Date: Thu, 15 May 2003 07:59:58 -0400 From: rye encoke Subject: Mark-and-Rye-14 Okay the usual stuff that nobody reads. This is a gay story with lots of gay sex. If you aren't supposed to be here, leave. The work is mine and unless you ask you can't post it anywhere else. I have no clue if any member of Westlife is gay, so this is all my fantasy. Email me at rye_encoke@hotmail.com to tell me what you like or hate. The author wishes to acknowledge and thank the archivist for Nifty for allowing this story to be published here. Authors Notes: Congratulations to all the winners in Boyband Awards. I understand some changes are going to be made to the way voting is done and categories. I really encourage all readers and writers to participate in these awards. It's nice to be recognized. Okay I got another email asking me about all the crying and basically complaining about it. The guys do cry a lot, but not over silly stuff like burnt toast or their favourite program was cancelled. They are dealing with discovering their own sexuality and finding love and some life altering truths. So if you don't like that my story has them always breaking down then definitely stop reading right now. Cuz it happens a lot over the next few chapters and I don't plan on stopping it. I like that they cry a lot, as do many of my other readers. If you want to read a story where every chapter someone is breaking up, or getting shot at, or being stalked, then go somewhere else. These guys love each other, they aren't going to break up, nobody dies and nobody cheats. There's my rant. DEDICATION: To my boy David, love ya lots. - Nicky - The alarm woke Rye and Mark. They lay looking into each other's eyes for a long time, just basking in their love. "Love you fella." "Love you my angel." Eventually they heard a soft knock on their door. "Come in," Rye called. The door opened and Nicky stuck his head in. "Morning guys, I ummm....I just wanted to say hi....nobody else is up yet.....ummmm...well I guess I will see ya downstairs...." Nicky's voice trailed off. Mark smiled, "Nicky love, would you like to come in and snuggle with us until we get up." Nicky's face went red, but he nodded and came in, dressed only in his boxers. "I'm sorry guys, I was just feeling kinda lonely," Nicky said as he slipped in beside Mark. "Don't apologize love, you are always welcome in here with us." Rye gently pulled Nicky across Mark so that he was laying in between the two of them instead of on the edge next to Mark. Both Rye and Mark placed their arms across Nicky and held him, Rye stroking his hair and Mark rubbing his hand across Nicky's chest. "My heart tells me I am welcome, but it's my head that refuses to believe sometimes that this is all real. You guys gonna wake up or go back to sleep?" Nicky asked. "Let's all snuggle and fall back to sleep," Mark said as he rolled Nicky to his side to be embraced by Rye in that familiar way that all of the boys had now experienced. Mark pulled himself in close behind. "Ummm....you guys are naked," Nicky stated. "Yeah, do you want us to get dressed or do you wanna get undressed?" Rye asked. "I will get undressed. I just want you to know I am not here for sex though, I just wanted someone to hold onto," Nicky said anxiously, not wanting his intentions to be misinterpreted. "We know that love, and even if it was for some luvin' we could get into that as well. Let's just cuddle for now though," Mark whispered as he helped Nicky remove his boxers. When everyone was settled and holding onto each other tightly Rye gently and tenderly kissed Nicky's lips. "Love you love." "Love you too angel, love you fella." "Love you both." Soon all three men were sleeping peacefully, lost in the warmth of each other's love. - Jill and Kian - An alarm ringing somewhere in the house wakened both Jill and Kian at the same time. "Morning beauty?" Kian smiled as he pulled Jill to him. "Morning, all wore out?" Jill smiled back. "A little, but you were right, it was amazing." "I'm so glad, you are gonna do it again aren't you?" Jill asked. "Yes. But for now how about I show you what I learned," Kian said sexily. "You learned stuff you can show me?" Jill raised an eyebrow. "Oh yeah." Kian moved on to Jill and kissed her. Her giggles were soon replaced by moans. - Bry boy and Boyo - "Who the hell would set an alarm on vacation?" Bryan moaned as he reached out to stroke Shane's hair. "My guess is Rye, probably force of habit. But now that we are up." Shane pushed his erection into Bryan's thigh. "Mmmmm....that's a much better way to wake up," Bryan laughed as he turned Shane's head so he could kiss his mouth. "Bry boy?" Shane asked. "Yeah?" "How do you feel about what Rye and Mark were talking about last night. That Mark won't be you know, doing it, with us?" Shane asked. "It's okay I guess. To tell you the truth I was disappointed. I was sort of looking forward to being with them both that way. But if it was weirding Mark out I am glad we won't be doing it. They are so kind and patient with us I would never want him to do it cuz he felt like he had to," Bryan said, the disappointment quite evident in his voice. "Yeah." "Are you nervous?" Bryan asked. "Oh yeah, big time. I am glad it is gonna be them for my first time." Shane said, then sat up with a look of fear on his face, "Oh Bry I didn't mean it like that....." "I know that my love," Bry pulled Shane's head back down to lay on his chest, "actually I agree with you. I want the first time for us to be special and I don't want to have to worry about scaring you or hurting you. They are going to teach us both." Bryan felt something wet on his chest and he gently moved Shane's head so he could see his face. "Why are you crying boyo. Did I do something wrong." Bryan was about ready to cry as well, thinking he had somehow hurt Shane. That was the thing that endeared Bryan to everyone, his emotions were just below the surface and so easily brought out. That and that he would hug you or ask to be hugged for no reason at all, he just loved to be touching someone. "No, it's nothing like that but......" "But what, please tell me so I can make it better," Bryan begged. "What if I can't do it, what if the fear comes back and we can't be together that way?" Shane was sobbing uncontrollably now. "That won't matter to me at all. I want you no matter what. It's just one thing. And we give each other pleasure so many other ways. I would never stop loving you if you can't be with me that way." Bryan hugged Shane tightly. Shane sobbed into Bryan until he calmed down. "I know you want to do it, so if I can't because....because I'm scared, then you can still do it with them whenever you want. It would be okay because it's Rye and Mark, I wouldn't mind at all really." "I know that. But I don't even know if I like it yet. But if I do like it and you can't do it, then we will have to talk about it. I think if we are going to be together then stuff like that we should discuss. So *if* I like the anal stuff, and *if* you