My New Life
This story is the sole property of its author and may not be copied in whole or in part without the permission of the author. The posting of this story on any web site must be with the author's prior knowledge and permission.
This story deals with the fictional relationship between the members of the musical groups *Nsync, Backstreet Boys (And who ever else shows up in the story.) and a male fan. The sexual orientation of the members of *Nsync or the Backstreet Boys are not known by the author and what is depicted in the story came from the imagination of the author.
If you are not 18 years old or it is illegal in your area to view such material please read something else.
"Lance, phone. Sara wants to talk to you," JC said holding out the phone to Lance.
"Hi Sara, what's up?"
"Hey kiddo, how is it going with you and my brother?"
"Josh told me you guys will be on the road all day tomorrow," Sara started out. "I just have a quick question. Has Marc been acting differently the last few days?"
"Yeah, kind of. He's just. I don't know. Been acting different. But in a good way," Lance added.
"Dad and I thought you should be warned. Tomorrow Marc is going to need all your love and understanding. Being on the road will make tomorrow twice as hard on everyone. You just have to be there for him and remember that you did nothing to bring this on."
"Sara, you are scaring me," Lance said.
"What's going to happen to Marc tomorrow?"
Marc had uploaded the newest update to the *Nsync web site. Howie was standing behind him looking over his shoulder as Marc checked to make sure all the links worked.
"I can't believe you did that so fast." Howie said.
"It was just adding text and a few pictures to a template page I already set up," Marc said. "Management had already approved the photos. I just added some text and upload it for Johnny to ok." Marc's computer announced `You've Got Mail.' "That should be Johnny now." Opening his e-mail, Marc confirmed what he already knew; Johnny had approved the addition. After uploading the final html file that activated the new addition, Marc closed down his laptop for the night.
"How we doing on time?" Marc asked.
Checking his watch Howie said, "Brit should be going on in ten minutes."
"Cool, let's go find a safe place to watch the show," Marc said.
Lance handed the cell phone back to JC. "Thanks," Lance said softly.
"Any time," JC said with a smile. Sensing there was something off about Lance he asked. "Are you all right?"
Frowning Lance said, "I'm not sure."
"Did Sara say something?"
"Yeah, she wanted to warn me about something."
"Warn you about what?" JC quizzed.
"Marc. She said he may have some problems tomorrow."
"What kind of problems?"
"She couldn't tell me. Just that for some reason the 20th of July is really hard on him emotionally."
"So this has happened before?"
"Yeah, Sara said that Marc seems to change a few days before the 20th. He loose interest in things that would normally be important and gets kind of crazy. Then on the 20th he becomes withdrawn. Doesn't want to be around anyone or talk to anyone. Last year Sara said he went running and didn't stop until he was exhausted them he sleep the rest of the day."
"Well that wouldn't be a problem, we are bussing it tomorrow. We'll all be sleeping most of the day."
"That is the problem," Lance said. "Marc will be trapped on the bus. There is no outlet for him. He can't run himself to exhaustion. So what ever feeling Marc has will eventually come out but she doesn't know in what form."
"Oh, I see what you mean. What can we do for him?"
"Just be understanding. What ever Marc may say or do tomorrow we just have to realize it is not the Marc we all know and love."
"We'll be there for him," JC affirmed.
"We may be lucky and nothing will happen," Lance sighed.
The door opened and a production assistant announced, "Ten minutes, guys."
The shouting from the crowd continued on for almost ten minutes after the guys left the stage. Evidentially the thousands of young hysterical fans realized there was not going to be a third encore. Howie and Marc had to hide offstage not wanting to take the chance any of the audience would spot Howie and start a stampede. Security finally let them know the way was clear.
"Good show, guys," Marc said as they entered the dressing room. Going over to where Lance was sitting Marc joined him. "Good show James," leaning in and giving him a light kiss.
"It was a tiring show; I'm beat," Lance said.
"Let's get you cleaned up and we can go get some rest."
"Sounds good," Lance said as Chris came out of the restroom. Grabbing their bags they headed for their shower. Once inside they both began to undress in silence. Marc turned on the water adjusting the temperature. Lance was by his side when the temperature was just right. Taking Lance's hand Marc pulled him into the shower.
Marc gave Lance a soft kiss. "You really look tired."
"I am. . . . . . Would you be too mad if we just showered?"
"No. Not at all," Marc said as he began to wash Lance. With weeks of practice, Marc had Lance quickly clean and smelling better. After rinsing off Lance leaned against the tiled wall with a slight smile. "That felt good."
