I'm lost, I'm lost without you baby, The days aren't the same the nights are cold and gray, I need you in my life, If not now then someday... --- Vanessa Williams

Lost Without You
Chapter 23
by JT Poole and Nicole Brown

Early Saturday -- Traveling to Louisville, KY -- BSB Tour Bus

Brian's POV

I don't know what's going on around here, but the tension is so thick around in here that you could actually cut it with a knife.  I don't know what happened on Diamonds'' bus, but JT just climbed up the stairs of our bus and the look on his face tells me that he's not a happy camper.  I walked over to him and sat them next to him, but that only caused him to get up and move away from me.  Looking at him strangely, I got up and he held up his hand.  Not wanting to push things, I sat back down just as the driver got on the bus along with one of the security guys.  Getting a little bit worried now, I looked back at JT and then over to the security guy.  What happened on Diamonds' bus?

Still wondering what was going on, JT walked back up to the front of the bus and he and the security guy exchanged some words in private that I couldn't hear.  Sighing, I sat down and JT sat down across from me.  Looking up at me, he sighed and turned away from me just as the driver picked up the tour itinerary.  Starting up the bus, we started moving and the driver announced that we were heading on to the next stop.

Getting up from my spot, I looked at JT again and then walked to the back of the bus.  Looking into Kevin's, Howie's, Nick's and then Alex's bunks,

Howie and Kevin were there, but Nick and Alex were missing.  What the hell was going on, we're leaving them behind.  Walking back up to the front of the bus to stop the driver, I looked down at JT and noticed that he was full out crying now.  Stopping in front of him, he wouldn't make any kind of eye contact with me.

"Baby we need to stop the bus. Nick and Alex aren't on here," I tell him as he looked up quickly and then back away.

"Alex went on to the next stop with Trey," he says, looking out the window.

"What about Nick?"  I ask him as he glared at me.

"I don't know where the rat bastard is and he best pray to the Mighty One Above that I don't find his narra ass," he says as my eyes widened.  "Fucking woman violating bastard."

"Baby is there something wrong?  Did Nick do something else?"  I ask, wondering where this hostility was coming from and why JT was mumbling under his breath.

"How is Chad?  Is he sleeping peacefully?"  He asks, looking out the window again.

"Yeah baby he's fine.  Are you?"  I ask him as I noticed some more tears sliding down his face.

"I'm fine," he says, still not looking at me.

"Baby you're not fine," I tell him, sitting down next to him and wrapping my arms around him.  "Baby what happened?"

What did I miss when he and Josh walked down to Diamonds' bus?  Whatever happened on that bus holds the key to what's going on.  I just wish he would tell me what's going on and let me help him.  Whatever it is, it has something to do with Nick since his hostility is focused on him right now.

"I'm fine Brian, don't worry about what happened," he says, wiping at his eyes.  "It will be taken care of as soon as possible."

"What will be taken care of as soon as possible?"  I ask him, still wondering what happened.  "Come on baby, talk to me here.  What happened that has you so upset right now?"

"I can't tell you that right now Brian," he says as he looked away from me.

"Why can't you tell me JT?" I ask him, getting a little bit pissed off now.  We're engaged now, I don't feel he should be keeping secrets from me.  Keeping secrets isn't good.

"Because it's not my business to tell Brian," he says, sniffling as he wiped at his eyes again.  "When the time comes for you to know what happened, you'll find out then.  Don't ask me again."

"Baby," I say as he held up his hand to me.  "Fine then."

Getting up from the seat, I walked back towards the kitchen area to get a bottled water.  Right now whatever happened is hurting him and he won't let me help him.  That's pissing me off in the worst way.  Where the hell is Nick and how does he fit into all of this?

On Diamonds' Tour Bus

Kess' POV

This has got to be one of the longest nights in history.  It's almost four in the fucking morning and we're all still up.  I can't believe all the shit that's happened here within a twelve hour period.  First Justin and Lance get beat downs for starting shit with JT and Brian, then we come back here to find out that Nick has raped Nikki and to top it all of, Josh keeps pushing and pushing about Lance and JT and JT comes back on the bus and puts the smack down on his ass.  I told him to drop the subject, but he kept going on and on about how Lance was innocent and that JT was just being a jerk because of how Lance left him.  If Josh knew all the crap that Lance pulled with JT, he'd know to keep his mouth closed around JT.  Some people never learn.