don't or can't, then *maybe* Rye and I can do it with you and Mark being sorta like helpers like they did with Nicky," Bryan said. "Thank you my boy, but let's wait and see, I still don't know how I will react," Shane replied feeling very loved at the moment. After a few minutes Shane's breathing started to even out. "Shane?" Bryan asked. "Mmm?" "Can I ask you something, and sorta confess something?" Bryan asked. Shane became a little nervous as he became wide awake at the words. "Yeah." Shane whispered. "How do you feel towards Nicky?" Bryan asked. "I love him of course." "Yeah I know but..." Bryan stopped, afraid to continue. "It's okay my boy, say it." Shane encouraged, he felt he knew what was coming anyway and was not worried. "Please don't be mad, but I sorta love Nicky too, I mean like a boyfriend. I still love you. I mean all my dreams came true when you said you would be my boyfriend but well I feel the same about Nicky and I was wondering if...." Shane finished Bryan's thought for him, "we could be a threesome, like permanently, all three of us?" "Yeah. You don't think I am sick do ya. It's just that for so long I couldn't have either of you and now I have you and Nicky seems to be really into this too and I thought maybe we could all be together as boyfriends." "I think that would be great Bryan. I have a confession too. I felt the same way when I heard Nicky talking about his night with the lovers. You are so brave, I would never have had the courage to ask you to allow someone else in," Shane confessed. "Thanks Shane. There is something we have to think about before we ask him though," Bryan said firmly. "What's that?" "Well, with the lovers we are sort of sharing but not really a part of their relationship. With us three it would have to be different. We would all have to be equal. I mean we would probably all share the same bed but if you and Nicky wanted to be together I would have to be okay with it. It can't just be sharing it has to be equal," Bryan explained. Shane thought about it. "You're right. We would need rules for sure. Honestly though Bryan I don't think I would be comfortable with just two of us together when the third wasn't. It could too easily lead to one person being left out. I think I could only do this if we all promised to be together always. I am too unsure of myself to do it any other way. I'm sorry." Shane was sobbing quietly as he finished. Bryan held him closely. "Oh Shane I am so happy you said that. I was afraid you would want to do it without me there. I only said that so that you would be comfortable. That's the rules then, just like the lovers, all three of us together or not at all." "What if he doesn't want to be part of that though, could we still share with him every now and then, more than what we do now I mean. Would that be okay?" Shane asked. Bryan thought about it. "You mean like when we are with the lovers, the sucking and anal stuff?" "Yeah. If he decides that he isn't comfortable with being like a third boyfriend but still would be interested in sharing like that every now and then would it be okay?" Shane asked. "How do you feel about it?" Bryan asked, inside he knew he would be fine with it but wanted Shane to answer first so he could judge how he would answer. "I think it would be okay. It would be no different than the lovers. Our love is nothing like theirs, I mean they are like one soul, but we both love each other very strongly and we both love Nicky too. I think we could handle it. As long as we were completely honest with each other always and talked about it if it ever became uncomfortable or a problem," Shane explained his thoughts. "I agree. When should we talk to Nicky?" Bryan asked happily. "Let's wait for the right time. If we just blurt it out it may freak him out. A time will come up when it will be right. We may not be together when that time comes so one of us may have to explain it alone. Let's talk some more tomorrow to figure out everything, make sure we have covered all the bases. I want to go back to sleep now okay Bry boy?" Shane said sleepily. "Of course my beautiful boyo." Bryan kissed Shane's head. The two men cuddled close and kissed each other for a few minutes before settling back in and falling asleep, thoughts of sex gone and just enjoying the closeness of each other. - Gimme Some Luvin' - The three men woke together a few hours later. Everyone smiled and kissed each other while still holding onto each other. "I wish I could wake up with you guys every morning," Nicky smiled as he snuggled into the two men he was with. "You more or less can love. If you aren't with us the night before then just pop in like you did this morning." Rye smiled as his hands traced up and down Nicky's chest and belly, obviously ready now for more than snuggling. "That's not really fair to you, you guys must want some time alone, and you don't need a third person in here to mess things up," Nicky said, the need and desire evident in his voice even though he tried to hide it. "We probably will, but we can arrange that when we need to. We like having you with us, and don't ever say again that you being in here with us will mess things up okay love. You are special to both of us and we want you to be here." Mark's words were not said angrily but forcefully to ensure Nicky truly believed. Then Mark smiled. "So you ready for some luvin' now Nicky love?" "Really?" Nicky could not hide the excitement in his voice or between his legs. "Of course, wanta try something new we learned last night from Kian?" Mark asked. "Okay," Nicky said. Rye gently lifted Nicky's leg and placed his own hard cock between Nicky's legs. "You okay with this Nicky?" he asked as he lowered Nicky's leg to encompass his erection. "Yeah, that feels nice," Nicky's voice was thick with desire. "Now we aren't lubed up so I will only be moving a bit, but that's enough. I am gonna cum between your legs okay?" Rye asked. Nicky nodded, his eyes bright. Mark began to kiss Nicky's shoulder blades and neck as Rye began to gently move his cock, rubbing it between Nicky's thighs. Since Rye was getting the most stimulation he was the one who shot off first. Nicky closed his eyes and moaned as he felt the hot cum splash inside his thighs. Gently Rye withdrew from between Nicky's legs and pressed his wet cock tight against Nicky's. From behind Mark positioned his own erection and pushed into the now well lubed thighs. Nicky's eyes shot open. "Stop," Rye said. Immediately Mark pulled back, "I'm sorry Nicky." "No it's okay, please don't stop, it just surprised me was all. It felt so good with Rye, please Mark," Nicky almost begged. "I'm sorry fella, I thought we had gone too far for Nicky love but we just surprised him was all, my fault," Rye said to Mark. "No worries my angel." Mark smiled at his lover and once again pushed his cock in between Nicky's thighs. He began to move in and out with a gentle rhythm causing Nicky to moan. Nicky felt like electricity was pulsing through his body, he