LONG ROAD HOME
© 2005-2007 Cameron
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Previously in Long Road Home:
“That’s a great idea just let me change and we can spend our first night in a real bed without anyone or anything to bother us.” Justin stated while stripping down to his boxers.
We both crawled into bed and it felt strange to have this much room again, and with someone to share it with. Justin took his usual place with his head on my shoulder and a leg straddled over my waist as if trying to make sure I would not leave him in the middle of the night. As I looked down at the man that had stole my heart his blue eyes bore into my soul and I could feel that everything would be ok we could make it through whatever was thrown at us. Little did I know that this statement would be tested time and time again, but I am getting ahead of myself back to Justin. His eyes met mine and I gently kissed his forhead and said “Goodnight sexy” while rapping my arms around his waist to allow us to settle into dream land together.
I was having the best dream Justin was on his back with me beside him on a beach with the ocean waves lapping at our feet. Then it hit me, I mean really hit me a thump, thump, thump that awoke me. Justin had decided that Cody needed to wake up his daddy today and he was doing a great job at it by thumping his hands on my chest. What happened next caught me by total surprise. Cody looked at me and said “Da”.
“Did he just say what I think he said,” Justin looked at me in awe.
“Yeah he just said Da he said Da he said it!” was my overjoyed reply. Cody you just said Da. He just looked at me like I had went nuts so I thought I would try him again. I pointed to myself and asked “Cody who am I?”
“DA!” came the shout from Cody.
“Ok ok who is this?” I asked pointing to Justin. It seemed his little mind was going ninety miles a minute trying to figure out what to say, or how to say it before the word “Paa” came out if you could call that a word. He did it he is really starting to talk I kept thinking when I looked over at Justin his eyes were starting to mist up.
"Baby whats wrong" I asked him?
“Nothing its just that I never would have imagined that I would have someone that loves me like you do, and a little guy like this that I can tell feels the same way about me.” He softly stated.
“Well I guess you will have to get used to it, because I don’t think that either one of us want to leave you were kind of like Velcro you mess with us you stuck with us.” I tried to lighten the mood. It seemed to work because the next thing I know were all a pile of giggles because Justin decided to help Cody finish his job of waking me up by tickling me.
"Ok, ok, ok, I give we can get up and go eat some breakfast!" I exclaimed.
I put Cody down and off he went crawling like he was in an Olympic contest, while Justin and I made the bed. Once the bed was back in order I picked up Cody and headed to the kitchen with Justin in tow. When I got there I thought "is there even any food in here?" I guess Justin read my mind on that one and told me
"Yes there is some food in here you go ahead and eat I'm going to run in and check on Mom and Dad maybe find me something else to ware, and see if JC is up yet which I doubt." Was his hurried reply as he went out the door.
I forreged in the cabinets like a bear in the woods looking for food while Cody sat there and looked at me like I was crazy. He kept humming to himself and every so often he would say da da da. Which when I heard that I would stop and have to kiss him on the forhead for being the cute little guy that has me wrapped around his pinky. After I fed Cody his ceral and I tried to eat mine while taking in everything that had happened to me in the last month I could not help but smile. Cleanup was a snap I actually could put the dishes in the dish washer and walk away this was going to be nice. So off the the bathroom for a Cody scrub down and a freshen up for myself. Clean, fed, and in new clothes we both headed to the main house. Sunlight really made this place seem that much bigger now I mean in the dusk it was still big, but this place was huge. I started to feel like I did not belong again, and tried to push that though to the back of my head as I knocked on the back door by the kitchen. Lynn opened itwith a look on her face that told me if I ever did that again I would be hurt.
"Good morning Lynn how are you doing?" I asked.
"I would be much better if you would act like you live here now and not like a salesman at my door." she joked back.
"What you don't need any Avon today then let me leave this big Cody book with you and you can call me later" I joked back as I handed Cody to her.
Yes I fed him and he has had his bath already so don't go all mommy mode on me I promise I did not feed him cake. I told her while she made kissy faces at him. Then much to her suprize Justin came in from the den and gave me a kiss on the cheek and Cody pointed to him and said "Pa pa pa pa!" while opening and closing his little fingers wanting Justin to hold him. So she handed him off to Justin and Cody calmed down and held onto his neck and played with his chain again.
