Date: Sat, 12 Jun 1999 16:53:05 EDT
From: Mlnscrm@aol.com
Subject: Justin's Love 4

* Well, here is number 4!! Sorry this took so long, but I have been really
busy with hospital stuff so... I will try to not take so long next time. I
would first like to thank all of those who continue to e-mail me with all
your comments and stuff. I really appreciate it and I hope they keep
coming.  Second, thanks to Nifty for putting this out and helping me get my
writing started. I am grateful.  As for the usual, this story is fake and
is not meant to imply anything about the sexuality of anyone mentioned. I
am not saying that NSYNC or anyone else is gay. Also, the legal stuff still
applies.  Follow it or at least don't get caught! Now on with the story.

Justin's Love
Part 4

	Darkness. That was all I saw. Of course, that had been all I had
seen for the past eight days. Seven days. No, I believe it was eight
days. I had completely lost track. Ever since that day that I left Justin
sitting at that cafe table crying, I had shut myself off to the world. By
the time I had gotten home I was surprised I hadn't crashed. I had so much
tears in my face that I was grateful I found my door. I went straight to my
room, closed all the doors, turned off all the lights, and slipped into my
bed. I must have lay there crying for God knows how long. I wouldn't answer
the phone, the door, I didn't go on-line, I was completely cut off. That
was the only way that I would feel better. I didn't know why I ran from
him. I played it over and over again in my mind, but no logical reason came
to me. I was just so scared, and happy, and... I dunno. I just ran. Even
after I had crawled into bed, I felt like I was still running. Running away
from Justin, family, friends, and basically life. Life had always scared
the shit out of me, but all my over analyzing helped me to at least know
what was going on around me. That was what kept me sane, knowing what was
going on. And that perhaps was why I ran. For once in my life I had no idea
were this would go, where it had started, and how it would end. That was
the only reason I could come up with day after day. I got up once a day to
take a shower and that was it. I hadn't eaten or had a good night sleep
since Justin.
	Justin was on his vacation by now. I did know that. This past week
had been there week in the studio and now they had break time. That would
have been great a week ago, but now it sounded cold and harsh. I hated the
thought of all the things Justin and I would have done together during
vacation had we still be friends. And worst yet, I hated the thought of
what we would have done had I not ran at the cafe. I had the perfect guy
whom I had love for the four months that we had been friends. He confessed
his love, I confessed mine, and then I ran and left him crying. But even
all this was not what hurt me the most. It was what Justin had said to
Lance that one night. I remember the way that had felt to me and how much
he had hurt me. I was so angry with him as well as hurt, and it had all
been over words. Justin must have felt everything I felt when I heard him
say those things, just ten times worse. I hurt him with more than just
words. I had left him and our confessions of love. He must have hated me,
got really depressed, and with drew himself from everybody. That's what I
would have done anyway. Yet I was doing that and I was the one who had
run. How ironic, huh? I slowly shook this thoughts from my mind as I headed
to the shower. I had shut myself off, but I couldn't stand to live without
some personal hygiene each day. And until I had gotten over the fear of
dying and killed myself, I would at least take a shower. As I turned on the
water I had thought to myself. `I can't keep living like this. I couldn't
go to college in the fall, or even stay here without help. But nothing had
helped. No friends would understand. I couldn't talk to anyone. Usually I
would run to Justin, but that was a obvious no. Even my Bible reading
hadn't helped me out any. And that was unusual. My reading had always
helped me out with whatever I had faced. Now, it just wasn't good enough.'
All these thoughts faded from my mind when I heard a loud ringing. I
thought I was hearing things again, but I was wrong. The doorbell was
repeating for entrance into the house. I would have treated this like all
the other times I had heard the doorbell, but whoever it was seemed
persistent. I angrily turned off the water and put on a robe. I stormed
down stairs and went to the door. "This had better be important!" I yelled
as I opened the door. I quickly regretted that statement as I saw who it
was.
