Date: Sun, 26 Nov 2006 10:03:11 -0500 From: Angel J Subject: Justin's Angel-6 This is a sexually explicit story (at times) involving homosexuality. By continuing to read, you affirm under penalties of perjury that you are not a minor or in the company of a minor and are entitled to have access to this story. The following is a fictious story with no real basis or credibility.It is solely for the enjoyment of the reader.Its all just fun. It does not imply anything about the sexual preferences or lifestyle of Justin Timberlake or any other celebrity herein mentioned in the story. Previously Justin smiled at Michael. Michael started rubbing his head again.Justin knew the headache was back. "Lie back Michael,and I will rub your head again." Michael lay back against Justin, and Justin started massaging his temples again. "She has been my mom, she always took care of me when I was sick.You'd like her Justin, she is funny and outgoing.A real charmer.Its the greek in her." "She's greek?Wow,cool." "Yes my mom was greek." "And your dad?" Justin felt Michael tense up.He didn't say anything for a moment. "He was spanish, he was born in Spain." "Are his parents alive? Maybe you have grandparents in Spain." "NO, he told me when I was young that they had both died before I was born." "I am so sorry Michael, it must of been sad growing up without parents, so alone." Michael pushed himself up. There were the feelings of pity, I knew thats all he felt for me,Michael thought. Justin could see Michael steeling himself again in his eyes. "Don't sweat it,Justin, I survived, look at me now."Michael's voice was starting to raise. He pushed Justin's hands away from him. "Look at the pie ce of work you see in front of you." "Bet it makes you feel like your accomplished something good today. You have done your good deed,Justin.You made the charity case feel wanted.You can go on with your great life. Everyone here is proud of you. Well done." Michael got up and headed into the bedroom , slamming the door behind him. Chapter 6 Everyone stared at Michael until he dissappeared into the bedroom. Justin hung his head. What had he said to hurt Michael?How could he have fucked this up! Tears started forming in his eyes. He stood up and walked out onto the terrace shutting the door behind him. "What the hell just happened?"Lonnie and Steve said almost simutaneously. They stared at each other for a few moments, then silence enveloped the room. You poor guy,why does Michael have to act like this, why can't he open himself up to someone. Vicky was staring at Justin standing out on the terrace in the cold air. She had to find a way to fix this, to get Michael to take a chance. "Steve, go out and talk to Justin, take him a coat too,it must be freezing out there.I am going to talk to Mikey." Steve got up ,heading to the coat rack where he grabbed Justin's jacket and then proceeded to walk out onto the terrace. Vicky got up and walked over to the bedroom.She opened the door slowly,not bothering to knock and then went inside. Michael was standing looking out the bedroom window at the cloudy november sky.Thoughts were passing through his mind. Why does he have to pity me. He's so charismatic,caring and beautiful. Why wouldn't he pity you, look at you.You have no friends ,no family, your a loner. Why can't he care about my feelings.Thats all I want, someone to care about me.Someone I can honestly depend on. What makes me so unlovable. Its you.Its always been you. I am a magnet for hate and punishment. He will do what everyone else has done in the past, pretend to care then hurt you.Its only what you deserve. I don't want to believe that, I don't want to believe that about Justin. I would give everything just to have him love me. When I look at him ,I see everything I have ever searched for. I almost believe that he has the same feelings.Could I actually dare to dream that he does? But you have never been right before. Michael absentmindedly rubbed his right hand.He looked down at the scar there.The pain and suffering had all begun with that scar. A stupid mistake on his part that had cost him his father's love. FLASHBACK Michael ran into the house after school,throwing his books on the kitchen table.He kissed his mother on the cheek and began pulling the cookie jar down off the counter for a quick snack. His father was sitting at the end of the table smoking a cigarette, reading the evening paper. His dad worked as a janitor ,30 hours a week in a school, and 25 hours a night at a bank. "How ya doing Micky boy!"His dad's pet name for him. In the first eight years of Michael's nine years of life, his father had been his best pal.His hero,and idol. Michael had loved his dad so much.He had been so happy just to be able to spend time with him. His father even let him tag along to work with him some evenings, and Michael loved that time the most.Just him and his dad together alone. But the last year had been a living hell.His father got angry with him for the least little thing.He punished him for minor things, but they hadn't been that bad.Michael made himself believed that he deserved punishment.But not the beating he'd received at the start of the year.Michael couldn't remember much of it, only that he woke up in a hospital.His father had told the doctors that Michael had fallen down a flight of stairs. And his