**************************************************      Disclaimer      **************************************************

The following story contains homosexual activities and is not suitable for younger viewers.  You must be at least 18 years of age.  I in no way know the true sexuality of Kevin Richardson or any of the members of Backstreet Boys.   This story is strictly fictional.


*Author's Note*

I've received some more emails since Chapter 3.   Again, I'm very glad to hear that most of you are enjoying this story.  I've even had some complaints about the style of my writing.  Apparently some of you find this story addicting.  I apologize in advance, and would like to give fair warning.   **The following story may contain cliff hangers, and you may find yourself addicted to the contents.  Non of the contents are artificially flavored, so you'll get a full taste of whatever comes your way!** LOL ;>  Enjoy guys!



Light In The Ashes
Chapter 4


It took me a minute to realize what I'd just done.  I wasn't sure if it was the right thing.  I just shook it off and went into the shower.  A nice hot shower usually allowed me to think a little more clearly.

As I lathered up the soap, I began to think of what had happened in the last 3 days.  It was rather overwhelming.  I mean I had just finally gotten over James, and a new.....gorgeous....famous.....man had entered my life.  I don't know where this is all heading.  I can't figure any of it out.   Could it be that I'm too scared to get into another relationship?  There I go again, assuming he's gay.

As I began to wash my genitals, I couldn't help but spend a little extra time on my balls.  It had been a few days since I had masturbated, and I was kind of horny.  I couldn't get Kevin's face out of my head.   I slowly caressed my balls, making my way gently up my penis, until I reached the tip of my head.  I slowly circled my head with my finger.  God it felt good.   I was now fully erect.  I began to gently tug on my now hard penis.  I felt like I was in heaven.  Kevin's smiling face was emblazoned in my mind.  It was then, at that moment, that I realized I was going to have to at least find out if Kevin was gay.

I quickly finished washing myself up, and got out of the shower.

I ran over to the phone and dialed Kevin's number.

"Hello?" Kevin answered.

"Hey Kevin.  It's Rick." I said nonchalantly.

"Hiya Rick!" he said excitedly.

"Hey.  Are we still on for later?" I asked.

"If you're up to it!" he exclaimed.

"Sure." I said with a smile on my face.

"Ok then.  I'll see you at 3?" he asked.

"3 it is." I said.  We said goodbye and hung up.

I went to the bathroom and threw up.  This "dating" a famous person was just too much for me to handle.  I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to pull this thing off this afternoon.  Last thing I need, is to throw up all over him.  I brushed my teeth and got dressed.  I called Heather and asked if she wanted to go to breakfast.  She quickly agreed.

**Breakfast at some un-mentioned place*

"So.  You still mad at me?" I asked shoving a fork full of eggs into my mouth.

"Of course I am!" she glared at me.   "But only till I see you pay for breakfast." she burst out laughing.

"Oh!  A women who can be bought by food.  I suppose it's better then being able to buy you with booze." I laughed.

"Booze is good too." she chuckled.

"Anyway.  I'm gonna be seeing Kevin today." I said looking up to see her expression.

"That's good." she smiled.

"I'm not exactly sure where things are headed.  I haven't decided if I'm able to handle the fact that I may be dating a superstar.  It's not an easy thing to accept." I said.

"I know Rick.  It hit you pretty hard.   I just don't understand why.  I mean, you met Kevin.  Not superstar Kevin.  You're getting to know him, for who he is.  That's gotta count for something." she said trying really hard not to hurt my feelings.

"I know.  We'll see what happens today." I said smiling.

We finished off our breakfast's and I dropped Heather off at home before I went to pick up Kevin.

When I pulled up to the hotel, Kevin was once again waiting at the entrance.

He got into the car and we said hello.

"So.  How was the show you saw last night?" Kevin asked smiling, completely unaware that I had actually been at his concert.

"Well....it was ok for the most part.   I didn't end up staying very long though." I said.

"Oh?  Why's that?" he asked concerned.

"Because I found out that the guy I'm seeing is a superstar." I said trying not to laugh, and actually mentally slapping myself for just admitting to Kevin that I'm gay.  Or at least hinting towards the fact.

"Huh?  What do you mean?" he looked at me all confused.

I turned to face him.

"There's something you don't know about me.   I'm gay." I said.

"Well.  That makes 2 of us!" he laughed.

I just looked at him not changing my serious expression.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Well.  I'm kind of having some sort of problem.  You see, it was your concert I went to see last night.  I ended up leaving because I saw you on stage." I said.

"Was I that bad?" he chuckled.

I couldn't help but chuckle back.

"No no.  It wasn't that.  It's just that....well..reality kicked in.  I realized that I'm dating a superstar.   It was overwhelming, and I had to leave.  Had to go and think." I said trying to make sense of what I was saying.

"I understand Rick.  I know it's overwhelming.  I mean, it is for me too you know.  It's not often I meet a guy that I find interesting.  Let alone someone that doesn't know I'm a superstar.   That's why I never told you.  I figured if you knew, you would have told me.   And if you didn't know, it would give you a chance to get to know me first." he said smiling at me.

"I know.  I understand that.  I'm just not sure if I can deal with this kind of relationship." I said looking away.

"I wasn't aware that it had become a relationship yet." he said smiling.

I flashed him a look and giggled.