	"Lance... um, what are you doing here?" I asked with much
surprise. Lance and I hadn't really talked much. In fact, other than
Justin, I didn't really know any of the guys. "Actually, I came to see
you." He said while pushing his way in. "I know we haven't really talked
much, but we have to start now. Whoa, nice house. This is really great." I
just stood there in awe. Why was he here? And way he had just pushed his
way in? "Is there something I can help you with?"  Lance took the smile
from his face. "Is there somewhere we can talk? This might take awhile." I
knew this had to do with Justin. He would have never been so protective if
it had not. "Yeah...  um, follow me." I shut the door and lead him to the
den. I turned on some lights and sat in a chair.  Lance sat directly across
from me on a couch with a table in between us. "First, what is with you and
Justin? Do you love him?" Again, I was surprised. He was so blunt and easy
with the issue. I could tell from that night at the Arena that Lance would
not have a problem with Justin or I being gay, but he was a little to
easy. "Did he tell..." I was quickly cut off. "I know what was supposed to
go on that day. But since he's came back, he won't tell anyone, anything. I
have tried to make him talk, but no luck. And I am really the only one who
he can talk to. No one else in the group knows about him being gay, or his
feelings towards you. And YOU, you are the reason I am here.  Justin had
told me everything that had happened between you and him after he told me
about his feelings. I told him he needed to talk to you and try to save
whatever it was he wanted. Then he came back like he is now. So, what
happened?" I was shocked. Lance knew about Justin, about his feelings, and
they had talked about our day at Virgin. I didn't know what to say. I could
have said a lot of things to make things seem better for me, but I chose
the truth. And even the truth had different forms to it. But, I knew that I
didn't want to lose Justin. These past few days have made that painfully
clear. So, I said everything I did, felt, and said since that day. "I
ran. We both said how much we loved each other, we both cried, we both
kissed, but I ran." I said it with much hurt in my voice. I still thought
of the whole thing as a big nightmare, but Lance being here just reaffirmed
my belief that this was life. Lance looked at me strangely. "Wait. You said
you both said how much you love each other right?" I nodded. "Then..." I
knew where this was going.
	 "Why? I don't know. I have tried to realize it, rationalize it,
over analyze it to the point that I have gone crazy. I honestly don't know
why I ran. For the four months that Justin and I had chatted, we became
best friends. We told each other everything, well almost everything. We
talked for hours and in those hours and in those months, I fell in love. I
wished for this perfect moment that me and Justin would share. We would be
like in this perfect place and say all the perfect things and then... then
there would be this perfect kiss. That was all I had dreamed about since we
have met. Then, I woke up. And I forced myself to push everything out of my
mind. I put away all my feelings and thoughts and everything that involved
Justin. I knew that there was no way anything I thought would come
true. But in the cafe... in the cafe Justin made me relive all those dreams
and wishes. Everything I thought would never happen happened in a single
moment.  I didn't know how to feel, what to say, or what to do. And now,
now I have wrecked the best thing in my life." I could no longer hold back
the tears. They came bursting through. Lance got up and sat next to
me. "Christopher, I am sorry. Sorry for barging in here, and I have to
admit I was a little mad at you when I came. Justin is one of my best
friends and to see him hurt like that made me upset. It's just it was so
hard on Justin and... and I never thought about how hard it was on you." I
sat there and wondered. "Why... I mean, I know you are here for Justin. But
none of the guys and me really know each other and all." I didn't really
know what to say about what had happened. Lance had shown up, and I told
him everything as if I was made to. "Listen, Justin thinks the world of
you. So that means that you have a lot of good points to ya. Curly is very
picky when it comes to friends. You are one of the few good ones out
there. And the thing about you and us guys not spending time, that will
change as soon as you and Justin make up." I couldn't help but smile when
he said that. "I can't believe you are doing this for me. This means a
lot. I know I screwed up big with..." Lance quickly stopped me. "I will
tell you the same thing I told Just. You made a mistake and it was pretty
bad. But if there is love you will get through it.  Whether you save a
friendship or gain a love, it will all work out." Lance gave me a hug and
got up. "Now, get ready. We have things to do, and people to see. You have
to go talk to Justin." I smiled as I quickly got up to get ready. I knew
this was my second chance. They don't come a long often and I wouldn't pass
this up. I still felt all the fear and confusion I had at the cafe, but
that would not stop me this time.
