Lance and Martin 7

Previously

Lance nodded and sat up, wiping the tears from his face. "So do you know what happened?" Lance asked.

Chris nodded and sat at the end of the bed. He took a breath before speaking. "Kevin walked up to Martin in the kitchen and kissed him." Lance gasped, but Chris continued. "He told Martin that if you couldn't give him what he wanted, Kevin could." Chris hung his head. "I'm sorry Lance," he added.

Lance was confused. "Why are you sorry Chris?"

Chris looked up and there were tears in his eyes. "I talked to Alex about you and Martin. He obviously repeated things to Kevin."

Lance shook his head and scooted down the bed. He hugged Chris tightly. "It was never meant to be a big secret, Chris. Don't be mad at Alex. Kevin was the one who screwed up, especially if he knows how I feel."

Lance made Chris meet his eyes. "Go. Go talk to Alex, he probably is terrified he lost you. I'll be okay."

Chris looked doubtfully at Lance. Lance smiled and nodded. Satisfied, Chris left the room to look for his lover. JC watched Lance.

"You really are remarkable, James," he said quietly.

Lance looked at him and smiled sadly. "Hey, at least one of us should be happy," he said.

Chapter 7

Martin got in his car and quickly drove away. He didn't want to talk to James at that moment; he needed time to think. Once home, Martin threw his keys on the table and flopped down on the couch.

"What the hell happened?" he asked himself aloud. 'One minute I'm talking to James, enjoying a party, the next minute a man is kissing me. An incredibly good-looking man too. What? Why did I think that? Its true but... and what about James? From what Kevin said, James is interested in being more than just friends. But I'm not looking for that, am I?'

Martin sighed and walked into his bedroom. 'What about all the dreams I've been having?' Martin heard the phone ringing, but decided to let the machine get it. He didn't want to talk to James yet.

He heard the machine pick up.

"Martin? It's... it's James... I ... I wanted to apologize for whatever Kevin did or said... (quiet sob)... I hope you aren't mad at me... I ... please call me Martin. I... I'm sorry." James hung up the phone.

Lance had really wanted to talk to Martin. He needed to make sure Martin wasn't angry. Martin had to keep being his friend. He had to.

Lance had left Justin's without talking to anyone else. He just wanted to be alone and figure out how to fix things with Martin. He knew if he saw any of the 'Boys' he'd say something he'd regret, and what was the point of that. The others hadn't done anything to him. At some point, he and Kevin would have to talk, but not now.

Lance stayed up, waiting and hoping the phone would ring. He eventually fell asleep on the couch.

Martin sat up too; wanting to call James. He could hear how upset James was on the phone message. But he didn't know what to tell the singer. Martin wasn't angry with James and James didn't have anything to apologize for. Martin was just confused and needed space to get a new perspective. He finally decided not to call.

He fell into an exhausted sleep, but not a dreamless sleep. As he had for two weeks, Martin began to dream about a faceless lover. As his lover began to kiss and stroke his body, Martin felt his heart race. He'd never felt anything so erotic, so pleasurable. He gasped as his lover kissed and licked his nipples, slowly moving down his smooth chest. This dream lover was doing things to Martin's body, that he'd never experienced before. In his dream, his lover stroked and suckled on him until he was twisting and turning on the bed in exquisite agony. As Martin's body reached the point of no return and began to spasm, his dream lover raised his head and piercing pale green eyes smiled up at Martin.

Martin sat up straight in bed, panting for breath. As he got up to grab a drink, he realized that it hadn't all been a dream. His boxers were soaked in his own juices. Those green eyes - he knew them. Martin changed and grabbed a drink of water. He flopped back on the bed and tried to think about other things. His mind was obsessing about James and confusing him further. Instead, he thought about Kaylie. She would be arriving in L.A. in a week and Martin had to meet her, before they flew back to Orlando. He should make plans for things the two of them would do together. He finally fell back asleep, thinking about his daughter and her visit.

The next couple of days, Martin was busy at work, training a new assistant manager. He didn't hear anything from James or any of the others, for which he was grateful. His nights were still filled with erotic dreams. In each dream, the face of his dream lover got clearer and clearer although Martin already knew who it was.

