Date: Fri, 24 Aug 2001 12:21:40 -0700 (PDT) From: Jim Higgins Subject: Lance's Story: Sentimental Journey Hey everyone! So here's the first formal chapter of Lance's story. Ya, I know the prologue really didn't tell you much... just gave you a little glimpse of what happened to Lance and JC over November and December. Unfortunately, you'll have to wait a little longer to get the details... (I'm so evil) But the last line of the prologue did say: "Staring up at the ceiling he started remembering." Please feel free to email me with comments and suggestions for the story. I always consider everything sent to me and usually most of it gets used. As usual: This story is purely fiction and is not intended to imply anything about the true sexuality of 'N Sync or anyone associated with their organization or the reality of their lives. It is meant for those over the age of 18 only and those who wish to read stories with sexual content. *********** Lance's Story *********** Chapter One - Sentimental Journey "Gonna take a sentimental journey Gonna set my heart at ease Gonna make a sentimental journey To renew old memories Got my bag, I got my reservation Spent each dime I could afford Like a child in wild anticipation Long to hear that 'all aboard!'" James Lance Bass had almost the perfect childhood. He and his older sister never had to ask more than twice before they got what they wanted. Lance's father, Jim Bass, loved his family dearly and succeeded well at making them happy. But inside, Lance wasn't happy. The onset of puberty gave young Lance strange thoughts and feelings and there was no one that he thought he could talk to. So he dealt as best as he could. He laughed with his friends when they made comments about girls. He ooo'd and aahh'd with them over the Playboys that they got from an older brother. He even dated some of the girls from his class. Lance was miserable. All he could think of was Bobby walking around in his tight jeans showing off his muscular butt. Of John and the cute way the muscles in his forearm jumped when he played pinball. And most especially Michael and the way he looked in a jockstrap in the locker room. He was in his own little hell, felt all alone and saw no way out of it. Lance knew he was gay, knew from almost the very beginning of his sexual awakening. Being a good student, he read alot, on this subject in particular, and retained most. Knowing what he was didn't stop him from denying it. One late summer day while walking through town he noticed another boy a few years older than him. The boy smiled as he passed and Lance smiled back. Lance thought he was beautiful, dark hair and blue eyes on a slight frame. Not knowing what to do he stopped at a store down the street and watched him from the window as he crossed the street and disappeared from sight. All the emotions and needs boiled just under the surface as he pretended to read the comic books. Lance never saw him again but the memories remained firmly impressed. Early on Lance had found that he loved to sing and was always involved in any type of chorus in school. When an announcement came about a group that traveled the region giving concerts to area schools, he begged his mother to join. The group, called the Showstoppers, was well known around Mississippi, and with a little checking, Diane Bass, agreed to let Lance participate. The time Lance spent with the group helped him forget about how different he was. His parents, ever willing to support their children and assure that Lance would succeed, payed for Lance to see a voice teacher. While with group, he was a member of the team, that guy 'Lance.' He was the shy kid with the quiet sense of humor and deep voice that promised to get deeper as he matured. Lance flourished socially in that atmosphere and had many friends. When Lance entered High School he found a whole new world of biases and prejudices. The regional school that he and his sister attended was a melting pot. Lance ignored most of went on by hiding behind his shy exterior and he was pretty much left alone by flying under the radar. He continued singing in school as well as with the Showstoppers. At the start of his Junior year, Lance first realized what a crush really was during drama club. His friend Derrick always got the lead roles and Lance looked up to him. They got along well and found it easy to talk to each other. Lance hoped in his heart that Derrick was interested in him the same way he was interested in Derrick but he was too scared to say anything. He contented himself to admire from a distance and hold in his feelings. One night when Lance was over at Derrick's house they started talking. It wasn't the usual 'isn't this class hard' or 'what did you think about that movie' talk. They started talking about their dreams, what they wanted to do with their lives. Lance had always dreamed of being an astronaut while