Date: Sat, 10 Apr 2004 17:38:51 EDT
From: Capricorn77Dude@aol.com
Subject: Free From Within Part 2

Disclaimer: This story is fiction and is not intended to imply anything
about the true sexuality of the celebrities mentioned or any personal
knowledge about their private lives.

Free From Within: Part 2
_____________________________________
February 2001

"This is SuChin Pak for MTV News.  Last night video and photos were
released to the news media of a wedding between Backstreet Boy Howie D. and
Craig Bingham star of "One Of The Guys"."

	A video clip of the wedding plays.  Howie and me are exchanging
vows and looking lovingly into one another's eyes.  We say I do and kiss.

"Earlier this month a Tucson reporter had discovered Howie rooming with
Craig in town, but the two played it off as a normal situation.  This
reporter dug further and found incriminating evidence with Craig's son.
The birth certificate lists him as Dominic Jesse Bingham-Dorough, with
Craig AND Howie listed as his fathers."

	Cut to video of the reporter holding a copy of Dom's certificate up
for the camera to see the writing.  They show pictures from the airport in
Hawaii where Howie and I are looking very couply with Dom.

"That's the news for now but stay with us for more updates."

	I click of the TV and look out the window again.  Security and the
cops had gotten the reporters away.  The guards were being chewed out by
their supervisors.  Turns out the reporters got a hold of some cleaning
company vans and came in disguise.  Real reassuring.

	I looked in and saw Dom still sleeping and Lucky pacing the room.
The reporters on the lawn had made him nervous and he had gone down to the
entry way to bark then immediately back to upstairs to check on us.
Luckily the barks didn't wake Dom.

	I held the phone while waiting on hold for Howie when the doorbell
rang.  Lucky ran down the stairs silently and didn't bark until the hit the
door.  I grabbed the baby monitor and closed the nursery door behind me.  I
looked out the peephole and saw Brit, I opened the door and let her in.

"Oh my gawd!  This is so intense!  What are you guys going to do?" she
asked.

"Right now talking to Howie would be good but they keep putting me on
hold." I yell and slam the phone down causing Brit and Lucky to jump.

	Brit comes over and puts her arms around me and leads me to the
kitchen.  I hop up on the counter as she looks for coffee.

"Second cabinet from the left, third shelf." I tell her.

"Craig, you know as well as I do that the reason Howie hasn't answered your
call yet is because management is already on this and he's probably been in
meetings since this hit the airwaves." she tried to reassure.

"You would think maybe he would call his husband..."I said and was cut off
by the phone.

"Hello"

"Hey babe, why you calling so early in the morning." Howie asked.

"Have you not seen the news?"

"Huh?  Babe, we were on the road all night, my phone just woke us all up.
How many times have you called?"

"Oh five times!"

"Wait, I have twenty missed calls.  They're not all from you?"

"Howie, turn on MTV.  We're out!"

"What?!  Kev turn on MTV!"

	I heard shuffling and then a repeat of the news brief I had been
hearing every half hour since I found out.  I heard Kevin groan loudly and
Howie take a deep breath.

"Babe."

"I know. " I said.

"What the fuck?  They dug through our sons file just to get to us?"

"Anything for a story.  Come on Howie this shouldn't shock you!"

	I heard Kevin grumbling something in the background.

"Everything alright?" I asked.

	No response and then a sound that sounded like a hand muffling the
receiver.

"Howie!"

"Hey babe, I umm need to get off with you and call management, they been
calling everyone's cells trying to get to me.  I'll call you as soon as I
hear something ok? Love you baby."  he said and hung up.

	Britney looked at me.

"He hung up.  He hung up.  I can't believe it.  He hung up on me!"

"Craig."

"Like I'm not freaking out over here.  Having reporters on our front lawn."

"Craig."

"Cause you know he's on tour so he doesn't have to deal with that."

"CRAIG!"

	I looked at her.

"What?"

"Your son is crying and you need to stop flipping out." she said with a
stern look.

"Can you Brit?  I need to make some calls?"

"No prob.  Just calm a little ok?" she said and gave me a hug.

