Date: Sat, 05 Jan 2002 04:09:27 +0000 From: Daniel M Subject: JC Dreams 34 DISCLAIMER: This series is entirely fiction. It is by no means an inference into who Nsync is and any of the band members sexuality. If you are under the legal age to read this I now request you leave. If you are offended by M/M topics, I would ask that you remove yourself from reading this story as well. I am by no means affiliated with JIVE/ZOMBA Records. And can someone please tell me why I no longer bitch about having to do this part? AUTHOR'S WORDS: Hey Everyone. I'm not going to rant in rave about flames this time... instead I'm going to say... if you think you can do better... you fucking write it. I know what I'm doing, I know where I'm taking this series... you don't. Also, I need to apologize again from my Australian terms and not using more American ones. I'm still learning. If I blooper, can someome please let me know. I want to say that I hope everyone had a happy Christmas and is enjoying the festive season and that you all have a safe and happy new year. SC. AUTHOR'S THANKS: I want to thank so many people now but I don't know where to start. Well to start, I should thank the Nifty Archivist who has allowed me to post this series on his site and has continued to let me. After Nifty, I want to thank the Lord for giving me the ability to write and the words that I put into each part of this series. Next I would like to thank my most devout reader, Jordan. My young friend, you are amazing. You have a sense of knowledge and street smarts that belies your age. Welcome to my family. Carsten, my friend, your support to this series and to me with all that has happened, words cannot say thank you enough. You are one in a million. Your way with words always manage to make me smile (to make me smile is rare at the momement, yet my friend... you still know how to) and make me realise when I've fucked up in the story some where. Without you, JC Dreams would be totally and utterly rooted at times. At times, when I feel I'm slipping within me, I know that I can write and just talk to you Carsten, you will never know what that means to me. You are one in a million and I can't think of what to say now to try and explain what's inside... some author huh. Tim, the net is a big place and it can also be a dangerous place. Keep in mind the lessons I have taught. Things can go wrong, but it is up to you to make them right. To anyone who has read and written in... thanks, your words of support are a blessing to me in disguise. You may not realise the impact but they are all amazing. Paul, my angel, my friend and my heart. I cannot begin to tell you all that I hide in my heart and all that I know eternally within. There is so much potential in all that I see with you. I can see the movie director, I can see the young man, I can see the caring lover. I now challenge you Paul, see what I do. Even if you don't become big and famous, you still make me proud of you for being you. I love you for it, and I miss you baby. To those who have read and not written in, thanks for just reading. AUTHOR RECOMMENDS: Jamie's Romance - (Boy Bands) - Staring Justin (Nsync) and Jamie (non-celeb) in a fantastic read. Well done to Jim in the unbelievable ways you write your story. I want to be able to write like you one day, as an author, you are a huge role model to me. Just Together - (Celebrity) - Michael (From Dawson's Creek) and Jonnah (tech crew) are written into an amazing story which pulls at all the heart strings. Without this series, I would be lost. Search and Rescue - (Boy Bands) - Nsync story with JC (duh) and Matt (non-celeb)... and the author's a slack bastard!! He's worse than I am at updating. LOL... now that says somnething. Leave us hanging why don't ya... write more. Still this is by far the best of all the JC series that get posted here on Nifty. Ryan's Love - (Celebrity) - Ryan Phillipe and Seth Barnes... fiction character who writes for 'Felicity' ... it's an older series that was finished like two years ago, but still a fucking good read. Go find it! It's also started to be updated again with all the characters growing and being expanded on. Josh and Curly - (Boy Bands) - at last another Nsync story by another Australian... YEEEHAW! FEEDBACK: jellybeanking@hotmail.com -- this email has a messenger attatched to it. I know this is a new email address, I have been added to a spam list by some delightful person... if I find out who, look out (joke). DEDICATION: This series is dedicated to Brendon Alexander James. 