Derrick planned on law school. They shared things with each other that they hadn't with their families. Lance never knew how it happened but suddenly he and Derrick were kissing. Their lips met tentatively and before Lance knew it Derrick's tongue was in his mouth. Instead of being disgusted Lance found himself getting extremely excited. Finally the feeling of completeness, of knowing what it was all about came over Lance as their hands started exploring as well. Finally he had found someone that felt like him. Lance went home on a cloud and fell asleep for the first time in a long while with a smile on his face. The next day he couldn't wait to see Derrick after school. After the bell they hung out before heading home. Over the next few days they would meet at Derrick's house and talk for a bit then kiss. These encounters never went farther than curious groping and rubbing but Lance didn't care. It was too good to be true and Lance was to experience his first heart break. Derrick, after much beating around the bush, confided to Lance that, although he liked him very much, just couldn't do that with him anymore. Lance became angry when Derrick wouldn't give him a good valid reason and they started yelling at each other. The only thing he got from Derrick was that he didn't know if that's what he wanted. The rejection stung Lance badly. He left Derrick sitting in the park and went home vowing that his life was going to be different. Derrick dropped out of drama to join the debate club. They grew distant and eventually stopped talking altogether. Lance was 16 and he didn't want to hide it anymore. He waited for the time that he could share and end his isolation, gathering his courage. Late that fall it all changed. A phone call came that was destined to change his life forever. ------ Lance and his mother exited the plane, he was practically dragging her. "Come on Mama, they're waiting for us!" he exclaimed excitedly. After two weeks of phone calls he was finally going to meet the other four guys. "I'm going as fast as I can, honey. You go ahead and I'll catch up." Lance looked back at his mother to make sure it was truly ok. Diane Bass smiled back at her son, her baby, and shooed him on. Racing to the gate, Lance stopped just beyond it. A small group waited off to the side and he recognized JC from his days in the Mickey Mouse Club. The boy next to him must have been Justin although he had certainly grown up in the last year since the show. Lance was worried. His mother was very disapproving right from the very beginning of the whole venture. Never one to deny her son anything, she had reluctantly agreed to let Lance see if this was worth the effort after much pleading and begging. His vocal coach had vouched for the sincerity of at least Justin's desire to succeed in this business. Lance hoped that the guys were as cool as they seemed over the phone. He walked up to them and they all smiled at each other. Lance nervously stuck his hand out to JC who was the closest. Up close and in person, he was as perfect as anybody could be. His piercing blue eyes pulled Lance in. "Hi, my name's James Bass, but everybody calls me Lance, that's my middle name, because my father's name is James, too." Justin giggled a little at the slightly nerdy introduction. JC smiled at Lance warmly and took his hand. Everyone joined in on the introductions and soon all five boys were talking at once and not missing a beat in any conversation. At first Lance felt a little left out as they all seemed to know each other so well. JC and Justin made sure to pull him into the conversations and make him welcome. It amazed Diane and Justin's mother, Lynn, just how well they clicked from the first minute. They left the airport and Diane asked where she could find a good hotel. Lynn wouldn't hear of it. "We've got plenty of room. You can have the guest room, Diane. JC has agreed to bunk with Justin for a little while and Lance can have his room. Once you head home, Lance can move into the guest room if you agree he can stay." Diane started to object but was over-ruled by Lynn. "No, I insist. This way we can get to know each other better, too. Plus it will be nice to have another adult around to talk to for a little while." Chris grabbed Lance by the shoulders and pulled him along as they left the terminal. "Come on, Lansten, lets show you the side of Orlando that only residents see." "Lansten?" Lance questioned. "Just a nickname. I just made it up. If you don't like it..." "Oh, no, it's fine. I've not heard that one before, it's better than some of the others." Joey caught up to them on the other side. "Like 'Lance, Lance ants in your pants'?" Justin giggled loudly. Lance paled and stopped moving abruptly. Diane heard the exchange and took a step to her son but was held back by Lynn's hand on her arm. "Hold on, Diane. Let them deal with this." "W-w-why did