This is a sexually explicit story (at times) involving homosexuality. By continuing to read, you affirm under penalties of perjury that you are not a minor or in the company of a minor and are entitled to have access to this story.
The following is a fictitious story with no real basis or credibility. It is solely for the enjoyment of the reader. Its all just fun. It does not imply anything about the sexual preferences or lifestyle of Justin Timberlake or any other celebrity mentioned in the story.
Michael focused his eyes, looking around him.
He was in a bedroom, where, he didn't know.
He had zoned out for a while, now remembering where he was.
Nicholas walked into the room, seeing Michael still sitting on the bed.
"How ya doing buddy?" He said sitting down beside him, putting his arm around him.
"Oh God, Nicholas! I hit him! I hit my Justin!" Tears flowing again in Michael's eyes.
"He deserved it, Michael. He was in bed with two other guys. One of them my Kevin."
Michael looked up at Nicholas, seeing his face sad.
"I'm sorry, Nicholas. Sorry for both of us. I love him so much, why would he do that to me? Why?"
"Because he was thinking with his dick instead of his heart, Mikey. He's the big popstar. He thinks he can have anyone. I didn't tell you but Kevin said Justin asked him to fuck him. Kevin's a horndog, Mike. He just gave into his desires. I know Nick's been a fuck buddy of his for a while. So I guess Justin took him on, too. I'm sorry."
Michael sobbed, Nicholas rubbing his back, smiling.
"This is going to be so easy." Nicholas thought, smiling.
"Justin never deserved you Michael. You're too good for him. You need someone like me. Someone who'd truly love you."
Michael sobbed against him.
"I love him so much. He's destroyed my heart. What can I do?"
"You can get back at him, Mikey. If he wants to hurt you, you hurt him back."
Michael broke their hug, looking into Nicholas' eyes, seeing lust there.
"You're beautiful, Michael, so beautiful. I want to show you real love. Make Justin pay for what he did to you."
Nicholas ran his hand along Michael's cheek, leaning in kissing his lips lightly.
Michael backed up, staring at him.
Nicholas looked so beautiful himself, so much like Daniel.
"I ... I don't know if this is right. Justin is everything to me."
"And all you are to him is a good fuck."
Michael lowered his eyes, tears falling.
Nicholas lifted his head, looking into his golden eyes.
"I can be so much more."
Nicholas pulled him to him, their lips connecting again.
Michael felt the passion in those lips, the desire.
Michael felt himself giving into that passion, his body lowering on the bed, Nicholas lowering himself on top of him.
The Night of Lost Souls and the Tomorrow It Brings
Michael's mind filled with an image.
An image of two men, at one moment in time.
He was standing in his old apartment, a man's arms around him, his love flowing into him.
Michael opened his eyes, looking into the bluest pools of heaven.
"I love you." Michael said, Justin beginning to sob.
Michael opened his eyes, someone's lips on his.
He saw Nicholas above him, feeling his hands working down between his legs.
Michael struggled, pushing against the man.
Nicholas' eyes opened their lips parting.
"Stop, Nicholas! I can't do this."
"Yes, you can Michael. I know you want it as much as I."
Michael pushed Nicholas off now with force.
Nicholas fell on his ass on the bedroom floor.
Michael was up in a flash, backing away from him.
"I can't, Nicholas. I'm sorry, I can't deal with this right now. All I can think of is Justin. And what he's done to me."
Nicholas got up slowly, staring at him.
"Come on, Michael! Justin has fucked you over! He's probably been fucking half the stars in Hollywood! Wise up!"
"No, I can't believe Justin is like that. I have to talk to him. I have to find out why he's done this."
Nicholas felt worry settle into his own mind.
"No, Michael. I don't think you should talk to him at all."
Nicholas began to walk up to him slowly, Nicholas opening his own shirt.
"I think you need to get back in bed, and let me make you forget about Justin Timberlake."
Nicholas pulled Michael against him, kissing him deeply, his hands working on Michael's belt.
Michael felt the lust and passion in the man, and the need.
The need for him.
Michael struggled, his hands going outwards.
He pushed Nicholas back, Nicholas flying across the room.
"I said no!!!"
Nicholas struggled up onto his knees, staring at Michael. How had he pushed him like that?
"I'm sorry, Nicholas. I can't." Michael said, his face a mask of deep emotions.
Michael walked out of the room.
The Next Morning.
Justin opened his eyes, his head feeling like a hammer was hitting it.
Lance sat beside his bed, looking down on his friend.
"Oh, God! I feel so hung over!" Justin moaned, Lance taking a glass of water off the night stand and a couple of pills.
"Here, Jus. Take these, they'll help your headache."
Justin took the pills, downing them with the water, laying back in the bed, closing his eyes.
"Where's Mico?" Justin asked, waiting for Lance to answer him.
The room was silent.
Justin's head felt a little better, Justin opening his eyes.
He looked at Lance, seeing tears in his eyes.
Justin sat up slowly, staring at him.
"What's wrong, Lance?"
Josh walked into the room, Justin looking up at him.
Josh looked tired, and deeply worried.
"What's going on with you two? You both look like shit."
Lance looked at Josh, Josh sitting down on the bed beside Justin.
They'd carried him home last night, removing his clothes and putting him in bed. They'd taken turns staying awake, watching him.
"It's been a long night, Justy." Josh said quietly, staring at his friend.
"What do you mean? I feel like I have a major hangover. Did I get drunk? Where's Mico?"
At the mention of Michael's name, Josh started trembling, Justin looking at both of them.
