Date: Fri, 28 May 1999 20:35:26 EDT
From: Mlnscrm@aol.com
Subject: Justin'sLove2
 
*Well, here is long awaited part two. LOL Anyway, thanks to all of you who
e-mailed me. I got a great response to the first story. It was
unbelievable. Thank you so much. I had know idea that so many people read
Nifty or thought my writing was good. I am grateful to all of you for you
very kind and diluted words. They all mean a lot. Keep sending good or bad
to mlnscrm@aol.com.  Thanks! I know that the first segment was really short
and I am sorry. I plan to make them all a decent length. They will get
longer so not to worry. As for the usual, thanks to Nifty for putting these
stories up. Really appreciate it! These stories are not meant to imply
anything about the sexuality of any members of NSYNC or any other celebs
mentioned. And, last, but not least, you know the legal stuff. Don't read
this if you are not supposed to by law in your city/state, etc. Well, on
with the story!

Justin's Love
Part 2

	There we were. Driving. We had been for about 30 minutes. Don't
worry, we hadn't gone far. The traffic was bad! It was around 5:45AM when
the guys had gotten done signing all those CD's for their fans. They loved
the fans, so it didn't bother them too much. They had all slept on the
plane ride over so even at 6AM Justin was wide awake. (Ironic seeing as how
Justin was always talked about, and had even told me that he was NOT a
morning person). We hadn't talked much since we had left Virgin Records
half an hour ago. We made chit chat of course, but my mind was racing. I
had met him! You would think the hard part was over. Of course it
wasn't. Had I disappointed him? I knew I hadn't by the way he was acting,
but that was my insecurities creeping in. And there was always the
question, 'Where are we going?' As we passed the sign 'Interstate 4 1 mile
ahead' I decided to ask. "So, Justin, since you were in such a rush to
leave, and you seemed to be speeding off now, I'm gonna have to ask..." He
had turned his head and had a look of 'What is he gonna say' on his face. I
knew this face. I had had it since me and Justin met two hours ago. "Where
are we going?" I finished. He almost looked relieved. "Home." He put it
quite simply. He saw the look of confusion on my face and quickly
explained.
	"My home. I have to go put all my bags away...," He said pointing
to his luggage in the back. "And get changed, then I was thinking we could
grab so breakfast, and I dunno, hang out."  He said this as if he was
asking rather than telling. "Sounds like a plan to me!" I said
smiling. After about 5 minutes, I had to ask what I had been thinking for
awhile. "So, when you guys finished signing, what was the hurry to get out
of there?" Justin had practically grabbed me and pulled me out to his car
when it was over. It was like he didn't want me to meet the other guys, and
he sure didn't want to talk to them himself. "Nothing. I just wanted to get
out of the way of fans or anything." He stammered out. I nodded at him. I
wasn't buying it, but I had just met him. Well, face to face anyway. I
wouldn't push him. It wasn't that important. I was with him. That was all
that mattered. They only thing I had to do now were to keep my feelings in
check. I had decided before I got my wristband and all that I was falling
in love for Justin, or I was at least developing strong feelings for
him. He didn't know I was gay and wouldn't find out. So, I couldn't tell
him how I felt. That was what I had to be careful of. My feelings. We
started to slow down as we pulled up to a fairly large house in a wonderful
neighbor hood. "Must be nice." I said under my breath. My parents might
have been well to do, but we weren't rich or close to it. We were more on a
really comfortable living kinda tax bracket. Anyway, as soon as he had the
car off, Justin was piling bags on his shoulders to get in the house. I
just stood there laughing at him as he tried to balance himself and his
luggage and try to shut the side door. It was a riot!
	"I am so happy you are having a good. I always try." Justin said
very sarcastically. "Well, I must commend you on your efforts. I'm having a
ball." I said as a walked over and grabbed some of his bags. He smiled at
me, which made me melt, and I followed him to the front door. "Welcome to
my humble abode." He said welcoming me in. "Justin Timberlake, humble, what
is wrong with this picture?" I had already starting making fun of him. I
hate to say it, but that was how I treated all my friends. We all laughed
at the jokes and in the end, we were close as we had always been, but I
hated myself everytime I let an insult/joke slip. It was a defense that I
couldn't let down. I would force myself with Justin though. I had that
decided. "So where in this little abode are we taking this stuff?" He just
made his way upstairs. 'I guess this way' I thought as I followed him.
"So, where are we going?" I asked when we reached the top of the
stairs. Justin was still just walking. I ran up in front of him and
stopped. He looked at me and shook his head. "What?" He asked with this
'I'm a lost little boy, you can't be mad' face that I couldn't help smile
at. "Where have you been? I do talk to myself often, just not in front of
others." Now that was true. More so, before I met Justin. Before him, I was
my best friend. I had a lot of friends, sure, but I was the only one who
really understood what I was going through or how I felt. So it was more
meaningful for me to carry conversation with me than anyone else.