you s-s-say that?" Lance stuttered. JC looked at Joey with disapproval. "Come on, Joe. Leave him be." Joey looked at Lance in apology. "I'm sorry, buddy. I just popped into my head. I didn't know it would hurt you so bad. I'm really sorry." Lance sighed relieved. "It's ok, Joey. I guess that bruise hasn't really healed. There were bullies at school that used to call me that." Lance shuddered at the memory and Joey hugged him around the shoulders. Lance smiled up at him and flicked his nose with a finger. "Hey!" Joey yelled as Lance ran off with Joey and Chris giving chase. Not to be left out, Justin followed them with a loud laugh. JC looked back at the two mothers shrugged and jogged after them. "See," Lynn said as she and Diane walked slowly toward the exit, "they're bonding already. I can predict that they'll be tight for the rest of their lives." Diane nodded with a smile. ------ Later that night Lance was getting ready for bed. Standing in a T-shirt and boxers, he was looking at the pictures on the bookcase when a soft tapping came from the door. "Lance, you awake?" a voice whispered through it. "Come on in, JC." JC came into the room and Lance felt his heart stop. There he stood shirtless and in a pair of boxer briefs. "Please, call me Josh, Lance, that's what I like my friends to call me," he smiled. "I'll only be a minute, I need to grab a couple of things." Lance smiled back and nodded. He went over and tidied his clothes a little appearing to look busy while stealing looks at the 19 year old when he thought he wasn't being watched. The thin muscular frame set Lance's head spinning. 'How am I ever going to survive this,' he thought to himself while sneaking glances at what was concealed behind the front of JC's briefs. "This is gonna be great, huh?" Lance sat on the bed slightly dazed. "Earth to Lance!" JC called. "Oh, sorry," Lance giggled. "What did you ask?" JC crossed over to stand beside Lance. "I asked if you thought this would be great." Lance smiled. "I can't wait. I sure hope that I can give you guys what you need." His pulse started quickening. With JC standing so close Lance could smell his cologne. "I think we'll be ok. Your vocal coach can't say enough good things about you and what little I heard of you singing earlier, you have nothing to worry about." Lance nodded. "Um, Josh..." he began and then JC was flying onto the bed, Justin attached to his waist. "Hey, bathroom's free!" he giggled as he wrestled with JC who finally pushed him off the bed and onto the floor with a thump. "Thanks, Just, but just telling me would've been ok too." "Aw, what's the fun in that," Justin laughed from the floor. JC laughed as he waved goodnight to Lance and left the room. Justin sat up with a giggle. "You excited about this?" Lance smiled. "You bet!" Justin smiled back at Lance and Lance's stomach did a flip. 'God,' he thought, 'he's every bit as good looking as Josh. What am I getting into?' Justin hopped off the floor and sat next to Lance. "Hey, Lance, since we're both the youngest here we should stick together." "I'd really like that, Justin, but aren't you and Josh best friends." "Ya, the bestest but you can't have too many best friends," the 14 year old said with a broad smile. "I'll let you in on a secret," he whispered conspiratorially. "Josh tends to be a little 'mature' sometimes, so I need someone to hang with and be buds." "I think that would be great. So sometimes he's not too much fun, huh?" "Ya, just sometimes he gets into pretending he's an adult and forgets to have fun. Well, I'm heading to bed. See ya in the morning, Lance." "Night, Justin." Justin closed the door on his way out. Lance turned off the light and got into bed. He thought of Josh and Justin sharing a bed together and shivered. Falling asleep, he had some very improper but satisfying dreams. ------ Days became weeks which became months. Lance's voice mixed perfectly with the others from the first note, his low bass giving the group the sound that they were looking for. Diane agreed after the first song that they certainly showed promise. Chris brought the newly formed group to Lou Perlman who was estactic at their prospects and worked diligently to hone their skills and get them ready for life as possible stars. It was if they could do nothing wrong. Lou promised that they'd be big. It was the fall of 1996 and the group was poised to shoot skyward. The new group called 'NSync was starting to become popular in Europe. Sales of the single they had released was breaking records and the release of the full album the coming winter looked promising. Appearances were selling out all over Germany, France, Belgium and England, and mobs started followed them wherever they went. The boys had grown into a tight knit group and adopted each other as brothers. Lance was completely conflicted. He'd never been happier and was having the time of his