	As she walked out of the kitchen I got on the phone and called
Jeff.  He picked up on the first ring.

"Craig, I am on the other line right now with Jive, do you think that you
would be able to be in Chicago this afternoon?"

"Jeff that's short notice."

"Craig, its yours and your husbands career's on the line.  This is
important.  Can you catch the next flight to Chicago?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Good I got you three seats.  Bring Dom and someone to watch him.  And
Craig, don't talk to anyone."

	He hung up and I sat there in shock.  Brit came into the kitchen
with Dom.

"Hey Brit, feel like going to Chicago?"

Eight hours later

	Our plane is just landing and the weather looks horrible.  Snowing
so much that you can't see a thing.  Outside is black.  Its fitting though.
This has been the most stressful day of my life and its only going to get
better.

	After the call from Jeff, Brit went to her place to change, while I
got Dom and me straightened up.  My family and Howie's were calling at this
point.  Friends also.  No one could get a hold of Howie so they were trying
to find out from me what was happening.  Not able to tell them much more
than I knew and feeling frustrated because someone who was there had to
have leaked the video, I was not the most conversive person.  A limo came
to get us and take us to the airport.  At the airport we were met by
reporters, security made a path for us.  But they couldn't stop the
questions from getting to us.  I was fed up and ready to turn to them and
yell when I looked down and saw Dom staring up at me with his innocent
smile.  I calmed me enough to take Jeff's advice and get through the crowd.
We boarded a private jet and were off.  The flight was silent except for
Brit and Dom.  I kept to my thoughts and prayed like mad that things were
going to work out and be ok.

	 We got off the plane and saw another limo awaiting us.  I carried
Dom and Brit held my hand.  I laughed at it.

"What's so funny?" she asked,

"Nothing, its just the picture we are making right now, its like we're
trying to pretend I am straight or something."

	She laughed as well.  Until we saw the flashes of the cameras
taking snap shots of us.  Security was holding them back so we could get to
the limo.  We climbed in and Brit pulled the door shut fast.  I turned to
say what and was greeted by a kiss.  I look and saw Howie with a sad smile
on his face.

"Hi."

"Hi" I said back with a hug.

	Brit handed him Dom and his face lit up.

"Baby boy I missed you." he said as Dom smiled at him.

	He cradled Dom in one arm and pulled me to him with his other.

"So what's happening Howie?" I asked.

"Management is pissed.  They are flipping out that we let ourselves get
caught.  Its funny they knew about us but they were in denial or something.
And um, I guess we never mentioned the wedding or Dom to them."

"What?"  Britney asked.

"Well, I just assumed that Kevin was telling them.  They never asked.  I
mean they knew Craig and me were seeing each other because when he came out
they were freaking thinking I would too.  I guess they never thought we
would last long.  And then the wedding tape and Dom's birth certificate pop
up.  I have been in meetings all morning.  They are pissed.  They are
trying to call me on violation of contract.  They are afraid of public
reaction."

	I put my arm around him and kissed his cheek.

"Don't worry D, things are going to work out." I said.

"And if they don't you have an awesome husband and son to spend time with."
Brit said with a smile.

	We pulled into a parking garage and were escorted to the elevator.
We held hands and smiled.  Looks like we wouldn't have to worry about being
caught anymore.  I kept thinking about what Brit said.  True Howie would
have more time to spend with us if they fired him, but singing was his
dream.  I could never ask him to give that up.  We entered the hotel
through the kitchen and went up the service elevator to the meeting room.
We left Dom with Brit in the foyer and walked in hand in hand.  Us against
them.

	A huge conference room with a table for twenty in the middle.  At
one end sat the Jive executives and in the middle the guys.  Howie and I
were at the opposite end where Jeff sat waiting.  The executives looked
grim and the guys were mixed.  Brian and AJ smiled at us, Nick was serious
but half smiled, while Kevin sat with a grim look on his face.  We took our
seats next to Jeff who smiled at us.

	The executives began with their spiel.  It kinda felt like being in
the principals office all over again.

