Date: Mon, 11 Dec 2006 21:50:20 -0500 From: Angel J Subject: Justin's Angel-11 This is a sexually explicit story (at times) involving homosexuality. By continuing to read, you affirm under penalties of perjury that you are not a minor or in the company of a minor and are entitled to have access to this story. The following is a fictious story with no real basis or credibility.It is solely for the enjoyment of the reader.Its all just fun. It does not imply anything about the sexual preferences or lifestyle of Justin Timberlake or any other celebrity herein mentioned in the story. Previously Michael got up off the floor, slowly moving towards Justin. Justin's tears were flowing from his eyes, and looking into Michael's eyes Justin thought he saw something. Justin thought he saw a faint look of hope.The dark painful look was gone. Yes, there was definitely something new there. Michael put out his right hand, his scarred hand. Justin put his hand in Michael's.They could both feel the spark again.The spark that somehow connected them. "I'm sorry Justin.I am sorry that you had to see this mess.This mess that is my life." Michael's words touched Justin's soul. "Michael,your life is not a mess.Through it all you had the courage to go on.To make something of yourself,to be true to yourself,and continue on with life.To live life after living so much pain. I don't know if I could ever have the courage that you possess.To have that kind of faith,with all that you have suffered,is beyond remarkable. Your grandmother is right,Mikey.Your not to blame for any of what happened.That was your parents blame.They didn't realize what you needed, and what you were:a loving child, a caring,remarkable,intelligent,sweet,beautiful young man." Michael slowly smiled, a smile that suited his face, making him look charming,with a hint of sexuality in it. Justin was in awe, this man was so unbelieveable.After all he had gone through,he still was determined to go on with life. Justin could see it in his eyes. Michael looked at Justin, feeling a sense of hope. This man isn't afraid of me, he's not looking at me with loathing.He doesn't hate me.He's still here for me. Can I dare hope to feel more for him, more than just friendship. I feel a difference inside myself, I feel like some weight is lifted on my heart.I feel that I need him,that I want him to need me. Justin pulled Michael slowly toward him, never breaking their gaze. In a moment they were holding each other,not a desperate hug but an embrace of faith. Faith that they can go forward together, needing each other. Michael looked up into Justin's blue eyes, and saw Justin looking deeply into his eyes. Within a few seconds their lips met. They connected in a kiss of hopeful beginnings. Chapter 11 Everyone remained silent watching the two young men kiss, Vicky thought it was the most tender moment she had seen.She knew how much this must mean to Justin, that Michael had started to trust him,that Michael needed him. And more importantly it meant so much more to Michael. Nana got up off the sofa and stood beside Vicky,who put her arm around her. Nana spoke softly to Vicky. "After all I have heard and seen here today, this is the most beautiful thing yet.In the midst of such hurt and sorrow, love shines through." Vicky looked at Nana,agreeing with her completely. Steve and Lonnie were smiling also, happy that something positive had come out of all this chaos. This seemed like what both men needed,someone to hold onto them, someone to need. They remained silent, watching the two lost in each other. Justin and Michael were oblivious to everything going on around them. They were fighting their own emotions of an even deeper level. Justin continued to hold Michael,his lips tasting his essence. Justin was totally caught of balance by what he was feeling.Never in his life had he experience something like this. When Michael's lips met his he felt his heart come alive. This kiss was so different from their first.This kiss felt like it was coming from Michael with desperation. As if Michael was trying to become a part of him. It was as if everything he had ever experienced in his life before was meaningless. He couldn't understand what these new sensations were.It was as if he had connected completely with Michael. He could sense everything Michael had ever felt in his life.All his pain, all his sorrow.Every heart aching moment of his life.Justin was overwhelmed.So much pain,so much hurt.How could he have survived all that. Then he felt himself descending deep into Michael,as if he was entering Michael's inner being.Here in this small place, almost hidden from the world,Justin found something he couldn't believe. Something