Date: Sun, 2 Apr 2000 17:47:03 -0700 (PDT)
From: Grant Colby <colby4347@yahoo.com>
Subject: MTV CrossRoads 3

    This is FICTION. It NEVER happened, at least not
to my knowledge.  This story is not intended to imply
anything about the sexuality  or personalities of
Carson Daly, James Van Der Beek, any member of N Sync,
or any other real life person mentioned.


     Lance opened his eyes and felt a wave of sadness
and disappointment sweep over him. It had been the
most wonderful dream he'd ever had in his entire life.
He and JC had been together. They'd held each others
hands and kissed. JC had loved him in the way Lance
had always prayed he'd be loved by someone.

     But it had been a dream. For a second or two,
Lance squeezed his eyes closed again, hoping against
hope that the dream would return.

     "You up yet man?" Justin's voice ended Lance's
futile attempt to recapture the dream.

     "Almost," Lance sighed, opening his eyes again
and looking up at Justin, who was standing just inside
the doorway of the hotel room.

     "Cool. We gotta get movin," Justin reminded him.

     "Yeah, I remember. Screaming girls fighting for a
mock date with N Sync, courtesy of the dream factory
that is MTV."

     "You okay Lance?" Justin asked, hearing the
unusual note of bitterness in his friend's voice.

     "Yeah, just tired, I guess. I'll be down out in a
little while, okay?"

     "'Kay. We'll be in Chris's room," Justin said as
he closed the door behind him. He hoped Lance was all
right. He wondered sometimes about Lance, about how
happy he could really be. Justin had no doubt that his
friend was gay, even though none of them had ever
discussed it, even behind Lance's back.

     Sometimes he wished Lance would just tell him and
the other guys. He knew it must be hard for him,
though, with his religious background. At times Justin
considered telling Lance that he was bisexual, to
break the ice and make things easier for his friend.
He wasn't sure he was ready to do that, though. He
like hooking up with guys every once in awhile, sure,
but in the long run he intended to settle down with
some phat honey and have a couple of kids. So why
lable himself now?

     Besides, Justin had other things on his mind
today. They were in Big Bear for MTV's Snowed In
weekend, and for the first time since they'd been in
Atlanta for TRL's superbowl special a few weeks
before, Justin would be seeing Carson Daly.

     The last time he'd seen the TRL host, he'd been
butt ass naked and sportin wood, Justin recalled with
a smile. He wasn't quite sure he was going to be able
to keep a straight face on the show today when he
looked at Carson.

                 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     "Cut! Listen, why don't we take half an hour to
regroup ourselves and then try again?" The director
tried to keep his voice level, but it was obvious he
was fed up.

     They'd been attempting to shoot the same scene
for over an hour now, and James Van Der Beek kept
blowing his lines. The others in the scene, Kerr Smith
and Michelle Williams, had it down pat from the first
take.

     "Sorry," James mumbled in the general direction
of Kerr and Michelle and then moved off towards his
dressing room. What the hell was wrong with him? His
work was the most important thing in his life and he
was usually dead on right from the first take. Lately,
though, his mind kept wandering away from where it
should be focused.

     It had been a few weeks since the night Carson
Daly had made a pass at him, and James couldn't stop
thinking about how much he'd wanted to give in that
night, how much he still wanted to give in now. After
Carson had left his room that night he'd hooked up
with a babe he'd met earlier in the hotel bar. The
whole time he'd been with her, though, his mind kept
going back to Carson lying naked in the same bed they
were using.

     "I'm losing my mind," James said aloud to himself
once he was alone in his dressing room. He slumped
down in a chair next to the door and tried to get back
in focus so he could finish the scene. He didn't like
the way Michelle and Kerr had been looking at him. It
was the same way he usually looked at incompetent cast
mates who flubbed their lines!

     A knock sounded at the door and a sudden burst of
rage overtook James. If everyone would just leave him
the fuck alone, maybe he'd be able to memorize his
lines! And who was writing this crap anyway? The show
was tanking big time now that Kevin Willamson had
moved on.

