Date: Mon, 27 Mar 2000 02:46:31 GMT
From: Warcraft2 Master <warcraft2master@hotmail.com>
Subject: Lance's Thought's 2

*Okay the usual disclaimer...If you aren't of legal age or it is illegal to
read this in your state...yadda yadda yadda...just don't get caught.  If you
don't like reading m/m stories than how did you end up here?  In addition, I
am not implying anything about the sexuality on the members of 'Nsync or the
Backstreet Boys.  Please send me e-mails on what you think...good, bad, etc.
  Thanks and enjoy the story.



Lance's Thoughts


*Previously*

Chris nodded and replied, "I am sorry Nick.  I shouldn't have suggested we
leave.  This is all my fault.  I am so-."  Nick cut him off by leaning
forward and kissing Chris on the lips.  The stayed in the kiss for a minute
and then Chris finally pulled away.
	"Wow," was all that Chris could come back with.  Chris leaned back down and
gave Nick a brief kiss before pulling away and saying, "I will see you
tomorrow, ok?  You need to get some sleep."  Nick nodded and closed his
eyes.  Before Nick fell back asleep he mumbled, "I love you."
	Chris smiled and replied, "And I you."



Chapter 2: A New Day

	As Lance laid in his bed, he could hear the soft breathing of Justin.
Justin seemed to be alright with the day's activities.  He was upset that
they were in a car accident, but he was alright.  Lance found that again he
couldn't fall asleep, so he decided to go get something to drink in the
little cafe in the lobby.  Lance through on some clothes and left the room.
	In the cafe Lance sat at a back table slowly drinking a cup of coffee.  He
got to thinking again about what he was going to tell the guys.  This was
tearing him up inside, and he felt that he was going to burst if he didn't
say something.  He took another snip at his coffee, got up, and paid for his
drink before leaving.
	Lance went back into his room and settled back down in his bed.  He laid
down and soon sleep fell over him.  Lance woke up the next morning shortly
after seven.  He found that no one else was awake you, and since he left
Chris yesterday without really talking with him, he decided to go visit.  He
left a note for Justin to tell the other guys where he went.  He left the
room and called the limo.
	About 20 minutes later he arrived at the hospital.  He walked into Chris'
room and when he found that he wasn't in there he started to panic a little.
  He calmed down for a minute and decided to go check in Nick's room.  As he
walked into Nick's room he surprised to see that he and Chris were engaged
in a passionate kiss.  Lance in total shock asked, "Um, fellas what's going
on here?"
	The both quickly broke the kiss and Chris jumped back into his wheelchair.
Nick had his head down, and Chris only briefly looked at Lance before doing
the same.  Lance walked over and knelt down in front of Chris.  He smiled at
Chris and said, "What a catch."
	Chris looked up in total shock and tried to stammer out a couple words but
all that came out was mumbles.  Nick saw this and said, "Um, thanks Lance."
	"Hey what you to do in private is none of my business.  Plus I think you
two will make a cute couple," with that Lance got up and hugged Chris, then
moved and hugged Nick.
	"What are you doing here so early Lance," Chris asked.
	"Well since I didn't stay last night and talk to you, I decided to sit down
and talk with you.  Now I really have something to talk about.  So how long
has this been going on?"
	"The truth," Chris asked, Lance nodded, "it has been going on for
approximately seven hours."  Lance looked over to Chris and gave a small
laugh.
	"Well I am happy for the both of you," Lance looked over to Nick and said,
"he is a wild one.  I hope you are up to it."
	"Oh I think I will be able to tame him," Nick said with a smile.
	"Oh is that so.  We will just see about that," Chris replied.
	"So has the doctor talked to you much yet?"
	"Yeah he told us the news.  Man I can't believe I won't be able to dance
for more than 3 months," Nick said with a frown.
	"I am sure you can find other "things" to occupy yourself during that
time," Lance said with a big smile.  Chris playfully punched Lance in the
arm and said, "Hey no picking on my boyfriend," with that they all gave a
laugh.  They continued small talk until the door opened and in came the rest
of both bands.  The other band members moved towards the bed so they could
talk with Chris and Nick.  Lance moved away and watched all of this
intently.
	He was very happy for Chris and Nick.  He just wished he could have
something like that.  Thinking about all this he was quickly drawn back in
to his own dilemma. He was so afraid of losing his friends.  He knew that
Nick and Chris would support him, but he didn't think that would be enough.
He looked at everyone in the room one by one.  The last person he looked at
was Brian.  Brian had been so nice to him since he arrived.  He especially
didn't want to lose that friendship.
	Pretty soon J.C. had walked over to him and asked him in a whisper, "You ok
Scoop?  You have been pretty withdrawn for the past week or so."  Lance
nodded and walked out of the room.  I have to get away Lance thought to
himself.  Lance walked out of the hospital and hailed a taxi.  He told the
driver he wanted to go to the nearest park.  In about 5 minutes he arrived,
paid the driver and got out.

