Date: Wed, 29 Mar 2000 02:35:30 EST
From: DivaKitT@aol.com
Subject: Justin's Secrets chapter 4

    Disclaimer: This is a fictional story of homosexual content involving the
members of *NSYNC. To my knowledge they are not gay and I do not claim to
know that they are. If you are offended by this type of material . . . don't
read it. If you're under 18 . . . come back when you're older.

*     *     *

    "JC, I said, 'Josh is my son," Justin repeated.
    JC stared blankly at his best friend.
    "Why did you lie, Justin?" JC asked finally.
    "Wha-- I didn't lie! I just never told you!" Justin defended.
    "But why?" JC persisted. "I thought we were friends, Justin! Why would
you keep something like this from me?"
    "I didn't want to, but I didn't know what else to do! We were so fragile
then. . . I didn't know what you guys would think."
    "Then, I take it the others don't know either?" JC asked.
    "No. Only mom knows," Justin replied looking down at his feet.
    JC stared at Justin while Justin stared at his shoes, unwilling to meet
JC's angry eyes.
    "So, how many other kids do you have, Justin?" JC glared.
    Justin swiftly looked up from his shoes.
    "Wha-- none! I don't have any--"
    "How many girls have you slept with?" JC cut him off.
    Justin's eyes began to fill with tears as his best friend insulted him
angrily.
    "JC, I. . . uh. . . I didn't. . . I haven't. . ."
    "Just go away, Justin," JC sighed. "I just need time to think."
    A tear fell slowly down Justin's cheek as he nodded his head. He stepped
around JC and walked out the door, closing it softly behind him.

*     *     *

    Justin walked slowly down the stairs and into the kitchen where his mom
and Angelique were talking.
    "Angel, can we talk?" Justin asked barely able to control his voice.
    Angelique looked at him and nodded. She reached down and pick up Josh,
from where he was sitting by her feet.
    "Where should we put, Josh?" she asked resting the toddler momentarily on
her hip.
    Justin reached out and took Josh from her. He turned and walked towards
the living room with Angelique following close behind.
    Justin set Josh on the couch and flipped on the television.
    "Joshy, stay here, okay?" he ordered.
    Josh barely nodded his head in response, already enthralled in the
cartoons.
    Justin took Angelique's hand and led her through the kitchen, out the
back door to the patio. Justin released her hand and walked over to the pool.
He sat down on the edge. Removing his shoes and socks, Justin dropped his
bare feet into the water.
    Angelique sat down next to him, also removing her sandals before putting
her feet in the water.
    They sat there in silence for a few moments before Angelique spoke up.
    "What did he say?" she asked.
    Justin sighed and tried to control the tears which threatened to spill at
any moment.
    "He, uh, asked me how many other kids I had . . . and how many girls I've
slept with," Justin laughed sarcastically.
    Angelique smiled sadly.
    "I'm so sorry, Justin. I didn't think he would have reacted that way,"
she apologized.
    "I was half tempted to tell him that I hadn't been with anyone but you
because I wanted to be with him," Justin said softly, tears forming in his
eyes again.
    Angelique wrapped her arms around him and kissed him softly on the cheek.
"Il sera bon, bien-aimé," she murmured. Justin leaned over and rested his
head on her shoulder as his tears began to fall in earnest.

*     *     *

    JC watched from his window as Justin and Angelique embraced.
    "I can't believe him," JC muttered. "He completely lied to me and
everyone else and he doesn't even care. There he is, back with Angelique like
nothing happened."
    JC turned away from the window in anger. He grabbed his keys off the
dresser and jogged down the stairs. He stormed out of the house, closing the
door loudly behind him.
    As JC climbed into his car, he pulled out his cellphone and dialed up
Lance's number.
    After two rings, a deep voice answered.
    "Hello?"
    "Hey, Scoop. You're not busy, are you?" JC asked, starting the car.
    "No, not really. Why?"
    "I need to talk to you," JC replied pulling out of the driveway.
    "Okay. How soon are you going to be here?"
    "Give me fifteen minutes?"
    "Sure thing. See ya then JC."
    "Later Lansten."
    JC was already on the way as he hung up his phone.