mother had backed him up.That had been the end of it.Michael returned home with his parents after being in a coma for almost 2 weeks. it was after that accident that Michael found out about his special abilities. But since then his father had been silent mostly around him, almost avoiding him. "Doing super, Dad. Got an A+ on a story I wrote for english."Michael smiled at his father. His dad's brows deepened."You shouldn't get to excited about shit like that Micky, writing won't get you anywhere.Its sports that will earn you the money.You keep up with your baseball and basketball, it will make you into something." Michael's father didn't hold much with school, he hadn't finished himself. He always thought that life was to be earned doing trade work or being a sports hero. But Michael, wasn't much good at either.He was clumsy,awkward.His baseball coach said he had two left arms, and his basketball coach said he was too short,too clumsy.And whenever Michael helped his father with some work, he usually got hurt or made some mistake. Lately Michael's father's moods had been changing.He got angry quicker, he didn't smile as often.Michael picked up on it usually and knew when not to bother his dad. There had been late night arguments between his mother and father.Followed by nights of hot passion between them, although Michael didn't understand what they were doing.He could hear the sounds through his wall.What Michael didn't know was that it wasn't consentual. "But geez dad, I never got an A+ before, its great.I was the best in the class."Michael was smiling. His father didn't answer him, he just looked at him.Michael knew that look.It meant he wasn't finding Michael's words amusing. Michael quieted down immediately.He knew he wouldn't be going out with him tonight, and he was glad. Michael had begun to be terrified of his father.He couldn't understand why , it was just a feeling he had. "I am off to the Nelsons to watch their son while they go to a movie."His mother said, kissing Michael on the top of the head."You stay quiet tonight and don't go out.Your dad is here till 6 then he goes to work.Lock the door after he leaves and don't go out." Lately Michael had been left alone, his parents thought he was old enough to be unsupervised.Michael didn't have as much faith.Michael was scared all alone in the house. His mother walked out the back door and continued walking down the street. Michael's father sat there staring at Michael.Michael felt very uncomfortable.His nerves were on edge.What could he say to him.What could he talk about. I know.Maybe baseball.I just read that story in the papers about the Yankee's. Michael moved towards his father, his mouth opening to say something, when his elbow grazed the cookie jar which was on the edge of the counter. The jar fell before Michael could even react.It shattered all over the floor, glass and cookies going everywhere. "Jesus Christ,Micky.You clumsy fuck."Michael's dad was out of his chair in a shot.He walked up to Michael and back-handed him across the face.Michael staggered back falling to the floor.He lay there in a daze not realizing what had happened. "Do you realize that that jar was your mom's favorite.No you didn't did you.Your so fucking clumsy and stupid.You don't watch where your going.Well, its about time I taught you something." He bent down and grabbed Michael, pulling him up by the arm.Michael staggered to his feet, blood was coming out of his nose, it wasn't broken but it felt numb. He couldn't do anything , he was stunned. His father pulled him over to the table , throwing him down in a chair. He picked up his pack of cigarettes , lighting one then putting them down.He pulled his chair up beside Michael and looked him in the eyes. "I am going to tell you something, Micky. You have been a great dissappointment to me ,Michael. Your clumsy, awkward, spoiled, a nerd,you have no friends.What the hell did I ever deserve to have a son like you." Michael couldn't believe what he was hearing, he had always thought his father loved him.He had always loved him with all his heart. Michael couldn't believe it.The tears were building in his eyes. "Yeah , here come the tears, a regular baby I have here."His father looked at him with a look of pure loathing. Michael was horrified. "I think its time you learned a valuable lesson, Micky. Life is hard.Your going to have a lot of misery and hurt in your miserable life.And then your going to die. Well its time for some of the hurt." Before Michael could do anything his father pulled his right hand down flat on the table and in one movement he brought his lit cigarette down on top of his hand. Michael screamed in excruciating pain, it was as if every sense in his body was focus on that one area.It was torture. Michael passed out. When he awoke an hour later his father was gone and he was laying on the kitchen floor where his father had left him. His hand felt like it was on fire,the pain almost unbearable.Michael climbed slowly onto his feet and staggered to the kitchen sink.He put his damaged hand under the faucet and let the cold water cool the pain.He stayed there for hours and just cried and cried. He was alone in the house,and Michael realized the truth.He was alone in every part of his life. All the love he though he had was gone. Present Michael stared out the window, the