Date: Wed, 5 Jul 2000 10:57:06 -0700 (PDT) From: Nick Moore Subject: Kevin & Dustin Chapter 36 Warning: This story contains acts of a sexual nature between Kevin Richardson and a partly fictional character. In no way is this story real, if only though. The name has been changed of my character It is not meant to reflect on Kevin, Nick, or Brian of the Backstreet Boys. If you are under 18, please leave, if homosexual acts offend you, I ask you to leave. Or if it is illegal in your town, state, country, etc. I also ask you to leave. If not, please enjoy. Some other stories about the Backstreet Boys or N'SYNC you might like to read are the following: My Night With Howie D. Brian & Justin, Just Beginning, N'SYNC Love, Nick & Brian, Loving BSB, Boy Meets BSB, Nick & Adam, Just-JC, Rob & Lance, Devon & Lance, Brian & Cody, Bad Boy B-Rok, Bangin' B-Rok, Home, The One, Soul Mates, Nick & Justin, N'SYNC Lance & JC, N'SYNC & The Vamps, The JC Chronicles, Beryl Saga, Questions of Faith, Crash with Fame, Getting Reacquainted, Separate Lives, Show Me the Meaning, Don't Wanna Lose, All Grown Up, Escape, Choices, Whispers in the Night, Kevin & Justin, and many others. Send all comments to my new e-mail address at author_nm@yahoo.com Now just to remind you this story is completely fantasy and it is not meant to be taken for reality. I do not know what the boys are currently doing or where they are so this story will not be based on what they are actually doing in the present. Since I have depicted both Kevin and Brian as gay, I do hope you know that this is a fantasy, and in no way true. Kevin and Brian are both engaged to two people they obviously love very much, so I just want to wish them all the happiness in the world...they deserve it. So without further wait here is the next installment to Kevin & Dustin. Oh...one more thing real quick. This part does contain a scene in which Dustin goes for guidance from a priest. I just wanted to let everyone know up front, so I wouldn't offend anyone in his or her beliefs and such. Kevin & Dustin Part 36 By: NM "All right...lets talk." Brian said shutting the door to his room. "Please sit." He said while sitting down. I sat down and looked over to him. "What happened, well almost happened shouldn't have." I said simply. "Because I love Kevin. And you love Nick. And neither of us want to hurt them." I explained. Brian nodded. "I don't want to hurt anyone." He said. "But when I'm with you..." he began. "When I'm with you the whole world stops." He said quietly. `Damn. I hadn't expected that.' I thought. "But what about Nick?" "Where do I begin?" Brian huffed. "Things were great at first, but later on when we would have an argument they would go a lot further and last longer until one of us apologized to the other." Brian explained. "Like just now when Nick stormed out." He gave an example. "It was a stupid little argument about what we wanted to do until the show tonight." He said. "We always do what he wants to, I wanted to do what I wanted to for once." He explained. "And maybe we weren't meant to be together in this sense. Maybe we were meant to be just friends." He said while a tear fell down his face. Out of instinct I moved my hand to wipe the tear away. When I did, and started to pull back Brian grabbed my hand and kept it to his face. "Brian we shouldn't--," I began. "I know." He sighed. "But I want to." He pleaded. "And somewhere I think you do to." He said moving closer to me. "Brian, what about Kevin and Nick?" "Lets not worry about everyone else. Just concentrate on the moment. Let go, and just trust your heart." Brian said poetically. "Bri, my head says go. And that this is wrong." I said quietly. "But my heart says yes." I said as tears fell down my cheek. "What do I do?" I pleaded. "If I'm with one, then the other is hurt. I don't want either of you to be hurt." "I don't want anyone to get hurt either. But what happens to us when we get hurt?" "We deal." I said quietly. "I'm sorry Bri." I said getting up. "But I cant." I said heading for the door. "Dustin wait." Brian said jumping up. "How many people did you date before you were with Kevin?" "One. She was my girlfriend for a long time. We split up, but are still friends." I explained. "Was there anyone else?" "No. What are you getting at?" "I just worry about you. You haven't experienced life yet, and you already want to spend the rest of it with one person. Your only 18." He said. "But I love him." "How do you know? What if you are just having real intense feelings for Kevin?" "I know what love is, at least to me." I said. "To me love is where you wake up thinking about that person and they are the last thought before you go to sleep. They are always there for you no matter what. You cant go a day without seeing them." I explained. "And there wasn't a day that went by that all I did was think about Kevin, and just wish to see him again when we were apart last year." I said. "Love is where you can talk to that person about anything." I added. "So yes Bri, I think I know what love is. And I