     "What??" James barked, flinging the door open.

     "Hello to you, too," Joshua Jackson laughed,
walking past James. Joshua had an eternally laid back
manner about him. He was never flustered and his good
humor was often infectious.

     "Hey, Josh," James felt himself calming down a
little and felt sort of foolish all of a sudden.
"Sorry."

     "No problem. I'm used to being greeted like that
wherever I go," Josh smiled. "So, what's up with you
today? Girl problems?"

     "No. Well, not really. I'm just having trouble
concentrating," James sighed, sitting back down.
Joshua had taken a seat on the sofa without having to
be asked.

     "Some babe has you really worked up, that's for
sure. Listen, just relax, focus on the scene. When
it's over, get out of here and go take care of
whatever it is that's got your panties in a twist.
Otherwise, you're screwed," Josh smiled.

     "I'm not sure I want to take care of it, that's
the problem. It's something I'd like to forget," James
explained.

     "Oh. Well, obviously you don't really want to
forget it. If you did, you already would have put it
out of your head. That's how the human brain works,
man. So stop trying so hard to forget it and just deal
with it head on."

     "Josh, I can't. It's... well, it's not a good
thing, okay? It's not something I want to face," James
couldn't believe it but he felt himself close to
tears.

     "Why isn't it a good thing? Does it hurt someone
else?" Josh looked at him quizzically from across the
room.

     "Yeah. Well, no. But it's just... it's not... I
can't....." James was at a loss for words.

     "I think I know what you're getting at. It's
something that you don't feel is right, but that
you're drawn to anyway?" Josh asked. James nodded
silently and Josh's face broke out in a smile.

     "Okay, I think I've got a parallel situation to
relate here that might be of some help. Awhile back I
was working on a movie and there was this person who
was making it totally obvious that they wanted me. At
first I was like, No, Thanks. But then the harder they
tried, the more I started thinking, Why Not?" Josh
smiled.

     "Josh, it's not quite the same thing, okay?"
James said, wishing he'd never brought it up to begin
with.

     "I think it might be, dude. See, this person
wasn't a chick. It was another guy," Josh said
quietly, still smiling. James stared at him, mouth
open in shock.

     "What?" he finally managed to croak out.

     "Yeah. Another dude. I'd never thought about
being with another guy or anything like that. But the
more he pursued me, the more I wondered why I
shouldn't. I mean, it's just sex, right? I've never
had anything against gay people. And it's natural to
be curious, I think. So I finally decided what the
hell, let's see what all the fuss was about."

     "You slept with him?" James asked, still feeling
dazed by the revelation but also a little turned on at
the thought of his costar with another guy.

     "There wasn't much sleeping going on, no," Josh
laughed. "It was an experience, James. Nothing to feel
bad about, maybe even nothing I'll ever do again,
though I wouldn't swear to it. It was fun. My point is
that everyone experiments at some point, so don't let
it tear you up like this if you did, too, okay?"

     "Yeah. Um, thanks, Josh," James smiled, still
trying to digest all he'd just found out about his
costar.

     "See you on the set," Josh smiled as he left
James alone. 'Everyone experiments at some point.' The
words kept going through James's mind and he suddenly
wished that he could be included in that group.

                 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     "I've got a headache," Chris sighed as the
elevator doors closed.

     "Yeah, me too. I'm just glad that's over with,"
Joey agreed. The group had spent the day witnessing a
human circus as their fans had been forced into
competing to try to win a date with them.

     "Can you believe Carson? I wanted to knock that
smug smile right offa his face when he called us N
Stink!" Justin complained. His head was killing him,
too, but it wasn't just because of the screaming
girls.

     Carson had been very happy to see him again and
every time the cameras had stopped rolling he'd
flirted with Justin like it was his last day on Earth
and he wanted to end it with a final conquest.

     "Carson certainly wants to mount you, Curly.
Going to give him a ride?" Chris cracked, sending Joey
into fits of laughter.

