Date: Sun, 7 May 2000 15:57:50 -0700 (PDT) From: Grant Colby Subject: MTV CrossRoads 4 This story is completely fictional. To my own knowledge, none of the real life versions of the people I'm portraying are gay or bisexual. I also have no affiliation with MTV. "I can't find him. I've looked everywhere," Justin said, sounding out of breath. "He can't have gone too far, he's got to be around here, somewhere. He wouldn't go out, would he? I mean, there are fans camped out outside. He knows that," JC said, thinking out loud and sounding very worried. "What exactly happened, man? I said we should be supportive of him, not confront him!" Justin's voice was angry and heavy with accusation. "I didn't confront him. He just... it's too complicated to go into right now, Justin. We've got to find him. What if he does something stupid?" JC's voice was taking on an edge of panic. "If he did, it's gonna be your fault, JC. Damn, I shoulda handled it myself but I thought I could trust you to be a decent human being!" Justin shouted, glaring at his friend. "Justin, I didn't do anything, okay? I didn't even bring it up!" JC shouted back. "That makes no sense! If you didn't do anything, why'd he run off?" Justin demanded. "Jeeze, I knew I should have just talked to him myself. At least I kinda understand what he's going through." JC looked at his friend in momentary shock - was Justin saying he was gay?? But there wasn't any time for this now. They had to find Lance. If anything happened to him, JC knew that he'd never forgive himself. The very thought of any harm coming to Lance was more than he could bare. "We have to find him, Justin. Let's spilt up and look again. If we don't find him this time, we'll have to wake up Chris and Joey." "Okay. But this isn't over, JC. I wanna know what you said to him that would affect him this way," Justin warned in parting as they separated again to look for their friend. **************** He was shivering in the cold night air, but it didn't really matter. His arms and legs had gone numb, and the blowing wind was like one consistent sharp slap across his face after another, but it didn't matter. Nothing did, not any more. 'How could I have been so stupid?' Lance asked himself for the hundredth time. He was sitting in a huddled mass on the roof of the hotel, his knees drawn up underneath his chin. He was still wearing the thing white t-shirt and gray sweat pants that he'd changed into when they'd returned to the hotel and his whole body was shaking from the cold. Some part of his mind was urging him to go inside, knowing that staying out any longer in the cold night air dressed as he was could prove to be very dangerous. But he couldn't. He could never look JC in the face again. JC knew, now, that Lance was gay. And that he thought JC was 'beautiful'. Squeezing his eyes shut, Lance tried to erase from his mind the image of shock that had covered JC's face. Tears rolling down his face, Lance began to rock slowly back and forth. JC would hate him now. He'd think he was a freak. He might even tell the others and then they'd all hate him. He'd have to leave the group and his parents would have to find out why. Then he'd have nobody left, they'd all know what he was. "Lance?" He opened his eyes with a start as he heard the voice call his name. It was Justin's voice and the tone told Lance that he hadn't been spotted yet, that Justin was searching for him. "Lansten Bass? Are you up here?" Justin called again. Lance couldn't see the door from where he was sitting, so he knew that unless Justin ventured farther out onto the roof, he was safe from discovery. Suddenly, without much warning, Lance sneezed loudly. Holding his breath, he prayed that Justin hadn't heard him. Because if Justin was up here looking for him, then it meant that JC had probably told the other guys about what happened. The very thought was almost more than Lance could bare. "Are you crazy??? You're gonna freeze up, here, man! C'mon, let's go inside," Justin, alerted by the sneeze, had quickly found his friend's hiding place. "Leave me alone," Lance mumbled, dropping his head onto his knees, not wanting to even have to look at Justin and know that he knew. "I will not! Lance, you're gonna make yourself sick up here. Just come inside where it's warm and we can talk okay?" Justin pleaded, kneeling down beside his friend and putting a hand on his back. Lance began to sob quietly, his head still buried against his knees. Justin moved his hand up to touch the back of his head. "Lance, it's okay. I don't know what JC said to you, but it doesn't matter. Come inside with me, please? We'll go into my room and we can talk." Lance looked up slowly, his eyes filled with tears. "You... you don't know what JC said to ME?" "Nah. But whatever it was, it doesn't matter," Justin said softly. Lance felt a rush of relief. JC hadn't told anyone what Lance had said or what it had revealed about him. Still, JC knew, and that was almost as bad as everyone knowing because Lance cared for JC the most. "I can't, Justin. Just leave me alone, please. I can't ever face him again," Lance said, his deep voice breaking as the tears started again. 