do love him. And I'm sorry if that hurts you." I said leaving. "Have you told Kevin about whats happening between us?" Brian asked boldly. I froze in my tracks and turned to look at him. He was just standing there, and I knew when he saw my tear streaked face he regretted it. "Dustin I'm sorry." He apologized quickly. "I didn't mean for it to--" he began. "Don't, Bri. Don't do that." I said. I walked down the hall and stopped at our room. I cleared my face up and grabbed my key from my pocket. I put my key back in my pocket and went further down the hall to another room. I knocked on the door. I heard some shuffling in the room and finally the door opened. "Hey Dustin. Whats going on?" he asked. "I umm...well I..." I started. "Have you been crying?" he asked pulling me into his room. "Did Kev do something? Did you guys have a fight?" he asked. "No, we didn't fight." "Then what happened?" he demanded. "Bri." I said quietly. "Brian...I don't understand, what happened with Brian?" he asked. "Something." I said quietly. "Dustin sit down for a minute." He said heading into the bathroom. He came back with a glass of water and a washcloth. He took the washcloth and wiped my face to clear off the tears. "Here take a drink." "Thanks Alex." I said taking a sip of the water. "Now tell me what happened." He said sitting down next to me. "Well umm, please don't hate me for this, because I hate myself enough for the whole world for almost letting it happen." I began. "I'll try." AJ responded. "Something almost happened between Brian and I." I said looking at the ground. "What almost happened?" he asked sitting up fully. "He almost kissed me." I said wiping away another tear. "Well we almost kissed." I said more accurately. "And he said that he and Nick were having some problems, and that he really wanted to be with me." I explained taking another drink of the water. "And my head kept telling me no, and to leave. But my heart was saying yes." I said taking yet another drink. "Dammit Alex, I'm so confused." I said setting the cup down on the table. "Who do you want to be with more?" "I love Kevin more than life itself. He is the reason I wake up everyday now. There isn't a time anymore where I can envision a life without him." I said. "But if I'm with Kevin, then Brian is hurt. I don't want either of them to get hurt." I explained. "D, I think that you are just real overwhelmed." He spoke his mind. "I mean you told me Kevin is the first `real' relationship you have had. Other than Stephanie." He explained. "And you are only 18, and you are already deciding who you will be with for the rest of your life. You haven't experienced life like most people do." He voiced his opinion. "I do think that you and Kevin are perfect for eachother. I haven't seen Kevin this happy in a long time. He is happy because he is with you." He said. "Please dont take this the wrong way," he began, "But things moved awfully fast between the two of you. Maybe faster than they should have." He explained his words. "Maybe they did," I said under my breath. "What did you say?" he asked. "Nothing...I didn't say anything." I lied. "Thanks for everything Alex, but I should head back. Kev's probably worried." I said standing up. "Your welcome," he said standing as well. "Hey, come here." He said pulling me into a hug. "D, some advice...maybe if you look to God, he might have an answer." Alex said pointing to the sliver cross that adorned my neck. "Thanks." I said pulling away and leaving his room. I walked down the hall and back to the room Kevin and I shared. I took my key and unlocked the door and walked in. Kevin was sitting reading a book. He noticed me come in, and sat the book down. "Hey." He said. "Hey." I replied. Kevin patted to the spot next to him for me to sit down. I moved over to him and sat. He put his arm around my shoulder and kissed my cheek. "You've been gone awhile. Everything all right?" "Ya, I just had to take care of some things." I said. "Did you get it taken care of?" "Not quite." I replied. "I see." He said pulling me closer to him. "Anything I can do to help?" he offered. "No thank you." "Wanna tell me about it?" he asked. "Not right now." I said. I turned around to face him, "But I will as soon as I figure it all out. I promise." I said laying my head on his chest. "This is nice." I whispered. Kevin gently kissed my head and laid his head ontop of mine. "It is." He replied quietly. "But we have to get moving soon, we don't wanna be late." He reminded me. "You know what, I really don't feel like going tonight." I said. "Are you feeling all right?" he asked feeling my forehead. "I feel fine, but um...no offense, I've seen the show before...and well I would like to finish working that stuff out." I said. "Hey its ok. I understand that our shows might not be very fun for you." He agreed. "No they are fun, but I really want to work this out." I said. "Its okay, you don't have to explain." Kevin said getting up. "Ill come to the next show." I said. "I'll hold you to that." He said. "Go get ready." I said kissing