*     *     *

    Ten minutes later, JC pulled up in front of Lance's house. He parked his
car and walked up to the door. He walked in and saw Lance sitting on the
couch flipping channels.
    "Hey, Lance," JC said hopping over the couch and plopping down beside his
bandmate.
    "Hey, JC. What's up?" Lance replied still watching the TV.
    "Not much," JC sighed.
    Lance looked curiously over at his friend. He picked up the remote and
turned off the TV, then turned to face JC.
    "Okay, what's going on? Why aren't you talking to Justin?" Lance asked.
    JC looked up at his friend and smiled.
    "Y'know, Lansten, it's almost like you're psychic," he laughed wryly.
    Lance smiled, but his face quickly became serious.
    "So?" he inquired.
    JC sighed, but didn't offer any information. He began playing with his
necklace, trying to organize his thoughts.
    "Josh? What's up?" Lance coaxed, resting his hand on JC's shoulder.
    JC became agitated at the mention of the name he shared with Justin's son.
    "Justin's been keeping a secret," JC said angrily.
    "From you?" Lance asked.
    "Among others," JC muttered.
    "Who else?"
    "Everyone. You guys," JC answered.
    Lance leaned back and thought a moment.
    "What's the secret?" Lance asked quietly.
    JC took a deep breath as if he were going to speak, but sighed instead
and began picking at his fingernails, obviously stalling.
    Lance watched JC pick at his fingers and play with his jewelry for a
minute before placing his hands on top of JC's.
    "What is the secret, Joshua?" he asked slowly and softly, accenting every
word.
    JC turned and stared Lance in the eyes for a second, then spoke.
    "Justin has a son," JC admitted quietly. He leaned back on the couch,
closing his eyes. He looked obviously relieved at having admitted what was on
his mind.
    Lance, on the other hand, had been caught way off guard. He had not been
expecting that at all. He had been expecting maybe Justin had gotten in
trouble or something like that. Something easily fixable . . . hell, even
something not so easily fixable, like Justin being on drugs. Though he would
never want to think Justin would choose to do drugs, so in that respect, he
was thankful.
    Lance sighed heavily.
    "Shit," he said, surprising JC with one of his rarely uttered cus words.
    "Why didn't he tell us?" Lance wondered aloud.
    "He said that he wasn't sure how we'd react," JC explained, then he
suddenly jumped to his feet.
    "And you know what else, Lance? You know what else!? The kid is four! FOUR
! Justin has been keep this from us for FOUR YEARS!" JC fumed. He began
quickly pacing back and forth in front of the couch.
    Lance pulled his feet up off the floor so as not to get them trampled.
    "How could this have happened?"
    "I don't know," JC rushed," but do you remember that girl he met when we
were in Sweden?"
    Lance thought for a second and then nodded.
    "Yeah, Angelica or something wasn't it?"
    "Angelique, yeah. Well, it's hers."
    "What's hers? The kid?"
    "Yeah," JC replied, still pacing.
    Lance sat silently taking everything in.
    "What's his name?" Lance asked after a few minutes of silence.
    "OH! and that's the kicker!" JC yelled getting riled up again. "The kid's
name is Joshua! Josh, of all things!"
    JC stopped pacing and fell back onto the couch. He brought his hands up
to his temples and began rubbing small circles.
    Lance chuckled lightly realizing the one thing JC missed.
    JC opened his eyes and gave Lance a funny look.
    "What's so funny?" JC snapped.
    "You do realize that you missed something?" Lance asked still laughing
lightly.
    "No. . .what?"
    Lance spun the ring on his finger then turned to face JC.
    "I am almost positive . . . that kid is named after you, Joshua," Lance
smiled.
    JC sat silently a minute before a smile crept across his face. He laughed
softly.
    "Congratulations, JC," Lance smiled. He leaned over and pulled JC into a
hug.
    JC smiled and wrapped his arms around Lance's neck to counter the
embrace. He took a deep breath and was bombarded by the strong, inviting
scent of Lance's cologne. JC pulled away quickly.
    Lance gave him a confused look.
    "What? Do I smell bad? I took a shower right before you got here," Lance
said pulling up his shirt to smell it.
    JC stared at the small amount of Lance's strong stomach which was
exposed. They had all been off for the past few weeks and Lance had regained
his light brown, Mississippi tan.
    "Hello? JC?" Lance waved hi hand in front of JC's face trying to get his
attention to no avail. JC seemed to be lost in thought.
    "That's it. There is something definitely wrong with my shirt," Lance
decided pulling his shirt over his head. He stood up and walked towards his
room with his shirt tossed over his shoulder.
    JC continued to stare at the place where Lance had been sitting.