"Just stand right there," Marc said as he quickly washed himself.
"I wanted to do that," Lance protested.
"You can do it next time," Marc said. "You are about to fall asleep standing up."
Lance just nodded as he closed his eyes.
Chris looked out the tour bus window in shock, "I don't believe it."
"Believe what?" Joey asked.
"Look," Chris said pointing at the approaching duo. "That had to have been the quickest shower they have ever taken."
Lance and Marc climbed aboard the bus to the questioning stares of their friends. "What?" Marc asked with a frown.
"Have you two had a fight or something?" Chris asked.
"No. We're all right. Why?" Marc asked.
"Well that has to be the shortest shower you two ever took," Joey said. "A new record."
"It's been a long day. We're just tired," Marc said as Lance leaned back against him.
JC laughed, "You better put him to bed before he falls asleep standing up."
"Ok, good night guys," Marc said. "Come on Colonel, your bed chamber awaits."
Lance awoke snuggled up next to his still sleeping lover. Soft light could be seen filtering in around the edges of the curtains. It was still early, just after six and breakfast stop was still several hours away. Lance lay there studying his lover as he slept. Watching his eye movement as he dreamed Lance wondered what he was dreaming about.
The sun was high in the sky as Marc squinted up through the pine trees. He was wondering through the woods not really sure why he was there. He knew he was looking for something but not sure what. Usually this feeling of not knowing what was going on would upset him but for some reason this time it didn't. Marc realized he'd had this dream before. Dream! That's it. This is a dream.
Marc came to a clearing in the woods. Standing at the edge of the forest Marc looked out into the clearing drinking in the vibrant colors of the wild flowers. His attention was drawn to the sound of a van coming into the clearing. It stopped at the far side and Marc could see the doors open and a family climbs out. Marc sprinted across the field hoping to see the family. As he neared he stopped in his tracks as he gazed upon the family. The family with no faces. Marc's heart sunk when he realized once again he was looking at this same faceless family.
"Why! Why do I have to have this dream again!" Marc shouted. The ache in his heart grew till it felt like it would burst. "Why!" Marc wailed
Marc felt a hand on his shoulder. "Matt**, you're here."
"Hi, buddy. I thought you needed someone right now," Matt said.
"Thanks, I do."
Matt looked at the scene before them. "Oh, this dream again."
Frowning Marc asked, "Again? How did you know I've had this dream before?"
"I've been around a long time," Matt said.
Matt didn't answer. Marc realized he couldn't give him an answer. "Why do I keep having this dream?"
"Why do you think you keep having this dream?" Matt asked.
"I'm not sure."
"Tell me about the dream," Matt urged.
"Well. . . . it starts out the same. A van pulls into this clearing. The family gets out and has a picnic."
"Tell me about the family."
"There's not much to tell. There is a mom and dad. And three kids."
Marc frowned, "They have no faces, how can I describe them?"
Taking Marc by the shoulders Matt turned him toward the family. "Tell me about the man over there. Look at him and tell me what you see."
Marc studied the man not sure what Matt wanted. "He is tall, six one, maybe six two. Dark brown hair. I can't tell what color eyes he has because he has no face."
"Forget about the face. Tell me what else you see."
"He has a pretty good build. He looks like he may have been a runner when he was younger. I don't think he does much running any more."
"He has the start of a pouch around the middle. Probably it's his job that keeps him from working out."
"Good. What about the mother?"
"She's a little shorter than the dad. She looks about five eight. She had blond hair and it looks natural not a dye job," Marc said with a smile. "She is so graceful; when she moves it's almost like a dancer."
"What about the kids?"
Marc laughed as he watched the three boys run in the field. They were playing tag and the youngest was trying to tag the other two. "The two older boys are almost six feet tall, dark hair like their dad. Good strong build, both probably into sports."
"Why are you describing them as if they were the same?" Matt asked.
"Because they are the same. I mean they look the same. Like they are twins."
"How do you know they are twins?"
"I don't know. It's just a feeling. I know we are twins."
"What do you mean?" Marc asked.
"You said, we are twins."
"I did?. . . I'm not sure why but I get the feeling we are twins."
Matt looked at the two older boys and smiled. "Yes, I can see it now. The two of you do look alike."