that began to overwhelm him. Something that he had secretly hoped was there. Justin found Michael's love,hidden deep withing his soul. And the love that Justin experienced, the feeling of bliss at just barely touching that hidden part of Michael, made Justin wish for a endless lifetime with him. His love, his hidden love was breathtaking. For Justin to hope that Michael could ever give that to him, made his resolve harden. I will be here for you all my life, Michael, until you can give that love freely. Michael's emotions had become a roller coaster ride. His deep secrets had been uncovered. He felt naked to the world, exposed for everyone to see. His past had been revealed and what he expected to happen, didn't. His greatest fear had always been that they would hate him. But all they were showing him was love. His heart felt such relief,he couldn't put into words how he felt.He was speechless. But for a terrifying moment his fear had returned. When Justin backed away from him when he whispered those three words. That had terrified Michael. His heart had nearly broken when he saw that. He had thought that Justin was disgusted with him.For what he had let happen. For his letting that animal touch him. His father had been right.He was a whore. But then all of a sudden Justin was back again,he was there holding him again,helping him release his pain. Michael couldn't comprehend why Justin came back.Why was he trying to help him? Why did he want to have anything to do with him? Did Justin see him for what he was.A worthless piece of trash,to be used.Did Justin want to use him like that. Was it just about sex? Michael feared that most, being used again.Being thrown away. They didn't know about Paul, that was his greatest fear.That showed Michael at his worst. When Michael had finally confessed about his mother's death, he couldn't look Justin in the eye. He couldn't bring himself to see hate in those eyes. Thats why he broke down, confessing his guilt.He felt he needed to confess,to rid his soul, to make Justin forgive him. Then Nana had said such soothing words, such loving words.Michael's heart felt different. Then she had made him face Justin. That had been the hardest thing for him to do.He was so scared of what he would see in Justin's eyes. He weakly apologized to him for exposing his mess, his life to him. Justin had linked hands with him, and Michael felt that spark again.That feeling of being anchored together. Justin had drawn him close again, hugging him. Michael was stunned. He still liked him,he still wanted to be there for him. Then Michael had looked into his eyes. So deep was the blue, the bluest pools of heaven.They consumed Michael. Then their lips met. Michael was lost again.But this place was a place where Michael wanted to be lost. He couldn't full understand what this place was, what it meant,but he felt it was his heaven. Both of them broke the kiss at the same time. They eyes opened and they stared into each other's soul. Michael broke the gaze first, his head falling onto Justin's shoulder. Justin's arms tightened around him. Michael felt drained.Everything that had happened,everything that had changed his life, had emotionally drained him. Justin sensed it, knowing Michael needed some rest. He led him slowly over to the sofa, where they sank down together.He put his arm around Michael, letting his head remain on his chest. Michael closed his eyes, a trembling sigh escaping his lips. Justin smiled,this felt so natural. He looked up at everyone and was greeting by four smiles. "Its been an emotional evening.We all need to relax."Vicky said, still smiling. "I will make you another cup of tea,Nana."Lonnie said,turning to head into the kitchen area. "Lets all join you, Lonnie.These two need some time alone."Nana said, smiling at Justin. They all walked into the kitchen,leaving Justin and Michael on the sofa. Michael slowly lifted his head up off Justin's chest.He looked Justin in the eyes again. Such a deep blue, I could look into those forever,Michael thought. "Jus, I want you to be honest with me? How do you really feel about what I have told you?About me?" Justin liked that about Michael, he was always direct.He always wanted truth. "All right Mikey.I will be honest." Justin sat up straight,facing Michael.He took both Michael's hands in his own,looking him directly in his eyes. "What I felt most was anger.Not directed at you, but at your father.How could he have done that to you.How could he have hurt you so much.If I ever see that man, he will never walk again." Justin's face had changed, Michael saw a deep anger rising.Michael couldn't believe Justin felt that protective of him. Michael brought his hand up to Justin's