	"Sorry, I was just thinking. Had a lot on my mind lately." His
happiness turned to solemnest as he said that. Before I had time to say
anything, the same bright, loving Justin I had always talked to came back
as he burst open the door to his room. "Justin set them anywhere." He
pushed his way past me and threw his luggage on the bed. "Great room!" Was
all I got out. " As they say, me casa es su casa." Justin's Spanish accent
was terrible. It was a great room. The room it self was impressive with
just the size of it, but it was filled with a big wooden entertainment
center with a massive TV and stereo along with the other components. I knew
then, that I would be following my dreams to go in to the entertainment
business. We got all the bags on his bed and had gone back down stairs to
the kitchen. "So, are you hungry?" He was already looking through
refrigerator and pulling stuff out. "Well, you're in luck. I am starving."
I said smiling. "I can't imagine why though. I almost feel like I was up
for almost 48 hours first, waiting in a long ass line to buy a CD I already
have, and two, to stand in an even longer long ass line just to surprise my
best friend." I said smiling. "Well, if you just would have taken the
tickets I offered, no of it would have happened." He was right, of
course. But hey, nobody can be wrong all the time.  I surprised when Justin
set a plate of French toast in front of me and then sat in a chair right
across. I must have been so wrapped up in the conversation to notice Justin
was cooking. "WOW!  This looks great. I didn't know you cook. I'm
impressed." I was impressed. We both chatted as we had done so many times
before. Even after we had finished we just move onto the living room, in
front of the TV and talked. It felt great to be there and have a real
conversation with someone. It wasn't until 5PM that I even glanced at my
watch. "OH MY GOSH! It is 5. We are going to have to stop these talks. They
always end us up 6 or 7 hours from where we started." I said standing up
and laughing. "Whoa, where are you going?" Justin said catching up to me
while I got my coat.  "Oh, I dunno. I thought, just as a wacky idea, I
might go home. I tend to end up there at the end of most days. Just call me
old fashioned." I might have sounded like I was leaving, but I was
screaming at Justin inside to find excuse to stay. I hated the thought of
leaving. "It's late. Why don't you just stay here? I mean, we have the
room." He said as he threw his arms up and twisted around. "You wear about
the same size clothes so, you can borrow anything. That way it doesn't
matter if we wind up 6 or 7 hours from where we started." He said in a
nervous laugh.
	'It was hardly late. I mean it was 5 o'clock' I thought to
myself. I would have, and probably should have turned him down the more I
thought about it, but Justin was smiling at me and really, who can say no
to that smile? Obviously not me, because 30 minutes later I found myself
sitting with Justin on his bed, flipping channels on his TV and deep in a
conversation about the groups upcoming events. "Well, we have that concert
tomorrow night, then we go to Tampa for another one. After that, we come
back here and are in the studio for a week before vacation time." He
explained the itinerary to the best of his knowledge. "Vacation time?" I
was very curious about that! "Anytime we come home to do concerts and
stuff, we get two weeks off to spend with our families or just relax. Well,
really three weeks. Studio work is never that hard or that long. I'm not
complaining though!" He said jokingly.
	"So are you staying here for vacation?" I hoped he didn't pick up
the disappointment in my voice, but it was I laid it on pretty thick. He
must have, because he smiled at me as I turned for the answer. "Maybe if I
had someone to keep me busy, you know, hang out with, the occasional talk
that leads 5 or 6 hours from where it started, I might." I laughed at
this. "Well, I hope that you find someone like that." I said turning
around. He leaned forward and grabbed a pillow from behind him and threw it
at me. "I meant you, retard!" I was caught of guard as the pillow hit me
square in the face as I turned. "I don't think so, because are conversation
would never be as short as 5 hours!" I threw the pillow back to Justin who
was waiting for it. "Minor details!" After that we started watching some
TV. Before I knew it I was asleep. I didn't mean to fall asleep in Justin's
bed. I didn't realize how tired I really was.
