Date: Fri, 24 Nov 2000 11:35:03 EST
From: WiteLiteLeo@aol.com
Subject: Let The Sun Fall Part 3

Well, here's part three. I hope you all are still reading. All the same
stuff applies so... on with the story. Oh, I would like to think all of
those people who have sent me so much stuff telling me they like the
story. I am loving that! Thanks to those great people that I have come to
love on the Josh/Justin list on eGroups and those wonderful folks at Nifty.
So, on that note, see you laters.

Let The Sun Fall Down
Part 3

	"Lance, can I ask you something?" Justin sat in Lance's room, on
his bed while Lance searched for something to wear. They had all planned to
go out and celebrate the finish of their first record and its
release. Lance and Justin were still young, but they still planned to have
fun.
	"Yeah, sure. Go right ahead." Lance smiled at Justin quickly before
going back to his closet.
	"Um... how do you... I mean," Justin was interrupted as Lance held
up another outfight, holding up the clothes against his wife-beater and
boxers. Justin shook his head slightly is disapproval before going on. "How
do you feel about you know, gay people?"  Justin's question made Lance look
up from his big clothes pile.
	"Excuse me?" Lance asked not sure he had heard Justin right.
	"You know, me and you have similar families, both are religious and
all. And I know the whole sin factor and stuff, but I just... I don't know
if that is how I feel." Justin said softly, almost as if he was ashamed he
had brought it up. But for the past four months, the only thing that seemed
to occupy his mind was JC, and Tony, and JC and Tony, and them being
gay. It was just something Justin had never really thought of. He always
knew what being gay was, but he had never known anyone who
was. Technically, he still didn't considering JC had yet to tell him. He
had no idea that Justin already knew. But that was only technically.
	"Well, Justin, I, personally, think you have a good thing going
then. I don't believe that being gay is anything big." Lance began to move
over and sit next to Justin.  Somewhere along the line, Lance seemed to
have thought Justin was asking because Justin was gay. So, Lance wanted to
make sure that even though he was straight, he didn't care. "I would still
be someone's friend if they were gay. It wouldn't change anything at
all. It makes no difference to me. At all. Is there, um, something you want
to tell me?" Lance put his arm around Justin's shoulders to make sure
Justin knew he didn't care if he was gay. He never would have guessed, but
hey, he didn't know.
	"What? No, I was just curious. It doesn't have to do with anything,
just... I got to thinking." Justin didn't catch on that Lance suspected
anything, the wrong thing or the right.
	"Well, like I said, I'm here for you." Lance squeezed his shoulder
quickly before getting back up and walking over to finish getting ready.
	`That's good. I'm glad he feels the same way I do. I don't want
this to be a big thing. I love Josh and I don't want that to change. I
don't care what him and Tony do... as long as he is happy.' Justin smiled
before walking out.

***

	"I know... I'm sorry. I didn't know, if I would have known I would
have done something, helped you..." Tony was cut off short.
	"But you were right." JC's face came up from Tony's shoulder and
looked him deep into his eyes. "You told me, the night I left for
Europe. You told me how this would turn out, that I would hurt in the
end. I didn't want to listen. I thought things could get better. I
thought..." JC stopped and looked at Tony. "I'm sorry. I probably shouldn't
have come here." The sentence was cut off when Tony spoke next.
	"No. This is the first place you should have come. And I'm glad
that you came here... glad that you are here now. I wouldn't have it any
other way." Tony reassured JC before helping him up from the couch and into
the bed he had been given.
	"Thank you Tony. I will always love you for everything you have
done for me.  But," JC's eyes were closing and sleep would soon take
over. "You knew then... you were right." Tony shut his eyes too... out of
regret that he had ever spoken those words out of anger or whatever, and
that they would turn out to be right.

***

	"It's nice of you to do this. I appreciate it." Tony's words held
no sarcasm, but JC couldn't help but hear it. But, hey, he half expected it
so maybe that had something to do with it.
	"Tony, I know..."
	"No," Tony's words interrupted JC as they usually did when things
got like they were. "This is nice. Let's just leave it there for now." Tony
started to cut into his chicken that JC had made. He had come over to find
a dinner for just him and JC. It was nice.  That was all he could really
say. JC nodded at Tony's words and ate. They would talk later, right now,
they would both pretend that things were fine. JC wasn't leaving tomorrow,
they weren't drifting apart, Josh wasn't going to say what they both knew
he would.

