DISCLAIMER: This story is in no way true, it is fiction that came from deep within my feeble mind. I don't know the sexual orientation of any members of Nysnc and don't really care. If you don't like same sex stories than read on you might like it.
IN MY DREAMS WITH YOU
Scott lay in his bed tossing and turning after Justin had vanished from his room. Sleep came in fitful moments for the longhaired singer. His hair was damp from the sweat of restless sleep. The sheets were wrapped around his lean frame like a mummy's shroud. And the nightmares came, they always did.
The night was dark and stormy. The rain fell straight down as the heaven's opened up and poured down on the sleepy Alaskan town of Juneau.
Thunder echoed off the mountains as lightening lit up the starry October sky. With each flash of light, the thunder answered with a boom that seemed to echo throughout the night.
Standing atop a big boulder that overlooked the Mendenhall Glacier, was Scott. Barely old enough to drive a car, he stood there in his boxers. His long hair flowing in the wind. He didn't notice the rain soaking him to the bone. His gray eyes were focused on the young man that stood right below him. His best friend, and cousin, Roy.
He tried to scream out his cousin's name but the wind carried his voice down along the valley floor. Frozen on the rock, he could only watch in terror as his young cousin started up the hill towards him. Trying desperately to move, to do something to help. He knew how this would end. Every night for years this same scene played itself out in his weary mind.
Flash of light, then boom as the thunder answered.
"Roy, stop! Don't come up here!" Scott would scream and wave his hands trying to get the younger boy's attention.
But Roy looked at him and waved his arms hello. Like as if to say, I see you and I am coming.
Lightening flashed all over the valley floor charging everything in its path. Again and again it struck. So close by now that the flash of light and the sound of thunder happened simultaneously.
Then in slow motion, exactly how it happened that night, Scott could see the lightening form as it struck his younger cousin instantly killing him. Scott would fall to his knees and scream.
BACK IN THE HOTEL ROOM
"Nnnnnnnoooooooo!" Scott sat up in the bed screaming.
The sheets wrapped around his body confused him and he started fighting the unseen attacker that was threatening his life. Rolling around on the bed as his mind slowly awoke from the dream, he fell off the bed onto the floor in a pile of sheets and blankets.
Sitting up on the floor he stared out the window at the falling rain, just breathing. Trying to take deep breath's to calm himself down. Right at that moment, he was scared half out of his mind.
Then slowly he calmed down and he realized it was a dream. Cupping his face in his hands he started to cry.
A banging on the door brought his attention back to earth.
"Open up Scott! You all right?"
"Yea, give me a sec." Scott replied as he got up and walked over to the door and jerked it opened.
Garet was standing there in his boxers with his long black hair in his face. His many tattoos displayed all over his body glistened from the rain.
Scott motioned in his friend and sat on the bed trying to light up a cigarette. Garet shut the door and helped his friend light up the smoke, then he lit on up for himself.
"Do you want to talk about? You wake up screaming everynight now."
"No," Scott shook his head. "It's nothing. Just bad dreams."
"Nothing. I remember when we first started out. All of us had to share a room. You woke up screaming about the rain every fucking night. Don't tell me its nothing."
"I am fine. Christ, you act like you don't have bad dreams. I must have drank to much last night is all."
Garet didn't look convinced. He just wished that the lead singer of his band could talk about it instead of pretending that nothing was wrong.
"Why don't you talk to me? We're bandmates, I see you everyday looking like shit because you can't sleep. The only time you do sleep is when you get smashed. Then you just moan and groan all night. Damnit, you need to talk about it."
"Why? Why should I talk about? Can you help me? Can you bring him back? How bout you staying the fuck out of my life?" Scott screamed.
"Out of your life! That's the problem, I am in your life every day all fucking day. That's being a band. We're friends, we're partners, we're shrinks, and we are your life. Fuck, Scott. I just want to help." Garet pleaded.
At that moment, Greg and Garion had made it to the room. They looked like they haven't even been to sleep yet. Both of the men looked pretty drunk.
"What's going on?" Greg asked seeing his fellow bandmates glaring at each other.
