Millennium Love Brian - 19

Author's Notes: Remember email is ALWAYS welcome! If you don't know what's going on in this story, read the earlier parts!

Thank you to everyone who has emailed me about this story...especially my regulars!

Legalities: This story is fictitious. It is not meant to imply anything about any of the Backstreet Boys or anyone else. No, I am not Brian Littrell, or Scott Waters. If you're offended, go away. If you're curious, keep reading, you might like it ;-)

Once again, PLEASE let me know what you think at

Thanks for reading.



"So when do we have to go back?" Scott asked from the bed as I put the food on the table. I glanced over at him.

"I told Mom and Kevin we'd be back around lunchtime tomorrow. I want to show you some of the city before we have to leave on Sunday. Is that okay?" I asked.

Scott smiled and climbed out of the bed. He pulled his boxers on before walking over to me. He pulled me to him and wrapped his arms tightly around me. I loved that feeling. "As long as you're with me, I don't care where we are." I felt exactly the same way.

Part 19 - Brian

The next morning, we reluctantly packed everything back up and loaded up the little trailer. I knew neither of us would have objected to staying at the cabin for longer. It was perfect, just my angel and I, away from the pressures of the rest of the world. I could feel the gnawing already beginning in my gut as I thought about Scott leaving the next day.

It didn't take long for us to have everything loaded. We still had a little time but I was doing a last minute check of the trailer when Scott walked up behind me. His strong arms wrapped around my chest. "Hi Love," he whispered in my ear.

I leaned back against his warmth and strength, crossing my arms across his. "Angel," I said softly. It was the only word I needed to say.

"We have some time, and there's something I want to talk to you about," Scott suddenly said.

I immediately turned around within his arms to see his eyes. I wanted to be sure nothing was wrong. True to Scott, he saw my concern and leaned forward to kiss me.

"It's nothing bad, love," he said with a sweet smile and I relaxed.

Grasping Scott's hand, I led him back into the cabin. We walked to the small table and sat down. I waited for Scott to speak.

"You know how we've been emailing each other?" Scott said. I nodded, wondering where this was going. I soon found out. "Well, Kevin and I have been talking on ICQ all this time too." This was a surprise, Kevin usually wasn't good a keeping secrets from me. "Remember how I mentioned that I was changing jobs? The job I'm doing now is developing web sites for companies. It allows me to work from home, or from anywhere, as long as I meet the clients when they want." I listened intently to Scott and quickly realized the benefits of his new job. "Anyway, I mentioned to Kevin, that you guys should each have your own web site so that you can express your individualities. They would be linked to the official BSB site, but would be customized to fit each guy's personality and likes."

I couldn't keep a grin from spreading across my face. I interrupted Scott. "And I know the perfect computer geek to create these web sites!" I said, almost bursting with excitement.

"Hey, who you calling a geek?" Scott protested.

I looked at him as innocently as I could. "Who said I was talking about you?"

Scott reached across the table and grabbed my shirt, pulling me towards him. "You'd better be talking about me!" he said when our faces were mere inches apart.

I just grinned and leaned forward to kiss his nose. "Yeah, you're the only geek I know!" Scott knew he'd walked into that one and admitted defeat. We both laughed.

"Okay, you win! Kevin said he'd talk to the other guys, then we'd put a proposal in to the Firm," Scott told me.

"So how exactly would this work?" I asked seriously, really curious about what this would mean for the two of us.

"Kevin and I thought that I could join up with your tour for a few months. I would spend some time with each guy individually," Scott explained. "Ya know, get to know each one personally, what they like, don't like. Each site will be uniquely Brian, Kevin, Nick, Howie or AJ. What do you think?"

When Scott finished explaining the idea, I walked around the table and pulled him to his feet. "The idea by itself is great, but if it means spending more time with you, then the idea is the best thing I've ever heard!" I told him honestly. This time Scott kissed my nose, making me giggle.

We simply stood there kissing each other, lost in our own little world. The kiss became more intense and I think both of us remembered the previous night's activities. Unfortunately, we didn't have time for a repeat performance. I almost regretted telling Mom that we'd be back for lunch, but there was nothing I could do. We would have to wait to be alone again.