face, his skin felt so smooth. Justin's anger dissappeared the instant Michael caressed his cheek. "I also felt the anger dissappear when I say your pain.I feel that I need to protect you, Michael.I need you to need me.I need you to always want me there, to be there for you.I know I have said it before,but now I know in my heart that I love you, Michael." Michael looked at Justin.Justin continued. "When we just kissed,it was different Michael.Different from our first kiss. I felt that my soul had connected with you,I felt all your pain,all your sorrow.And I also felt your true self,Michael.I know its there,buried deep,I want to have the chance to dig that out.To expose it, to expose it so I can see you,the real you.Your love is the greatest treasure I hope to discover.The day you say you love me ,will be the day I am totally complete." Justin looked at Michael. "I just can't say those words,Justin.I can't do that.I have been hurt too much.I am so scared to say those words, to truly mean them.I hope you can understand that." Michael looked unsure of Justin's reaction to that. Justin put his arm around him again. "I understand Michael.I am not saying you have to love me this minute.I know how hard this will be for you.But all I am asking is that you give us a chance." Michael shyly smiled."I already agreed to that Justin." Justin smiled back."Good, then we go on from here, together,right?" Michael nodded,surpressing a small yawn. "Your still struggling with your illness,and you must be exhaused.Lay down here Michael,put your head in my lap." Michael hesitantly lay down on his back putting his head in Justin's lap.He looked up at Justin's smiling face. Justin's hand found Michael's hair and his fingers lightly stroked his soft hair. Michael looked up at Justin,feeling the need to say something more. This man could make him talk about his feeling, like no one ever had. "I was scared Justin, I was so scared you would hate me.After you discovered what I went through." Michael turned his head slightly, not wanted to let Justin see him keeping his emotions in check. Justin wrapped his arm around Michael's chest,bringing a new intimacy to their bodies. Michael rubbed his hand along Justin's strong arm,the hair on it felt so soft and beautiful.His arms were toned and muscular,one of his most appealing features.Their strength made Michael feel safe. "When you are with me Michael, you will always be safe in my arms.You will have no reason to be scared.I would never turn from you.I know you got scared when I backed away from you earlier,I saw it on your face and in your eyes. It was just I was so shocked by what you said, I didn't mean to scare you." Michael looked back at Justin,and Justin leaned down lightly kissing him on the lips. "Forgive me?"Justin's famous pout coming on his face. Michael started to relax, a faint smile on his lips. "Your forgiven." Justin smiled an even more famous grin. Michael turned his head again.He was silent for a few minutes.Justin continued to stroke his hair. Justin had assumed he had closed his eyes to sleep. "Thank you Justin."Michael said quietly. "For what, babe?" Michael turned back,looking again into Justin's eyes. "For being here for me.....and for wanting to love me." Then Michael closed his eyes, snuggling up against Justin's stomach. Justin just stared down at his beautiful face, a tear rolling down his cheek. "Your welcome,babe.Its an easy thing to do." Michael smiled again,not opening his eyes,and slowly fell into a deep sleep. Justin just sat there for a while, just staring at Michael's sleeping form,feeling him close to him.Feeling his body against him. Please find your inner self,Michael.I need that love so much.I need you so much. Nana and Vicky walked into the room gazing on the site before them. Justin looked up sensing their presence. "He's sleeping again,it didn't take long."Justin said quietly,his fingers continuing their gentle caress.Michael didn't move. Nana walked over towards them, sitting down in the chair beside the sofa. "We need to talk Justin, we need to clear up a few things.You can let Michael slept so we can talk in private in the kitchen." Justin knew that they had to discuss everything that had happened in the last few hours.Justin had some things he needed to get off his chest also. He gently raised Michael's head, moving himself up from underneath him, placing a pillow under his head.Michael murmured a little but didn't move around much.He was in a sound sleep. Justin took a loving look at Michael, making sure he was okay, before walking with Vicky and Nana into the kitchen area. He said down on the nearest chair at the table, the one that faced the doorway, he could see