Date: Thu, 15 May 2003 16:47:47 -0500
From: Cameron Writer <cameronwriter@hotmail.com>
Subject: A Light in the Tunnel  chapter 19

Hello everyone! Please, don't freak out or think hell has frozen over!! This
is the second chapter in a week, but I *did* promise after not getting one
out last week. Are you calmed now? Good!

I don't really have much to say, which, depending on how well you know me,
is quite amazing! That said, I won't waste your time by filling needless
space. I know you'd rather read than listen to me jabber.

Disclaimer: I have no knowledge of NSYNC, anyone affiliated with them, or
any other celebrities that may appear here. This is a work of fiction, so
any mention of sexual orientations/habits or personalities are made up by
me! If you are offended by stories about relationships between men, or are
too young to legally read such things, please leave.

Warning: This chapter contains subjects that may be disturbing or painful
for some readers. Please be advised.

Now:

A Light in the Tunnel


Chapter 19


	"Do any of these strike your fancy?" Burke and Justin scanned the glass
enclosed cases, searching among the display for a necklace for Josh. They
had already made their way through two jewelry stores, but Burke hadn't seen
anything he really liked.
	"Not really. I'm not even sure what I'm looking for, but I figure I'll know
it when I see it."
	"That's what I used to do when I would shop for Brit."
	Burke let his hand rest on a case, and turned to his older brother. No one
went out of their way to keep Britney's name out of conversations, but it
still wasn't brought up often. "Mind if I ask you something?" Justin nodded
while still looking for a present. "What happened with you two? I know the
rumor mill does its own thing, but I had the impression that you were almost
to the point of getting married or something."
	Justin sighed, looking at Burke. "We sort of were. You know, the Hollywood
dream couple of the year. But then one day we were talking, and WHAM!, we
realized that the love we had for each other was more of a brother-sister
thing. We had a lot of things in common, but that doesn't matter much when
it comes to the rest. We met when we were really young-"
	"On the Mickey Mouse Club."
	"Yeah. Since then we've been best friends, and that influenced the way we
thought about each other. Sure, Brit is gorgeous, but it's like I'm saying
that about my sister. Yuck!"
	Burke snickered. "That doesn't make much sense, Just. Josh is my brother,
but I still think of him in a romantic way."
	"Then you're a pervert! Are you sure you didn't grow up in the sticks like
Lansten?"
	"I'm going to tell him you're making fun of Mississippi people!" They
glared at each other for a moment, threats hanging in the air, then cracked
up laughing. "Come on, we better get moving. I'm already in trouble for
stealing you this afternoon."
	The mall had one more jewelry store, and they went in, both hopeful the
right piece was just waiting for them. "Ooh! I like this one," Justin raved
as he pointed to a diamond and silver musical note.
	"I don't have enough money for that."
	"Then I'll pay what you don't have."
	"Thanks, but no thanks. I want to get this on my own. I know you don't
mind, but I do." Justin shrugged, and they continued searching. "This is
it!"
	"Which one?"
	"The sun and moon one." Burke waved a clerk over, and had her pull out the
pendant. It was a sun of topaz, fitted by a blue quartz crescent moon. "I
love it! What do you think? Will Josh like it?"
	"Bro, he'd like it if you gave him a picture of flowers, but, yeah, he'll
love it. I like it too, if my opinion counts. Do you have enough money for
it?"
	"Just enough. The price includes a chain too." Excited, he had the woman
put it in a gift box, and they left, Burke clutching the box to his chest.
Once back at the hotel, Burke showed the necklace to his friends, careful to
keep Josh from having a clue about the surprise. They all agreed that it was
perfect, Lance going as far as explaining his view.
	"Josh has one of those personalities that attract attention, you just have
to look at him. Sort of like the sun on a nice day. But you are quiet and
shy, like the moon. But they go together, see? The sun gets its rest while
the moon is out, and the moon get its light from the sun. Maybe that's why
you two are good together. I don't know if that makes any sense."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