"We understand that you two have a lifestyle together.  We can respect
that.  But when it comes to things that could affect our business we are
required to be told.  We should have been informed of this wedding and this
child.  We are not trying to be controlling or mean, its just we have an
image to protect and that is one of wholesome young men to sell to a
teenage market.  If you would have came to us and let us know, we could
have implemented fail safes.  I respect what you did, but unfortunately,
your not normal people.  Your both celebrities and homosexual to boot.  You
couldn't have expected that you could just get married and have a child
secretly without the world knowing!  Public records are what that name
says, PUBLIC.  Right now we are forced to go on damage control.  We are
left with few options.  Which is why we brought together this meeting.  Our
decisions will directly affect Backstreet.  Therefore your all a part of
this.  As you may have noticed there have been many reports on all the
stations discussing your story.  We have made no comments yet.  We have
been trying to factor in the outside interest.  Observe today's TRL."

	He cued the monitor behind him and TRL started up.

"This is Carson Daly and we are discussing today big media buzz.  Howie
D. and Craig.  We here at MTV are interested in the public opinion, we have
been receiving calls all day from fans with their opinions.  Callers your
on the air."

"Hi this is Katey from New Jersey.  I just want to say that I think it is
sweet how the two of them were able to get together and share their love
with one another.  That has to be the luckiest little boy out there to have
such great parents.  I don't think this should change anything."

"Wassup, this is Marcus from the Bronx.  I think that all boy bands are gay
and that this dude just got caught.  So yeah, I don't think this changes
anything."

"This is Jane from San Diego and I just can't believe it.  It is so sad.  I
think that homosexuality is against God and now its taken two of our
hottest.  They have condemned themselves to an eternity in hell, but there
is still hope for that little boy, I just hope someone with enough common
sense and moral decency will step in and take him."

"Hey this is Damon from Orlando and I think that its their business that
their gay.  If their happy then people should just let them be.  If we have
a problem with it or not its not our spot to say.  Everyone is entitled to
be what they want to be.  I still think boy bands suck but I respect this
one a little more now."

"This is Tawney from Long Island and I just want say that I will never buy
another Backstreet Boy CD again!  They should get him out of the group!"

	He clicked the monitor off.  I looked over and the guys all looked
queasy.

"This is what we have been dealing with for the past few weeks."

"Yeah but you have an even mix there.  In fact more were for them than
against them." Jeff said.

"That was a few of the calls from TRL.  For every supportive call you have
ten wanting to get rid of Howie or Backstreet.  As of now the Backstreet
Boys are on hiatus.  We have cancelled the remaining shows for this month.
We will see about rescheduling and if we will continue with March's shows
in a few weeks."

"No way!" Nick said.

"That's fucked up." Brian said.

"But we have to do it." AJ somberly said.

"No HE should have to do it.  Not us.  Why are we all being punished for
Howie's mistake?!" Kevin yelled.

"My mistake?  Which part is my mistake Kev?  My husband or my child?  My
happiness?" Howie stood and shouted.

"All of it D, all of it.  Did you ever think of us when you made these
decisions?"

"Did I think of you when I fell in love?  No!  Did you think of us when you
fell for your fiancé?  Did Nick think of us when he fell for Willa?  Why is
it when AJ, Brian or me fall for someone its bad but you two can do it as
much as you want?"

"Because we're normal!" Kevin blurted out.

"Fuck you dude.  Fuck you." AJ said as he got up.

"Is that what you really think cuz?" Brian asked as he stood.

"Yeah.  I think that ya'll really need to look at the life you've chosen
for yourselves.  Cause it ain't right." Kevin said as he sat.


	At this point Kevin was by himself while Nick sat off to the side.
AJ and Brian were over by Howie and me.

"Hiatus is effective immediately.  You will be called when we are ready for
you.  My advice?  Go home, spend time with your families.  And please guys
watch what you do.  Its already a ticking time bomb, lets not add more to
it."

	With that they stood and left the room.  Leaving the guys, Howie,
Jeff and me.  I looked around and felt horrible.  This was tearing them
apart.  And I couldn't help but feel totally responsible.