'Damn JC!' Justin thought, feeling a growing fury towards his band mate. What could he have said to affect Lance this way? "Lance, JC doesn't speak for the rest of us, okay? He certainly don't speak for me, man. I love ya like a brother, no matter what. Please come inside. You don't have to see JC, okay?" Justin pleaded again, his voice growing more desperate. Lance's whole body was shaking from the cold and he'd already been outside far too long. Lance looked up again, his eyes meeting Justin's. For a long moment he seemed to hesitate but then he slowly began to nod his head in agreement. Feeling relieved, Justin wrapped an arm around his shoulder and helped him stand up. "Let's get you to my room. You can stay the night there if you want," Justin said softly. Lance nodded again, feeling suddenly close to Justin and grateful for his friendship in a way he'd never been before. The two of them made their way down the stairs, Lance still shivering badly and leaning on Justin for support. They reached their own floor and headed directly for Justin's room, which luckily was closest to the stairwell. Justin guided Lance to the bed and had him sit down on the edge. He quickly removed his friend's shoes and socks and then pulled the t-shirt over his head. For an instant, Justin couldn't help but admire his friend's well defined upper body, but he quickly made himself dismiss any such thought. "Here, put this on and then get into bed and under the covers. You've gotta be freezing," Justin said, handing Lance one of his own sweat shirts. Lance obeyed with out saying a word and was soon tucked away with the blankets on Justin's bed pulled up to his chin. "You need something warm to drink," Justin said as he turned up the heat in the room. "I'll call room service and get them to send up some hot chocolate, okay?" Lance nodded. "Are you hungry? Do you want anything else?" Lance shook his head silently. "Okay, I'll be right back, then." As Justin closed the door he heard Lance sneeze again and felt a shiver of fear. What if Lance had really made himself ill by sitting out in the cold like that? "Justin! Any luck?" JC called out as he got off the elevator and spotted his friend standing in the hall. "Go to bed, JC. Lance is fine. You and I will talk in the morning," Justin said coldly. "He's okay? Is he in his room?" JC asked moving in the direction of Lance's door. "No, he's in my room. And I promised him he wouldn't have to see you, JC, so stay the hell away from him, okay?" "Curly, I didn't-" "Tomorrow, JC. I don't trust myself talking to you right now. After finding Lance they way I did, I could gladly kill you for what you did to him," Justin said. "But I didn't-" JC's voice took on a pleading edge and he tried to reach out and touch his friend on the arm, to get him to listen. "Back off JC! You know what? If you have a problem with Lance being gay, you've got a problem with me, too," Justin snapped, turning away from the guy he'd always thought of like a brother and heading back towards his room. JC felt stunned. So Justin was gay, too? It was unbelievable! All these years of hiding his own sexuality from the guys in the group, and both Justin and Lance were gay, too! "Curly, I don't have a problem!" JC called out, but Justin went in his room and closed the door without another word. "I'm gay, too," JC said softly, to no one in particular. He turned and went back to his own room, where he fell backwards on the bed and felt tears sting his eyes. Lance was safe, that's all that really mattered. But not Justin hated him for something that wasn't even his fault. In all the years he'd known Justin, he'd never seen him so angry before. 'Tomorrow,' JC thought. 'Tomorrow he'll listen to me and realize that I didn't do anything. And I'll tell him and Lance that I'm gay, too. Maybe there's even a chance for me and Lance.' This was JC's last conscious thought before the sheer exhaustion of the day's and the night's events caught up with him and sent him into a deep sleep. Back in his room, Justin leaned against the door, breathing heavily. He'd just pretty much admitted his bisexuality to JC. But somehow, it didn't matter. Justin had long since accepted that his bisexuality wasn't who he was, it was just another part of the overall package. But if JC had a problem with Lance being gay, he'd now have a problem with Justin's bisexuality, too. The thought that N Sync might have just reached a very bitter end over this crossed Justin's mind. Right now, though, only Lance mattered. Justin had no doubt that being gay wasn't something Lance had accepted as easily as Justin had accepted his own sexuality. For all he knew, Lance might not have accepted it at all, and this blow from JC- what could he have said?