I'm lost, I'm lost without you baby, The days aren't the same the nights are cold and gray, I need you in my life, If not now then someday... --- Vanessa Williams

Lost Without You
Chapter 25, Part C
by JT Poole and Nicole Brown

Tommy's POV

I must've fallen asleep or something.  Where the fuck is Nick?  I thought he would've been back by now.  It's almost daybreak out and he's not even back here yet.  From the looks of my cell, he hasn't called and left a message either.  I'm starting to get a little worried.  I knew he was upset with me when he left, but I didn't think he would be that upset that he wouldn't come back.  I can't believe he's not back yet.

Is he upset with me still?  Is he mad about all the stuff I said about that bitch?  If that's the case, he's going to be even angrier with me when he finds out that I got in touch with Jason Cavanaugh her husband and told him where we were and what that bitch has been up to.  When her husband found out about all the shit that was going on around here he couldn't speak.  To say the least, the stuff he told me about her didn't compare to the stuff she was doing now.  That man didn't know the half of it.

The Backstreet Boys have a show tonight and I told Jason where it was going to put on.  He told me he had a plan to catch up to his wife and take her back home.  I told him that if that's what he wants to do, I'd pay him to do it and help out if necessary.  Right now I'll do anything to get that bitch away from Nick.  I know he went to go talk to that bitch, but I didn't think he was going to be staying the whole night with her.  What kind of bitch is she?   If he actually raped her like he said he did, she wouldn't let his ass anywhere near her.  What the hell is going on with this picture?  Something's not right.  I'm still not believing he raped her.  I think this is some crazy ploy thought up by her to get him into trouble.

"Come on Nicky where are you?  I haven't heard from you in a while.  I'm starting to worry about you baby," I say out loud, walking into the bathroom to take a piss.

Where is he?  I hope that bitch's husband hasn't arrived yet and caught them together and did something to my Nicky.  I agreed to help him get that bitch away from him, but I'll be damned if I let him hurt my Nicky.

Jason's POV

This is turning out to be one of the best morning's I've had in a long time.  I'm just seconds away from confronting that slut of a wife of mine.  I'm going to make this simple and easy for the bitch.  She can come with me now and avoid a whole lot of unwanted stress and drama or I can make things hot for her and her friends.  It'll be in her best interests to come back to Cali with me and let us get past all of this shit we're going through.  I've been thinking this moment over and over in my mind and I know just how to pull it off.  I can just grab her, kiss her and push her into the room and tell her what it is she needs to do.  We'll get her shit and be back in Cali before the end of the day.

I'm now standing outside her door and I can already hear voices coming from inside the room.  From the sound of things she's talking or singing to someone and it sounds very much like she's a fucking cat. I don't even know why that bitch is even trying to sing, she's worthless.  Pounding on the door, I wait for her to let me in.  What's taking her so long to get her fat ass to the door?  I'm going to beat her ass for making me wait.  I'm her damn husband, I'm not supposed to wait for her, she's supposed to serve me.  Finally the door opens and she turns around and her eyes connect with mine.

"Well it's about fucking time bitch," I say, pushing her back and kicking the door as she tried to close it on me.  "You can't close me out bitch."

"What the hell do you want Jason?"  She asks, me stepping back away from me as I closed the door and walked further into the room.

"You know what the hell I want Nicole.  You know why the fuck I'm here!"  I scream out at her, grabbing her arm.

"I don't Jason, let me go!"  She screamed out as I raised my hand ready to smack some sense into her.  "No Jason, don't hit me!"

"You need to be more than hit!  I've been all over the fucking world looking for you it seems!  I've called your momma, I've called your sister and no one knows where you were or they didn't want to fucking tell me," I tell her, shaking her now.

"Stop Jason, please," she whines as I pushed her backwards.  "No!"

"You don't raise your voice at me bitch!  I'm your husband and you're supposed to fucking respect me!"  I scream at her as she slapped me.

"Bitch, have you lost your fucking mind?"  I asked her, smacking her back as she grabbed the side of her face and slid down a bit on the wall.  "You don't raise your hand to me."

"Jason, stop it please!"  She screams at me, still holding the side of her face.

"You don't fucking tell me what to do bitch!"  I scream at her as I grabbed her by her hair and pulled her up from the spot on the floor, pinning her up by her neck.  "I've wasted a whole lot of time and money looking for you and now it's time for us to go back home."