***Back at the Hospital***

	Brian looked around the room and noticed that Lance was no longer in the
room.  He walked over to J.C. and asked him where Lance went.  "I asked him
if he was ok he nodded and walked out of the room.  I think he left the
hospital."
	"Do you know where he went?"
	"You might try his hotel room.  If he isn't there, he likes to go places
that are quiet so he can think.  He has been doing a lot of that lately."
	"Thanks J.C."  J.C. just nodded and Brian was out the door.  He called to
the hotel and asked for Lance's room.  He got no answer.  He called a cab
and asked the driver to take him to the public library.  Brian thought that
this was probably one of the quietest places to go.  A few minutes later
Brian was at the library and searching for Lance.  He couldn't find him and
went back to the taxi.
	"Hey do you know of any places in town that you would go to get alone.
Some place quiet," Brian asked the cab driver.
	"Hmmm lets see, you could go to the church or the park."
	"Take me to the park."
	"Alright."  About fifteen minutes later the cab pulled up to the park.
Brian made a quick scan of the park and saw a blonde figure sitting on the
swings.  He told the cab driver not to wait and he got out.  He slowly
walked up to Lance.  He sat down in the swing beside Lance and said, "Pretty
quiet here."
	"Yeah I like going places like this whenever I need time to think."
	"Yeah J.C. said the same thing.  So what are you thinking about?  You
remember I said you could talk to me about anything.  I am your friend."
	"You wouldn't be my friend after what I would tell you."
	"Try me it may come as a shock."
	"No, I don't want to lose your friendship."
	"Lance you won't lose my friendship no matter what you say.  You can trust
me.  I am here to help you."  Lance let out a big sigh and shook his head.
"Please Lance, just tell me."
	"Brian...I'm...I am...gay," Lance looked to the ground and didn't bother to
look up to see Brian's expression.  Brian sat there in shock for a moment
before getting off the swing and kneeling down in front of Lance.  He put
his hand under Lance's chin and just smiled.
	"Hey I don't care if you are.  That isn't what makes you, you," Lance
looked back at Brian, gave a smile, leaned down and gave Brian a kiss on the
lips.  Brian quickly backed away and said, "Lance, I'm sorry, I'm not gay."
Lance quickly looked away ashamed and embarrassed.  Brian saw this
immediately and said, "Hey Lance, don't worry about it.  We are still
friends.  This doesn't change anything.  I mean that; you can still talk to
me about anything."
	Lance nodded and said, "Thanks Brian."
	"Hey what are friends for?"  With that Brian and Lance walked off.  Lance
pulled out his cell phone and called a cab.  A few moments later the cab
arrived and they entered the cab.  They told the driver where they wanted to
go and were back at the hotel before they knew it.
	"Hey Brian, I want to tell the guys, but I don't know how they are going to
act.  What do you think I should do?"
	"I think you should do what you feel is right in your heart.  Whatever you
decide I will be right behind you."
	"Thanks again."  Once Lance and Brian got in the elevator they both went
their own ways to their rooms.  A little after 4 in the afternoon, Lance got
a call from Brian saying that they were having dinner in Kevin's room, and
that he needed to be there at six.  Lance thanked him and hung up the phone.
	Lance sat down in one of the chairs and turned on some music to try and
help him think.  Music always helped him think it helped clear his mind.  He
put in a Creed CD, and slowly listened to the slow rhythm of "My Own
Prison."  After the song ended he got up to take a shower.  He turned the
water on to the desired temperature and stepped in.  The warm water felt
wonderful against his tense body.
	He stood under the water for five minutes before getting himself clean.
After 20 minutes he was finished and stepped out of the shower.  Lance saw
that he still had about an hour and a half left and he was feeling a little
tired, so he decided to take a small rest.  Very quickly sleep took over
him.
	Lance got up and saw that it was 5:45.  He went into the bathroom and fixed
his hair.  When he was satisfied he left the room and went to Kevin's room.
He walked in and saw that everyone else was there.  Everyone nodded to him
when he walked in and continued eating.  Lance walked over to where the food
was and got a plate of food and took a seat next to Brian on the couch.
	Lance saw that Chris and Nick where sitting very close together.  He
guessed no one else really noticed it.  Kevin and J.C. we in their own
conversation.  Joey, Howie, A.J., and Justin were also in a conversation,