was so excited. He could feel Mark tense up and he felt the hot cum shoot between his legs and cover his balls. He could hold it no longer and released himself onto Rye. The three men lay there for a bit to catch their breath. "That was amazing. Kian taught you that?" Nicky asked. "I think he sort of thought it up on the spur of the moment but it was definitely hot," Mark said. "No shit, is that what made him scream at like 1 this morning?" Nicky asked. "No actually it was something we had done to you the other night that made him scream. Remember how we made you cum without touching your cock. Well after we made Kian cum three times last night we told him we were going to do it one more time. It took more than an hour but that last time he came more than he had the other three times combined. That was what made him scream." Rye chuckled. "An hour? My god that must have been amazing," Nicky smiled. "We can try it again with you if you want. In fact if you are going to be with us in the mornings we can try it tomorrow," Mark suggested. "You guys really don't mind me here do you? You keep saying it but it's just so hard to believe. Listen guys, after you have taught Bry boy and Shane, I think I wanta try the other thing." Nicky said. "You sure love?" Mark asked. "Yeah, I just wanta see what it's like, and I can say stop any time. Plus I know that you guys would never let me do it if I was even a little uncomfortable and I trust you both completely. So yeah, I wanta do it." "Okay Nicky love, tonight we are teaching Bryan, so tomorrow morning when you join us we can try it then," Rye suggested. "Sounds good. Now as amazing as feeling you two cum on me like that was, I am now cold and clammy and sticky. Can we hit the shower?" Nicky giggled. They laughed together as Mark grabbed some tissue and got most of the cum from between Nicky's legs so that he didn't leave a trail behind him as they walked to the shower. The three men laughed and kissed as they took turns washing each other and then drying each other. - The Beginning of an Emotional Day - Nicky left the lovers in the bathroom to get ready for the day. He walked to the kitchen to find Bry, Shane and Kian already there. "Well someone is up late," Kian smiled as he handed a glass of orange juice to Nicky. "Actually I was up really early, but I was lonely so after I heard Rye's alarm go off I went and joined them," Nicky said softly. "Geez I thought I was the horny one," Bryan laughed. Shane elbowed Bryan but Nicky got a sad expression on his face. "I wasn't horny, I mean we did share this morning but that was later." Nicky's voice cracked but he went on. "It's just that Mark has Rye, and you and Shane are together, and Kian has Jill, and I have nobody and sometimes I get lonely and need for someone to hold me and love me." A tear fell off of Nicky's cheek. Bryan, always the first to express emotion, was up in an instant pulling Nicky into a bone crushing hug. "Oh Nicky love I'm sorry, I should have been more careful, after all the lovers have done for me I should have been more conscious of your feelings. It's a bad way to repay them. And I should have known better. I used to feel like that all the time too. On tour I spent almost every night with someone, mostly for the same reasons, I just wanted to be held. "I know you did Bry boy. I used to love when you would climb in with me. But now it's going to be so different. You have Shane and you two will be together so you won't come and be with me. And Kian and Mark have people to be with so we can't be together anymore." A dry sob shook Nicky. Shane reached out and took Nicky's hand. "Nicky love, the lovers have taught us all some things about love. One of those things is that there is always room to share, especially between us all. Nothing will change on tour. It's true that Bryan and I are together but that doesn't mean you can't come and be with us so that we can both hold you. I still want to be able to hold all my brothers." "Really?" Nicky asked, his eyes showing he wanted so much to believe the words. "Of course, you should realize that better than anyone else Nicky love. What did the lovers teach you about love?" Kian asked. "That it was about trust and friendship." Nicky stated then realized what he had said. The lovers had taken time to teach the thing about love that each person needed to know most, and for Nicky it had been that friendship is the purest form of love and could overcome any obstacle and never really ended. "That's right Nicky. It is about friendship and we are all the best of friends. You think because I am with Jill that I am going to stop loving you? That's not how it works. And besides that, it's true that here we all seem to have someone except you, but on tour Jill and Rye are not going to be with us. I think that Mark and I are going to be needing your strength and friendship to help us get through it all," Kian said. "He's right Nicky. Especially about Mark. Think about what those three weeks is going to do to him. I was thinking just yesterday how I am gonna feel about leaving Rye and just broke down and started to cry, I can't begin to imagine how it will affect Mark," Shane said. "God you're right. How could I be so selfish thinking about myself when Mark and Kian are gonna be so upset?" Nicky said. "Stop it Nicky," Shane said sternly. Everyone looked at Shane in surprise. "Shane?" Bryan asked. "Just because you were thinking about yourself does not mean you were being selfish, there is a difference. I know when the time comes you will be there for Mark, as much or more than the rest of us, that's just the way you are. But the lovers taught me that sometimes love can be about yourself, about your pleasure and your needs. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be held and loved. I spent most of my life feeling dirty and ashamed and unworthy of being loved. They fixed me and showed me it is alright to have desires and it doesn't make you a bad person. It only becomes selfish when you are unwilling to care or love someone back, and that is just not something you could ever do, that's not the type of person you are, you wouldn't be our friend if you were," Shane said it strongly. Nicky threw himself around Shane. "I love you Shane." "We all love each other Nicky, that's what being brothers is about." Shane smiled as he stroked Nicky's back and hair, a tear fell as his eyes found Bryan's and he saw Bryan nod to him. "We are going to have to really look after Mark on tour guys," Kian stated. "And you too," Bryan said. "A bit maybe but it's not going to be the same as with Mark. Jill and I are falling in love, but Mark and Rye are so in love with each other. I think they were meant to be together since before they were born, like soulmates, just fated to be together. The love between Rye and Mark goes so far beyond what we have, or anything I have ever seen before it's almost frightening. I don't think the other could survive if one were to leave or something