"I-I'm-not-going-anywhere-with-you-Jason," she says, trying to speak and breathe at the same time.

"Oh you're going bitch.  You can go dead or alive, you pick bitch!"  I shout at her as a door opened up behind us and a tall and stocky white guy ran out towards me.

"Leave her alone!"  The man screamed, pushing me as I pulled my gun out and pointed it at his chest.

"You don't want to die over a bitch like her," I say as he looked up at me and then down at the gun.  "Don't ruin your life for her man.  Is it worth it?"

Before I could do or say anything else to the guy he had moved down low and then jumped up into the air, confusing me a bit and then landing on top of me, knocking me away from Nicole and allowing her to get away.  With her screaming and running out the door I punched him for knocking me down and then he punched me right back.  We were both rolling around on the floor and my gun with sliding across the floor.  We broke apart and he started smiling at me.  Kneeing him in the groin and pushing him up against the wall, I scrambled over to get my gun while he held his crotch and groaned.  Standing in front of him know with my gun pointing at his forehead, he looked up at me and then smiled.  This man must be crazy.  A man in his position shouldn't be smiling.  Turning my attention to where he was looking, I saw Nicole standing in the doorway as two big black guys jumped me and knocked me to the ground.  Struggling with the guys, one of them punched me in the face while the other one tried to take my gun.  Pushing the first one off of me that had punched me, I grabbed for my badge and held it in his face as he backed off.

"Man he's a cop," the guy says as the other one got my gun away from me.

"I don't care if he's a cop or not. He's bothering Miss Cavanaugh and she doesn't want him here," the second guy says as I looked around to see that Nicole had gone over to the white stocky guy and knelt down besides him.

"Bitch you're still my wife!  You can't be doing that shit!"  I screamed out as the hotel security staff guys ran into the room.

"Could you please get him outta here?"  Nicole screamed as I elbowed the first black guy in the stomach and kicked the other subduing both of them and getting back over to her.

"You're my wife and you're coming back with me bitch.  Remember your vows bitch!"  I scream at her as the guy wrapped his arms around her, trying to get in between the two of us.

"Jason, please just go.  I don't want you here.  I...I don't love you anymore.  We don't have a marriage," she says, looking at me now.

"We're still married by law and by religion bitch," I tell her as she frowned.  "I asked you pretty boy was she worth it?  I guess in your eyes she is.  This isn't over by a longshot.  I will get what I want and if I have to, I'll make you disappear."

"What do you mean by that?"  The guy asks, looking at me with fear in his eyes.

"You'll see," I tell him as the two black guys got up and with the help of the hotel staff, got me away from Nicole and that guy.  "This isn't over bitch!  I will have you!  You're my wife and no one elses!"

"You're out of here buddy," one of the hotel guys says as they drug me out of the room and down the hall.

Those bastards held me tight and wouldn't let me go.  I don't know what Nicole told them but the farther we got in the hotel, the more guys joined the show.  When we got downstairs to the lobby there were eight guys around me.  While one of them held the parking garage door open, the other seven pushed me outside and watched from the door as I walked through the parking garage over to where my rental car was parked.  Making a note of the faces of the guys that helped her, they'll all pay for what they've done today.

Nicole's POV

After security had dragged Jason away, I bolted every single lock, positive that Jason would come back and carry through on his threat to drag me back to California alive or dead, killing Nick in the process. Just the thought of him hurting Nick any more than he already had made me feel queasy, but I shook that off as I went back into my bedroom, shivering as I pulled the covers up to my neck and tried to get some more sleep, but Jason's hate filled voice made that all but impossible.

"Are you okay?" Nick asked softly, startling me. I tried to smile at him, but my mind was on Jason's threats to hurt him.

"I'm okay I guess," I replied, turning back to the window and staring unseeing. Nick's arms came around me, pulling me close and resting his head against mine. "He's going to hurt you if he can, so I want you to promise me that you'll stay close to the guys and your security. I just know he's gonna end up killing you and I can't deal with that right now.

"He's gone now," Nick stated firmly, kissing me tenderly. "And I'll do what you said, but he won't be back anytime soon if he knows what's good for him either."

