Date: Sat, 5 Feb 2000 00:12:43 EST From: CaRtOoN80@aol.com Subject: life as i know it 11 Life as I Know It 11- Justin, Jessie.and Juan "Hello," I said as I tried to calm myself down. "Dylan," Josh said with worry in his voice. "What's wrong? Is it your mother? Let me get Drew." "Don't get Drew," I yelled. "Whatever you do, make sure Drew doesn't know your leaving." "Why? Dylan, talk to me." "I promise I will explain everything when you get over here, just get over her." Josh said ok and I hung up the telephone, just as Justin and Jessie came downstairs. Justin drifted to the love seat while Jessie plopped into the recliner. I stood in front of the TV, just nodding my head. It stayed quiet for about ten minutes before Jessie stood up. "Where are you going," I said sternly. "I'm going to my room," she whispered. "I have a headache." "Headache my ass," I snapped. "Sit down." Jessie looked at me with such shock. I have never raised my voice at her, but I was mad and hurt. She shook her head real quick and sat down. Then she looked at me. "Do you know how many kids, younger than me, loose their virginity? I'd thought, out of all people, my gay uncle would understand," Jessie whispered furiously. "Don't even use that bullshit on me! Whether I am gay or not, I am human." "How old was my father when he had me?" "Let's call him and find out!" I walked towards the telephone and picked it up. Justin, who was scared anyway, stood up. "Stop," he yelled. Jessie and I looked at him. Before he could finish, Josh ran into the house. "I took a cab over here, are you ok," Josh asked with such concern. "Josh, I walked in on Justin and Jessie having sex, how do you think I feel?" His face went to hurt, then to horror. "What,' he yelled. "I am sorry, I didn't mean to snap-." "You have every fucking right to snap," Josh yelled. Josh then grabbed Justin by his arm. "You, me, kitchen. Now!" With that, Josh dragged Justin to the kitchen, which left Jessie and me alone. I sat on the couch across from her. I crossed my leg and just sat there and stare at her. "Why don't you say something," she snapped. "Wow, you get your pussy popped and all the sudden your Ms. Attitude." "Leave me alone," Jessie got up. I got up as well and lunged for her arm. As I swung her around, the smell of her breath whiffed near my nose. "Your drunk," I yelled, just as she threw up on my pants. I made her go to bed and then cleaned myself up. When I was finished, I went to the kitchen to check on Justin and Josh. I cracked the door open just as I heard. "No, I don't love her. Or do I like her. We just got drunk while playing truth or dare. One dare led to another and-." "You had sex with her," Josh asked. "Yes," Justin said with his head down. "Listen, I didn't mean to do it. It just happened. It wasn't to hurt Jessica, you, or Dylan. I wish I could take it back, but how can you give back a girls' virginity." "I don't know. I just hope you didn't hurt her or anything." "Maybe I should go back to the hotel, huh?" "Yeah," Josh said after a big sigh. "And go to sleep too. I'll check up on you later, but I may stay here, ok?" Justin nodded and took the back door out. I walked in with Josh's head on the table. When he felt my presence, his head popped up. "I am so sorry," Josh said as he hugged me. "It's not your fault," I assured him as my head rested on his shoulder. We both sighed. As he took me to the living room. We both plopped on the couch and, eventually, fell asleep. I gave a more sober Jessie a week to tell her father, or else I would. Since she was sober and her attitude was gone, she wasn't reluctant to do so. By that Friday, Drew, Jessie, Rachel, and I talked about the ordeal. Drew wasn't mad at me for not telling, nor was he mad at her, just disappointed in both of us, which hurts a lot worse. "Well," I said breaking down the wall of silence, "what do we do now?" "Dylan. Rachel. Don't take this the wrong way," Drew started, "but I want to discuss this just between Jessie and me. I will inform you of anything major, I promise, but Dill, you have things to take care of with Juan and Rach, you got your job. Me and Jessie will be ok, I promise." With that, I nodded and went upstairs to get my bags. When I came down, Rachel had her car keys in hand. "Ready to head out,' she smirked. Rachel and me discussed Jessie's situation in the car. Then we discussed the backburning question of Josh and me. "We spent the week he was here together, and I plan on doing that. Unfortunately, he can't be in every aspect of my life, as I can't be in his. Though, in LA, we will be closer, I will also have to except the dreaded meeting of his other bandmates." "Come on, they can't be that bad." "The `nicest one in the band,' as people describe him, just fucked my niece. N'Sync cannot be trusted in my book." "Even Josh? Dylan, I am having a hard time believing that you, in some weird way of yours, you blame Josh for what Justin and Jessie did." "I never said that." "You don't have to," Rachel said as she parked