happen to them. I mean their love is like...." Kian stopped unable to come up with any words he just threw his hands wide to encompass everything. "Kian is right, he will be upset but it's not going to be like what Mark is going to experience," Shane nodded. Nicky took his orange juice glass and raised it, the others also raised their glasses and waited for him to speak, "To our brother Mark, I swear to watch over and care for him so that no harm comes to him and to make the time away from his true love go by as quickly and painlessly as possible, and to finally bring him safely back to the arms of his true love." The others nodded and clinked glasses, "To Mark," they all said. "That was beautiful guys, you put a lot of my fears to rest," Rye said as he entered the kitchen. "Rye we were just..." Bryan seemed to be embarrassed. "Pledging to look after my love when I can't be there to do it myself. I know. I heard your entire conversation, I was only a few seconds behind Nicky." Rye looked a little embarrassed. "I didn't really mean to eavesdrop but you guys were just so beautiful together, looking after each other and comforting each other. I am so blessed to have you all in my life." The guys just looked at Rye in shock. "*You're* blessed to have *us*?" Shane said incredulously. "It's us who are are blessed to have you," Kian said shaking his head. Rye was about to respond when Mark came in behind and put his arms around Rye's waist. "We are all blessed to have each other then," Rye smiled. Everyone smiled and Mark started to prepare breakfast for them all. "Where's Jill?" Mark asked as he got eggs from the fridge. "She is going to be sleeping late I think," Kian said with a grin on his face. "Ooooh, someone got lucky," Bryan teased. Jill smacked Bryan on the back of the head lightly as she entered. "Yes she did thank you very much smutboy." She then leaned down and kissed him soundly on the lips. "Eeew, girl cooties," Bryan laughed as he wiped his mouth off. Everyone laughed at his joking. Jill looked at Rye and Mark with mock anger, "What did you two do to my boy last night?" "What?" Rye looked confused, he knew there was no real anger but he also didn't know what Jill was talking about. "Well not to freak all you non-hetero's out but after he came back from you two last night we had sex for several hours, during which he didn't cum once. I thought I told you not to break him," Jill said. She was not really upset but she was a little confused at Kian's actions. "Ah," Both Mark and Rye said. "Well?" she asked. It was Kian who answered. "They showed me that sometimes love can be about foregoing your own pleasure to give pleasure to your lover. So that's what last night was about." Kian had come up and placed his arms around Jill. Jill melted at his touch and his words. "It was amazing Kian. The whole time I could think of nothing but how much I knew you loved me and how much I loved you." "Then I learned it right. That's what I felt last night when I was with them," Kian smiled. Everyone smiled and the sound of bacon sizzling was the only sound for a few moments. "Guys can we all discuss something. It is kinda important and may be a bit of a downer but I think we have to talk about it and now is as good a time as any," Rye said. "Rye no please," Mark said. "It's okay Mark really, you know we have to do this," Rye said. Mark nodded and turned back to the bacon. He knew what this was going to be about and he did know that it had to be talked over. Everyone took a seat and looked at Rye. "On the ride up here Mark was talking about how hard the next 3 weeks are going to be for him without me there. Then he said that after that we won't ever have to be apart again because he is going to come out publicly." Every one of the guys eyes widened at the news. "I told him that even though it was his life, there were a lot of other people to consider, his family, me, and especially you guys. We both know you said you would stand beside him but I tried to explain that forcing the issue could end up hurting everyone. "So I, we, need you all to sit and discuss when and how our being together will become public. Now I want no arguments on this part, I am not going to be a part of those discussions. Rye held up his hand immediately knowing that there were going to be arguments, and there was. Everyone started to object. Rye chuckled. "I said no arguments. I will contribute this to the discussion though. Personally I don't care if Mark ever comes out. I am happy with our love and if we have to keep it from the world for years that is fine, as long as we are together. And by that I mean all of you not just Mark, I want us all to be together. But it is important to him for us to be able to show our love in public, especially so that we don't have to be apart when you are all on tour, and that part I agree with. "Secondly, I want you all to discuss this as Westlife, not as my friends and not worrying what I may think. I have already told you I am perfectly happy to continue the way we are. So that is the reason I am not going to be in on the discussion. You may have to say what you consider to be some pretty shitty things. I am a businessman and I understand that sometimes business can be shitty. I am leaving the discussion not because I don't want to hear what you are going to say but because I want you to be able to speak honestly without worrying about my feelings. "Finally, I want you to take into consideration how it would hurt me, hurt me so deeply," and here Rye put his hand over his heart, "if anything were to come between you guys friendship or your music. If you decide to go ahead and allow Mark to come out publicly and one or all of you changed how you felt about him, or your career suffered or you lost the joy of music, it would kill me a little bit each day. Eventually it would hurt our friendship and may end it, or it may hurt Mark and my relationship. That can't happen and I would have to leave rather than let that it happen. As much as it would kill me to lose any of you, it would be so much worse if I was the cause of you losing each other or your music, so I would have to leave. Tears were running down Rye's face and everyone heard Mark sob behind them. "So Jill and I are going to go for a walk while you all talk okay. I trust you that when you come to a decision, whatever it may be, that you have thought it through and that you all agree to it. I never want to have to worry that I have done something to harm any of you in any way, and I will take you at your word that after you have decided nothing will come between us because of it." Rye got up and Jill put her arms around him instantly as they left to walk the beach. - Rye's Fears - Jill placed her hand in Rye's as they walked the beach. "You gonna be okay hon?" she asked quietly. "I hope so," Rye said then started to sob. "Oh baby it will be okay, I know it will." Jill held him tightly. "Are you sure? We have only all been together for a short time. What if