Millennium Love Brian 44

I nibbled on his tasty ear. "I think that can be arranged," I murmured.

We finished our drinks quickly then rose. Marcus and Tom followed. This time we left through the front doors. It was great to be out in the fresh air and I realized just how hot and smoky the club had been. The four of us walked to a nearby parking lot where Marcus and Tom had parked. We headed back to the hotel, tired but happy. I looked forward to a more intimate party with Scott, in our bed.

After Scott had fallen asleep in the early morning hours, I lay quietly beside him, thinking about our future. Now that we were back together and stronger than ever, I wanted more than just going public. I wanted a private declaration, a wedding, in a way. I knew Scott would like the idea, or at least I hoped. As I drifted to sleep I began to formulate a plan for us to take vows, declaring our love and commitment to each other.

It was rough the next morning as Scott and I forced ourselves to get up, throw some clothes on and stagger out to the bus. We had got back from the club at a decent time, but spent much of the rest of the night, making love. Once on the bus, we collapsed onto my bunk and fell asleep for a few extra hours of rest.

When I finally woke, I felt Scott move beside me, so when I opened my eyes, he was looking down at me with emerald eyes.

"Hi," he whispered.

I smiled, my heart fluttering at the look of absolute love in his eyes. "Hi," I murmured back. He leaned down to kiss me. I would never get enough of kissing him. "Mmmm… that's nice," I whispered. "Do we have to get up?" I asked, stroking his cheek with my fingers.

Scott smiled. "Don't know. How long have we been sleeping?" he asked quietly.

I glanced at my watch and made a face. "Its after one. I wonder if the bus has already stopped for lunch?"

Neither of us had eaten since dinner at the restaurant the night before. I knew I was hungry so I imagined Scott was too, especially after the exercise we got when we returned to the hotel from the club.

Scott leaned down to kiss me again. "Guess we better get up and find out, huh?"

I reluctantly agreed. We rolled off the bunk and walked to the back lounge, looking for the rest of the guys.

We found them. Kevin was reading, Nick was drawing, and Howie and AJ were watching a movie.

"Hey," Scott and I greeted them.

The guys looked up. "Finally! Now can we stop for lunch?" AJ asked, looking at Kevin.

Scott and I looked at each other and laughed. "Guess that answers our question," I commented. I flopped down on one of the couches and Scott sat down beside me.

Kevin stood. "I'll go talk to the driver about finding a place to stop, okay?" We all agreed and Kevin left.

"So you guys have a good time last night?" Nick asked, looking up from his drawing.

Scott smiled. "We had a great time Nick."

"So I heard," he commented dryly.

Scott blushed. I'd forgotten that Nick's room was right next to ours.

I just laughed. "Well, I hope it was as good for you as it was for me," I said. Nick threw a pillow at me. "Seriously Nick, thanks for the help keeping Scott busy while I got everything set up. It was really a wonderful night and we had a lot of fun," I said honestly.

Nick just shrugged in that way he has. "No problem. Just remind me not to take the room beside you next time," he added.

We all laughed.

We noticed a change in the motion of the bus and decided to move to the front lounge to see where we were going. The bus was pulling off the highway into a restaurant parking lot. It was decided that Scott, Marcus and a couple of the dancers would go get takeout for everyone.

Scott gave me a kiss, wrote down all the orders, and then headed into the fast food place. While he was gone, I thought more about my plan. Our break started on the 19^th. Scott and I were planning on looking at and buying a new condo in Orlando, but we hadn't made any plans for Christmas. Christmas would be a perfect time for declaring our love before family and friends.

Somehow I'd have to arrange for Scott's family to come to Kentucky for the holiday. But first I would have to check with my Mom. She had been great about accepting my sexuality and accepting Scott, but I wondered what she would think about us basically getting married even though the church and state wouldn't recognize it. I thought about talking to the guys, but decided to wait until I'd spoken to Mom.

Despite the 'fast food' name, it took about half an hour for them to get all the food we ordered. Everyone was obviously hungry. Scott returned with the food for the driver and us. I grinned as the guys dove for the bags, tearing them out of Scott's hands. Fortunately he managed to hang onto the food for him and I.

I was smiling at him happily as we walked to the back lounge. We sat down and ate in peace.

A short while later the bus began to move again. We passed the rest of the trip talking with everyone, playing games and watching TV. We arrived late in the day and simply crashed at the hotel. Despite having done nothing but ride a bus all day, we were all exhausted.