tears flowing down his cheeks. He heard the bedroom door slowly opening. God, please don't let it be Justin. No one talked ,but soon he felt a familiar hand on his shoulder.He turned slowly around and fell into Vicky's waiting arms. She hugged him while he cried, tears wetting her tshirt. "Whats wrong Mikey, I thought everything was going so well?"Vicky rubbed his back while she guided him down onto the bed. "Can't you see Vicky, Justin only pities me, he doesn't like me for me.You heard him,"Oh , it must of been so sad growing up without parents,poor little Mikey,all alone.",thats what he said." "Well,I don't need his pity, I don't need his lies.I have you and thats enough."Michael turned his head and looked at vicky. "Mikey, your wrong." Michael searched her face for any deception.There was none, she looked back at him as the friend she always had been. "Your totally wrong about him, Mikey.Justin doesn't pity you any more than any of us do.He is only concerned because he wants to know about your life,about what has hurt you so badly, what has gotten you all closed off inside. We have all tried to talk to you about this before. But I have never seen you react this way before.Whats going on?" Michael lowered his head, Vicky waited for him to open up. "I'm scared Vicky." "Of who? Justin?" "No.Never Justin."Michael said with feeling in his voice. "I'm scared of what it means for me to like him.I am having all these mixed up feelings going through my mind.I think I might fall for him as more than a friend." "And that scares the living hell out of me." "I don't want to be hurt again,especially by him.That would hurt even more.And I know he's not gay, and when he finds out I am , he will turn away from me."Michael sank back onto the bed, curling up into a fetal positon. Vicky wanted so badly to shake Michael,to make him see what was there. He was being so thickheaded. He couldn't even see the way Justin was reacting when he was around him. If he opened his eyes he would see that Justin was attracted to him in the same way.As more than a friend. "What if he were gay Michael, could you let your boundaries down and let him in." Michael looked up at Vicky. "I don't know Vic, I was hurt so badly by Paul.He hurt me to my very soul." This was the first time that vicky had heard Michael use his name,Zach had told Vicky about Paul,Michael's first and only boyfriend.He had hurt Michael somehow, hurt him deeply.So deeply that Michael hadn't moved on to someone else. For almost 7 years Michael had had no one special in his life.All because of one man. Vicky wanted to hurt Paul as much as he had apparently hurt Michael. "Its been a long time since he left you Michael,whatever he did to you , you have to let it go, so you can go on with your life." "Its not that easy Vic, you don't know the depth of what he did to me,physically and emotionally." This was the first Vicky had heard about this.Had Paul physically hurt Michael, had he hurt him that much? Vicky's anger was starting to boil. But one look at Michael, and all the anger dissappeared.He needed comfort more than anger.Paul could wait. She rubbed his back ,comforting him, trying to think what to say so he could find comfort. Her eyes came to rest on a book,lying on the nightstand beside the bed.She looked at it and realized it was Michael's novel. Of course, I know what he needs. Words to live by. His own words. "Michael,sit up and look at me."She said as she reached for the book. MIchael rose up slowly. Vicky opened the book towards the back,ut was bookmarked with about 20 pages left to read.The bookmark was a picture of Snoopy flying his doghouse.Justin,such a kid at heart. She went farther back and found the passage she needed. "Michael , right now your feeling down, feeling alone.This always helped you in the past, its time you remembered what you wrote here."She handed him the book. Michael looked down at it, and knew instantly the paragraph Vicky was referring to. Michael looked up into her eyes and saw love,only love, which made him fell safe. "Read it Mikey." MIchael looked down and started reading. "Writng this book has changed my life, if only for the better.In it I have tried to exorcise all my demons through cleansing words, trying hard to take the pain and sorrow with it, washing away all the bitterness and loneliness in my life. This book would not of come about except for the inspiration and honesty of one person. Daniel. Yes Daniel was real.He was a free spirt that I met a short lifetime ago in the innocence of my life. He was a tortured youth who had hardship,denial and suffering all his young life. But through it all he keep a shining optimism about life. His was the belief that hope can keep you going. Hope can keep your dreams alive, even if ,finally, they remain unfullfilled. Life charters us a course that we must take, our feet move on their own, our lives flow forever forward on the river of time. Daniel had one belief in life. Life is for the living. There is no point in going through life without opening your eyes to the living. His life was short, but through it all he kept his eyes open, and his smile gave me the faith to see that I too, was living life." Michael closed the book, and looked at Vicky. "Now read the dedication page,Mikey." Michael opened the book again and turned to the first page. Dedicated