Date: Mon, 27 Dec 1999 01:03:27 -0500 From: AJ Smith Subject: JUST-JC 2 *** This story contains homosexual related material. If you're not supposed to read this because of laws or whatever, then leave... otherwise, enjoy :)*** Please send any and all comments to: [smit8255@fredonia.edu] (Please specify this story in your message thank you). So Far I have received many positive comments, and I thank all of you. Also I'd like to thank two people, CJ and Jon. You guys have been great, I'm glad to have you as friends, and I hope we remain that way for a LONG time :) Part 2: Justin, JC, and Jonathan drove off. They had no specific places to be at any specific time for the next 3 days. They just rode around with the radio going and enjoyed the views. The sun was slowly starting to set and Justin's cellular started ringing. "Hello?" JC asked as he took the phone from Justin's hand. "JC, is that you?" Lynn asked. "Hi Mrs. Timberlake, yeah it's me. What can I do for ya?" JC asked cheerfully. "Is my son there?" she replied. "Which one," he laughed. "So Jonathan is with you guys, that's good. Justin please," she told him. "Sure, hang on a sec," JC said as he handed the phone in Justin's direction. "It's your mom dude," he smiled. "Thanks," he said as he took the phone. "Hey mom, what's up?" he asked. "Not much, just checkin' on you. Making sure you had your brother. Also wanted to see how you were feeling. Chris said you looked as good as ever." she said. "I'm fine, Jonathan is having a good time, and we're just cruisin' around," Justin replied. "Ok, well don't keep him out too late," she said. "All right mom, talk to ya later, bye," he said as he turned the phone off and through it on the seat. "Parents. I tell ya," Justin laughed as he shuck his head. JC smiled at him, and continued to enjoy the ride. JC enjoyed spending time with Justin, even if it was sitting next to him in silence, he still loved it. He would look over at Justin and just take in the sight as if he were an angel. He loved everything about him, and cherished him more than any other person he knew. He took his eyes off of him, so Justin wouldn't get suspicious about anything, in fact he noticed himself starting to stare at Justin's reflection in the windshield. 'Was he starring at me?' Justin thought to himself as he drove. He thought he felt JC's eyes lingering on him, but when he looked over he saw him just looking out the window. That's when he noticed himself studying JC. He was running his eyes up and down JC's entire body. Jonathan was sound asleep leaning against JC, while JC had his arm wrapped around the little kid. Justin snapped his attention to the road at the sound of a horn. "Shit!" Justin yelled as he swerved his car back into his lane. The semi continued to blow it's horn as they had passed. Justin just sat there stunned and shocked at his lack of control. JC snapped to and was confused as to what happened and Jonathan woke up. "What happened?" JC asked as he looked over at Justin. "I must be getting tired, because we nearly smacked into a semi," he said in a shaken tone. "You want me to drive?" JC offered. "Maybe you better," Justin replied as he slowly pulled off to the side of the road. Justin stepped out of the car and just leaned against it trying to catch his breath. He was shaking pretty bad, and was really upset. JC walked over to him. "Don't worry about it. Nothing happened, we're all fine," JC said as he pulled Justin into a hug. "Thanks, but I feel horrible. How could I have put you and Jonathan at risk," Justin replied as he took a long deep breath. "Everything's fine, now let's go home," JC said smiling down at Justin. Justin nodded. They both got in the car, and JC drove to Justin's home. JC slowly pulled into the garage, and turned the car off. "Here we are, home," JC said as he reached over and grabbed his shoulder. "Thank God," Justin sighed. "Would you stop. We're fine, no one was hurt. It's ok, you made a simple mistake," JC consoled him. 'If only you knew why I took my eyes off the road. You would have quite a different reaction and you probably would not be here right now' Justin thought to himself as he forced a smile on his face. "Now, come on. Let's get Johnny here to bed, and we'll chill for the night, ok?" JC said as he stepped out of the car. "Ok, come on Jon, let's get you to bed," Justin said to his brother as he lifted him in his arms. Jon just hugged him, and laid his head on Justin's shoulder as he slowly drifted off to sleep again. Justin walked in the house with JC, and took him right up to his bed. "He's beat," JC replied as Justin pulled his shoes off. "Yeah, he's not used to all the excitement, that and it's already 10," Justin answered back. Justin pulled the covers over him, and ruffled