although Lance couldn't tell hear what they were talking about.  Lance saw
that Brian was being quiet.  Lance looked at him and asked, "Hey thanks
again for this afternoon."
	"Like I said no problem, and whatever you decide I will be right behind
you."
	"Thank Brian.  That means a lot to me."  Soon all of the band members were
in a conversation about the upcoming tour.  "So," Howie started, "What is
our first stop?"
	"We will kick off the tour in Chicago after that we will be in Fargo,"
Kevin said.  Everyone nodded and they talked so more about little details
about the tour.  Brian got up and cleared his throat, indicating to everyone
that he had something to say.  Everyone stopped talking and turned their
attention to Brian.  Brian looked down at Lance and smiled.
	"Well now that I have your attention, I think Lance has something he needs
to tell everyone."  Lance quickly looked up at Brian in shock.  Lance shook
his head.  "Come on Lance tell them."
	"What do you have to tell us Scoop," Justin asked.
	"Yeah Lance, what is it," Howie seconded.
	"Well umm...I...am...I'm gay," Lance said trying to get everything out.  He
looked up and everyone had a weird face.  Lance was about to say something
when J.C. got up and walked over to him.  He gave him a little hug and said,
"Hey that's cool man.  It doesn't change anything between us."
	Joey looked at Lance and said, "Lance you're a fag?"  Lance looked at Joey
with shock.  Joey was the last person he would expect to say something like
that.  Joey got up and left the room.  Howie, A.J., and Kevin also left the
room.  They all had disgusted looks on their face.  Lance got up and ran out
of the room.  He heard Chris call after him but he didn't stop.
	Lance got into the elevator and pressed the lobby button.  Lance walked out
of the hotel, he didn't know where he was going, but he knew that he needed
to go somewhere to think.  He walked down a busy street in Phoenix, Arizona.
  He was looking at the ground, and began thinking about what Joey had said
and what Kevin, A.J., and Howie's faces had looked like.  The disgust in
their faces, Lance didn't care though.  He didn't even really know, so their
opinions didn't really matter to him.
	Joey though, the words that came out of his mouth hurt Lance greatly.  He
thought that Joey was his friend.  They had known each other a long time.
He was truly the last person he would have thought would say something like
that.  His words kept repeating in Lances head.  Lance saw a different park
than the one he had been to earlier in the day.
	Lance saw a secluded place and went over and sat down.  He put his head in
hands and began to cry.  He wished Brian hadn't of brought it up.  Why had
Brian brought it up?  Maybe he was really mad that I had kissed him and he
wanted to get back at me, Lance thought to himself.  No, Brian would never
do that.
	"Excuse me, are you alright?"  Lance looked up with red eyes at the person
who had spoken to him.  "Hey man, do you want to talk about it."  The
mysterious person kneeled down in front of Lance and asked again, "Hey, do
you want to talk about it?"  Lance stared at the kindness someone was
showing him.  Lance again, put his head in his hands and started sobbing.
	The person quickly brought Lance into a hug and tried to comfort him as
much as possible.  After about ten minutes Lance quit crying and looked
again at the person who was now holding him.  Lance looked the person in the
eyes and found the most beautiful pair of brown eyes.
	"So do you want to talk about whatever you were crying about..." the person
started.
	"Lance," Lance said answering the question the person had been wanting to
know.
	"Ok Lance," the person gave a smile, "I'm Alex."  Lance extended his hand
and they shook.  "So Lance, why were you crying like that.  Something really
bad must have happened."
	"I just had a bad experience with someone I thought was my friend."
	"Must have been a bad one."
	"Yeah...well thanks Alex, but umm...I think I probably should be getting
back, my other friends might be worried about me."
	"Ok...hey let me give you my number in case something else happens and you
want to talk to someone about it."
	"Ok, sure."  Alex quickly wrote down his number and gave it to Lance.
Lance put it in his pocket and turned to leave.  He looked back and gave
Alex a smile, which was returned to him.  Lance walked quickly back to the
hotel.  He got on his floor and walked to his room.
	Lance unlocked the door and walked in.  There he found Justin asleep in his
bed.  Lance looked at the clock and saw that it was almost eight.  Lance
suddenly felt very tired.  He climbed into his bed and quickly fell asleep.
	Lance awoke about an hour later.  He looked at the clock and sighed.  He
started thinking about Alex.  Alex had been so kind to him even though they