"It's the fucking dreams again." Garet mumbled to no one.
Garion sadly shook his head. "You all right Scotty? You look like shit."
"Why does everyone ask me that?" Scott asked the ceiling. "It's just a little dream. Fuck, stay off my back."
Garion looked hurt as Greg voiced his opinion. "Scott, settle down man. Hey it's us. We don't hurt each other in this band. We pull together and help each other out."
Scott threw his cigarette at the ashtray and turned his back on his band mates and went into the bathroom slamming the door.
"What the hell was that about, Gar?"
"I don't know. I was sleeping and heard a scream. I knocked on his door and he went crazy. He is in so much pain. I don't know want to do or what to say anymore." Garet answered as he sat down in the chair.
Greg had been reading the note Justin had left and softly whistled. "I think I know what is wrong. It's not just the dreams. Listen to this."
Greg read the note to his friends and when he finished they all just stared at one another.
"Damn, Justin knows more about him then most people. I wonder how he got him to tell them all that." Garion remarked.
"Hey, I wish Justin could stay and talk to him some more. We have been together almost two years, and we barely no shit about one of our best friends. I haven't ever seen him this upset." Greg stated vehemently.
"I haven't seen him with anyone since we started this band. Two years without sex could drive a man crazy. I think Justin pierced his armor. It must be tough to be gay playing this type of music. Not a lot of queers listen come to the show's you know."
"Christ Garion. Don't call em queers. Jesus." Garet chided.
"You know what I mean. I don't have a problem, if I did I wouldn't be in this band with Scott." Garion said defensively.
"Do you think that's it? Does Scott have a crush on that boy band kid?" Asked Greg.
"Maybe, that would seem to fit his anger right now. Damn," Garion read from the letter. "Remember that love is real."
"I would have loved to heard that conversation. I thought at least he would get laid. Justin bought all that shit just to get his room number." Greg laughed.
Glancing at the doorway, Garet asked. "What are we going to do about him? He is really pissed off right now. One of us should talk to him."
"I'll do it. You guys get out of here. You look like you could use some sleep. You better not suck tonight or I will kick both of your asses." Garet warned.
"You and who else, you freaky little devil worshipper." Greg teased his friend. "See you later Gar."
"Garet, make sure we are up by four p.m. Good luck with sissy mary boy." Garion jabbed.
Garet rolled his eyes as his two friends left the room. Steeling his self, he approached the bathroom door.
MEANWHILE IN A LUXURY SUITE
"What happened curly?" Jc questioned his friend.
Rolling his eyes, Justin answered for the fifth time. "Nothing happened. I said I was sorry for being a dick, and we drank some beers. He said he needed a shower, so I left. That's all."
"You sure no boom boom happened?" Jc laughed as pretended to hump the chair.
"You are such a idiot. Boom boom? Give me a break." Justin rolled his eyes at his best friend.
"I can't believe you bought all that shit. Justin's got it bad for the red streaked lead singer of Zylvan. Curly has a boyfriend. Curly has a boyfriend." Jc danced all around the room acting like a little kid.
Throwing a pillow at the brunet, Justin put his head in his hands and said over and over again. "I live with kids. I thought I was the youngest."
"You are the youngest. But I can still act like a kid if I want to. So there." Jc stuck his tongue out at his friend.
"So," Jc asked seriously. "Is he nice? His songs were a bit depressing don't you think?"
Justin leaned back into the chair and replied, "He is very nice. But I think his heart is broken. He seems so sad. Like he keeps everyone at arm's length, but yet he wants to grab on to you and never let you go. It's like he's pushing you and pulling you at the same time. My heart went out to him, but I don't think there is anything I could do to help him."
"You can't help everyone Justin. Sometimes people have to grow on their own. If he's not ready, no one can help him until he helps himself." Jc tried to comfort his friend.
"I know, but he's so cute when he smiles. Like a vulnerable kid, you should have seen him when I was bitching at him to go away yesterday. He just looked at me with those stormy gray eyes. His mouth was calling me all sorts of names but those eyes were pleading for help." Justin stated sadly.