After we got Nikki to sleep, Tayla, Danielle and I did everything we could to straighten up the bedroom, but regardless of all the straightening we did, it was like we could actually see and hear what that bastard actually did to her.  The scent of him in the room was so rotten that none of us could stand it and we decided to just leave the bedroom alone and sleep in other places on the bus.  Needing our rest, we're all spread out around the bus lying around in different places.  I'm on the couch behind the driver seat, Danielle and Tayla are in the lounge with Nikki, keeping watch over her and Josh is across from me trying to nurse his swollen face.  Maybe next time he'll keep his mouth closed when I tell him to shut up and mind his business.

"I did tell you to drop it, but you chose not to listen to me," I say, laughing as he shot me the bird.  "Whatever man, you brought that smack down on yourself."

"I did no such thing," he says, moving the ice pack to look at me.  "I was defending my friend's reputation."

"When you don't know all the information pertaining to a certain situation, maybe you shouldn't try to defend your friend," I say as he stuck out his tongue.  "Next time you'll know not to cross JT any kind of way.  You lucky he didn't have his gun. He would've capped yo azz and asked questions later."

"What?  Capped me and asked questions later?"  He asks as I nodded my head at him.

"Normally JT doesn't fight with anyone.  When JT physically hits a person it's a rare sight.  His motto is he's not going to waste his energy fighting a person, he shoot them and ask questions about it later," I tell him as his eyes went wide.  "Well it's the truth.  He shoots first and asks questions later.  Just ask...hold on.  Hello?"

"Kess when we stop again, I need to talk to you," Kevin says as I rolled my eyes.

"Talk about what man?"  I ask, remembering how he reacted to me beating Kristin's ass.

"We need to talk about us.  It's like you've been really distant," he says as I roll my eyes again.

"I have a right to be fucking distant.  Your wife walked in on us while we were fucking and then she had the audacity to talk shit.  When I kicked her ass, you took her side.  So Kevin, I have a right to be distant."

"I wasn't trying to take any sides, I was only trying to stop the both of you from fighting," he says as Josh was sitting there watching me, his mouth wide open, open wide enough to catch flies and shit.

"When she came into the club and started talking shit after the fact, you shouldn't have stopped me.  That bitch knew what she was doing.  You, just like her knew she was going to get a beat down.  If it hadn't been for all the other stuff going on, she'd be eating and drinking from a damn straw.  Next time that bitch try me like that, I'll be sure to beat her ass like I was a slave and she was my master and I was making up for a thousand years of oppression," I tell him as Josh busted up laughing as I had to cover the mouthpiece of my phone.  "Could you please be quiet?"

"That was just fucked up funny," Josh says as I got up and walked down the aisle.

"As I was saying," I start, but the phone was dead.  "Oh no this muthafucka didn't hang up on me.  Oh he just wait until I see him again, I'm going to beat his ass too."

Daybreak -- Back in Memphis, TN -- The Sizemore Hotel

Nick's POV

I don't know what I'm going to do and I definitely don't know how to fix any of this.  I don't think there's anything that I can actually do to ever fix any of this with her.  I fucked up and royally.  What the hell's wrong with me?  I don't care how mad I got with her, I had no fucking right to do to her, what I did.  How could I claim to love her and then turn right around and rape her? I don't know how I'm going to explain all of this to Tommy, my family, the guys, or the fucking label.  When all of them find out what I did, they'll look at me differently.  This mess is going to ruin my life and it's all because I couldn't control my anger in reference to JC Fucking Chasez.

It's a little bit after day break now and I've calmed myself down a bit.  If I could only block her whimpers, screams and the way she looked at me from my mind, I could somehow try to figure out a way to fix all of this.  Tommy called me a few minutes ago and said that he was on his way here from the airport.  He told me to just stay here and wait for him and try to remain calm.  Regardless of what's actually going on, he's going to do what he can to help me through all of this.  I don't know what he expects to get accomplished to help me outta this, but regardless, my life is ruined.  I've lost the woman I fell in love with and wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

Dad always said I was a fuck up and I'm proving him right.  I can actually hear him laughing at me about how he always knew I would cause the downfall to my own career and maybe the guys' careers too.  He was always against me singing, he might just get what he wants when the world finds out what I've done to my sweet Nikki.