	Justin lay against the headboard of the bed with Chris's head at
the bottom. He saw Chris doze off and didn't really mind. This would give
him time to think. He needed that. And now, Chris wouldn't get suspicion
like when they were on the stairs. He had to sort out how he felt. He was
happy of course. He had a great career, good friends, and now a best friend
like Chris, but part of him was more depressed than ever. He didn't know
why. The only time he was ever truly happy was when him and Chris were just
talking. But even then, something in him stirred that made him sad. And to
get rid of the sadness he would leave Chris. That would work for like a
minute and then he was depressed again. It was just like the song said, it
was tearin' up his heart with he was with Chris, but felt in two when they
were apart. He quickly dismissed that thought though. Tearin' Up My Heart'
was a song for someone in love. That wasn't what he felt. He assumed at
least. And he just hated himself for thinking that he could be gay. Ever
since he grew up, he was told the rights and wrongs and that was not a
right! But his thoughts kept coming back to love. He didn't know what he
felt like. He had never been in love. In fact, he tried to get a far away
from it as possible. He didn't know why, but love always got him thinking
and over analyzing things. He didn't need that. That was probably why he
worked so much. I mean, ever since Justin was little he was in the
spotlight. He was on Star Search, then ran to the MMC, and then he was a
NSYNCer.  He didn't get there by doing anything but work. He never really
allowed himself to party, or chill out too much, or have any fun. Chris
changed that somehow. He let is guard down with Chris, and had fun and
allowed himself to be happy. He didn't how he felt towards Chris, but it
was beyond friendship. He knew that much. He soon was fast asleep beside
Chris. Where he felt like he belonged.
	Morning came all too soon for me. Of course, I had fallen asleep at
one in the morning and it was now 7, but still. The sunlight came bursting
in through Justin's two big bay windows on the east side of the room. Not a
very good thing to have if you weren't a morning person, but hey, they were
nice. As soon as I had opened my eyes I noticed arms around me. It took me
a minute before I remembered that I had fallen asleep in Justin's bed last
night and those arms belonged to him. I didn't move. I couldn't. I didn't
know which I was more, scared or happy. Happy that the arms around me were
that of the man I loved, or scared as to why they were there. I stop
thinking about it and just closed my eyes. I knew in my mind that Justin
was just asleep and this wouldn't ever happen again. I would enjoy this as
long as I could. I carefully snuggled closer to Justin and fell back
asleep. I had pleasant dreams of course!
	Justin too awoke by the sun rushing in the windows. 'I'll gave to
do something about those damn windows one of these days' he thought to
himself. Before he ever finished opening his eyes he felt his arms around
something warm. His eyes shot open to see Chris's body right up against
his.  His mind went to racing. How? Why? When? That was all that shot
through. After 10 minutes Justin realized something. He had retracted his
arms yet. Another why came across his mind. He had to admit, he felt
complete lying there with someone in his arms. And thoughts of Chris just
made himself. That's why he couldn't believe what he did next.
	I was awakened by moving behind me, and then found myself on the
floor. Justin had taken his arms back with such speed that he made me roll
of the side of the bed and hi the floor with a THUD! I was still in shock
when Justin ran over to me to help me up. "Oh My God! I am so sorry
Chris. Are you alright?" Justin kept repeating this till I finally stood
and was gaining my balance back. "Yeah, Yeah. I'm fine. What the hell
happened?" I pretended to laugh but I knew what had happened. I knew that
Justin must have awoken to find his arms around me. He must have really
been disgusted to just whip them back like that. "I guess I pushed you when
I got up. I am so sorry.  I didn't mean to." He was a bad lair. And he felt
wrong for him to be lying to me. I was hurt that he would. I know he might
have been embarrassed, but to lie to your best friend takes a lot. "It is
alright. I should probably get going anyway. I shouldn't have even stayed
in the first place." I said walking out of the room. I tried my best to
sound like I was just playing around, but the hurt or hate or fear or
whatever it was in my voice showed through. I knew it and Justin knew
it. He was soon running after me. "Whoa. What do you mean you have to go?
You are welcome to stay as long as you want." He sounded hurt and so did I,
but neither of us would say something about it.  We were too stubborn. He
would admit what happened in fear that it would mean something, and I
wouldn't admit it because it didn't mean anything. "You have rehearsals
today, right?" I was happy that he had to go. It was my turn to think. He
looked down at the floor. "Yeah. I forgot about that.  Then the concert. I
won't be back all day. You can still come to the show you know. You would
have to stay backstage and all, but you would see the show. Then me and
you...." I cut him off.
	"Why don't you want me to meet the guys? You never would let me
talk to them on-line, you said you haven't said anything about me, at
Virgin Records we left like a bat out of hell, and then you are trying to
keep me away now. Why couldn't after the concert we all hang out?" Justin
was thrown by the question. JC was already down his back about Chris. The
other guys had tried to poke around. And the question was a good
question. If the roles were reversed, Justin would have felt pushed aside I
guess. "Because..." Justin stopped. I moved closer to him and put my hand
on his shoulder. "Justin, what is wrong? This is about something more than
me, so what is it?" I asked out of concern. He laughed between
sobs. "That's just it. It is about you. I dunno why I keep you away from
them. It's just... you are my friend. I know it sounds stupid, but it's
like I don't want to share you or something." He said this half laughing
and half kidding. I was amazed. I couldn't believe that he had said that. I
wasn't going to screw up this moment with words. I just hugged him.  And
that worked. We just held each other and I could sense that we both felt
better. I guess being with the one you love can do that to you. It was
almost perfect. The almost came about 5 minutes later as a loud doorbell
echoed through the house. "Crap! That is probably the guys. We have
rehearsals in an hour. We were all gonna ride together." he said not
pulling away yet. "Do you want me to..." He pushed away and looked me right
in my eyes. "NO! You mean a lot to me. You are my best friend and... You
are coming with us." The doorbell rang again followed with a knock.
