Well, it's amazing! Look! Another chapter! Sorry everyone for not writing any sooner. I really felt it was just a pain to write so I took a sabbatical from writing and well it's back! Sorry the last chapter sucked, I didn't want to write it. Now, I want to write again so I am. I had writers block and I had an accident with the stairs as well that hospitalized me for a day. Not to worry everything is just peachy now. Since the last time I talked to you I have come out to basically all of my friends. It was really difficult to do but I feel so much better that I am not hiding it anymore.

I have a new e-mail address so you all can e-mail me please! It's spifty214@aol.com. So ya'll know the drill...questions, comments, complaints, concerns or whatever else e-mail me!

I have a few people to thank. First, I would like to thank Jilly, my literary assistant. Without her I couldn't write these stories. I have made her love Lance, it's amazing. Second, I would like to thank Josh, for making me smile. He is my inspiration for writing. Last, and certainly not least, I would like to thank everyone who reads this, more so to those that e-mail me. The e-mails are really what keep me going, I love to write but the e-mail helps. So like I said before, e-mail me...I don't bite...hard. hehe

Ok, so I think I have said enough...Lights...Camera...Action!

Lonely Lance...Chapter 15

Lance woke up at 9:30 alone in his bed. He looked around the dimly lit room and did not see Steve. He slowly crept out of bed and went into the bathroom. As he relieved himself he noticed that there were towels missing off the shelf above the toilet. He knew where Steve would be. He went to his suitcase and quickly put a bathing suit on and an old t-shirt. He took his room key and left the room and went into the elevator. The hotel was virtually empty. It was a Monday morning in mid December. The elevator ride was quick and he made his way around the circle lobby trying to find the pool. After a few minutes of searching he found it, and a boy vigorously swimming laps. He stood there watching the muscles in Steve's back relax and contract as he made his way through the water. Lance didn't say anything. He took off his shirt and jumped in the pool a few feet from Steve.

"What the fuck do you think you a..." Steve stopped mid sentence as he realized who it was.

"Go on, finish." Lance said smiling.

"Good morning sunshine." Steve said.

"Good morning babe, what are you doing down here? Isn't your mom's funeral at noon?" Lance asked.

"Yeah it is, I am just kinda depressed right now and whenever I get like this I swim or jog and it gets me away from things for a while." Steve said.

"I am sorry babe." Lance said as he moved closer to Steve and caressed his cheek.

"Lance, please don't, not now. I need to be alone right now." Steve said as he pulled away from Lance. Steve began swimming laps again. Lance got out of the pool and walked over to the hot tub and got in. He felt hurt. All he wanted was to make Steve happy and he couldn't. Steve wouldn't let him. He sat in the hot tub for a good forty five minutes. At 10:30 Steve came over to Lance and told him it was time to get ready. Lance didn't say anything and they walked to the elevator bank in silence. They made their way to their room and got ready taking turns in the shower. They were ready at 11:00. The Limo was waiting as scheduled outside the lobby. The 45 minute journey to the church was silent except for the occasional small talk. The church was packed. Steve's mom had been a teacher for the past 25 years. Lance and Steve made there way to the front row and sat down. Aunt Patty was about to sit next to them when Kate gave her a dirty look and made her leave.

"Hey Stevie." Kate said.

"Thanks, I didn't feel like dealing with her today." Steve said.

"I know. That's why I made the bitch move." Kate said trying to make Steve smile. Lance just sat there looking into space. Kate was about to say something else when Lance spoke.

"I have to go to the bathroom." Was all Lance said as he made his way out of the pew. Once Kate and Steve were alone, she spoke again.

"So what is wrong?" Kate asked.

"I don't know." Steve said.

"Yes you do, you just don't want to say it." Kate said monotonously.

"No, that's just it, I don't know what is wrong, I should be so happy that I have Lance, but I am not, I miss mom. I love Lance, but I just don't deserve him. I just wish she was here so she could tell me what to do. God Kate, I don't get it, I should be happy I have him, not sad. Help me Kate." Steve sadly said.

"You don't want him to leave you like Aunt Kar did. So you will just push him away so you won't be the one that gets trashed again. You did something didn't you Stevie-poo?" Kate asked.

"He was about to kiss me and I stopped him. I told him I wanted to be alone." Steve said looking at his lap.

