Pairing: Lance & JC (I'm working on it I swear!)
Disclaimer: Umm duh, of course I don't know (or own, too bad though) N'sync, (or any other boy bands I might happen to mention throughout the rest of the story) if I did I'd be out with them, trying to make sure they fall in love with me, (or at least desire me) not sitting here! So no I'm not implying anything and no I don't know anything either.
Message from the Author: Hey everyone, ok let's get something cleared up here cus there seems to be some confusion going on: Yes, I'm a guy! And yeah, everyone I know really does call me Angel, it's not some screwy nickname I decided to invent to post this story with, it's just what all my friends and family and pretty much everybody but my mom calls me, k? The fact that not everyone might realize this was brought to my attention by KICKASSKID, who said in his email to me:
"Dude, what the hell is going on? I thought you were a guy but you got a name like a chick!"
Thanks a lot for THAT particular comment, kickasskid.
Anyway thanks to everybody else for all the great mail, specially Laurence, you've been awesome dude! But Dawn, what happened!?!? Where did you go to!?!?! Same thing to Corey!!!!! Where are you two!?!?!
Last time on Mistaken Dreams (amazingly enough that's still fun, for me at least,:)
Lance heard the sound of footsteps as someone came closer to him, but he thought it was just Joey returning from wherever he had gone.
This voice was different though, it wasn't Joey's. He looked up, and saw JC's blue eyes staring back into his own, all apology and begged forgiveness.
Mistaken Dreams: Lance n' JC.....
Lance's first instinct was to run again. But where would he go this time? Back to the hotel? That would just delay the confrontation he knew was coming and give him more time to think, something he didn't want to do anymore. But then it didn't matter anyway, because JC had read his thoughts, just like always, and had come to stand in front of the swing he was sitting on, blocking off any chance of escape.
"Lance, I`m sorry."
Lance slowly tilted his head up until he was looking into JC's eyes.
`He really does mean it,' Lance thought.
JC took Lance's silence for anger and felt the tears begin to gather in his eyes.
`Please, please don't let him stay mad with me for long, I don't think I could bear it for very long.'
"It's, it's ok, I'm sorry too, I shouldn't have just run out like that."
`Thank god, thank god he forgives me.'
"You want to go for a walk?" JC asked, stepping back from the swing set so that Lance could get up if he wanted to.
"Sure." Lance replied, and stood up, drying his eyes. "Where do you want to walk?" he asked.
JC picked the path that led down into the trees and guided Lance onto it without saying anything. `Should I talk? Should I let him talk? What should I do?' JC wondered, after a few minutes of walking in silence. He knew asking again was probably a bad idea, at least before telling his secret, secrets, but his need to know overwhelmed him and he spoke softly into the air.
"Are you gonna tell me who he is?" The minute the words were out of his mouth he regretted them.
"JC-" Lance spoke softly but the discomfort in his voice was plain.
"No, don`t say anything else, I understand, I shouldn't have asked you again, I'm sorry."
When Lance didn't say anything else JC slipped his hand into Lance's. JC tightened his grip for a moment and Lance squeezed back, letting him know that it was all ok.
`His hands are so warm, they feel really good.' Lance thought, `I don't think I ever want him to let go,'
They walked in silence for a few more minutes before JC saw a small clearing in the center of a group of trees.
"C'mon," he said, leading Lance off the gravel trail that the paved one had turned into, through the dew soaked grass, and past the sopping, low-hanging branches, letting go of Lance so he could move them aside.
"Thanks," Lance muttered as he moved past the other man. Once JC let go of the branches and smoothed them back into their original places so they were once again hid from the rest of the world Lance turned to him and caught JC's hand again, seeming to miss the contact already.
"Josh, why did you bring me in here?" Lance asked in a small voice, not looking up.
`He's afraid,' JC realized. `What could ever have happened to him to make him afraid of this?'
"Lance, it's ok, I just wanted to come somewhere private so we could talk, nothing bad is going to happen to you, I promise" he said, seeing the fear in the younger boy's face.
Lance moved just his eyes up to look into JC's face, but JC could feel it wasn't really him that Lance was seeing.
"Please, please not again, please don't make me do it again......."
"Lance, what are you talking about? Don't make you do what again?" The confusion was clear in JC's voice. Suddenly something seemed to shift in Lance's eyes and it was like he had just snapped out of a trance.
"What just happened Lance?"
"Oh, oh, nothing, just, just bad memories, I guess."
`How could you have just lost control like that? This is Josh, not Brian. Josh would never hurt you like that, not in a million years.'