"What's going on? Is something wrong with Michael?" Justin said, both men seeing him getting emotional.
"I can only tell you this like it is, Jus. Michael's gone."
Justin froze, his eyes closing, his mind searching out for him, calling out for him.
All he heard was silence.
All he felt was a wall blocking him.
Michael was gone.
"No. This isn't right. Where is he? What's happened to my Mico?"
Josh took Justin in his arms, Justin trembling.
"Please tell me what's wrong, Josh! Please!." Justin said crying now.
"Michael left the party last night, Jus. In a state of total distress." Lance said, now sitting beside him.
"Why? What was he upset about?" Jus said, wiping his teary eyes.
Lance looked at Josh, Josh then looking at Justin.
"He walked in on you in bed with Kevin Federline and Nick Carter, Justin. You were having sex with both of them."
Justin's face went white, falling back onto the bed, Lance and Josh now both worried.
"What? That's impossible!" Justin said, shaking all over with emotion.
"No, Jus. It's true. Lancy and I both saw it ourselves. Kevin was fucking you, you were stroking Nick."
Justin began sobbing, Lance pulling him into his arms, Justin's nude body trembling against him.
"Oh, God! How could I have done that?? How could I have hurt him like that?? I must have been drunk out of my mind! You have to believe me! I don't remember doing it! I don't remember!"
Justin was sobbing, Josh stroking his nude back, crying beside his friend.
"You don't remember because you were drugged, Jus. Kevin and Nick drugged you. It was against your will, Jus. You weren't in control of anything."
Justin looked at Josh, so wanting to believe what he was saying.
"Yes, Jus. Paulo realized you were drugged and then we figured it all out." Lance said, tears in his eyes.
"Then it's not my fault! I didn't do it! Michael must see the truth now!"
Josh's eyes looked at Lance.
"Michael doesn't know, Jus. He stormed out before we realized the truth. He still thinks that you've cheated on him. "
"No, he can't think that! He must know I wouldn't do that!"
"Can you feel him, Jus? Can you use your connection to find him?" Lance said, hoping against all hope.
"I can't feel him, Lance! He's blocked me from him! He's walked away from me! I've lost him!" Justin sobbed, Lance holding him tight, staring into Josh's tearing eyes.
"Paulo and Jake are looking for him, Jus. They've been out all night. Don't worry, Jus. Paulo will find his brother before anything happens to him."
Justin pulled away from Lance climbing out of bed, wearing only black boxer briefs.
He walked out onto the balcony, staring at the dawning sky.
"Oh God, what have I done!"
Josh and Lance walked out, staring at Justin.
Justin turned, looking at them with tearing eyes.
"Michael said he'd die if I ever hurt him! I've hurt him deeply! Oh God! What if he......"
Justin sobbed, Lance taking his friend into his arms, Justin sobbing on his shoulder, Josh putting his arms around him.
"Paulo will find him, Jus. Nothing is going to happen to our brother."
During The Night
Michael walked along the harbour, the night air blowing against him.
He felt no chill, no feelings of cold.
His mind was on his Justin.
He'd gone running out of Nicholas' apartment building, walking the streets for hours.
Now, he stood looking out at the dark, cold water.
In his mind, his soul felt lost.
The voice was silent, no tremor or noise in that cold soul.
Justin's love was gone.
That feeling he'd felt for so many months was gone.
"Oh, God, Jus! Why?"
Michael sat down on a bench, burying his face in his hands sobbing.
He stayed like that for a few minutes, until he could cry no more.
Then he heard footsteps walking past, then stopping.
Michael looked up, staring at a young man looking at him.
"Are you alright?" The man said, looking at him.
"I'll never be alright. Never again." Michael said quietly, looking down at his hands.
The man was silent, not moving.
"I know the feeling." He said, then continued walking.
Michael heard his footsteps stop a small distance away.
Then Michael heard the splash.
He looked up, seeing the man gone.
His shoes were laying on top of the railing.
Michael got up, running over to the spot.
He looked down into the murky black water, seeing a form in the water.
Michael didn't think twice.
He dove into the water, the coldness of it hitting him instantly, Michael gasping.
Then he emerged out of the water, seeing the man a few feet away.
He swam to him, the man was struggling to stay afloat.
"Give me your hand, I'll pull you to shore!"
"Leave me alone, I want to die! Get away from me!" The man struggled to spit out. Then he dove under the water.
Michael dove forward, swimming down, reaching out into the blackness, grabbing onto the man's jacket.
He then swam upward, breaking out of the water.
The man began fighting with him, Michael having no choice but to hit him back.
The man stopped thrashing, staring at Michael.
"Why'd you do that?"
"I did it to stop you. There's no way in hell I'm letting you drown. Now you can swim back with me easily or you can be pulled back unconscious. It's your choice."
The man stared at him for a few moments, and then began crying.
Michael swam up to him, looking at him in the darkness.
"Hi, my name's Michael." He said softly.
The young man looked at him.
"Trevor." He said quietly.
"Well, Trevor. Much as I like meeting you, I'd prefer not to freeze my balls off. How about we get out of this cold water and then talk?"
Trevor stared into Michael's golden eyes in the darkness, and saw a faint golden light glowing from them.
"Are you an angel? Like Clarence?"
Michael laughed, his teeth chattering.
He remembered the movie scene from "It's A Wonderful Life".
"Yeah, something like that. Come on." Michael extended his hand, Trevor taking it.
Michael pulled him toward shore, the two climbing up onto the bank.
Both lay on their backs panting.
Michael turned his head looking at the young man.