10 - January - 1980 to 20 - August - 2000. From his memory and support, a story born. Eternal rest grant unto him O'Lord and may perpetual light shine upon him. May he rest in peace. Amen JC Dreams 34 by SunChild JC woke first the next day. He propped himself up on his elbows and looked at Tony's sleeping form. His face, for once, wasn't lined with pain. It was a welcome relief considering the past few weeks. He slowly realised, that the past few weeks had also been taking their toll on him, he just hadn't released it. Gently, JC stroked Tony's face causing him to stir in his sleep. Groggily Tony opened one eye and looked at JC. "You're awake early. Who died?" "No one that I know of. I just woke up." "Okay, well I'm thinking I'm going back to sleep." Muttered Tony already half asleep. JC sighed and climbed out of bed and walked out into the main area of the hotel room. Mark was sitting at the table, a cup of coffee in his hand. "Morning." Mark chirped at him. JC smiled. "Mornin'." JC fetched his coffee then sat down and drank deeply. "How'd you sleep?" Mark asked. "He slept fine." JC replied automatically. "I don't give a shit how Tony slept, I asked how YOU slept." Mark repeated. JC looked shock then realised what he said. "Sorry, I'm so used to everyone asking about Tony. I slept okay." "It's cool. Caleb was right wasn't he?" Mark asked, more as a statement than a question. "Which part?" "The part where it's all about Tony. Everything revolves around Tony." Mark said. JC sighed. "I guess it is in the end. I spent most of the night thinking about it. It was a little surprising when I realised. Tony has all these endearing little things that cloak everything underneath. Don't get me wrong, I love him for everything, but he's starting to become the next Mariah." "Mariah?" Asked Mark, clearly confused. "Mariah Carey... diva syndrome. It gets to them and they all think that the universe is theirs and revolves around them. I think everyone who gets a name starts to go through it at some stage. I did, Justin did, Lance kinda did, Chris did... and well Joey... he's too bloody lazy to go through it." JC laughed to himself. He then quickly checked himself realising who he was talking to. "It's okay JC, he's my brother but I've seen the same thing, I think you need to confront him on it all. Tell him what's inside. He no longer looks at you with the love in his eyes that he used to, it's like the entire spark has gone from them. I know he still loves you, but he's lost and has forgotten why." "Great, he loves me, but doesn't know why." Groaned JC. When Tony finally appeared hours later, JC was gone as was Mark. A note was left on the table. Tone, Gone out for a while. I'm still friends with Justin. Have my cell if you need me. Love, J. Tony's face screwed up in disgust, then realised it was unfair of him to expect JC to ditch his friends because of him. Shrugging he put the note back down on the table and ambled over and made himself a coffee. When he had his mug he walked over and down and flicked on the TV. Finally selecting MTV, he was greeted by JC's beautiful face on the 'Gone' film clip. Sighing, he wondered what he should do about the mess with Justin. He knew he would miss the friendship, but could he trust Justin again? A million of these thoughts crowded his head. Shaking his head, he flipped off the TV and walked out onto the balcony. He sat there quietly and looked out over the city. JC returned back to the hotel a few hours later and found Tony still sitting on the balcony. Walking out he sat down next to Tony. "How was your morning?" He asked and snapped Tony out of his trance. "Sorry, didn't hear you come in. It was okay... how was your time with Justin?" He asked. JC shrugged. "It was time with Justin." Tony nodded. "Did he say anything about..." "About you? No." "You're kidding. After all the bullshit and pain he caused ..." "Caused you? What about the pain he caused to everyone else." JC snapped at Tony. "Josh, what's wrong?" "Nothing is wrong Tony." JC told him, annoyance shining in his voice. "Then why are you snapping at me?" "Because it's always about you Tony. Everything has to revolve around you. Caleb was right, you are becoming self-absorbed and ignorant. The rest of us have problems as well you know..." "Josh..." Tony tried. "Don't interrupt me Tony. I've had enough of it. You're turning into little miss thang, trying to be the superstar that you're not. As far as you're concerned, the world revolves around you. Yeah fair enough, it's been a fucked up time for you... but always? I don't think so. You never look optimistic, always negative. You expect too much of everyone. You want Justin to have the head of a 30 year old on his shoulders. Christ Tony, he's 20. He never really had a child hood... it was all in the spot light." JC ranted angrily. "I only do what I do because I want him to find his childhood." "Then let him. Don't step on him all the time when he makes a mistake." JC steamed. "Fucking Caleb wasn't a mistake." "Yes it was Tony. It was also