	"Tony, you are going to leave tonight and never say it. I can' go
like that. I don't want it to end like this." JC was crying. Tony knew that
would happen. But he didn't want it to end at all, especially not like
this.
	"Fine... you wanna talk about it, talk. TALK!" Tony stood up from
his position and looked straight at JC. "Tell me all about it. Tell me
about your great new opportunity, tell me how they can make you feel good
enough when I obviously couldn't.  Tell me what HE can give you that I
missed out on." Tony's explosion was sudden but hardly surprising. JC knew
it had come to this. And he knew, it was all his fault.
	"Tony, it's not like that. I swear." JC's eyes pleaded the truth.
	"But it is. It might not be like I say, but it is close enough. And
one day... one day it will be like that. One day, you will feel all the
things that you can't feel for me, one day you will see in him everything I
see in you. And one day," Tony picked up his bag that had all his stuff
that he had left over at this house, this empty shell he was leaving and
started to walk out. "You will tell him all the things you could never say
to me," Tony turned back one last time. "And he'll hate you for it." And
with that, Tony was gone, out of JC's life.

***

	"Did you all really know?" The silence was broken by Justin's faint
voice. They were all, once again, gathered around the cordless phone that
sat on the blank coffee table waiting for someone who knew where their
fifth had gone. Chris looked at Joey, Joey looked and Lance, Lance looked
back at Chris, and then they all turned to Justin.  That was all the answer
Justin needed. He sighed loudly. "How stupid am I!" No one knew if Justin
was talking to himself or the others, but everyone stayed silent. "Tell me,
please, what did he say to you?" Justin had only recently wanted to know
what his best friend had left out. JC had told him something, but he had a
feeling there was a lot left unsaid when JC took off, and maybe his other
three best friends could fill in something.
	"Um," Joey started off. "He never actually told me. I did assume
though... always figured. I dunno. It wasn't a surprise when I found
out. But yeah, I found out from Chris when I asked him if he ever thought
anything of you and him." Joey turned to Chris to let him continue the
story.
	"Yeah, Joe came to me and I told him I knew that JC felt something
for you. I, um, kinda found a note one time. It was really early after our
first tour ended. We had all come back to Orlando you know, then we started
drifting back home. Well, me and JC were the last ones left to leave. I had
some stuff for FuManSkeeto and JC was in the studio every second of every
day. He stayed with me awhile and I found a piece of paper in his room
after he left. I don't think he ever intended anyone to read it. It was a
good- bye letter. And part of it... most of it, was solely to you
Just. He... poured his heart out in that letter. After that, I always drug
JC wherever we all went, no matter how much he wanted to stay and sleep. I
didn't want him to be alone after that. I would have said something if I
ever thought something was still wrong. He has been so... I dunno, normal
for so long." They all nodded as Justin took in this information.
	"So, he never told anyone of you personally? You just kinda found
out?" Joey and Chris nodded their heads but Lance stayed silent. All eyes
were on him.
	"He told me how he felt. It was about three months ago." Lance was
scared, knowing that he, out of everyone, had a chance to prevent this very
moment. "I, um, went to go see if he wanted to watch a movie with me. Joey
and Chris," Lance stated looking at the two, "had gone off clubbing yet
again and you... you had gone on a date. It was with the one girl that you
met at the radio show we did for 106.7. Me and JC were the only ones left
so I figured we could spend some time together. I knocked on his door a lot
and he never answered, but I knew he hadn't left. So, I went in anyway and
I found him, asleep like usual. But this time, he had tear stains on his
pillows and down his checks and it was obvious he had done a good amount of
crying before he ever got to sleep." Justin simply looked at Lance, wanting
to know everything that came out of that bass voice.

