"Get Ready...Tonight...Gonna make this a night [love] to remember." by Shalamar
My Kinda Guy
A Love To Remember
Chapter 25
by JT Poole (Some Elements by
Nicole Brown)
It's early Sunday morning and I'm sitting outside across the street from my son's house. I've been driving by here for over a month now and I still haven't gotten up the needed courage to get out of this car and go knock on the front door. I don't know why I'm so afraid to go over there, I just need to bite the bullet and just get this over with. I know it'll probably cause some problems between the two of us at first but he'll get over it in time. I know John is a strong black man and I know this won't do to much damage to him right now. I just wish I was a better mother and never left him and Lydia Bell in the first place. I know I had problems back then but I just couldn't ignore the call. I know Auntie Addie did her best to help them and me but I never resisted those drugs like I should have. I just hope that when I cross the line over into his life, I don't completely ruin his life like I did Shannon's. Please Lawd, please shine your guiding light on me.
"Come on Cynthia, you got to get it together here," I say, sighing and then unsnapping the seatbelt to get out of the car. "I got to get a grip and just go on and do this. I've been here in this spot almost every day for over a month. I need to do this. I need to pick up the pieces of my broken family."
Checking myself in the rearview mirror, I straightened my hair up and then closed my eyes and said another prayer. I know the Lawd is watching over me and the cherin and I know he will help mend the hearts of John and Lydia Bell. I guess it's now or never.
"Hey you two cut it out!" Kevin shouts as Toby and Jaken were fighting at the table and throwing food at the other. "Boy don't make me beat your little heiny!"
"I'm sorree Kevin," Toby says, frowning now as he looked down at the table.
"You shouldn't have to be sorry, you shouldn't have been fighting in the first darn place," Kevin says, walking around the table and placing a bowl of oatmeal in front of Toby and another bowl in front of Jaken. "You should be ashamed of yourselves for fighting the way you do."
"He made hit him," Jaken says, looking down now too. "I don't want hit him but he hit me first."
"Why did you hit him first Toby?" Kevin asks, sitting down at the table now with his cup of coffee as he picked up the remote control and turned up the classical music that was softly playing throughout the kitchen, living room and in the hallways.
"He got my toy and I want it," Toby replies, looking at Jaken with a mean look on his face.
"Jake did you take his toy?" Kevin asks, looking at Jaken now.
"No, my toy, he lost his toy," Jaken replies, frowning now. "He took my toy and won't give it back."
"Is that true Toby, did you take his toy?" Kevin asks, taking another sip of his coffee as Toby looked away from him just as he looked up to see JT walking into the room.
"What's going on in here guys?" JT asks, looking at the sad look on Toby's face and the stern look on Kevin's. "Okay who farted at the table? Please tell me it wasn't Kevin. Whew, get him going and we'll have to run for the hills or something. I tell ya, yo daddy can pull the wallpaper off of walls with that stuff. Gas so bad he can blow a light bulb. You better breathe careful around him."
"No one farted at the table baby," Kevin says, frowning now as he got up and kissed JT passionately on the mouth. "How did you sleep? Are you feeling better this morning?"
"I'm feeling better than I was last night. Is there something wrong Kev?" JT asks, looking down at the boys and then back up to Kevin.
"Nothing out of the ordinary baby, just those two fighting again," Kevin replies, frowning as both Jaken and Toby looked down at the table.
"What did they do this time?" JT asks, pulling away from Kevin and looking at both of the boys as he sat down across from them in Kevin's chair.
"They were fighting again as usual," Kevin says, pouring a cup of coffee for JT and handing it to him.
"So I guess we have to punish them now," JT says, looking at Toby. "Who started it?"
"Toby as usual," Kevin says, sitting down next to JT and holding his hand.
"Fighting over toys again?" JT asks as Kevin nods his head.
"Yep, as always baby," Kevin says, taking a sip of his coffee. "What should we do about it? It seems my way of handling things haven't worked."
"I don't know what we should do Kevin," JT says, shaking his head. "Should we separate them?"
"Sep'rate us?" Toby asks, looking at JT and then over to Kevin. "Send me way?"
"What? No we're not sending you away Toby," JT says, getting up and walking around the table. "I'm thinking of putting you in your own room."
"On room? What four?" Toby asks, looking up at JT now. "Me be good, promise."
"You said that the other day Toby," Kevin says, getting up now. "We can't have you fighting every time you're faced with something you don't agree with."
"That's right Toby, the fighting has to stop and now," JT says, crossing his arms across his chest. "I can't deal with this hostility from you."
"Baby..." Kevin says as JT shook his head.