a cry out to you. You smother and choke him. If he rebelled and did something you wouldn't like, you'd loosen your grip. I don't think he realised how far it would throw things, but it was a mistake." JC continued. "Josh..." "Don't 'Josh' me Tony. I've had enough. Sort your shit out or move out. I'm expected to just sit back and listen to you bitch, whine and be at your beck and call whenever you need. Where am I meant to turn when I need something." "You're meant to turn to me." Tony threw back. "How can I, when all I do is listen to you and tend to you?" JC threw at him harshly. Tony looked away. "What are you saying, you want out?" "That's always the way with you isn't it Tony. If things aren't peachy pie and fine, you want to run and get out. It's either all or nothing and the all is one sided Tony. That's not a relationship, it's a parasite. It's going to kill us Tony. Now sort it out, I'll be staying with Chris and Joey while you do." JC snapped and stood. "Josh, please..." "No Tony, not now." "Fine JC." "Oh get fucked Tony." JC told him in disgust. With that JC walked out off the balcony and out of the hotel room, slamming the door behind him. Tony shuddered as he heard the door slam and slumped forwards, head in his hands. JC stalked down the hall, a thunder cloud hovering over his head. Justin stuck his head out the door and saw JC coming towards him. "JC, you okay?" "No, I'm pissed off." He snapped. "Ah... ok... why?" "Because Tony is a fucking self-centred diva... tell Caleb he was right for me." With that JC stormed on past. Justin's head reeled as he tried to take it in. Justin walked back into his room and closed the door. Caleb looked at him. "JC and Tony are on the outs?" Asked Caleb. "Again." Justin said sighing. Caleb grinned. "Makes my heart beat faster." Justin looked at Caleb in disgust and opened the door. "Seek help Caleb." He said as he closed the door. Joey and Chris were returning from the mall, each had bags in their hands when JC rounded the corner and almost smacked into them. "Just the guys I was looking for." JC half grinned. "You flattened, I mean, found us." Chris smiled. "Can I crash with you guys for a few nights?" He asked. Chris and Joey looked at each other. "Why?" "Long story short, I told Tony to shape up or ship out. I've had enough of his superstar image that he's created for himself. I told him as much too." JC admitted. Chris sighed. "Why did I see this coming? Yes, of course you can." JC smiled for the first time that day. "Thanks guys." The elevator doors opened and Mark stepped out, his arm linked with Britney's. "Oh God, don't tell me you two are together now?" Moaned Joey. "Our secret." Giggled Britney. The other three men all looked at each other. "They are." "JC, I hope you don't mind, but I've gotten my own room now." Mark told him. JC shrugged. "It's cool. I'm staying with Chris and Joey." "Went off at Tony?" Asked Mark. "Went off at Tony." Confirmed JC. Britney shook her head. "You guys are unreal. Look at what he's been through, and you all walk away." "Look at what you just said Brit. That's what he's all about... the poor little Tony thing. I'm sick of it. That's why I'm not staying with him." JC commented. Britney sighed. "Okay, well, don't think that I'm going to ignore him or anything." JC shook his head. "I won't Brit. I don't dicate on friendships." Britney nodded and she and Mark walked down towards their room. Justin walked up and down the hall outside his room, trying to decide if he should go see Tony, or just keep clear. Mark and Britney rounded the corner and he looked up. "Brit..." He began. Britney looked away and kept walking. Justin sighed and decided to go for a walk. Walking into the room, Caleb was lying on the bed. "I wondered when you'd come back." "I'm only getting some shoes and a cap." Justin told him curtly. "Well, I'll come with you." Caleb said moving on the bed. "Don't bother. I'm going on my own." Justin told him as he pulled on his shoes. When they were on, he stood and got ready to walk out the door. "I suggest you aren't here when I get back." Justin told him and left. Tony hadn't moved from where he was on the balcony when he heard the front door open. Half turning he called out quietly. "Josh?" "Try again. I just came to get my stuff, I'm getting my own room a few doors down." Mark called back. "Oh, okay. Have you seen Josh?" Tony asked standing and walking into the room. "Yeah, he's staying with Chris and Joey. Anyways, I'm movin' my stuff... see ya at dinner or something." Mark said as he hurried out of the room. Tony was left standing there feeling more alone than ever before. JC, Joey and Chris were all sitting around in their hotel room when JC stood. "I'm going to go and get my clothes." He told them. Joey and Chris nodded