"I guess your rig....." I began to say when he grabbed my chin and pulled me close.  I was looking straight into those gorgeous green eyes.  He kissed me softly on the lips.

"There.  Now it's a relationship." he smiled.

A tear rolled down my cheek.

"I'm sorry.." he said.  "I didn't mean to offend you."

"It's not that." I said.

"Well then what is it?  Am I moving too quickly?" he asked with concern.

"Kind of.  I mean, I just now got over my last relationship, and it's been a year.  I don't want to rush into something I don't see working out in the future." I said wiping away my tear.

"What do you mean by 'something I don't see working out in the future'?" he gave me a funny look.

"I mean...how would this work?  You're on tour.  I can't leave.  I have a job.  We'll never see each other.   Sure, we'll talk and write, but it's not enough." I said.

"Whoa.  Slow down there.  I thought you wanted to take things slow?" he smiled.

"I do.  But that doesn't mean I can't think about the future.  And that's just what I see when I stop and think about this whole thing." I said trying not to hurt his feelings.

"I know.  I see that too.  But do you know what else I see?" he grinned.

"What?" I asked.

"I see a relationship that's just starting out.  A friendship I mean.  A friendship that could lead to more.  A friendship that's strong and healthy.  Strong enough to build, and maintain a healthy relationship in the future.  I think if we think about what's going on now, and not worry about the future, things will work out a lot better then you realize." he smiled giving me a peck on the cheek.

I blushed.  "I guess you're right."

"Shall we continue with our plans to head to the mall?" he asked flashing me a gorgeous smile.

I nodded and proceeded to the mall.


**Later on that day*

We had a great time at the mall.  We went from store to store, to store.  It was a blast.  We chatted a lot, and got to know each other a bit better.  We had decided to sit and eat at the mall.

As we sat down with our food, my cell phone rang.

"Hello?" I answered it.

"Rick..." a female voice started.

"Heather?  What's up?" I said.

"Yeah it's me.  I have some bad news." she said.

"What's that?" I asked beginning to get worried.

"It's James.." she said, my heart sank.  "He's been in an accident."

"What?  What kind of accident?   Is he ok?" I began to raise my voice in panic.  Kevin looked at me and mouthed, 'Is everything ok?'.  I shook my head.

"I'm not sure exactly.  Apparently he had you down as spouse.  The hospital called your house.  When they found you weren't home, they continued down the list of names.  I was on the list.  All I know is he's not doing well at all." she said.

I just sat there for a minute.  Trying to take everything in.

"Rick?" I heard Heather say.

"Rick are you ok?" Kevin asked standing up.

I shook my head.

"Yeah.  Yeah I'm here..I'm ok." I managed to blurt out.  "I'm gonna go to the hospital.  Do you want me to come pick you up?" I said into my phone.

"Yeah.  I'll come with you." she said.

"Ok.  I'll be there in a few minutes." I said closing the phone.

I looked up to Kevin looking at me with worried eyes.  I couldn't help but smile at how cute he was.

"Is everything ok?" he asked.

"Not really." I said.  "My ex was in an accident.  He's not doing so well.  I'm going to head over there.   I'm really sorry."

"It's ok!  Don't apologize.  I totally understand.  Would you like me to come with you?  Or would you rather not have me along." he asked sincerely.

"I don't mind if you come along.  I don't see how fun it would be for you, but sure.  I'd like it if you came." I half smiled.

We stopped by Heather's, and picked her up.   She was kind of surprised to see Kevin still with me, but she knew this wasn't the time to go into her "teenage girl" mode.

We walked up to the information desk at the hospital, and asked where James was.  The lady gave us the information and we continued down a few halls until we reached where he was.

I walked into the room and immediately broke down.  He was just lying there lifeless with a million tubes hooked up to his body.   There were machines everywhere.

Heather put her arm around me, and attempted to comfort me.

"I want to know what happened." I said, rather sternly.

"I can fill you in." a voice said from behind.

We turned to look, and saw a tall skinny man who looked pretty banged up.  He walked over and picked up James' hand in his.  From that gesture, I gathered this is who James had left me for.

"Well?" I looked at him with disgust, rather then with sympathy.

"It wasn't his fault." he began, tears rolling down his face.  "It was the other guy.  He had been drinking.   He...just lost it...and came into our lane and hit us head on." 

By this time he was sobbing loudly.

"Where's the other guy?" I asked.

"He's dead." James' BF exclaimed.

We all stood there for a bit.  I guess it was just to let it all sink in.  I walked out to go talk to the doctor and Kevin followed me.

"Excuse me." I said the nurse.

"Yes sir?" she asked with a smile.

"I was wondering if you could give me some information on James' condition." I asked.

"Sure." she said.  "He's banged up pretty bad.  I think he'll make it, but he's got a lot of recovering to do."

"Thank you." I said as I turned to Kevin.



Fear not!  There's lot's to put into Chapter 5.  I tried to put a lot in motion here, and I don't know if I succeeded.  I guess we'll see in the next chapter!  Keep on writing to me!  I'd be glad to see some thought's/ideas/comments/suggestions/and even tasteful criticism if you have the time (Just don't ask for me to implement more sex scenes.  I stand firmly on that subject.).   I'm available via: gussie@neoncrayon.com