his hair as they left the room. JC then followed Justin to his room, where they decided to chat. Chris was already sound asleep, they could here him snoring from the hall which made them both laugh. As soon as Justin closed his door, he flung himself on top of JC and wrestled him to the floor. They laughed and rolled around on the floor for a little while. They stopped at the knocking at the door. "Come in," Justin called out as they stood up. "Hey guys," Lynn said as she stepped in. "Hi mom," Justin told her. "Hi guys. Chris said everything went real well in New York," Lynn stated. "Yeah, but they'll probably have Curly here on his death bed," JC laughed Lynn smiled at the comment. "Well, just keep it down you two. Sounded like there was a hurricane up here," Lynn laughed as she looked at the two. "All right. Night mom," Justin said as she left the room. Both of them looked at each other and started cracking up. JC went over to Justin's stereo and hit the play button. Since the last thing programmed in to play was 'Together Again', JC looked at him with an odd look. "Together Again?" JC asked a little confused. "Yeah, why?" Justin shrugged. "I expected some dance mix to come pouring out of the speakers, that's all," he replied. "Hadn't listened to it in awhile," Justin half smiled. JC shrugged his shoulders and flipped over to the radio. He went from station to station until he came upon some up beat dance music. "Here we go," he smiled over at Justin who smiled back. JC walked back over to Justin and sat on the bed next to him. "So what do you wanna do?" Justin asked. "I don't know?" JC shook his head. "Wanna play cards?" Justin wondered. "Sure, I'll take you down at Rummy," JC replied confidently. "Ohh, you think so, do ya?" Justin laughed as he reached over and grabbed a deck of cards from his side table. JC smiled, and grabbed the cards from Justin's hands. They settled on the floor, and began to play. They stayed up until it was close to 2 in the morning. They had stopped playing cards an hour ago, and Justin was slowly drifting off as he laid on the floor. JC just sat there starring at him. He was getting tired himself, but he loved watching Justin sleep so peacefully. He watched him sleep for about an hour, until finally he started to zone himself. With that, he got up and lifted Justin off the floor and onto the bed. Justin barely stirred. He pulled the blankets on top of him and looked down at the sleeping blonde. He slowly raised his hand and lightly rubbed Justin's cheek. He wanted to crawl in bed next to him, but he knew he couldn't. He was so afraid Justin would kick him out of the house, and was afraid he would blurt out to the others he was gay. JC started to get teary eyed and the thought of that, and slowly left the room. He walked to the guest room, where he had slept many times. He dressed down to his boxers, and hopped in the bed. His mind was still concentrating on the sleeping Justin a few feet away, until he finally drifted off. "WAKE UP!" Chris screamed at the top of his lungs in JC's ear. JC was so scared that he smacked Chris knocking him down as JC sat up. JC was out of breath, and his adrenaline was pumping. Lance, Justin, and Joey stood in the doorway laughing very hard. "That hurt you ass," Chris said as he got up again holding the side of his cheek. "I'm the ass? Don't do that to me," JC said out of breath. "Come on JC, get dressed. We're heading out to lunch, sleepy," Lance said as JC stood to get dressed. Joey and Lance walked downstairs as Chris looked at his face in the mirror. "You got me good, my face is all red," Chris complained. "Well you deserved it," JC smiled back. Chris smiled and slowly walked towards Justin. Justin stood there, watching JC's every move. He starred at JC's nearly naked body. Justin's lust for him was beginning to get harder and harder to hide. JC looked over at Justin who seemed to be oblivious to the world. "Justin?... Justin?" JC asked. JC through on his robe, and noticed Justin hadn't come to. He walked over to Justin and shook him. "Justin!" JC screamed at him. "What?... What?" Justin said as he looked around confusingly. "You all right?" JC asked. "Yeah, just thinking," Justin smiled. "Well, come on. We're going some place, and I need to eat and shower before hand," JC told him. "We're eating out," Justin replied. "Well, I still need to shower," JC smiled as he grabbed his shirt and socks. JC then headed to the bathroom, to go get ready. Chris gave Justin a questioning look, but Justin just nodded to him, that everything was ok. Justin went to his room, and closed the door. He leaned against it and started to think about what had just occurred. He slowly slid to the floor and set his head on his knees. "I can't believe I just did that," Justin said softly. 