Trying to change the subject, Jc continued. "Well, his band is really good. I can't believe they don't have a major label yet. And the girls would go crazy for his rugged good looks and long blonde hair. Ohhhh."
Jc stuck out his lower lip and batted his eyelashes seductively.
Justin started laughing. "He is sexy. I saw him in his room with just his pants on. What a body."
"Do you know if he's gay?"
Justin grinned at his friend. "Of course he is. You don't think I would do what I did last night unless I was sure, do you. Don't think I would like that to get out."
"How could you tell? He didn't look gay to me. Just like you said, he looked sad." Jc asked his friend.
"The first time I saw him watching me on the court yesterday, I could see the lust in his eyes. That's why I went to his room. I figured we could have some fun while we're stuck in this fucking hotel." Justin shouted the last sentence at the sky.
"Then why didn't you? You said you just talked then left." Jc wondered as a look of confusion rested on his countenance.
"I am not sure. I was horny at first, let me tell you. His body, oh man, his smooth chest. His rippled pecs. He has the nicest tummy I have ever seen on a person. Damn, he is perfect to look at. And those piercing eyes of his. I could lose myself in them forever." Justin sighed.
Jc crinkled his nose at hearing the description. "Then why didn't you fuck him. If you think he's that hot, you should have."
Justin stood up and started pacing the floor. "I found myself just wanting to talk. To try to get to know him. There is something about him that fascinates me to no end. I wish we were staying here today so I could talk to him again."
"Didn't you hear? Tonight's show is cancelled because of the hurricane. I guess we have to stay here at least another day."
"Really," Justin stopped pacing. "Oh shit!"
"He went him to take a shower and then I wrote him a note saying that I had to leave early today." Justin moaned.
"I thought you wanted to talk to him again? Now you have your chance." Jc answered puzzled.
Justin shook his head. "Not after I left without saying a word. Then that note. Why did I have to write that fucking note?"
"What did you tell him?"
"Remember that song I wrote called All for you?"
"Yea, your voice is a song, right?"
"Yep, I wrote that song down then I told him that love was real and when he found that out maybe we would meet again. I can't talk to him again today. He would think I was fucking with him."
"Sometimes you are so stupid. Why did you tell him that? Chris is going to love that one."
Justin looked up at Jc with a scared expression. "You aren't going to tell the guys are you?"
Jc smiled. "We have to tell them something. They were right there when you asked for his room number. It's nothing bad, why not tell them."
"Why not tell us what?" Lance asked as he walked into the room with Chris and Joey.
Justin just groaned again and plopped down into a chair.
"Did Curly get some last night?" Joey teased the youngest member.
Justin groaned again.
Jc started laughing as he related the story to the group of friends. They all thought Justin was in a real funny situation.
"Did you out smart yourself again kid?" Lance asked with a sincere look on his face that was ruined by him trying to suppress a giggle.
"Shut up guys. This is horrible." Justin exclaimed.
"What's the big deal?" Joey asked as he looked over the room service menu. "Call him up and go out for lunch. Say that you don't have to leave until tomorrow. He'll understand, hell, he's in the business too."
"Yea," Chris offered. "If he knows anything about you at all, he understand."
"What's that suppose to mean?" Justin pretended to be mad
"Well," Joey offered. "You do have a reputation for being a blonde."
The four other members laughed at their nervous friend sitting in the chair.
"Get out of my room. I thought you were my friends." Justin did what he did best. He pouted like a little kid.
Seeing that it didn't affect his friends, he stormed into the bathroom to get a shower before breakfast. As he jumped into the shower, Lance poked his head in the door and asked what he wanted for breakfast.
"You know what I want asshole. The same thing I want every morning."
He was answered with a giggle. As Lance shut the door Justin could hear him say to the guys. "I just saw Justin Timberlake naked."
Justin shook his head as he started to rinse off his body. His thoughts going back to the previous night.
Why didn't I just fuck him and get it over with? At first, that's all he wanted to do. As he talked to the singer, Justin started feeling butterflies in his stomach. That nervous feeling that you get when you start falling for someone.