    'I can't believe this,' JC thought. 'What's wrong with me!? I'm gawking
at Lance now. . .'
    "I thought I was over this," JC muttered to himself.
    "Over what?" Lance asked as he walked into the room buttoning up a clean
shirt.
    JC looked up surprised.
    "Okay. What about this?" Lance asked finishing the last button. He put
his arms out to the sides and did a quick circle for JC's approval.
    JC swallowed hard, hoping Lance wouldn't wonder what he'd been talking
about, and nodded his approval.
    Lance looked at his friend curiously.
    "JC, is something else bothering you?" he inquired as he sat down on the
couch.
    JC looked down at his hands then back up at his friend.
    "Lance?" JC began.
    "Yeah, Josh," he replied.
    JC took a deep breath.
    "Lance, how did you, um . . . decide you were bi?" JC finally got out.
    "OH," Lance smiled. "So, you weren't staring at my shirt?"
    JC blushed and looked away without responding.
    Lance mentally scolded himself.
    "I'm sorry, JC. I didn't mean to say that," Lance apologized.
    When JC continued to stare at the blank TV screen, Lance decided to
answer his question.
    "I started noticing guys," Lance told him. "Well. . . I noticed one guy."
    JC looked at his friend curiously. Lance smiled just smiled sweetly in
reply.
    "Okay, so, I noticed you, Josh," Lance admitted with a laugh. "You're
straight. I wasn't expecting anything, but to put it bluntly . . . you're a
hottie."
    JC smiled and blushed half a shade deeper. Lance laughed at this.
    "JC, I don't think I've ever seen you such a pretty color," Lance teased
leaning over and pinching JC's waist.
    JC laughed and pulled away. Lance moved closer and pinched him again.
    "Stop," JC laughed holding his hands up for protection. Lance grabbed
JC's arms and pinned them over his head with one hand, then began tickling
him with his free hand. JC lamely tried to push away Lance's hands as Lance
tickled him into a fit.
    "Stop, I can't breathe," JC gasped after a few minutes.
    Lance grinned and pulled his hands away. He leaned back on the opposite
arm of the couch with his eyes closed.
    JC lay stretched out on the other end of the couch trying to catch his
breath.
    "Lance?" he asked still breathing heavily.
    Lance opened his eyes and looked at his friend.
    "Huh?" he replied his deep voice sounding relaxed.
    "Have you ever, um, kissed another guy?" JC inquired uncomfortably.
    "Many," Lance chuckled," Why?"
    "Well. . . I was wondering, what's it like?"
    Lance thought a moment.
    "It's like kissing a girl," Lance stated," only . . . different."
    "Thanks, Lance. That's really helpful," JC snorted.
    Lance looked at his friend and laughed.
    "No, it wasn't really, was it?"
    Lance thought for a minute and then spoke again.
    "When you kiss a girl ... it's sweet ... and you feel that in the kiss.
You feel the gentleness and love that women express so well. When you kiss a
guy ... it's stronger, more aggressive, more passionate, but it still has
that feeling of..."
    Lance paused trying to think of the word.
    "Love," he decided with a soft smile. He turned to look at JC lying on
the other end of the couch. JC's hands were behind his head. His eyes were
closed and there was a slight smile toying at the corners of his mouth. He
looked as if he were trying to imagine what it would be like. It was very
cute.
    "I wish I knew what it was like," JC whispered. Then, JC opened his eyes
and spoke louder," I wish I knew what it was like, Lance. I wish that I knew
what that was like instead of having to imagine it and wonder what it would
feel like."
    JC sighed and gave Lance a dejected smile. Lance smiled sadly in reply,
but the smile soon changed into a larkish grin.
    "C'mere, JC," Lance said spreading his arms for a hug.
    JC sat up and leaned toward Lance with his head down, expecting a
comforting hug. Instead, Lance slid one arm around JC's waist and put his othe
r hand behind JC's neck and pulled him into a kiss.
    At first, JC was too surprised to react, but he soon realized that he was
kissing a man... a very sexy man at that, and he started to get into it.
Lance's lips were so soft against his own, yet the kiss was not as patient or
meek as a woman's would be. It was aggressive without being to pushy. In a
word, it was perfect.
    Lance parted his lips and brushed his tongue across JC's. In response, JC
parted his lips, allowing Lance's tongue to slip into his mouth.
    JC moaned softly at the feeling of Lance's tongue probing his mouth. He
brought his hands up and wrapped them around Lance's neck, but at that same
moment, Lance pulled back and looked into JC's eyes.
    "So, what's it feel like?" Lance asked with a half smile.
    "Good," JC replied his voice deep with lust.
    Lance chuckled lightly, but was interrupted as JC pulled him into another
kiss. JC leaned back and pulled Lance on top of him as they continued making
out.