"I did not know he was talking and whats with this papa sutff young man?" she qustioned Justin.
"Lynn he just started saying it this morning, and I don't mind him saying it around us, but if we go out in public with him I will have to keep a close watch on him so he does not say it when someone who could use that against Justin would be around. Besides I don't really know where he got the papa from he called me da so I thought he would do the same to Justin, but I guess I was wrong." was my amused reply.
"Mom I really don't think it's a problem yet I mean yeah if he said it in public we could over that up by saying he is just learning to talk, but later on down the road I would like to be able to have him call me papa and not have to worry about anything." Justin told her.
"If you mean that your thinking about telling the whole world your gay Justin Randall then you better think long and hard about yourself and the others in the group as well as Cameron and Cody, because that will affect them all" she told him in a motherly tone that said I knew this was going to happen.
About that time Justin's cell phone went off and he headed back into the den with Cody still happley playing with the chain around Justins neck.
"Lynn I am sure that he is thinking about all of that I don't want him to do that unless he has to and is ready I'm happy with staying in the shadows and being here for him when he needs me. I have never nor do I ever want to cause any harm to him or the group I love them all too much for that." I told her.
"Cameron I know you do hunny, but it's just something I had to say to him. Justin tends to think with his heart and not his brain at the same time. I don't want him doing anything he would regret later or be hurt by either so for now we wait and see how it goes when the tour starts back up after Christmas." she answered.
"Cameron it's Eric he said he needs your help on something for Lance I'll let you talk to him" Justin stated while handing me his cell phone.
The phone call with Eric was not what I expected he told me that he wanted to get Lance a very unusual gift for Christmas and he needed me to help him, because he felt that I would understand and not feel out of place by it. He wanted me to take pics of him with his digital camera so that he could make a book for Lance, so of course I told him yes I would and that while the guys were in the studio we could take them today and he could start on the book then. He was so greatful that I told him I would help that he said he would be there and we could talk more about it then. I ended the call and gave the phone back to Justin.
"He wants some help for on a gift for Lance and said that I could help him out a lot. So while you guys are in the studio today I will be helping him on the gift, but you cannot tell Lance at all its for Christmas." I said to both of them.
"You better get a move on then you have less than an hour to get to the studio plus JC is just now starting to move about I can hear him upstairs. I'll take care of Cody for you today Cameron don't worry about us we will be fine then next time you go in you can take him with you because your project with Eric will be done." Lynn informed me.
Who was I to argue with her on that one? So I left Cody with Lynn and went to the studio with Justin and JC which I should add is an experiance all on it's own I don't think I have ever laughed so much and feared for my life at the same time. Once we parked the car at the side door to the studio I could see the others were already here. Justin being in a good mood gave me a quick kiss once we were in the lobby and started down the many halls with me in tow to the recording booth. On our way down we passed Eric who stopped us and broke up our little caravan and took me with him down another hall to a dance rehersal room.
"Justin we will be in studio 2 working on my project for Lance remember it's top secret we should be done by the time you take your first break so you can come down and get us." Eric informed Justin and JC.
Once Eric led me down the twisting halls to studio 2 I had to stop him for a minute, you have to tell me what are you planning on doing. I asked him.
"Cameron I trust you because Justin trusts you I am going to make a picture book for Lance to take on the road with him of me and us just incase he needs to umm take care of some of his pent up agression." Eric stated while blushing.
"Oh wow man he should love that I know I would like to be able to have something like that if I was on the road, but what did you need me for? Oh no you don't mean oh yeah you do mean you want me to take the pictures of you right? I asked him sheepshly.
"Yeah I thought if you would do that with the digital camera here I could print them out and not have to worry about anyone getting them into their hands and end up in the wrong place you have to help me out, and who knows you may want to snap a few for yourself to give to Justin." he smoothly stated.