"What am I going to do about all of this stuff?  My fucking life is going to be ruined.  What else is there that I can do?  I enjoy singing and dancing.  If this gets out, I'll never get the chance to enjoy that and I might even go to fucking jail," I say as there's a knock at the door.

Is that Tommy already?  If so, he got here quicker than I thought he would.  I wasn't expecting him for a few more minutes.  Opening the door, he stood there watching me as I looked back at him and broke down again.  Falling into his arms, he wrapped me up and kissed me on the forehead as he helped me back into the room and closed the door.

"It's going to be alright Nicky, I'm here to take care of you," he says as he helped me back over to the bed and we sat down.  "How did all of this happen?"

"It's like this..." I start off telling him everything about how the whole situation started, even about how she and JC were acting around each other.

After about an hour of talking and him comforting me, my cell phone rang and I got scared.  Looking at the caller ID, I saw that it was Johnny.  Looking at Tommy and then down at the phone, he took it from me and answered it.

"Nicky's phone, May I help you?"  Tommy spoke into my phone.  "This is Tommy Lee, who are you?"

"What is he saying?"  I ask as he held a finger to my lips, as he smiled at me.

"He's not feeling well right now Johnny," he says, winking at me.  "I don't think it requires hospital time, but he's just not feeling well right now.  I don't know, that could be the reason he's not in Louisville."

"What?  What is he asking you?"  I ask as Tommy lays his hand on my leg and squeezes lightly.

"Well I'll be sure that he makes it to Louisville in the next couple of hours," he says, smiling at me as he motions for me to move closer to him.  "That's right sir, I have a plane here with me.  I'll have him there in a little while. Yes...yes...okay...I'll have him do that.  Goodbye now."

Saturday Morning -- Diamond's Tour Bus -- Traveling to Louisville


It's been almost an hour since I relieved Tayla and Danielle, and Nikki is still out like a light. She looks so peaceful lying there sleeping like a baby. She's even smiling right now, like she's seeing something in her dreams that's making her happy, and it makes my heart skip a beat every time I see that shadow of a smile on her face. She is so beautiful, even when she's dreaming. Even after all these years she still has the ability to mesmerize me when she's asleep.

I feel so fucking guilty about what happened to her. I feel like what Nick did to her, he should have been doing to me. Nikki said that the reason he attacked her is because he saw us behind the House of Blues®, so what that bastard did to her is really my fault. I just hope that she still loves me enough to forgive me for what he did to her. God, if I'd only stayed with her back when I first met her, none of this would be happening. She never would have married that bastard Jason, and God knows Nick Carter never would have laid a hand on her.

When I reached out and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear and she instinctively relaxed against my hand, I felt all the love I have for her overwhelming me. She is everything I ever wanted, every dream I ever had, and I've always been too much of a coward to tell her. I have spent every moment of the last five years regretting the day I let her walk out of my life, and I intend to do everything in my power to make things up to her.

"J-Josh?" she whispered, opening her eyes slowly and looking over at me. She sat up, looking around in confusion. "What time is it? Where are we?"

"It's a little after 8 in the morning," I replied, sitting next to her and touching her hand. I was pleasantly surprised when she gripped it and moved closer to me. I slipped an arm over her shoulder, squeezing gently when she relaxed against me and sighed. "And the sign we passed said we're almost in someplace called Owensboro—how are you feeling?"

"I'm okay I guess," she replied through a yawn. "I could use something to eat though. Whatever that doctor shot me up with last night is making me queasy."

"I'll be right back," I stated, going into the kitchen area and grabbing the other half of the sandwich I'd eaten earlier. I brought it back to Nikki along with a can of soda; sitting beside her while she took tiny bites so she wouldn't throw it back up again. "Nikki, can I talk to you about something? I'll understand if you don't really want to..."

"What is it you want to talk about Josh?" she asked suspiciously, eyeing me like she was afraid of what I might say. "If it's about Nick, you can spare me. I have enough regrets about him to last me a lifetime."