they decide I'm not worth the effort? What if Mark realizes he doesn't love me or it's just infatuation?" Rye asked, letting his fears and dark thoughts take over. "Honey you know none of that will happen. Can you really not see how much you mean to all of them, especially Mark. I think that if you were ever to leave them they would all spiral down into such depression that none of them would recover. Mark would die," Jill stated. Rye looked at her sharply. "It's true, you said the same thing about yourself and let me tell you that broke my heart." "Jill I love you so much but Mark...." Jill stopped him. "I know you love me, and it hurt a little bit at first to think that suddenly Mark meant more to you than me or that I was not enough to keep you here." Rye's head fell. "At first it hurt but then I realized that you two are part of the same soul, neither of you could survive without that other part. Though it would break my heart I would have understood, I would have hated it and I don't think I would have lasted much longer but I would have understood. I know you wouldn't have been able to stay. And let me tell you that was no easy revelation for me to make. "Now as for what will happen in the future. None of those guys up there want to do anything to hurt you." "That's what I am afraid of," Rye confessed. "No Rye, they know that just giving in and letting Mark do this would hurt you as much as telling him no would hurt him. You made it clear how much they could hurt you and that is gonna be foremost in their minds. They have a hard decision to make, my bet is the hardest decision of their lives and they will take everything into account. When this is over they are going to be united in their friendship and stronger than they ever have been before. It is just gonna drive us nuts while they do it." Jill laughed and placed her hand in Rye's hand and pulled him along the beach. - The Meaning of Love - The guys watched from the living room windows as Jill and Rye left They watched as Rye broke down and Jill comforted him and then set off down the beach. Finally the five men went back to the kitchen. "How can anyone be that strong?" Nicky asked to nobody in particular, and nobody answered. Shane turned to Mark as he set the last plate of food on the table. "You ready to do this Mark?" "No, but I guess we have to," Mark replied quietly. "How are we going to start? I mean this is so big," Bryan asked. "First let's just hold onto each other for a bit, make sure we are all in a good place and share our love. I don't know about anyone else but I need to feel your love before we start," Kian said. Everyone got up and got into a circle where they held onto each other, then Nicky brought Mark into the centre of the circle so that everyone was holding onto Mark. Mark began to cry softly. The men stayed like that for several minutes. "Some of the things we say or do may hurt you Mark, we don't want to do that but we have to follow Rye's wishes and do this right. Please know that we love you so much and that we love Rye too. Please don't let what has to happen here affect our friendship." Nicky said. Mark kept his head down for a long time then raised it to meet the eyes of his friends. "I won't. I will do this for me and Rye and for you all. Nothing that is said or done here today will hurt any of us and I will abide by our decision, I swear it to all of you." Shane had never been so proud of anyone in his life as he was with Mark at this moment. Mark kept surprising Shane with his strength and devotion to Rye and the rest of the guys. Everyone was surprised when Bryan spoke, "Heavenly father please be with us all in this our most trying time. Please clear our hearts and minds and help us to come to the proper decision. Please guide us and watch over us and let our love for each other and for Rye strengthen us and bring us even closer. Please let us be guided by our hearts but also by reason. Amen." The others quickly responded and also said their 'Amens'. "That was beautiful Bryan," Kian said. "I figured if God saw fit to bring an angel into our lives then he would help us here as well," Bryan shrugged. Everyone sat down and nobody spoke for about 15 minutes. Nobody seemed to know what to do or say. Finally Shane cleared his throat. "I guess I will start. I am just going to sort of talk about my feelings. This is so big I don't know any other way to start. Shane took a big breath and began. "Okay I have thought several times in the last few days what would happen if management found out or somehow someone else found out. My reaction has always been to worry about it when it happens. Not much of a plan but I was so happy I didn't want to think that the happiness might end. Truthfully I don't think it will, the happiness I mean. Now I don't want us to do worse case, but in my head I have already done it. So worse case for Westlife is we go public and lose all our fans. Do I really think that would happen? No. I know that we would only lose a small fraction and we would pick up a few new fans I think. "But let's say that that worse case actually did happen and we lost everything. Would that be a big deal? We all have money to burn, and frankly I know that we could stay with Rye forever so money doesn't really enter into it." "That's sorta, I don't know, gold-diggerish." Kian said, making up a word for lack of a real one. "Not really. He is going to be giving us a place to stay or something. I mean he told us he wants us to come back to live with him. He didn't say we had to pay him anything. I mean really, we would never want to do it but if we had to, Rye would look after all of us," Shane answered. "Shane is right. I can't tell you any more about his plans, but I know that Rye will look after all of us forever and not even think twice about it," Mark answered calmly. Everyone noticed how calm Mark was, like he already knew the outcome. "Now I am not proposing that we just let everything go to shit and sponge off of Rye. I mean I know at the very least he would let us be like house band or something although knowing Rye he would probably buy us our own club or something. None of us wants it to end that way, but really Rye is like a safety net for us and despite what he said that is factoring into how I look at this." Shane smiled then continued. "Okay so lets continue with the worse case of us losing it all. When it gets right down to it all we lose is money. We would still have each other, we would still have Rye, we would still have our music. So we lose nothing," Shane said. "Except that it would kill Rye if that happened." Mark said and Shane smiled. Mark was actually being the devil's advocate here, making sure that nothing was done rashly. "Exactly. Even though Rye said to discuss this as Westlife and as a business we all know that sometimes personal life interferes. I believe Rye when he says it would slowly eat away at us all. Maybe not at first and we would all hate to admit it but sooner or later resentment