The next afternoon, we headed out to rehearsal and Scott decided to stay at the hotel and do some work. I decided it was a good time to call home.

"Hello?"

"Hi Mom," I greeted her.

"Brian, dear! How are you?" she asked, obviously pleased to hear from me.

"I'm fine Mom. Everything is going great," I added.

"And things with Scott?" she asked hesitantly. I hadn't told her much about our reunion.

"Mom, things have never been better," I told her truthfully. "That's partly why I'm calling."

"Oh?"

"Scott and I have never been closer, or more committed to each other. And I was thinking I would like to have a ceremony, a commitment ceremony, with friends and family, where we can declare our love before all," I said. I noticed the limo had fallen silent as I talked, but I didn't pay attention to the other guys. I waited for my Mom's reaction.

"You mean like a wedding?" she asked hesitantly.

I sighed. "I guess. I mean, I know that the church and government won't recognize it, but I would hope our friends and family would consider us married," I said. "I mean, ideally I would like a minister or some church representative to conduct the ceremony, but I'm trying to be realistic," I admitted.

"It's a beautiful idea Brian," she said gently. "And you wanted to hold it here?" she asked.

"I was hoping," I admitted.

"When?"

"Well, I was thinking Christmas Eve might be appropriate," I told her.

"What can I do to help?" she asked.

I noticed we had arrived at the arena. "I have to get to rehearsal right now, Mom. Can I call you back later and we can talk about it some more?" I asked.

"Of course Brian," she said.

"Oh! One more thing! I want this to be a surprise for Scott. So if you call me and get him, don't' tell him," I added.

"Alright Brian. I'll talk to you later Honey," she said.

"Bye Mom," I said and shut the phone off.

I looked at the guys who were all staring at me. "What?" I asked.

Kevin grinned. "You are one romantic sap aren't you?" he commented as we got out of the limo and headed into the arena.

I shrugged. "Guess so. So what do you think of my idea?" I asked, looking around at them.

Nick walked over and put his arm around my shoulders. "Well, since Scott is just as big of a romantic sap, I'm sure he'll love it. Are we invited?"

I looked at him in surprise. "Of course! All of you are, and your SOs." I looked at Kevin. "It would be a perfect time for you and Sheri to introduce each other to your families," I suggested.

Kevin looked thoughtful. "That's true. Let me know if I can help you with anything," he added.

The discussion ended as we reached the stage and got to work.

The concert in Tulsa went great. We were more hyper than ever. It seemed the closer we got to the six week break, the more hyped we got and the concerts became better.

Once on the bus that night, the guys and I quickly crashed on our bunks. We would be driving all night, and with a concert the next night, we needed all the sleep we could get. I don't remember hearing Scott come to bed, but when I woke up he was wrapped around me, holding me close.

When we went to rehearsal later that day, Scott stayed on the bus to work and book us a hotel near the airport. I took the opportunity to call my Mom again. She told me she would take care of food and decorations, and she also said she had emailed me a picture of something.

I didn't have time to check my email until right before the concert. When I saw the pictures of the rings, I was surprised and happy at how well my Mom knew, not only me, but also Scott and I as a couple. The rings were shown together, which illustrated the yin and yang symbols. Apart, the rings looked like they were simple loops with a gemstone. I took the opportunity to call Mom and ask her if she could order the rings for me. I gave her the sizes and colors I'd selected. I'd decided on yellow gold with emeralds. She was pleased that she'd been able to help.

Our flight from Denver was delayed by snow, but we finally managed to get off the ground, headed for Toronto. I was exhausted after the two concerts back to back, with little real sleep in between, so I slept on the flight.

The trip took about 4 hours and I was relieved when we landed. I had wakened about half an hour before landing but was groggy.

"Let's go Love," Scott said quietly as he stood to grab our carry-on bags from the overhead compartment.

I smiled up at him and but couldn't stifle a yawn. "I think when this month is over, I'm going to sleep for at least four of our six weeks off," I commented.

Scott looked around the nearly empty first class section and leaned closer. "You don't really want to do that. Just think of all the fun that you'd miss," he leered and tried to wiggle his eyebrows.

I laughed and grabbed my overnight bag from him. We quickly walked off the plane and made it through customs. It didn't take long to spot Drew waiting for us. The advantage of having a tall, read-headed friend.