So I agreed to help him as long as he would never tell Justin unless I agreed to because I did not want him to think that I was out looking for trouble by taking pictures of someone elses boyfriend. As he started to undress I started snapping pictures and man was this going to be hard no pun intended but it did happen I mean Eric is really hot and I would never cheat on Justin, but damn Lance should really thank Eric for this gift when he gets it on Christmas. We snapped pictures for what seamed like hours until Eric thought he had enough then he talked me into taking a few for Justin. Eric was in his shorts and no shirt taking pictues of me slowly undressing and giving the camera the come hether and fuck my brains out look. Which I thought would work pretty good because I was only going to take a about 20 pictures for Justin to have as a warm up for his Christmas night gifts. Little did we know that the boys had finished and was about to open the door when I was showing my happy trail to the camera th door opened and a loud gasp then a rush of air with a hand coming across my face that took me to the floor. I grabbed my face with a tear in my eye I looked up into the seething face of Justin.
"How dare you do this to me how dare you take advantage of me and Lance like this and how dare you do this to Lance!" Justin screamed as he pointed to us.
"Justin calm down there has to be an explanation to all of this I don't see anything really out of place that either one of them was doing it looks like they were taking pictures of each other is all." Lance slowly stated while walking over to Eric.
"No don't you see thats what they wanted us to think this this ungreatful person that I thought cared for me is nothing more than a whore!" Justin seethed back to Lance.
"Wait a minute don't talk to him like that you have no idea what was going on in here at all." Eric retaliated.
"Why don't we all set down and discuss this as adults and see what was going on." Lance the voice of reason for the group stated again.
We all stood there looking at each other and Eric was the first to speak he told the story of making the call to me and what we were doing with the pictures and that they were for a gift for our boyfriends and that we took them for each other so that they did not get into the wrong hands. Little did they know I had slowly made my way out the door while they were screaming at each other still holding my cheek and crying now. I made my way back the best that I could remember and ran into Lonnie in the lobby of the building. "Lonnie thank God your here please take me back to Lynn's now and don't ask any questions. Justin told you that whatever I wanted you were to do so I am telling you take me back now!" I sobbed out to the giant of a man.
He slowly put his hand around my shoulders and gave me a gentle nod of his head to let me know that he would follow what I had asked of him. The ride back was very uneasy I had never been talked to like that before nor had anyone ever hit me with such anger in their words as well as there hand. I thought back on our good times and what me and Justin had started that was now over in my mind. I saw the way he looked at me with pure disgust in his eyes like I was street trash that needed to be taken out. Well I was going to take care of that for him I would go back pack up what little bit of belongings me and Cody have and catch a bus back to Virginia and out of his life forever. The whole time I sat in the seat Lonnie never once said anything to me but I could tell his ever watching eye was looking at me with care and concern for what was happening and what had me so torn up and why was Justin not with me. When we pulled in to the driveway I told Lonnie I was sorry for yealling at him and that I hoped h would not hold that agenst me. I was just having a really bad day and had to get away from there. He told me that he understood and if I ever needed him that he was there for me. He also said he had to head back and pick up the guys for a photo shoot that had been scheduled while they were in practice. Thats great I thought just what I needed to keep Justin away long enough for me to make my escape.
I made my way into the house and Lynn found me a total mess tear strecks and runny nose heading into the den.
"Oh Cameron your here I'm so glad that you are I just got a call from Justin he was frantic and crying and all I could get out was huge mistake and that you were nowhere to be found and if you came home to keep you here until he could get back." she informed me.
"Lynn as much as I appreachiate you telling me that I can't stay here not after what happened." I then preceded to tell her the whole story not leaving out anything. By the time I had finished I was sobbing again on her shoulder and Cody had found his way into the den with a tug on my pants leg and a loud "Daaa" from him I picked him up and just held him like my lifeline. I then sat down with Cody on my lap and told her what I was going to do and that I could not stay with someone that would accuse me and hit me then precede to throw insults at me. She said she understood, but then tried to make me understand why he was like that and told me about Justin's father and the temper that he got from him and that when he was mad he tended to see things with blinders on. She convenced me to stay until at least Justin could appoligize to me and then if I still wanted to leave that she would make sure I got home safe and that it would help both of us to have that clouser to our arguement which was needed.