"Its not your fault Craig." AJ said.

"What?" I asked.

"I could see it on your face.  Its not you.  If it wasn't Howie it could
have been one of us." he replied.

"Guys?" Kevin said.

"Right now Kevin, you are the last person I want to talk to." Howie said
and stood up.

"You guys should probably figure what your doing.  You have your rooms for
the night.  I would suggest taking his advice.  Head home and spend time
with your families." Jeff said.

"And sit and wait for the call right?" AJ said.  "That's crap.  But you
know what whatever.  I am out of here, I am going to England to see Drew.
Fuck what they think or say.!"

"I'm going back to Orlando and settling into the new place with Willa."
Nick said.

	Brian sat there looking lost as Kevin stormed out of the conference
room.

"Brian, why don't you come to Tucson with Craig and me?" Howie asked.

"Thanks."

	We all stood and left the conference room.  Brit jumped away from
the door.

"So uh, how did it go?" she asked.

"Come on Brit, you know."

"Okay sorry, I couldn't help but listen when the shouting started."

"Its cool.  You may have just witnessed the end of Backstreet." Nick said.

"Lets go up to our rooms and pack." AJ said.

"Alright." Howie agreed.


	Within the hour the guys had packed.  Airline arrangements had been
made.  We were all leaving the airport at midnight, in different flights.
No one saw Kevin after the conference.  But we did check out the TV at the
airport.  A rep from Jive was on the screen announcing the temporary hiatus
of the tour due to complications.  All tickets would be refunded.

	We sat as a sad looking group.  Alternately everyone was happy to
be able to go home but depressed as it seemed as if the group was over.

"AJ, when your over there with Drew, try not to.." Howie said.

"I know D, I am not going to give them anymore leverage on us.  I think its
crap how they're fucking with you too, but its not gonna happen with me and
Drew.  Its just started and I don't want it to be over."

"So when did you meet Drew?" Britney asked.

"A few months back before the tour started.  He was down in Orlando on
vacation.  I was at the club at I saw him in his hotness.  I approached
him, we spent the night talking and then went back to my place where he
stayed for two days." AJ said with a wicked smile.  "And since then we have
kept in touch and I am hoping that given this "vacation" we can make
something."

"I know what you mean bro, when I left to tour, Willa was setting things up
in the new place.  We talk on the phone all the time but its nothing like
being there together.  Especially since the stuff going down with my
parents." Nick said.

	We all nodded.  It was hard for Nick because his family had made
him choose between them and Willa.  Put on top of that the fact that his
mom had been mismanaging and you got a sordid untouchable sitch.

	Brian just sat to the side during all of this.  I knew things had
to be hard for him because his cousin who was like a brother to him, had
just hurt him badly.  I hoped that we would be able to help him through
this.  Since things had ended with Zaid, he had been a little sad.

	They announced the flights within minutes of each other.  We all
stood and hugged and promised to stay in contact.  Brian, Britney, Howie,
Dom and I boarded our flight to Tucson.

	Britney sat with Brian in a row behind us.  Half hour into the
flight they were asleep.  I looked over at Howie holding Dom.

"Everything okay babe?" I asked.

"No, but when I'm holding him it almost seems okay." he said with a sad
smile.

	We got back to Tucson and another limo picked us up and brought us
to the house.  Brian took the green room and shut his door as soon as we
got in.  We put Dom in bed and went into our room.  I stripped and climbed
into bed.  I turned and saw Howie was standing at the window.

"What is it babe?" I asked.

"It just scares me that those reporters could so easily have gotten here
like that.  If they can what's stop another Drew from doing the same?"

"What do you mean `another Drew'?" I asked as I walked over to him.

"You heard that girl on TRL.  What if some psycho feels that they could
raise our son better?  What's to stop them from coming here and taking
him?"

"Let's see, even if they get through the gate, they also would have to get
through the security and our dog.  Not to mention us.  I am never letting
anyone take our son away from us baby."

	I stood behind him and wrapped my arms around him.  He leaned his
head back and sighed.