The fourth day after the party, the lunch hour rush was ending around two when a couple of new customers walked into the restaurant. Martin was already at the front so he walked over to seat them. He glanced up and froze for a moment.

"Josh. And you're... Brian right?" Martin said to the two men. Brian nodded. Martin sighed silently and led the men to the table he and Lance always sat at.

"Martin," JC began. "Could you please sit, please?" JC pleaded.

Martin reluctantly nodded and sat down. "I'm not sure why you two are here, this doesn't really involve either of you," he said.

Josh shook his head. "No Martin, you're wrong. We're family, Just, Joey, Chris, James and I, and Brian and his group. When one of us screws up, or is hurting, it affects all of us."

"I'm not here to make excuses for my cousin," Brian began. "But we wanted you to know that it won't ever happen again and we hope you don't hold it against the rest of us."

Martin looked at Brian for a minute. "Kevin is you cousin?" he asked, trying to clarify what Brian said. Brian nodded. Martin shrugged. "Why would I hold it against you for what one person did. Besides, its not like he killed someone or anything. It just shocked me."

JC touched Martin's hand to get his attention. "I'm here for one reason only - James. You may not know what he's gone through in the past, but... all I ask that if you're going to be his friend, regardless of what Kevin did or said, then please call him and tell him. If, on the other hand, you decide that you don't want to be a part of his life, then please, call him and tell him that. Martin, please don't leave him hanging in the wind. He cares about you a lot, and it will hurt him if you cut him off, but better that than toying with him and dangling hope in his face." Martin listened as JC spoke intently about James. At first Martin felt himself getting angry that JC was giving him an ultimatum, then he realized just how much JC cared for James. He was trying to protect him. Martin couldn't remember ever having someone in his life like that.

Martin sat quietly for a moment thinking about what JC said. Finally, he nodded. "Fair enough Josh. I'll call James tonight and talk to him."

JC smiled. "Thank you."

Martin stood. "So are you two here to eat?" he asked.

JC and Brian nodded. "Remember the first day we met? We promised to bring a friend in who was a cheese addict." JC nodded in Brian's direction.

Martin grinned. "Gotcha. Two cheese soups coming up."

Later that night, Martin picked up the phone and dialed.

"Hello?"

"James, its Martin."

"Hey," Lance said softly.

"James, could you come over for a while, so we can talk?" Martin asked quietly.

"Uh, sure, Martin. I can be there in thirty."

"Okay, see ya then," Martin said and hung up.

Lance was afraid. He couldn't tell what Martin was thinking. 'Please don't cut him out of my life', he prayed silently. Lance quickly changed and ran out to the car. The past four days had been hell. He'd barely been able to function at the studio, and he'd refused to talk to any of the guys about Martin. He hadn't wanted to push Martin so he didn't call after that first night. He had left it to Martin to make the next move, just like when they were first becoming friends. Fortunately, Martin had called, both times.

Lance could feel his heart racing as he walked up to the apartment building where Martin lived. He buzzed Martin's number and the door was unlocked. Lance took a couple of deep breaths before knocking on Martin's apartment door.

Martin opened the door and smiled slightly at Lance, allowing him to walk into the apartment. "Hi James," he said softly.

"Martin," Lance acknowledged his friend with a nod as he walked into the living room. He stood in the middle of the room, unsure what he should do. Martin walked in behind him and sat down on a chair.

"James, please, take a seat," Martin said. He hated how formal he sounded but he was still unsure about everything.

Lance sat on the couch and glanced at Martin. "I don't know what to say, Martin," Lance said softly.

Martin could hear the sadness in Lance's voice and was sorry he'd caused it. "James," he said quietly. "I need to know, are you interested in being more than friends?" Martin decided to get straight to the heart of everything. He needed to know what Lance was thinking.