"I love you very much Toby but I'm not going to continue to deal with you screaming, hitting and acting out the way you are. Things need to change and now Toby," JT says as Addie dragged herself into the kitchen.
"Get outta my way Mista Creama," Addie says, pushing past Kevin and going over to the coffee pot to get herself a cup of coffee.
"Good morning Miss Addie," Kevin says, glaring at the woman as she started sipping her coffee.
"Ya'll fussing with that lil heathen again?" Addie asks, walking over to the table and sitting down. "I told ya'll if you beat his lil narra ass he wouldn't do what he doing."
"Addie stay outta this," JT says, glaring at her as she shook her head and pointed her finger at him.
"That lil heathen gonna be the death of ya'll," Addie says, getting up from the table and walking over to the stove. "I know you have to have patient with some cherin but not that one. Beat his ass and ever'body around hur will be happy. You know, ya'll really need to get a maid up in hur."
"We don't need a maid," Kevin says as Addie turned around and looked at him funny.
"Was I talking to you Mista Creama?" Addie asks, walking over to where Kevin stood and getting up in his face. "I get really tired of sayin' da same thang ta ya ever'day. One day you'll learn."
"Addie leave my husband alone. Better yet go back to your room or something," JT says, shaking his head now. "Toby we need to make some changes and now. Are you willing to change things and work with us?"
"Baby he probably doesn't know what..." Kevin says, looking at JT and then stopping when they all were distracted by a loud noise, sounding like it came from across the way. "What the hell was that?"
"Kevin," JT says, smacking his arms as the two of them ran out of the room.
"What's going on guys?" Tyler asks, running down the hall towards Kevin and JT.
"Don't know but I think it came from the garage," JT says, pressing a button on the wall to turn on the lights out in the main part of the house, leading to the garage.
"What the hell is going on?" Kevin asks as there was another loud crash and some screaming now. "That sounded like Aaron."
"Oh God, Aaron was here last night," JT says, looking at Kevin now as the three of them rushed to the garage as they all heard another scream.
"What the hell is going in there?" Kevin asks as the three of them ran towards the door that led to the garage as another loud crash could be heard.
"Justin? Aaron? What the hell is going on in here?" JT asks, standing in the doorway as Kevin and Tyler pushed him into the garage so they could see what was going on too.
"Ah JT, what're you doing up?" Aaron asks, popping Justin in the face now and moving away from him.
"You must be really whacked out if you didn't think all the noises you were making in here wouldn't wake people up. Besides, I was already awake," JT replies, narrowing his eyes at Aaron and then looking at Justin now. "What the hell are you two doing?"
"The brat was trying to kill me," Justin says, getting up off the floor and dusting off his clothes.
"Justin weren't you supposed to have been gone to your therapy session?" JT asks, looking at Justin questioningly.
"I was about to go when he cornered me in here and started hitting me," Justin says, walking over to JT.
"Aaron get inside now," Kevin says as Aaron looked at him funny. "You heard what I said Aaron."
"You're not the boss of me," Aaron says as JT turned around and glared at him.
"Okay I'm going," Aaron says, frowning as he kicked Justin on the leg and then ran inside the house.
"That lil scrawny white boy gon make me shoot him," JT says as he shook his head and moved over to Justin.
"He started this shit first JT. I didn't do anything to him. He did it all, I didn't even try to hit him back," Justin says as JT helped him brush off his clothes.
"Maybe you should have," JT says, standing straight up now. "Aaron's angry about what went on between you and Nick but that's not his business. You are dealing with what's going on in your life and that has nothing to do with him."
"I'm not going to hit him or anything. He has a right to try to kill me or something. I hurt his brother," Justin says, looking down as his cell phone starts ringing. "Hello?"
"I'm going back into the house to handle Aaron, we'll talk later," JT says, moving away from Justin as he went back into the house in search of Aaron.
I can't believe that fucker thought I wasn't going to get up in that ass! I told him a long time ago that if he ever did anything to hurt my brother I was going to fuck him up. I guess he didn't believe what I was telling him, he should've listened to me. I know JT and Kevin are trying to help him out because he's supposedly getting help but I don't care if he's going to his fucking therapy or not. Justin hurt my brother and I don't give a damn about him getting professional help, he needs to pay for what he did to Nicky. He brutally raped Nicky and left him for fucking dead. If it wasn't for Kevin and JT, Nicky might not be alive now. I don't understand why they are helping him the way they are. Justin is evil and he needs to pay for his crimes.
"I can't let him get away with hurting my brother the way he did," I say aloud as I turned around to see JT standing there.