"I don't know anymore baby.  I thought I had a plan.  But now its not
working out that way.  But I gotta be honest, as much as I love the group
and following my dream, I really love being with you tonight and for the
next few nights.  I could easily get used to this."

"Me too" I said and kissed his neck.

"Baby, tonight lets just cuddle ok?" he says as he pulls away.

"Okay" I say as I watch him strip and climb into bed.

	I go in after him and put my arms around him.  He puts his arms on
top of mine and sighs.

"I love you Craig." he says and drifts off.

	I lay there holding him and listening to his breathing.  I just
can't fall asleep though.  I get up quietly so I don't wake him and throw
on my boxers and grab Dom's monitor.  I peek in and see he's asleep, as I
walk out Lucky follows me.  I pass by Brian's door and hear his breathing.
I walk down the stairs into the family room.  The house is a little chilly
so I adjust the heat.  I go in the kitchen and grab a bottle of water.
Then wander to the back door and peer out.  The back yard is quiet and
dark.  Nothing moving.  I feel something against my leg, look down and see
Lucky peering out as well.  Feeling restless but sleepy, I turn on the TV.
I flip through the channels when something catches my attention.

"...number one album in the country.  The highly anticipated tour was
called on hiatus cited technical difficulties.  This conveniently after the
outing of group member Howie D. in his gay marriage to Craig Bingham.  The
question now is, can the group recover?  Back to you Don."

	I switch channels and find a Mighty Mouse cartoon to watch and
start to drift off.  I wake a little while later and see its Tom & Jerry.
I feel a blanket on me. I look and see someone threw a blanket on me at
some point.  Still dark outside and throughout the house.  Then I hear a
noise in Dom's monitor.  I jump off the couch and quietly climb the stairs
thinking the worst.  I get to Dom's door and see someone standing over his
crib.  I burst into the nursery in time to see Brian in the nightlight.

"Craig?  What's wrong?" he asks.

"Nothing.  I heard...I thought...yeah...." I pant.

	He comes toward me and guides me out of the room.  We get to the
stairs and go down back to the family room.

"I slept for a few hour and then couldn't fall back.  I came down here and
saw you passed out on the couch, so I threw a blanket on you and started
watching cartoons.  Then I heard Dom cry in the monitor, so before you woke
I went to check on him."

	We stand in the kitchen in front of the fridge.  I look over at
Brian in his boxers and see the scar on his chest.

"Was the surgery scary?" I ask.

"Yeah but not as scary as what's happening right now."

"I know, but you have to think positive.  You guys have the top album right
now.  I know that public reactions going to be off but you guys are it
right now."

"Yeah, til Nsync comes out with their new CD.  Its all about the
competition.  If this knocks us down a few pegs we may not recover if we're
not out there."

	I grab some sandwich makings from the fridge and Brian grabs the
bread.  Wordlessly we start making sandwiches.  After we finish we take
them to the family room and finish watching Tom & Jerry.  We fall asleep on
the couches and are woken up by the sounds and smells of eggs and bacon
cooking.  Howie is in the kitchen with Dom making breakfast.  Brian and me
go into the kitchen to help.  Howie just hands me Dom and shoos us to the
table.

"Okay, since we are now the hot topic I got us some help." Howie said.

"What?" we ask.

"Right now every reporter out there wants a quote from one of us.  I talked
to Nick and AJ already.  They got security guards with them already."

"Security guards?" I ask.

"Yeah babe, this way we don't get mobbed.  Or anything else."
	We exchanged a look as he looked at Dom.  I knew what he meant.

"Okay, so they are going to be with us when we leave or are they already
here?" I ask

"Already here.  They are outside in their cars.  They sit and watch the
house while we are here and then go with us when we go out.  This way we
can still have lives and not be imprisoned in the house to avoid
interviews.  There are three of them.  Chad is the blonde, Armand is the
black guy, and Christian is the Mexican."

	He finished cooking and loads up a tray with the food.  I grab the
plates and glasses.  Brian takes Dom and the juice.  We go out the back
door to the patio.  We all sit and eat together on the patio enjoying the
cool morning.  Lucky chases a ball around the yard while we eat.  After we
finish I clear the dishes and leave Howie and brian talking while I do the
dishes.  Just about the time I am finishing the phone rings.  Its Howie's
mom.