Michael asleep on the sofa. He needed to be able to see him,in case he woke. And just to be able to watch him. Nana and Vicky picked up on that right away. "Where are Steve and Lonnie?" Justin asked. "They have run down to Vito's to pick up some take out for us for supper."Vicky said,looking warmly at Justin. "I want to thank you Justin,for being Michael's rock today."Nana said, sincerely. Justin looked at her,smiling. "I believe with all my heart I couldn't of been anywhere else.He needed me.I needed to be there for him,and I was."Justin said directly at both of them. Nana smiled, a tired smile. "So much came out today Justin, so much pain and hurt.I don't believe any of us realized how bad it had been for him,for my special angel." "I agree, I knew he had been hurt, but such physical and emotional hurt, I never would of believed it, if he hadn't confessed it." Justin said, Vicky thinking almost the same thing. "You made him confess,Justin.He told everything, I believe, because you drew it out of him.You have a special ability to draw Michael's emotions out,thats why I believe you will always be there for him." Vicky smiled again. Justin smiled back.BUt he was here for some answers,albeit hard ones. "What really happened with his mother, Nana?" Nana took a deep sigh. "She killed herself,Justin." A tear had escaped her eye,and was trailing down her cheek. "That night before she walked into Mico's bedroom, she took enough pills to make sure she didn't wake up.The police told me her system had enough drugs in it to kill her fairly quickly." Justin looked again at Michael, asleep on the couch. Justin then looked at Nana, her face was emotional, he had forgotten how much this must be affecting her also. He could only imagine her pain, the loss of a mother. "Can I tell you something, something that I believe." Nana nodded, looking at Justin. "Michael blames himself for what she did, and I believe you blame yourself for what she did to him." Nana tensed a little, realizing that Justin had hit the mark. "I think its time to stop blaming yourselves.You have each other to love,let her rest in peace." She looked over at Justin, he was trying to make her accept her loss. "Your daughter was lost, she was alone.She wasn't herself. She couldn't deal with what was happening to her. For whatever reason she felt she couldn't go on with her life. It was her decision,albeit a bad one. We can't change that, its happened. But I want you to remember something.Something I realized when Michael was telling us what happened. She spent the day with him.With him. Why? If you search your heart, I think you will know why." Nana couldn't understand what Justin was getting at. Justin put his hands in her's. "She loved him,Nana.She loved her son." A new realization started forming in Nana's mind. "I believe that she had accepted what she was going to do, and that the one thing she regretted was that she would hurt Michael by doing it." Nana's tears were flowing. "She spent the day with the one person she loved the most,the one person she hated to leave.So she decided that when she left this earth,he would be there, in her arms, to guide her to that final peace." Justin got up from the table and wrapped his arms around her, she finally broke down,in his arms. "My baby, she was my baby." Justin held onto her, letting her release her own pain.Vicky got up and held onto her also. She cried for a few minutes, letting her own pain escape.She pulled back from his strong arms. "That was beautiful, Justin.I had never thought about it that way.I had never seen it from her eyes.Always I dwelled on the living,on Mico, not on my own special child,my misguided,lost,daughter.Thank you for letting me finally see that." Nana hugged Justin to her again,knowing this was a special man. Justin was concerned about what he had to say next. "Nana, Michael needs help.I know he has our love,our support,but he needs more.He needs to come to grips with his own emotions and feelings.And he needs professional help for that.There are a lot of deeper issues he needs to deal with.He needs help that we can't give him.I think there is another terrible secret in Michael's past, I can feel it." Nana nodded quietly,searching Justin's eyes for a hint of what that might be. "Something happened to him with Paul.Something that hurt him deeply again,something that has made him scared.I don't know what that is, he hasn't been able to let that door open yet.Until it does ,he can't be fully healed.I won't pressure him, he needs to deal with this himself.But I believe he needs help to come to terms with those feelings." Nana continued to admire this young man, this wonderful,ensightful,caring man. "I have a