Scott was the one who finally got us moving. "Its time to go love." I really hate that little 'reality check' he has!

I ran my fingers through Scott's hair one more time. I could feel the tremors run through him, but was surprised when he pulled away. "What?" I asked, wondering what I'd done wrong.

Scott moved back to me. "Brian love, you have no idea what it does to me when you run your fingers through my hair. If we want to get back to the house anywhere near on time, I had to pull away," he explained gently. I smiled. I was constantly amazed that I had that strong of an effect on him.

After one final check to make sure no candles or lamps were still burning, I locked the cabin door. We climbed onto the ATV. I closed my eyes for a moment, enjoying the feeling of Scott's arms wrapped tightly around me, before I pulled away from our retreat and headed home.

It took about half an hour to get back to the main house compound. We arrived just in time for lunch.

Unlike the other meals, this day there was only a small group of people: my Mom and Dad, my brother, Kevin, Aunt Ann, Scott and myself.

After lunch, we went in to town. Lexington was my hometown and I wanted to show Scott where I grew up. I borrowed my dad's Explorer for the trip, and once we were both in, I started driving down the long driveway.

Scott reached over and took my free hand in his. It felt to good feeling his warm flesh against mine. "Where are we going love?" Scott asked as he looked over at me. He smiled at my lame disguise of hat and sunglasses. At least it was sunny outside so I didn't look too obvious.

I smiled back at him and he raised my hand to his soft lips to kiss my palm, sending shivers through my body. "I thought I'd give you a driving tour of the city. Show you my old neighborhood, where I went to school, and places I hung out. Is that okay?" I said.

Scott squeezed my hand. "Bri you know damn well that we could go sit in a garbage dump and I'd be happy as long as you were there," he said and I grinned because it was true for both of us.

Scott sat back and enjoyed the ride, looking out the window at the buildings and streets. I started telling him about the town, pointing out buildings where I'd been or with some historical significance. I could keep the excitement out of my voice as I revisited places I hadn't been to in years. Scott kept glancing at me as he heard my excitement. When I finally reached the street and house where I grew up, I stopped the truck. I pointed out the houses where my friends had lived. I even showed him where I'd fallen off my bicycle.

On occasion I couldn't keep the sadness from my voice as I told him about the things I'd missed out doing. Because of my heart problem, as a child my parents became overprotective for a while, preventing me from doing a lot of 'kid' things. I know they were just worried about me, but I could remember my disappointment like it was yesterday. Whenever the sad memories came, Scott squeezed my hand, letting me know he understood, and that he was with me. It helped.

After that, I drove to my old high school. We got out and walked around the deserted building. I stopped in front of one of the windows near the back. "I was in that classroom halfway through my last year when Kev called and asked if I wanted to join the group," I told Scott. I sighed. "I had no idea it would be such a roller coaster."

Scott quickly looked around, then looked back at me, taking my hands in his. I stared into his beautiful eyes. "Do you have any regrets?" he asked me softly.

I thought for a moment, then smiled, shaking my head. I tried to explain. "At times, while the bad stuff was going on, I often wondered why I, why we as a group were putting ourselves through it; the loss of privacy, the politics of the business. But then we would go on stage and the fans helped make it right." I squeezed Scott's hands and looked at him intently as I continued. "Now though, if I had to do it all again, I wouldn't change a single thing, because that single thing might stop me from meeting you." My voice dropped to a whisper as the thought of never having met him, my Angel, overwhelmed me. I blinked back the tears.

Scott freed one of his hands from my grasp and raised it to my cheek. "I cannot imagine my life without you in it, love. I look back and wonder how I lived not knowing you. I guess I wasn't really living, I was just waiting for you to come along and bring me wholly into this world."

I could hear the emotions in his voice. By that point we both had tears streaming down our cheeks. Scott took another quick glance around then pulled me to his chest. I reveled in it and held him tightly. We simply stood there, hugging each other, lost in our thoughts. Finally I pulled back and looked up into his incredible face. I smiled and wiped the streaks from his cheeks. He did the same for me.