"Hello Craig, how is my boy doing today?"

"How did you know he would be here?" I ask.

"When we heard the news of the tour we knew he would go to his home.
That's where his heart is."

"Yeah, we just got in last night."

"Its terrible that they took your joyous occasion and turned it into a
media circus.  How are the guys doing?"

"Umm, Brian is here with us.  AJ went to England, Nick to Orlando and
Kevin...um no one is sure where Kevin went."

"What do you mean?  Why are they all over the place?  You would think right
now would be the time they are together more than ever!" she said.

	Howie and brian came into the kitchen.

"Paula, I'm gonna give you to Howie ok?"

"Okay mijo, take care of those three ok?"

"Okay mom.  Love ya."

	I handed the phone to Howie and he walked into the living room.

"His mom?" Brian asked.

"Yeah, I guess he didn't call her yesterday?"

"Really?  I was on the phone with my mom while I was packing.  Craig, I
want you to know how much I appreciate you letting me come and stay with
you guys."

"Its no problem bro.  I know I wouldn't want to be alone if I were you
guys."

"I know.  That's why I accepted.  You'd think that the guys would have
wanted to be together through this.  I wonder where Kev went?"

	He got silent and teary at that.

"Hey Brian, why don't we get dressed and go out and do some shopping.  I
can have Howie watch Dom and maybe we can get Britney to come with?"

"Sounds good."

"Alright go get dressed and I'll tell Howie."

	He went upstairs and I went into the living room to find Howie
hanging up the phone.

"Babe, I'm gonna take Brian shopping, can you watch Dom for awhile?"

"Yeah, come here baby." he said.

	I went over to him and he hugged me to him.

"I'm sorry about last night, I know I was abrupt, but I was still in shock
over it all.  I love you so much and I want you to know that.  I didn't
mean to push you away."

"Howie, its okay.  It was cool.  Don't worry, cause I didn't think anything
of it.  But you can make up for it tonight ok?"

	We kissed and then I went upstairs to shower and change.  I got out
of the shower and called Britney.  She sounded a little off and declined
shopping.  Not thinking anything, I hung up and went downstairs to meet
brian.  I gave kisses to Howie and Dom and then we headed out to the
garage.  I opened the garage door and saw two gray sedans in front of the
house.  We got into the Mustang and took off.  I waved at the guards and as
I backed out of the drive one of the cars followed us.  I put the top down
as we cruised through the neighborhood.  They kept up with us at every
turn.

	We got to the Tucson Mall and hit the stores.  Armand followed us
at a discreet distance.  While Christian went ahead of us.  We went through
Abercrombie, Structure and the Gap.  We got clothes for ourselves as well
as Dom and Howie.  We went by Barnes and Nobles so I could pick up some
books I had reserved.  We picked up a few CD's in the music section and
then had lunch in the food court.

	After lunch we went to Zaiden's where I found diamond bracelet for
Howie's Valentine gift.  Then we went over to the sports store where I
picked up some new wheels for my blades and Brian picked up a pair so we
could go blading together.  On the way to the check out I saw a jock strap
display and had to stop.

"Why are you getting a jock?" Brian asked.

"Bro, have you never had sex with a guy wearing one of these?"

"Um no."

"Let me tell you, maybe its just the football player coming out, but the
hottest sex is when your fucking a guy and he's wearing one of these.  The
look itself is hot enough, but during the action you grab onto the strap
and...yeah its good." I say and start to get hard thinking about Howie in
one.

"Okay.  Taking your word for it." Brian said with a smile.

	I found a black one and a white one in both my sizes and Howie's
and picked them up.  We paid for everything and headed out to the car.  The
trunk was full and the backseat was getting there.

"Okay one more stop then its home," I said.

"You're the boss."

	We pulled into Fascinations.  Brian gave me a look and I just
smiled.

"Its been a few weeks since we have been together AND I am stocking up for
Valentine's day."