	"Uh oh," Joey toned, reading the note left for them in the greenroom.
"Looks like headquarters is sending one of the lawyers to go over some stuff
with us. Ten bucks it's about Burke's remodeling project."
	Burke gulped, wondering if he had caused some trouble. "Don't worry about
it, son. They're probably going to tell us that they'll pay for the
decorating, but will hold us responsible for any damage done or if we don't
like the way it turns out. It's no biggie."
	Richard, as was his habit, stuck his head into the room. "Twenty minutes,
guys."
	"Are you all sure he knows what he's doing? He seems nervous all the time."
Burke had noticed, though it didn't take a genius, that the road manager
darted in and out quickly, hardly staying around long enough to give out
schedules or instructions before leaving again.
	"He used to work for the competition," Josh stated. "There was some
problem, a conflict of personalities, between him and BSB, and I think he's
trying to keep a low profile or something. I don't care as long as he does
his job."
	"Can you do us a favor, little man?"
	"Just ask, Joe."
	"This thing doesn't say when the lawyer is supposed to be here, so could
you stick around here in case he shows up while we're on stage?" Burke's
lower lip stuck out. "We'll make sure there's a TV or something brought in
so you can watch the show."
	"Then, ok!"
	"Sheesh! You'd think that you've never seen us perform, Burke."
	"But I love you all, Lansten! You're my heroes! Not to mention, the best
family a guy could ever have. Break a leg, guys!" On their way out the door,
each paused to give Burke a hug and kiss. Lance and Joey's on the cheek,
Chris' on his forehead, and Josh's on the lips. Blushing, Burke saw a
conniving, evil grin on Justin's face. "I don't like that look."
	Justin grabbed the sides of his head, yanked him close, and kissed him on
the lips, pulling away with a loud smack. Burke wiped his face as if a dog
had slobbered all over him, and Justin cackled. "I don't like feeling left
out," he smirked, winking as he rushed to join the others.
	"I'm going to get you for that, you curly headed freak!" Burke screamed
after him.
	The singers were almost done with their second encore. Knowing there was no
way he could be caught, Burke had been a little freer with his cheering. No
one was there to see him dance around the room, trying his best to copy the
steps his friends were doing out front. And there was no one around to hear
him bend his voice to perfectly match whoever was singing at a particular
moment. Knowing they would be another few moments, he checked the adjoining
shower room, making sure someone had remembered to stock it with towels and
soap. "Um, hello?" a voice called out as he was unwrapping a bar of soap.
"I'm supposed to meet NSYNC to discuss a few matters."
	The man's voice seemed vaguely familiar, but Burke couldn't place it.
"You're in the right place," he hollered back. "Be right with you." He
finished his task, wiping the residue on his pants' leg. He stepped into the
greenroom, and stared at the man on one of the couches, sitting in the spot
that had quickly been deemed his place. It took only a moment to recognize
the short, balding man with a flabby, protruding stomach. Memories, pushed
away, came flooding back, Burke's skin turning white. His breathing became
short and shallow, almost panting as he tried to think of an escape.
	The man looked up, his eyebrows knitting together as he tried to place the
trembling young man across the room. "You!" he hissed, placing the face.
"You fucking punk!" Burke dropped to the floor, curling into a ball, as he
stomped over. "You fucking owe me some fun! Especially after that stunt you
pulled. I'm gonna fuck you until your head explodes, you little bastard!"
The lawyer pulled Burke to his feet, and drove a fist into his guy. "This is
payback! I don't know what you're doing here, but you're gonna wish you
weren't!" A vicious backhand sent Burke spiraling, the back of a chair the
only thing saving him from crashing to the concrete floor. Still cussing and
making threats, the man wrenched the sobbing boy's arms behind him, his
fingers digging into the bony wrists. Burke felt a cord being wrapped around
his hands, his brain shutting down. He was dragged into the shower room, the
door shutting behind them.
	"I've been thinking about this day since you tried to chew my dick off!" he
snarled. "I'm gonna love tearing your tight little ass open." Too scared to
fight, Burke just cowered, crying and praying. "Oh yeah, baby. This is gonna
be fun!" Between sobs, he heard the sound of a zipper being pulled down.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

	"Hopefully that lawyer isn't boring Burke to death," Lance smiled as they
made their way through the twisting, tumultuous backstage area.
	"Nah, if anything, our little brother has charmed the pants off him and now
has a new grandfather!"
	"Uh, guys, they're not here." Everyone stopped in the doorway, looking
around. Burke didn't usually wander off without telling someone, knowing
full well it bothered Chris, so Justin stopped one of the security guards.
"Darius, do you know if Burke went somewhere?"
	"No, Justin. Richard let the guy from Jive in there a few minutes ago. As
far as I know, Burke was in there. Actually, we were enjoying listening to
him singing along with you all."
	Chris frowned, already becoming anxious. "Thanks, Darius."
	"I'm sure he's being polite and giving the guy a tour or something."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