him gently. "I'm already ready." He replied. "So, when do you have to be at the arena?" "In about an hour." He replied. "Hmm, what should we do until then?" I asked coyly. "I can think of a few things." Kevin replied. "Like what?" I asked rubbing my hands over his back. "I don't know, like this." He said kissing me passionately. After a moment, I pulled back. "I like that." I giggled. "Do it again." He kissed me again, and we moved over to the bed. He laid me down and proceeded to climb ontop of me. He slowly began to grind into me, while his hands continued to run down my body, while mine ran across his back. "This is great." I moaned. "Ya, it is." He agreed while running his hand across my face. He gently brought his lips back to mine and initiated another electrifying kiss between us. He pulled me into a sitting position and began to remove my shirt. After my shirt was removed he removed his as well. I ran my hands over his strong, smooth chest as I leaned in and kissed his neck and then his shoulder blade. He gently nibbled on my ear causing me to moan in pleasure. His hands found their way to my pants and began to undo the fastener on my jeans. I felt the zipper sliding down, and his hands moving down from my stomach. "Wait!" I said pulling his hands away. "What? Whats wrong?" he asked concerned. "Kev—Kevin please don't take this the wrong way, but...umm...can we not...make love." I asked looking away. He took his hand and placed it under my chin, and turned me to look at him. "Whats wrong?" "I'm not ready. When I was...When Michael kidnapped me, he umm...well he umm...well...he." I stumbled. "He was touching me everywhere, and he removed my clothes, and he had his removed...and he started fondling me." I said starting to cry. "I tried to stop him Kev...I swear I did." I cried out. "But I couldn't. He had me tied and gagged, and I couldn't move or do anything to stop him." I said collapsing in his arms. "Please don't hate me." I begged. "Dustin, I could never hate you for something you couldn't control." Kevin said hugging me tighter. A soft knock was heard through the room. "Ill be right back." He said. He opened the door and the guys were waiting on the other side. "Whats going on?" he asked. "We need to leave for the arena." Brian said. "I'm not going." Kevin stated firmly. "Why? Whats going on?" Howie asked concerned. "Its Dustin." He replied. "Is everything all right?" Nick asked. "No nothing is right anymore." Kevin said stepping out into the hall and shutting the door. "Dustin...he was...that bastard...oh I wanna kill him." Kevin told them full of anger and rage. "What happened!" AJ yelled as quietly as possible. "Michael was...he...molested Dustin." Kevin said slamming a fist on the wall. "Oh my god." Brian gasped. AJ walked past Kevin into our room, while Nick was holding onto Brian, and Howie was just stunned. "Dustin...why didn't you tell me?" AJ asked. "I didn't want to face what happened Alex." I replied quietly. "Oh D." he said grabbing me in a hug. I soon felt more arms around me and soon realized that all the guys were here. "Cuz, you stay with Dustin. We will tell Management you got a flu bug or something." Brian said. "Thanks guys." He replied. "We will be back immediately after the show." Howie spoke for everyone else. "Bye guys." Kevin said. After about on hour of being held by Kevin and him kissing me on the forehead every once in awhile I turned to face him. "Kev, I need to get to a church." I said quietly. "All right I saw one just down the street." He said. "No, that's a Baptist. I'm Catholic." I explained. "Well I'm sure we can find one." He said grabbing my shirt and slipping it back on me. He put his shoes on and grabbed some jackets while I put my shoes on. We left a note for the guys taped to the door of our room, and headed down to the lobby. We had called for a cab, and it was outside waiting. "Where to?" the driver asked. "The nearest Catholic church." Kevin replied. "You got it." The driver said pulling onto the street. After about 20 minutes we were standing outside a Catholic church. I walked in slowly with Kevin, and it was practically empty. I noticed a few nuns walking down a hall, and one nun was in the front of the church praying. I walked up to her with Kevin beside me, and she slowly lifted her head up and looked over to me. "I'm sorry for disturbing you Sister, but I was wondering if a priest was around. I need to confess." I told her. "Yes my child. Please come this way." She said leading me over to a corner where the Confession box was. "Here." She said pointing to the area I would enter. "Thank you Sister." I said. "Your welcome." She replied. "Kevin, you can go back if you want. I'm not sure how long I will be." I said. "Hey," he said taking my hand in his, "I'll wait for you however long it takes." He said squeezing my hand, and then releasing it. "Okay." I said heading into the confession box. I made the cross over my body, and the priest on the other side, opened the sliding section so I could speak to him. "Bless me Father, for