"What do you mean, we look alike?" Marc asked as he followed Matt's gaze. The two older boys turned back toward their parents with big smiles on their faces laughing as they dodged out of the reach of their younger brother. "That's me," Marc said pointing to one of the boys. Marc could clearly see that was one of the boys was a younger version of himself. Looking at the other boy he noticed the same face was there but not quite as clear, like their was some kind of vale across it. "Why only faces on me and my twin?"
"I'm not sure," Matt said. "When you accepted that one of the boys was you, your mind filled in the blank."
"But why is my brother kind of fuzzy?"
"You know he is your twin. But you don't really know if he looks exactly like you."
"My features are clear because I know what I look like," Marc stated. "But I don't remember my twin brother. I'm not sure what he looks like so his features are cloudy."
"That's about it," Matt said. "What about the little one?"
Marc smiled, "He must look like Mom with his blond hair. He looks like he may be around five or so." Marc laughed as the little one finally caught Marc, pulling him to the ground and the young boy started to tickle his older brother.
"It looks like you got along well with your younger brother," Matt pointed out.
"Yes, it does."
The three boys looked up to see their mother beckoning them back. They arose and ran to their parents where their picnic was all set up.
"Marc, what do you see when you look at them now?" Matt asked.
Looking at the animated group as the talked and ate their meal Marc smiled. "I see a very happy family."
"My family," Marc said firmly. "My family was very happy and loving."
"Marc, you said before that you have had this dream before. How many times have you had this dream?"
"I'm not sure. I don't think I remember this dream when I'm awake. But now, in here, I think I have had this dream once a year since I woke up in the hospital."
"Do you feel this is a bad dream?" Matt asked.
"No! Not at all. I see now that this is a good dream."
"Why is it a good dream?" Matt prodded.
"It's good because it was the last time I was truly happy with my family." Marc said.
"Why is it the last time?"
"Because, . . . when they leave here every one but me will die," Marc said sadly.
"How do you know they are going to die?"
"I had another dream; I saw them all die," Marc said in a low voice. "I don't want to go there again. I just want to remember this happy time."
"I understand my friend," Matt said as he placed an arm around Marc's shoulder.
Lance was watching Marc's expressions change as he dreamed. What ever he was dreaming it seemed to make his happy because he was smiling. But something happened and his smile vanished and he looked sad. Lance felt a shudder pass through Marc. Placing his arms around Marc he hugged him tight.
Marc awoke to powerful arms wrapped around him. Slowly opening his eyes Marc found himself looking into the green eyes of his lover. Leaning in Marc softly kissed Lance. "Morning," Marc said. "How long have you been awake?"
"Oh, about an hour," Lance said.
"What time is it?"
"A little after seven," Lance said pulling Marc closer to him I guess we should get up, we will be stopping for breakfast soon."
"Do we have to?" Marc asked as he snuggled up to Lance. "I wouldn't mind staying like this."
The *Nsync caravan pulled off the highway, pulling into their breakfast stop. Arrangements had been made for them to use a large banquet room where a breakfast buffet was waiting for them.
Marc sat down with his plate between Lance and JC. JC glanced at Marc's plate, "Just fruit this morning?"
"I'm not really hungry," Marc said as he ate a piece of melon.
JC kept trying to get Marc to join in the conversation but only managed to get one or two word answers out of him. Lance watched Marc moved the fruit around his plate. "Are you all right?"
"Yeah, . . . just not hungry," Marc said with a shrug.
Marc remained quiet most of the rest of the breakfast stop. Marc was getting up from the table when Lance put his hand on Marc's arm. "Anything wrong?"
"No. Just going to the bathroom," Marc said with a weak smile. Ten minutes passed and Marc had not returned. Lance went into the men's restroom and found it empty. Walking up to security Lance asked, "Have you seen Marc?"
"He went out to the bus a little while ago."
"Thanks," Lance said as Joey and Howie came over.
"What's up?" Joey asked.
"Marc said he was going to the bathroom," Lance said. "But he never came back."
"Did you check?" Howie asked pointing to the mens room.
"Yeah, he didn't go there. Security said he went out to the bus."
"Are you and Marc having some problems?" Howie asked. "He seems so down."
"No, we are ok. He's just having a bad day," Lance said looking out the window at their tour bus.
"Let's go check on him," Joey said with a sigh.
The three friends went out to the tour bus as they climbed aboard they noted the Marc was not in the front of the bus. Making their way to the back lounge they expected to find him curled up on the bed. When the door was opened they found the room empty.
"Are you sure he came out here?" Howie asked.
"That's what security said." a worried Lance answered.