	The man's hand clamped over his mouth as they heard the door outside open.
"You just keep your mouth shut," he whispered. "I'm going to have my fun,
then I'm going to call security and tell them you broke in. That's jail
time, baby. Too bad those bubbas aren't going to get a virgin ass!" Burke
struggle to wiggle away as he reached for the front of his pants. Knowing
his family was only a few feet away, and probably wondering where he was
instead of getting ready to shower, Burke knew he had only one chance before
it would be too late. Still making an attempt at resisting, he managed to
turn them around. The man was fumbling with his button fly jeans, and didn't
notice him swinging his leg out to the metal folding chair.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

	CRASH
	"What the hell was that?" Justin yelped, jumping in the air.
	"Sounds like something fell over in the bathroom," Joey said, crossing the
room. "Duh! I bet Burke's in there."
	"Then where is the lawyer guy?"
	Joe frowned at Chris, hoping their little brother turned up soon. "Uh, you
in there, little man?" He listened at the door. Another clang sounded
within. "Burke? Are you ok?" Not waiting for a response, he opened the door.
"What the fuck!" Everyone rushed over as Joey's face turned red, his eyes
narrowing to slits. The big man shot into the bathroom, the others not far
behind. The fat man, his pants around his ankles, was tackled to the floor,
Joey's fist rising and falling like a jackhammer. "You fucking bastard! I'll
kill you! I'll kill you!" Over and over he punched the man, not caring about
the blood dripping from his knuckles.
	"Oh god, Burke!" Chris gathered his son to his chest, trying to lead him
out of the bathroom and away from the carnage Joey was causing. Lance ran
for security while Josh struggled with the rope around his boyfriend's
wrists. Justin simply stood in the doorway, a stony expression on his face.
	"What were you trying to do to him? He's just a kid, you asshole! I swear,
you're not going to live another day!"
	"Justin!" Chris gasped. "Get Joe off him before he kills the guy!"
	"Why? He deserves it, and if I do, I'll just take his place."
	A security team, spearheaded by Lonnie, poured into the room, Joey's
screams telling them exactly where the trouble was. The mammoth guard drug
Joe, enraged and fighting like a rabid animal, away. Someone else had to
move quickly as Justin dove toward the bleeding, moaning man. Warren called
for an ambulance as the singers and their brother were shuffled from the
room.
	Chris cradled Burke against him, rocking as he cried. "Oh god, Burkey boy,
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."
	"We need to know what happened," Richard spoke softly, not wanting to earn
a beating.
	"Who was that, little man?" Joey asked, trying to cover the anger in his
voice.
	His eyes clenched tightly, Burke managed to stammer an answer. "He--the guy
from--back home--the park." That started a new round of threats and yelling,
the singers all wanting another chance to finish him off.
	"Lonnie, Richard, we need to get out of here as soon as possible. The
police can come to the hotel and take a statement if they need to, but we
have to go. Now." A tight circle, they made their way to the waiting van and
sped away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

	Burke awoke from his troubled, restless sleep. He stiffened for a moment at
the arms wound tightly around his waist, but relaxed when he realized it was
Joey. Rolling, he pulled free, then stumbled into his bathroom. He hardly
recognized the boy staring back at him in the mirror. Sagging, black circles
outlined eyes that were more red than gray. It was if there was a long dead
zombie in his place. Shaking the vision away, Burke splashed cool water on
his face. Leaving his bedroom, it was easy to see that no one else had slept
well either. Justin was on one of the couches, and Josh was slumped down in
a chair turned so it faced his door. Though it was still mostly dark
outside, he could see two bodies huddled together on the suite's balcony.
Walking over to the ajar French doors, he listened to the conversation.
	"I failed him, Lance! I've tried to keep him safe, and this happens. How is
he supposed to trust me after this?"
	"Ssh, Chris. This is *not* your fault. You can't be there every second of
the day. None of us knew that was the guy from Orlando. Burke knows that."
	"No! I left him alone and this guy hurts him!"
	"It's not your fault, dad. It's nobody's except his. I didn't know who the
lawyer was, and neither did you."
	Chris jumped up from his chair, and grabbed Burke. "You don't hate me now?"
	"Hell no, dad. I love you. I'm only mad at two people. Him, for attacking
me, and myself, for not getting in a couple of blows." Burke tried to laugh,
hoping his father would understand.
	Lance, evidently, got the attempt at humor. "Trust me, Burke, he's always
going to remember you. I have it on good authority that he has a couple of
scars from his last encounter with you."
	They all giggled. "And how would you know that?"
	It was Lance's turn to look ashamed. "I'm not much of a fighter, but I have
my ways at getting back at people. With a couple of suggestions, I convinced
the cops to check him out for carrying drugs. From what I understand, they
can do that with varying degrees of pain, and I promised them a private
concert if they did it the most painful way." Burke cringed, imagining all a
well trained police officer could do with the right motivation.
	"Joey was right, you do have an inner bitch!"
	"And don't you forget it," Lance laughed. His smile faded away to a look of
complete seriousness. "I'll leave you two to talk."
	"Thanks bro," Chris sniffled. As soon as they were alone, Chris looked into
his son's eyes. "Are you alright, Burke? Honestly."
	"My arms are a little sore from being twisted, my eyes are itchy, and I'm
exhausted. That, and I'm still a little scared. I almost just laid there and
let him do it to me."
	"I'm sorry, Burkey boy. I didn't know that-"
	"I know, dad, I know. It's not your fault."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