Justin's POV, 35 minutes prior:
"How can you set there like nothing is bothering you Lance? We just walked in on your boyfriend and mine both undressing and doing God knows what!" I bitterly asked.
"Justin they were doing nothing wrong if you would have listened and not blown up you would already know that, and besides I overheard Eric talking to Cameron on the phone so I kind of figured out what he was planning on before we got here." Lance smoothly stated.
"Wait a minute you mean to tell me that you knew about this and did not say anything to me?" Eric questioned?
"I knew that you were doing something for me and that you would be using the digital camera you were reading the book on it for like two days and then you called Cameron and I heard you ask him to help you with something and that it was for me. So I put two and two together and took a guess." Lance smugly stated.
Ok so now what I am here in the room I over reacted again, and the guys and Cameron diserve a big sorry from me. Oh God I hit him I mean I really hit Cameron! I am soo stupid for doing this why was I cursed with the over react gene from my dad? Time to fess up and try to make everything alright again. I turned around to where Cameron was standing and he was gone! I looked all over the room and he was not there. Oh no he's ran out of here!
"Oh Cameron we have to find Cameron I"m soo sorry you all and Eric I'm really sorry that I would ever say that about you please forgive me!" I pleaded with tears rolling down my face.
"It's ok Justin I should have told you what we were up too you did not have any idea, but I really think we need to find Cameron he was really upset." Eric responded.
"Guys lets look over the studio he problly did not make it far, Chris you and Joey take the east wing, Josh go the the front lobby and check for him there, Lance and Eric you to take the hallways and bathrooms, I'm heading to the back and check with the guard there." I ordered and pleaded at the same time.
Everyone shot out of the room with lightening speed and spread out looking for my broken spirted man. Please let him be ok and forgive me I kept praying. As I made it to the guard desk at the back door Lonnie came in saw me and gave me a look I had only seen from him once in Germany when we had went out parting without him knowing and man his wrath was bad.
Justin's POV present:
"Justin you and me in the booth now!" Lonnie barked at me.
I turned around with my head down and went I would not argue with him I knew what he was capiable of. Once in the booth the conversation took a turn that I would have never thought.
"Justin I don't know what you did or said but I am so close to ripping you to shreads right now. I just came back from your house after dropping off Cameron he was a mess crying, really quiet, and a big red mark on the side of his face. Care to fill me in on what in the HELL is going on?" Lonnie threw at me.
"Oh Lonnie please tell me he is ok." I broke down then and fell to his chest sobbing and tried to tell him what was going on thank goodness the guys came back by the booth and could see us in there and came in to fill in the gaps for poor shirt soked Lonnie. I mean if he was in a wet t-shirt contest he would have one I was crying so bad. The guys told him the whole story leaving nothing out to which he never flinched. He then grabbed me by the shoulders looked in the eyes and said
"Boy you know better than to do that how many times have we talked about this? I will save my speach for now, because you have a very hurt man at your house and I think he may be thinking about leaving. You need to call home and tell him whats going on and not to leave before you can get back. You all have a shoot to do that was scheduled while you were in rehearsal so you will have to wait until then to see him, but mark my words if you don't fix this I will!" Lonnie told me then smiled at me with a big hug that he is known for.