'I need to be careful, I have to watch my every step. I can't let him or any of the guys know about me. I can't risk my loosing JC, I just can't' Justin thought to himself. He finally stood up, took a deep breath, and proceeded to go downstairs to meet the rest of the guys. "You ok, Just?" Lance asked. "Yeah I'm fine, why do you ask?" Justin questioned. "You sure? I mean you seem preoccupied or something. You know we're all hear for you, right?" Lance continued. "Yeah, I know. But nothing's up, just have had a lot on my mind lately," Justin explained as he started flicking through the channels on the tv. Lance seemed very upset with that answer, but never said another word. He just sat there with his arms crossed and starred at the tv in silence. JC finally appeared in the room. "Ok fella's, I'm ready. So where we eating," JC asked cheerfully. Justin stood at the instant presence of him. "Don't know yet, but let's go. I'm starved," Justin complained. "Me too," Joey agreed. The guys went out to Lance's car, and Lance drove to the restaurant without saying a single word. They pulled into a parking spot, and Lance shut the car off. "What's up Lance? Why do you seem so upset?" Joey asked. "Ohh, it's nothing. I'm fine," Lance snapped back. The four of them looked at him in shock. "What is it Lance?" JC asked as he put his hand on Lance's shoulder. Lance shook it off. "Why should I tell you? It's not like we trust each other or anything. We're just colleagues at work, and that's it," Lance replied with an attitude. "What?" JC screamed. "What are you talking about Lance? We're all the best of friends, we tell each other everything," Chris said. "HA! Tell that one to JC and Justin," Lance snapped back as he hopped out of the car. "Now let's go eat, and I'll let you guys alone," Lance replied as he headed towards the restaurant. JC and Justin just starred at each other questioningly. "He's right you know," Joey told them. "What?" Justin asked. "Yeah, both of you have been very distant lately. JC on the plane, Justin this morning," Joey continued. "But, neither of you will talk to us anymore," Chris finished. Both JC and Justin knew what they were talking about. They hated to keep secrets from the guys, but they were so scared that they would be excommunicated from the group. They didn't want their relations to change, and they more specifically didn't want to ruin the relationship between the two of them. "Well?" Joey asked. "Well, what?" Justin asked slowly. "They ain't gonna break, come on," Chris told Joey angrily. Both Justin and JC looked at each other. They felt horrible about keeping a secret, but also were a little perturbed at the fact that the other was holding something back. Joey, Lance, and Chris were waiting for Justin and JC inside. After they sat in silence for about a minute, they both decided that they better get going. The guys ordered their food, and little was said during lunch. Justin slowly picked at his salad, while JC sat there looking down at his plate. Neither of them had an appetite anymore, and both just wanted to go to their own home and lock themselves away for awhile and hope that this would just blow over. "You guys done?" Joey asked. "Yeah," Justin responded. JC nodded, and they left. JC handed the cashier his credit card as the guys left the restaurant. Justin remained a few feet behind the guys. JC slowly walked out, and saw them waiting for him. He breathed slowly and deeply, hoping the day would be over and he could go to his own house. Once inside, Lance pulled out of the parking lot and drove off towards the mall. "Where we headed?" Justin asked. "The mall. Why, you have a problem with that?" Lance snapped back. "No," Justin replied softly as he continued to look down at his feet. The tension between the guys never seemed to go away. 'Dear Lord, why does this have to happen to me? Why do I have to be gay? Why do I have to have these feelings for JC? I just want this all to go away, I want things to be like they used to be' Justin said to himself. Justin looked over at JC, who seemed just as upset as Justin was. They pulled into the lot, and Lance told everyone to meet back at the car in 2 hours. They all agreed, and they headed into the mall. Justin wanted to just sit in the car alone, and wait for the others to return. JC debated on calling a cab to take him home, but knew that would hurt more than help the current situation. Joey and Chris headed off into one direction. JC, Lance, and Justin each went their separate ways in different directions. JC just walked slowly until he found the food court. He walked over to a secluded table, and sat down. He buried his face in his arms, and waited for the time to come about for him to meet the others. Justin just walked blindly forward. The mall was rather quiet since most of the people were either in school or at work. Justin finally walked over to a bench by one of the fountains in the main aisle and sat down. He watched the people pass by, as he sulked in his own thoughts of regret. 