***

	Lance looked over at JC, wanting to cry just because he could tell
JC had been crying. `What could be wrong with him? He is always so moody
now, always so withdrawn. If Justin wasn't able to bring him out every once
in awhile I would be worried. But here I am, and now that I see this, I AM
worried.' Lance decided to go along with his plan, to ask JC if he wanted
to watch a movie with him. He gently poked at the man's body that lay
beneath him until JC started to stir.
	"Huh? Justin? Is it time to get up?" JC asked, his throat dry and
barely audible.  Lance smiled. `At least his always ready to work.'
	"No, Josh, it's me, Lance. I was just wondering," JC sat his back
against the headboard as he woke up. "I didn't mean to wake you up, but I
didn't really wanna be alone tonight since everyone else took off and I
wanted you to come watch a movie with me." Even in the dark room, JC could
see Lance's sweet smile and flushed cheeks that he got every time he asked
for something. JC could never say no to Lance, not when he looked like
that. He sighed a second, thinking about Justin and his date and his
feelings and crying himself to sleep and...
	"Lance, I would love to get out of this room. What movie did you
say we were watching?" JC smiled as he climbed out of the bed and pulled
Lance along with them.

	Somewhere, in the middle of the movie, the two men had stopped
watching and just started talking. That was when Lance asked.
	"JC, I um, in your room I know you cried yourself to sleep." Lance
almost didn't get it out. JC looked pained that someone knew but he kept it
up good. He didn't even try to lie about it.
	"So, I mean, everyone does it from time to time. Are you saying
you've never done it?" JC knew the question would get Lance, he knew Lance
had done it. He had to of. He was just that kind of person. Lance nodded in
understanding but didn't back down.
	"For one, I haven't in a long time and two... there is always a
reason. Talk to me please!" Lance pleaded with JC, moving closer to him and
resting his arm around the back of JC. JC looked at him and shook his
head. He never said anything. He changed the subject five different times
before Lance gave up, sure he wouldn't say anything. And Lance knew he
couldn't make him. And then... he said it.
	"You know, Justin said he would never date a fan." It was a short
sentence, that had come out of nowhere. It might have been odd to hear
except for Lance's previous question so he sat and listened. This had to be
what was bothering JC. "He said they would never know the real him, that
they would not be dating him, but Justin Timberlake of `Nsync. But now
look, he's out there." JC wanted so much to add that Justin was out there,
but he was here alone, but couldn't. That would reveal to much and he had
done that already.
	"Well, it gets lonely out on the road. And even when we come home,
things are never the same. And nobody wants to be alone." Lance didn't
catch it right away. He didn't realize what was really bothering JC, not
yet.
	"But still, he's not alone. Anytime he ever needed someone... I was
there. I always did what he wanted to do, went where he wanted to go... why
can't that be enough." See, that's where it hit Lance. The bells went off,
the fireworks exploded, and the sun rose to shine light on JC.
	After a minute or tow just sitting there Lance dared to guess the
truth. "You love him don't you?" Lance's voice was low, like if he didn't
say it loud enough he didn't really say it, but Josh heard. His head
snapped to rest on Lance.
	"Wh.. What! That's ridiculous. That's... that's the stupidest thing
I have ever heard of. Me... in love with Just. Yeah, that would happen." JC
had a smile on his face, but it was fake and the tears that threatened to
come out again called him on that. Lance sat up, put his arms around JC,
and did the only thing he could, held JC.

***

	"After he calmed down, he told me everything. He said that he was
in love with you. It was that plain and simple. He told me when he realized
it and how he left perhaps the one person that would ever love him back to
be with you." Lance could tell his words hurt Justin, but he wanted to know
the truth, no, he needed to know. But Lance held things that would ease the
pain, or at least held the chance to. "But Justin, he said it was worth
it. He cares so much for you and he knew you would never feel the same. He
just wanted to be near you, that was enough for him. He knew it couldn't be
anything more."  As Lance said those words, everything that was happening
made him think. He looked at Chris and Joey before going back to Justin.
"Justin, now that you know... from us and from JC himself, the only
question left is how do you feel about JC? You two... the line has always
been blurred and it hasn't always been from him. Do you... I mean, are you
in love with JC too?

TBC So, I hope people are still reading. I'm sorry this one took so
long. Well, let me know things. :) C-ya.