friend, her name is Dr.Anna Clark,Steve and I went to school with her.You remember her Vic, Anna Baxter." "Oh yeah, she works here in Chicago, she's an expert therapist, deals with high profile celebrities.I hear she's really good." "Yes, Lance went to her, when he was dealing with all his hidden problems.She helped him come to terms with all his demons.I think she can really help Michael,if you feel he needs that help?" Justin looked at Nana , then at Vicky. "Your right, Justin, he does need help, more than we alone can give.If you trust this person, then we will accept that." Nana said, holding Justin's hand again. "But the only person who needs to be convinced,is Mico.But I think you can convince him.I believe you can get him to do anything, his trust is there with you."Nana hugged Justin,just as Steve and Lonnie walked into the kitchen with bags of food for their dinner. "Vito wouldn't take anything for all this." Lonnie shook his head in wonder."When he heard who it was for, he insisted that Michael deserved it, no fee for a friend's welfare,as he put it." Justin smiled,Vito sounded like he cared deeply for Michael too. "He want to meet you,Justin.We told him how you looked after him, and got him feeling better." Steve smiled. Justin blushed a little,hating everyone thinking his some kind of miracle worker with Michael.To Justin all it took was his love. "Let's eat while its still hot.Let Michael sleep for an hour or so, then we will let him get some food into him.He will feel better after that."Nana said getting up and starting to set the table. "You relax Nana,"Justin said guiding her back to her seat."We men will get this all set up." Nana and Vicky sat while the guys got everything in place. Then they all sat down at the table. Nana bowed her head,everyone waiting for her to say grace. "Lord, we are here again, your humble children. We sit here and give thanks for all you have given us, your bounty plentiful as always. Take us to your heart,lord.Make us love one another,giving us your shining love,and keep our loved ones safe. Watch over those here today,those we love and those who have gone ahead of us. We keep them safe in our hearts as you keep them safe with you. We cherish their memories, and we cherish your love. Watch over us,and keep us safe. Amen." "Amen." Everyone replied,some tears visible in moist eyes. They all settled into a wonderful feast of Italian cuisine.They hadn't realized how truly hungry they were. After they had filled their stomachs and Nana had made up a plate for Michael, she excused herself, saying she wanted to go to her room to lay down for a while.asking them to come and get her up in an hour or so . Steve and Lonnie cleaned up as Justin and Vicky retired into the living room. Michael was still sound asleep on the couch,his breathing relaxed and easy.Justin sat down on the floor beside the couch, his head resting beside Michael's.Michael stirred a little,almost sensing Justin was near. Vicky looked at Justin and his concern for Michael. "So where do you go from here.I know when this week ends and you go back to L.A. Michael will be alone again.Plus you have a tour coming up, that will take you away from him even more.How are you going to make this work,Justin?" Justin took a long look at Michael, watching his breathing,looking at his beautiful face. He brought his hand up ,gently rubbing his finger along his cheekbone. "I have never met anyone like him.Anyone with so much courage,so much heart.He is unbelieveable.I don't know what it is but there is something so different about him,something unique,that makes him special." Vicky knew what Justin was talking about.Michael was one of a kind. "I am going to make this work,Vic.I have to,I need him.Michael has become very special to me.We can handle anything that comes, I believe.To me its worth the effort, and Michael will see that too." Justin was looking at Michael again. Vicky could see that Justin was serious about his feelings towards Michael,that he would move heaven and earth to keep Michael happy.And she believed that Michael and Justin both needed each other to be truly happy. Michael stirred on the couch, his head now touching Justin's.Justin turned again,looking into Michael's face. His eyes opened slowly looking into Justin's. "Hey,babe.You feeling better?"Justin asked never moving his gaze. Michael smiled a small smile. "How long have I been out?" "About an hour and a half, maybe a litte more." Michael slowly got up,stretching his arms over his head and yawning a big yawn.JUstin got up off the floor,sitting down beside Michael on the sofa. "I feel much better, don't feel so drained." "Thats great, your looking a lot better."Vicky said