Trying to talk himself out of it, he tried to list the reasons that he should just forget about him. Both of them are in the music business. Trying to schedule a day off would be murder. Justin knew that he would not have fame forever and he wanted to make sure he made as much money as possible before he was yesterday's news.
And he would not give up his career for a man, would he? But those eyes kept calling him back. Even as he thought about them now, blood started flowing to his member.
Softly stroking his cock, he began to fantasize about Scott. What would it be like to kiss those full lips? Gently grasping his cock, a soft moan escaped from his lips.
By now his cock was at full mast. Just like his picture perfect body, his cock was even beautiful. His curly blonde pubic hair was a nice resting-place for his six-inch dick. His balls weren't huge, but they matched his cock perfectly. As his stroking became more violent, his balls started to bounce off his thigh with every tug.
His breathing started to increase as his balls stopped swaying with the motion as they drew tight up against his body. His approaching orgasms had him weak at the knees. He slouched up against the shower wall, breathing heavily. Finally, he felt the sweet release of orgasm. Shooting out and hitting the shower door directly in front of him. As he waited for the tremors to subsided, he gently milked the rest of his come out of his cock.
Standing under the shower, he cleaned up from his morning exercise. He grabbed the shampoo, and begun the daily task of washing and fixing his hair. All the while he thought about Scott and what he was going to say to him later on that day.
After he got out of the shower, he looked at the clock. Only 9:30, he had plenty of time to figure out what he was going to do.
He left the bathroom whistling as he went to Lance's room to eat breakfast with the rest of the guys.
BACK IN SCOTT'S ROOM
Scott was sitting down on the toilet crying softly to himself when he heard a gentle knock on the door. He didn't answer and a few minutes later the knock came again.
"Go away, I'm taking a shit."
"Scott, I need to talk to you. So, when you're done, I'll be waiting for you." Garet said gently.
Damn! He thought. I can't stay here forever. Scott stood up and flushed the toilet to continue his ruse. He opened the door and walked out into the room to see Garet sitting in a chair smoking.
Sitting on the bed, Scott looked at his friend and writing partner. Garet didn't say anything but handed him a cigarette.
"Sorry about what I said earlier. I don't know what's wrong with me."
"Forget it," Garet replied. "We all get tired and pissed. But we always work it out."
"Are the guys okay?" Scott asked with concern.
"You know them. I don't think anyone could ever really piss them off. There're in bed sleeping it off. They want us to wake them around four." Garet told his friend.
"Do you want to tell me about your dream?" Garet asked not giving up.
Scott sighed loudly and fell back onto the bed. As he lay there stretched out, he covered his face with his hands. For a few minutes there was silence, then Scott spoke.
"A few years ago, my cousin and I, along with dozen or so friends were partying at the Mendenhall Glacier back in my home town. It was one of the few places that the kids could go to smoke some weed and have a few beers."
Garet just nodded.
Standing up, a far away look came on Scott face, like he was remembering something very painful.
"It was a beautiful day at first. The road to get to the glacier wound its way along the mountains. As you came around the last bend, about a half mile away you could see the glacier snaking all the way into the distance. At the base of the glacier was a lake. The lake stretched for about three miles. It was fed by a beautiful waterfall that cascaded right next to the glacier."
"Where you parked your cars, there was a little path that was surrounded by trees on both sides. Walking down the path, we used to play that we were explorers. When we finally reached the side of the lake, we would act like we were the first people to ever see it. The path ended at a big fucking boulder."
Scott laughed softly. "The boulder must have weighed at least 10,000 thousands pounds. It was fucking huge. That was the place we used to party at. If you faced the glacier while you were standing on top of the boulder, it was a fifty foot drop to the shoreline of the lake."
Garet tried to visualize the place that his friend remembered so vividly. He could almost see the crystal blue water as it fell down the mountainside to crash into the lake.
"During spring, you could sit on that boulder and watch chunks of the glacier break off and fall into the lake. It was beautiful. A miniature ice flow."
Scott's eyes got dark and misty. "Even though it was October, it wasn't that chilly yet. Don't get me wrong, it was around thirty degrees, but hey, we were Alaskan's. We were used to that. It was such a beautiful night."