*     *     *

    "Es-tu bon?" Angelique asked softly.
    Justin sighed and lifted his head off her shoulder. He wiped his eyes,
but the tears were long dry.
    "Oui, je suis bon," he answered without thinking. He turned and looked at
Angelique with a smile.
    "Are you sure you're all right?" Angelique demanded.
    Justin laughed a little.
    "Yes, I'm sure. I'm fine, Angel," Justin sighed. Justin was quiet for a
moment. Then he said," JC shouldn't have reacted that way."
    Angelique nodded and waited for Justin to go on.
    "He had no right to judge me like that. I thought he would understand. I
thought we were friends," Justin said angrily.
    "Je sais, Justin," Angelique agreed," I know."
    "I'm really mad," Justin laughed stating the obvious.
    "You should talk to him. And I do mean talk! That involves no yelling,"
Angelique giggled. "Tell him what's on your mind. Tell him, what he did
really hurt you ... just tell him."
    Justin stared out over the rippling water of the pool, trying to think of
what he would say.
    Justin sighed and stood up. He reached a hand down and pulled Angelique
up off the ground. She dusted herself off, then looked up at Justin.
    "I'm going to go talk to him," Justin decided.
    Angelique nodded her approval.
    Justin took a deep breath as he looked up at JC's bedroom window.
    "I don't really want to do this," Justin whined.
    Angelique reached out to give Justin a hug.
    "Yes, you do, Justin. If he can't be understanding and if he can't be a
friend, you don't want him."
    "But that's the problem, Angelique! As rude and inconsiderate and
downright mean as he was... I still want him," Justin muttered. He
intertwined his hands with Angelique's and turned to walk towards the house.