to Daniel Ortez You were right, my friend. Life is for the living. Tears filled Michael's eyes. "Thanks,Victoria.Thanks for knowing that this is what I needed to hear." Vicky hugged Michael again, looking into his eyes and seeing that he was back again, that his pain had retreated into its hiding place.Oh, how she longed to burn that secret place down. She only hoped that Justin had the strength and love to make that place cease to exist. Only time would tell. "Well, Mike.I think you need to go and talk to Justin.The two of you need to speak your peace to each other." Michael nodded his head in agreement, a smile on his face again. At that moment the bedroom door opened. Steve walked slowly out onto the terrace, the cold November air fresh in his face.Justin was standing in a corner,shivering but not moving much. "You will catch your death,Justin.Here is your jacket." Justin took the jacket and put it on, making him feel warmer.Steve stood silent for a moment and thought about what he should say. "I am sorry Justin, I know what Michael did must of hurt you.I can see you have strong feelings for him." Justin tensed up a bit. "The two of you have become fast friends,its amazing.I know I am blond, but i do have some brains in my head.I can see there is something more going on.Is there something you want to tell me Jus?" Justin turned and looked at Steve. Steve could see that Justin had been crying. "I screwed it all up, Steve. I think I am in love with him."Justin collapsed into Steve's arms. Steve held him close letting him cry openly. So its true, Steve thought.I had had my suspicions about Justin for a while, and now its in the open. Justin pulled back from Steve, but Steve held on to him. "Don't be ashamed Justin, who you are is who you are.Gay,straight,whatever.Doesn't make a difference.Your still the same loveable, fun guy that I love like a brother." Justin smiled at Steve and hugged him again. They sat down on two wicker chairs.Steve waited for Justin to continue. "I can't believe how Michael has thrown my life upside down.A day ago I didn't know he existed, and now here I am confessing my feelings for him.Is this natural?Is this real?" Steve looked at Justin."Love can do that to you,Justin. One day your feeling normal , next thing you know you feel like your heart's got a life of its own.You feel like you can't live, breath,eat or do anything without that person beside you.Is that what this feels like, Jus?" "Yes Steve, thats exactly what it feels like." "Then I hate to say it, but little Justy is in love."Steve smiled foolishly at Justin. They both started laughing. "So what are we going to do about the object of your affection?"Steve shrugged his head in the direction of the bedroom. "I don't know how to get through to him, Steve.He seems so withdrawn.He has so much pain inside him buried deep ,and I want to expose that, strip it away and find the real Michael, the one I am falling in love with.I know he's in there, I see brief moments of him, he's so beautiful.His smile takes my breath away." Justin was smiling, tears continuing to flow from his eyes. Then ,I think the first thing you have to do is talk to him.Tell him how you feel, and take it from there." "But, believe me Justin,I only want to help you by telling you this."Steve looked into Justin's questioning eyes. "Michael is different,Justin.I think there is more to him than we are seeing.I don't know what it is.It isn't something evil or whatever, but its just different.I can't explain it.For all the time I have known him he's struck me that way. Different. But I know he is a good man,with a kind heart,and a gentle soul.If you think the way you do about him, then all I can do is hope that he can make you happy." Steve stuck out his hand to shake Justin's but Justin pulled him into another hug. "Thank you Steve.And your right,the first thing I have to do is talk to him." Justin got up and headed inside.Lonnie got up off the chair, but Justin just winked at him and passed him on his way to the bedroom.He took a deep breath and opened the door. Michael looked around and saw Justin standing at the door.He was looking directly at him.Michael could see in his eyes that Justin had been crying. "Excuse us Vicky , but I'd like to talk to Michael alone." Vicky rubbed Michael on the back one last time, and kissed him on the cheek. "Have the faith to see that your both living life." Michael smiled at Vicky as she walked around the bed. She hugged Justin for just a moment,Justin smiling at her, then smiled and closed the door behind her. Justin came across the room and around the bed.He sat down next to Michael.Michael didn't make a sound but never took his eyes off Justin's. "Have you been crying,Justin?"Michael finally spoke,a tremble in his words. "Yes, Michael.I have been crying. I thought that I had said something to hurt you.I shouldn't of pried into your past, I know how much it hurts you to talk about it.But I just wanted to know everything about you.Please forgive me." Justin averted his eyes from Michael, he felt the tears starting again. He's going to cry again. "Oh, Jus. please don't cry,"Michael put his arm around Justin.Justin felt the spark again, it felt like he was in heaven. "Its not your fault.Its mine.You got too close to me and I panicked.I have set up so many walls around myself,so many