- was probably the worst thing that could have happened. Justin made his way over to the bed and was relieved to discover that Lance was already sound asleep. Justin carefully sat down next to him on the bed, doing his best not to wake his friend. He looked down at Lance's sleeping face and felt an overwhelming urge to protect him from everything the world might throw at him. Lance shivered in his sleep and made a small noise, his face creasing with some unpleasant emotion. Justin softly touched his forehead, feeling for a fever, and then leaned forward and brushed his lips softly against Lance's cheek. "It's gonna be okay, Lance. You'll see," Justin said softly. Standing up, he grabbed a spare pillow and blanket and made a bed for himself on the small sofa across from the bed. After turning out the light, Justin crept softly back to the bed and stood looking down at Lance's face for a few moments, wondering just what these feelings he'd discovered for his band mate meant. ************** "What's the big deal, Cars? You've gone after under age guys before," Love pointed out over the phone. "No, I've gone after under age CELEBS before," Carson Daly pointed out. "There's a difference. They've got just as much to lose as I do if it gets out. Can you see Taylor Hanson going public after sleeping with me? No. It would ruin him. But some random kid? It could make him!" "Do you think the kids going to tell?" Love asked. "I don't know! He said not. Jesus, I coulda sworn he was at least 19," Carson moaned into the phone. "Cars, as long as he's not saving the dress you came all over, there's no proof of anything." "Dress? What?" Carson asked, feeling very confused. "Monica Lewinsky. Never mind! The point is, there's nothing to back him up if he does tell. Don't freak out. And next time you pick up a groupie, check their ID first!" Jennifer Love Hewitt chided laughingly. "I guess you're right, he couldn't prove it. You know who's fault this is? Justin Timberlakes. If he hadn't got me all worked up and then shot me down, this never would have happened," Carson complained. "Poor Cars, it's not often you're rejected, is it?" Love laughed. "No, it's not. But I'm going to have Justin, you watch. Hell, if I want to, I can have every member of N Sync," Carson bragged. "Oh, really? Care to put some money on that?" Love asked. "How much?" Carson asked, feeling the excitement of a bet tingle through his body. "How much did we go for last time, when you said you could get Fred Durst to let you blow him?" "Ummm. I think it was Five Hundred," Carson said, trying to recall. "You should know, you had to pay it!" "I thought I was pretty safe on that bet, too," Love sighed. "I still can't believe he let you." "Believe it, babe. It was the best three minutes of that week for me," Carson laughed. "Well, let's see. There's five guys this time, one of whom hates you. I think we should up the stakes. Five thousand dollars. But you have to perform a sexual act with each of them, or you loose," Love said. "Time frame?" Carson asked. "I'll be generous. I'll give you a few months. Shall we say the beginning of April?" "I might need a little more time than that. Who knows how often I'll be seeing them. Let's say the beginning of May. That gives me about three months," Carson said. "Deal. You'd better get your checkbook out, Mr. Daly," Love laughed. "We'll see, won't we?" Carson laughed back, his mood much lighter than when he'd dialed the phone. **************** James Van Der Beek felt a thrill rush through his body at the thought of what he was about to attempt. Earlier in the day he'd had a conversation with his costar, Joshua Jackson, which had both enlightened him and turned him on. Now it was time for him to do something about it. The only person James knew for sure to be interested in him was Carson Daly, but the TRL host was a long way from the set of Dawson's Creek. There were really only two choices for James right now- someone who worked on the show, either behind the scenes or a cast member, or a guy from town. The second choice was far too dangerous, James decided. It was best to keep it within the confines of the show itself, keep it among the Hollywood set, so to speak. With that in mind, James had made his decision and was now standing hesitantly in front of a door, trying to think of just what he'd say when it was opened. "James! Hey, what's up?" Kerr Smith asked, feeling very surprised to find this particular co star knocking on his door so late. He and James had never been more than co-workers. In fact, James was hardly more than co-workers with anyone on the set, despite the fact that they were so far from Hollywood and had to band together. Kerr's honest opinion was that James was very full of himself and took his work far too seriously. "Hey, Kerr. Can I come in? I wanted to work on that scene we're shooting tomorrow," James smiled. "Sure, I guess. Come on in," Kerr stepped aside, feeling confused. James always worked on his scenes on his own and was prepared when the cameras rolled, and God help the actor who wasn't equally prepared. Of course, he flubbed his lines a lot that afternoon, so maybe that had something to do with this change in character. "Thanks," James smiled, walking past Kerr and looking around. "Nice place." "Oh, thanks. It's not much, but it's home," Kerr smiled as he closed the door and joined James in the apartment's living room. "So what did you want to work on in the scene?" "Well, Kerr, it's like this. I want to try and play it a different way. See, my theory has always been that Jack is totally hot for Dawson," James explained, saying the words he'd been