"Well Aaron you are not the one to make him pay, it's not your business," JT says, walking over to me now. "That's between Nick and Justin and it doesn't include you. I know Nicky's your brother but right now, you can't go fighting for him, leave things alone."
"I can't...won't leave things along," I tell him. "Are you fucking crazy?"
"Sometimes I wonder that myself but no I'm not crazy Aaron," JT says, looking down and then back up to me. "Just leave Justin alone for right now. He's not well himself. He has some problems that he's not dealing with well. He's doing what he can to get help with his problems."
"I don't give a damn if he is getting help with his problems. Don't you care that he did what he did to Nicky?" I ask him as he walked over to me and hugged me.
"I care very much about what happened but its over and done with now Aaron," he says, rubbing my back now. "That's between Nick and Justin, not them and you. Leave Justin alone right now. I can't tell you the specifics of what's going on but Justin's going through some stuff that made him act out. At the time he wasn't in his right mind."
"I don't give a fuck about that JT!" I shout, crying in his arms now. "He could've killed Nicky! He promised to love and cherish Nicky! He wasn't supposed to hurt him like that! I asked him why and he just laid there on the ground, not doing anything! It was like he wanted me to hit him!"
"Justin's hurting Aaron," he says, sniffling now. "He's hurting very badly and right now there's nothing he can do to stop the hurt."
"JT! Baby come quick!" We heard Kevin's voice as JT let me go and ran towards the door.
"Kevin what's going on?" JT asks, standing out in the hallway.
"Addie's gone crazy and she's got her gun at a woman at the front of the house!" Kevin shouts as JT sighed and ran out of the room to go see what was going on.
"Don't make me ask you again girl, you better talk if you know what's good fo ya!" Addie shouts, waving her gun at the woman.
"I only came to see my baby boy," the woman says, backing away from Addie now. "Stop trying to keep me away from my child!"
"You did that all by yo'self Cynthia!" Addie shouts, walking closer to the woman with her gun, moving from side to side.
"Addie please...please let me see my son," the woman begs, dropping to her knees now. "I've changed Addie and I want my baby to see that I've changed."
"You can't change your damn spots ova night heffa!" Addie shouts, squeezing the trigger as a shot rang out through the air. "Get away from here Cynth and don't you come back!"
"Please Addie...please!" The woman screamed as Addie walked over to her. "I just want to see John. I won't stay for too long."
"You're not going to see him! Leave here and don't come back here girl!" Addie shouts as the door opened and Kevin and JT were standing there watching them.
"Addie what's going on out here? I thought I heard a gunshot," JT says, walking up slowly behind her, getting his first glimpse of the other woman out there. "Momma..."
"John Boy go back into the house," Addie says, trying to step in front of his view of the woman. "Just go back inside and let me handle this."
"What are you doing here momma?" JT asks, looking at the woman.
"I came to see you," the woman says, getting up off the ground as Addie turned around and kicked her down.
"I told you to leave here Cynth!" Addie says, waving the gun at the woman.
"Addie please stop," JT softly says, looking down now. "Don't hurt her."
"Boy have you lost your mind?" Addie asks, turning around to look at JT now. "Why are you trying to save her from getting what she deserves?"
"She doesn't deserve you beating her," JT says, still looking down now. "Just let her up and leave her alone."
"I'm only here to see my son and his chil'ren," the woman says as JT looked up at her.
"You've seen me, that's it," JT says, looking at the woman now. "You can't see the boys, so do as Addie says and just go."
"I can't do that baby. I came here for a reason," the woman says.
"What reason is that Cynth? You came here to use him and try to scam money from him? Get him to forgive you for being a sorry ass motha? What is it that you came here for Cynth?" Addie asks, shaking the gun in the woman's face now.
"I just came here to try to make amends for what I've done in the past. I know I wasn't a good mother but I want to try," the woman says, looking at JT now. "Please baby, please let me show you...show you that I've changed."
"I just told yo ass that you can't change yo damn spots ova night heffa!" Addie shouts, moving over to the woman. "Leave here Cynth!"
"Stop Addie," JT says obviously crying now.
"Mista Creama get him into the house or something," Addie says, looking at Kevin now. "He don't need to be out here right now."
"No Kevin, leave me be," JT says, looking up at the woman. "Have you really changed Momma?"
"Yes, I've changed, I hope for the better," the woman says, looking at JT now. "Please baby, let me show you that."
"I'm not gon tell you again Cynth!" Addie shouts, waving her hand at Cynthia.
"Addie it's alright," JT says, moving closer to the woman now.
"Are you sure boy?" Addie asks, looking at JT and then turning around to look at Kevin.