	Justin sat there in his hotel room. It was almost noon, yet he
still had not dragged himself out of bed. He knew he had to get up
soon. Today was his first day of vacation. He had two weeks of
freedom... and no one to spend them with. He had his family and the guys of
course, but it didn't seem as much as it once had. Joey and Chris had
already gone off on their own ways for the first week. JC was going to hang
around the hotel and work in the studio for the first week.  the guys had
all decided to spend last week together just chilling. Justin had not been
able to get a hold of Lance and that had not been new. Lance had always
wandered when he could, but came home when he was done. And Justin had
plans to go to his families, but staying where he was seemed nice right
now. He had been like this the past week and it was no mystery why. He
confessed his undying devotion, and I had confessed my need to be
free. That verse had run through his mind since that day. He didn't know
what he did wrong, and didn't know how to fix it.  He thought about
calling, but knew better. It was my turn to make nice. He hurt me, we
fulfilled our dreams, I hurt him. It was like a bad revenge circle that had
to be completed. It was terrible.  Justin missed our conversations as much
as I did. And us not having one in over a week was tearing us both
up. Everything had been going so right, so how did it end up so wrong? He
had no more answer than me. He thought about all of this just as there was
a knock at the door. Justin knew it was one of the guys. Anytime one of the
guys was down, it fell to the others to make things good again. After the
Arena concert, that was all they did. They all went to lunches together,
went clubbing, and movie hopping. No of it had helped and they had seemed
to leave Justin with his peace when they all left, so why was one here
know? He got up and went over to the door. He looked through the peep and
was not surprised to Lance standing there.
	"Come on Justin. I know you are in there." Lance yelled through the
door. Justin opened it and immediately started telling Lance to
go. "Listen, I don't want to go have lunch, or a movie, I don't want to
hang out and talk, I want to be left alone. Is that so wrong?!?" Justin
practically yelled. He was getting tired everyone trying to tell him how he
felt or he should get over it. He didn't know how to get over it. Lance's
once smiling face was replaced by hurt. He knew Justin was going through a
lot and all, but they were still friends right? Justin didn't act like it
and the rest of the guys could only take so much. "Well, fine. You don't
wanna do anything with me, that's fine. But you do need to talk..." He
moved his arms past the door out of Justin's view and pulled me in front of
him. "To him." Lance finished. I stood looking at the floor with tears in
my eyes. By the sounds coming from Justin, he too had water works going
on. I hated to see him cry, and hated knowing it was my fault. "Well, I'll
let you two talk. You have a lot to talk about." Lance started to walk off
while I remained where I was staring at the floor. "So, how ya been?" I
asked. That was the only thing I could say. I had trouble getting out
anything I had planned to say. "Don't do that!" Justin yelled at me. He had
actually raised his voice to me. I was hurt beyond belief. "Don't do what?"
I asked as my tears came back full force. "Don't act like nothing
happened. You hurt me, and you can't make it better by acting like we are
what we once were." Justin had turned and walked back into his room. The
door was open still, and I guess that was his invitation to come in and get
this over with. I went in after him. "All that is true. But you hurt me
too." I said in somewhat of a defense. Justin looked at me blankly. "I
can't believe you would bring that up again. I told you it was wrong and a
mistake and..."
	"And what I did I did on purpose. Is that what you are saying?" I
asked more hurt than ever. Even though we had stopped talk, and he yelled
at me, this was something else. "Didn't you?" He had accused me of hurting
him on purpose. "Listen, I think you should go." Justin said laying down on
his bed. I was determined for him to at least know how I felt. "No, I want
to talk about this. We need to talk about this." I said coming closer to
him. This seemed to piss him off as he stood from the bed. "All right,
why?" I looked at him with confusion. "Come on, you said you wanted to talk
about it. So why did you leave?" I didn't know what to say. Even all the
stuff I had told Lance didn't seem right here. Not with him. "Because I
love you. I have since I met you.  And knowing that you felt the same, or
you kissing me, or whatever happened between us that day scared the hell
out of me. I was just so confused and so surprised, it got to be too much."
he looked at me with understanding. Almost as if he knew how all this
felt. I had forgotten that he might know where I was coming from see how we
were in the same boat here. "And I was scared too. I was so scared that I
thought about running away and never coming out of whatever hole I found
myself in. But I didn't. I stayed. I thought of you and what you meant to
me and I stayed. So, none of that is any excuse. You are gonna have to try
harder than that." I looked at him. What now?