'How can I keep this from all of them? But how do I tell them?' JC asked himself. 'If Justin shunned me, how could I continue to live?' he continued. JC wiped the forming tears from his eyes, and looked up. It had only been 15 minutes and he buried his face again. 'This is gonna take forever' JC thought unhappily. Lance came up behind Justin and sat next to him as he set the bags down he was carrying. "Didn't take you long to find what you wanted, did it?" Justin asked trying to smooth things out with a laugh. Lance didn't smile, but had a face of concern. "Will you tell me what's bothering you? Or at least tell me what I did to make you think you can't trust me?" Lance begged as he put his arm around Justin. Justin was very emotionally unstable by this point and flung his arms around Lance's waist, buried his face in his chest and started to cry uncontrollably. "Ohhh, Justin. I didn't mean to make you cry. Come on Just, it's ok, whatever it is," Lance said as he tried to make him feel better. After three minutes, Justin managed to calm down. He pulled back from Lance, his face all red. "Feel better?" Lance asked as he smiled to comfort Justin. "Yeah, thanks," Justin replied. "Now, will you tell me what has you so upset that you just cried in my arms in the middle of the mall?" Lance asked again. "Lance, it's not you. I love you, I really do. But what I'm afraid of is once you know what I'm holding back, will you be the same?" Justin said. "Justin, I'm here for you. I look at you as my own brother dude," Lance told him. "Well, I can't tell you here. And, I don't want to say in front of the guys either, but I need to tell someone," Justin said a little hesitantly. "Fine, we'll head out to the car. Come on," Lance said as he helped Justin to his feet. Lance wrapped his arm around Justin as they walked out. Justin just starred at the floor, hoping no one would notice them, because he looked horrible. They made it out of the mall and to the car successfully without any conflicts from people. Justin and Lance got in the front seat. "Ok, what is it Just?" Lance asked. "Well, let me just say this before I tell you. I will understand how ever you react. I have never regretted knowing you or any of the others. I want you to know, that this has been the best part of my life, and always shall be," Justin stated. "You're not leaving! Are you?" Lance asked in shock. "No. At least I hope I'm not," Justin responded. "Then why does it sound like you just signed your death sentence?" Lance questioned. "Because of how you might react to what I'm about to say," Justin said as he let out a deep breath. "Ok, here it goes," Justin started. Justin felt the tears starting to return, but held them back until he had finished saying what needed to be said. "Lance? Over the past few days I have come to a drastic realization. I have thought and rethought out everything several times, and know that this is fact. If there was anything I could do to change it, I would, but I can't fool myself anymore," Justin continued as tears started to run down his cheeks. Lance sat there taking every word in as if it were coming from the mouth of God. "Lance, I'm..., I'm.... Lance, I'm gay," Justin said softly as he started to cry. He leaned over as he buried his face in his hands. Lance just starred at Justin in silence trying to grasp the words that just left Justin's mouth. After about 3 minutes of shock and finally realizing how upset Justin was he snapped to. "Oh, Justin. I'm so sorry. I didn't have a clue. I'm so sorry Just, I really am," Lance begged as he pulled him into his arms. "I won't tell a soul. Don't worry, you're not goin' any where. I don't love you any less, in fact I feel closer to you, more so than before. You're still one of my 4 best friends, and I'm not gonna ignore you, or spend any less time with you. I'm always gonna be here for you," Lance said as he rocked Justin in his arms for awhile. Yet he didn't feel right anymore. Lance seemed very confused and was having trouble grasping this idea. He felt it best to comfort Justin and ask questions later. "Chris? What do you think is bothering JC and Justin so much?" Joey asked. "I don't know. I just wish they'd tell us, I mean what are friends for, right?" Chris replied. "Yeah, I know," Joey agreed. "I wonder how bad it is. I mean, what if one of them is dying or they have cancer or something," Joey said in a very worried tone. "Don't say shit like that. They're fine, we're