"The winter storm came up so suddenly. One second it was clear the next it was raining. Lightening was flashing across the sky, and the thunder rolled across the valley. We were so fucking stupid. We kept drinking and smoking. We were invincible. The great explorers who thought they found the glacier."
By this time, Scott had tears streaming down his face. From time to time he would absently wipe them away with the back of his hand.
Garet nodded with encouragement. "Go on."
"The lightening started flashing all around us. I could feel the electricity in the air. It happened so fast. One second we were laughing and joking. The next, my cousin Roy, was struck down from the sky. The doctors said he died instantly. But to this day I can still smell his burnt flesh as I held him in my arms."
"I am so sorry, Scott." Garet stated with a tear falling down his cheek.
"It's okay. Sometimes when it rain's, it all comes rushing back." Scott stood and looked out the window. "Fuck, I hate the rain."
Garet didn't know what to say to his friend. He had been lucky. No one that he loved had died yet. He didn't know what to say. So he sat there in silence.
"You want to know a fucked up thing. Roy and I used to play in the rain all the time. Sometimes I miss that. Naïve boys playing in the rain." Scott said as he drifted back to a better time.
Both men sat in silence, trying to come to terms with the story that had just been said. Garet trying to comfort his friend but not knowing how. And Scott trying to justify the death of his cousin. No matter what he thought, his death was on Scott's hands. It was his idea to go and party that night. He made his cousin do it. The blame was on him, and it was slowly eating him from the inside.
Garet broke the silence. "Scott, I do feel bad for you. But I don't think you could have done anything to save him. Mother Nature is no respecter of people."
"I asked him to go out there that night. It was my fault that he was there."
"No it wasn't. I had a friend, Andy. Andy got his younger brother high one time. His brother started smoking all the time after that. Got mixed up with a lot of bad people. During a drug deal, something went wrong and Andy's little brother was shot and killed. Andy blamed himself for years, because he got his brother high for the first time."
"What does that have to do with me?" Scott interrupted.
"Shut up and listen. A few years later, Andy was seeing this shrink. And the man gave him some good advice."
Scott glanced at his friend. "What?"
"Andy's brother got high because he wanted to get high. If Andy wouldn't have given it to him, someone else would have. You don't force people to do things or go places. Your cousin went that night because he wanted to. It was tragic that it had to end that way, but you didn't make him go there."
Scott slowly shook his head with a look of disbelief. He kind of understood what Garet was saying, but he had carried this guilt for such a long time that he didn't want to let it go. So he just smiled at his friend.
"Scott, I am hungry. Want to get breakfast?" Garet asked trying to lighten the mood.
"No, I am going to try to go back to bed. I will see you later on today at sound check."
"Are you okay?" Garet asked.
"Yea, I'm going to be all right." Scott smiled trying to reassure his friend. "Thanks."
"No problem. I will see you later." Garet said as he walked out the door.
Scott sat for a while before picking up his guitar. He started playing a melody and soon started to softly sing. Writing the song with all the pain he carried on his young life.
Take everything that I own
My destination's unknown
If I started to yell
Could you even tell
Would it do any good
I'm not asking for change
I know it sounds strange
But it feels pretty good
Feeling this bad
I am invincible
At an all time low
But it feels good
Feeling this bad
I'm at the end of my rope
I just remember a joke
Have you heard the one
About the one I've become
But it feels really good
Feeling this bad
I am invincible
At an all time low
But it feels good
Feeling this bad
Scott continued to play this song over and over again until he just broke down and cried. Laying down on the bed, he prayed that sleep would overtake him and let him rest in peace. The nightmare didn't come this time; instead it was of Justin. And needless to say, Scott didn't cry during this one.
NOTES: I want to thank all those people who emailed me with their thoughts on the story so far. Thank you. This story seems to be writing itself, so the following chapters will be posted as fast as I can without sending in a chapter everyday. Don't want to overload Dave the caretaker of Nifty. Give a huge hand to him for keeping up this site for our entertainment. As always, all emails are welcomed.Wolfflyer26@yahoo.com
Peace and stuff
All songs by Laney Jane publishing, EMI music
Copyright ©2001 Glacier Boy