"Nikki, this isn't about Nick—it's about you and me," I stated, watching her face as it clouded over briefly before settling into its usual smiling lines. I took her hand in mine again, facing her in the tiny space that was their living room. "Nicole, I've been sitting here for the last few hours watching you sleep... and I wanted to say I'm sorry for not being there for you. I wish I'd been more of a man back when we were together before—then maybe none of this... craziness would have happened to you."

Nikki had been so silent during this that I was worried that she might have fallen asleep again while I wasn't watching, but when I looked into her eyes the anger I saw there made me cringe. She snatched her hands out of mine and sat looking at me with all the love a scientist might have shown a bug under a microscope.

"Are you done?" she asked in a voice totally devoid of any emotion as she stood up and went over to the window, staring out blindly as the miles whizzed by. "Why are you telling me this now? I mean, is that little speech supposed to make me feel better Josh? Is that supposed to make me forget what happened to me last night?"

"What? Nikki that's... no!" I shouted shocked at what she was saying. I walked over to where she stood with her back to me, staring out the window. I turned her to face me, cupping her face tenderly. "I just wanted you to know how much I—I wish I could go back and make things right for you!"

"Oh please! You could give less than a fuck about making things "right" for me Joshua Chasez!" she snapped, rolling her eyes and making quotation marks with her fingers. "You only care about yourself and getting rid of the guilt you feel because of what Nick did to me! If you really cared about me, you would have told me how you felt about me back then... but you never did! You let me marry Jason even though you knew how much I loved you! Why couldn't you just say you loved me Josh? I never would have married Jason if you'd just said you cared about me even a little bit... but you still can't say it, can you? Tell me you love me Josh, just say it one time."

"Nicole, I-I do care about you—no, you listen to me now!" I commanded when she tried to pull away from me. "You said that I never told you how much I loved you? What about all the times I held you in my arms and we made love all night long? What about all the hopes and dreams we shared? How many nights did we sit up until the wee hours of the morning whispering our hopes and fears? Nikki, do you realize I was the only person in the room the day you auditioned for Diamonds besides Kess who knew you sang like an angel. Nikki, I wrote `Dear Goodbye' and `Give in to Me' for you! How can you say you never knew? Everything I've done during my career I did so you would be proud of me. I wanted your approval even more than my parents, or anybody else's. You were what mattered most."

This was it. This was my last chance to tell her once and for all just how much I loved her or she would be lost to me forever. I forced her chin up, meeting her eyes and hoping with all my heart that she could see just how much I cared. "You know how I feel about you Nikki—deep in your heart I know you know, but if you need to hear the words, alright. I love you Nicole. I have loved you for so long that if tomorrow never came, I could die fulfilled because I loved someone with all my heart and soul! I love you so much that if I could, I would give up my music if you asked me to."

"Oh Josh—I love you so much!" she cried, kissing me through her tears. I held her close to me, all the fear I'd held on to over the years dissipating as the kiss went on. I heard someone coming into the room, but my mind was on the woman in my arms.

"What's going on in—oh, excuse us!" Tayla said, smiling and giving us the thumbs up as she and her girlfriend backed out of the room.

We broke apart laughing as we sat down on the couch again. Nikki cuddled against me again and we began talking about all the changes in our lives. She was still hurting from what Nick had done, but that was nothing compared to the hell that her soon to be ex-husband had inflicted on her. We decided between us that we would take things as slowly as necessary until she was completely healed, which will also help us to get to know each other again. We were stealing kisses when someone clearing their throat interrupted us.

"May we help you?" Nikki asked; snickering at the look Kessa was giving us.


"I just wanted to say it's about damned time!" Kess said, grinning lasciviously at us while Nikki and I laughed. "Seriously, I am happy you two finally got your heads out of your asses and realized you belong together. Just be good to each other and be happy, okay?"

"We will be," I stated, smiling at the woman I loved, and for once, I was completely content.

Saturday Morning -- Traveling to Louisville, KY -- BSB Tour Bus


Uhhh, what time is it?  Are we at the next stop already since we aren't moving or what?  Mmmm, what is that smell?  I don't know what it is, but it smell delicious.  Sitting up where I was, I looked around to see that I had fallen asleep on the couch instead of going back to the bunk this morning.  Oh yeah, my back is going to pain me the rest of the day for sleeping here like this.  Next time, I'll know to get my ass up and go get in the bunk where it's a little bit more comfortable than sleeping with my back against metal springs and my legs thrown across the back of the couch.