smiling at him. "Up to some grub,Mikey?" Justin said smiling at him. "I could use it,I actually feel hungry." Justin walked Michael into the kitchen, where he sat down at the table.Lonnie and Steve giving him a quick hug. Justin pulled the plate of food out of the fridge and popped it into the microwave. He brought Michael a glass of orange juice and two more pills. Michael swallowed the pills without any fuss,taking a drink of juice. Justin tusseled his hair, making Michael smile.Justin so cared about him. "So feeling better, Mike?" Lonnie asked. "Yeah, I feel more relaxed,the headache is completely gone,and I don't feel so hot." Justin put his hand on Michael's forehead,his temperature felt normal. "Looks like your getting back to normal,babe." Michael smiled as Justin put the food in front of him. "Compliments of Vito." Lonnie smiled. Michael slowly started eating,savouring Vito's italian cuisine.He loved Vito's cooking,he was a great chef.And a great friend. Within minutes he had emptied the plate,his appetite had returned. "Now for desert.I have something sweet for you."Justin smiled devilishly. He leaned in slowly, kissing Michael on the lips.Their bodies sparked as the touch became intoxicating. Michael got lost in that place again. The kiss lasted a few moments until they pulled back from each other. Michael had a lost expression on his face while he opened his eyes. "Wow,how can something so sugary be low fat." He smiled. Lonnie and Steve started laughing. Justin blushed,his cheeks taking on a red hue. Vicky walked into the room. "Whats so funny?" "Justin is trying to fatten Michael up."Steve said, a serious look on his face.It didn't last long. Everyone started laughing again, Justin getting redder in the face. Vicky just shook her head.Men and their twisted sense of humor. Michael sighed at Justin's predicament.To think that he had kissed him again,made Michael smile. "Leave Justin alone, he's only trying to make me happy." Michael said ,defending Justin. Justin smiled back, his embarrassment forgotten. Michael was trying to protect him now. Michael smiled at him, sensing his needs. Justin smiled back,then his face took on a concerned look. "Mikey, we have to talk about something."Justin said. Vicky sensing they needed some privacy, so she ushered the other men into the living room,leaving Michael and Justin alone. Justin took Michael's hands in his own and looked him in the eyes. "Babe, I need to talk to you about where we go from here.You have taken a big step here today. We all care about you, we are all glad that you have opened yourself up to us. But we are all still worried about you." Michael sensed Justin was leading this discussion somewhere. "You need help Michael,you need professional help to deal with all this.I know someone,she is a good friend.She's a really good therapist,she can help you sort this all out,help you deal with your fears and issues." Michael pulled his hands out of Justin's.He stood up backing away from him. "You think I'm crazy!"Michael voice raised,he couldn't believe Justin was saying this. You think I need help?"He was yelling now. "I survived all my life without help,what makes you think I need yours." Vicky and Steve rushed into the kitchen,Lonnie behind them. Michael stared at them, anger evident on his face. "I thought you were my friends,but you think I'm nuts?" Justin was standing now, fear and concern showing in his features. "We are your friends,Mikey, and we don't think any such thing."He was slowly edging towards Michael. "Then why would I need a shrink, I told you what you wanted to know, what else is there to say." Michael's defenses were going back up. Justin was trying to calm him again,without much luck. "Leave me alone, Justin.I don't need your help." Michael stared at him,no emotion on his face. Michael turned and started heading towards the doorway. Justin grabbed his arm trying to stop him. Michael cringed.His face changed immediately,a look of terror on it. "Please don't hurt me,please let me go." Justin let go immediately,stunned. "I would never hurt you ,Michael,never." Michael looked at Justin, a touch of fear and hurt evident in his brown eyes. "Thats what they all told me,Justin,but it always ends the same." Michael turned, and walked out of the kitchen, then heading into the bedroom,closing the door behind him. End of Chapter 11. Some final truths have come out.Hope this answers the question about his mom's death. Looks like Michael has a ways to go yet. And Justin still wants to be beside him, helping him. Coming up-Lance will make a brief appearance. More to come,keep reading. Keep the faith. Angel P.S. Did you see the Grammy nods! Way to go,Justin!!!! Best of luck!