practicing in his head. "Really? Well, I guess that makes some sense. But remember, Jack is also in a place where he's coming to terms with being gay slowly. He's not ready to express attractions or act on anything yet," Kerr explained the characterization of his own role. "Yeah, I get that. It's just, in this particular scene, I think Dawson feels a little attracted to Jack, too," James said softly. "What?" Kerr asked, surprised. "See, Dawson is totally straight. He's in love with Joey, we all know that. But at the same time, having Jack come out and being friends with him and suspecting that Jack's attracted to him... well, it all makes Dawson very curious. You know?" "Curious about what?" Kerr asked. "You know. How it would feel, letting Jack suck his cock. How it would feel to suck Jack's cock. What it would feel like to have hard, muscular flesh pressed against his," James said softly, staring intently into Kerr's eyes. "Re-really?" Kerr stuttered a little, unable to control his voice. "Yeah. See, since Jack's joined the football team, Dawson's been eyeing him in a new way. He's curious what it would be like to tackle Jack's tight end," James said the words so seriously that Kerr couldn't help but laugh a little. "Okay. I guess I can accept all that, James. But what does this have to do with how we're going to play the scene tomorrow?" Kerr asked. "Well, I just want to see how it would play. So can we run through it once right now, test it out?" James asked. "Sure, I guess. If you want to," Kerr said. He ran to get his script from his bedroom and came back to find James standing in the middle of the room, ready. "Hey, Dawson, wait up!" Kerr read his first line. "Hey, Jack. What's up?" James recited his own line from memory, putting the emphasis on the word 'up' to make it sound sexual. "I wanted to talk to you about Joey," Kerr continued to read his lines. "Why? I'm not exactly Joey's favorite person these days," James said, moving closer to Kerr. "I'm worried about her, she's-" Kerr stopped reading and gasped as James suddenly sank to his knees in front of him and started unzipping his jeans. "James, what the hell-" "Jack, you shouldn't worry about Joey. She can take care of herself. Speaking of taking care of yourself, aren't you getting tired of beating your meat alone in bed at night? I know I am," James stayed in character as he began to improvise. Kerr gasped as James reached inside his pants and grasped his cock, which was already starting to get hard. "What... what did you have in mind, Dawson?" Kerr asked, tossing the script to one side. "I was just thinking, Jack, you and I could have some fun together," James said softly as he brought his mouth to Kerr's cock, tasting another guy for the first time in his life. "Oh, Ja- Dawson, that feels soo good," Kerr moaned as James slowly but steadily took a few inches down his throat. "You taste good, Jack," James moaned. He began bobbing his head up and down the hard six inches sticking out of the fly of Kerr's pants. "Dawson, I've always fantasized about sucking your cock while you sucked mine," Kerr moaned. "Let's make that fantasy come true, then, Jack," James smiled, standing up and quickly removing his own pants as Kerr discarded his own. The two actors moved into position, each laying on their side facing the other's cock. Before James even had a chance to take Kerr's back into his mouth, his costar had already engulfed the entire length of James's hard cock. As the two lay there, each swallowing the others large cock, the ones blonde hair contrasting perfectly with the other's black hair, many thoughts went through James's mind. He couldn't believe he was actually sucking cock. Without ever admitting it to himself before, he'd always had a fantasy of doing so. Having a hard, fleshy cock in his mouth, dripping sweet pre cum felt incredible. Without warning, Kerr's cock suddenly exploded, filling James's mouth with a bitter flood of cum. The very taste sent such a thrill through his body that he felt his own climax arrive suddenly. The feeling of Kerr's warm mouth wrapped around his dick as his jizz burst from it was the most intoxicating feeling James had ever had. In the ecstasy of the moment, he greedily swallowed ever drop Kerr had deposited into his mouth. Both guys rolled away from one another so that they were lying on their backs, facing the ceiling. "That was incredible, Dawson," Kerr said. "You've got an incredible mouth, Jack," James replied. After a few moments of lying there, getting their breathing under control, James sat up. "Well, Kerr, thanks for working on the scene with me. I think we'd better play it more traditionally, though, when we're shooting tomorrow." "Yeah, I agree. After all, it is set in the cafeteria," Kerr smiled. ****************** Across the country, in a hotel room in Big Bear, California, Lance Bass tossed and turned in his sleep, shivering and calling out from time to time as his dreams took on the feverish forms of nightmares. To be continued. Write to colby4347@yahoo.com This is the final chapter in which James Van Der Beek will be included. The action is going to center around N Sync and the TRL crowd more now. :)