I took out my cell phone dialed the house and mom picked up I tried to ask for Cameron, but could not get it out I think I told her what was going on or at least as much as I could say before I broke down again I have sooo blown this I just pray that he does not leave me I will die if he does. Mom said that she will tell Cameron and try her best to get him to stay that was a huge weight off my shoulder. I told the guys that we have to hurry the shoot and I have to get back home fast and try to mend my broken bridge and I hope my still boyfriend. We left headed for the shoot in a very awkard silence the car ride was the most painfull thing I had endured in my life. Knowing that I had hurt the man I love and for what? My pig headedness and pride. Well I was sure that was never going to happen again I was making changes to myself and for the better when I got home. To say the photo shoot went well would be a lie. It was all I could do to put on a smile and pretend like nothing was going on. Glad I wasnot up for an Oscar I would have been the janitor cleaning up the stage if that was the case. I made it though and with the guys help we got the photos that they wanted and were off to our homes. On the somber car ride back Lonnie let Josh know that Brandon had called and wanted to know what was going on he was at the studio and they told him that we had all left. So he informed him to meet at my house because Josh would probelly be staying for a little bit before he went home. Thats just great another thing I messed up Josh was supposed to let Brandon meet everyone today and I blew that up also. I think Josh could tell by the look on my face when Lonnie told him the news. The next thing I knew Josh was hugging me and telling me that it was ok we were all brothers and would stay together, but that if I ever jumped to conclusions like that again he would beat my ass, and that I had to go home and take care of my man. I kept getting more and more nervous the closer to home we got. The last thing that remember was the guys and Lonnie all wishing me luck and to call them tomorrow and let them know what was going on. Josh got out and excused himself to the back stating he would hang out in the game room behind the garage until he was given the all clear. I thanked him and with a hug he was off and I was infront of the door ready to face the firing squad or my mother as I would hope she would be. I really needed my mom not a lecture I had already done enough of that to myself on the way over here.
I opened the door and just as I closed it I heard her "Justin in the den NOW!" Oh great this is not what I needed. I complied with her request and went to the den took a seat without meeting her icy gaze.
"Justin please tell me why in the hell did you think it was ok to hit Cameron? Why did you not even let him say a word to you? Why did you have to go and ruin something that obviously made you the happiest I had seen you in years?" she fired one right after another.
"I just I don't Oh mom what am I going to do? I lost him I know I did. I don't know why I did that I don't know why I hit him. It makes me sick to think what that must have been for him. I know that he was just helping Eric and that they were not doing anything out of the ordinary. I knew that before I said a word to him, but I got this defencive thought in my mind that he was just using me and that Lance was just going to let Eric get away with it without doing anything and I was not about to let that happen to me. I am so sorry for what I have done I know that I can never take it back, but I just wish that I had the chance to tell Cameron that I was sorry for it." I sobbed out. By the time I had finished mom was holding me in her arms on the couch trying to get me to quiten down little did I know that Cameron had heard the whole confession because he was standing in the doorway into the kitchen and could see and hear everything that was going on. Once I had quitened down somewhat I heard a soft"pa pa pa pa" comming from behind me I turned around and I saw the most beatiful thing in the world to me at the moment. There was Cameron holding Cody and he had a tear on his face to go along with the big red mark on his cheek. I tried to say I was sorry to him but I ended up sputtering and babbling though my tears to which he came to me put Cody on the couch and the both of them gave me a hug.
"Justin I have no true reason to hold a gruge toward you, but I am very hurt and deeply wounded by what you did today. I do love you and I now know that you return those feelings, but if you ever and I mean ever do anything like that again I am gone do you understand me?" Cameron questioned.
"Yes I understand and I'm so sorry I will never do that again if I get to that point I will just walk off until I cool down and we can talk it out, but please don't leave me I need you please stay!" I pleaded.
"I'm staying for now Justin I don't know if things will be like they were before but I'm willing to work on it." was Cameron's tear laced responce.
TO BE CONTINUED . . .
DUN DUN DAHHHH!
<Insert evil laugh>
Wow drama in this one, and who is this Brandon guy? And whats going on with the picture book? Check out my yahoo group I will have posted pics there that gave me some ideas for that part of the story, and who knows maybe a pic of what I think Brandon would look like.
I know it's been way to long for a update but life has gotten the best of me. A new job, crashed computer, stupid internet service, you get the idea. Now that I have all of that settled I hope you still enjoy the story. I need feedback to know if I should keep writing and if you have any ideas let me know I may use them. I love hearing from the readers you are what keeps me going! So let me know the good the bad or the ugly at email@example.com
Also check out my yahoo group http://groups.yahoo.com/group/longroadhome/ Hope to hear from you all soon. Thanks again go out to my editor and my fans next chapter should be posted really soon.