"Nick, he's a cop," I said emphatically, turning to face him now. "He knows how to kill people and make it look like an accident if he sets his mind to it. I can't risk him hurting you or the guys... he's right you know... I'm not worth it."

"You're worth it to me," he said, kissing me softly. I sighed, laying my head on his shoulder and holding him tight. "Why don't we go lie back down for awhile?"

"Okay," I replied, not really sure of how I was feeling, but I knew I still needed sleep. I allowed myself to be held close to him, but my mind was going about a million miles per minute, so I wasn't hopeful of getting any more sleep, but the soft sound of Nick's heartbeat lulled me and soon I was fast asleep.

I jerked awake again about an hour later when I heard someone banging on my door like they were losing their minds. I was almost ready to say fuck it and cuddle back into Nick, but I knew whoever it was would just keep pounding until I opened it, so I untangled myself from Nick, kissed him softly and padded to the door, still half asleep as I opened the door without checking to see who it was.

"Nikki, are you okay?" Kessa asked as she and Tayla came into my room. I ushered them in, closing and double bolting the door behind them. I sat on the sofa beside Tayla, grabbing a pillow and holding it between them and me. "I saw security dragging Jason's psychotic ass out of here... did he hurt you?"

"No he didn't," I replied, shifting so that Kess could sit beside me. "But it wasn't because he didn't try to. He had me up against the wall choking the hell out of me, but Nick came out of the bedroom and held him down while I went for security."

"Well at least he's good for something besides hurting you," Kess said cattily, not missing the foul scowl I was directing her way. "Anyway Nikki... since leaving here is not really an option, what say we order breakfast and decide what song we're gonna perform tonight?"

"I guess we could," I said uneasily, glancing at the door to the room where Nick lay sleeping quietly. "I'm not really that hungry, but you guys order whatever you want. I'm going to go take a shower... I need to get Jason off of me."

"Okay girl... we're not going anywhere so take your time," Tayla said as she picked up the phone. I could hear her ordering half the menu, so I just shook my head and went about my business.

I went into my bedroom, grabbing the robe the hotel left for me and heading into the bathroom. I examined the newest addition to the bruises that I was sporting like a badge of dishonor. The ugly purple handprints around my neck were already beginning to fade, but the make-up woman would still be pissed about having even more work to do to make me presentable for that night's performance.

I'm not even gonna begin to worry about that right now, I thought as I scrubbed my skin in an attempt to wash away Jason's maliciousness. Damn I really want to go home... I miss Louisiana... maybe I'll go back for a visit when all this tour nonsense is over.

I came back out into the bedroom, sitting beside Nick on the bed and smiling at his extreme case of bed head. I smoothed it down as best I could, and kissing him gently. I was about to stand up, but arms shot out and the next thing I knew, I was lying across Nick's chest, staring into his amazingly blue eyes and remembering our days on the ocean when we'd first started dating.

"Kess and the girls are here, so you might want to stay in here until I can get rid of them," I said softly, nuzzling his cheek. "I'll try to make this as brief as possible... but just be warned: Kess is still pissy."

He mumbled something that might have been an agreement to staying in the room, but I knew he was probably only about one-third of the way awake. I went back into the bathroom, plugging in my travel dryer and setting to work on taming the mane. By the time I was done drying my hair and dressing, the food had arrived and Kess had already dug into the small mountain of food Tay had ordered. Danielle had come from Tayla's room to eat with us, smiling in her calming way when she saw me.

"I heard you had some more excitement here this morning," she said from her perch on Tayla's knee. She fed Tay a slice of strawberry, kissing her and licking away the juice on her chin. "Are you alright, sweetie? Do you need anything?"

"I'm fine Dani—and thank you for asking," I replied, my calm demeanor at total odds with the total panic I felt whenever I heard Jason's name. "My so called husband showed up and tried to drag me back to California, but Nick stepped in before he could really do too much damage."

"You know Nikki you certainly know how to keep a girl on her toes," Danielle said with a grin.

"Thanks Danielle," I retorted sarcastically, sitting beside Kess and pilfering a piece of toast from her plate to calm my heaving stomach. "So what song are we gonna do tonight? We only have a few hours to get the choreography together, so we have to decide soon."