     "Ha ha. It wouldn't be so funny if he was all
over you, man!" Justin said. He didn't really mind
guys flirting with him, but Carson got on his nerves
big time.

     "You've been really quiet today, Lance.
Everything okay?" JC asked quietly while the other
guys teased Justin about Carson's intentions.

     "Yeah, sure. I'm just tired," Lance smiled. His
mind went back to the dream he'd had and the way JC
had looked at him in it, with such love in his eyes.
Why couldn't he look at him like that right now, for
real?

     "Oh. I was gonna ask you if you wanted to come to
my room and watch a movie," JC said, sounding a little
disappointed.

     "Really? That would be cool. I need to just relax
a little," Lance smiled, hoping he didn't sound too
anxious or excited at the prospect.

     "Cool. I'll see you in a few minutes," JC smiled
as the elevator doors opened and they all went off to
their separate rooms.

     Flipping through the hotel's selection of pay per
view movies, JC thought back on the days events. He'd
enjoyed the whole Snowed In thing, even if it was
silly. JC loved it when the cameras were rolling, it
was when he felt most at peace with himself, when he
was entertaining.

     "JC? Can I talk to you for a minute?" Justin
asked, knocking on the door as he came through it.

     "Sure. Something wrong?" JC looked at Justin
quizzically. They were like brothers and had been
since their famous stint on the Mickey Mouse Club.

     "It's about Lance, actually. I been thinkin about
him all day. I worry about him a lot," Justin
explained, closing the door behind him.

     "Why?" JC asked, feeling confused. Lance had
seemed quiet and a little tired all day, sure. But
Lance was usually quiet and reserved anyway.

     "Well, you know. They say that suicide rates are
highest for gay teens. I know Lance isn't a teen
anymore, but still. It must be hard for him. I just
thought -" Justin stopped when he saw the look of
shock on JC's face.

     "Lance is gay?" JC asked, feeling a little dazed.
He'd never thought of any of the other guys in the
band in that way at all.

     "You're surprised? I thought everyone knew. I
mean, he's never told me so, but it's kind of obvious,
isn't it?" Justin looked suddenly uncomfortable.

     "I never really thought about it," JC said
softly, more to himself than to Justin.

     "Oh. Well, I guess I could be wrong. But I don't
think so. I just think we should be more supportive,
ya know? So he knows that we're okay with it."

     Before JC could say anything else there was a
knock at the door. Still feeling a little dazed, JC
opened it and found Lance standing there, smiling.

     "What movie are we going to see?" Lance asked in
his softly accented deep voice. For the first time
ever, JC found himself looking at his friend in a new
light and wondering.

     "You guys are watching a movie?" Justin asked
from inside the room. Was that a flicker of
disappointment in Lance's eyes, JC wondered, when he
heard Justin?

     "Yeah, Curly. Want to join us?" JC asked,
stepping aside to let Lance in. Lance felt a feeling
of disappointment wash over him. He couldn't help
remembering the night in Atlanta when he and JC had
stayed up late watching movies, just the two of them.
He'd felt really close to JC that night and had been
hoping that tonight might turn out to be similar.

     "Sure. I'm always up for hanging out with two of
my favorite people," Justin smiled. "What are we gonna
watch?"

     JC and Lance, though they had no way of knowing
that the other was thinking the same thing, both
wished Justin had said no.

                      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     "That's it, yeah. Mmmmm," the hot young blonde
moaned. He was lying on his back, his arms behind his
head. He couldn't believe his luck as he watched
Carson Daly from MTV going down on his cock.

     Carson, his mouth full of several inches of hot
young cock, was reviewing the show with N Sync in his
mind. He'd had little luck with Justin, to his
disappointment. Luckily, he hadn't been forced to go
home alone as he had that night in Atlanta after he
left James Van Der Beek's room and had been unable to
find Justin.

     The young blonde had come up to him with a star
struck grin on his face and asked for his autograph.
"I watch your show every day," he'd said in an awed
voice. Carson had sized him up quickly - great body,
good looking, very eager.