	Two busy days had left everyone moderately refreshed, though no one spoke a
word about the attack. Whenever he sat by one of them, the singers cuddled
with Burke, keeping him close to them. Joey was having the hardest time with
everything, falling into long periods of brooding, a furious glower
darkening his face. They had been told, by Johnny, that the man was going to
be in the hospital for some time, his nose, jaw, and cheek bones all broken,
the news bringing a smug smile to the Italian singer's face. After that, he
would be tried on aggravated assault to a minor and attempted rape charges,
and Jive was handling the case personally, not willing to make a deal like
most prosecutors would. At the very least, the man, Stanley Reynolds, would
be spending ten years in prison. Lonnie, in one of the few direct
conversations he had with Burke, mentioned that he had a few connections and
would make sure the other inmates knew Reynolds was in for trying to rape a
child, something that would earn him extreme torment.
	Getting tired of the silence and fawning, though he knew it was for a
reason, Burke became frustrated, having to bite his tongue when the impulse
to rant struck. Instead, he threw himself into finalizing plans for the bus'
remodeling. "Dad," he huffed, "do you like this silver better, or the one I
showed you before."
	"This one, son. You know, Burke, we could put this off."
	"No! Listen everyone," he said, catching the group's attention. "I'm fine.
He only pushed me around a bit. I've been through much worse and you all
know it. I'll never forget everything that happened, but I'm not going to be
scared my entire life. You all taught me that."
	"Burke, you can't shove it under a rug and pretend like it didn't happen."
	"That's not what I'm doing, Lance. Yes, I'll remember it for the rest of my
life, and I'll probably be a little shaky sometimes, but if I crawl into a
hole and hide, then he took more from me than he meant to. My mother tried
to do the same thing."
	"When did you get so strong?" Chris asked with more than a little pride in
his voice.
	Burke blushed, unaccustomed to making speeches. "When you all started
loving me." Ending that issue the way they did everything else, the six men
clustered together for a group hug. "Now, can we *please* concentrate on the
bus?" He sat his laptop on the lounge's coffee table and opened the file
with his plans in it. "We need to decide on the little things. Color of the
laminate for the kitchenette, cabinet hardware, that sort of thing."
	Realizing their young friend was saying more than what was coming out of
his mouth, they fully engrossed themselves in the project.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