*     *     *

    "Dude, you did not need another pair of sunglasses," Joey laughed as he
and Chris grabbed their shopping bags out of the car.
    "Well, I don't have any like these yet. And it doesn't matter anyways!
You didn't need another Superman tee-shirt, either, but you bought one!"
Chris threw back with a grin.
    "That's different," Joey responded as he closed the door.
    "How!?" Chris yelled.
    "Because... I collect Superman," Joey tried lamely.
    "Whatever!" Chris snickered. He pulled his keys out of his pocket and
fumbled to get them in the door.
    "Well, what's your excuse?" Joey asked taking Chris's keys and unlocking
the door.
    "I needed a new pair of sunglasses," Chris laughed as Joey unlocked the
door. The two of them walked into the house, closing the door behind them.
They set their bags down by the door and walked into the living room.
    "Hey, Jonathan," Joey said to the blonde head of hair sitting on the
couch.
    "I'm Joshua! Not Jonathan," the little boy said turning around and
sitting up on his knees.
    Joey did a double take as the unfamiliar voice laughed at him.
    "Sorry, Joshua. You looked like Jonathan for a second. Where'd you come
from?" Joey inquired with one of his genuine smiles.
    The little boy pointed behind Joey to where Angelique and Justin were
standing. Joey and Chris turned to look behind them. They recognized Justin
(obviously), but weren't sure who the woman was.
    "Hi," Chris said sounding confused.
    "Hey guys. What's up?" Justin said casually. Josh hopped off the couch
and ran over to where Justin was standing. Justin reached down and picked
Josh up, resting the little boy on his hip.
    "Joey and Chris, this here, is Josh. And this," Justin said motioning to
Angelique," is Angelique, also known as, Angel, 'that chick Justin's always
on the phone with', and 'Justin's woman'."
    Joey and Chris blushed at the use of their nicknames for Angelique.
    "Yes," Justin laughed," to answer your question, she really does exist."
    Justin turned and walked up the stairs still holding Josh on his hip. He
walked quickly down the hallway, stopping momentarily to point out his room
to Josh. He continued down the hall to JC's room. When, he reached the door,
he knocked confidently, expecting a confrontation with JC, but there was no
response.
    Justin carefully opened the door and peered into the room. There was no
sign of JC anywhere in the room. Justin took a quick look around the room and
realized after a moment that JC's keys were missing. He turned around and
walked out of the room, closing the door securely.
    "Hey, do you guys know where JC went?" Justin questioned as he jogged
down the stairs.
    Joey and Chris looked at each other and then at Justin.
    "No, but my best guess is check with Lance," Joey said.
    Justin nodded. He handed Josh to Angelique and walked over to the phone.
He quickly dialed Lance's house number.
    The phone rang once . . . twice . . . three times. . .
    "Hello?" Lance's deep voice sounded out of breath.
    "Yo, Lansten, have you seen JC? I need to talk to him," Justin inquired.
    "Um ... yeah," Lance replied slowly. "He's right here."
    Justin heard a hand cover the phone, a muffled voice say something, and
some shuffling before JC's voice came over the line.
    "Hey, Curly. What's up?" JC asked casually.
    "Uh, we, you and I, need to talk about what happened earlier," Justin
told him nervously.
    "Oh, okay. Well, how 'bout I come over in about a half an hour?" JC
suggested.
    "Could it be any sooner? And can you bring Lance?" Justin asked less
nervous now. "I want it to be a group meeting."
    "Okay, sure thing, Justin. We'll be right over. See ya in a while," JC
said hanging up the phone.
    Justin pulled the phone away from his ear and looked at it funny, before
slowly lowering it back onto the charger. He looked over at Angelique and
gave her a funny look.
    "Est-ce qu'il était bon?" Angelique asked worriedly.
    "No," Justin replied a little confused," he's fine. And he's anything but
pissed."
    Justin shrugged and smiled. He turned to Chris and Joey, who were looking
at him funny.
    "We're going to have a group meeting in about twenty minutes," Justin
announced. "Claim your place and make yourself comfortable. It's gonna be a lo
ng meeting."