	JC stepped off the elevator to see Lance pacing up and down the
hallway. "Lance, you are gonna wear a hole in the carpet. What's up man?"
JC's laugh faded as he saw the seriousness on Lance's face. He then heard
muffled voices coming form Justin's room. "What's going on? Who's with
Justin, and why does it worry you so much? This isn't like you?" JC had
always had that sixth sense to know when something was going on. "Justin is
getting the help he needs." That was all Lance could think of to say
without revealing too much. JC would not have minded Justin being
gay. Lance had had to deal with JC already. Luckily JC's coming out was not
this complicated. It was hard for him, of course, but all this with Justin
was way more to deal with.  "What do you mean?" JC was curious now. Justin
and JC were supposed to be the closet, so JC usually knew everything that
went on with him. But for the past two weeks Lance had filled that
spot. Lance just looked at him. "It's better if you ask Justin when he gets
done." JC was getting kinda mad. He deserved to know what was up. "Why
don't I just go ask him now." JC said starting towards Justin's
door. "Josh, no! He needs this time." JC knew this was big. Lance had never
called him Josh before. "All right Scoop. Whatever you say." JC backed
off. "How long have they been..." Lance looked at his watch. "Almost three
hours." They were both amazed.  Lance didn't realize it had been so
long. "Why don't me and you go watch some movies and all till this blows
over and they come out." JC suggested. Lance wasn't sure. With JC's
confession about being gay, came his confession of his love, for
Lance. Lance told him he was straight and JC didn't expect more, but
spending alone time with JC had grown awkward. For Lance anyway.  He didn't
want to say anything because of the friendship and all, and he knew it was
all in his mind. He finally agreed after wining the fight with
himself. There was nothing else he could do. It was all up to Christopher
to help Justin now, and vice versa.
	"Well, I am sorry. I don't know what else to say. You are stronger
than I am. It's just I had put all those feelings I had for you since I met
you out of my life, and when you said that...  Everything that I had told
myself was wrong and never would be came rushing back. It was just too
much. Did you feel that too?" I asked that last question with sarcasm. This
was not going the way I had hoped. Justin looked at me. He had to admit to
himself he didn't feel that. Before he ever got that chance I was talking
again. "You couldn't. You said that you had just realize you feelings for
me on your way from the concert looking for me. I have had to deal with all
that, everything you felt in that hour or so, for four months. Now, tell me
you went through all that and still stayed." I just looked at him. This was
like that day at the cafe. We were both struggling with our feelings and
what to say, and all we could do was stand there and cry. I was about to
turn around and leave. There was nothing else I could say or do. I had
ruined it. At least I had thought that until Justin spoke up. "I'm sorry. I
had no idea that... I didn't know. Everything is just so new to me, and I
thought that made it harder. I never even thought about dealing with all
this for so long and it still be just as hard, if not harder. This past
week... I have felt what you are talking about. And I... I can't honestly
say I would've acted any different than you. It's just..." He stopped and I
knew why. "It made you feel like your feelings weren't returned. That you
had fallen completely, head over heels, home run out of the ballpark, in
love, and all you got was a bush off and a cheap shot at a friendship." I
was talking about my experience with Justin somewhat. But for the most
part, I was talking about my worst nightmare. That that would happen to me
and I would roam the earth alone forever. Right now though, I had to stop
that. And I had that chance. Right here, right now. I would have to make
things clear.
	I slowly started to walk towards Justin. I don't believe he saw me,
his face still studying the carpet beneath him. By the time he had looked
up I was inches away from him. "But they are returned. I do love you. With
all my heart, you mean the world to me. And I know that we have made
mistakes, and mine was a big one. But there is love here. I am more certain
of that than I have ever been. Through all the denials and words and run
aways, I am still in love with you. Are we still in love with each other?"