"Quiet!" Joey said. An unidentifiable sound could be heard. Slowly they moved toward the front of the bus searching for the source of the sound.
"It's coming from the bathroom," Howie whispered.
Lance rapped softly on the door. "Marc, are you in there?"
"Le, leave me alone," Marc said between sobs.
"Shit!" Lance cursed as he found the door locked. "Joe go get the key from the driver."
Joey returned with the key and unlocked the door. Lance entered finding Marc curled up in a ball in the shower. Kneeling next to Marc, Lance put a hand on Marc's shoulder, "Marc, what's wrong?"
"Nothing!" Marc snapped. "Leave me alone."
Lance was surprised at Marc's outburst. "I'm not going to leave you alone. Come on. Let's go lay down and talk this out," Lance said as he reached out to pull Marc up. Marc didn't move just pulling himself into a tighter ball. "Joey, can you get him out of there?"
"Come on buddy. Lets get out of here," Joey said as he picked Marc up. "Christ, he is heavy." Carrying Marc into the lounge Joe placed him on the bed.
Lance lay down with Marc wrapping his arms around him as Marc sobbed into his shoulder. Lance rubbed his back as he told him to go ahead and let it out giving him all the comfort and love he had.
The rest of the group climbed on the bus and was met with the sound of sobbing coming from the rear of the bus. Howie came through the curtains as Chris asked, "What's going on? Who's crying?"
"It's Marc; he's really upset about something," Howie said.
"Did he have a fight with Lance?" Justin asked with concern in his voice.
"No, there was no fight. We found Marc curled up in the bathroom crying."
Chris said, "I wonder what's going on?" .
"I know a little about what's going on," JC said.
All eyes turned to JC. "Yesterday Sara called me. Before she hung up she asked to talk to Lance. She wanted to warn Lance that for some reason Marc gets really depressed on the 20th of July. He usually would run until exhaustion then sleep the rest of the day. But he can't do that this year since we bussing it."
"What can we do for him?" Justin asked.
"Lance and Joey are trying to get him quieted down now. Lance thinks he can get him to sleep some if he holds him. Right now Marc is just clinging to someone as an anchor."
"Marc and Lance won't have to go through this alone," JC said. "There are a lot of arms here that can hold him." The others nodded in agreement.
Marc eventually calmed down having cried himself out and sleep over took him.
Everyone looked up as Joey came up front.
"Well?" Howie asked.
"He's doing better. Lance managed to get him to fall asleep."
The rest of the day each of the guys took turns relieving Lance with Marc. He would wake briefly as the person holding him changed. Marc would snuggle back into the new person and fall back to sleep.
Marc awoke late in the evening. The call of nature had gotten too much for him to ignore. Marc smiled at the sight of Joey stretched out on the other side of the bed. Turning over he found Howie's strong arms had been holding him. As he tried to slip out of the bed Howie woke up.
"Where you going?" Howie asked.
"Bathroom, I have to pee."
"Are you all right?"
"Yeah, I'm a lot better," Marc said as he left the lounge. Going into the bunk are Marc could hear Chris in his bunk snoring away. After making a pit stop he made his way to the front of the bus stopping at the frig grabbing a bottle of O J. Lance, Justin and JC looked up as Marc stepped out of the kitchen and sat down next to Lance.
"How you doing babe?" Lance asked.
"A lot better. . . . I want to thank you all for putting up with me today."
"Hey, everyone is entitled to have a bad day every once in a while," Justin said trying to lighten the mood.
"I want to thank the two of you for spending time with me. By holding me you made me feel safe and I appreciate the gesture."
"You knew we were there?" JC asked.
"Yeah, I could feel and smell the difference," Marc chuckled. "You all wear different colognes for one. And the different size bodies was another give away."
"Ah, the great Marc. He can identify the members of *Nsync with his eyes closed," Justin kidded.
"It's not that hard," Marc said. "Lance I know before he even touches me. I can sense him when he walks into the room. Joey, he's a teddy bear. He's big and soft and a gentle cuddlier. Howie because of his size just didn't fit my backside like the rest of you. His strength was soothing back rubs. You two," Marc said eyeing JC and Justin. "At first I wasn't sure who was who. You are both good cuddlier's."
"Our cologne gave us away," Justin said.
"No, actually I think you both wear the same cologne. The difference was Josh softly sang to me."
"You seemed to be restless so I did what my mom always did when I had trouble sleeping."
"What did you sing?" Justin asked.
"That's between me, Josh and his mama," Marc pointed out.
"What about Chris?" Lance asked.