"Oh buddy, ya know you shouldn't do this to yourself. Just let yourself fall. It's ok, believe me, he will make you so happy." Kate said.

"Look, right now all I want to do is go home and go to bed. I am not gonna stay till tomorrow as planned. I have some stuff I have to do in Orlando before we go to Los Angeles. You're right though, he will make me happy. I want him so bad Kate, it's unbelievable. I feel kinda weird talkin about this at mom's funeral though." Steve said. He saw Lance coming back down the aisle.

"Look, just follow your heart, everything is gonna be ok." Kate said. Steve began to cry and Kate hugged him trying to make him feel better. Lance took his seat next to Steve. He did not know what to do. He just sat there and stared forward. A few minutes passed and the priest came out and started the service. It was a very emotional service. About 20 minutes into it Lance let his hand drop onto the pew between him and Steve. Steve took the hand in his own and squeezed it. The rest of the service went by well and at 1:15 it was over and it was everyone's turn to walk past the casket and say one last good bye. Steve, Kate and Lance were the last ones to go through. Steve's father was sitting with Aunt Patty. Finally it was just Steve, Kate and Lance in the church.

"I am gonna be in the car, I will leave you two alone." Kate said as she headed for the limo. Steve and Lance were still holding hands as they looked upon Steve's mom.

"Do you want me to leave?" Lance asked Steve quietly as he Squeezed his hand.

"I never want you to leave." Steve said as he began crying again. Lance quickly followed suit and they held each other for a few moments. They broke apart and Steve laid a kiss upon his mothers forehead. "I love you mom, thank you, I'll see ya later." Steve said this and tears fell from his eyes. Lance wrapped his arm around him and together they walked out to the limo. Kate was in it waiting and moved over so the Lance and Steve could be together. Lance held Steve as the procession went to the cemetery. At the cemetery everyone got our of their cars and gathered around the gravesite on a cold sunny December afternoon. The casket was placed over the grave.

"I can't believe this is happening." Steve said to Lance who held him closer. The priest said prayers over the grave and finished with "from dust you came and to dust you shall return." Steve cried more at the sound of the last words. Slowly the casket started to lower into the ground. A trumpet player started to play amazing grace. Kate was the one chosen to sing. After the first line Lance begin to sing with her.

Amazing grace! How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost, but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.

'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
And grace my fears relieved.
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come;
'Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far
And grace will lead me home.

The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures;
He will my shield and portion be,
As long as life endures.

Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
and mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.

When we've been there ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun,
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we've first begun.

After it was over they all departed their separate ways. By the time they made it back to the hotel it was 5:30. Their flight was at midnight. They sat in their hotel room for the duration and held each other. The got to the airport on time and made the trip home in silence. They arrived at the airport in Orlando shortly after 4 and made it home to Steve's by 5:30am on Tuesday. They went to Steve's bed and slept. They had a lot they had to talk about but decided it was best to get some rest. At noon they were awoken by the sound of Lance's cell phone ringing. Lance picked it up.

- "Yeah?" Lance groggily said.

- "Well Howdy, top of the morning to ya." Chris said.

- "Oh, it's you, ya know I was asleep."

- "I know, all the more fun. You need to sleep some decent hours."

- "Yeah well our flight got in at like 4. I need my sleep and we have another flight to catch tonight."

- "I know, that's what I was callin about, Josh said you needed to see us all. We are all at Joey's right now."

- "Yeah, I crashed at Steve's. I am already packed from this weekend so I am not gonna go home. He lives a lot closer to the airport so why don't you all leave early and come here?"

- "Alright, I will tell them. The flight leaves at 11:30 tonight. So how about we see ya at six?"

- "Sounds good to me. See ya at 6."

- "Alright, Adios." Chris said

- "Later" Lance said as he hung up the phone.

Steve looked at Lance for a second. He shook his head and shoved it back into the pillow.

`What?" Lance asked

"Nothin, nothin at all." Steve said into the pillow.

"No No No! It's something, what is it?" Lance asked Steve. Steve turned over and sat up.

"Well do you realize what you just did? Isn't that meeting so you can come out to them?" Steve reminded Lance.

"oh shit." Lance said as he realized he was in for a long day...

TBC...

Well there ya go...I hope you liked it. Expect the next chapter out sometime within the next week. I Thank everyone for reading this. HAVE A GREAT DAY!

E-MAIL ME!!!!!!!!!

John

Spifty214@aol.com