Date: Mon, 25 Jun 2001 23:52:28 EDT From: KandLStories@aol.com Subject: The Maze of Moments 10 - celebrity/boy band FIRST OF ALL....Your standard disclaimer here. No, I don't know Lance Bass, Justin Timberlake, or any of the other members of N'Sync. This is fiction folks. Make believe. Not real. Just a happy little fantasy, okay? All other characters are products of my imagination, and any coincidence is just that. Don't sue me, I have no money. Secondly, big, huge, massive props to my fellow members of the Friday Night Club. You guys know who you are. And your support, advice, and inspiration means more to me than I can ever say. Thank you. Lastly, this one is for Brian, who I have come to respect and love as a friend. Thanks, buddy. Hey! Send me some feedback! I'd love to hear what you have to say. Really, I would! Questions, comments, et al can be directed at KandLStories@aol.com Kevin and Lance Stories and The Maze of Moments copyright 2001. Thanks for waiting, and now on with the show! --Tony The Maze of Moments - A Kevin and Lance Story Chapter 10 - Times Past "Time, see what's become of me...." -from "A Hazy Shade of Winter" by Simon and Garfunkel Through the years he had known Kevin Douglas, there were certain things that Eric Hagen had simply come to accept as fact. Things that, like the sun rising in the east every day, were just little facets of life that happened on a consistent basis. Kevin could be somewhat of a flirt when he wanted to; he could sing very well; he was actually very intelligent, although he tried to hide it as much as possible for some reason; and no matter how much they drank the night before, Eric always got up first. Always. Now, this wasn't something that he looked forward to by any means. On the contrary, there was nothing more he wanted than to get back into bed, pull up the covers, and hide for a couple of hours longer, figuring the world wouldn't need him for another hour or three. However, his internal body clock said different. No matter how much they drank, no matter how late they stayed up or out, Eric always got up first. Always. Much to his regret. And so, on this Friday morning, just before nine, Eric stumbled down the stairs, rubbing sleep out of his eyes, and cursing his luck internally, wondering why it was that Kevin, who could drink anyone under the table if he really wanted to, was able to sleep as long as he wanted with no trouble, and could shake off the affects of alcohol with little effort. As he reached the bottom of the stairs, he paused to stretch and yawn, and noticed that he wasn't the only one awake on this bright and sunny morning. Justin Timberlake woke up somewhere around seven, as the call of nature was more powerful than the urge to sleep. After taking care of business, so to speak, he wandered back to the couch, and lay down, where he proceeded to toss and turn for the better part of an hour. With a sigh, he gave in, sat back up, and began to watch television. This was how Eric found him, sitting there watching cartoons. "Morning," Eric mumbled. Justin grunted in response. Walking into the kitchen, Eric opened up one of the cabinets and pulled out a box of Frosted Flakes, then turned to the clean part of the sink for a bowl and spoon. "Hey, Justin, you want some...." As he turned to finish his statement, he saw Justin already in the kitchen with him. "Yeah, I guess you do then, huh?" Justin grunted again. They sat at the table, eating their cereal in silence. Once finished, Eric put the bowls in the sink, and began to make a pot of coffee. "So, you sleep alright?" he asked. "Yeah." "Aha, he speaks!" Eric laughed. "Sorry. Morning isn't exactly my favorite time of the day. The others can testify to that," Justin said. "Perfectly understandable. You want some coffee when it's done?" "Please. Lots of sugar." After pouring two good sized mugs, adding cream to both and a few packets of sugar to Justin's, Eric suggested they go outside and sit on the deck. The sun was up, and the morning was warm, but not yet hot. In fact, with the low humidity, at least for the time being, it was shaping up to be a rather pleasant day. Justin stripped off his shirt and tossed it aside, figuring that this would be a good opportunity to work on his tan, while Eric pulled a cigarette from a pack he had brought out with him and lit it. "So, you're a smoker, huh?" Justin asked, taking a sip of his coffee. "Shhh. Don't tell anyone. I don't do it often, but sometimes I crave one first thing in the morning. And if I'm drinking a lot, then it kind of becomes a necessity," he explained. "Hey, whatever. Like I said, your lungs dude." Justin paused, and drank some more before continuing. "Well, that was quite an evening. You two sure can put together a party." "Hell, that was nothing. You should have seen when Kevin turned legal. Last night was tea time compared