"What!?" I was surprised to say the least. Justin turned and went to answer
the door while I stood there on the staircase.
	"Hey JC. Where is the rest of the guys?" Justin asked while
inviting JC in. "They are on their way, they just..." He cut off as he
looked at me. "Sorry Just. I didn't know you had company.  Isn't that the
guy from yesterday?" JC started to walk towards me. I felt stupid. JC was
talking about me like I wasn't even there! Justin must have picked up on
this. "He is right there. You can ask him." Justin said with a lot of
sarcasm. I had a feeling that JC had a problem with me there. I understood
yesterday at the store when he stood up to defend Justin, but now it was
just awkward.  "Yes, I'm Chris." I said very politely while extending my
hand. He took it and answered, "I'm JC." I smiled. "Yes, I know. Justin has
told me a lot about you." JC looked at Justin sharply. "All good, I hope."
He had the cutest smile. Well, second to Justin's, but hey, no one was that
perfect! "It was."  I smiled a he walked away. He went to Justin and
started talking. Had I said something wrong? I walked over to join them and
Justin tried to include me, but JC was determined to keep me out.  Maybe he
was protective of Justin like he was towards me. Luckily, the doorbell and
interrupted our little talk. It was Lance, Chris, and Joey. "Sorry we are
late. Traffic was terrible." Lance said.  "We really got to get going now
if we want to be on time." He continued. "That's Scoop. Always on
time. Well, except now." They all laughed. JC turned to me. "Well, I guess
we'll be seeing you later Chris." All the guys suddenly noticed my
presence. Justin quickly jumped in. "Actually, he is coming with us to
rehearsals. Then, I was thinking maybe we could all hang out after the
show."  Justin was telling this in that 'I'm really asking so please say
yes' tone. It was cute to hear him like that. "Oh." Went around the
room. JC was certainly taken by this. "Well, let's get going. The limo is
outside." JC was about to storm off when Justin said something. "Me and
Chris were gonna ride in my car. We'll follow y'all." Justin said grabbing
his and my coat. I wish I had known all this. I knew he was just doing this
because of what I said so I couldn't argue. It was my doing. All the guys
just mumbled and went to the limo. JC looked at us real quick before he got
in the limo and it pulled away.
	"WOW! What was all that in there? We don't have to do this just
because I said something." He turned to me. "I want you to meet them. Like
I told you, I care too much about you to have it ruined by my
stubbornness." He smiled and we pulled out behind the limo. I could tell
that I was not falling in love with Justin anymore. I had done hit the
bottom!
	"Damn JC. Did you really need to slam the door?" Joey asked
laughing. JC just stared out the window. "Hey JC. JC?" Chris said right
before punching him in the arm. JC turned to see the guys laughing at
him. They started talking and JC just tuned them out. Why was he so upset?
He didn't know. Justin was always JC responsibility, but this was more. He
felt like he was losing Justin or something. JC had never made a good a
friend as Justin. They had clicked the second they met on the MMC. They
told each other everything and had fun together. It used to be that JC was
the one Justin ran to and vice versa. Now, there was Chris. He didn't
really have anything against Chris. He barely knew him. He didn't like what
Chris meant. Chris meant that JC was replaced. JC might have been
considered to most, the strong one of the group, but he was much more
fragile then he seemed. He was a lot like Justin. He didn't take to
closeness with just anyone, and love was just as uninvited with him as
Justin. He never told anyone that, but he had come to face that fact.  Now,
he didn't know now. He did know that Justin meant a lot to him, and Chris
couldn't be all that bad for Justin to like him so. That meant one
thing. JC would have to give him a chance. He had no choice. He decided
this just as they pulled into the Arena for practice.
	Well, me and Justin had managed to pass the limo and he was already
giving me a preconcert on stage as they walked in. "It is about time y'all
decided to show up. I was wondering how long I would have to wait for
you. Come on. Let's get this over with." Justin was obviously hyper. "Is he
always like this before a concert?" I said to myself. Or so I thought. "You
mean, happy, cheerful, go lucky. Yeah. I think that's how he deals with his
nervousness and anxiety." I turned to see JC smiling. Well this was a
change I thought. "It is a better way to deal with it then most." I said as
I turned back to the stage. "Yeah, I guess. So, I gotta go, but maybe we
can talk after the show." I was happy. Whatever happened to him, I liked
it. "Yeah, you bet." He walked past me and hopped on stage. Well, this was
great. I would definitely be going to the concert. I had made that pretty
clear to myself by then. Not that I would have had a choice. Justin would
have made me go because he wanted me to. That was just how he was. Maybe it
was part of what I loved about him.