the car. "I saw you and Josh after the incident. I mean, you don't mean to, but you get cold and distant with him. I think you blame him, and that's not good." I got out of the car and she followed me. I got my bags and the looked at her. "Josh did nothing wrong, I know that. I just feel that he was supposed to be responsible for Justin's actions. I would love to say I don't blame him. I really would. But if I did, I'd be lying." "Hey, Dylan," a voice called. I looked behind me and it was Juan, decked out in a nice gray Armani suit. "Hey, Juan," I greeted him back. "Ready for some flying?" "Always ready, now that I have a brand spanking new nino! Hello, Rachel. Will you be joining us?" "Sorry, Juan. Drew is waiting at the house. Just dropping Dylan here off. Have fun." With that, Rachel hopped in her car and drove off. A week earlier, Juan and I planned this brotherly experience to get to know one another. We would fly to California, since he had his own private plane, and that he knew how to fly. It had always been my dream to fly, and Juan here was living it. As we boarded the plane, I headed to put my stuff in the back while Juan started up the engine. When I got to the front, I buckled up and he talked to the radio controller. In a few short minutes, we were in the air. "So how long have you been doing this," I asked, trying to break the ice. "For roughly about eight years. I started when I was sixteen, and been doing it ever since. My abuelo taught me." "Abuelo?" "Are you meaning to tell me that you use to live in Florida and yet you don't know what "abuelo" means?" "I know about as much Spanish as my father did." "Well, you father- I mean our father, spoke a lot of Spanish, trust me. There was a time we would just talk in Spanish only around the house, to get him use to it. That was funny." "How do you feel about finding out your Uncle Bobby was really your father? I never asked you." "In all honesty, I feel gypped. I mean, I got to know him and he treated me like his son, but he was my father, you know. Just to know him and talk to him and call him dad would have felt good. I know why he did it, though." "Why?" "He wanted to protect me. I mean loosing my mother and my grandfather was bad enough. And loosing him was terrible, but to loose him as a father, that would have been awful. Everyone I have ever loved is dead." "But you gained two brother's and a niece. I know it is not a replacement, but it's not meant to be. Drew, Jessie, Rachel, and I are here for you. True the whole thing was just thrown into our laps, but we can make the best of it." "And your mother? What happened to her anyway?" "She took a plane back to her house. She doesn't like you, honestly." "And everyone else?" "Well, Drew thinks you're awesome. It's one thing being an older brother of one, but of two, it puts his ego at cloud nine." "And you? What do you think of me?" "Well, so far you seem cool. Hopefully we will get to know each other better." "That's what I'm hoping," Juan said. I believe it was then, where I began feeling his hand massaging my leg. I looked down at my leg and there was his brown hand rubbing my leg, and then inched up. Then I looked at his face. It seemed content. "Juan," I said, "what are you doing?" "Helping you relax." "Do you understand what `brother' means?" Juan then leaned in and kissed me on the lips. I pulled him off. "Eyes on the road, or whatever. Juan, if we messed around, it would be incest." "But you do find me attractive?" "I also have a boyfriend." "So that's a yes?" "That's a `we will never have sex for as long as we live,' got it?" "Sorry. I don't even know what came over me. You're just so attractive and you're white. I doesn't register that you are part of my family." "So you're gay?" "Yep. I know you are. Uncle Bobby always said that if science weren't in the way, we'd make a great couple. Now I know what he means." We both giggled. "I'm sorry, Dylan," Juan sighed. "I hope we can forgive and forget." "Consider both done." A few hours of talk and memories came along before I fell asleep. When I woke up, we landed in Los Angeles. I exited his plane while he put it in a private hanger. We met at the taxi I held for us and went to our hotel. We were next to each other, but it didn't connect. I unpacked while Juan came in. "Domingo Fashions called. They want to see us tomorrow at noon," Juan smiled. "Domingo Fashions," I asked. "What is that?" "Apparently, our new company." I smiled and quickly ran to the telephone. I called Josh's house and it rang three times before someone picked up. "Hello," the voice said. It was a bass voice, with a hint of femininity in it. "Um, is Josh there?" The voice laughed, then moaned. "Sorry, he's busy. Can I ask who it is?" "Oh, it's-" "OH GOD, YES JOSH! RIGHT THERE!" The voice was loud, like he was having sex. I immediately hung up. Juan sensed something was up. "Nothing," I said in a stern tone, "Let's go get hammered." And with that, Juan and I went to hit the LA bars. To Be Continued.