He looked to be around Michael's age, black hair, slim face, slim compact body. Michael couldn't really tell what his face looked like in the darkness.
He saw the man shivering and trembling.
"You live around here close?"
The man nodded, looking at him.
"About a block from here."
"Then let's go to your place and get out of these wet clothes. Or we'll catch pneumonia."
The man sat up, staring out at the water.
"Why did you stop me?"
Michael sat up, looking at him.
"Because life is about living. You still have a life yet to live."
The man sobbed, Michael putting his arm around him.
Kevin and Nick were back at Kevin's apartment, the room in silence.
The dawn sky was shedding its grey light into the room.
Morning was coming soon.
They'd been sitting here on the couch for hours, Kevin finally falling asleep.
He lay across the couch, his head on Nick's lap.
Nick's fingers were in his hair, gently stroking his short soft hair.
Nick's mind was on all that had happened.
The only thing he couldn't really understand was what had happened to him and Kevin after Michael walked in the room.
In a flash Nick felt himself hitting the wall.
Kevin had told him tonight about the party at Justin's, how Michael had thrown him in the pool. And what he'd done after.
Nick and Kevin had talked all about Nicholas and what had happened tonight.
They'd both confessed their gullibility, and how Nicholas had been using them.
Kevin had cried for an hour, finally realizing the truth of Nicholas' lies.
Nicholas was a sexual predator, always after the conquest.
And Michael had been his conquest.
And because of them, he may have won.
Nick teared up, looking down at Kevin's sleeping form.
"I told you tonight that I'd fallen in love with someone, and that I wanted to be with him only. How can I tell you that it's you, Kev? It's you that I love?"
Nick began crying, then sobbing.
Kevin woke up, seeing Nick crying.
He sat up, taking Nick into his arms.
"It's alright, Nick. It's alright."
Nick cried in his arms, feeling Kevin's strong arms around him.
"I'm sorry, Kev! I'm sorry for letting all this happen! I should have stopped him! I should have stopped him from destroying Michael's and Justin's lives!"
Kevin held him, rubbing his back.
"I should've, too, Nick. I should've, too."
They held each other in silence, their bond of pain uniting them.
They both heard the hammering on the apartment door.
They broke contact, Kevin getting up.
He walked to the door, Nick standing up, watching him.
Kevin opened the door.
Standing there was Paulo and Jake.
"Alright. I'm only going to say this once! What the fuck is going on here?? I want to know the truth!! Now!!"
Kevin backed up, feeling Nick put his arm around his shoulders.
"Alright, Paulo. I think it's time the truth was told. Come in." Nick said, both men walking into the room.
Michael rubbed his head with the bath towel, his hair clinging to his scalp.
He'd just stepped out of the shower, the warm water warming him up greatly.
He dried off, pulling on the terrycloth robe that Trevor had given him after Trevor had come out of his shower.
Michael walked out into the small apartment's living room.
The place was cozy, well-lit and so homey.
"This is a beautiful place you have here, Trevor."
"Thanks, Michael." Trevor said, sitting on the couch in a sweatshirt and sweatpants.
He looked up, staring at Michael in shock.
"What's wrong, Trevor?"
"You.... you're Michael Tavarro!"
Michael nodding, just realizing that Trevor hadn't really noticed him before, being in the dark, then coming here and hopping right into the shower.
"Oh, my God! I have Michael Tavarro in my home!"
"No, you have a friend in your home."
Trevor stared at Michael, then began sobbing.
Michael sat down beside him, taking him in his arms.
"Care to talk to a friend?"
"What's the use? You'll just hate me like everyone else!"
"Why does everyone hate you?"
Trevor stood up, walking to the window, staring out into the night.
"Because I'm no good. Because I'm different. Because they take from me then throw me out."
Michael got up, walking up beside the man.
"What was his name, and what did he do to you?"
Trevor turned looking into his golden eyes. He saw friendship in those eyes.
"How did you know it was a man?"
"They say that kindred spirits sense pain in each other. I've felt your pain, Trevor."
Trevor sat back down on the couch, Michael sitting beside him.
"His name was Keith. We'd been together for two years. I trusted him and loved him completely. But it was all a lie. He'd been cheating on me for months. I came home a week ago and found him in bed with my best friend."
Michael felt his own feelings overcome him, thoughts of Justin now pouring into his mind.
With all the turmoil in the last hour or so, he'd put it out of his mind.
"I know the feeling." Michael said quietly.
Trevor looked at him, taking his hand in his.
"I read your book, Michael. I read of your life. You have great courage."
Michael turned, looking at the young man .
His hair had dried, it was black and wavy. All in all the man was beautiful.
"Courage is inside you too, Trevor. I know you have it. You're sitting here. You had the courage to walk away from what you wanted to do.
"Why did he do that to me, Michael? I loved him. I'd done so much for him, helping him through school, working overtime to pay for his tuition. I did it all for him. And as soon as he graduated and got a fantastic job, he dumps me for my bastard of a best friend."
"I'm sorry to hear that, Trevor. You seem like a nice guy. You didn't deserve that kind of treatment from them."
"I worked for Keith's father as his personal assistant. That's how I met Keith. His father fired me yesterday. I now have no job. No means to pay for this place. It's all come to a head. I just couldn't take it anymore. I just felt so empty. That's why I jumped into that water, to fill the emptiness with darkness."
Michael put his arm around Trevor, the young man sobbing into his chest.
Michael began humming, the sound soothing Trevor's soul.
"That never was the answer, Trevor. The answer is courage. Courage to go on, to make your life better again. Life is about never giving up, to always go on, in the hopes of it getting better."