	Rehearsals were great. I got to see what went on behind the scenes,
so to speak. It was great. I had no idea that concerts and such required so
much work. You couldn't watch a rehearsal and not admire the guys for what
they did each day. I was impressed. And of course Justin was
right. Rehearsals didn't last more than an hour and a half. After they were
done I wasn't sure what to do. I felt dumb sitting out in the
crowd. Luckily, I saw Lance coming towards me. "Hey Chris.  We are
backstage. Come on man." He said as he motioned his hand and turned
around. I ran up beside him and felt a little uneasy. I didn't know if
Lance would be as hard to talk to and all as JC had been. I didn't want
that. I mean, JC had come around, at least I thought, but I didn't want to
have to wait around for all the members of the group. That would be
tough. "So, your Chris right?"  I guess I wouldn't wait around after
all. "Yeah. Is it alright if I call you Lance, or Mr. Bass, or what?" He
just laughed. "Lance is fine. So, how long have you known Justin." So, I
told him about the e-mail and then the 4 months of chatting. I had just
finished when we reached the guys. "Wow.  What a way to meet someone. It's
good that you know what your friendship is based on. That is hard to find
with us." We had just sat down still talking as JC, Chris, and Joey was
talking across from us. "So, where is Justin?" I asked. "Oh, hey Chris. He
went to change. He should be right back." JC said. I was happy that we had
the chit chat thing down. He seemed really cool. I would have hated the
thought of us getting off on the wrong foot. "So, you and Justin have been
talking for 4 months, right?" Chris asked. I was surprised. Justin said he
hadn't mentioned anything about me. "Um... yeah. We met after I sent an
e-mail to him and the group. We have been talking ever since." Joey finally
spoke up. He was the only one I hadn't said anything to. "Wow. That's
great.  We don't really get a lotta friends, so to find one amazes us all."
We all laughed. Just then Justin came walking in.
	"Why are we all laughing? What did I miss? Are you laughing at me?"
We all laughed at Justin. He was so cute when he joked around. His face was
so expressive. It was great! "Well, what are we doing Curly? It was your
idea for us to all hang out after rehearsal. What are you up for?" Chris
asked while getting us all drinks. He threw us some cokes and waited for
Justin to answer. "I just thought we could all hang out together. We
haven't all sat down and talked since Colorado. And of course, y'all get to
spend sometime with Chris. I would like you to get to know him." My face
must have turned 8 shades of red. I hated people looking at me or focusing
on me and that's all they were doing. They all wanted to see what Justin
brought home I guess. I was happy that Justin and I had talked about me
meeting with the guys and all, but now I felt stupid and wished I hadn't
brought it up. "Well, I guess we owe this little get together Chris, so
what do you want to do?" Joey asked looking at me however Chris (the
member) turned to answer. "I dunno. I was thinking maybe we could...." He
stopped as he realized Joey hadn't been talking to him. We all started
laughing. "You'll have to forgive Chris. He is a little self absorbed." JC
said still laughing. "Why don't y'all just call me Christopher. It is my
real name and actually prefer it.  That way nobody gets things messed up."
I cleared things up. "And there are five of you and one of me so, I am just
along for the ride I guess." This was getting us no where. The guys tell
Justin to choose, then I was told to choose, and now it was going back to
the guys. "Maybe we should just go back to the hotel and get some dinner
and talk." Justin finally suggested. "Just on problem.  Justin, you took
off so fast you don't have a room at the hotel." Joey pointed out. They
guys seemed a little uneasy about Joey mentioning Justin's run off, but
Justin quickly changed the subject. "Not a problem. I'll just get some
rooms and then we'll all meet up in my room." They all agreed and walked
out. I noticed that Justin had mentioned that he would get some rooms. Did
he really want me to stay at the hotel with them?
	There we were. Us following the limo again. This was getting to be
an everyday thing. I didn't know how to bring up the whole room thing. I
didn't want Justin to think I was ungrateful or anything, but I felt like I
was imposing. "Hey Justin..." Justin cut me off quickly. "So you picked up
on the rooms thing?" I nodded yes. "I don't want to impose on you or
anything. I mean, all this is worse than if I would have taken that ticket
when it was offered." Justin sighed. "I wish you would stop that. You are
not imposing. I wish you wouldn't think that. You are a great friend who I
want to be with me. Besides, the people you love never impose on you." He
stopped himself when he heard himself say that. How could he? What would
Chris think? He turned to look at me.