*     *     *

    Lance and JC left Lance's house almost immediately after Justin's call
... and a little straightening up. They got to Justin's about fifteen minutes
later.
    JC pulled his car into the driveway and turned off the engine. Lance took
off his seat belt and moved to get out of the car, but JC placed a hand on
his arm.
    Lance turned around to face his friend with a concerned look.
    "Lance, I don't want to say anything yet," JC pleaded. "I just want to be
sure about what is going on, before I say anything."
    Lance smiled and nodded.
    "That's fine, J. I didn't tell you guys immediately either," Lance agreed.
    JC smiled and squeezed Lance's hand before grabbing his keys and climbing
out of the car.
    The couple walked into the house and immediately into the living room,
knowing that's where all of their meetings were held. Everyone else was
already there, so the meeting started as soon as they walked into the room.
    "Hey guys, take seat. I have some news," Justin said taking charge.
    Lance sat in the last free chair, and JC sat on the floor in front of him.
    "Well, JC already knows, and I'm assuming Lance probably knows too now,
but neither of you know the whole story," Justin said. Angelique who had been
standing in the doorway with Josh on her hip walked a step further into the
room.
    "Guys, this is Angelique. Angelique this is Chris, Joey, JC, and Lance,"
Justin pointed out each guy as he said their name. Angelique waved lightly at
all of them.
    Justin reached out and took Josh from her. He set the little boy on his
lap facing his friends.
    "Okay. Before I start, you have to promise to let me tell my story, and
not interrupt me," Justin demanded. He looked around to all the guys. All of
them nodded all right, including JC.
    Justin took a deep breath.
    "All right ... where to start," he muttered to himself.
    "Le commencement," Angelique said only loud enough for him to hear.
    "That might be a good place ... the beginning."
    Justin looked down at Josh who was playing with his shoe laces, trying to
pull them out of the holes in his shoes. It made Justin laugh.
    "For those of you who don't know," Justin began," this adorable little
kid with the funny hair ... is mine." Justin took a deep breath and continued.
    "His name is Joshua Randall Timberlake. He was born on June 26th, 1996.
Yes, Lance, that would make him four. I can see the wheels turning in your
head," Justin laughed.
    "Any questions so far?" Justin asked.
    The guys shook their heads no.
    "As long as you plan to tell us more," Joey threw in with a laugh.
    Justin chuckled, but quickly became serious.
    "When we were in Sweden recording 'I Want You Back'. I was really
unhappy," Justin started. "It was so many things at once, but among other
things, JC and I were fighting. Anyways... On the first day we were there, I
met Angelique. We sort of ran into each other, literally. We talked and
talked, and then, the day before we had to leave, we decided to go skiing,
only I wasn't very good, and, so, I ended up twisting my ankle and we went
back to Angel's hotel so I could rest it and get some ice."
    "We went back to her hotel and played around there for most of the
afternoon. Somewhere, during the course of the afternoon we ended up ...
getting intimate. Now, I don't really remember much how it happened because
we also had some vodka along the way there," Justin rushed the last part out
hoping the guys would miss it.
    "Um, we had to leave and Angelique and I meant to keep in touch, but it
just didn't happen. It wasn't until January of '96 that we got in touch
again. Do you remember that day we were in the studio, and I got that
'emergency call'?"
    "Yeah, I remember that. Management was pissed because they didn't know
who it was and your mom wouldn't tell them," Lance piped up.
    Justin nodded.
    "Angelique was pregnant. My mom was pissed, for lack of a better word. We
talked a lot for the next few months, we got really close. In June, I got a
phone call from Angel, and she said she was going to have the baby. Mom and I
hoped the first plane to Paris and took a cab to Angel's house. We got there
and I met her parents for the first time ... they hated me. They were
furious. They told me I had ruined Angelique's future. I was so upset."
    "Anyway, Angelique came out and told me she wanted me to see the baby.
So, I went into the hospital room and there was the most beautiful baby boy I
had ever seen," Justin said with pride in his voice.
    "Angelique said that she hadn't named him because she wanted me too, so I
named him after you, Joshua, 'cause yours was the first name that came into
my mind."
    JC smiled at Justin and then looked up at Lance who mouthed the words, 'I
told you so.'
    "I've been a good father," Justin told his friends. "The best I can be
for my situation. I send 4800 Francs a month, which is about 800 dollars--"
    "Which is very helpful," Angelique threw in with a smile.
    Justin sighed and looked down at his little boy, who was now curled up
against his chest, on the verge of sleep.
    "Jet lag," he muttered.
    Everyone was silent for a few moments, trying to take in all the
information. JC on the other hand studied his best friend. Justin looked like
he would make a good father. JC watched as Justin reached down and brushed a
stray curl off Josh's forehead and let his finger's run down the little boy's
soft, baby cheek. JC couldn't help but smile. He knew Justin was a good
father. He couldn't be anything but a good father.

*     *     *

TBC. . .
Questions, comments, and criticism at DivaKitT@aol.com