and JC walked down to Tony's room. Walking in, he saw Tony sitting in a little ball in the corner. JC contemplated going over to him but decided against it. He walked quietly into the bedroom and collected his things. As he was leaving Tony looked up, and called out softly, his voice broken. "Josh?" "See you at dinner Tony." JC said as he closed the door. Tony dropped his head back down and let tears slip down over his cheeks. Justin returned from his walk and entered the room. He looked around and saw no sign of Caleb. He looked over and Caleb's bag was gone. Smiling happily, Justin felt a weight lifted from his shoulder. For the first time in days, Justin felt halfway normal and decent. The group gathered for dinner, minus Tony. After waiting five minutes, Lance, who had been in meetings all day, went and called Tony. When he came back, his face was confused. "There was no answer when I rang his room. He didn't answer his cell phone either." JC shrugged. "Means he's not interested. Let's go." With that JC walked out of the lobby and out to the waiting car. Mark got a worried look on his face. "I think I may have advised wrong." Joey looked at him. "Advised wrong?" "I told JC to face Tony and tell him things straight." Admitted Mark. "Ever get the feeling JC told him too straight?" Threw in Chris. "Very much so." The group sighed collectively. "Well, he won't answer the door either no doubt, so let's go eat and then talk about it later." Justin suggested. Chris declined. "Actually, I don't think I'll go out tonite. It wouldn't be right without Tony there." He said. The others nodded understanding and headed out of the lobby while Chris turned and headed back up to the floor where they were all based. Chris walked out of the elevator and was about to go into his room when he reconsidered and walked down to Tony's room. Knocking lightly, he waited for an answer. The door opened slightly and Chris tried to look in but could see only Tony's outline in the darkness. "Yes Chris?" "I just wanted to see if you wanted to grab something to eat. The other's have all gone out and I didn't want to go. Thought you might want some company." Tony shook his head. "No thanks Chris, I'd rather just be alone. I'm going to go to bed anyways. I'll see you tomorrow or something." Chris was going to say more when Tony shut the door. "Night Chris." "Good night Tony." Chris stood there for a moment longer, confused as what to do next. Eventually, he wandered back down to his room and ordered room service. True to his word, Tony walked into the bedroom and climbed into bed. He looked at the empty spot next to him, which would usually be filled by JC. Tony felt tears trickling down over his cheeks and wiped them away. Eventually, he slipped off asleep into a dreamless sleep which seemed to never end until the morning light penetrated his room. Getting out of bed, he closed the curtains and checked all the locks, sliding the chain into position on the door. With that he turned and climbed back into bed. The others had arrived home late and had split to go to bedrooms. Lance was now bunking in with Justin, Britney had migrated down to Mark's room, now vacated by Lance. JC and Joey headed to the same room. They walked in and found Chris asleep on the couch, a pizza half finished infront of him and light from the TV flickering against him. Walking over, JC gently shook Chris. Chris awoke with a start and looked at JC. "Oh, sorry didn't hear you come in." JC smiled. "It's cool, we're all just heading off to bed." Chris nodded. JC looked at him and spoke softly. "Did you go see Tony?" Chris nodded his head. "How is he?" Asked JC. "Don't know, the lights were off and he was going to bed, I didn't really see him." Chris told him, sympathy and pity lacing his voice. JC nodded and shrugged. "His loss." With that he grabbed a pillow and lay down on the couch. The next morning when JC awoke, he got up and got dressed, finding Joey and Chris still asleep, he crept quietly from the room and went down and tried to get into Tony's room with his key. The door partly opened, only to be stopped by the chain. Surprised and hurt, JC sighed and pulled the door closed and locked it again. Pulling pen and paper from his pocket, he wrote and slid the note under the door. Tony hear someone at the door and got out of bed. He saw the door close and heard it lock again. He then saw a note slip in under the door. Walking over, he picked it up gingerly and read it. Tone, I don't care, words are words, I still love you more than my life. Love for eternity J. xx Crumpling the note, he threw it on the table. "Then why'd you leave Josh, then why'd you leave?" He asked. --- Shoot me later, I know what I'm doing. Feedback: -= jellybeanking@hotmail.com =- Hugs kisses and jellybeans, SC.