"Y-yeah," JT answers her as he looked at the woman again and then turned to look at Addie. "Why don't we all go inside, get you cleaned up and then we can all sit down and talk."
"Thank you son," the woman says as Addie glares at him.
"I'm sorry I'm late," Justin says, walking into the woman's office and shaking her hand.
"It's okay Mister Timberlake; I actually cleaned out my calendar for you this morning. I don't have any appointments until way after lunch," the woman tells him as she walked over to some chairs and took a seat. "We have some time to talk and what not. Please have a seat."
"I thank you very much," Justin replies, sitting down in front of her.
"So why are you late if you don't mind me asking?" The woman asks, looking at him.
"I had some troubles...troubles with my brother-in-law this morning as I was getting ready to leave," Justin answers, looking down now. "We had a small altercation."
"You had a small altercation? How small and was the police involved?" The woman asks him.
"No the police wasn't involved but my friend, the one I was telling you about last time, the US Marshall one was. He broke things up and sent me on my way," Justin tells her and then looks away.
"So what started this altercation Mister Timberlake?" The woman asks, looking at Justin and then noticing that he was crying now. "Are you okay Mister Timberlake?"
"N-no I'm not," Justin replies, looking down at his hands now. "How do I or anyone else for that matter know that I'm better and not just faking?"
"Faking?" The woman asks, looking at Justin now. "Why ask that Mister Timberlake?"
"Aaron, the brother-in-law, said that I was only faking and that I needed to be in prison for what I've done to his brother," Justin says, sniffling now. "When he was hitting me, I didn't do anything, I just let him hit me. I felt like I deserved to be hit."
"So your brother-in-law, his name is Aaron, attacked you and said that you were faking progress?" The woman asks as Justin nods his head.
"He thinks that I went into therapy to avoid dealing with what I've done," Justin tells her. "He was screaming over and over at me that I was a worthless loser that deserved to die and I truly believe him."
"You shouldn't believe that Mister Timberlake," the woman says, getting up and walking over to her desk, picking up a folder and then walking back over to her seat. "Doctor James says that you're doing better at controlling your temper and that your last three tests came back negative for any form of outside stimulus."
"No, I haven't had a drink since that night and I'm trying not to ever drink anything again," Justin replies, wiping at his eyes now. "I tried to use alcohol to take me away from what was going on but it only made things worse for me."
"When outside stimulants are involved, things always get worse before the end," the woman tells him as he got up from his seat.
"He's still hurting people," Justin says, walking to the windows in the room and looking down. "He's hurting my brothers and a cousin."
"How do you know he's hurting someone else Mister Timberlake?" The woman asks him.
"I talked to my brother Jon the other morning and he asked me for help," Justin tells her. "I couldn't help my brother because I'm scared to trust myself. I'm scared that I'll do something to...to hurt him like I hurt Nicky."
"Would you actually hurt your brother the same way you hurt your lover?" The woman asks, still seated across the room. "You had no control of that moment Mister Timberlake. You were under the influence of an outside stimulant."
"No, I'm scared that I'll only let him down...let him down like I let Nicky down. I promised Nicky a long time ago before we got married that I wouldn't drink again and I broke that promise to him. I don't want to make a promise to Jon and end up hurting him too."
"Sometimes we can't honor all of our promises," the woman tells him.
"Well if I can't help my brother, then what use am I to anyone? I've let my husband down and my brother and I don't even want to get into what my mother thinks of me right now," Justin says, shaking his head now. "Since she found out, she hasn't spoken two words to me."
"Well just give her some time and I'm sure she'll come around," the woman tells him. "Some times when people hear or find out something like this they need time for it to sink in."
"That's the problem, it sunk in and she's repulsed by me just like everyone else," Justin says, sniffling now. "I wish he would've just killed me and none of this would be going on right now. If Uncle Ken would've killed me, I wouldn't have hurt Nicky the way I did."
"Mister Timberlake you shouldn't..." the woman starts as Justin interrupts her.
"I shouldn't feel that way but I do. I wish he killed me and I wouldn't be here going through this pain," Justin says, sniffling again and then looking up. "I can't continue living like this. The pain is too much to take. I'm a hazard to myself, don't let me get me."
"Mister Timberlake that's not a good way to think about things," the woman tells him.
"Well that's how I feel and I don't know if I'll ever feel any differently about it," Justin says, turning away from the woman.
TO BE CONTINUED...
I don't know any of the members of «N SYNC, Backstreet Boys or any other celebrities mentioned. I don't know anything about their sexual orientation or the orientation of any other celebrities in this story (even though I wish some of them were gay). This story is fiction and you shouldn't take it for anything else but that. This is for entertainment value only folks.