	Without a word Brian followed me into the store.  He wandered
around the movies while I went about my spree.  I picked up more massage
oils, bath beads, salts and bubbles, and flavored lube (coconut). I met up
with brian and found him eyeing the clerk.

"Like them tall and handsome eh?"

"What?  No I was looking at the display." he said.

"Right.  Do you like?"

"Umm yeah."

"So why don't you go talk to him?"

"I can't."

"Brian, its simple: walk up, say hi, things tend to go from there."

"Craig, I can't.  Not right now.  Please." he said and walked out the door.

	I brought my stuff to the counter and saw the guys name tag.

"Jordan?" I asked.

"Yes sir?"

"Did you go to Sabino, class of 95?"

"umm yeah."

"I'm Craig.  Craig Bingham!"

"Oh my gawd!  You are!  Dude its been forever!  I heard you were back
but...damn bro you are so lucky.  You married Howie D."  he said with a
smile.

"Don't I know it.  Check out the ring." I said. "So you work here?"

"A few days a week.  I'm at the U of A getting my doctorate."

"Wow, premed working at a porn shop."

"Not as bad as my other job." he smiled.

"Your not!  Oh my god you are!"

"Yeah."

"Dude you were always such a tease in high school, I swear I always said
you were going to be a male stripper when you grew up."

"Hey who was the cute blonde with you?" he asked as he rang up my stuff.

"That was Brian, he's a friend in town for a few weeks."

"Brian Littrell?"

"Yeah."

"He is so hot!  I love him, I always had a thing for blondes."

"Really?  Hmm, Jordan give me your number and I might have something for
you." I said with a wicked grin.


	I met up with Brian at the car and we headed back to the house.

"You know he noticed you in the store." I said.

"Who?"

"The clerk.  He asked if we were together."

"You told him no right."

"Nah I told him your were my bitch and that you got shy about the stuff I
was buying."

"You suck!"

"And swallow occasionally, just ask Howie." I smiled.

"For real though?"

"He asked about you and I told him you were a friend of mine and it turns
out he's an old friend of mine.  So maybe I can bring two friends
together?"

"No, Craig I swear not right now."

"Brian...."

"I'm afraid Craig.  I gave Zaid my heart and he tore it out and danced on
it."

"Whoa!  Bri, look Jordan is asking for you heart right now.  Right now he's
interested in that ass and what you got swinging between the legs.  Slow
down, I am not trying to marry you off to him."

	We looked at each other and laughed.

"Sorry.  Its just...."

"I know Bri, everything that's been happening hasn't been easy.  But your
young.  Act like it and have fun."

"Yeah, just don't say anything to Howie ok?"

"Deal." I say and hand him the number.

	We go in the house with all our bags and find Howie feeding Dom.

"Looks like shopping went well." he said as I kissed him.

"When doesn't it?" brian asked.

"Hey I had an idea earlier if you two are up to it." Howie said.

"Ok."

"We were talking in Hawaii about getting another car right?  Why not drop
Dom with the family and go look at family cars?"

"Sounds good.  Let me call mom." I said.

"Already done, she'll be expecting her grandson at 5." he said.

	We unloaded bags from the Mustang while Howie got together Dom's
diaper bag.  We loaded up and took off to my mom's house.  This time both
of the cars followed us.  When we got in the house we were greeted by the
twins.

"Unca Caig!  Unca Owi!"

	I scooped them up and hugged them as they giggled.

"We're dropping your cousin off with you guys, you gonna be nice?" I asked.

	They nodded enthusiastically.  I put them down and the ran to
Howie, who lowered Dom to their level.  When he saw his cousins he broke
out into a huge smile.  My mom came in and took him from Howie causing the
twins to follow her.

"I just want you guys to know that we are all here for you if you need
anything ok?" Mom asked.

"We know Mom and we appreciate it." Howie said and kissed her cheek.

	We left and piled into the Mustang and headed up to Phoenix.
Tucson itself has a decent amount of car dealerships, but Phoenix has
bigger selection.  Only a hour drive with my lead foot.  On the drive we
kept the radio off as the news briefs just annoyed us.  Howie turned on the
CD changer and soon a mix of Britney and the A-Teens were pumping out the
speakers.