"Come on," I said to him as I pulled him along. "I didn't bring you out here for us to get all sappy. I want to show you the mall. Maybe we can catch a movie." We walked around the school and back to the truck.

I climbed into the driver's seat and Scott beside me. Once I started driving again, Scott reached over and held my hand again. It was a short drive to the mall. I pulled into the parking lot and parked the truck. Scott began to open the door and I reached over to stop him.

He turned to look at me and I pulled his face down to mine. "I won't be able to do this in there, or even really touch you, so..." Our lips met as I leaned forward to kiss him. I savored the taste of his lips as I gently moved my mouth over his. After a too brief kiss, I pulled back and smiled at him. "That will have to hold you until we get back home, angel."

Scott suddenly put on a 'poor me' face. "One more. Please?" he quietly pleaded. How could I refuse him? I could have just stayed in the truck and kissed him all afternoon. So one more wouldn't hurt. I leaned towards him. "One more," I whispered to him. Suddenly Scott threw his arms around me and pulled me against him as he kissed me passionately. I was bewildered, but automatically responded to his increasing passion. A few minutes later we separated.

I was breathing hard and could feel the heat in my face. I simply stared at my Angel, ravaging him with my eyes. Scott, the little shit, just grinned at me and opened the door. "Let's go love," he said as he climbed out.

I remained sitting in the truck trying to compose myself and calm my very aroused body. It was about a minute later that I finally got out and walked around the truck. "You'll pay for that Angel," I murmured as I walked by and headed for the nearest entrance.

Scott just laughed and trotted after me. I kept walking, knowing that if I turned to look at him we wouldn't make it into the mall.

"So where are we going?" Scott asked as we walked into the building.

I finally looked at him. "I thought we could just wander around. If we see a store we want to look at, we can. I don't really get much free time to just wander and browse when we're on tour," I explained. Scott smiled in agreement.

Almost two hours later we approached the Gap. "Scott, do you mind if we stop here?" I asked. "I thought we'd go grab some dinner after then maybe see a movie?" I waited for Scott's response.

Scott was carrying all the parcels. I couldn't help myself. As we shopped I kept seeing things that I thought would look perfect on Scott. So I bought them. I didn't listen when he told me to stop. It was my money, so I'd spend it on whomever I wanted. Finally he had stopped arguing. Now he was looking at me as we stood outside the Gap.

"Sounds good, Bri," he said. It had been hard not calling him Angel during the day, but we knew we had to be careful. "On one condition," he said. I waited to see what he would come up with. "Whatever we buy in here, I pay for," he said seriously. Damn, he was as stubborn as I was.

Scott tried to explain. He pulled me over the wall away from pedestrian traffic. "Brian, I love you and I love that you want to buy things for me," he began. "But I make a good living with my job and I want this relationship to be completely equal. I don't want you to stop being you, you're so sweet and giving, but you have to let me be giving to you too." I knew I wasn't going to win this argument with him. And I really didn't want to fight. So I gave in.

I looked at him and smiled. "Okay, angel," I said softly, "I'll let you buy." I turned to walk into the store, then turned back to him. "By the way, did you know the Gap is my favorite store?" I asked before entering. If he wanted to pay, I wanted him to know he was 'really' going to pay. It was a small victory, but it was a pride thing.

Scott followed meekly behind me as I began pulling clothes off the shelves and racks. Once I had about three pairs of pants and a half dozen shirts I walked back to the change rooms. "I'm gonna try this stuff on Scott. Be right back," I told him as I walked into the hall and to a cubicle.

I set the clothes down on the little bench. Quickly I stripped out of my jeans and pulled on a pair of cargo pants and a shirt. I glanced in the mirror. 'Not bad.' I thought, but I wanted Scott's opinion. I opened the door and walked out to the front of the change rooms. I looked around for Scott.

"Brian?" a female voice said behind me. I quickly turned around to see who had recognized me.

"Um...Nora! Hi!" I couldn't believe it, it was the girl who had given me her plane ticket. I forced myself not to look around for Scott, and quashed the sudden surge of panic. "So did you get my thank you note and the cheque?" I asked her casually.