"Hey Drew," Scott greeted him, pulling him into a hug.

"Hiya Scott," he said, kissing Scott's cheek. Then he turned to me and pulled me into a hug. "Hey Brian, good to see you," he said.

I smiled. "Nice to see you too, Drew." I was glad I never felt jealous of Scott's past with Drew, because Drew was a really great guy, and I knew AJ loved him.

We quickly walked out to Drew's car and got in.

"Sorry I missed your birthday, Scott," Drew commented. "I heard it was interesting," he added as we pulled onto the highway.

Scott looked over at me and grinned. "That it was." It was the only comment Scott made. It didn't take long to get to Drew's place, where Scott's car was. He had found it was easy when he was flying back and forth to leave the car at Drew's since it was so close to the airport.

Since our flight had been delayed, we didn't have time to stay and chat with Drew, but Scott promised to call him the next day. I reminded myself I would have to call him at some point too, to invite him to Kentucky for Christmas. As we drove, I started to remember the reason for our visit. Bad idea! Once I started thinking about it, I started to get nervous. We drove out of the city towards Scott's house. We would have only enough time to shower and change before we had to drive to his parents'. It was plenty of time to worry though.

Scott obviously noticed my mood change as he reached over and picked up my hand. He looked over and I smiled in gratitude. I appreciated his support. We drove in silence the rest of the way. At the house, we dumped our bags on the bed and stripped before walking into the bathroom. We really didn't have time for messing around, but Scott took the time to gently wash me all over. It helped relax me for a little while.

We both dressed in dockers, and I wore a deep red sweater on top, while Scott put on a button-down shirt. Before we left, Scott pulled me into a hug.

"Everything will be fine, Love," he murmured, nibbling on my ear.

I sighed deeply. "I hope so," I whispered.

As we pulled into the driveway Scott glanced at me and turned off the car. He reached over and picked up my hand again. I looked at our entwined fingers then up to meet his eyes, giving him an attempt at a smile. Scott leaned over to kiss my cheek.

“It's going to be okay,” he said again softly.

I squeezed his fingers. “I know, Angel,” I said quietly and looked up at the house. “I just don't want them to hate me or, worse, start to hate you when the media attention hits,” I murmured. Things had not been great between Scott's Dad, brother and myself. I didn't want this to make things worse.

I wasn't saying anything Scott hadn't heard before. We'd talked about it before, but it didn't help me now. Scott squeezed my fingers in response. “Come on, Love. No sense putting it off,” he said and released my hand as he opened the door.

I sat for a moment then reluctantly opened the door and got out of the car. We met at the hood and Scott instantly reached over for my hand as we walked along the cement walk up to the front door.

Scott's Mom, Louise, met us at the door.

“Hi boys, come on in,” she greeted us with a smile. Scott hung up his coat in the front closet and then gave her a hug.

“Hi Mom,” he said as he kissed her cheek.

Scott turned to me as I slowly removed my coat. My anxiety continued as I thought about bringing his 'normal', hardworking family to the attention of the media. It would be wild for them, but I silently prayed it wouldn't destroy the family in the end. Scott took my coat and put it on a hanger while I turned to his Mom.

“Hi Louise,” I said quietly with a slight smile.

Louise smiled and pulled me into a hug. “Good to see you Brian,” she said sincerely. I smiled. Scott took my hand when the hug ended. Louise turned back to the living room. “Everybody else is already here,” she mentioned as we followed her into the room.

My grip tightened on Scott's hand as I saw everyone who was there. Scott squeezed back to try to calm me. I smiled at everyone in the room, Sheri, Liz and Denis, Charlie and Carrie, Scott's two aunts and uncles, and his Dad. We had all thought Andre was too young so he was playing at a neighbor's. I was glad his immediate family was small compared to mine. Everyone was looking at us expectantly. Scott walked over to the vacant loveseat and pulled me down beside him.

“I guess you all know why we're here?” Scott started. Most of them nodded. Scott moved our clasped hands to his thigh and massaged my fingers with his thumb. “Well, just to make sure, Brian and I want to go public. We don't want to hide our relationship any more.”

“Why?” one of his Aunts asked. “I mean you are together, why do you want the public to know and judge you?”

I was grateful that the question was simple curiosity and not accusing. Scott turned to me. “By the way Brian, you haven't actually met my Aunt Marie and Uncle Greg before, have you?” he said to me. I shook my head.