I got up and stretched my body out, looking towards the book to see that Chad, Brian and Howie were up and they were eating food.  Walking towards them, Brian got up from his spot at the table and walked over to me.  Wrapping his arms around me and kissing me on the cheek, he looked at me closely and I smiled weakly at him.

"Baby is everything okay?"  He asks me, his hand resting right above my ass.

"No, but don't worry about it.  Where are we?"  I ask, leaning over to peak out the window.

"We're almost to the next stop.  We're in a town called Owensboro," he tells me as Chad looks up from his food and smiles at me.

"We're not too far from Lexington daddy," he says, smiling at me and Brian.

"How would you know that?"  I ask him, walking closer to him as he blushed a little bit.

"I just know daddy," he says as I got a glimpse at the grim look on Howie's face.

"Howie are you okay?"  I ask as Howie looked up at me and then back down at the table.  "Howie?"

"I'm fine," he says, getting up and walking back to his bunk and crawling back under the covers.

"Is it something I said or did?"  I ask, looking at Brian as he sat back down next to Chad.

"I don't think so baby.  Why don't you sit down and get something to eat.  I got us all something from Mickey D's.  I hope you're in the mood for a McDonald's Big Breakfast™ and a large coffee," he says, taking the platter out of the bag and handing it to me.   "Oh yeah, it's still warm too baby."

"Thank you," I say as I sat down on the other side of Chad.

"Welcome baby.  I'm going to check on D," he says, leaning over Chad to kiss me on the mouth and then he got up and walked towards the back.

Brian's POV

Well I'm glad he looks better than what he did earlier this morning.  He looked so hurt and upset at the time, that I wanted to just hold him and never let him go.  I just hope the way he was acting last night had nothing to do with Lance and Justin's crap again.  From all the stuff Nikki and Kess told me about JT's relationship with Lance, he doesn't need to put up with that kind of crap any longer.  They lucky I don't get up in they asses again for the shit they put him through over the years.  My man don't need that kind of stress in his life any more.  Now that he's with me, I'm going to do everything I can to make his life enjoyable.  He doesn't have to worry about all the heartache and pain Lance inflicted on him.  I just wish he'd talk to me and tell me what's going on around here.  I know something's going down, but he and no one else for that matter will tell me.  Now that I know Nick is missing, I'm starting to get a little bit worried.  What happened on that damn bus with the girls of Diamonds' last night?

Walking down the tight corridor towards the bunks, I stop in front of Howie's and kneel down.  Rubbing his back, I could hear him crying softly.  What the hell is going on with all of my friends?  First we leave Nick behind back in Memphis, then I find out that Alex is hanging around with Trey and now there's something wrong with Howie.  Are me and Kevin the only sane ones around here?

"D, man what's wrong?  Why are you crying bro?"  I ask him, pushing the curtain back and sliding into the bunk with him.  "Talk to me."

"Brian I don't want to talk right now," he says sniffling," just leave me alone.  Go back up there to your husband to be."

"Come on D, talk to me.  I can tell that you're hurting.  Talk to me please. What's going on that has you so upset?"  I ask him as he looked up at me and then looked over at the picture of Joey that was above us.

"He doesn't love me Brian," he says, still looking at the picture.  "All I am to him is a person that he can use when he wants to.  Why can't I have the same kind of love with some body, like you and JT have?"

"Joey loves you, he just shows it in a different way is all," I tell him as he shook his head and started crying more.

"If he loved me, he wouldn't use me like I was a damn punching bag.  Love isn't supposed to fucking hurt Brian," he says, as I just stared at him, not knowing what to do or say to him.

"What!" I screamed out, probably disturbing Kevin who was still in his bunk asleep.  "What do you mean use you like a fucking punching bag?"

"Brian, be quiet.  Don't worry about it now.  It's all said and done with," he says, turning away from me as I touched his arm, but he flinched and pulled away from me.  "It's too late for you to act like you care and are actually worried about me.  If you cared, you would have known something was going on."

"I do care about you D, you know I do.  I'm sorry I didn't know what was going on...I'm sorry," I say to him, not really knowing what else I could say as he shook his head at me and just laid back down.