Trevor became lost in Michael's words, feeling a deep conviction in this wonderful man.
Trevor saw the look on Michael's face.
"Is something wrong, Michael?"
Michael began crying, his memory flooded with last night's vision.
"He cheated on me."
Trevor looked shocked, now putting his arm around Michael.
"Care to lean on a friend?"
Michael looked up at him, smiling.
The words poured out of him, Trevor listening to all Michael said.
Michael told him everything, all about Justin and how they'd met. Up until last night's tragic turn of events.
Trevor held him, feeling deep feelings for this lost man.
"I'm sorry, Michael. It just seems so unbelievable. From what you've told me it just seems so unlike Justin."
"I know. I just can't understand that. That's what's tearing me apart. I believed in our love, I finally believed in it. And now it just seems like a dream. Was it ever real?"
Trevor turned Michael's face to his, looking into his soulful golden eyes.
"Yes it was, Michael. And I think it still is. You need to talk to him. You need to hear the truth from him."
"I'm scared, Trevor. I'm scared what that truth might be."
Trevor looked at him, leaning in and kissing his cheek.
"Life is about living, Michael. About having the courage to go on, no matter what life throws at you."
Michael looked down at his hands, staring at the two rings on them.
Faith and love. That was what they symbolized. And now Michael knew he'd lost them.
Michael stared at his hands, a tear running down his cheek.
"You're right, Trev."
Trevor smiled. The first one he's smiled in days.
Michael saw that a smile made his face look so beautiful.
"You're beautiful, Trev. That smile makes you so beautiful."
Trevor blushed, Michael smiling.
"I guess we're a lot alike, Mike. We've both been knocked down. I just don't know if I can get back up."
Michael put his hand on his shoulder.
"You can, Trev. You have me here now. I'll help you in any way I can."
Michael hugged him to him, Trevor feeling Michael's deep friendship.
Trevor yawned, Michael picking up on his tiredness.
"Right now, you need rest. As do I. I feel tired also."
"I think you're right."
"I'll lay down on the couch. You get to bed."
Trevor lowered his head.
"I'm scared, Mike. Would you sleep with me?"
Michael looked into his green eyes, staring at him.
"Alright, Trev. I said I was here for you, so I will."
Trevor smiled, Michael seeing only happiness and friendship in that smile.
Michael helped him up, walking with him, into the bedroom.
Trevor hunted in his drawers, finding Michael a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, Michael taking them.
Trevor shyly pulled off his sweatshirt and sweatpants.
Michael looked at his compact, taut body.
He was slim, smooth and surprisingly muscular.
Trevor slipped into bed, under the covers.
Michael smiled, pulling the shorts on under his robe.
He tossed the t-shirt back on top of the dresser, removing his robe.
Trevor stared at him, seeing the vision of beauty that Michael was.
"You're beautiful, Michael."
"As are you, Trevor."
Michael climbed into the bed, resting back on his back.
"Goodnight, Michael." Trevor said, turning his back to him, shutting off the light.
Michael lay in the darkness, staring at the dark ceiling.
"Oh God, Jus! I can't live without your love!" Michael thought, tears falling down his face.
In the darkness, Trevor felt the bed trembling, turning to see Michael crying.
Within moments the two were hugging each other, Trevor holding him, Michael crying into his smooth chest.
Michael fell asleep, laying against his new friend, Trevor rubbing his back.
"Oh, Michael! I hope to God you find Justin's love again! It's what you deserve!"
The two fell asleep, lost in the darkness, united in a new friendship.
Back To The Next Morning
Lance and Josh guided Justin into the shower, Justin just standing against the shower wall.
They'd never seen their friend so devastated.
Without Michael's love and connection, Justin was only a shell of his former self.
Lance hit the water knobs, the water falling down on Justin's bare chest. He still wore his boxer briefs.
Lance and Josh both looked at each other, Josh nodding.
Lance pulled off his clothes, leaving on his briefs.
Josh did the same.
Both men stepped into the large shower, Justin falling into Josh's open, waiting arms.
He cried against him, while Lance washed Justin's body, the water falling on all three.
Lance tenderly washed Justin, and Josh's body as well.
Both men felt no shame or desire in what was happening.
They were there for their brother, nothing else.
Lance didn't touch his brother in any sexual way. All he wanted to do was get Justin cleaned up and dressed. To Lance, Justin was his brother. As was Michael.
Josh and Lance felt refreshed from the shower, Justin felt nothing, his body numb from feelings.
Justin's tortured mind was on only one thing.
Where are you, Michael? Please come back!
Lance and Josh dried off Justin, guiding him back into the bedroom.
Lance sighed, knowing this would be an emotional day.
Michael awoke, feeling warmth against his face. The room was alight in the light of dawn's waking brightness.
He was laying against a smooth body.
"Justin?" Michael said softly, looking up.
Trevor's green eyes staring at him.
It was Trevor he was laying against.
"I'm sorry, Michael. It only me, Trevor."
Michael sat up, staring at him.
"Good morning, Trevor."
"Good morning, Mike. Are you okay?"
"Yes." Michael said, not very convincingly.
"You thought I was Justin. You were hoping last night was a dream?" Trevor said, putting his hand on Michael's naked shoulder.
"And now I realize it wasn't."
Trevor sat up, hugging Michael to him.
"You know, Mike. I never had a brother. I always hoped that if I did he'd be like you. A kind, caring, loving man. In just one night, I've seen how wonderful you are. Any other man wouldn't have just slept with me last night. Another man would have taken me, used my vulnerability to satisfy his needs. Thank you for being something more."