life. Inside though, he was still sad and frustrated. At first, he moved from crush to crush on each of the guys. They all had qualities that attracted him. JC's quiet intensity, Chris and his relentless drive to achieve his dream, Joey with his easy-going demeanor and Justin's ability to make you smile and forget your troubles with his heart melting grin. But he always came back to JC. His gentle, kind way attracted Lance like no other. His resolve to not deny what he was crumbled. Many times, over those months of practicing before Europe, he wanted to tell the other guys but kept chickening out. Lance couldn't muster enough courage to admit to the others that he was gay. He didn't think that they'd have a problem with it, really, but he didn't want to take that chance. Now that they were achieving some kind of success and were doing some appearances he reluctantly pushed his true self deep inside knowing that public sentiment wasn't accepting, especially the audience they were playing to. On top of that he also denied any feelings he'd ever had for the others, especially JC, knowing that it was for the best. He became Lance of 'NSync and regretfully tried to forget James from Mississippi. But it wasn't easy. ------ They finally had gotten some time off to come home to the states around the holidays. Lou and Johnny kept them in Orlando for a couple of weeks after Thanksgiving to do some more recording before letting them home to visit their families for Christmas and New Years. It had been a hell of a year from the day he stepped off the plane with his mother and Lance was very grateful. On one of their few afternoons off, Lance had Joey drop him off at the mall. "Now don't forget, Lance, we're all meeting at the movie theater at the other end of the mall at 4:00 for that movie, ok." "Of course I remember, I'm the one that set it all up, goofball," Lance joked with his friend. "Oh, ya, right," Joey smiled. "See ya." He waved as he drove off. 'That's definitely one thing I can't wait for,' Lance thought to himself watching Joey's car disappear into traffic. In a few days he would be taking the road test and he would be a licensed driver now that he was 17. He even had his first car already picked out. Lance turned and entered the mall enjoying being just another person. If he had been in Europe the girls would be ripping him to pieces right now. Lance worried, not for the first time, how well they'd be received in the States. Another group of Lou's called the Backstreet Boys were getting ready to release an album and seemed to be doing pretty well. They were all looking forward to seeing them at the House of Blues the coming weekend. Lance wandered from store to store. He browsed mostly, buying a few things here or there. It was close to Christmas so he didn't want to get anything for himself that might find its way under someone's tree and he had done his shopping in Europe. He felt hungry and stopped for a hot dog. He sat on a bench near the food court to eat, doing what he liked the most: people watching. Long ago he had devised a mental game of rating guys and did it now as they walked past his seat. It was harmless fun and kept him occupied. 'Hmmm, there's a 4, and over there a 7,' Lance continued playing as he finished his hot dog. A voice broke him out of his inner thoughts. "Mind if I sit here?" Lance looked up into a pair of beautiful blue eyes. "Um, 9," he blurted out. "Excuse me?" Lance blushed then giggled nervously. "Sorry, just thinking to myself. Sure, help yourself." "I'm Brian," the boy said extending his hand. "Lance," Lance replied shaking it. He couldn't help noticing how strong the grip was while his hand was soft and warm. They sat in silence for a minute while Lance finished his drink and Brian started nibbling on a large pretzel. Lance took the time to look Brian over. His face was beautiful, Lance thought, classically formed with a strong jaw. His short, wavy hair bordered on brown or blond depending on how the light hit it and had slight red highlights. He wasn't as tall as Lance, maybe 5'8", thin and in great shape from the way the muscles played under his tight jersey. Eventually Brian broke the silence between them. "So, you from around here?" he asked with a light southern accent. Lance noticed that Brian had been checking him out also. "Am now, I guess. I'm originally from Mississippi. You?" "Really? I'm from Kentucky, I thought I recognized your accent." Brian smiled at Lance. Lance thought Brian was looking at him like he was waiting for something. They traded knowing glances for long minutes and there was no doubt what was on each of their minds. Lance had no idea what he should do. This was all new to him. "I hope you don't think I'm being too forward," Brian eventually said. "But I think you're very good looking." Lance blushed at the compliment. "You are too." They sat again in a slightly