`.....He might, if he knew, you'd certainly deserve it. But then again it doesn't really matter anyway, does it? He'd never be with you like that, no matter how much you begged, cus he's not sick like you, not disgusting and perverted like you are Lance....' a voice said, echoing through his mind. Those had been Brian's words, he remembered. Brian's words when he had read Lance's journal, read about his infatuation with JC. Lance still remembered how angry he'd been, so very very angry. Those bruises would take a long time to heal.
They weren't any physical bruises or bodily abuse, Brian had never hit Lance, or at least never more than a punch in the arm, cus hadn`t been like that with Brian, but some times Lance had wished it had been, because the other things he did, the other words he said, hurt even more than his fists ever could have.
Josh took a long time to respond. He studied Lance's face, seeing into the depths of the young man's soul, at least it felt like it to Lance. It seemed to take forever. Finally he formulated his thoughts into a coherent sentence.
"Who gave you those memories, Lance?" JC asked, sure that he already knew the answer.
Meanwhile, back at the hotel....
Joey sat on the couch in his room, contemplating the blank TV screen in front of him.
`Do I really want to turn it on?' he wondered, and finally decided that yes, he did, even if only to get his mind off of what was going on between Lance and JC no more than a 2 minute walk away.
`I wish those two would just get their shit together and admit that they're totally frickin in love with each other. It's not like there's anyone but the two of them who can't seem to figure it out. I can see it, Justin can see it, even though it seems like he doesn't want to, I mean, even CHRIS can see it for god sakes and the man runs into walls just cus he doesn`t see 'em coming!'
Joey started flipping the channels rapidly, irritated. He stopped on something after he had gone through all the channels on the TV at least twice over.
`Some stupid morning time talk show, just peachy.'
`I wonder what the hell is taking them so long?' he thought after a good ten minutes had passed and JC still hadn't returned with Lance. `They should be done and made up by now!' `Well, maybe I should go and check on them, just to make sure nothing happened, that neither of them freaked out and ran away again,' He got up off the sofa and started striding purposefully to the doorway. He was halfway to the elevator before he stopped, shook his head, turned around and headed back into his room, where he closed the door behind him.
"JOEY, man, you have GOT to calm down! Your gonna give yourself a freakin aneurysm worrying about them! There are a million reasonable explanation as to why they aren't back yet! They could just be talking still, or they could have gone to get a bite to eat, whatever it is, they'll be fine as long as thy stick together, its OK." With that audible reminder to himself he sat down and flipped the TV back on. Of course there still wasn't anything good on so he grabbed one of the magazines the hotel staff had left strewn on tables around the room and started to flip through it, landing on a pictorial of the five of them. He was standing by Lance with an arm around his shoulders. He remembered the photographer had yelled at them, saying they looked too cozy sitting there on the couch with Lance resting against him like that. He laughed, remembering what Lance's response had been: "Yeah, well as a matter of fact I AM trying to get cozy, and ya wanna know why? So I can go the hell to sleep!........Stupid jackass.........." He had muttered. The guy had been quite taken aback, since he had worked with them before and thought Lance was the reasonable, cool headed one.
"Don't hold it against him, he had a tough time last night, he really didn't mean it, We're all sorry." Joey had said to the photographer later, who had accepted the apology as coming from Lance's mouth, which it had not. Lance had stuck by his appraisal of the photographer, but Joey had felt it would be best if the guy didn't know that.
Well, at least he hadn't had to lie about the whole thing, the night before most definitely hadn`t been fun for Lance, what with the conversation Joey had tried to have with him that turned into the blonde sobbing and falling asleep in his arms. He had felt so bad for making Lance cry, but there wasn't really anything he could even do but hold him.
Joey had woken up around 1 am, with Lance still in his arms. He hadn't been asleep for very long, even though he had been lulled into unconsciousness with amazing speed by the boy beside him. Not intentionally, of course, but Lance just felt so good he couldn't help but fall asleep.
`Maybe I should get up, let him have the whole bed and go sleep on the couch or something,' Joey thought, but he really was comfortable here and Lance was just so very warm and nice to hold. Besides, he didn't really think Lance minded sharing the bed with him much anyway.
After a bit of just lying there he finally realized what a different position they had managed to shift into. Lances head was still on his chest, kind of, but now their bodies were facing, Lance had one of Joey's legs sandwiched between his own, and Joey had his arms wrapped completely around the young blonde singer`s body.