I have sinned." I began. "It has been several weeks since my last confession." I said. "No one is perfect my child." The priest responded. "I've meant to, but you see...not too long ago, I was kidnapped. And missing for several days." I explained. "Have you recovered?" the priest asked. "Yes, I think so." I responded. "Father, I have a problem." I said. "What is it my child?" "I'm in love with someone." I said. "Forgive me child, but that does not sound like a problem." He replied. "I love him with all my heart and soul. I want to spend the rest of my life with him." I said. "But, he was the first, and only. This is the first serious relationship I've been." I explained. "Go on." He urged. "Well, umm...something almost happened between me and a friend of his. I was having a hallucination that my kidnapper was after me again, and I ran into him. He took me back to his hotel room with him, because I didn't want to be alone." I said. "He let me stay, and he comforted me...like a friend, trying to get me to open up, so I wouldn't bottle it all up. And he hugged me. We looked into eachother's eyes, and I saw into his soul. And then for a moment, it was as if I could see the atoms and molecules that were responsible for his being." I explained. "Go on." He continued. "We almost kissed, but we didn't." I said. "Then I went to talk about what happened between us later this evening, and it almost happened again." I said. "What almost happened my child?" he asked. "We talked and he asked me to be with him. My brain said no and to leave, but my heart was saying yes." I started crying again. "Father, I'm so confused. I don't want to hurt anyone." I said between tears. "My child how old are you?" he asked. "I'm 18." I replied. "And how old is your lover?" he asked. "28." I responded. "That is a significant age difference. How old were you when you were first intimate with him?" he asked. "What is the relevance of that?" I asked. "I'm just trying to get some information, before I give you my opinion." He said. "I was 17." I answered truthfully. "But I did it completely of my own free will. It was completely my choice. He didn't force me into anything." I said making sure he didn't think I was forced into anything. "So he was your first serious relationship, and at 18 you have decided you want to spend your life with this man. Yes?" he asked. "Ya, I love him." I answered. "Child, I think things have obviously moved very fast between the two of you. He was your first relationship, how do you know he is the one you are to spend your life with?" he asked. "Furthermore, how do you know he feels the same about you? You say he is 28, maybe he is just using you." He suggested. "No, he wouldn't do that." I said firmly. "Child, I think we both know what you need to do, but you have to have the courage to do it, on your own decision. You cant let someone make this decision for you." The priest said. "What do I have to do?" I asked. The priest gave me his advice making sure I was fully aware of what he was saying to me. "I cant do that." I gasped. "You need to." He said. "But Father, I love him." I said. "I know it will be difficult, but you must. You need to." He advised. "Very well Father. Thank you for listening to me." I said. "Your welcome my child." He said shutting the divider. I almost stumbled out of the confession box, and Kevin walked over. "Hey, everything go all right?" "Ya," I lied. "Everything went fine." I said. "Ready to go?" he asked. "Yes." I replied. "Lets go back." I said. We locked pinkie fingers as we walked out of the church and down the street. Kev hailed a cab, and we got in and headed back to the hotel. This time I paid the cab fair, and we headed back up to the 12th floor to our room. "So, did Confession go all right?" "As good as one can go, I suppose." I answered. "Good." He replied. "Well ready to get to bed?" he asked pulling the covers back. "Ya, I'm tired." I said. Kevin slowly took off his shirt and pants and got into bed. "D, are you coming?" he asked. "What?" "Are you coming to bed?" he asked again. "Oh ya." I replied. Hesitantly, I removed my shirt and slowly removed my pants. I crawled under the covers and laid down. I felt Kevin behind me, as he wrapped his arm around me and pulled me close to his chest. I was thinking about some of the things the priest said, and slowly started drifting off to sleep. "I love you." Kevin whispered. "I love you." I said starting to cry again for like the hundredth time today. "D, are you all right?" he asked. "I'm fine...I'm just so glad your in my life." I replied. "Goodnight Kev." I said closing my eyes. "Goodnight my love." He said kissing my neck and snuggling close to me. To Be Continued??? Send all comments to author_nm@yahoo.com I hope you have enjoyed this installment of Kevin & Dustin. I know I had a wonderful time writing it. So what is going to happen between Brian and Dustin? Will Nick and Kevin find out? How did AJ become so involved? What was the advice from the priest? I guess you will just have to wait and find out.