	What did he say? Did he just? No, I was hearing things. I turned my
head to see Justin looking at me with a worried look. He meant as a
friend. I knew it then. If he did love me he wouldn't have been worried or
scared. That's what I thought at least. Probably because I didn't know what
I would do if he loved me. And more so, I knew it would never happen so why
think it.  I just casually continued the conversation. "Yeah I know, but
still. You don't have to do all this. I can go home. It's alright." I
smiled trying to shake this feeling. I hope things weren't this awkward
just because of what he said? I understood he meant like a best friend or
even a brother. It was no big deal. Justin too felt the awkwardness. Did
Chris not pick up on what I said? Thank God! Justin couldn't believe he had
said that. Not just because it was foolish to blurt it out like that, but
he didn't know he felt that way. Last night he spent an hour trying to
figure out how he felt and he couldn't get it. Now, he was sure he was in
love. He felt more strongly about this than anything.  But now what? What
would he do now? Once anything in his life goes well something comes to
fuck it up. Never fails. "Nonsense." They sat in silence the rest of the
way. Both thinking about what the other was going to do.
	I was amazed as I walked in the lobby. It was a glorious hotel on
East Colonial Dr. It was beautiful. The guys had rented a whole floor, so
no one would bother them, so Justin just had to make a request to get
another room on the floor. "Yes. I am Justin Timberlake. I need a two rooms
on the 18th floor." He said smiling. The woman behind the counter was older
so she had no idea who Justin was. She typed up the 18th floor on her
computer. "I am sorry, sir. That whole floor is reserved. May I get you
another room?" Justin laughed. "I know that it is reserved for NSYNC. I am
the fifth member. I came in late." The old lady looked like she was about
to spasm out. "Oh, I am so sorry sir. I didn't know." Justin just calmed
her down telling her it was all right. "I am sorry sir. There is only one
room left on the floor. The floor is just below the restaurant above so it
is smaller. Is that ok? I can have a cot moved up there." Justin looked at
me and sighed. "That will be fine." She typed it in and soon we were on our
way to our room. That thought ran threw my mind.  It was "our" room. How
odd was this? Justin thought the same thing. Could he keep his feelings in
check? It would be difficult. He barely made it on the ride over here, so a
whole night was going to be a lot of trouble.
	We walked in and set our luggage down. Justin had packed a bag for
me with some of his clothes so I would have something to wear. "So, what
now?" I asked as a knock at the door came.  "I guess it is dinner with the
guys." Justin opened the door and they all piled in. "Hey Curly, I heard
about the whole one room thing. Tough Luck. Who gets the cot?" Joey asked
teasing Justin as he walked in. "HAHA. You are just so funny." Justin said
sarcastically. He picked up the phone and 30 minutes later we were all
chowing down. It was great. We all sat and talked. The guys and I were
getting along great. I was happy that we all had clicked. Me and Justin,
then me and the guys.  It was good for me to have friends beside
myself. lol Around 6 o' clock we all had finished. "OK guys. We have to
meet downstairs at the limo at 6:30 so hurry and get ready." lance said as
he was leaving to get ready. Gradually they all piled out and left us
alone. "So, you better hurry up." Justin slowly got up. "Yeah probably. Oh,
here." He said walking over to the inn table. He gave me a backstage pass
and the keys to his car. I was puzzled. "The ticket is for tonight and I
have to ride with the guys so..." I got to drive his car! WOW! I was happy
then. "You don't have to be there until 7:30 so feel free to take your time
getting ready and all. I will c-ya later." Justin went down to the
lobby. He had already showered and changed at rehearsals so there was no
need to do it again.  He left early just because he had to get away from
Chris. After what he said he was scared to be around him. He had to get
over though. He promised himself he wouldn't screw things up with Chris and
he planned on keeping it!
	I fell back on the bed in the hotel room. WOW! That was all that
came to mind. These past two days have been the best of my life. I finally
meet Justin, gain four other friends, get backstage passes to the concert,
spent last night in the same bed as Justin and tonight I will at least be
in the same room! My life could end and I would be happy. Well, almost
happy. I had said that I was so much in love that I would settle for
friendship. I was wrong. When I heard, or thought I heard, Justin say that
he loved me I knew that I loved him so much not to settle for
friendship. But now what? Justin was straight. That I was sure of. I don't
know why I was so sure. He had said to me he had never dated, he never
talked about any girls with me, and the way he made me feel had to be more
than one-sided. But I wanted him to be gay so, he couldn't be. That was my
life. Then I stopped. Just as I had done when I first met him. I stopped
thinking and analyzing and just got ready. Things would happen whether I
wanted them to or not, whether I thought about them too much or not. Not
thinking about it was much less stressful and time consuming. I took a
shower real quick and went to put on some clothes. It was 6:45. The guys
had already left. I took out some clothes from the bag Justin had packed
and was amazed. He had great taste in clothes. A definite plus for gay men
and straight men alike! I found a khaki pair of Dockers that went great
with an Old Navy long sleeve hunter green shirt. I put on some Timberline
hiking boots and a belt and finished my hair. I looked myself up and down
in the mirror making sure I was presentable. I don't like to brag, but I
had been told by girls and guys that I was pretty good looking. I am 6'1'',
with hazel eyes, a swimmer's build because that was pretty much all I did
in my spare time, and blonde highlights in my naturally brown hair. As soon
as I was satisfied, I walked down to the parking lot and drove my way to
the Arena.