	After a little secret plotting, enlisting Justin and Joey's help, Burke was
getting his special evening with Josh off to a start. With a little
assistance from Johnny, they were staying at a hotel in a small town along
the interstate on the way to Indianapolis. "Hey Chris, you have to see the
sweet finishing move on my new game," Justin laughed, doing his part. With a
little persuading, he drug the man from the room.
	"Uh, Lance? I got a new script from some movie people, and I was wondering
if you'd look over it with me. You know, the pay and filming schedule."
	"Sure, Joe." They left for Joey's room.
	"I guess it's just the two of us," Josh observed.
	"Actually, we have plans too."
	"Really? When were you going to inform me?"
	Burke glanced at his watch. "Right about--now. Come on." He grabbed his
boyfriend's hand and pulled him from the room they were using as a lounge
and into his. While they were gathered elsewhere, bribed hotel staff had
rearranged the room, making space for a small table set for dinner. The
white tablecloth was covered in pink rose petals, a set of candlesticks
throwing dancing shadows on the walls.
	"Wow! Did you do all this for me?" Smiling, Burke nodded. "How did you
manage to get it all set up?"
	"If I remember right, the correct response is, 'Tricks of the trade.' Let's
sit down and eat." The plate covers were lifted away to reveal a steaming
meal of parmigiana, eggplant for Burke, veal for Josh. The beamed at each
other while eating, both happy to have a peaceful, romantic moment all to
themselves.
	"What did I do to deserve this?" Josh asked as he slip a spoonful of mint
chocolate chip ice cream into Burke's mouth.
	"You're amazing, that's what you did."
	"Coming from you, I'll take that as a compliment. We should get this
cleaned up." The stacked the plates, bowls, and silverware on a cart and
pushed it into the hall. "Thank you, Burke."
	"My pleasure, but the night's not over yet." Smiling demurely, Burke
reached out, took Josh's hand, and guided him to the bed. They laid down,
Burke's head finding it's way to the firm muscle of Josh's chest. "I got you
something," he whispered, reaching under the pillow and retrieving the
jewelry box. "I hope you like it."
	"I'm sure I will." Josh gasped as the lid flipped open. "Oh, Burke. It's
beautiful! Every time I wear it, I'll think about you and me."
	"That was the purpose. Do you really like it?"
	"Of course. You know, this reminds me of us. The sun and moon. Thank you."
He leaned down and kissed the top of Burke's head. They laid in silence,
wrapped around each other, relishing the closeness they were often denied.
"Do you promise not to freak out and run off?" Josh asked quietly.
	"You know me better than that, but yes, I promise. It's so nice laying here
that I don't ever want to get up."
	The older man's words came out in a breathy whisper, his lips tickling
Burke's ear. "I love you."
	He rolled so they were looking in each other's eyes. "I love you too,
Josh." Slowly, as if they were afraid it was all a dream and they would
awaken at any moment, they drifted closer, their lips pressing together in
an honest, emotion filled embrace. Everything they hadn't said to one
another, whether because of timidity or lack of opportunity, flowed easily
in that kiss, all knowledge being shared without fear of reprisal.
	"Burke," Josh panted as they broke away, "we should stop this before-"
	"It's alright," the boy answered, leaning in for another kiss. His fingers
tickled their way to the buttons on Josh's shirt.
	"Stop." Remembering the talk he had with Justin, Burke pulled away, feeling
only slightly hurt. "I don't want you to think you have to do this, Burke. I
love you, and it's more than enough to lay here with you in my arms. You
don't need to show me or anything." The boy's eyes misted. "I'm sorry."
	"No, you didn't do anything wrong. It's just that I think I love you more
now than I did a minute ago. I know you don't expect me to do anything, and
I'm not sure I'm ready to have sex yet, but--it's just that I want to be
close to you, really close. Can we just lay here, and hold each other all
night?"
	"And then some," came the murmured reply. "Why don't we get ready for bed
and turn in?" They got out of bed and started to undress, carefully laying
their clothes over the backs of the chairs.
	Burke stopped as he pulled off his socks, entranced by the smooth, tan skin
being revealed as Josh's shirt slipped from his shoulders.
"You're--beautiful," he sighed.
	"Another compliment from an angel," Josh smiled.
	Down to their underwear, the singer started for the bed, pulling the
blanket back. "Josh?"
	"Yes?"
	Burke closed his eyes for a moment, sure his cheeks looked as if he had
spent all day outside. Trying to look sure of himself, he crossed the room
to stand beside his boyfriend. His hand snaked out, resting on the waistband
of the man's boxers. "Could we be-"
	A finger lifted Burke's head until they were gazing at each other. "Only if
you're sure."
	"I am. I just want to be close to you." Both nervous, the last vestiges of
clothing found their way to the floor. Moving with a cat's grace, Josh blew
out the flickering candles, then swept Burke into his arms, placing him
gently on the bed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That's it for now! I hope you all liked the extreme ups and downs in this
chapter. I think, for a lot of us, that's the way life works. You either
have really good days, or really bad ones. And yes, I know that was a rotten
way to end the chapter. It's not sex, but that wasn't what I was shooting
for. This is the next step in a healthy, I hope, relationship.

As always, I'd love to hear your comments! I live for it (LOL)! You can
reach me at  cameronwriter@hotmail.com

Until next time,

Always,

Cameron