     "For the music or for me?" He'd asked playfully.
The blonde had blushed and then, looking boldly into
Carson's eyes, had said that he always turned off the
show whenever there was a guest host filling in for
Carson.

     "Feel like coming up to my room for a drink?"
Carson had asked, and the boy had accepted
immediately. He'd been more than willing once they got
to the room to take off his clothes, and now Carson
was servicing him.

     "Fuck, I'm going to cum," the blonde moaned, and
Carson increased his suction. "I'm gonna shoot.."
Carson pulled back just in time to be rewarded with
the first shot on his tongue and then jacked the boy
off, letting him cum all over his own chest.

     Moving up quickly, Carson brought his mouth to
his lovers, sharing the cum between them. Pulling away
after they'd both greedily swallowed the cum, Carson
straddled his chest and began jacking off just above
the blonde's face.

     The young stud kept trying to touch Carson's cock
with his tongue, but the TRL host kept it just out of
his reach and he moved his fist quickly up and down.

     "Yeah, you want this don't you? You want my rod?"
Carson asked between gasps as he got closer and closer
to his climax.

     "Please!" The blonde begged, just as Carson began
to shoot his load all over his face. Smiling down at
the cum splattered blonde, Carson rolled off the bed
and stood up.

     "That was great, thanks."

     "It was beyond great. I can't believe I have
Carson Daly's jizz all over my face!" The guy smiled,
using his finger to scoop up some of it from his cheek
and bringing it to his mouth.

     "Listen, I hate to be an asshole, but I've really
gotta get some sleep. I've got a busy day tomorrow,"
Carson said, pulling on a hotel robe.

     "Oh. You want me to leave?" the blonde looked a
little surprised and Carson felt a twinge of
irritation. This one was going to turn out to be a
clinger.

     "Well, you can use the bathroom first to clean
up, but yeah. Sorry, but I'm a busy guy. You know how
it is."

    "Okay," the blonde said, pulling on his boxer
briefs and reaching for his clothes. "It's probably
for the best, I guess. My parents would probably be
pissed if I didn't come home. I could say I'm staying
at a friends house, though, if you wanted."

     "Your parents?" Carson asked, feeling as though
he'd been punched in the stomach. "How old are you?"

     "I turned sixteen last month."

     "Oh, Jesus! I thought you were at least nineteen.
Shit!" Carson sat down suddenly on the bed.

     "Don't worry, dude. I won't tell anyone. They'd
never believe I got a blow job from Carson Daly even
if I did tell!"

     "Oh, my God. Sixteen. Christ. You look older!"
Carson said.

     "Thanks! I'll just go clean up, okay?" the boy
went into the bathroom and closed the door. Carson
grabbed the phone and quickly dialed a number.

     "Love? You're never going to believe what just
happened to me!"

                  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     JC looked down at Lance's sleeping face,
wondering. The movie had ended a little while ago and
Justin had gone off to bed, but Lance had fallen
asleep during the show.

     He looks so peaceful, JC thought. So sweet.
Lance. Could Lance be gay? What a relief it would be
if he was! JC had spent the past few years being so
careful that none of his bandmates discovered the
truth about him. What if all that time Lance had been
right there, feeling the same way?

     Lance. JC had always felt a close bond with him.
Suddenly he found himself wondering if maybe there
wasn't more to what he was feeling that just a close
friendship.

     Stirring a little, Lance opened his eyes and
found JC looking down at him with a look in his eyes
that was similar to the one from the dream. Smiling,
Lance reached up and touched the side of JC's face.

     "You are so beautiful," Lance murmured, closing
his eyes again. After a few seconds he opened them
again and saw JC looking down at him in surprise. He
pulled his hand away quickly and sat up.

     "Oh my God. JC, I'm.... I thought I was..... Oh,"
Lance had turned a deep shade of red.

     "Lance, it's-"

     "I'm sorry!" Lance stood up and was past JC and
out of the room before he could say another word.


   ***TBC  write to Colby4347@yahoo.com