She smiled brightly and nodded. She was actually a pretty girl and if I was straight, probably my type. "I did. Thank you Brian. The note was really sweet and I'm looking forward to the concert, whenever it is."

I smiled back at her, grateful that she wasn't a hysterical fan. "I think we're performing on the 30th and 31st of December actually," I told her. I was standing next to a long mirror and glanced at my reflection before looking back at Nora.

I suddenly heard Scott's voice from behind me. "Looking good, Bri," he said as he walked up.

I knew he hadn't seen me talking to Nora, and had only noticed her after he spoke. I glanced at him quickly; momentarily afraid of what he was thinking. He looked a little confused and I calmed down and smiled. I introduced him to Nora. "Scott, this is Nora," Brian introduced me. "Nora, this is my friend Scott."

Scott walked up to her and shook her hand. "Nice to meet you Nora," he said sincerely.

I wasn't sure how to explain one person to the other. It was awkward and Scott looked at me curiously. I decided to tell Scott about Nora. "Um, I didn't tell you Scott, how I managed to get on an early flight home. Did I?"

Scott shook his head. "Well, Nora saw me sitting in the airport and after we talked for a while she turned her ticket in at the standby desk, asking them to give it to me," I explained.

Scott looked surprised and glanced at Nora with a smile. "Wow! That was a really generous thing to do Nora."

Nora just shrugged, and blushed slightly. "No big deal," she said. "I guess we should change huh?" She said to me. "We're kinda holding up a couple of change rooms." I nodded in agreement.

As we walked back into the hall Nora turned to look at me. She was staring at me intently, but smiling too.

Before walking into the ladies section, she spoke. "I'd say he was definitely worth it Brian."

I instantly had flashbacks to the day Scott and I played basketball with his friends, and the one had called me B-Rok. I slowly looked up at Nora. I feigned confusion. "Sorry? What are you talking about?" I asked, silently praying that I misheard her.

She kept smiling gently. "I said he was worth rushing home for, and I'm happy I was able to help."

All I could do was stare at her. She saw my expression and walked over to me. "Don't worry about it Brian. I've always been very good at sensing people's feelings and reading body language. I have no interest in turning this into a story for the press."

I looked at her closely and couldn't see any hidden agenda in her face. Finally, I sighed. "Thank you Nora," I said quietly. "Listen, we were just going to get some dinner after this, would you like to join us?" I asked suddenly. I wasn't sure why I invited her. Maybe to get to know her a little better, to see if she was genuine. It was so hard to judge people, but I had a feeling about her, and her sincerity. I didn't think she would hurt me or Scott and I wanted to show my appreciation to her.

Nora shook her head. "No, I don't want to intrude. I'm sure you'd rather be alone with Scott."

I smiled. "Actually, you wouldn't be intruding. We'll be eating in a public place and having someone else with us will make sure we behave," I grinned. "You'd be doing us a favor, Nora."

She thought about it for a moment. "Lets get changed, and you can ask Scott first okay?"

I nodded my agreement and walked back to my cubicle to change into my own clothes. I'd only tried on the one outfit, but grabbed another pair of pants and another shirt before going back out to the store.

Scott was sitting in one of the chairs next to the mirrors and stood up as I approached. He smiled as he saw the bunch clothes I was carrying.

"So decided to make me pay after all?" he joked as he took the clothes from me.

I tried to smile back, but only managed one of my fake smiles. I was feeling queasy from the thought that my feelings were so obvious a practical stranger could read them. Scott immediately knew the smile was fake. He grabbed my arm.

"What's wrong?" he asked quietly.

I sighed and looked at my Angel. He deserved better. "Sorry Scott," I apologized. "Nora knows about us," I whispered, telling him the whole story.

Scott looked stunned but didn't say anything. What could he say? I continued. "I asked her to join us for dinner." I finally looked up at him. "I hope that's okay. I don't think she's going to tell anyone. But I thought it wouldn't hurt to get to know her a little better..." I let my voice trail off and waited for a response from Scott. I hated having to live in fear.

