LONG ROAD HOME
© 2005-2007 Cameron
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Previously in Long Road Home:
"Justin I have no true reason to hold a gruge toward you, but I am very
hurt and deeply wounded by what you did today. I do love you and I now
know that you return those feelings, but if you ever and I mean ever do
anything like that again I am gone do you understand me?" Cameron
"Yes I understand and I'm so sorry I will never do that again if I get to that point I will just walk off until I cool down and we can talk it out, but please don't leave me I need you please stay!" I pleaded.
"I'm staying for now Justin I don't know if things will be like they were before but I'm willing to work on it." was Cameron's tear laced responce.
“Alright Justin I think we need to sit down and talk a lot of things out, but first I need to get Cody fed and taken care of.”
“I can do that for you Cameron. Before you came back I was working on supper so I will feed him and that way you and Justin can talk without interruption for an hour or so.” Lynn stated from the doorway.
I had to give it to her; the mothers intuition was really working well for her, and the fact that I liked her, and Cody was great around her, made my decision that much easier. I handed Code man over to Lynn and thanked her again and went back to the couch where my broken spirit of a man set.
“Justin I want you to tell me why you felt the need to hurt me? Why was it so important that you have the first, last, and only word in the argument that you started due to the fact I could not talk at all. I really want to understand this so start talking.” I told him with a dead eye gaze. What happened next took me by surprise, he broke, I mean really broke. I could see in his eyes what glimmer of hope he though he had left and he started crying with gut wrenching sobs. I wanted to let him cry and not feel sorry for him because of what had happened, but I just couldn’t; I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him to my chest and kissed his head and gently rubbed up and down his back while he tried to catch his breath and talk at the same time.
“Please. . . don’t. . . I can’t. . . never again.” he sobbed into my shoulder.
“Baby please calm down I’m right here and I don’t want to leave you. Not like this; so just calm down and talk to me. That’s all that I want you to do, ok?” I asked him while looking into his swollen eyes and drying his tears.
After about two minutes he started again; this time I could understand what was being said, and I never thought I would hear Justin Timberlake admit to what he was saying. He told me of his deep insecurities, doubts about his budding career, that he could be a good boyfriend, about how he never wanted to end up like his dad with a temper that would cause a gap in his future love life. He told me how he felt out of control of his own life and how he hated having other people tell him what to ware, how to act, who to be seen with, and so on. He also told me the one thing that I latched onto, and that was he felt the sting that he caused me when he slapped me. He felt it himself on his own face once the impact of his palm hit my cheek. That was something he could never take away, but would never allow to happen again; he loved and cared too much for what he was fighting to keep now to allow that again.
I have never cried this much in my life, but I have never felt that my life was going to end until today. When I realized what I had done when I hit Cameron I felt sick. That only got worse once I realized he was gone, and I had to wait to find him and try to make this wrong a right and if I would even get the chance to do that. What a relief to find him at home with mom at least I had some chance of correcting this. When he said we needed to talk I thought ok I can handle this but when he looked me in the eyes like he did I felt everything inside me close up and I lost it Justin Timberlake became a puddle and melted into his arms where I belonged but at the same time felt a stranger.
So I spilled my guts to him I told him everything; I left nothing out. I thought that maybe if I could tell him what was going on in my head that we could try to clean up this mess that I had started. I could tell Cameron was thinking about every word that I told him and that he was truly interested in finding out what was going on and trying to help me with it. Once I had finished talking and got myself to a somewhat composed level I could see a change in him, he was not the same hurt Cameron that I found on the couch earlier, he was like a phoenix. Somehow my truth had, so to speak, set him free and allowed him to let me back in a little bit. The embrace that we were still in also helped me to feel more secure about what was going to happen for us in the future as well. Just being in his arms seemed to melt away all the fears that I had, sort of like a blanket would help a child. He was my blanket, my rock, and my life I wanted to make sure of this and had some things to talk about with the guys and my family once we got settled down again.
I looked up into his now gentle eyes and could still see a red tinge to his face from my hand earlier that made me flinch again.
“Cameron I know this may sound strange, but can I kiss you? I mean I understand if I can’t and mmph.”
He kissed me on the lips a soft soul wrenching wonderful kiss. Not to hard and not to soft just a perfect kiss to make me understand that he had put things behind him for now and that we could work on moving forward.
I just had to kiss him to shut him up. I knew that if I did not he would just keep rambling on and on. I mean after hearing all that he told me and seeing his eyes have that spark start to show up again, a small glimmer then a full out explosion after our kiss, made me realize that as a couple we had faced our first of many hurtles in our future. Now if I could only get into his head and figure out what he was thinking when he looked up at me; because I could see it in his eyes he has something brewing, but its just not ready yet.
“How about you and me go take a soak in the hot tub and just relax, no funny business, just a nice relax from everything about today?” I questioned Justin. You would have thought I just handed him the world on a gold platter; the look on his face told me everything I needed to know.
“Ok you go put on your trunks and I will go put on mine and we can meet in the back yard in 10 minutes.” I told him as he started up the stairs and I started toward the kitchen.
When I got in the kitchen I could not believe what I was seeing Cody was being the perfect little boy and munching away on his graham crackers while Lynn continued to cook and keep an ever watchful eye on him.