"Just leave me alone here.  Kevin and Alex stopped him from hurting me already.  I don't need you now.  Just go back to your damn boyfriend like you always do," he says, pushing me away from him as I took the hint and get out of his bunk, sad that he was talking to me that way.


This is going to be a long day and it's not even noon yet.  I can already tell that Chad is bored out of his mind.  The boy has been singing and starring off at the ceiling since I sat down to eat my breakfast.  It looks to be a lovely Saturday morning, but it's not going to stay that way.  When last night's drama catches up to us, this day is going to hell just like last night did.

Look at my little boy. I'm so glad that we found each other.  Before he came along, I was too carefree and I didn't care much about what really went on in my life, but now that he's here with me, I've gained a new outlook on life itself.  It's a lovely Saturday and I can't bear the thought of him being cooped up on this tour bus all day long.  When we get to the next venue, I'm going to find some place for the two of us to hang out and have some fun.  He's a kid; he shouldn't be cooped up on a freaking tour bus all day, doing nothing.  If I was him, I'd probably be bored out of my mind right now, probably the reason for his singing. 

Twenty minutes have gone by and the boy is still humming and singing this annoying tune.  It's getting on my nerves now that he's singing it over and over again while starring at the ceiling.  When I looked over at him a few moments ago, he stopped singing, but as soon as the mood hit him again, he was back to singing that same tune.  Calgon take me away.  I don't think I'm going to be able to put up with a rowdy ten year old and what's going on with the adults.  Something's got to give and it'll probably be my mind.  I wish this boy would shut up, but being here with nothing to do, I guess humming and singing is all he can think about.  I don't really know if he's really bored or just trying to annoy me.  Regardless of why he's doing it, it's annoying and it's working my last nerve.  This could be his way of annoying me or it could be this is how he gets when he hasn't taken his medication.  Let's get his medication and get it in him.  Maybe that will calm his mind down enough that I can concentrate and try to figure out how to deal with the situation between Nikki and Nick.

Speaking of situations, what's going on back there with Brian and Howie.  Since I came on this tour with these guys, Howie has been a little bit quiet and pulled into himself.  The guy only perks up when they guys have to perform, do some kind of work or something group related.  Once his commitments to the group have been taken care of, then he goes back into his shell and gets quiet again.  I hope Brian can find out what's going on with him.  Brian told me that he and Howie were once close like he and Nick were, but when Howie started dating Joey Fatone, their friendship changed.

"Daddy is there something wrong?"  Chad asks me as he took a sip of his orange juice.

"I don't think so son, but around here, one can never tell," I say to him as I see Brian walking towards us now.  "Have you had enough to eat?"

"Yeah, I'm kinda full," he says as Brian sits down beside him again.

"What did I miss?"  Brian asks, looking at Chad and then to me.

"Nothing that I know of handsome," I tell him as he smiles at me.

Since hanging around with these guys, I've noticed some crazy and strange things.  I sometimes wonder if these guys are wrapped tight when they do crazy and outrageous things.  If I didn't know any better, I'd say they were all on drugs or something, but that's not the case.

"Daddy, when are we supposed to go home?"  Chad asks me as I look over at Brian and down back down at the rest of my meal.

"I don't know Chad.  We'll probably head home tomorrow afternoon," I tell him, looking up to see the frown on Brian's face.

"Oh," he says, looking down now too.

"How long have we've been here?"  I ask, looking over to Brian as he looked to the front of the bus.

"Almost half an hour," he says as the second bus driver got on the bus and started the bus.  "We should be getting ready to go now.  We've been here for the required break time baby."

"Good, I think we need to be getting ready to get back on the road," I say the driver pulled out into traffic and we were on our way.

Los Angeles, CA -- Nate's Hotel Room

Nate's POV

All of this stuff around here is really getting to me now.  Come on, it's Saturday and we're still here taping for this damn part of the show.  When are we going to be done with all of this madness and go back home?  We've been here all week and since the writers want us to do another full set, we're going to be here the rest of the weekend and probably next one too.  This is bogus and I'm not about to sit here and take it.  I should be back in New York enjoying myself or better yet, I could be in Orlando with JT and his son, chilling out for a cool minute.  I'd rather be doing anything than to be here with people I don't like.  I can actually admit to having a good time hanging out with John-Paul, but Timothy, Kathy and Melissa are starting to get on my nerves.  I guess you really can't work with everybody.  Since David Fucking Fumero got here, I've been having to take up the slack because Melissa doesn't want to be anywhere on the set near him, talking about on the air, off the air romances and hatred.  If I didn't know any better, I'd say Melissa has a thing for David off the show as well, but she's just too scared to say anything about it.