Lance's eyes flickered over to Martin again, before he looked down at the floor. "Martin... I... like you... a lot. But if all we are is friends... I still want you in my life. But... I... I... " Lance couldn't avoid the question he'd been asked. "If you're interested, I would like to see if we could be more than friends," Lance finally got out. He still couldn't meet Martin's gaze.

Despite thinking about it for a number of days, Martin was still a little surprised when Lance admitted it. He wasn't ready to respond to Lance's admission. "Can I ask you something else, James?" Martin asked softly. Lance nodded. "How much... experience... do you have? I mean, you're so young, yet you seem so sure of yourself. Have you had many boyfriends?"

Lance shuddered at the question as it brought back memories of his only lover. Lance shook his head. "No," he whispered. "Not much experience. I've only had one lover before, Martin, and it didn't end well," he admitted softly.

"What happened?" Martin asked. The tenderness in his voice finally drew Lance's gaze upward, so their eye met.

Lance could see the compassion and interest, and something else, in Martin's gaze. "It was about three years ago," Lance began, deciding Martin deserved to know. "I had just admitted to myself and the guys that I was gay. One of the technical guys started talking to me. Brad, was his name. We became friends and then we became more. He was so sweet to me, I really thought he cared about me. We dated on the tour for a few months." Lance paused before telling all. "I thought he loved me and I loved him. I finally gave him what he wanted... me!" Lance's voice dropped to a whisper. "It turns out he'd had a bet going with a number of the other technicians about getting me to sleep with him. It was all a big game to him." Lance couldn't stop the tears as the memories he'd tried to lock away came flooding back.

Martin regretted pushing Lance when he heard the story. He felt his heart twisting in his chest as he felt the hurt and betrayal that Lance had endured. Martin walked over and knelt in front of Lance. He gently clasped his trembling hands and looked up at the pale green eyes. "I'm so sorry you were betrayed like that James," Martin whispered. "No one should have their heart crushed like that." Martin couldn't stand seeing the pain in Lance's eyes and rose to sit beside Lance. He pulled the younger man against him and held him.

Lance finally released the tears as he leaned against Martin's chest. Lance couldn't believe how wonderful it felt to be held by Martin. Lance clung to Martin and let his tears fall. After Brad had broken his heart, Lance had locked his hurt and pain away. He hadn't really talked about it with his friends, and he had refused to cry. It was Martin's genuine concern and tenderness that finally broke through the barrier.

All Martin could do was hold tightly while sobs wracked Lance's body. He could feel his own anger growing that someone could be that cold and spiteful to play such a game. Martin leaned back against the couch, keeping his arms tightly around Lance. Lance curled up on the couch, leaning heavily against the older man.

Gradually his sobs calmed, leaving Lance trembling from the emotional drain. Martin loosened his grip, but didn't move away from Lance. He softly ran his hand up and down Lance's back, while Lance took some shaky deep breaths.

Finally Lance pulled back slightly so he could see Martin's face. "I'm sorry," he murmured.

Martin smiled tenderly at Lance. "What are you apologizing for James? You didn't do anything wrong and obviously you needed to let that all out." Martin paused and looked directly into the light green eyes, gently wiping the wet streaks from the pale skin. "James, I will never play games with your emotions like that, I promise," he vowed.

Lance stared at Martin, unsure of what Martin was really saying. He was emotionally and physically exhausted. The past few days he'd been so worried about never seeing Martin again, his emotions were completely unstable and he hadn't been sleeping well. Added to the emotional roller coaster he'd just been on, his body began to shut down. Lance blinked rapidly, trying to force himself to stay awake.

Martin could read the exhaustion on Lance's face and felt guilty, knowing he was partly responsible. He stood up from the couch and pulled Lance with him. Lance stumbled as he began to walk so Martin turned around and picked him up. He walked down the short hall to one of the bedrooms. Gently laying Lance down on the bed, Martin could see that he was already asleep. He pulled off Lance's shoes and covered him with a blanket. Before leaving the side of the bed, Martin leaned down and softly kissed Lance's forehead.

"I'm sorry James," he whispered. Martin walked out of the room, shutting off the light and closing the door as he left.