to that one! Still, it was fun. By the way, Mr. Cardshark, how the hell did you wind up getting the pot last night?" "Blind luck, maybe?" Justin shrugged. "I guess. Bastard." Laughing, Eric flicked some ashes with his thumb and finger, then took a drink. "What do you think of the lovebirds?" he asked, after swallowing. "I think they're too cute, that's what," was Justin's reply. "I see your point there, it does kind of make my teeth hurt. But, come on, you know what I meant." "Well, they seem pretty happy together, and that's all that counts. If Lance is happy, then so am I. Kevin seems like a pretty good guy, so it's all good as far as I'm concerned." "I kind of feel the same way. They deserve each other, you know? It's like they were waiting for each other to come along." "Yeah, you get that feeling too, huh?" Eric nodded. "I do. Especially after everything Kevin has been through. It's good that he has someone." "Same way with Lance. The rest of us have been pretty lucky, you know? But we always felt bad because he didn't have anyone waiting for him when we got off the road, or had some time off." "Yeah, he kind of hinted at that a little." Eric stubbed out his cigarette before continuing. "Tell me about him. What's Lance really like?" Justin finished off the rest of his coffee. "Wow. How to sum up James Bass. Good question. Well, I guess the first thing to say is that you'll never find a better friend, anywhere. Whenever one of us needs to talk about something, or is feeling down, whatever, Lance is always there for us. And if something is wrong, it's like....he just knows. He'll go out of his way to spend time with whoever it is, try and get them to talk about it, see if there's something he can do, even if that means only being a shoulder to cry on. "I remember when we first started doing this, being the baby of the group was really hard. I missed my friends, missed home, missed doing everything a normal teenager does. I had a hard time adjusting. Well, Lance was always there for me, to talk to or hang out with, play video games, whatever. And he's done the same for the other guys just as much. We can always count on him for that, and that doesn't even include all the stuff he does for the group behind the scenes. Schedules, appearances, all the little shit that we would get confused about, he just knows. He keeps us in line." "Sounds that way. No wonder you guys call him Scoop." "Yeah. That's why we were all so happy when we found out about Kevin. After all, the efforts we made trying to set him up never worked." "You guys tried to set him up with someone?" Eric asked. "Oh yeah. Well, Chris did most of the work, but we were all in on it. The last time we tried turned out terrible....." ********** March 17, 2000. Saint Patrick's Day "When Irish Eyes Are Smiling...." "Joey, if you sing that stupid song one more time, I swear to God I'm gonna scream!" N'Sync was in the middle of making appearances for their "No Strings Attached" tour. The new album had been released a few weeks earlier, and broke all previous sales records. Now, the boys were once again in New York. They had stopped in the studios of MTV earlier in the day to do some promotion, took part in some special events for St. Patrick's Day, and were now getting Lance Bass ready for a date. Looking in the mirror of his hotel room, Lance tied his tie for about the fourth time. Just as he thought he had it right, Joey Fatone broke out into the famous Irish melody, causing more than just a little distraction. It wasn't just the fact that he sang it so many times that day, it was also the fact that he was singing it with that New York-Italian voice of his. That wasn't helping. "Sorry, Lance. Hey, just wait two more days, then it's Saint Joseph's Day....I'll be singing Italian songs then." 'Wonderful,' Lance thought to himself. It was more than the repeated musical selection of Joey Fatone that was bothering him that evening, for once again, his friends in N'Sync had set him up with somebody. True, it was nice that they cared about him, and that they were trying to help, but every effort they made so far had ended up in disaster. Now tonight, they were at it again. "Okay, Allan is going to be here in a few minutes. Nervous?" JC asked. Lance finished his tie and was in the process of buttoning his collar. "Gee, lets' see. Chris found yet another guy that I've never met and am being forced to go out with. What do you think, Josh?" "Aw, come on Scoop. Maybe this time will be different. He sounds really nice," Justin said. "So did all the others. Like the guy who collected moths and mounted them. Or the guy who apparently was the nation's foremost expert on the history of imported cheese....I'm still trying to figure out how Chris found that one.....you sure these guys are all in the music industry?" "Positive." Chris Kirkpatrick entered