I smiled shyly as his aunt and uncle leaned forward to shake my hand. “Nice to meet you Brian,” Greg said.

“Thank you,” I replied. “I think I can answer your question Marie,” I added. “Over two months ago I nearly lost Scott because I was afraid. Scott is proud of who he is, as he should be. I've always had a more difficult time accepting myself. Even after recognizing that I was gay, I feared losing my family. Fortunately that didn't happen. But the fear never went away. I feared the public finding out, ruining my career and my friends' careers. I didn't want that responsibility. But when Scott left me, I realized that none of that mattered if I was alone. In an ideal world it wouldn't matter to the public or the fans who I love. Or if it did, it would simply be a little piece in the gossip columns; if I were in love with a woman, that's all it would be. I don't want the public to know. Not because I'm ashamed, but because it isn't their business. I simply want to be able to go out to a restaurant for a romantic dinner with the person, the man, that I love and show that love to him. I want to be able to walk through the park and hold his hand. Unfortunately, I recognize the real world. The moment we do that, the media will be like blood hounds, trying to dig up anything they can find.” I paused and looked at Scott. He was staring at me with tears in his eyes. I hadn't really thought about what I would say, but how could I not try to relay the depths of my feelings for this man beside me?

I looked back to Scott's family. “We can't control the media. You have all seen what the press can do to celebrities. But I'm tired of letting them control my life. I love Scott more than anything or anyone. It's taken me a while to realize that, but its true. I don't want to hide him like a dirty secret. And I shouldn't have to. But Scott and I both love our families. We know that when the media find out, it won't just be us that are hounded. The press will try to talk to you and photograph you. We will do what we can to keep that from happening, keep the focus on us, but we can't promise anything. That's why we wanted to talk to all of you. I've already talked to my family. My immediate family is somewhat used to the press because of Kevin and myself. But I wanted to talk to everyone.”

I paused again, unsure of what else to say.

“So what did your family think about this?” Charlie asked.

Scott decided to answer his brother. “They had some questions about what they could expect,” he told his brother. “Things like the media following them, or asking questions at their workplace. We know it may not be pleasant at first. But Brian and I are planning to be as open with the media as we can, and hopefully keep the pressure away. However, you may have to get used to reading and hearing total lies about us. You know the trash magazines will pump out all kinds of garbage. You may find that people you think are friends aren't so friendly when they discover you have a gay brother dating a male singer. I hope that doesn't happen. But it could.” he looked at me. “What else?” he asked trying to remember.

I frowned. “Hate mail. You may get nasty mail if people know you're related to Scott.”

“These are all the worse case things we can think of,” Scott added quickly. “Most things will just be annoying, like people asking for money thinking you have access to Brian's funds, or people making rude comments.” He shrugged. “I don't know what else to tell you. We really don't know what will happen until we come out.”

Everyone was quiet for a moment. “That still doesn't really answer Charlie's question,” Scott's Dad suddenly said. “What does your family think Brian?”

I could tell he still had some unresolved issues with me but it wasn't the time to deal with them. I looked directly at him. “The bottom line was that they are my family and will love me no matter what I decide. The choice is mine…ours,” I amended as I lifted our entwined hands to my lips to kiss Scott's fingers. He smiled at me.

“What about the guys in the group?” Carrie asked.

I smiled to myself, thinking about the guys. “They are behind us 100%. We have been together for seven years. All of us have other projects in the wings. We don't want Backstreet to end, but if it does, it does. They are my brothers and want me to be happy.”

“What about you Scott?” Liz asked her brother, and he looked at her in confusion. “Are you prepared to face the constant harassment of the media, and fans? You know fans will blame you if the group disbands. The religious fanatics will probably blame you for corrupting a 'good southern boy'”, she said.

I hated to admit that everything she said was true. But Scott and I had talked it through, numerous times. “You're right Liz. I know people will blame me and hate me. Brian and I have talked about all of this, over and over again. But it's worth it. In the end, it will eventually die out and Brian and I will be able to go on with our lives.”

"We're actually planning on taking the offensive," I added. "We have scheduled an exclusive interview with Oprah Winfrey near the end of the month, that should air New Year's Eve."

"Why New Years?" Louise asked.

"That's the night we plan to be seen in public as a couple for the first time," I replied.

There were a few more questions, but the toughs ones had been answered, apparently to everyone's satisfaction.