Martin's own emotions were also in a state of flux. He admitted to himself that he felt something for Lance, but exactly what, he still wasn't sure. Walking back to the living room, Martin spotted Lance's jacket and cell phone.

He picked up the phone and hit the speed dial. JC answered the phone.

"Hello."

"Hi, Josh, its Martin."

"Martin? Is everything okay?" JC asked in concern.

"Yeah. I thought I'd let someone know that James is here. He was completely spent and fell asleep, so if anyone is looking for him, I wanted you to know," Martin explained.

"Oh. How are things Martin?" JC wanted to know.

Martin sighed. "We've talked. He told me about Brad. I think that was what finally drained him. But we still need to talk some more." Martin paused. "Does he have to be anywhere tomorrow?" he asked JC.

JC thought about it for a moment. "We're supposed to be back in the studio. But if you want to spend the time with him, and you can convince him to stay, we can work around him. Tell him I'll take care of it."

"Thanks Josh. I know you really care about James and he's lucky to have such a good friend."

"Thanks Martin. You take care of him, okay? Bye."

Martin shut off the phone and set it on the table. He sat back down on the couch and stared across the room, losing himself to his thoughts. He replayed the events of the past few weeks over in his mind, starting back from the first time he'd met Lance.

He smiled to himself as he remembered Kelley's reaction to the two men as they waited to be seated. He thought about Lance coming back and offering to show Martin the town. Despite the celebrity status, he acted and wanted to be treated like a regular guy. Martin frowned then as he recalled the fear on Lance's face when they were in the grocery store and the crowd of fans chased them.

The more Martin thought about it, he realized that over the past couple of weeks he thoughts were focused on only two people, his daughter and Lance. Somehow, Lance had become an integral part of his life.

Martin moved his thoughts to the dreams he'd been having. The powerful erotic dreams had started soon after he met Lance, and the past few nights he'd been able to see his dream lover's face, Lance's face. When he thought about the dreams, and pictured Lance in his mind, his body responded immediately. The dreams had given him pleasure never experienced or imagined before; Lance was giving him the incredible pleasure.

"Martin?"

A soft voice snapped Martin back to reality. He looked up and saw Lance standing in the hallway, watching him. Martin's eyes quickly glanced over Lance's clothed body. 'God, he is beautiful,' Martin thought, and this time, he didn't question himself.

Martin slowly walked over to Lance. "I thought you were sleeping?" he asked quietly.

Lance wiped his bloodshot eyes. "I was. I woke up and couldn't remember where I was," he said in a small voice.

Martin reached out and took Lance's hand, leading him back to the spare bedroom. Once in the room, he turned to face Lance and began to undress him. He pulled his shirt up over his head. Martin's eyes quickly took in the smooth, solid chest. Lance simply stood silently and allowed Martin to work. Martin unbuttoned and unzipped Lance's jeans, letting them fall to the floor. Lance stepped out of them, remaining clothed in his boxers only. Martin led Lance to the side of the bed and held back the covers as the singer crawled onto the soft mattress.

Tucking the covers around Lance, Martin sat down on the side of the bed. He looked at Lance, who was staring at Martin sleepily. "I let Josh know you were here," he said quietly.

Lance yawned and nodded. "Thanks," he murmured.

"He said that if you want to stay here and talk tomorrow, they can work around you, and he'd take care of it," Martin continued.

Lance focused his gaze on Martin. "Would you like that?" he whispered.

Martin smiled and nodded. "Yes."

"Okay," Lance replied and rolled onto his side, hugging tightly to the pillow.

Martin gently ran his fingers through Lance's hair before standing. "Good night James," he whispered.

"Night Martin," Lance whispered back as Martin closed the bedroom door and walked across the hall to his own room.

Martin went to the bathroom before stripping out of his clothes, down to his boxers and climbing into bed. His mind was racing, and his heart was racing. He could clearly picture Lance in his mind. He wanted to feel that smooth flesh he'd just seen; he wanted to know what that flesh tasted like. Despite his confusion, Martin soon fell asleep; the weight of the past few days finally taking its toll.

kenitra_canada@hotmail.com