"I know the perfect song," Tayla stated, grabbing the remote control and tuning to one of the various channels the hotel offered. She pushed a bunch of numbers and the scene changed quickly to one of a young woman sitting in a seductively lit room striking a pose. "This is called `Dip It Low' and her name is Christina Milian. I think it would be perfect for us because she has the same kinda vibe as the PCD's."

"Not to mention some sexy ass dance moves," Danielle interjected with a lecherous grin. I rolled my eyes and settled in to watch the video.

About two minutes into the video, Kessa stood up suddenly and made a mad dash for the bathroom. I could hear her retching, which served to increase my own queasiness. In spite of my nausea, I was convinced that this was the kind of hoochtified song that Diamonds was becoming notorious for performing. One glance at Tayla and Danielle and I knew we had Diamonds' show stopper for tonight.

"Okay so we got the song... now we need to practice the moves and get the look right," I stated, glancing between Tay and Danielle. "But first I need to take a nap. I'm not feeling so great, and if what I heard in there is any indication, neither is Kessa. What say we reconvene this in about 2 hours?"

"That's perfect," Kessa said as she exited the bathroom. She walked to the door, smiling back at us for a hot second. "See ya'll hookers in a few hours."

"I wonder what's up with that," Tayla mused as she and Danielle made their way to the door. "Nikki, I'll see you at sound check. Make sure you lock this door behind us."

"Later chica," I said closing and double-bolting the door behind them. Glancing around, I decided that I need to at least try to clean up our mess, so I grabbed the cart and cleared the breakfast dishes, stacking them on the cart with the now cold remnants of breakfast and pushed the cart to the door to be taken out when we leave. I surveyed the room one last time, making sure to straighten up as much of Jason's mess as I can.

I was getting sleepier, so I decided to leave the rest of the mess for housekeeping. I went back into the bedroom where Nick lay still sleeping, looking all rumpled and adorable. I shed the hotel provided robe, climbing back under the still warm sheets and curling into Nick's back, kissing his shoulder lightly.

"Everybody gone?" he asked, smiling at me over his shoulder. At my nod, he turned toward me, spooning into my side and nuzzling my neck. "I missed you... glad you're back with me now."

"Me too," I said, quickly dropping off to sleep, comforted and protected by the man I loved more than I should, but who loved me as much as I deserved.

Cameron's POV

It's almost ten in the fucking morning and I'm pissed.  I've had a long night and it'll probably be an even longer day.  So far this day isn't going well and if I don't get a grip now, I'm not going to be any use to Justin and his needs.  Hell, he's probably upset and wondering where I am right now.  I just hope he's not too mad.  It's not my fault that we were delayed passing through Pennsylvania.  Because of some stupid cop's drug deals and threats against his wife, the police grounded our plane because they thought he was on it.  We weren't allowed to leave until Internal Affairs had talked to or checked everyone out on the plane.  Talk about fucking drama, it's too early for it and I don't want it and I sure as hell don't need any right now.

Walking away from the baggage claim, I spotted someone who looked much like Lonnie and Bruce.  Waving my arms at the two men, they saw me and came walking over to where I was.  Frowning a bit, I was a little bit upset that Justin wasn't with them like I thought he would be.

"Good morning gentlemen," I say in a solemn voice.

"Good morning Cam," I hear from behind me as I turned around to see Justin standing there with a big grin on his face.  "Did you miss me?"

"Yes I missed you Justin.  You're my best friend," I tell him as I hugged him and he looked around quickly.  I guess he was checking to make sure no one saw that.  That's Justin, still looking out for the paparazzi.

"You got everything?"  He asked me as I nodded at him.  "Cool, let's get the hell out of here."

"Fine by me," I said as Lonnie grabbed my bags and carried them for me as we walked out to the car that was waiting for us.

Jason's POV

I'm closer to my prize now that I've come to Louisville.  When Mister Myers told me about where his friends had really gone and I got that strange call from Tommy Lee of all people, that was a sign that things were finally looking better in my favor.  Some of the things he told me about what Nicole had been doing and who she was doing it with was a total shock to me.  Clearly the bitch is acting like she's single when we're still married.  The guy I saw with her this morning I guess is the guy she's been shacking up with.  Calling Tommy Lee back and telling him a small part of my plan to get my wife back, he agreed to help me and that just near made my day for me.  With the help of Tommy Lee and Quentin Myers, my plans may just get carried out like I want them to.