didn't know each other.  Also, Lance was very attracted to him.  He was
perfect in Lance's eyes.  Lance reached into his pocket and pulled out the
number.
	He called and after two rings someone picked up.
	"Hello?"
	"Hey Alex, this is Lance.  I was wondering if you wanted to do something.
Like maybe go see a movie.  I mean if you don't want to I will understand, I
just..."
	"I would like that," Alex cut Lance off.
	"Really?  Cool, I where can I pick you up at?"  Alex gave Lance the
directions.  Lance went to the bathroom to straighten his hair up.  He
stepped out of the bathroom and decided he should leave a message for Justin
just in case.  Lance checked himself in the mirror to make sure he looked
good.  He was satisfied and then he left the room.  He pulled out his
cell-phone and called the limo driver.
	Lance got into the limo and gave the driver the directions.  The drive to
Alex's house took twenty minutes.  Lance stepped out of the limo and went to
the front porch.  He knocked on the door and heard someone yell, "come in."
Lance entered and saw that Alex was getting his shoes on.
	"Please, take a seat."
	"Alright," Lance said sitting down.  Alex finished putting his shoes on and
said, "So all ready?"
	"Yep."
	"Ok so where shall we go?"
	"Well, I really haven't eaten much of anything today, and since you know
the city real well, you might know somewhere we can eat."
	"Sounds like a plan.  I know the perfect place."
	"Ok lets get going than."  They stepped out of the house and Alex stopped
and looked at Lance.  "What," Lance asked.
	"Are you some kind of star or something."
	"You don't know?"
	Alex shook his head.
	"I am Lance Bass.  I'm in the group 'Nsync."
	"I have heard of you, but I am sorry I don't really listen to much of
anything except classical music."
	"Well than that should make dinner even better."
	"How so?"
	"Well this way we can get to know each other better.  Since we both know
nothing about the other."  Alex smiled and they continued the walk to the
limo.  Alex gave the driver to the directions to the restaurant.  After a
short drive they were in front of the restaurant.
	"Lance, I am telling you this place has the best steak you will ever eat."
	"Great!  I am starved."  They entered the restaurant and Alex went over and
talked to the host.  They had a brief conversation.  Alex pointed over in
Lance's direction and smiled.  The host nodded and they were quickly seated
towards the pack of the restaurant.  "What was that all about," Lance said
as they took their seats.
	"Oh, I just told him who you were and that we wanted a place that was out
of the way so you wouldn't be bothered."
	"Thanks."
	"No problem.  I figured that you didn't want to be disturbed, at least not
tonight anyway."
	"Yeah, I don't think I can handle fans right now."
	"Do you want to talk about it now?  I have been told that I am a great
listener."
	"Maybe later.  Let's eat first.  Let's get to know each other."
	"Sounds like a plan to me."  Just then the waiter came.  Lance ordered the
T-bone steak with a baked potato, while Alex ordered a rib eye also, with a
baked potato.  They started talking about their past.  Lance talking about
how he joined the group, and Alex talking about how he ended up living alone
in Arizona.
	"So you want to know why I am living here on my own," Alex asked.  Lance
nodded and Alex added, "Okay, but only on one condition.  You tell me why
you were so upset earlier."  Lance got real quiet and thought about it for a
few minutes.  "Please Lance, I promise if it is that bad, I won't say
anything about it.  You can trust me," Alex pleaded.
	"I don't know Alex, I don't want to lose your friendship."
	"Lance, trust me nothing you say will change a friendship, I have been
through all this before with many other friends."
	"Fine you want to know, I am gay, I came out to my friends, and one of them
called me a 'fag.'  Then to top it all of he left the room and was followed
by members of another band we a touring with," Lance said looking down at
his food and letting tears fall.
	"Wow, that is pretty bad, but correct me if I am wrong there are five of
you in 'Nsync."
	"Yeah so."
	"Well, you still have the other three right?"
	"Well yeah."
	"See than it can't be all that bad."
	"Yeah I guess, but it still hurts."
	"I know, but give him some time.  I am sure you just surprised him and this
was the only way he knew how to handle it."
	"I guess..." Lance took a drink and continued, "So how did you end up
living alone here in Phoenix."
	Alex sighed and started his story, "Well about three years ago I was living
with my parents and younger brother.  We were happy together; well at least
I pretended to be.  It was the night of my school play; I had the leading