would creep in towards Mark and Rye." Shane held up his hands as Nicky and Bryan started to protest. "It's true. Bryan remember the morning after we found Mark. You asked if it was all worth it, all the emotion and turmoil and why not just pack up and leave?" Bryan's eyes went wide and he turned to Mark. "It's okay Bry boy," Mark said calmly and brought Bryan's hand to his lips to kiss it gently. "Yes it is okay. Because when you started to think about it you realized you couldn't do it. You didn't want to hurt Mark and you didn't want to hurt Rye either. Remember how determined you were to make sure that nothing hurt either one of them. Well we have to keep that determination now. Even making what we think is the right decision could still hurt either one of them," Shane stated emphatically. "So we are damned if we do and damned if we don't. There is no answer. If we say 'no don't come out' then we hurt Mark and indirectly Rye. If we say 'sure go ahead' and all hell breaks loose, we hurt ourselves and down the road maybe Mark and Rye. How do we decide?" Nicky asked. "Without knowing the future we can't know for sure what will happen," Shane said, "But.." Everyone waited patiently for him to continue and in a couple of minutes he did. "I have thought about this from the instant I found out Rye was gay. Even before I knew that he and Mark were in love. I wanted so badly for Mark to be with someone and I trusted Rye almost instantly. It's funny how quickly we grew to love and trust him isn't it." Shane got a faraway look for a couple of minutes then came back to himself when he realized everyone was still watching him and he blushed. "Sorry. So this is what I came up with. I know I should have probably talked this over with you guys before now but I could just never find the right time to bring it up. So with all this time of thinking to myself I have pretty much come up with a plan." "Thank god," Kian said, "this was going to be so hard, but you look after us so well Shane. I was hoping you already had it figured out." "Well I don't know if it's figured out but it is one solution." Shane took a breath and began, "Okay our contract is set for renewal at the end of this tour. I say we don't renew. We take some time to get our strength back emotionally, maybe 5 or 6 months, and that gives Mark and Rye's relationship time to grow as well so that when the media gets a hold of the story it's not just a week long relationship but it's a strong relationship that has been going on for some time. We know it's so much more than that already but the media would have a field day. When Mark comes out we have the control, we do it ourselves, on our schedule. We throw our full support behind Mark. We will have been working on getting songs together for a new album. When we are ready we find a new label and new management, we go into it holding all the cards. Our music is our own to control, our lives are our own. If it doesn't work out that we gain back all our old fans then so be it. I honestly don't believe we will lose that many fans. But by doing it this way we can control things like when and how our friends and families find out. I know Rye said to have this meeting as Westlife but honestly I can't do it that way. Westlife just doesn't matter to me in the end. It's my friends and brothers that matter. So that's what I came up with, I'm sorry if it didn't help. I don't know how you all feel about losing Westlife but now at least you know how I feel." Nobody said anything for a long time, digesting all that Shane had said. Finally it was Kian who spoke. "I like it. It works for me. Mark gets to come out so he can be who he really is and never have to leave Rye. We release ourselves from our contracts so that there is no pressure from them. We work together as friends to control our music. We have time to talk to our friends and our families. When it is time to start up again we go into it strong and united. I agree we will lose some fans, it's bound to happen, but I also agree we will gain some fans. People, and not just gay people, will appreciate our commitment to our friends and our stand against bigotry. We don't have to go marching in parades but by not abandoning Mark we make a huge statement. "I can't say that nobody will get hurt, none of us can, but it sure cuts down on the chances. We said it once before that we would all stand by Mark even if it meant the end of Westlife. I still believe that, but doing it without thinking about it could have had some serious consequences that may have caused some resentment later. I don't like to think that any of us are like that, but we are all only human. Look at how upset I was with Rye over something so simple as his close friendship with Jill. It took him almost yelling at me and threatening to take away his friendship to make me realize what I was about to lose. No, that won't happen this time. I want to do this just like Shane laid out. More important than anything is my strong friendship with you all and Rye and Jill. I will not lose that, and I will try not to lose Westlife, but when it comes down to it I will choose friendship over the band without hesitation. The others all nodded. Bryan had a huge grin on his face and Nicky was smiling happily. Mark still looked calm and peaceful but was also smiling. "So we have our decision then," Shane said and turned to look directly into the eyes of Bryan. "I agree," Bryan said. Shane turned his eyes on Kian "Me too," Kian smiled. "Nicky?" "It's brilliant, I agree." Everyone turned to Mark. "I agree. Thank you all." Shane had looked into the eyes of all his friends and saw that nobody was hiding anything. Everyone had been truthful and accepted this solution. "Let's go tell Rye and Jill then," Bryan jumped up. "Bry boy, maybe Mark wants to tell him himself," Nicky suggested. "No, this is from all of us, we all get to tell him," Mark said as he jumped up and put his arm around Bryan. Together the group walked the beach to where Rye and Jill were sitting a few hundred yards away. - Lean On Me - "We should have grabbed something to eat, they have been in there a long time and I am getting hungry," Jill giggled. Suddenly Rye tensed beside her and stood. She looked to see the guys come out of the cabin. "They have decided I guess," Rye said shakily. "It's all good though." "How can you tell?" "Mark and Bryan are in the lead, smiling, with their arms around each other," Jill smiled. Rye relaxed. Jill was right. He could see them all smiling now. They started walking towards the guys to meet them. When Mark saw them coming he released Bryan and started to run to Rye who also began to run. The two men met in a hug and kiss. They held each other like that, just rocking back and forth until the rest caught up. "Well I guess you can tell it's all good news," Bryan giggled as he hugged Rye tightly from behind. "Yeah," Rye said emotionally. "It's all good Rye, let's go back so we can tell you about it," Shane said. "So you're not going