uncomfortable silence and Lance looked at his watch. "Oh, I'm sorry Brian, but it's almost 4:00 and I have to meet friends at the movie theater." Lance stood, an idea blossoming in his head. "Would you like to come?" Lance hoped he would say yes so he could spend more time with him. Brian stood as well and looked deeply into Lance's eyes. "There's nothing I'd like more," he said softly standing very close. Lance screamed in his mind, 'You're so close, go on, kiss me!' "But I'm meeting friends in a half hour so I should be going, too. Thanks for the invite though." "Oh," Lance said aloud and a little disappointed. "It was nice meeting you, Brian." Lance extended his hand. "Same here," Brian said as they shook. The shake lasted a little longer than usual making Lance's heart beat faster. Lance noticed again how was so soft and firm his hand was. "Tell you what," Brian said has he withdrew his hand and took a piece of paper and pencil out of his pocket. "If you have time and feel like it give me a call and we can do something sometime." He handed the paper to Lance after writing his name and phone number on it. Lance took it, read the number and shoved it into one of his pockets. "Sure!" he said a little too enthusiastically. Brian smiled at him. They continued to stand looking at each other. "I have an idea," Brian suggested, "how about we get together at Starbucks near Church Street tonight around 8:00?" "That sounds great! I'd like that." "Good. Well, I'll see you then. Have fun at the movies." Brian said starting to move off. "You too," Lance called as he walked in the opposite direction looking back over his shoulder every so often. Once he turned back to catch Brian doing the same. They grinned and waved holding each other's gaze. When Brian was lost in the crowd Lance made his way to the theater at the end of the mall. His mind was in turmoil, 'What just happened there?' he thought to himself. But more importantly, 'What -didn't- just happen there?' Sighing he found the guys in the lobby by the ticket counter. "Hey, Lance," Justin jumped up to him. "Guess what?" he asked while continuing to jump up and down. "What, Bounce?" Lance couldn't help but smile at Justin who was always moving. "I saw the Backstreet Boys! They were here in the mall!" "Really? I wouldn't even know what they looked like." "He wouldn't either," JC interrupted bringing Justin down into a head lock to give him a noogie. "I had to point them out to him. I saw their picture at Transcon the other day and recognized a couple of them." "Cool. We're still gonna go see them on Saturday, right?" JC nodded. "Guys, the movie is gonna start, let's get moving," Chris called. Lance and JC started into the theater. Justin was still in JC's headlock giggling insanely while both Lance and JC continued to give him noogies. ------ At 8:00 Lance left the taxi and walked into Starbucks. Looking around he saw Brian over in a corner and waved to him before going to the counter. He made his way to the table after getting a soda and sat across from him. "Hey." "Hey." They smiled at each other and sat in silence for a few minutes. "I'm sorry. I'm not very good at this," Lance apologized. "It's just that this is my..." he stumbled to a stop blushing slightly. "First date with a guy," Brian finished for him with a smile. Lance nodded bashfully. "Hey, that's ok. I haven't been on many myself." Lance's heart raced as Brian reached over and patted his hand. Lance let out a sigh. "It's just so.... unreal. Do you know what I mean?" Brian nodded with a laugh. "I know. It's taken me quite awhile to become comfortable with who I am. These last few years have been rough." "Same here. So what do you do for work?" "I'm a singer in a band but I'd rather not talk about that. We've had the last few days free and I just want to forget it for now." "I can understand that, I'm a singer too." Lance paused, choosing his words carefully. "Brian, how did you come to realize you were gay?" Brian's eyebrows shot up. "Well, there's a direct question." "I'm sorry, I had no business asking that. I'm just curious." "No, no that's ok. I don't mind but actually I'm bisexual. I like girls, too." Over the next couple of hours they talked about coming to terms with their sexuality. The glances in the locker rooms, crushes on their best friends, the first kiss. Lance finally found that he wasn't so different from anybody else and that he wasn't really alone with his feelings. Brian bought them some more drinks as they continued to talk. They were interrupted by Brian's cell phone. "Hello... Yes, Kevin... No, just talking... You know I'm not a kid anymore, right?... Ok, ok, I'm sorry... Sure." Shaking his head he pocketed his phone with a resigned smile. "That was Kevin." "Kevin?" Brian nodded. "Ya, my older cousin. He still thinks I'm in Grade School and tends to be a bit overprotective. He promised my