Marc smiled, "Ah, papa bear. Once he figured out I wasn't in any shape to jump his bones he relaxed and got into cuddling."
"That was a big step for him," Justin laughed. "After the last time you two got that close."
"Yeah, he has been kind of gun shy since I frenched him," Marc chuckled.
"You do realize, he overcame his fear of you because he was concerned about you," Lance pointed out.
"I know," Marc said as a goofy grin spread across his face.
"What?" Justin asked.
"I just realized I'm probably the only person who can say that they have slept with every member of *Nsync," Marc laughed. "And a Backstreet Boy."
"There are several million girls out there would give anything to be you," Justin agreed.
"You seem to be in a better mood," Lance said as he rubbed Marc's leg under the table.
"Yes, I feel a lot better. Except, right now I'm really hungry."
"I wonder why?" JC said. "You haven't had much of anything since last night."
"Have you ever tried taking this bus through a drive thru?" Marc asked.
Lance laughed, "I don't think it would fit. We are due for a fuel stop and driver change. Maybe you could get something to eat."
When the caravan pulled into the large truck stop for fuel Marc wanted to dash over to the restaurant for something to eat. Lance didn't think it was safe so he gave security a call and had them pick up burgers and fries. Marc had ordered three hamburgers and a double order of fries. Lance couldn't believe he was going to eat all that.
Marc emptied the contents of the bag onto the table and settled down for his only meal of the now night. Marc was eating his first burger when Lance started to swipe some of his fries. "I thought you weren't hungry?"
"I'm not really. The fries smelled good."
"Not as good as this burger."
"Can I have a bite?" Lance asked.
"Nope, this is all mine," Marc said as he turned a little away from Lance.
"Just a small bite," Lance whined.
"No way, this tastes too good to share," Marc teased.
"Oh, all right," Marc said as he picked up one of the burgers and handed it to Lance.
"I only wanted a bite," Lance protested.
"Dear, I've shared with you before, a small bite will mean at least half the sandwich. That's why I ordered you a sandwich and fries."
"Thanks, I wasn't hungry until I smelled your food."
They finished their food then Marc turned out all the lights in the front of the bus. Pulling Lance over to the couch they sat down with Lance sitting between Marc's legs and wrapped in Marc's embrace.
They sat looking out the window at the passing lights of the town then the growing darkness as they moved out of the city. They didn't talk for a long time. That's not right, there was communication, but not verbal. Lance would run his fingers lightly over the hair on Marc's arm. Marc would lightly rub Lance's chest stopping to feel the beating of his heart. Eventually their hands came together and their fingers intertwined. The further away from the city they traveled the darker it got and the brighter the stars showed. Marc leant down and softly kissed the top of Lances head.
"What happened today?"
Marc sighed, "I'm not really sure but I do have an idea."
"You were so sad today I wasn't sure what to do."
"You all did the right things. I just needed something to anchor me. You all gave me what I needed."
"Sara said that you would have a bad day today."
"Oh, you talked to her?"
"Yeah, Josh got a call from her last night and she asked to talk to me."
"What did she say?"
"That you would have a bad day. For some reason this happens every July 20th and she just wanted to let me know what might come up."
"So you were aware of my coming break down," Marc said. "I think I've figured out why this happens every July 20th."
Marc sighed, "This is going to be hard to explain. I think I need to tell you about someone I've been seeing."
Lance turned his head to look at Marc. "You've been seeing someone?"
"Ah, that's not what I meant to say. Now how can I explain this. . . Remember when I told you about the dream I had about Britney and her bouncing boobs?"
"Yeah," Lance said.
"Well, I didn't tell you everything. . . . It was during that dream I became aware that I was dreaming and that I could control what was happening. And since it was a dream what ever happened only happened in the dream not in real life."
"So you gave Britney big boobs."
"Yeah, I did. You know my warped sense of humor. Well when Brit knocked herself out someone thought it was quite funny."
"Someone other than you?" Marc asked.
"Yeah, standing off to the side was this guy. I've never seen this guy before, he was just standing there roaring with laughter."
"Was he part of the dream?" Lance asked.
"That's the thing. He wasn't part of the dream. He was just visiting."
"How can someone visit a dream?"
"Well, Matt, that's the guys name, said he was a dream walker. He has the ability to visit other peoples dreams."
"So this Matt guy is real?"
"Yes, I think so."
"Then if he is real you can check him out," Lance said.
"No that's not possible."
"Because he doesn't exist in our world."