the room. "How else do you think I'd find them?" "I don't even want to know. And never, ever tell me, okay?" "Have faith, Lance. When have I ever led you wrong?" Chris asked. Lance simply glared at him. "Hmmm. Point taken. Okay, well, this time will be the exception then. Now, he's gonna be downstairs in a little while, and the driver's all set to go. You know what to do if anyone sees you and asks, right?" "I know, I know....someone interviewing for FreeLance. Thanks, mom." "Lance, this is gonna be the one, I can tell. Have a great time, okay?" Joey said. Sighing, Lance draped his jacket over his arm and head to the door. As he was about to open it, he stopped, and turned around, seeing the others looking at him and smiling. "Okay, we need to make a little agreement here. If this one doesn't work out, we put a stop to 'Project Get Lance Laid,' okay?" "Aw, come on Lance. It'll work out. And if it doesn't, then we'll...." Chris was interrupted by Lance. "We'll do nothing. Guys, this is really nice of you, it is. And I appreciate the fact that you're looking out for me. But....if I'm gonna find the right person, I have a feeling it's gonna be on my own, without any help. Okay? I promise to have a good time tonight, and I'm sure this guy is really nice. But, please...no more after tonight, huh?" Smiling, Lance waved and went out the door to the elevator of the hotel. On the way down, he sighed, hoping that what he had just said didn't make his friends mad. He loved them like brothers, but this was getting to be a little much. Yes, he was lonely. Yes, he wanted to have somebody he could hold, and hug, and kiss, and do all of the other things with that happen in a relationship. But, being gay only made it that much more difficult, to say nothing of the fact that he was in the public eye so often. This endless stream of blind dates just wasn't panning out like he and the others had hoped. Reaching the lobby, he stepped out of the elevator, and went to the lounge, where he was greeted by a black haired man, who looked to be a few years older than he was. "Hi, you must be Lance. I'm Allan, nice to meet you." He stood up and stuck out his hand. "Nice to meet you, too. So. Um. Are you hungry? The driver is waiting..." "Sure, lead the way." Walking to the door, Lance started to make some small talk. "So, you're in the music business too?" "Yeah, I'm a studio engineer. It's nice work, but not my true passion." "Oh? What is then?" "Cross breeding and pollenation of plants from the South Pacific." Lance rolled his eyes and groaned to himself as he got into the limousine. 'Here we go again....' ********** "Wait, this guy was into plants?" Eric asked. "Yeah, big time," Justin laughed. "Man, poor Lance! How did Chris find all these guys?" "He said he talked to each one and tried to get to know them first...but I don't think he ever asked about their hobbies." "I'd say so! Well, what happened?" "Well, Lance came back later that night without us knowing....until JC found him...." ********** The sounds of the city drifted up from the street below: horns blaring, people moving about, laughter. In all, a typical night in New York made all the more interesting by the fact that this was the day when everyone was Irish. Lance was on the roof of the hotel on this cool, dark night. Shutting out the sounds, he leaned back and looked up into the night sky, admiring the stars in all their wonder. His date ended some time before. He had the driver take Allan back to his apartment, and then drove around the city in silence for some time. Finally, he returned to the hotel about an hour before. He didn't want to have to face his friends, not yet anyway, so he made some hasty arrangements with the manager on duty, and took a service elevator up to the roof. Here, he could gather his thoughts, and think about things in solitude. This quiet was interrupted by the sound of JC Chasez coming up behind him, holding two bottles of soda. "I thought I'd find you up here," he said, walking over. Turning, Lance saw JC smiling, holding out a Dr. Pepper to him. "Thanks," he said, taking it and twisting off the cap. "So," JC said while sitting down, "how did it go?" "I know now more about flowers on the island of Fiji than I ever did before," Lance said before taking a drink. "Oh, no. Another loser, huh?" "Yeah, you might say that. How did you know I was here, anyway?" "We checked to see if the limo came back, and I called the desk. The manager was very helpful in getting me up here." "I'm sure he was. Remind me to bribe these guys with more money in the future, huh?" JC laughed, but saw that Lance was not joining him in doing so. Instead, he had put down his soda and was staring at his hands. "Lance, what's wrong?" "I'm just....tired of it, Josh. Tired of being alone. It's like....everybody and their brother has a soulmate....why can't