parents he'd look out for me. I guess I need to be heading home, it's almost 10:00 anyway. Can I give you a ride? You don't need to take a taxi." "Sure, that would be great." As they walked to Brian's car, they made sure to brush shoulders and hands every so often, grinning at each other at the contact. Brian opened the door for Lance and shut it once he was seated then quickly got in the driver's side. "Such a gentleman," Lance said. "My mother raised me right," Brian smiled back. They sat looking at each other without moving for a few seconds. On an impulse they both felt and were powerless to stop they leaned in and kissed. It was a soft, gentle meeting of the lips that sent both their hearts racing. Lance pulled away with a happy sigh, staring deeply into Brian's eyes. Brian brought a hand up and gently brushed Lance's cheek before putting in on the back of his neck and pulling him in for another kiss. Lance enjoyed the feeling of Brian's lips and melted into him. After a minute he felt Brian's tongue lick along his upper lip. He opened his mouth slightly and let Brian in. Their tongues caressed and explored each other making them moan in each other's mouths. They both were panting when they broke apart. "Mmmmm," was all Lance could say. "That was really nice," cooed Brian. Getting himself under control he started the car and pulled out into traffic. They didn't talk much while Lance gave Brian directions. Soon they pulled up across the street from the Harliss house. "That's it across the street. Thanks for the ride, Brian. I had a great time tonight." "My pleasure," Brian responded with his Southern charm. "If you ever want to talk, please call me. Maybe we could go out and do a movie or something sometime?" "Sure, that'd be great." They sat gazing at each other before moving in for one goodnight kiss. Lance felt his body respond to Brian's lips and tongue. The kiss grew in passion as they freely tasted one another. Their hands roamed over each other as their breathing became heavy. One of Brian's hands felt along the hard length in Lance's pants making Lance moan. Brian started unzipping Lance's jeans and Lance stopped him. "I don't think it's a good idea to do this here," he said nervously. Brian smiled wickedly. "It's pretty dark and nobody's around, we won't be seen." While he was talking he deftly pulled Lance's hard dick from his briefs. "Very nice," he murmured before leaning over and taking Lance in his mouth. Lance threw his head back against the seat. "Ohhhhh..." was all he could say. Brian bobbed up and down on Lance's long length using his tongue to tease the head. It didn't take long before Lance bucked his hips up and came in Brian's mouth. Brian moaned and swallowed it all then sat up with a smile. Lance took a deep breath and began tugging at Brian's belt. "You don't have to do that." "But I want to," Lance replied. He took Brian into his mouth the minute he was free from his boxers. He sucked greedily controlling the urge not to gag at the thickness. It took a couple of minutes before Brian grunted loudly and starting shooting. Lance swallowed quickly to catch every drop. He sat up licking his lips. Brian leaned over and helped him with his tongue. They kissed again tasting themselves in each others mouths getting lost in the feel of each other. "Um, I guess I should... ah... be going in," Lance said in a slight daze as he pulled away. Brian smiled and nodded to him as he caught his own breath. "I really would like to see you again, Lance." "Me, too. I promise I'll call you. Maybe we can get together before I head home for Christmas." "I'd really like that. G'Night." "Night, Brian." This time Lance pulled Brian into the kiss as their lips lingered against each other. Brian watched until Lance had entered the house before driving off. Lance walked in the door and through the living room in a daze, completely unaware of his surroundings. Justin had to grab his arms to get him to respond to him. "Hey, you ok? I've been talking to you for a minute now and you act like you're not even here." "Oh, hi Justin." Justin smirked. "Where have you been? It's 10:30, we were worried, well, Josh was worried." "I left a note on the fridge. I was on a date." Lance's attention started to drift again into pleasant thoughts of Brian's lips against his. The feel of his tongue, the taste when he came in his mouth. Justin snickered and let him continue up to his room. JC came in from the kitchen and looked at Lance's back as he went up the stairs. "What's up with him?" "He had a date and from the expression on his face it went well," Justin said simply, zoning in on the TV. He didn't notice the look of disappointment, frustration and concern on JC's face. tbc... As always comments, suggestion and constructive criticisms are always welcome! Jim bangoremail1@yahoo.com AIM: bangoremail http://briefcase.yahoo.com/bangoremail1