It's not even noon yet and I'm about to die of boredom.   If I don't do something good and productive with my time, I might go insane.  Picking up the movie guide from the night table, I browse through it in hopes of finding something good on television to watch.  So far everything looks boring, I sigh when I hear my cell phone start ringing.  Running into the bedroom and jumping on the bed to find it, I reach under the pillow to answer it.

"Hello?"  I say into the phone, not recognizing the number on the caller ID display.

"Nate, what's up handsome," I hear on the phone, recognizing Kessa's voice.

"Kessa, is that you?  Is there something wrong?"  I ask her, sitting up on the bed now, wondering why she would be calling me.

"Somewhat yeah, but not really," she says as I look at the phone funny.

"Kessa have you been drinking?"  I ask her, not knowing what it was she was saying.

"No I haven't been drinking Nate.  Look, me and the girls are headed to Louisville Kentucky.  JT is still with the Backstreet guys, but hold on before you say anything.  A lot of stuff is happening right now and I don't think JT can handle it all.  Is there a way you can get to Louisville like today?"  She asks as I try to make sense of what she's saying.

"Kessa what's really going on?"  I ask her as I could hear her sigh.

"Nate, there's some heavy shit that's about to fall and right now with Lance Bass and Justin Timberlake around causing problems for JT, he's not gong to be able to keep it together for long.  I'm asking you as a friend of his to come and help him.  You are still his friend aren't you?"  She asks as I was about to say something but she interrupted me.  "I know you and JT had your ups and downs, but he still sees you as a friend Nate, regardless of how you treated me.  He needs a friend right now and Brian isn't going to be able to help him deal with the memories that have been pulled to the surface."

"Ah, what memories Kessa?"  I ask her, wondering what she was talking about.

"Nate, don't worry about that right now.  He needs a friend.  Are you able to come out to Louisville or not?"  She asks as I grab for my jacket.

"I'll be on the next plane over.  Just have someone available to come pick me up.  I'll call and make the arrangements," I tell her, wondering what could be wrong with JT, but with Lance and Justin around, I could only imagine.

Finishing up the conversation with Kessa, she went into more detail about what was actually going on with them on that damn tour.  How in the hell are they expecting to hold things together on that tour when there is more drama than needed.  Cursing Lance Bass, Justin Timberlake and Nick Carter's names, I got up and started packing my things while I was talking to an airline representative.  My flight was booked and it would leave in an hour.  That's all set and I should arrive in Louisville before nine.  I just hope I get there in time before JT is too shaken up to deal with any thing.

Memphis, TN -- a Diner near Nick's Hotel

Jason's POV

I've been tracking that bitch and her friends for the last couple of days.  I haven't got close to them yet, but I'm on their trail.  It seems that something must be going on in the ranks of the Backstreet Boys for them to leave one of their own behind the way they did.  What's going on with Nick Carter that he'd have to run away from his friends and get a room in the Sizemore Hotel?  It must have something to do with that gay bastard, Brian Littrell.  Whenever gay people around, there always seems to be trouble.

"Hey man, just do what I told you to do and then, call me when it's done.  The other hotel told me that they were on their way to Lexington Kentucky, so that's where she'll be," I say, speaking on the phone with one of my friends.  "Yeah and once she arrives, I want you to take that bitch somewhere and hold her until I get there.  Don't let that ho out of your sight.  She's shifty and if you turn your back for one second, she'll be gone.  Good, do what you have to, to keep her locked up until I can get to her and take care of her.  When this is all over, you'll be a very rich man."


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I don't know any of the members of «N SYNC, Backstreet Boys or any other celebrities mentioned.  I don't know anything about their sexual orientation or the orientation of any other celebrities in this story (even though I wish some of them were gay).  This story is fiction and you shouldn't take it for anything else but that.  This is for entertainment value only folks.