I don't know why that bitch is even with those fuckers, she has no fucking talent.  Besides being able to put some strings together as some clothes, she can't do a fucking useful thing.  I gave her the only options she will ever get out of me.  I told her she would come back to me dead or alive and with her having those fuckers at the hotel throw me out, she chose death.  Since I know she's going to be singing here tonight with that guy she was with, I can take care of two birds with one stone.

JT's POV

It's getting late in the day and my original plans to leave here have gone down the drain.  To say the least, Brian and Chad are happy that we're both still here.  When I told Brian what had happened he was happy and smiling from ear-to-ear.  If I didn't know any better, I'd say he had something to do with us still being here.  I could've sworn I programmed a reminder into my Palm Pilot to remind me to call the airport and order new tickets for myself and Chad, but for the life of me when I checked my Palm Pilot there was no reminder set.  I'm slipping I guess.  With all the stuff that has been going on for the last few days, I could've forgotten.

The guys are going through sound check right now and since Brian don't want us to go, he decided that he was going to spend as much time with Chad and Baylee so he took both of them down there and left me up here in the stands.  I know he doesn't want me to go, but we're going to have to leave sometime.  I have to get back into Jive to handle some things with the girls and I have to get Chad enrolled into school and get him back on his medicine schedule.  Hell right now, I think I might need to go back on my own meds.  If the police would've taken me in and booked me, that probably would've rang some bells for a few people I don't need knocking on my door.

Oh well, I'm trying not to dwell on our problems right now, but pretty soon all this crap is going to catch up to me and the rest of us.  We can't keep pushing this stuff away forever.  Before we all know it this concert will be full blown and everyone will be in everyone's faces causing problems.  I think we've already gotten a small taste of what's to come and I don't need that kind of stress in my life and I don't want Chad involved in too much more of this.  With our flight already leaving, that means I'll just call the airport later on tonight and get our tickets.  Since the concert will be over really late, I'm sure we won't be able to get a good flight back to Orlando, so I'll be sure to schedule things for sometime tomorrow.  I just hope we don't experience anymore problems.  I don't know how much more of this stuff I can take.

"Daddy, Daddy!"  I turn to see Chad running towards me.

"Son what's wrong?"  I ask, standing up quickly.  "Is there something wrong?"

"No daddy, nothing's wrong," he says as "whew" and sit back down.

"What can I do for you little man?"  I ask him as he climbed into my lap and hugged me.

"I just wanted to see what you were doing and I'm a little hungry," he says as I heard his tummy grumbling.

"Oh no, I best hurry up and get you something fast before that swallows us up," I say, teasing him as he frowns and looks down.  "I'm only teasing son.  Then again no I'm not.  That's your stomach and if it's anything like mine, then it's dangerous."

"Funny daddy," he says, scowling at me.

"Oh stop it," I say, getting up and holding him in my arms.  "You're already a big boy.  You take after your grandmas."

"Take after my grandmas?"  He asks, looking at me funny.

"Yeah you do.  My mother was overweight and so was your mom's mother," I tell him as his expression changes.

"Are you calling me overweight daddy?"  He asks as I shook my head.  "I'm not overweight.  I'm just tall for my age."

"I know you're tall son, but that's not the point.  Like me, you carry that fat gene that will one day try to consume you.  You're tall now but it's still weight.  When I was your age I was little short thing that was already wearing size twenty pants.  As I got older, I started dropping the weight as long as I continued to exercise and workout," I explain to him as he tilted his head like he was thinking about something.

"So you're saying I can eat all I want and work out and not get fat?"  He asks as I shook my head at him.  "I'm gonna get fat.  I'm going to be bigger than the house."

"No you're not son, but at the rate you're eating you'll get there soon if you don't slow down and be careful about what you eat," I say as he starts to frown at me.  "Don't look at me like that.  I'm telling you something to help you out here.  I don't automatically look like this you know.  I have to do a whole lot of working out to keep my body looking like good," I tell him as he just looks at me, his face expressionless.

"Well I guess I can do some exercising," he says, hopping down out of my arms and taking my hand as he pulled me towards the entrance.

"Yeah son, exercising helps," I tell him as we're walking down the hall and something out of the ordinary caught my attention.