“I think that you made a good decision honey. It’s not everyday that someone can bring Justin to tears the way you did. I don’t know if that’s a good thing to admit or not, but your doing a great job with him so far and I am glad that he brought you home with him. I know that you’re going to be good for him and Cody will make sure that you both stay on your toes. Now you go change into your trunks and relax, just remember I don’t want to have to come out there and hose the two of you down before dinner so keep it pg-13 ok?” Lynn giggled.
If my face could have gotten any hotter I would have had a sunburn; I have to get used to her bluntness. “Um yeah ok I will do that.” I stuttered back.
“Oh come on now don’t be like that I was just kidding with you, but really watch yourself while your outside its not that I have a problem with it but until Justin decides to let the world know, its something you will have to get used to. Now while you’re in the house woo hoo let it loose.” She stated with a swing of her hips.
On that note I left the house heading for my home as I called it to change into my trunks. When I made it back out and around to the hot tub the sight that met me was wonderful. Justin was bent over the tub turning on all the jets and the fabric of his trunks was grabbing all the right places on him and trying to keep this pg-13 was going to be like making a G-rated horror movie; almost impossible. When he heard me approach he turned around and gave me that award winning smile and held out his hand for me to take hold of.
As I took his hand he pulled me close and I could feel our shirtless chests touch and he placed a gentle kiss on my lips and helped me in the tub. As I sat down he made it very clear that his place was going to be between my legs with my arms around his waist and my chin on his head. That’s just the way he settled and I once again could feel myself falling for this wonderful man all over again.
Across town in another home. Brandon’s POV:
“Josh I have already told you it's ok; I know that a lot happened today so just shut up and kiss me.” I told my eager lover. To which I was not disappointed at all. He gave me the kind of kiss that makes a girls heel pop up in the movies; like it’s your first kiss.
“Wow umm wow Josh lets sit down I think I may be getting light headed that was umm wow.” I stuttered out while we sat down on the couch. Josh to his all knowing ways wrapped his arms around me and pulled me in to a bear hug cuddle if that’s something that could be described. I put my head on his shoulder and just felt at home again right where I belonged.
“So do you think that Justin and Cameron settled their problem?” I asked Josh quietly.
“I hope so they are really great for each other. Just wait till you meet everyone, but really I think you and Cameron may get along great. He’s from the southwest part of Virginia and you’re from northeast Tennessee so your almost like neighbors.” was his heartfelt reply.
Well all I could think of was us right now and what I wanted to do and have done to me by my great boyfriend Josh and I thought that I would have to start things off if I planed on making my list completed. So I began with turning myself around in his arms and started kissing him deeply and gently rubbing his growing bulge that was now pressing really close to my growing bulge as well. This is going to be a great night I just know it I’m in the arms of the man that I love and we are about to get all freaky and only I get to see and enjoy my Josh in this way. His most beautiful, untamed, loving way. Yeah life is good now.
In another home in town, Lance’s POV:
I just can’t believe that they knew about me and Eric. I mean here I was scared to death to tell them and they already knew and still loved me for it. I am the luckiest guy in the world right now. I have great parents, a great boyfriend, and a great group of friends. Which I hope that Justin and Cameron can settle this. Cameron is so great for Justin; he can keep him grounded in the crazy mess that is just starting for us. Now back to my boyfriend who I know is about to die after mom and dad played 20 questions on the way home in the car. I never knew he could turn that red without a sunburn. He kept his cool though even when they got real tough with him about what he was looking for and could he stand being in the shadows until the time was right for me to tell everyone about us. His answer really surprised us all, “I would give everything I have for him. All I can bring him is love and the hope that he can return the feelings for the rest of our lives; I am totally committed to him and hope that one day we can share that commitment in front of you and our friends. As a pledge that we are going to be there for each other no matter what. I’m not saying right now, but soon I would really like that.” Is what he said while looking at me with nothing but pure love and trust.
I had no idea his love ran that deep, but I could have drowned in it and would not have cared at that moment; because I knew he would save me.
He wants to marry me? Me, Lance Bass, the dork in high school, he wants to marry me! Ha ha in your face all of you that tried to keep me down. I got the best man in the world and he wants to be with me and only me for life. Yeah I could handle that. As I thought back about the ride home I heard the door to the bed room open and then close with a click of the lock. When I looked up the sight before me was almost too much. There was Eric in just a towel with water still trickling down his chest and slowly dipping under the waist of the terry cloth.
“Babe, um I did not know your mom would be up here, but she passed by as I was leaving the bathroom she told me that I had better keep you happy, and with a body like this that it should be no problem.” Eric told me while turning red from head to toe.
Yeah he could keep me happy with more than his body. His body was just an added extra that I would not pass up, but it was his heart that I fell in love with and would honor for the rest of my life. Now on the other hand I needed to talk to my mom about eying up my boyfriend. I mean, she has dad, which on the other hand I don’t even want to think about that. I slowly opened my arms and Eric walked into them like he was just waiting for me to give the invitation for him to accept. As I hugged him I could feel Jr. as we liked to call him start to wake up and was trying to come out from under the towel and play. The look in Eric’s eyes was that of a three year old with a new toy. Yeah this was going to be an interesting night, but one that I could not wait to start.
TO BE CONTINUED . . .
A Note from Cameron:
I need feedback to know if I should keep writing and if you have any ideas let me know I may use them. I love hearing from the readers you are what keeps me going! So let me know the good the bad or the ugly at firstname.lastname@example.org
Also check out my yahoo group http://groups.yahoo.com/group/longroadhome/ Hope to hear from you all soon. Thanks again go out to my editor and my fans next chapter should be posted really soon.