"I thought you said he was real."
"He is. Matt lives on another plane of existence."
Lance looked completely confused.
"Lance, in order for you to understand this you need to accept certain things. One is that there are hundreds of different planes of existence. Each basically has the same timeline but each with slight differences. All these worlds share certain, mile posts, in their history."
"What kind of mile posts?"
"They share most of the same historical figures. George Washington, Napoleon, Hitler, Elvis, the Beatles and a group named *Nsync."
"There is more than just one *Nsync?" Lance asked.
"From what Matt told me there may be hundreds," Marc said. "Each with the same five, very talented guys but each group a little different,"
"If they are the same guys how can they be different?"
"Different choices in their lives set each person on different courses. Some of the groups are very successful and others didn't last long. And personal relationships have a big influence on their world."
"What kind of relationships do I have?" Lance asked.
"Ah, Matt said he has found you have both gay and straight relationships."
Lance chuckled, "Who am I with on the gay side?"
"Well I hope you don't take this wrong but James you seem to be a sexual rabbit. One way or the other you have relationships with most everyone."
"All the other guys?"
"Matt said all of you have been involved with each other. Except for Chris."
"What's wrong with Chris?"
"Matt hasn't found a gay Chris. In all the worlds/realities he has visited Chris has always been the stud of the group. Totally heterosexual."
"Ok, I understand about all the different possible worlds/realities. What about the Matt guy?"
"He is a dream walker, he can visit the dreams of people on these different worlds/realities. He observes what's going on in their dreams."
"Does he become part of the dream?"
"No. No one knows he is there, he just observes."
"But you knew he was there," Lance pointed out.
"Only because he laughed. Otherwise I wouldn't have known he was there."
"Does Matt have a relationship with us in his world/reality?" Lance asked.
"Yes, he does," Marc said with a sly smile.
"With me? Am I with him?"
"No. He is with Joey. And it turns out you married his niece. Making Matt your uncle-in-law."
"Joey?" Lance said with surprise.
"Remember each world/reality is different," Marc reminded him.
"Marc, how many times have you seen Matt?"
"Twice. He visited last night."
"Oh! Why last night? Did something happen?"
Marc nodded, "I was in a pine forest walking down a path. I came to a big clearing and looked out over a sea of wild flowers. As I stood there I noticed a van drive into the clearing and stop. I realized then that I have had this dream before. I ran over to see who was in the van, hoping to see my family."
"Was it your family?" Lance asked.
"Yes, a family of five faceless people. I was so hoping that this time there would be some answers."
"But there were none. Right?"
"I thought not. But then Matt joined me."
"Was he able to tell you anything?"
"No. Matt keeps what he knows to himself."
"That doesn't sound like much of a friend," Lance snorted.
"James, you have to understand that Matt was never supposed to have interacted with me. It was an accident that I ever found out about him. So he is very careful about what he tells me."
"Was he able to help you with any of this at all?" Lance asked.
"Yes. He kind of guided me through the dream. He made me question what was happening. And in doing so he opened my eyes to a loving mom and dad, a kid brother that seems to adore me and a twin brother. Matt made me see that this was not a bad dream but a very good dream. James, I had a mom and dad and two brothers. And we were a very happy family."
"How does this dream fit in with what happened today?"
"Actually it doesn't have anything to do with today's breakdown. The dream is meant to show that we were a happy family and that picnic in the clearing in the woods was the last time we were happy together. After leaving the clearing they drove into the path of a truck and they all died."
"So today was. . . ."
"My reaction to my family's death," Marc stammered. "Last night's dream was a balance of some sorts. The happy family memory to off set the tragic lost of the in my other dream."
"And today you mourned their loss," Lance said understanding.
It was almost one thirty when Lance and Marc decided to call it a night. They had both stopped to use the bathroom one last time before heading for bed. Marc found Lance standing in the doorway looking at something. Wrapping his arms around Lance's waist Marc looked over his shoulder to see Joey and Howie sleeping on one side of the bed. The unusual thing was that Joey and Howie were spooned with Joey's arms wrapped around Howie.
"Interesting," Marc whispered into Lance's ear.
"Do you think. . . . "
"Maybe, . . . I'm tired, let's go to bed."
Marc was able to sleep only a few hours. The previous day's emotional roller coaster had really screwed up his internal clock. He was wide-awake as the sun brightened the day. Lying next to Lance listening to the cadence of his breathing and feeling the beat of his heart through the hand on his chest. Marc offered up a silent prayer of thanks for the joy he felt holding the man he loved and surrounded by friends that loved him.