Something's not right around here.  Coming to a stop and holding Chad's hand tight.  I turned around as one of the crew members passed.  Staring at the crew member's back, I could've sworn he looked like someone I know.  Shaking the strange feeling off, I picked Chad back up into my arms and continued walking down the stairs hurriedly.  Something's not right and I can't shake this bad vibe I'm feeling.  Am I cracking up?  I could've sworn that guy looked like Jason, Nikki's husband.   That couldn't be him.  I'm just seeing things is all?  Too much stuff is going on and I just need to get some rest.

"Daddy what's wrong?"  Chad asks as we stopped at the bottom of the stairs and I turned around, acting a little bit like I was being followed or something.

"N-nothing's wrong Chad.  Aren't you hungry?"  I ask him as he nods.  "Well let's get you something to eat."

"Okay daddy," he says as I turned around again to check to see if anyone was behind us.

Ordering a whole lot of junk food for the two of us, I paid the cashier and grabbed our stuff.  Heading over to where the tables were, I looked around the area and then headed for the table closest to the exit doors.  Sitting down and passing some stuff over to Chad, I did my best to calm down and then pulled out my cell phone and dialed Nik-Nik's number.  Getting her voicemail, my nervousness came back full force and I switched into scared JT mode.  Scanning the room back and forth, I slowly drank my soda and chomped on my chips.  Doing my best not to show Chad that I was scared, I pulled him a little bit closer to me and turned us around as we ate our junk food.

"Daddy you okay?"  Chad asks me as I didn't know how to answer him.

"Daddy's fine," I say as I felt hands on my back and I turned around quickly, grabbing the person and pushing them up against the wall as I noticed it was Kessa.

"Nigga have you lost yo mind?"  She asks me as she holds her chest breathing heard, looking like she was ready to smack me.

"I'm sorry Kessa, I thought you were some...somebody else," I say as she looked at me funny.

"Yeah right JT," she says, glaring at me.  "Who could I possibly be to make you throw me up against a wall like this?"

"I thought you were Jason," I whisper to her and then stepping back.  "But that's silly of me.  Jason's not here.  I think I'm just seeing things."

"Ah...well...J you're not seeing things," she says, looking at me.  "Jason's back."

"He's what?!?"  I screamed out, scaring her a bit and causing other people around us to turn and look at us.

"J, please calm down," she says, holding her hands up at me.  "Just please calm down."

"I'm not about to calm down Kessa!"  I screamed out as Chad looked up at me and stepped back too.

"Daddy?"  Chad spoke up, snapping me out of my angerfied mood.

"I'm sorry son," I say, looking down at him and then nervously back up at Kessa.  "What is Jason doing here Kessa?"

"He came to get Nikki," she says, grabbing me by the arm and pulling me away from where Chad was standing.  "He tried to kill her this morning.  He told her that she had to go back with him or die."

"He did what!?!"  I scream out again as she covered my mouth and raised her hand, looking back at Chad and then back at me.  "Don't make me smack you JT, you're scaring your son."

"Don't worry about him, I'm scared enough for the both of us," I tell her as she looked at me funny.  "Well I am."

"JT snap out of it.  If he's here that means he's trying to get to her again," she says, shaking my shoulders.  "Nikki doesn't need anymore drama in her life right now.  With all the crap going on with Nick and all, she doesn't need this on her mind too.  I'm just shocked that Nick was able to do something good for a change."

"Do something good?  What has the fucker done good?"  I asked her, glaring at her now.

"If it wasn't for Nick, Jason would've killed Nikki this morning," she says as I stepped back away from her.

"Nick was with Nikki this morning?"  I ask as she nods her head.

"If it wasn't for him, Jason would've hurt her, possibly killed her," she says as I shook my head.  "I don't like him, but I'm glad he was around to stop Jason JT."

"I can't take it, I need to get out of here.  Chad!"  I scream out, calling for my son.

"JT, where are you going?"  Kessa asks as Chad walks over to me.

"I'm going to take him to stay with security for a while," I say as he looks up at me scared and then he looks at Kessa.

TO BE CONTINUED...

My Contact Information

Nicole's Information

I don't know any of the members of «N SYNC, Backstreet Boys or any other celebrities mentioned.  I don't know anything about their sexual orientation or the orientation of any other celebrities in this story (even though I wish some of them were gay).  This story is fiction and you shouldn't take it for anything else but that.  This is for entertainment value only folks.