Scott closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them, giving me one of his brilliant smiles. He nodded. "That sounds like a good idea. She sounds like a remarkable girl if she's willing to give up her plane ticket for a stranger." He leaned a little closer to me and dropped his voice. "Albeit, a cute stranger," he said. I couldn't help but smile. I was happy that Scott was okay with everything. "I'll go pay for this stuff," he said, indicating the clothes I'd picked out. "You wait for Nora, okay?"

I nodded. "Thanks angel," I whispered as I walked back to the change rooms to wait for Nora.

She appeared a minute later and smiled at me.

I returned the smile. "I talked to Scott, Nora," I said. "He'd like you to join us for dinner too. So will you?" I waited for her reply.

She nodded. "How can I say no to having dinner with Brian Littrell?"

She squealed my name like one of the little girls and I winced. Then I grinned as she laughed. "Sorry Brian, couldn't resist. Seriously, I'd have to be crazy to refuse an offer to join two hot looking men for dinner." She began to walk to the cash. "Course, it would be even better if I had even a remote shot at one of you," she sighed dramatically. "But I guess dinner will have to be enough."

I was really starting to like her. I followed her to the cash while she paid for her clothes. I saw Scott standing by the exit, holding all the shopping bags.

We walked over to join Scott.

"Hi Scott," Nora said shyly. "Are you sure its okay if I join you two for dinner?" she asked hesitantly.

Scott smiled and nodded. "Of course, Nora," he said. There was an awkward pause until Scott spoke again. "Having a lady present should make Brian mind his manners," he said, trying not to grin. "Or at least prevent him from starting a food fight."

"Hey!" I protested. Nora and Scott laughed and I had to join in. I was relieved everyone was getting along. We walked through the mall to one of the restaurants.

The three of us were quickly seated and opened our menus. I decided that I liked Nora. She was very direct and open. There was nothing false about her. She answered the questions Scott and I threw at her. We found out she a born and raised Kentuckian, but move to Florida to go to college. She was eighteen, and taking business and computer courses.

I sat back and enjoyed the meal, sneaking glances over at my Angel. I found he was doing the same. It was nice to just be together, near to him so I could see his smile and hear him talk.

Scott finally asked us about how we met at the airport. I began telling the story. "I got to the airport and knew I wouldn't get on a flight. It's the holiday and everything is always booked. I decided I'd get put on standby because I was determined to get here that day, no matter what," I said.

Then Nora took over. "I was waiting for my flight and I saw this guy sitting there, looking very sad and alone. It took me a minute before I recognized him, and even then, I wasn't sure. I walked up to him and asked." Nora looked at me with a smile. "Ya know, a lot of celebrities would have just told me to get lost, especially because you weren't in a good mood." Nora turned her head to look at Scott. "He didn't though. He put aside his feelings, and talked to me and signed an autograph. I thought it was really sweet." She shrugged. "I knew my family wasn't having their family dinner until yesterday, so I knew I could arrive a day late."

Scott smiled at her. "Well, I think it was incredibly generous. Not many people would do that, especially for someone who's famous." I nodded in complete agreement.

"I know. It's sort of like how you and I met Scott," I interjected.

Nora looked at us curiously, so I told her that story. "I was shopping and a mob of teenage girls saw me. They started chasing me through the streets. I was hiding beside a car, when this driver opened his window and offered me a way out. It wasn't much of a choice, a mob of fifty teenage girls or one quiet, cute man." Scott immediately blushed at the compliment and Nora noticed.

She looked over at me. "He do that often?" She asked, glancing back at Scott. I couldn't help but laugh as I nodded. He was so adorable when he blushed.

Dinner went quickly as the three of us talked about different things from computers to music to Florida. Nora finally glanced at her watch.

"Guys, I really have to go," she said as she pulled out her wallet. Scott and I both stopped her.

"No way, Nora. This is our treat," I said firmly. Nora protested, but we won. Scott pulled out his wallet and took out one of his business cards.

"Nora, I really enjoyed talking to you and would like to keep in touch with you, if you want," he said sincerely. I was glad that he had accepted Nora as a friend. We both felt very comfortable with her.

Nora smiled and accepted the card. "I'd like that Scott. I really had a good time talking to you both. I hope things work out for you," she said.