fine, everybody's fine. You understand that?" Chris barked at him. Joey just looked at him with sight fear in his eyes. "Sorry Joe. This whole thing has gotten to me, and I don't want to think about that type of shit," Chris told him. "Yeah, I know what you mean," Joey replied as they continued to wonder the mall. They finally reached the food court and agreed on grabbing a quick milkshake before heading back to Lance's car. They got what they wanted and looked for a place to sit when they noticed JC in the far corner with his head on the table. "Look, there's JC," Chris motioned in his direction. "Is he ok?" Joey asked as they walked over to him quickly. "Hey, JC? You all right dude?" Chris asked as he sat next to him. Joey took a seat across from him and set his bags on the floor. "JC?" Joey asked. Chris reached over and shook him slightly. "JC, answer me?" Chris said starting to get worried. "Oh, shit, come on JC wake up, do something," Joey said as he started to lift JC's head off of his arms. JC held his head down with all his might. "Will you answer us? What is up with you?" Chris asked. "You scared the shit out of us," Joey stated as he sat down. "JC! Say something," Chris yelled at him. "Please just leave me alone," JC said quietly with a sniffle. "You crying, JC?" Joey asked. Joey slammed his fists on the table. "God dammit JC, look at me!" Joey screamed. JC slowly lifted his face out of his arms. He was beat red, and his face was wet with tears. His eyes were redder than the rest of his face, and he looked like he was ready to fall apart. "Jesus, JC? What's the matter?" Chris asked as took his hand and started to massage his shoulder. Joey walked to JC's side, kneeled down and started to rub his back trying to comfort him. JC slowly began to speak, "Guys, I hate keeping things from you. And I don't mean anything by it. I love you guys so much, but I'm afraid to tell you what I've been hiding for the past few years," JC said trying to keep himself from breaking down again. "What is it JC? You can trust us. We'll still love you no matter what it is," Joey reassured him. "I don't know how true that'll be once you know," JC said as he started to loose the battle with the tears. "Come on, don't break down on us JC," Joey told him kindly. Chris reached over and grabbed JC's hand and squeezed, and JC squeezed back as he started to calm down. JC looked at Chris and then over to Joey and finally let out a slow and long breath. "Ok, I'll tell you. If I can't trust you then there's nobody left in the world to turn to. I love you both, and no one else knows what I'm about to tell you either," JC started as he looked down at the table. "Well, you know how you constantly are trying to get me hitched up with a girl?" he said. "Yeah, why did you find someone?" Chris asked. "No, if it were that easy you think I'd be cryin," JC said as he smiled slightly. JC then broke down in tears and through his head back in his arms on the table. "I'm gay... I'm gay," JC said between gasps for air. Both Joey and Chris were shocked at what they heard, and could now understand why he had been so upset. Joey and Chris starred at each other with blank looks on their faces. "You're what?" Chris said as he stood up looking around as if he were lost. "Chris?" Joey asked as he looked up at him with an odd look. "Ohh God, I don't know? You kept something like that from us, and didn't think... I don't know?" Chris babbled on. "I gotta go for a walk, I'll meet you at the car, I, I gotta go," Chris said as he bolted off. JC started to cry even harder. "Why me, lord? Why does this have to happen to me?" JC said as he cried uncontrollably. "Guy, don't cry. It's all right, we don't thing any less of you. Chris is just confused, he just has to think and take it in" Joey said as he tried to help JC calm down. Joey, however, was a little shaken by the fact, but accepted it pretty well. JC looked up at Joey. He wiped the tears from his eyes with his sleeve. "You hate me, don't you?" JC asked Joey. "What kind of a question is that? Of course I don't hate you. You're the same JC I knew yesterday. You're still my friend," Joey told him. "Chris hates me." JC said as he started to hyperventilate. Joey got JC a tall glass of ice cold water and led him to the bathroom to clean his face. They managed to make JC look like he hadn't been crying too much. "Ok, Lance and Justin should be at the car soon, so we should get going," Joey told him. JC nodded as Joey led him out to the car. "So JC, you gonna tell Lance or Justin?" Joey asked. "No!" JC snapped instantly when he heard Justin's voice. Joey looked at him in shock. "I can't tell him," JC said slowly. "Which one, Lance or Justin?" Joey asked. "Justin," JC explained. "Why?" Joey asked confused. "I don't