The movement of the bus brought Joey out of his slumber. Joey opened his eyes looking to see if he was holding Marc again. But the man in his arms was a lot smaller. Recognizing the long brown hair he knew it was Howie he was snuggled up to. A twinge of panic surfaced. Looking across the bed he saw Lance and Marc spooned together. Marc's eyes were open and he was watching him with a smiling. Just as Joey was about to panic and push himself away from Howie Marc whispered, "Joe, it's all right."
Marc's words had a calming effect of him. Joey started to relax a bit. Marc gave Joe a slight nod then closed his eyes and drifted back to sleep.
Marc's watch alarm went off at eight thirty. Rolling away from Lance, Marc lifted the curtain and glanced out the window. They were coming into Carson City and Marc knew it wouldn't be too long before they arrived at their hotel. Giving Lance a waking rub on the chest he said, "James, you need to wake up now. We're almost at the hotel."
Lance stretched with a sigh, "I'm still tired. Can't we sleep longer?"
"You can sleep after we check in," Marc said as he gave Lance a kiss on the cheek. "Hey, guys, it's time to wake up," Marc said louder.
Howie and Joey stretched and yawned in unison. `Synchronized yawning,' Marc thought with a chuckle.
Lance bolted up and said, "I get the bathroom first."
As Lance was leaving Marc called after him, "Get the others up while you're out there."
"K," Lance said as he dashed out the door.
"Do you think he had to go bad?" Howie chuckled.
"It looks like it," Joey said with a laugh. Looking over at Marc, Joey got serious. "Are you all right?"
"I feel a lot better. . . . I want to thank you both for being there for me. Yesterday I found out just what kind of friends I really have."
"Hey, like it or not we're your family," Joey said. "And family stick together. I know you would do the same for any of us."
As Marc made his way to the front of the bus he could see everyone was up and dressing. Checking with the driver he found out they were only fifteen minutes away from the hotel. Marc sat at the table as he pulled out his cell. Checking for messages he saw he had a text message waiting for him from Lynn. Marc read the message in silence as an uneasy feeling came over him.
Justin staggered out of the bunk area and mumbled "morning" as he flopped onto the couch. The others soon followed, all still half asleep. As Marc went back to get his shoes he passed Howie.
"Howie, got a sec?"
"Sure, what's up?"
"I just got a heads up from Lynn. There is a chance that Brian may be meeting us at the hotel."
"I guess this is as good a time to talk out our problem as any," Howie sighed. "Marc, thanks for letting me know about Brian."
"Your welcome, bud. I just didn't want you to walk into something unprepared," Marc said. "Is Joey still in the lounge?"
"Yeah, he sure is a slow waker upper," Howie chuckled.
Going into the lounge Marc found Joey sitting on the edge of the bed in a daze. "You all right, Joe?" Marc asked.
"I'm not sure," Joey mumbled.
After stepping into his shoes Marc sat down next to Joey. "What's on your mind?"
"Ah, I feel kind of funny about the way I woke up this morning."
"Why would you feel funny about waking up?" Marc asked.
"Ah, waking up with Howie."
"Did Howie say anything?" Marc asked.
"No. He just got up, acted like nothing unusual happened."
"Joe, nothing did happen. The two of you just woke up in each other's arms."
"But I don't remember starting out that way."
"Joe, when I woke up last night Howie was the one holding me. You had fallen asleep also. When Lance and I returned to the lounge Howie had scooted close to you and you had pulled him into you."
"I, I didn't mean to do that," Joey stammered.
"Joe, don't worry about it. You were both asleep and warm bodies tend to gravitate toward each other," Marc said. "And I know from experience you are a good man to cuddle up to."
Joe smiled slyly, "You didn't have too much trouble getting comfortable yesterday when I held you."
Marc blushed at Joe's statement, "Joe, you are a loving and caring man. I felt that from the beginning. I also know that what physical contact I've had with you was enjoyable."
"We haven't had that much contact."
"More than you realize. When we were on the road trip and I was too tired to drive you let me sleep up against you. If I remember right you held me most of the trip home. And the night Justin fell asleep in your bed we slept together and that night we ended up cuddling. I'm not surprised that Howie ended up in your arms."
Marc could see that Joey was still having some uneasy feelings. "Joe, how do you feel toward Howie?"
"I like him. He's a great guy. I think we're becoming good friends."
"Then what is the problem?" Marc asked.