Michael smiled, looking into Trevor's green eyes.
"I can say the same about you my friend. Thanks for being something more."
Trevor blushed, Michael hugging him.
"Lets get some coffee into us. Then I have to go."
Trevor nodded, getting up out of bed.
Michael saw his briefs were swelled with morning hardness, Michael smirking.
"Well, I see something hasn't given up on life." Michael pointed, looking at Trevor's center.
Trevor looked down, blushing deeply.
"Hey, relax, it's a man's morning ritual." Michael said, climbing out of bed, his own full briefs revealing his morning state.
Trevor stared at Michael's largeness, then started laughing.
"I'll find you some clothes, yours are still probably wet, and the laundry room doesn't open till nine."
Trevor went through his drawers finding some sweat pants and a sweatshirt that fit Michael.
Michael was taller and more sturdy, Trevor being slim and compact.
They dressed together, both men now no longer embarrassed of each other's bodies.
Trevor made coffee, the two sitting at the kitchen table.
"So, you're going to go see Justin?"
"Yes, I have to." Michael said, staring at his coffee cup.
"If it gets too intense, or too emotional, you can come back here. You'll always have a place to stay here, if it's like that."
Michael smiled, finding deep gratification in Trevor's honest feelings.
"Thanks, Trev. And the same goes for me. You'll always have a friend in me."
Trevor smiled, Michael liking his face like this.
"So, how are you doing this morning?"
Trevor sighed, looking at his new friend.
"I did a lot of thinking last night, Mike. You're right. I have to go on with my life. I'm not going to give up. I'll learn from this, and go on. It's going to be hard, but I'll never give up. First things first, I have to find a job. Then one day, maybe I'll learn to trust again."
Michael put his hand on top of Trevor's.
"It takes time, Trev. I'm testimony to that."
"I'm going with you, Mike. I'm not letting you face Justin alone. Besides, you need a ride."
Michael smiled, liking this young man immensely.
"Thanks, Trev. I'd like that."
Both men smiled, Michael sighing.
"If only I could face myself." Michael said in his mind, Trevor watching him.
Lance sat on the couch in the living room, Justin sitting against him, Lance's arm around him.
Josh and Lonnie walked into the room. Josh smiled, seeing his lover being Justin's rock.
"How are you doing, Jus?" Lonnie said sitting down beside him.
"Where is he, Lon? Why won't he let me feel him? Why won't he let me in?"
Lonnie put his hand on Justin's shoulder.
Lonnie felt bad, having taken the night off, Paulo guarding Justin and Michael.
"Paulo's going to find him, Jus. I am sure of that."
Josh sat beside Lance, looking at Justin, seeing how lost he looked.
Josh had dressed him, after Lance had dried him off.
Justin was totally zoned out of existence, lost without Michael's love.
"You said it yourself many times, Jus. When Michael can't deal with something he walks away. He disappears to think things through. He'll come back, when he needs to talk to you, to tell you his feelings." Josh said, rubbing his knee.
"He thinks I've hurt him so much, he thinks I've walked away from our love. Oh God, Michael! Where are you? I'm so lost without you. I just want to hold you in my arms! I need you to forgive me!"
Justin got up walking across the room, sitting down at the piano, tears still in his eyes.
"This is for you my love. Wherever you are."
Justin began playing, the song so moving.
No I can't forget this evening
Or your face as you were leaving,
But I guess that's just the way the story goes
You always smile but in your eyes your sorrow shows
Yes it shows
No I can't forget tomorrorow
When I think of all my sorrows,
When I had you there but then I let you go
And now it's only fair that I should let you know
What you should know
I can't live
If living is without you
I can't live
I can't give any more
If living is without you
I can't give
I can't give any more
Lance looked at Josh, Josh seeing the tears in Lance's eyes.
They didn't notice the man walking into the room. Everyone lost in Justin's moving voice.
No I can't forget this evening
Or your face as you were leaving,
But I guess that's just the way the story goes
You always smile but in your eyes your sorrow shows
Yes it shows
If living is without you
I can't live
I can't give anymore
I can't live
If living is without you
I can't give anymore
(Living is without you)
"Is it so easy to forgive, Jus?"
All four turned, looking in shock, Michael standing in the doorway.
Justin stared into Michael's golden eyes, seeing a deep emptiness there.
Michael walked into the room, Lance and Josh getting up.
Another man walked in behind him.
Lonnie stood up, eyeing the stranger.
Lance and Josh exchanged looks, then walked up to Michael.
"We were so worried, Mikey!" Lance said, crying, hugging his friend.
Michael sighed, hugging Lance back.
Josh hugged him also, after Lance, tears in his eyes as well.
Both men looked at Trevor.
"This is Trevor. I met him last night. He's been with me all night."
Justin watched, staring only at Michael, Michael averting his gaze.
"Hello, Trevor. Nice meeting you." Lance said shaking his hand.
Trevor stood stunned, staring at the three beautiful men in the room.
Three famous singers.
"I..I'm so pleased to meet you Mr. Bass."
Lance smiled, Josh then shaking his hand.
"Hello, Mr. Chasez."
Josh nodded, looking again at Michael.
"We need to explain all this, Mike."
"Save it for later, Josh. I need to say something. Something to Justin."
Lonnie walked up beside Trevor, Trevor looking up at the large black man.
Lonnie shook his hand introducing himself, smiling.
Justin stood up, walking over toward Michael.
Michael walked away from him, walking to the piano, running his fingers along the keys.
He looked at the photos on the top of it. Pictures of their families, and of them together, showing so much love in their faces.