defenses, and I have never seen anyone who could break them down so fast.I got scared, and I lashed out at you." "Why are you scared,Michael.I won't ever back away from you.I'll always be your friend." "I got scared because of what I wanted." "What do you mean ,Michael?" Michael stood up and walked to the window looking out. "I got scared about my feelings towards you.I have always been alone and independent. I have always found it hard to let anyone get close to me. I got scared that someone special like you wanted to get close to me.No one in a long time has wanted that from me, closeness and friendship." Justin got up off the bed and walked over to Michael. Michael looked up at Justin,tears were forming in his eyes. "I'm gay , Justin.I don't know if you had guessed it, but I can't hide that from you.Its who I am.Its a part of me.I will understand if you are uncomfortable with that,I know your religious and a god fearing man." "I am not a god fearing man, Mike.I know god loves me, I have no reason to fear him.And I know god loves you too, it doesn't make me feel any different about you." Michael looked up at Justin, he wasn't moving away, if fact he had moved closer.He put his hand on Michael's shoulder. "Do you have feelings for me ,Michael?" "I don't know Justin, everything has happened so fast.Yesterday I had no idea you would come into my life.If I did have feelings like that, I wouldn't act upon then, you must believe me. I know your not gay.I know your with Cameron.And I am too fucked up to even think about doing something like that to ruin our friendship." Justin looked at Michael deeply , his love growing with every moment he looked into Michael's eyes. Why is he looking at me that way, doesn't he hate me? No, I don't think thats it at all ,Michael thought,as a hope lighted in his eyes, but he was so unsure of himself. Michael backed up, his head started to lower. Justin reached his hand up and lifted MIchael's head up. In a frozen instant of time , their lips met. Not a passionate kiss but a loving kiss to ignite their dreams, to start their hearts beating as one. They had both closed their eyes,they both felt the sparks of hope and something more. Justin was the first to break contact. He looked deeply into Micheals eyes as they opened, two golden orbs that Justin felt lighted his soul like two suns. "I have known in my heart since the first moment I looked into your beautiful eyes, Michael, that you are my soulmate.I am falling in love with you, Michael Tavarro." Michael was speechless, this was a dream.He shook his head trying to wake up.Justin put both hands on each side of his face. "Its not a dream Michael,these feelings I have are real." Michael backed away. "But your with Cameron, your straight.You don't know me at all, your not thinking straight Justin." "I am thinking from my heart, Mikey.I have had these feelings for a long time, Michael.I broke up with Cameron three weeks ago.because I had to be honest with myself. I will be honest, I don't know if I am gay or bi-sexual.All I know is that you have awakened in me so many new feelings,so much new hope that something more is out there for me.How can this be anything but love." Michael's eyes were watering, the tears were starting to flow. This has to be a dream, he said he's falling in love with me.This beautiful man standing in front of me , opening his heart and soul to me. He said he has feeling for me.This can't be real. "It is real , Michael,"Justin was reading his thoughts again."Just open your heart to me ,Michael.Let me in.Won't you do that?" Justin pulled Michael against him again, their arms folding around each other.Michael dropped his head onto Justin's shoulder. "Oh god,Justin.All this time I had hoped that you might find it in your heart to just like me, it was a hopeful dream.But I never imagined that this could happen." Justin wrapped his arms around him tighter,Michael feeling like he belonged there forever.Justin couldn't remember a time when he felt so complete.He wanted to hold him forever. "I need to know how you feel,Michael.I want you to be honest with me." Michael pulled back and looked at Justin with tears flowing from his eyes. "All my life I have been hurt Justin, and today I thought that maybe the greatest thing in my life had happened.That I had finally met someone who could make me feel whole again." Michael hugged Justin closer. "And the thought of that man, you Justin,ever hurting me, is what scares me the most.I am so terrified that if I let you in, that I might never be able to live again if I screw this up." Justin hugged Michael again,tears now flowing from his eyes. "I promise you now and forever , Michael, that I will never hurt you.All I can ever do is love you." Michael was crying also. Justin stoked his soft hair, feeling Michael relaxing in his arms. "Lets take this slow,Mikey.One day at a time.Lets learn about each other, lets share our hearts together and grow to love each other." Michael thought about all that Justin was saying.He hesitated for only a second, and then looked up into Justin's blue eyes. "Alright,Jus." End of Chapter 6 So, true feelings are starting to show. And you have gotten a small sample of Michael's troubled past. What else happened to him? Can he trust Justin? Can they learn to love each other? Read on my friends, read on. Angel.