	It was now 7:50 and Justin still hadn't found Christopher. He told
him to be there at 7:30.  Where was he? Justin really wanted him to be
there. More than anybody out there right now, he wanted Christopher to be
backstage when they started. Why wasn't he there? "Hey Just. Come on.  Show
starts in 10 minutes and we kinda need you." Lance poked his head in
Justin's dressing room.  "Yeah, I'm coming." Lance knew that something was
wrong. JC and Justin were by far the closet in the group, but Justin and
Lance had been pretty close them selves. They had studied under the same
vocal coach and had similar interests, so they had bonded quickly. "Hey
Justin. Mind if I come in for a minute?" Lance looked like Oliver asking
the cook could he have some more food in Oliver Twist. It was cute and
Justin couldn't help smile as this thought came across his mind.  "Yeah
sure. Come on in." Justin pulled up a chair for Lance. "What's up with you
Curly?" Lance bluntly put it as he sat down. Justin was surprised. Lance
had always been tact and graceful when approaching things. "What do you..."
Justin was cut off. "You and Chris, I mean. Obviously something. Ever since
you started talking to him you have been really happy, and then you meet
him and you are moody as any woman I have ever met. One minute you are
happy, the next you are mad, and now you are depressed. And the way he
looks at you..." Justin quickly looked up when Lance said that. "Whoa! What
do you mean the way he looks at me?" Justin was almost yelling. "No need to
get all upset about it. I just mean that when he looks at you he has a
lotta love there. You are lucky." Lance said with much confidence they were
a couple. "Lance, are you saying that you think we are a couple?!" Justin
asked half anger and, surprisingly, half hopeful.  "Yeah. Aren't you?"
Lance felt extremely small now. "I'm sorry, Just. I thought that you and
him....  I mean they way y'all act and the looks..." Justin stood
up. "Lance, you do know that I am not gay, right?" Lance looked shocked as
he said that.
	I pulled in the parking lot at 7:49. The traffic was terrible
trying to get to the Arena. Must be the concert. I rushed in looking for
Justin. I wanted to wish him good luck and all before he went out
there. "Excuse me, where is Justin Timberlake?" I asked some stagehand. "I
think he is still in his dressing room right down that hall." He said
pointing. I thanked him and ran toward the door. I turned down the hallway
to see Lance go into Justin's room. I started walking and was about to
knock when I heard them talking. "Lance, you do know that I am not gay,
right?" My mind was racing. I fell to my knees. I knew that he was
straight, but it still hit me so hard. I couldn't breathe. I listened in to
what Lance would say. He didn't speak. Justin beat him to it. "You thought
I was fag, didn't you!" Justin was yelling now. As soon as I heard that I
ran. As fast as I could. I didn't know where I was going. I threw the
Justin's keys down the hall and just starting walking. I had to go back to
the hotel and get my clothes and return Justin's. Then, then I would be
gone.
	JC came out of his room just as the keys hit the end of the
hall. "What the..." JC was cut off by muffled yelling from Justin's room
and then me running out the door and slamming it behind me. JC slowly
walked down to Justin's room. He walked in and Justin was sitting on his
cot wit his head in his hands. Lance was about in tears in a chair. "What
the hell is going on? What is wrong with y'all and Christopher?" Justin
raised his head at the sound of that name. "Is Christopher here?" Justin
asked. "He was. He threw some keys down the hall, ran from your door out
the exit and slammed it shut. What happened?" Justin was scared. "He must
have heard. I am so stupid."  Justin said only half way to himself. JC was
about to ask more when Joey and Chris came up.  "Hey, you guys! We have to
get on stage. Anyone care to join us?" They both laughed and walked toward
the stage entrance. "Come on Justin. We have to go. We will talk about this
latter." Justin nodded. I am coming. Just give me a sec with Lance. JC knew
better than to not do as he asked, so he nodded and left. "I am so sorry
Justin. I shouldn't have..." Justin quickly cut him off. "No. I am sorry. I
shouldn't have blown up like that. Especially since..." he was about to say
'since you were right' but the words wouldn't form. He didn't want himself
to believe that. "Since it was all over something stupid. I have just had a
lot on my mind." Lance smiled. He caught the pause. The pause that told him
that it would come to Justin in his own time. He had already gone through
this with JC four months ago. He knew he would just have to wait until
Justin was ready. "Well, Justin. You know that I am always here for you,
and that I love ya. I always will. No matter what." Lance knew tat would be
a push in the right direction. "But we have to go." Justin nodded. He was
walking out of the door to the stage when he saw the keys to his car on the
floor. He picked them up. "OH MY GOD! What about Chris! I have to go
and..." Lance had to hold him back. "Justin wait. We have a concert in 2
minutes. Listen, he doesn't have a car and he doesn't have any money.  He
is gonna have to walk anywhere he goes. He won't make it back anywhere
until way after the concert. Come on." Justin knew he was right. He would
have to wait. He went out on stage to 60,000 screaming fans. None were
Chris.