I?" He looked up at JC, and a single tear rolled down his cheek. "What's wrong with me? Why can't I find anyone special?" "Aw, Lance...come here buddy." JC wrapped an arm around his friend and pulled him close. "There's nothing wrong with you....you just haven't found the right guy yet. You will, you'll see. It's just gonna take some time, that's all." "I guess," Lance said, sniffing. "Lance, listen. There's an old saying that goes, good things come to those who wait. Now, maybe because you have to wait a little longer, maybe that just means when you do find someone, he's gonna be really spectacular, really good. I'll bet he's out there right now, just waiting for you to find him." Lance looked up at his friend. "You really think so?" "I do. Lance, we weren't meant to go through this world alone. And someday, you're going to find the right guy....and he's going to be the luckiest guy on the planet, because he's gonna have you." "Someday, huh?" "Yeah, someday," JC said softly. He paused for a moment, then continued. "The other guys know you're back...you wanna come in now?" "Yeah. Just give me a minute and I'll be in, okay?" "Okay." JC got up and walked back to the elevator, when Lance's voice stopped him. "Hey, Josh?" "Yeah?" "Thanks." "Anytime. Don't stay out too long, it's getting cooler." "I won't." Lance watched JC get into the elevator, and then he was gone. Sighing, he got to his feet and took another drink of the soda he was brought. He was going to head back himself, when something inside told him to look up. He did so, and what he saw brought a smile to his face. A shooting star. Closing his eyes, he thought for a moment....then made a wish. Opening them back up, he saw the trail heading off on the horizon. "Someday..." he said quietly. He turned, walked over to the elevator, and got in. ********** "....so, Lance came back about five minutes after JC did, and told us about this Allan guy. Turns out that in the time since that happened, he's left music altogether and flew to Samoa to conduct some kind of study out there." "What's he studying?" Eric had come back after refilling their coffee. "Like I know shit about plants?" Justin asked. "Yeah, I see your point. So, basically Lancelot had the worst blind dates in recorded history, huh?" "I would say so....wait, Lancelot?" "Yeah, that's my nickname for him," Eric explained with a smile. "Kevin thought that was his name when he introduced himself the first time." "Lancelot? Where has Kevin been hiding, with King Arthur?" "You'd think so, wouldn't you? Although he has been hiding, in a way. The last boyfriend he had turned out to be a real asshole in the end, so Kev has kind of been in a shell since then." "Why, what did this guy do?" "He got married." "Wow. Found another guy, huh?" "Uh, no. Not quite. Kris, Kevin's ex, married a girl." "Whoa!" "Uh-huh. Yeah, that was a pleasant day when he found out....." ********** Sunday, October 16, 1999. Eric Hagen had just returned from the store a few minutes earlier, having bought the newspaper and some donuts for a quick breakfast, and what he had just read put him into a state of shock. When he came back, he flipped through the pages of the paper aimlessly, scanning over stories of local interest, and was about to take out the sports section, intending on catching up with the scores of the college football games from yesterday afternoon. That's when he saw it out of the corner of his eye. He usually paid little attention to the page that dealt with wedding and engagement announcements, as well as wedding anniversaries. This Sunday morning, however, was different. He read it in disbelief, then read it again to make sure his eyes weren't playing tricks on him. It was, indeed, true, and the picture next to the small write-up only added more damning evidence. There, in black and white, was the news that was going to change a lot of things from now on. Kris Anderson was getting married. Normally, this wouldn't be of any great importance. However, Kris Anderson was the boyfriend of Kevin Douglas, Eric's roommate. More to the point, Kris was getting married to a woman. "Holy shit," he said under his breath. He looked up as he heard Kevin come down the stairs, yawning and scratching his stomach. "Morning, bro," Kevin said. "Hey, are those donuts? Any jelly ones?" "Uhhh...yeah...yeah I think there are," Eric said nervously, trying to tuck the paper away. He did it so fast, that it fell to the floor. Kevin bent over to pick it up, when Eric quickly reached down and snatched it out of his hands. "NO! I mean...uh...no, I wasn't finished with that part yet," Eric tried to explain. "Whoa, take it easy dude. I was just gonna pick it up, that's all. You got the funnies in there?" "Huh? Oh, yeah...I think they're over here someplace..." "Eric?" "Huh?" "You okay?" "Umm....yeah, sure. Why?" "Cause you look like