I asked my voice trembling. That was it. It was all I could. I had said all
I could, done all I could. It was all up to Justin and if he would forgive
me. If I even deserved to be forgiven. "Let's just say I did forgive
you..." Justin said still looking at the ground.  "What does that mean for
us?" He finally looked up and through the tears, he was smiling. I knew
that we had done it. We had had our second major fight and made up, and we
hadn't even started dating! The smile faded and was replaced by seriousness
as we both leaned forward. I slowly tilted my head one way in unison with
his head tilting towards the other. As our lips touched I knew I had to
make this work. There was something there to make it work. Someone once
told me that the two most important kisses happen early in the
relationship. The first one, which most love, is the first kiss you share
with that person. It is so new and forced by passion and lust more than
love. It is something most dream about and most plan about, but it always
just happens. And it is great. The second is my favorite. The second most
important kiss was... the second kiss. The second kiss is so important
because it is the exact opposite of the first. As the first one was fueled
with passion and lust, the second is filled with love. The second one is
not rushed and is not unexpected. You both want it, and you both know that
there will be more. The second kiss is almost like an insurance there will
be more to come. There are plenty of first kisses that were also last
kisses. Whatever the reason they were only that one kiss, the point is they
were only that one kiss. Second kisses made room for the third. And here
was Justin and I, on that second kiss. And this was a definite
insurance. We had already been through so much, it just reassured us we
could with stand anything. All these thoughts ran through my mind as he
explored every crevasse of our mouths. We could have quite possibly stayed
there all day, coming up only for air, had not something interrupted.
	KNOCK KNOCK It echoed through the room as yet another sign of our
patience with the rest of the world. We were forced to stop, but Justin
seemed in no hurry to get the door. I expected him to break the kiss and
rush to the door. But we stayed there looking in each others eyes. He had
the most stunning, piercing blue eyes I had ever seen. And they were filled
with love. Of that I was certain. And I am sure we all heard that eyes are
windows to the soul, so this had to last. We would have stayed like this
too all day but again we were pulled from our world we were still trying to
form. "HOLD ON!" Justin yelled to the side and looked back at me. "Don't go
anywhere. I will be right back." With that he headed to the door. I wanted
to say, I've left once, it will never happen again," but I had faith that
he knew that already. He had to. "Yes."  Justin said as he opened it. He
was expecting Lance and was ready to rush out and think him, but he was
wrong. Well, he was half right. "Hey Just, you doing OK?" JC asked as Lance
stood at his side looking at Justin. He had that `I tried and I'm sorry,
hope we didn't break up something important' look that Justin smiled
at. "I'm fine." He said and turned to Lance. "Really." Lance smiled. He was
proud that he had helped out his new friend out with his old. "Well, it's a
nice change." JC smiling. "So, does that mean the party is in your room?"
JC pushed his way inside.  Before anyone thought about it, he saw me
standing there in the middle of Justin's room. Justin and already turned
around and Lance had followed not far behind JC. "Um... Christopher. What
are you doing here? I thought... I thought you left. Justin said that you
wouldn't be coming back after you ran off. What's up?" He looked at me
briefly, but shifted his view to Lance and Justin.  It wasn't that I was
there that got him confused and al little mad, but more so he didn't know
what was going on. "That's it. I am tired of it. Justin, you used to be my
best friend, and now... I guess I can't even be trusted since I never know
what is going on. First I'm replaced by Chris..." He said pointing at
me. His finger did a 180 as he pointed at Lance as he continued. "Then
Lance.  Then, something happens at the Arena that I have no idea what,
Chris goes running, you are all messed up through the whole show. You and
Lance spend all night talking, you disappear the next day, you obviously
lie about Chris, I mean why did you do that? And now you are still keeping
secrets? What is up with that?" JC had grown from concerned with a hint of
anger, to full blown pissed off.
	JC was not the only one mad. Lance was getting pretty upset
himself. JC was being so stubborn. He was not being the calm, understanding
person he usually was. He was the level headed one of the group, this not
being based on his actions now. "You have got some nerve JC.  Justin has
been going through a lot right now. He has had to deal with a lot of crap,
and he is doing the best he can. It wasn't easy for you either so you have
no room to yell or be angry at anyone."  Before Lance had realized what he
had said it was out. Three pairs of eyes were fixed on Lance as he felt
himself begin to shrink. "You mean..." Justin and JC both said that at the
same time.  They both looked at each other and realized what was going
on. I slumped down and the bed luckily caught me. I thought about what was
happening and it wasn't really the shock of JC being gay that made me
fall. It was the thought of what this meant to Justin. In all the time I
had spent talking and falling in love with Justin, JC had been in many of
our conversations. Either he had done something funny that day or said
something cool enough that Justin had to tell me about it. If I had not of
thought that Justin was straight I would have thought he had feelings for
JC. It was quickly dismissed because he was straight, until a week ago
anyway. And I hadn't really thought about those feelings Justin might have
for JC when I found out he was gay, because so much was going on at that
time. Now, everything I had thought was coming back. I couldn't handle all
this.  Every five seconds feelings I once had were now coming back. First,
my love for Justin now this.  I mean really, what's next? This was all I
had on my mind as JC and Justin stood there staring at each other. Lance
was trying to make amends fast. "Oh my God, Josh I am so sorry. I didn't
mean to say that. You too Justin. It just slipped out, I am so sorry."