"I'm sorry, Jus. I'm sorry for hitting you."
Justin remained still, looking at Michael.
Josh had told him about Michael slapping him last night.
"It's alright, Mico. You thought I deserved it."
Michael cringed at that name coming from Justin lips.
Michael turned looking into his Justin's blue eyes. Eyes red from crying.
"Why, Jus? Why did you do that to me? Why did you rip our soul in half?"
Michael sobbed, Lance and Josh standing quiet, tears falling down their faces, seeing the deep hurt in Michael's face.
Trevor remained quiet, hearing the pain in Michael's voice.
Lonnie looked on, tears flowing down his cheeks.
Justin walked up to him, not touching him, not sure how Michael would react to that closeness. Justin thought Michael was on the edge, the edge of an emotional meltdown.
"I left that house last night, and I exploded, Jus. I burned the world around me because you ripped out my heart. Luckily no one was close."
Everyone gasped, Trevor having no clue what Michael was talking about.
"And then I blocked you from me, I blocked the world from me. Because I couldn't deal with the betrayal, the betrayal of your love."
Justin sobbed, looking at Michael's tearing eyes.
"I woke up this morning and I couldn't feel you, Mico. I couldn't feel your feelings or your love."
Michael grabbed hold of Justin, staring into his blue eyes.
"Do you want to feel them, Jus? Do you want to know my feelings? Then feel them!"
Michael destroyed the blockade separating their minds.
Justin instantly felt the pain, the pain consuming Michael. the pain of betrayal, of hurt, of having his soul destroyed. Of Michael's feeling it all was his fault. That somehow all this was his doing.
Justin sank to his knees, sobbing, Lance and Josh rushing up to him.
"Michael, stop! You're emotionally destroying him!" Josh said, tears in his eyes.
Michael backed away, staring down at Justin.
"My faith in you, and your love inside me is gone, Jus. It's dead. You killed it last night."
Michael raised his right hand.
Justin looked up, seeing the scar on Michael's right hand.
The scar that represented the pain that Michael had endured from his uncle.
Justin knew in his heart that the scar on his back was probably there as well.
"They're back, Jus. The badges of my pain are back because my faith in you, my trust and love for you, is gone. You erased all my pain, and now you've given it all back."
Michael sat down on the piano bench, his face going into his hands, sobbing.
Justin got up, walking up to him, kneeling in front of him.
"I love you, Michael. With all my heart and soul. You must believe that. Last night wasn't me."
Michael looked up into his blue eyes, seeing Justin's love there. He so wanted to believe him. But he couldn't. Not after what had happened last night.
"How can you say that when I saw you in that bed with them??"
"I didn't, Mico! I was drugged, I was set up!"
Michael face changed to anger.
"Oh come on, Justin! You expect me to believe that! I saw you naked, Kevin Federline fucking you. Nick Carter probably having already done that. I guess I'm not the whore you are. Was I just another fuck for you? Just another dick to fill your needs? You bastard! How could you do that to me?? I loved you! How could you let them fuck you?"
Michael was lost in his anger, in the anger of betrayal. Justin was on his knees in front of him sobbing.
"I can't believe you, Justin! How can I believe you?"
"Because he's telling the truth!"
Michael turned toward the voice.
Paulo stood in the doorway, staring at his brothers.
"Justin is telling you the truth, Michael! And you're going to listen to this!" Paulo said, stepping aside.
Behind him, Nick and Kevin walked into the room, followed closely behind by Jake.
Nick and Kevin both stared at Michael.
Justin got up, his tearing face changing into anger.
"You bastards! You fucking bastards!!" Justin said, running at them.
Lonnie grabbed Justin, holding him back.
"Calm down, Justin! Sit down and be quiet!" Paulo said, his voice full of authority.
Josh and Lance pulled Justin over to the couch, sitting him down.
Paulo walked up to his brother, putting his hand on his shoulder.
"You need to listen, Michael. You need to hear the truth from them."
Michael stood up, walking over to both of the men.
His face was still showing anger.
"Okay, talk." Michael said, Nick putting his hand on Kevin's shoulder.
"Tell him everything, Kev." Nick said, Kevin looking into his caring eyes.
Kevin sighed, then looked Michael straight in the eyes.
"Justin didn't cheat on you, Michael. He was drugged. It was all set up. I put a drug in all his drinks last night. A toxic drug called Rohypnal, also known as the date rape drug.
It totally screwed up Justin's mind, making him totally submissive. Justin didn't know where he was or what he was doing. Then Nick and I led him upstairs and stripped him down, and then climbed into bed with him. We set it all up so you'd walk in seeing us having sex with him. But Justin didn't have sex with us. He thought we were you, he called your name all the time."
In an instant Michael's fury was unleashed.
Everyone stared in shock as both men were thrown across the room, their bodies hanging suspended on the wall, a foot off the ground.
Michael walked up to them, both men seeing the deep anger in his eyes, both men fearing what they saw in those piercing golden eyes.
"Why did you do that? Why did you do that to my Jus?"
Justin was on his feet, in a moment at Michael's side.
"Yes, why? Why did you do that to me? To our love?"
Kevin sobbed, Nick showing terror in his eyes. He couldn't believe what was happening.
Michael's hands went out, both men screaming in pain.
Paulo walked up to Michael, touching his shoulder.
"Stop, Michael. It's not their fault entirely. It's someone else who's behind all this."
Michael stared at Paulo, releasing the two men from their trap.
They both fell to the floor, Michael standing still.
Both men rose up, fear on their faces.