you've just seen a ghost, that's why. Something wrong?" "Ummm...kinda, yeah." Kevin was going to find out sooner or later, so it might was well be now. "Well?" "Well, what?" "What's wrong. E, what happened man?" "Uhh...Kevin. There's...there's something you should read, okay?" With a confused look, Kevin took the section of the paper Eric held out to him. Scanning it quickly, he came across the engagement announcement. His expression turned from confusion, to shock, and back to confusion again. "This....this is a joke, right?" Kevin asked, his voice shaking. "Kev, I..." "I mean....this has gotta be a joke. Like, maybe he did it to get me to laugh or something....or maybe someone put it in there....this....this can't be real, right?" "Kevin...I don't think it's a joke, man..." Kevin got up quickly and began to pace the room. "I mean...why would he put something like that in there...he's...he's going out with me, not a woman....why would...why would he..." "Kevin, calm down, okay? Why don't you sit down and..." "I...I think I better call him. Yeah. Yeah, that's it. I'll call him. I haven't talked to him in a couple of days....he's busy with school you know...." Eric sighed and a sinking feeling came over him. Kevin usually rambled when he was very nervous or scared. And right now, this was the most scared Eric had ever seen him. "Kev, maybe you should wait until we..." But it was too late. Kevin was already in the living room, still pacing, cordless phone next to his ear. Grimacing, Eric tried not to listen in on the one sided conversation. But it wasn't working. "...so I read this in the paper...is it true?......It's what?....It's WHAT?.....SINCE WHEN?.....You're sorry?! I don't think you have any right to be sorry!.....How can you say that!.....How long has this gone on?....Since MARCH!?.....How could you do this to me?!?....No....No, stop saying that.....you have no right to say that!......Why did you do this!?....." Eric saw Kevin's face flush with anger as he stood still in the living room. He wanted to do something, anything....but what? "No...no, stop saying that!....why did you do this?!.....Well, I hope you're going to be very happy, Kris, since I obviously didn't make you.....Fuck you!" Snarling, Kevin disconnected the phone, and paced back and forth, clutching it in his hand all the while. Eric quickly got up and came into the room, stopping as he watched Kevin. "Kev?" "How could he do this? What did I do wrong? I loved him...I tried to make him happy...I did all kinds of things for him..." Kevin said as he walked around the room. "Kevin, listen.." Eric tried again. "I must not have been good enough for him....maybe there was something I couldn't give him...." "Kevin....stop. Just, stop for a minute, okay?" Kevin stood still and looked up at Eric, who was now scared himself. There was fire in Kevin's blue-grey eyes, something he had never seen before. "Kevin...why don't you come and sit down, okay?" No response. Eric could see his friend's knuckles turning white from grabbing the phone so hard. "Kevin?" Suddenly, Kevin pivoted quickly towards the other side of the room, and hurled the phone at the wall. It hit, breaking into several pieces and scattering on the floor. Eric flinched, and realized that this was the angriest he had ever seen his roommate. Even in heated discussions, or on the football field, this was a new level of anger. Kevin stormed up the stairs, slamming his bedroom door, causing the whole house to shake. Eric sighed and shook his head, and went over to pick up what remained of the destroyed phone. After a minute or so, Kevin came down the stairs again. He had put on a pair of blue jeans, a hooded sweatshirt, and his shoes, and was in the process of putting a cap on his head as he rounded the corner for the front door. "Kevin...Kevin, where are you going?" "Out." He slammed the door behind him. Hoping into his jeep, he started the motor, then pulled out of the lot quickly, squealing his tires in the process. ********** "What did he do, go over and beat the shit out of this guy?" Justin was now munching on a strawberry Pop Tart from a box Eric had brought out. "Well, he told me later that he went to Kris' place...but never got out of the jeep. He saw a bunch of cars in the driveway, and I think he realized that going in there and causing a scene wouldn't be such a good thing." "I would have beat the shit out of him." "Yeah, I'm surprised he didn't." "What happened after that?" ********** Morning passed into afternoon. Afternoon to evening. Kevin had not returned. Eric tried in vain to keep calm, running out of the house once to buy a new phone, but then he came back in case Kevin was there. He asked their neighbors, Gina and Sarah, called some mutual friends, called some of Kevin's friends. He was nowhere to be found. Night had fallen, and Eric was genuinely worried