know, I just have this feeling about it. Something is telling me that right now is not the time to tell him," JC explained. "Ok, but you have to tell him eventually. It is ultimately your choice, I won't say a word to anyone," Joey informed JC. "Chris probably will," JC sadly said. "I don't think he will. This is his way to deal with it," Joey reassured him. "But you gonna tell Lance?" Joey asked. "When the time comes, and we're alone," JC told them. Joey nodded with approval as they continued on to Lance's car. "So I'm the only one who knows?" Lance asked as he held Justin. Justin nodded yes. "You gonna tell the others?" Lance asked. "I don't know? I don't know if I can deal with this again," Justin explained. "You really should they need to know you trust them with something like this. I doubt they will turn there backs on you. You should know that as well as I do," Lance continued. "Yeah I know, but it's not so much Chris and Joey as it is JC," Justin told Lance. "Why JC?" Lance questioned. "I don't know? It's just that, we've known each other since we were like real little, and grown up together and all. I don't want that to change. I mean we'd still be friends I'm sure, but it would be different with this in the air, ya know? Especially with him in the same house as me." Justin asked. "I think I can see your point, but I also feel that it wouldn't do that," Lance said. Justin shrugged his shoulders. "Well I won't tell anybody, that's your choice. But I do encourage you to tell the others," Lance told him. Justin let out a sigh of slight relief. "Lance, thanks for being here. Thanks for not ditching me," Justin told him as he squeezed Lance closer to him. "Hey, that's what I'm here for," Lance said as Justin slowly sat up. Lance felt bad thinking the things he was, but he couldn't help it. He never really understood the whole 'Gay Thing', and now he was being forced to deal with it. He hoped he wasn't letting on that he had these feelings, and just smiled at Justin. "Here come the guys, minus Chris." Lance said as he looked into the rear view mirror. "Shit, how bad do I look?" Justin asked as he looked into Lance's eyes. "You look like you've been crying Niagara Falls," Lance laughed which made Justin start laughing. "Here's a tissue," Lance said as he handed one to Justin. Justin quickly dried his eyes and did the best he could to make himself look somewhat better. The guys opened the doors, and crawled into the back. "Hey guys, where's Chris?" Justin said as Lance pulled out of the mall parking lot. "I'm not sure where he is?" Joey replied trying to keep the whole JC incident a secret. That's when Justin's cellular started ringing. "Hello?" Justin asked. "Hi Justin, you guys can head out without me, I'm staying for a little longer. I'll catch a cab home, and see you later," Chris replied. "Why?" Justin asked confused at his request. "Just do it, bye," Chris said and quickly hung up. "Well, uhhh..., Chris is not comming, and told us to leave without him," Justin told Lance. "Hmmm, that's weird, oh well. If that's what he wants," Lance said as he pulled out of the lot. "Where we off to now?" Joey asked. "How about we all just go chill out tonight?" Lance asked. "Nah, I'm tired and want to go to bed.," JC answered. "Ok, well, then I'll drop you two off, and then Joey, and then I'll see you tomorrow then?" Lance continued. "Yeah, sleep sounds good," Justin replied. "Well Lance, if you want, we can do something?" Joey asked. "Cool. I'll drop these two off and we'll go out or something," Lance replied with relief. Lance was trying to act normal, but was happy Justin turned down the offer. He needed time to think this all out. JC and Justin both felt a lot of relief off of themselves, yet they knew things could get complicated. Justin looked back at the guys and with one look at JC, spun himself back and snapped his glance forward. 'How am I supposed to hide my feelings for him from Lance, let alone the others?' Justin thought. JC had looked Justin directly in the eyes when he looked back at him. He sat there in thought wondering what would happen next. 'Justin, I wish I could tell you. I love you, but I can't bare to have things different between us.' JC said to himself, Lance continued driving towards Justin's. Everyone was now in complete silence. Both Justin and JC felt the onset of severe hunger, considering it was getting close to 5pm and they hadn't eaten much of anything today. They both had several things running through their minds about the other. *** Well, there it is...If you like it, send comments to [smit8255@fredonia.edu] please include the title "Just-JC" in the subject or message/comment. If not, tell me why (using' the same address as above). Otherwise: *TO BE CONTINUED* -AJ ***