"Well, I think we've talked enough," Louise finally announced. "Dinner should be ready in a couple of minutes," she said as she rose and went to the kitchen. Scott decided to go help his mother, leaving me with his family.

Fortunately Sheri jumped up and sat down beside me. I smiled at her. "I have a favor to ask," I said quietly, not wanting Scott to overhear.

"Sure," she said.

"If I don't get a chance to ask the others, will you let everyone know about the plans for Christmas Eve?" I asked, knowing that Kevin had told her.

"Okay," she said with a nod. "I haven't mentioned it to anyone else yet, but when you two leave, I'll tell everyone. I think it's a great idea and I know Scott will love it!"

I grinned. "Thanks Sheri," I said sincerely.

We talked for a couple of more minutes until Scott came out to tell everyone dinner was ready.

The rest of the evening was enjoyable. Louise had a birthday cake for dessert and a card that everyone had signed for Scott's birthday. I could tell he was pleased. Scott and I talked about our plans to move and how we were looking forward to spending a few weeks alone in the New Year. After dinner I insisted on helping Louise with dishes so I could talk to her about Christmas.

"Louise, what do you think about gay marriages?" I asked her suddenly as she handed me a plate to dry.

She stopped moving and looked at me in surprise. "That's quite the conversation starter," she commented. She started to wash another dish. "Why do you ask?"

I took the dish from her. "I was planning a surprise for Scott. I want for us to declare our commitment to each other in front of friends and family," I explained. "I know we can't legally get married, but I would hope that those close to use would still recognize us as such."

She was quiet for a moment. "When were you planning this for?" she asked.

"I was thinking about Christmas Eve. So I wanted to invite all of you to come to Kentucky," I replied.

She smiled. "I think that could be arranged Brian," she said sincerely. "And I think Scott will be surprised, yet I know he will love it."

"Great! Thanks, Louise," I said and kissed her cheek. We quickly finished the dishes in silence.

Back in the living room I started to relax. It felt like the unresolved tension between Scott's Dad, brother and myself had faded. Perhaps they realized how much I truly loved Scott, and was committed to him. Hopefully the commitment ceremony would solidify that realization.

It was late when we got back to Scott's place. As we walked into the bedroom, I remembered something and got a wicked grin on my face. I pushed Scott down onto the bed then crawled on top of him.

"Do you…(kiss)…remember…(kiss)…the night…(kiss)…I crept in here…(kiss)…to surprise you?" I asked.

I certainly remembered the night very well. We had just performed on the music awards and then I drove back here to surprise Scott. I had had such great intentions, but things fizzled when my own inexperience overcame my adrenaline rush. Scott wrapped his arms around me and rolled us over.

"I remember," he murmured as he licked and kissed down my throat. "You want a repeat?" he asked as he kissed my nipple through the sweater.

I sucked in a breath then moved to roll us back over. "Nope!" I said with a grin. "I'm gonna do what I had originally planned for that night," I announced. "Before I chickened out," I added ruefully.

I grasped Scott's arms and raised them over his head, pressing them against the mattress. "Keep them there," I ordered.

"Yes sir!" he replied saucily. They were the last words he spoke coherently until morning.

We spent our second day just staying around the house. We talked about what to do with the place and Scott decided that the best answer was to sell. In a way I was relieved because I knew the place would be impossible to secure I suggested he wait until the new year before selling. Once our story broke, I thought he would be able to get more money for it. Scott laughed at that but agreed.

I casually brought up the idea of going to Kentucky for Christmas. Fortunately Scott agreed, so my plan was quickly falling into place.

Scott drove into town to get some food for us, so I took the opportunity to call my Mom. I let her know that Louise and the others were planning on coming for Christmas. I suggested she call Louise so they could work out details about where people would stay. I reminded her to send me any bills she had because I wanted to pay for everything. She simply told me not to worry about it. She let me know that the rest of the family had been told and basically everyone was planning on attending.

The rest of the day was relaxing and both of us were able to catch up on our sleep. We left early on Monday morning in order to beat the morning rush hour and get to Drew's. He was going to drive us to the airport before he went to work.

The flight to Vegas got us into the hotel just after one. Fortunately there was no rehearsal. We just had to get to the arena early for a quick sound check. While there, AJ called Drew so I was able to invite him to Kentucky for Christmas. I had to force myself to concentrate instead of thinking about the upcoming ceremony. I just wanted everything to be perfect.

To be continued...

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