I smiled broadly. "I think it will. We'll see you at the concert at New Years though. I did promise you tickets and I keep my promises. I have your address in O, so you'll be hearing from me again," I promised. I too had few good friends, and thought Nora would be a good addition.

Nora stood and picked up her purse and parcels. "Okay Brian. I'm looking forward to the concert. And I hope you do look me up when we're back in Florida. I'll talk to you both again." Nora leaned forward and kissed me on the cheek, then moved around to kiss Scott. "You guys are cute together," she said quietly before walking away.

Scott and I watched as Nora left the restaurant. I glanced at Scott as I realized I had some explaining to do.

"I like her," he said quietly.

I was silent for a moment. "Are you angry with me?" I finally asked, unsure what Scott was thinking.

Scott shook my head. "Of course not. Love," he murmured. "But why didn't you tell me about it?" he asked curiously.

I shrugged and tried to explain. "I don't know. I guess that at the time I had other things, like you, on my mind. It didn't seem that important." I paused. "I sent her a note with a cheque and flowers, and figured that was the end of it. I'm glad we ran into her though. I like her too."

Scott smiled at me. "So are we going to see a movie or what?" he asked. Before I even realized it, the waiter put the bill on the table and Scott grabbed it. I gave him a dirty look. A lot of good that did; he just laughed at me.

"Fine," I said pretending to sulk. I thought about Scott's earlier question. I didn't really want to see a movie. I wanted to spend more time alone with Scott. "I think we'll pass on the movie Scott. I have a better idea," I said mysteriously.

Scott paid the bill and we quickly left. As we walked back through the mall, I thought about what had happened. It scared me that someone, a practical stranger could read me, like Nora had. I knew that Nora was a friend and wouldn't say anything...but what about the next person. I knew it was going to be difficult, having a relationship but I hadn't realized that it would be frightening too. We reached the Explorer and threw the bags into the back before climbing in.

I felt desperation as we got in and before Scott could completely close the door, I pulled him over to me and kissed him passionately and urgently. I needed to feel his lips on mine.

I finally broke the kiss and we were both weak from passion. Scott simply stared at me trying to compose himself. "WOW!" he managed to breathe out.

I grinned. "Do you know how hard it was not doing that all afternoon?" I asked, wondering if he really did.

Scott reached over and took my hand, entwining our fingers. "Yeah!" he murmured as he raised my fingers to his soft lips and kissed each one of them. "So are we staying here all night?" he asked.

As I started the truck, I felt my fears resurface. "I had thought we'd do something, but would you mind if we just went home?" I said quietly.

I knew Scott must have noticed the change in my voice, but he didn't say anything. Instead, he just held my hand tighter. "I like that idea, Love. We can just go home, curl up in bed together and do or watch a movie, or other things," he said tenderly.

I pulled out of the parking lot and began the drive back to the ranch.

Scott didn't ask me what was wrong. He simply held my hand and watched the scenery. I loved him more for letting me try to sort out my thoughts. I'd had the fear before, when we played basketball with Scott's friends. But it kept coming back, and this time it was worse. And the fact that Scott would be leaving again didn't help. He had turned my world upside down in the nearly two months I'd known him.

I hadn't resolved anything in my mind by the time I pulled into the driveway. I drove right up and into the garage. I turned of the engine and sat there for a moment. Scott waited. "You're leaving tomorrow, Angel," I said softly.

I know I was stating the obvious, but I didn't know what else to say. I was afraid to try to explain everything to him. Scott turned to look at me. "Brian," he said so tenderly.

I couldn't stop the tears from welling up. My pent up emotions finally burst out. "I hate it!" I said suddenly. Scott didn't say anything and I continued. "I hate that you're leaving tomorrow. I hate that my job keeps us apart. I hate that I have to hide to the world who I am. I hate that I have to hide who I love. I hate that much of society thinks we're sick for loving each other. I hate that I have to watch every little thing I say or do in case someone figures it out." I had to pause for air. If I'd been thinking rationally, I would have thought about what I was saying. But I didn't. The next statement came out before I realized it. "And I hate that finding you has made me hate."


It's not really a it?