"I want both of you to tell me everything." Michael said, his eyes glowing.
Nicholas drove his car fast through suburban L.A., wearing a large smile.
He tapped his fingers to the beat of the music blaring out of his radio.
Life was good.
He was about to have his greatest desire.
He wasn't surprised when Michael called him about an hour ago.
Nicholas could feel the passion in the man's voice.
Michael had told him that he and Justin were through.
And that he wanted to feel free again, and that he wanted him.
Nicholas adjusted the hardness in his tight leather pants.
"I'm on my way, sexy. Nicholas is going to fuck you all day."
Nicholas drove up to the gated driveway, Jim standing at the gate.
"Hi, Nicholas Gonzalez here to see Michael Tavarro."
"Go ahead in , Michael's alone and expecting you."
Nicholas smiled at that news, gunning his car up the driveway.
He parked, hopping out of his convertible.
He walked up to the front door, adjusting his pants for maximum effect, and running his hands over the tight, silk t-shirt he wore.
His nipples were hard and exposed, his abs and pecks predominant through the thin material.
He was going to drive Michael wild.
He hit the buzzer, the door opening.
Nicholas' eyes widened, seeing the vision of beauty before him.
Michael wore a see through white silk shirt, and tight jeans.
Nicholas looked down at the large basket in the front of Michael's jeans.
"Man, you are so fucking hot looking, Mikey!"
Michael smiled an alluring smile scanning all over Nicholas.
"And you are even more stunning. Come on in."
Nicholas smiled, walking in beside Michael.
Once inside Nicholas took him in his arms, Michael staring into his eyes.
"Are we alone?"
"Yes, Jus is gone. He's staying at Josh's until I decide what I want."
Nicholas smiled, Michael taking his hand, guiding him into the living room.
The two men sat down on the sofa, Nicholas running his hand over Michael's chest.
"You are so fucking beautiful. Let's make love. I want to please you. I'll show you how to forget Justin."
"What about Kevin? And Nick?"
"They were just bodies that I used, nothing more. You are the real thing. In you I see everything I want."
"I talked to Justin. He doesn't remember anything about last night. He must have been totally drunk."
"Yeah, I'd seen him drinking quite a bit."
"I told him I was going to let myself be fucked by the first man that offered his body to me. To teach him a lesson. And then I was going to have that same man fuck him. Justin agreed to it. Would you like that, Nicholas?"
Nicholas couldn't believe his luck.
Nicholas leaned in, kissing Michael passionately, Michael holding in his disgust.
Nicholas was oblivious to his surrounding, and the people walking into the room.
Nicholas opened his eyes, running his hand down Michael's chest, onto his denim-covered groin.
"I want to fuck you, Michael. If you want me to fuck Justin, then I'm game for that. Let's both show him a lesson he won't forget."
"Like you showed me last night?" Another voice said.
Nicholas looked up, seeing Justin standing a few feet away, glaring at him, Paulo standing beside him.
Nicholas then noticed all the other people in the room.
Lance, Josh, Nick, Jake, Lonnie and another stranger.
And standing right beside the couch was Kevin.
Nicholas stood up, backing away, Michael standing up beside Justin now.
Kevin walked up to Nicholas.
"I told them everything, Nicky. All the deceit and treachery you've done. All the hate and hurt you've given me and Nick. You used me, Nicky. You used me like a piece of furniture. I didn't see it until it was too late. Until I almost destroyed another couple's love. How could you, Nicholas?? How could you hurt me like that??"
Nicholas felt really nervous, trying to get out of this situation.
"Come on, Kev. We've had fun. You enjoyed all those men. It was all just fun."
"Fun? I loved you Nicholas! I wanted it to be just you and me! But that wasn't what you wanted! All you've ever wanted was what you could put your dick into! You disgust me, Nicholas! Mostly because I once was the same man that you are now! You made me and Nick feel like whores, when all along you were the whore! I hate you so much! And I pity you. For what you've become. Get away from me, I never want to see you again!!"
Kevin started crying, Nick pulling him into a hug, Kevin crying on his shoulder.
"You're disgusting, Nicholas! I'll never let you or Paul ever hurt me again! Get out of my sight!!" Nick said, staring at the man.
"I guess I'll be going. Sorry it didn't work out, Mikey. "
Michael put his hands out, Nicholas flying against the wall.
He was trapped, trapped in the cocoon of Michael's power.
Justin put his hand on Michael's shoulder, Michael looking into his blue eyes.
Michael's were faintly glowing.
Michael walked up to Nicholas, staring at him, his face showing terror.
"It's not that simple, Nicholas. You've tried to come between me and Justin. And you've hurt Kevin and Nick deeply. I've always seen men like you, men I've despised. Men who think they can control others, use them for their depraved desires. All of us are men, Nicholas. Men who should have been treated with respect. It's time you learned respect. It's time you saw yourself for who you are."
Michael walked up to him, his hands going on both sides of his face.
Michael's eyes glowed bright.
Nicholas screamed, his body shaking.
Everyone stood quiet, knowing what Michael was doing.
In moments Michael broke the connection.
Nicholas fell to the floor, sobbing, crying his heart out.
Michael stared down at him, feeling so much pity.
"You now carry the truth inside you. The truth of what you are. It will feed your soul, feed your mind. And in time, you'll learn to be a man."
Nicholas looked up, tears in his eyes.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
Michael looked at Justin.
"It's too late for that, Nicholas. Get out of our home."
Nicholas got up, Lonnie taking him by the arm, guiding him out of the room.
Michael turned looking at Kevin and Nick.
"It's time you both left also."