"I'm afraid that I'm wanting to be more than just friends. And that feeling really scares me."
"I know that feeling. And it is scary when those feelings start to surface. You feel lost and unsure of yourself. And you begin to question your feelings at every turn."
"Marc, . . . Do you think I'm gay?" Joey softly asked.
"Joey, I don't know. That is something that only you can answer. But remember whether you are gay, bi, or straight, you are my friend and I will always love you."
"I love you too. . . What should I do about Howie?"
"Just be his friend. Take your time and let your friendship grow. Joe you have a good heart. Listen to your heart, it will tell you what you need to know. Right now Howie needs you to be there for him. I think Brian will be meeting Howie at the hotel. This meeting needs to happen if there is any chance of Howie to continue to work with the Backstreet Boys. He just needs to know that what ever happens today his friends are there to support what ever decision he makes."
"I'll be there for him," Joey said.
"So will the rest of us," Marc added.
The bus slowed and made a sharp right turn. Screaming girls could be heard as the bus came closer to the hotel.
"Oh great, the fans have found our hotel," Chris said. "That means we are stuck on our floor."
"You guys don't have time to do anything else anyway," Marc pointed out. "Ok, here's the plan for today. It's not quite nine o'clock. You all need to get some rest. I'll have lunch sent up to my room and we can all meet at two. That gives us an hour before we have to leave for the theater. Then it is sound check, meet and greet and a light supper before the show then the concert. After the concert we can go get something to eat then if you are up to it we can go to a club or something."
"What's on tap for tomorrow?" Justin asked.
"We can sleep in. Check out is at noon. We will then head for L.A."
"Curley, when will Britney be leaving us?" JC asked.
"Her and her mom will be flying out of LAX late tomorrow night."
"Howie, how about you?" Chris asked.
"I'll probably be going about the same time. I'll check flights when we get to L.A."
The bus pulled up to the side entrance of the hotel. *Nsync security had moved in and secured the area. Exiting the bus everyone made straight for the elevators. Getting off on the twelfth floor they were met by security with their room assignments. Everyone looked up as a door down the hall opened and Brian Littrell stepped into the hall.
Marc looked at Howie to see how he was taking Brian's appearance then noticed a sudden tenseness. Looking back at Brian, Marc saw that he was not alone. Beside him stood a very beautiful woman. `That must be Leighanne,' Marc thought. A third person joined them, Marc recognized the taller dark haired man as Kevin, Brian's cousin.
Howie walked up to the trio and softly said, "Hi,"
"Are you all right?" Brian asked.
"Yeah, I'm doing a lot better. I think the three of us need to talk," Howie said.
"Yes, we do," Kevin said with a grateful sigh.
"No Kevin. I meant Brian, Leighanne, and I need to talk."
"Oh, . . Ok," a surprised Kevin said.
Marc walked up to Howie and placed a hand on his shoulder.
"Oh Marc, I don't think you have met Brian's fiancé Leighanne, and his cousin Kevin."
Marc shook hands with Leighanne telling her he was glad to meet her. Offering his hand to Kevin Marc said. "Kevin, it's good to meet you. Now I have a face to go with the voice over the phone."
"Marc I want to thank you for looking after Howie."
"It was no problem, I love having friends around."
Marc turned to Brian, who had found something interesting at his feet and would not look Marc in the eye. "Brian."
"Ah, Marc, . . I," Brian stammered.
Marc reached out and pulled Brian into a hug. "Have you forgot how to greet a friend?" Marc asked in a whisper.
"You still want to be my friend?" a surprised Brian asked.
"Of course. I have no bad feeling for you. The only problem exists between you, Howie, and Leighanne. And only you three can work that out." Marc gave Brian a pat on the back before letting him go. "Ah, listen. We are all going to go and get some rest. We are going to have a late lunch around two. Why don't you all join us."
"Sounds good," Kevin said. "What room?"
"Lance and mine," Marc said as he took Lance's hand and headed for their room. "See you all later," Marc said as he opened his door.
Kevin had a funny look on his face. "Ah, Kev, I think we need to fill you in about Marc and Lance," Howie said with a amused grin.
**The character Matt crosses over from my story Route 66 Rocks.
No cliffhanger this time. If you wonder why it takes me so long to get a new chapter out there are many reasons:
1. I have a life.
Some of the stories I've been following:
So if you want to complain about how long it's taking me to get the next chapter out write the authors of these stories and complain. ;-)
Till the next chapter,
Feedback is always welcome.