Lance stopped when he realized that no one was angry. Surprised yes, but
not anger. "It was an accident Lance. I was planning to tell the group one
day. I didn't think it would be this early, but hey... at least it was with
Justin first." JC said smiling at Justin. "You're OK with this right?" JC
said looking at Justin.  Justin snapped out of his trance and quickly
nodded. "Of course, I mean... I obviously have no room to care. I just
can't believe you never told me. I thought we were best friends. I didn't
even know for sure until I met Christopher, so I was still trying to figure
all this out. You have known for a lot longer I take it?" Justin said
moving closer to where I was sitting. JC just stood where he was turning
around only to face Justin. "I didn't tell you, because we were best
friends. Not because we weren't. I was scared I might lose you. You are the
last person I expected to understand. I didn't think anything you grew up
with would understand it." I sat there not knowing what to do. This was
personal so should I leave? But Justin had walked over and was sitting next
to me on the bed, so maybe he wanted me to stay? JC and Justin continued
talking with me totally oblivious to what was being said until I heard my
name.
	"So, does all this have anything to do with all the yelling coming
out of this room?" JC had missed a lot. He was determined to know what was
going on from now on. He hated being left in the dark, and he knew it had
almost cost him his best friend. Justin and JC would have stilled remained
friends if all this hadn't come out right now, but they had been drifting
apart for a while so there wasn't much of a friendship left. Justin and I
both turned to each other and smiled. I don't either of us had intended to
be so loud. "Well, there was a slight mix up in how we felt. But we got it
all straitened out." We all smiled and then fell silent. It was like no one
had anymore to say. After five minutes JC realized they should probably
leave now. He had forgotten they had just barged in here without knowing if
we had finished or we had just got tired and took a break.  "Well, I guess
I'm gonna head to my room. I am going to the studio tonight so I need to
change.  You coming Lance?" JC asked while leaving. Lance too knew it was
time to leave. "Yeah, I need to get packed. I wasn't gonna go home, but I'm
tired of hotels. I'll be there if ya need me Justin.  You too Chris. I'll
c-ya later." Lance smiled at us and left. As the door shut Justin fell back
on the bed and let out a loud sigh.
	"What is it?" I knew that he was tired. This day and been hard on
both of us, and wore us out. "I just cant believe all that has happened
today. It has been so weird. First, all that stuff with us, and then JC. I
am just surprised." As he said JC's name I knew we had to talk about that.
"Justin, how do you feel about the thing with JC?" Justin looked at me
oddly and smiled. "What do you mean? I obviously don't have a problem with
it." I think Justin knew what I had meant but I humored him. I always
did. "I mean..." Justin sat up and put his arms around me. "No. I meant all
that stuff I said to you. Nothing changes that." I smiled. We knew each
other too well. It was kinda scary. "Anything else we need to talk about?"
Justin said. I knew he was mocking me. He knew that I thought too much
about everything, and always had something to say about it as well.  "Just
one more thing, if you must know." I said pulling away from him a
little. "What now?" That was a question on both our minds. He had to be
thinking it too. It was an important question that neither of us had given
much though to. We were to busy trying not to screw up the present, when
didn't give much thought to the future. " I don't know. I hadn't really
thought about us in the future. I wasn't even sure of an us until today. I
do know, however, that I want my future to have you in it. In anyway, as
long as you are with me. Friends, lovers, whatever. I want you with me.