Kevin and Nick bowed their heads, turning and walking out of the room.
Nick turned back looking at Michael, Kevin also stopping.
"It's time you told him the truth. It's time he knows your true feelings."
Nick stared at Michael and then looked at Kevin.
Kevin looked into his eyes, seeing fear there.
"I love you, Kevin. I've fallen in love with you."
Kevin stared in shock, Nick still looking into his eyes.
"How can you love me, Nick, when you've seen what I've done?"
Michael walked up to both of them.
"You both are so alike. Both used by someone you thought loved you. Kevin, through all this who was your friend?"
Kevin looked at Nick.
"And all those nights when both of you were used by Nicholas and his friends, who was your anchor, who did you connect to to save yourself from going insane?"
Kevin had tears in his eyes.
"It was you, Nick."
"Yes, Kevin. Through it all I've been your rock, I've been your friend. And to me you've been so much more. I love you, Kev."
"Oh, Nick! I love you too! I just never thought you'd feel like that about me!"
"I do, Kev!"
Nick took him in his arms, kissing him deeply.
Everyone stood quiet seeing the scene play out.
The two friends parted, looking at Michael.
"Thank you, Michael. I know it's hard for you to believe that, but thank you." Nick said, his eyes full of tears.
"I do believe it, Nick. Goodbye."
Kevin looked at Michael, then Justin.
"I'm sorry. I can't take back what I've done. I'll have to live with that, but I just wanted to say that I'm sorry."
Justin walked up to the two men, looking at both of them.
"Right now, I'm still angry with both of you. But maybe in time, I'll forgive you. For now it's goodbye." He said quietly, both men nodding.
They walked out of the room, everyone looking at Michael.
"I sensed their love for each other. Maybe some good can come out of all this." Michael said quietly, staring at Justin.
"If everyone would excuse us, Michael and I need to talk." Justin said, everyone nodding.
Paulo shuffled everyone toward the door.
"Come on Trevor, let's sit down and chat. " Lance said, Trevor smiling at him.
Paulo stopped at the door, looking at his two brothers, standing apart from each other.
"Both of you need to remember something."
Justin and Michael both looked at Paulo.
"I want you both to remember how your love has fed both of your souls. And always remember, love conquers all." Paulo said, walking out, closing the door.
Justin and Michael looked at each other in shock.
"Why does that phrase keep coming up in regards to us, Jus?" Michael finally asked.
"Because the heart and soul of us has always been our love for each other, Michael."
Justin and Michael stared at each other, both nervous and unsure.
Michael looked into his blue eyes, seeing Justin's love there, where it had always been.
"I'm sorry, Jus. I'm sorry for not believing you. For not seeing that you wouldn't ever do that to me."
"I'm sorry for letting it happen. I should have been watching, I should have known what Nicholas was up to. I saw his desire for you, but I knew that I could trust you."
"And I didn't trust you, Jus! I didn't trust you!" Michael sobbed, tears running down his face.
"Oh God! I'm sorry, Jus!"
Justin destroyed the distance between them, taking Michael in his arms.
"Paulo is right, Mico. Our love will conquer all."
Michael sobbed against Justin, Justin feeling the warmth that had been missing against him.
"Oh, Jus! I was so scared, there was so much pain! I'd thought I'd lost your love! That I'd lost you! I thought you'd fallen out of love with me!" Michael sobbed, crying deeply.
"Oh, Mico! I'm sorry they did that to you! They hurt you so deeply! I'm so mad at them for that!"
"I'm sorry I showed you my pain, Jus. I used it to hurt you, like I slapped you last night to hurt you. And I used it to hurt Kevin, Nick and Nicholas. I'm no better than Fredrick! I'm no better!"
Justin pulled away from Michael, staring at him.
"I don't ever want to hear you say that again! You, my love, you are in no way like Fredrick! You are a giving, loving soul! Don't ever compare yourself to that monster!"
Michael stared at Justin, hearing the determination and seriousness in his voice.
And Michael heard something else.
"You called me my love?"
Justin stared at him, lost in Michael's golden eyes. He now saw hope in those eyes.
"You are my love, Mico. Nothing has changed in my eyes. I love you, now and always."
Michael sobbed, Justin pulling him close.
"Oh, Jus! I've been so lost without your love, without you! I've been walking around lost!"
"You're not lost anymore, Mico. My love and I are here for you always."
Michael looked up at Justin, staring into his blue pools of love.
"I love you, Jus. I'll always love you."
Justin leaned down, their lips meeting.
And in their minds, the walls came down.
Justin felt Michael's pain evaporate; overflowing love extinguishing the fires of pain, hurt and doubt.
Justin's love flowed into Michael, healing his soul, filling his heart with happiness.
And Justin felt Michael's love inside him, filling his heart with joy.
"Oh God, Mico! You're back! You're back in my heart and soul!"
"And I'm never leaving again. I love you, Timby."
Justin smiled, Michael seeing and feeling the joy in his lover's heart.
They held each other, feeling the happiness back in their lives.
"So, sweetie, care to fill me in on Trevor?"
End of Chapter 103
And so Nicholas gets his just reward, Kevin and Nick atoning for their part.
And finding love themselves.
In the darkest soul, in the most tragic of moments, always believe in love.
Paulo was the force behind their love uniting.
I wanted him to be the defending soldier of love, the guiding force in uncovering the truth.
That's what a brother would do.
Is Justin worried about Trevor?
Is there more to him than meets the eye?
Up next, some revealing sentiments.
With a few surprises tossed in for flavour.
Like I've always said, keep the faith.