`Oh God,' Joey suddenly thought, 'is that my hand on Lance's cute little bottom? Wait, what! Why did I just think of Lance's butt as cute? God, I think I need help, and probably a stiff drink' he decided, and gently lifted the offending hand off the area, thinking that Lance could wake up any second and be totally flipped out by it. But it seemed that even in his sleep Lance wasn't having any of that silliness. He moaned softly, moving himself closer to Joey's body, pulling the other man towards him, scooting them so close that Joey couldn't help but replace his arms around the younger man, placing his hands on Lance's lower back. After a few seconds he slowly slid his hand back to it's original position. Once it was there he rested it only softly, just in case Lance did wake up and did, in fact, mind. But Lance only sighed in his sleep and pushed back an inch or so, landing Joey's hands smack on his tush.
`Wow, it's really nice feeling,' Joey thought.
He had of course seen Lance's butt before when they were changing and things but he had never even thought he might like to touch it, or that it might feel so....so...nice and....and...yummy. `Yummy, where the hell did THAT come from?' `In fact, why am I even thinking ANY of these things? And why did I decide to put my hand back on Lance's butt!?!?!'
`I can't deal with thinking about this stuff right now, I'll just go to sleep and when I wake up in the morning I'll sort it all out.' With that he sighed, closed his eyes, and settled down deeper into the covers, although he never did move his hands.
Joey was shaken out of his memories by Chris and Justin bursting into the room.
"Where is he?!" They both shouted, with Justin pouncing on Joey where he was sitting.
"Guys! It's all right, they are still at the park,"
"You left Lance alone with JC!"
"Justin, calm down, it's gonna be fine, JC would never do anything to hurt Lance, you know that."
"Yeah, I guess your right, it's just...what do you think they're doing?" Justin asked, easing down from the upright position he'd landed in when he had jumped on the older man.
"Talking, I'd imagine. Umm, Justin?"
"If you don't mind me asking, why exactly are you sitting in my lap?"
"What? Oh, sor-sorry, I, uhh, didn't realize I was, I mean- I was relieved, but then like-y'know, and then...well, you know what I mean."
Joey was chuckling to himself by the time Justin had finished.
"Yeah, yeah I know what you mean." he said, still laughing. They sat in silence for a few seconds and Justin still hadn't gotten up off his lap. Joey himself didn't really mind but he could see that Chris was starting to give them funny looks.
"Uh, Justin, I kinda of meant for you to get off me."
"Oh, right, yeah sorry about that again." Justin mumbled, blushing all the way down to his neck, and moving off of Joey and onto the other couch cushion. `Smooth one dumbass! Now they probably know for sure, and even if they don't there is no way Chris isn't gonna get you with this later!' Justin had seen the look Chris was giving them as well but hadn't really cared, Joey was just so damn comfy to lounge on.
"Sooo," Chris said, "do we know when they are gonna be back?"
"Well probably when they are done working through their stuff I'd imagine," Justin answered
"Hey no shit Sherlock, I meant do we have a time frame on it, we do have to be at the studio in a while, y'know?"
"Chris, be nice," Joey admonished, after Justin started pouting. "And no, I have no idea when they are going to be back, the answer Justin gave you is probably the best one you're going to get," Joey finished, in time to catch Justin's smirk at Chris.
"Justin, don't be smug, it's a very unattractive quality in one so young," he said, and Justin began to pout again. "And don't worry Chris, I already called the studio and told them we might be late and they said not to worry about it, no one from management is scheduled to show up and we've got it booked for the whole day anyway."
"Oh, well ok then, as long as we aren`t gonna get yelled at or anything..." Chris trailed off, not really having anything else to say.
"So do you guys like wanna see what's on TV?" Justin asked, breaking the silence and reaching for the remote.
"Umm, no thanks, I think I'm just gonna go back to my room and shower and stuff and maybe read a bit, if that's cool with you guys, just let me know when Lance and JC get back, ok?"
"All right, sure thing, see ya Chris."
"Bye guys," Chris said as he walked out the door.
"So what about you Joe, you up to hanging out?"
"Yeah sure Curly, whatever you want, but first I have to call the studio real quick and make sure it's ok if we're late,"
Justin only looked confused.
"Wait, but I thought you told Chris that you already handled and that it was all cool and-"
"Justin, I lied," he said, interrupting his friend.
Justin looked surprised for only a second before recovering.
"Joey, I do believe I'm shocked!" He said, laughing.
"Please, like you've never done it before, besides, I had to get Chris to shut up somehow didn't I?" he replied as he picked up the hotel phone, dialed 9 to get a line out and then the studio's number. Justin had turned on the TV but muted it when he heard Joey start to talk.
"Yeah, Hey...yeah a bit late....oh,....no, you do it......yeah good luck with that....goodbye Dale."
"What happened?" Justin asked as soon as Joey had hung up the phone. Joey sighed.
"Well, we do have the studio booked all day, but...there is going to be someone from management there."