now. What if Kevin did something rash? What if he was in an accident. Maybe he should call the police.... He picked up the phone, and was about to dial 911, when the front door opened, and Kevin came in, a blank expression on his face. "God! Kevin, you had me worried sick! Are you okay?" "Fine," he replied, as he kicked off his shoes. "Where have you been all this time?" "Out. Driving around." He stood in the doorway, not moving. "Come here, sit down. Did you eat something?" Kevin walked over and sat down next to Eric on the couch. "I'm not hungry." "Kevin, you should eat something, all you had was half a donut...." "I said I'm not hungry." "...and you need something on your stomach with your meds..." "Eric, I'm not hungry." "....I think we have some soup in the..." "God Damn it Eric, I'm not fucking hungry, okay!?" Eric jumped a little at the harsh tone his friend was using. "Okay," he said softly. Immediately, Kevin realized he was taking it out on his best friend, and he didn't mean to. "I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I didn't mean to yell at you." "It's okay, Kev..." "No. No, it's not okay. Nothing's okay anymore...." His voice trailed off and got smaller. "Kev, don't say that. Everything's going to be alright...." "What is it with me? Why is it everyone I love leaves me. My parents. My grandparents. Now Kris. Am I cursed or something? Did I do something shitty in a past life?" Shaking his head, Eric tried to comfort his friend as best he could. "No..no, Kevin don't say that. Maybe...maybe it just wasn't mean to be, you know? Maybe he wasn't the one." Kevin stared at the floor. "Well, when am I ever going to find the one, Eric? Why does stuff like this have to happen? Why can't I be straight or gay like normal people..." "Kevin, listen. You are normal. So you're bisexual, so what? All that means is that you're more special than everyone else, in a way. And the right person will come along and find you, you'll see. I know it hurts, and this won't be easy....but, Kev....what's done is done." Kevin continued to look at the floor. Suddenly, his lower lip began to quiver. "I really loved him, Eric," he said in a strained voice. Eric could see the tears starting to flow. "I know you did. I know." He reached over and pulled Kevin over, who began to cry openly, burying his face in his friend's shirt, sobbing into it. "Shhhh...it's okay....you're gonna be okay....I'm here for you...." ********** "Wow, so Kev is bi. Lance never told us that." They were back in the kitchen now, Eric washing the dishes. "Well, Kev prefers to keep it kind of quiet, until he gets to know somebody. Once he's pretty good friends with people, he doesn't care if they know." "That's understandable. Well, seems like our boys have had quite a time before they found each other," Justin remarked. "They sure have. But you know, seeing the two of them together made all the waiting worthwhile, I think. I can't remember the last time I saw Kev so happy." "Same thing with Lance. All the way here yesterday, all he talked about was Kevin, and how he sounded when he sings, and what he's studying. That was the happiest I've seen Lance in months, and I know it wasn't just because it was his birthday." The two walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. "You know, Eric, those two are pretty lucky, you know that?" "I think we kinda figured that out by now, don't you?" "Well, other than the fact that they have each other now. No, what I meant was, they have had a pretty good support system. Kevin has you, Lance has the four of us. I think we've helped keep them sane." Eric chuckled. "Well, sometimes I feel like I should get combat pay. But I think I know what you mean. We've been an anchor for the two of them. I don't know about you, but I didn't mind one bit." "Nope, not at all. Hell, I figured it was the least I could do for Lance. Still, it's nice that he has someone now to be his true north. And to love." Eric nodded in agreement. "Exactly. Well, then." He raised his coffee cup in a toast. "Here's to our friends, the lovebirds. May they be each other's anchor...or true north...whatever...for a long time to come...and hopefully, their friends will regain their sanity in the process." Justin laughed and toasted Eric, and took a drink. He put down the cup on the table, and turned to his host. "Speaking of the lovebirds, when do we wake them up?" "No time like the present, huh? You wanna go?" he said, motioning for the stairs. "Hey, it's your house." "You're younger." "You're prettier." Eric waited a moment as Justin smiled. Then, shaking his head, he got up and began to walk up the stairs to attempt and wake up Kevin and Eric. Somehow, he knew this wasn't going to be as easy as it sounded. End of Chapter 10 But Kevin and Lance will return in Chapter 11, coming soon! Stay tuned, and thanks for reading!