role.  So, my family was going to come."
	"Well I had decided the night before that I was going to come out to them
after the play.  I had held it inside me for the longest time and I felt
they needed to know.  The play was fantastic.  My parents were so proud of
me.  We left the school and were on our way home," about this time Alex
started tearing up.
	"Listen Alex, if it is to hard you don't..."
	"No, I am going to finish," Lance nodded and Alex continued his story.  "So
I figured I would tell them at home that way we would all be able to sit
down and talk about it.  About a block from our house a drunk driver who ran
a red light hit us.  The next thing I remember I was lying in a hospital
with some doctor standing over me.  I had tubes coming out all over my
body."
	"I found out that both my parents had been killed instantly.  Since we were
hit from the front, my brother and I were hurt pretty badly but we still
survived.  I don't know how long I cried, but I do know that when I stopped
the only thing I could think of was that I never got the chance to tell
them."
	"The next day I was allowed to leave my bed and go see my brother.  Thank
god we had been wearing seatbelts.  I am almost positive that we would have
died had we not have been wearing them.  I was wheeled into his room.  He
was hooked up to a machine that was helping him breath.  The doctors said
that he would recover, but he would probably need some plastic surgery cause
his face had been damaged pretty badly."
	"He looked like a beaten up rag doll laying on that bed.  I cried even more
when I saw him.  I stayed with him as long as I could, but I was told to go
back to my room about three hours later," by now both Lance and Alex had
steady tears flowing down their faces.  "The next day I was visited by the
family lawyer.  He had been a good friend of the family for years."
	"He started talking to me about my parents will and their life insurance
policy.  Basically what he told me was that since my parents didn't have a
siblings and that my grandparents were dead, I was a very rich
seventeen-year-old.  I inherited everything, the cars, the house, and all
the money.  I asked him to leave after he explained everything to me.  I
cried for a long time after that."
	"Two days later my parents had their funeral.  I was allowed to go, but my
brother was not.  It would two weeks before he was even allowed to leave his
room.  Since my parents had a very good insurance policy my brother was able
to have his surgery and his scars weren't that noticeable.  Two weeks later
we were allowed to leave and we returned to our house."
	"We both decided to sell the house and but a smaller one.  We sold a lot of
the items in the house, but kept all the possessions that were sacred to us.
  We put all of that in storage.  We have lived in that house ever since.
Right now he is at college.  I told him about three months after my parents
died that I was gay.  He took it very well."
	"Well that is basically my story in a nutshell," Alex wiped his tears and
looked at Lance and saw that Lance too, was wiping his tears.   Few minutes
later the check arrived and Lance picked up the check with a little argument
on who was going to pay.  After that they both got up and left.  Once they
were in the limo Lance brought Alex into a hug and said, "Alex I am so sorry
you went though all of that."
	"Hey, it's not your fault.  I got through it and it has made me a stronger
person."  Lance nodded and soon they were at Alex's house.  They both got
out and walked to his front porch.
	"Well Alex, I really had a good time.  Thanks for being here for me today.
You have really helped me a lot.  I can't thank you enough."
	"No, thank you Lance.  I know that everything will be all right with you
and your friends.  And if that one doesn't come around you still have the
other three who I am sure will support you."  Lance smiled at Alex, leaned
forward and soon they were in a passionate kiss.
	After a couple minutes the broke the kiss.  "Well Alex, I am going to be
here for a couple more days.  I hope that we can see each other again soon."
	"I hope so too.  I have really enjoyed myself tonight."  Alex leaned
forward and gave Lance another small kiss.  Lance gave Alex his cell-phone
number and soon Lance was walking back to the limo, happier than he had been
in a long time.

To be continued...

	*Well there it is.  I hoped you enjoyed it.  I enjoyed writing this story.
Please send me email.  I love getting emails... I didn't get very many last
time...I hope it will be different this time.  I am so sorry it took so long
to get this out.  I had encouragement from my good friend Frank.  I hope
that it won't take as long to get the next part out.  Thanks for reading.*