So, I guess you are going to have to answer your own question." Justin
looked at me with such hope in his eyes. He knew I would stay. I knew I
would stay. I wouldn't hurt him ever again, and I didn't want to lose
him. I didn't try to think of words to say to him to let him know the
answer.  Words seem to muddle p too many things. I just bent over slightly
and was going to finish what we had started. Our lips met for the third
time, but it still felt new to me. It was as great the first time, and the
second time, as it was now. His lips tasted sweet as my lips began the
descent down to meet his. My lips barely grazed over his, when I felt his
arms wrap around my back and pull me on top of him. He lay there with his
feet hanging off the bed as my knees were on either side of his perfectly
sculpted torso.
	I remained over him my lips never leaving his for almost an
hour. That's when I found my hand roaming up and down his sides through his
shirt. I started to move my hands over his chest running over the buttons
on his shirt. I slowly unbuttoned them one after another until I had his
chest exposed. I started to move down from Justin's lips and onto his
neck. I explored every inch of his neck with my tongue stopping
occasionally to suck a sweet spot. I heard moans of pleasure come from
Justin that told me not to stop. As if I would have stopped anyway. By that
time I was sucking on Justin's now erect nipples, he had removed my shirt
and his hands were all over my upper body. I continued to kiss my way down
Justin's chest while my hands remained playing with his nipples for another
hour or so. We were in so much ecstasy, we had no concept of time. I had
moved back up to Justin's lips as he continued to moan. That's when I felt
his hands around my waist. He had started on the back of my waist and was
moving his hands around to the front. I was now the one moaning as he
slowly started to undo the button to my jeans and pull down my zipper. This
experience was taking me to new height, but as I felt his hand grab my cock
firmly, I sat up. Justin looked at me with fear as he removed his hands. I
tool a quick breath before I said anything. "Justin, this is all great. I
am beyond happiness that we have gotten together. And I love you, you know
that. And that is why we need to slow down. I want to be with you, and it
is not like we don't know each other, but this will be both of our first
times and it is not something to be rushed." I said practically begging him
not to be mad at me. He shook his head and smiled. "I know. I am sorry." I
smiled too. "Don't be sorry. I was enjoying it. But I am not going
anywhere.  Not this time. We have plenty of time together to do all this."
I looked over at the clock as it real 9:30. "You know, it is getting
late. Maybe we should get some sleep. We have both been through a lot
today." Justin nodded and started to get up and pull back the covers on the
bed. "What are you doing?" I asked smiling. "I'm getting ready for bed. I
thought you would sleep in this bed with me. Is that wrong?" I hopped over
the bed and put my arms around him. "Of course it is all right, it's just
we won't be sleeping here." he looked at me puzzled. "I have a big, empty
house waiting for us both. I want our first night together to be
special. Sex or no sex, I don't want to spend our first night in a hotel. A
nice hotel, but a hotel none the less." I said as persuading as I
could. "Well, you are just lucky I packed." He said laughing as he grabbed
his bags. "Well, come on." I got up from the bed and headed to open the
door for him.
	He went down to the parking lot and went to Justin's Mercedes. Good
thing he had his car, because I came with Lance. As Justin was putting up
his bags I quickly snatched the keys from him and bolted to the driver
seat. He finished putting up his luggage and climbed in shotgun.  He knew
better to argue! Besides, he didn't know where to go. I started up there
car and proceeded home with Justin by my side. As we pulled into my
driveway, I noticed my man had turned to sleeping beauty. I knew I was
boring, but I didn't know I could put ya to sleep. I hated to wake up so I
parked and went over to his side. I carefully opened the door and picked
him up. I closed the door and pressed the button to open the garage. I was
surprised at how heavy he was.  I had a swimmers build so it wasn't a
problem, but he was a lot heavier than you would think. I didn't care
though. He was all mine and that was the important part. I walked him up
the stairs and sat him on my bed. He let out a soft moan, but did not
awaken. I stripped him down to his boxers and pulled the covers over him. I
watched his chest rise and fall as he slept so beautifully beside me. I sat
there for a couple of minutes before getting ready for bed and joining
him. I slipped into bed and looked over him. "I love you Justin. More than
you will ever know." I slowly leaned down and kissed him upon the cheek and
laid down. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him close to me. I was
leaving my dream and I knew that nothing would ever be this good.  This was
as good as it gets.

TBC
Hope you enjoyed. Please e-mail me at mlnscrm@aol.com and tell me if you
did or not. Thanks.  

Again, sorry for taking so long. I'll try to better next time. Thanks! 

8^)