to leave me?" Rye said softly but loud enough for everyone to have heard. Mark pulled back in shock. Shock showed on everyone's face. "Rye that was never even considered, none of us will ever leave you. How could you even think that?" Nicky asked. "It's just that we have only been together for so short a time and you all have know each other for years and I was just worried...." Rye looked around at the hurt faces around him and then passed out as his emotions finally overtook him. He briefly heard Shane and Mark shout his name, before blackness took him. Some time later Rye awoke on the couch in the cabin. He opened his eyes to see everyone gathered around him with worried looks. He started to say something but was stopped by Shane's fingertips on his lips. "Don't apologize angel. None of us realized what this was doing to you," Shane said as he reached down to stroke Rye's chest. "Just know that leaving you was never an option for us. It never even occurred to us. It would kill us to leave you, believe that okay?" Rye nodded silently, scared to speak. Mark moved a bit and Rye realized his head was in Mark's lap. "It hurt a bit when you said that. I thought maybe you didn't love me as much as I loved you, but I realized it was just what was going on was taking it's toll on you. I don't hold it against you or love you less, in fact I think I love you more. I didn't realize how fragile you can be sometimes. So no apologies will be offered by anybody. Understood?" Rye nodded again, still afraid to speak. Mark leaned down and kissed him tenderly. "Remember our theme song," Kian grinned widely. Everyone smiled and chuckled, then looked at Rye to start. Sometimes in our lives We all have pain We all have sorrow But if we are wise We know that there's Always tomorrow Lean on me When you're not strong I'll be your friend I'll help you carry on For it won't be long Till I'm gonna need Somebody to lean on Please swallow your pride If I have things You need to borrow For no one can fill Those of your needs That you won't let show You just call on me brother When you need a hand We all need somebody To lean on I just might have a problem That you'll understand We all need somebody to lean on Lean on me When you're not strong I'll be your friend I'll help you carry on For it won't be long Till I'm gonna need Somebody to lean on You just call on me brother When you need a hand We all need somebody to lean on I just might have a problem That you'll understand We all need somebody to lean on If there is a load You have to bare That you can't carry I'm right up the road I'll share your load If you just call me Call Me If you need a friend Once again nobody was embarrassed by the corniness of the moment as they all sang the song that seemed to embody their feelings so well. - Chateau Rye - Everyone was finishing up breakfast, although it was late enough now that it could almost have been considered lunch. Everyone was happy and smiling and any traces of the emotionally draining morning were gone. "So who wants to do what today?" Rye asked. "Well, what all is there to do?" Bryan asked. "Okay well, you saw the game room so you know whats there; pool, darts, pinball, foosball, board games. There's the hot tub. There are jet skis in the boathouse, and a boat with water skis. There is a clearly marked trail around the lake, but that is like a 8 hour hike so pack something to eat. There are some four- wheelers in the garage. If you head back up the trail Ed will let you ride the horses." Rye rhymed off the possible activities. "What no para-sailing?" Bryan joked. Rye looked embarrassed. "No shit!" Bryan exclaimed then rolled his eyes. "Umm yeah there are para-sails you can hook up to the boat. But you need to get Ed to show you how to work them. I don't really like para-sailing." Everyone laughed. "Kian do you know how to ride?" Jill asked. "Yeah, but its been awhile. Wanta do that?" Kian asked "Yeah we can pack a lunch and do the trail on horseback," Jill said. "I'd like to try the jet-skis, anyone wanta join me in that?" Mark said. "Yeah sounds good to me," Nicky said. "How many jet skis are there?" Bryan asked hopefully. "Four," Rye stated. "Then I am there too," Bryan giggled. "I was hoping for some snooker and then maybe just get some sun," Shane said. "That sounds good for me boyo. We can shoot a few games then go get a tan." Rye said. "Hey before you guys start let's get the security set up." Everyone looked at Rye who smiled. "This is gonna be a little weird guys, but like I said Ed is a bit of a security freak so it sorta has to be done." Eveyone nodded. "Emma?" Rye said. "Yes Rye." The voice of the security system spoke immediately, everyone except Jill jumped a bit. "Verify Rye Encoke, authorization delta delta alpha." "Authorization verified, how can I assist you Rye." "This is too weird," Bryan murmured though his eyes sparkled, secretly he felt like a spy. "Open 5 new security profiles." "Verifying request to open 5 new security profiles, is this correct?" "Yes." "Very well, authorize first new profile." "Authorize Mark, full access, authorization delta delta alpha." "Thank you Rye. Mark?" The security computer had spoken to Mark, but Mark didn't know what to do. "Mark?" the voice asked again. "Yes?" answered Mark. "Please repeat the following, 'My name is Mark, hello Emma'." "My name is Mark, hello Emma." "Capturing voice pattern. Welcome home Mark. Please identify." Rye leaned over to Mark and whispered, Mark nodded. "Verify Mark Feehily authorization delta delta alpha." Mark spoke. "Authorization verified, pattern stored, thank you Mark enjoy your stay. Authorize second new profile." The rest of the guys followed suit and were all granted access. Rye explained the various security procedures and phrases they needed to know. "Now this one is the most important and the one you hope you never have to use. In case you are in any danger, you can lock down the house. This is the phrase." Rye wrote it out on a piece of paper, and watched as they all read it. "Using this code locks down the house, notifies Ed and the local authorities. Now the authorities are about 2 hours away but Ed is ex marine and would be here in about 10 minutes, armed to the teeth so this is never to be used unless it is needed," Rye stressed. "That is cool Rye. What exactly does locking down the house mean?" Kian asked. "I can show you. Emma?" "Yes Rye?" "Verify test." "Understood Rye, this is a test and only a test." Rye smiled and said the words he had written out, "Emma, emergency response lock down." The guys nearly shit themselves. The lights in the house went out, steel shutters came down over all the windows and steel doors slammed shut over the openings in the kitchen. They could hear similar doors and shutters closing all over the house. Then red lights came on in the kitchen and the house was silent. "Fuck me!" Nicky said. "The only way someone can get into the house is with a tank, same with individual rooms. The computer keeps track