	There I was walking. Feeling alone. I usually felt alone, but never
like this. I had lost four friends; the rest of NSYNC would follow Justin,
and my best friend with whom I was in love with.  How more alone could I
be? I was walking back to the hotel, but I was in no hurry. The hotel was
about 15 miles away and it would take about 45 minutes to an hour to get
there, but that was if I wanted to get there anytime soon. I didn't. I
thought about those words. 'You know I'm not gay; you thought I was a fag!'
How could I have ever been so stupid? I was wrong to think something would
have happened. That is why I had my life philosophy, 'I don't care.' Who
ever got hurt for not caring? Caring was where it all started, and all fell
apart. I dropped that saying when I met Justin only to have it come back
full force for that same reason. How ironic. It was about 10PM when I
finally walked into the hotel.
	Justin did his thing. He and Lance had walked on last, but not
late, and started the show.  He sang his parts, did his dance, but not one
part of his mind was on the concert. What had he done? How had he done it?
How had he screwed up the best thing that ever happened to him with a few
little words that were all lies to hide the truth he had never known! Only
he could things so screwed up. That was the only thought he had. 'Only I
could screw up this bad.' After what seemed like an eternity the concert
ended. As soon as he could Justin was in his dressing room putting his
clothes back on their racks, grabbing his keys, and was out the door. He
pulled onto the freeway at 10 o' clock. He would go to the hotel and hope
that Chris went there and was still there. If not, he would try... he
didn't know. He just had to believe that he would be led to him
somehow. Justin quickly pulled up to the service elevator in the back,
punched in the code, and was on his way to the 18th floor. It seemed
forever to reach it. Justin thought he would go mad before he reached it.
He about did until he heard the ding and saw the doors open. He rushed out
and ran to the door. He inserted his key and busted the door open. There he
was. Chris sat there on the bed crying. He slowly looked up at
Justin. "Don't worry. I'll be gone in a sec. Just came to get my clothes
and return yours. That's it. That's all."


TBC


*Well, there it is. Hope you enjoyed it. Send all comments to
mlnscrm@aol.com. Thanks. I have to say this one more time. Thank you all
who sent e-mail! You have no idea how it felt to get such a turn out. This
was my first story! So thank you. Stay tuned for part three. It will be a
head turner.  Also, if you have any ideas, please feel free to send them
along with comments. I am new at this so I know that everything is not
right. Just tell me and I will see what I can do.

8^)

** Everything that I have written has been true. No, not the part about it
being Justin Timberlake and all the famous stuff, but the feelings and
emotions. All of this I feel for a certain person who will be reading
this. So everybody else, if you don't understand anything from here, don't
worry! I am sorry! You were right and I was wrong! You know how hard that
was for me to say. You mean so much to me and I don't wanna lose you. I
can't lose you. You are part of me. If you leave a part of me goes with
you. And it is the most important part I have my heart. Don't listen to
what I said before or even what I say now. Know how I feel. Know that I
love you and don't deserve you, but am begging for you back. Please.

The Man of My Dreams

? I'm looking... Searching
? For someone who knows what "Love" really means
? I'm looking... Searching
? For the man of my dreams
? 
? Someone who can capture my heart
? And put it to good use
? Someone who can make sure no harm comes to it
? No faults, no abuse
? 
? Someone who will be there for me
? To wipe the tears from my cheeks
? Who will help me get through those hard, harsh times
? Whenever they seem so bleak
? 
? Someone who will claim me
? For who and what I am... Me
? Who won't worry about what other people think
? Because he's the man in my dream... My one and only
? 
? Someone who I can open up to
? And never be nervous or afraid
? Because he will be my man, my husband
? Who upon my finger, a ring he laid
? 
? Showing me that I can express my feelings
? And give him my true loyalty, trust, and emotion
? Never worrying about regrets
? Never worrying about deceit of my devotion
? 
? Someone who understands that he is the love of my life
? My true one and only
? That we are meant to be together
? Just him and me

I am so sorry. Forgive me. Please.