"Ohh, what did you tell him?"
"Nothing, he wasn't there yet, I told Dale to just delay him once he got there,"
"Uhg, poor Dale." he said.
"Oh I don't know, better him than me," Joey responded, plopping himself back down onto the couch.
"That's real nice Joe,"
"Yeah, well, I never really did like Dale anyway, not since that time after the party where he got drunk and kept trying to hit on Lan-" Joey blushed. "-I mean, I just don't really like the guy, that's all."
Justin gave Joey a quizzical look but decided to let it go at that, much to Joey's obvious relief.
"So what do you want to watch?" he asked instead.
"Oh, I don't care, whatever you want is fine with me,"
"Ok." after flipping in aimlessly for a few minutes Justin broke the silence again.
"Hey Joey, since Chris is gone now would you mind if I-"
"Yeah, that'd be ok Curly," he said, not waiting for the younger man to finish.
"You didn't even let me finish, you don't even know what I'm gonna ask!"
Joey looked at him calmly.
"You were going to ask if it would be all right if you sat in my lap now that Chris is gone, right?"
Justin only became more agitated.
"How did you know that?!"
"Justin, who cares how I knew! I said yes, didn't I? Now get over here!" Joey said, pointing to the spot in his lap that Justin had vacated only a few minutes before, surprising even himself with his vehemence.
Justin gave Joey a smile that went from surprised to grateful and then at the end turned rather saucy.
"Will do..." He said, licking his lips and crawling over the couch cushions on his hands and knees.
"Justin, stop being such a dork," Joey said, reaching out and picking the blonde up by the waist and setting Justin down on his lap.
"Mmm, thanks Joe," Justin said, yawning and laying his head on the older boy's shoulder.
"Anytime, Curly, anytime..." Joey whispered softly.
But Justin didn't hear him, because he was already asleep in Joey's arms.
"Who? Who was it Lance?"
"JC.... I........Please......." Lance couldn't seem to get all the words out, only fragments.
"It was that Brian guy, wasn't it?" From the way the other guys had all reacted to Brian's name JC knew it had to be him. "Wasn't it!" He yelled.
"JC! Please! Don't make me tell you! I can't tell you! It's too much, it's all too much!" Lance was yelling now too, but he had to make his tongue work around the sobs that were choking his throat.
Suddenly JC realized what he was doing: He was making Lance cry! At this moment it wasn't Brian, it was him! He was making his baby, the only thing that mattered in his life, cry!
"Oh, Lance, I'm so sorry, I'm so very very sorry, I never meant to yell at you Lance, I swear, I never meant it." JC said, folding up onto the ground and dragging Lance, who was still clutching his hand, down with him. JC gathered Lance into his arms and rocked the sobbing boy back and forth, murmuring apologies all the while. Once Lance had finally regained his breath he put his hands on JC's chest and pushed himself up so he could look into JC's eyes.
"JC, it's all right, I just can't...I can't tell you, not yet."
"I understand, really, I do." he said, seeing the skeptical look on Lance's face. He spoke again:
"Listen how bout we go somewhere and then we can talk,"
Lance smiled at him.
"Someplace a little bit less wet?"
"And maybe someplace that serves French Toast?"
"Sure Lance, whatever you want baby,"
Lance just smiled, he didn't even hear JC's slipup.
"All right, but your buying, cus I don't have my wallet."
JC laughed again and stood up, with Lance still in his arms.
"Uhh, JC? Were you planning on carrying me to the restaurant?"
"Oh, well no, I guess not," he said, realizing just how silly that notion had been, even though it had crossed his mind, and put Lance back on his feet.
"Well, it was a sweet gesture," Lance said, smiling and trying not to crack up. JC just glared at him.
"Aww, shut up and start walkin, blondie boy." He retorted and slung his arm around Lance's waist, pulling them closer together as they walked out of the ring of trees and off towards the main road to find a place where they could have themselves some breakfast and a good long talk.
Ok everybody, not exactly a cliffhanger, I know, but it seemed like the right place to end it, plus I'm dead tired and need to go to bed. I know I didn't really reveal anything more about Brian but don't worry, it'll all come out in time. Anyway, what I need to ask is if anybody out there wants me to write a next chapter, cus I know some people lose interest when it gets to the `talk' stage, what do you think, should I keep it going? Cus I could, I've got a lot more ideas for it, but I just don't know if like that many people really care, and this is actually time consuming (contrary to what I first believed) and I'm getting ready to go back to school so I need to know if all you all think it's worth continuing. So the fate of the story rests in your hands now :), anyway, email me your thoughts at NikkaWhat@Hotmail.com.