of who is in each room through voice patterns. Any room that contains a voice pattern that is not recognized is filled with a gas that will knock out anyone in the room in about 5 seconds," Rye said. "Okay Rye this is a little too much for me, can we stop it now." Bryan's daydreams of a secret agent were quickly vanishing and he sounded scared. "Sorry Bry boy. Emma, end test, return to ready." "Thank you Rye, returning to ready." The lights went back on and doors opened and windows brightened. When it was over you could not even see where the security doors hid between the walls. "Okay guys, I guess we are all on our own for fun today. Just sort of random munching for the day and another barbecue for supper?" Rye asked. Everyone nodded and began to disperse to get ready. "Bry boy, Shane could we talk to you for a second?" Rye said. Bryan and Shane came back in to sit with Mark and Rye. "I thought I would sorta lay out how I thought we could continue with things and see if it was okay," Rye said. Everyone nodded. "Okay I thought that tonight Bryan could join us to experience it and tomorrow Shane could join us and then Saturday night you could both join us," Rye said. "Umm okay, but why spread it out so long?" Bryan asked. "Well, that way there is no embarrassment between you two. You get to learn at your own pace. And I think with Shane things might be a little more difficult. So on the the third night you have both had a chance to get comfortable with it all and will be ready to share with each other. On that last night both Mark and I will act only as helpers and guides. It will just be you two together," Rye said. Even though it was always Bryan who was eager to jump and hug someone, this time it was Shane who jumped up to pull both Rye and Mark into a hug. "That's perfect my boys, thank you," Shane said. "I want to ask you two something as well," Rye continued, "Have you considered that Shane may not be able to go through with this now, or maybe ever?" "Yes we talked about it this morning and I said it didn't matter. We are able to give each other pleasure in so many other ways that if we can't do it this way it's okay and I won't love him any less." Bryan answered before Shane could say anything. Shane had his head low. "You are quite the man Bryan, I can see why Shane loves you," Mark said. "I told him that if I couldn't do it then he could still do it with you two and I wouldn't mind, but he said he didn't think he would. I don't want him to miss out on anything so tell him he can be with you okay," Shane said and Rye saw a tear fall from his eyes. "Sure Shane and you can just forget your silly fears and let me fuck you," Rye responded harshly. Everyone just stared open mouthed at Rye. It was said harshly and was meant to provoke an outburst, unfortunately the outburst came from Bryan. "What the fuck?" Bryan shouted and pushed Rye so that his chair went over and he fell back. "Whoa," Mark said as he stepped in front of Bryan and the others came into the room from around the house, "Calm down Bryan." Rye stood up and smiled. "Well that wasn't what I was expecting." Rye turned and looked at the anger in Shane'e eyes and spoke to Shane, "But your anger was." "That was a shitty thing to say Rye," Shane was standing and shaking in anger. Bryan was being restrained by Mark and looked like he was ready to kill. Nobody else said anything and Kian, Nicky and Jill were scared, not knowing what had happened. "It was wasn't it. But why do you hate me for telling you to ignore your feelings when you just told me to make Bryan forget his feelings," Rye explained calmly. Shane's eyes opened in surprise as he thought about what Rye said. Then he turned to Bryan who was still glaring angrily at Rye and said, "I'm sorry Bry boy, I was awful to you." Bryan was surprised and turned to Shane. Everyone watched as Bryan put together what had happened. It wasn't that Bryan was stupid but he tended to think with his heart first and his brain only kicked in later. Finally his eyes softened and he pulled Shane to him. Jill, Kian and Nicky left, realizing that whatever had happened did not really concern them and they would find out about it later if they needed to be told. Then something else kicked in for Bryan and his eyes got wide and his body tensed. He turned slowly to look at Rye. "Oh God Rye I'm so sorry," Bryan said. Rye smiled and hugged Bryan, "No worries my boy that was the quickest and sincerest display of love I have ever seen. But I did it on purpose to make Shane think. I just hadn't counted on you being so protective." "But I hit you," Bryan said as if Rye himself did not understand what had happened. "Yeah you did, good for you, I deserved it. I'm surprised you didn't punch me. I didn't think that through very well but it worked so that's what's important," Rye smiled. "So we are okay?" Bryan wanted Rye to say it. "We are always okay, I love you Bry boy." Rye tenderly kissed Bryan on the lips then on both his eyes. "Come on Shane let's play some pool." Rye pulled Shane behind him as they headed to the games room, leaving Mark and Bryan in the kitchen. "How does he do that?" Bryan asked. "What?" "Make everything okay, take a hit and then pretend like it doesn't matter." "Cuz it doesn't. Rye would give everything for any one of us, even his friendship. Kian told me that Rye was willing to give up their friendship if it meant that Kian would stop criticizing himself so that he could be with Jill. He just did the same thing here. He put his friendship on the line so that you two could be happy. It's just Rye." Mark smiled but inside he was filled with pride. Bryan turned to Mark and asked, "Is he really an angel?" Mark smiled and looked at Bryan but saw that Bryan was serious. "I don't know Bry boy, I don't think so, but he is unlike anyone I have ever met before. If it makes you feel better to think it then go ahead, he is certainly our angel whether or not he is from heaven or not." Bryan smiled, "I'm not stupid you know, just slow sometimes. I guess I don't really think he is an angel but he is just so special that I find it hard to think of him as a normal person." "That can be a problem sometimes though. Look at what happened earlier. Nobody suspected how much pain and confusion Rye was experiencing, how his emotions were building up. He was terrified that we were going to leave him. We take so much of our strength and love from him we sometimes forget what a shitty life he has had and that he is so very very fragile himself," Mark said. "I'm sorry I hit him," Bryan said. Mark smiled and put his arm around Bryan, "I know you are, but I will tell you it took me off guard what he said too. I was about to yell at him but you beat me to it. Just let it go Bry boy, he has. Let's get changed and grab a jet ski." ...to be continued Okay I used Lean On Me again, Bill Withers sings it as do many others. It's a great song and for me it fits. All rights to the song and lyrics are retained by their respective authors.