"So what kind of vehicle are you two looking at?  Soccer mom vans?" Brian
asked with a smile.

"Nah, I was thinking about an SUV.  Big enough for the family and friends."
Howie said.

"I hadn't thought much about it, I'm better at impulse buying." I smiled.

	WE started seeing car lots as we neared Phoenix.  The first one was
a Mercedes dealership.  We went in and we attacked by a salesman as soon as
we stepped out of the car.  The guards got out of their cars as well and
stood next to them.

"Mr. Dorough, we'll stay by the cars unless we see something suspicious,
alright?" Chad asked.

"Thank you." Howie said as we walked to the lot.

  	We test drove a few of the SUV's and cars.  I wasn't too impressed.
We went on to the next lot which was a GM dealer.  We test drove their
SUV's and I have to admit I did like a few, but nothing that jumped out at
me.  The BMW dealership was next.  While Howie checked out the family cars,
Brian and me checked out the roadsters.  After a few hours I started to
feel like a little kid being dragged along.  One dealership turned into
another.  Howie picked up on my annoyance after awhile and suggested we
break for dinner.  We went to the Rainforest Cafe.  Beautiful restaurant
with dim enough lighting that we could eat without being too recognized.
The guards sat at the next table.

"So what's wrong?" Howie asked as the waiter left.

"what do you mean?" I asked.

"C'mon Craig, you looked real annoyed at the dealers." Brian said.

"I don't know, I just haven't seen anything yet that I liked."

"Nothing?" Howie asked.

"Nothing that qualifies as a family car.  I'm sorry, I know we're daddy's
now, but I still look at the sportier cars.  But I promise, when we go back
out I will grow up and be mature." I said with a smile.

	Howie and Brian laughed at that.  We started talking about the cars
Howie had like until the food arrived and then we dug in.  I am telling you
this place has some of the best burgers in the world!  And of course once
we finished we had to do dessert.  We all split a volcano and then headed
back to the dealers.  The first one was the Cadillac dealer.  Howie loved
the Escalade.  I mean his parents have one and my mom as well.  Myself?  I
think its a nice vehicle but not one I really want for myself.

"Babe, I know you love it, but I think we should look at some other places
before we totally decide on one car." I said.

"Okay, that's cool.  Where to next?" he asked with a smile.

	We walked over to the next lot holding hands.  Howie was still
jazzed from the Escalade.  The lot turn out to the a Jeep dealership.  I
love Jeeps.  If not for getting the Mustang I would have got a Jeep
Wrangler.  Howie knows this as well.

"Baby, I know how much you love the Wrangler's but do you think its a
suitable family car?" he asked.

	Brian busted up laughing.

"I'm sorry but its just funny." he said when Howie gave him an annoyed
look.

"But we can still look around right?" I asked.

"Of course babe."

	Then I saw it.  It wasn't a Wrangler, but it was cool.  Jade green
four door Jeep Cherokee.  Sporty enough but still family car enough.  I
dragged Howie and Brian over to it.  The salesman came out with the key in
hand.  We got in and test drove.  I fell in love.  Howie could tell.  When
we got back to the dealer he gave us a chance to talk.

"Okay, babe, this is it.  You want to get it?" Howie asked.

"I would love to, but you love the Escalade.  I know you want to get that."

"Yeah but this is kinda going to be your car.  It should be something you
like too.  I don't want you driving something you don't like and I could
tell you weren't impressed by the Escalade." he said.

"Can I suggest something?" Brian asked.

"Shoot."

"You have a three car garage.  between the two of you, you have enough
money to get a car each.  Why not get what each of you likes.  that way you
have your own 'family' vehicle." he said.

	We looked at each other for a second and then back at brian.

"Well we were saying that we would get a second vehicle for Orlando right?"
I said.

"And this way we could drive instead of fly there next time." Howie said.

	We looked at each other and smiled.

" Lets do it." we said in unison.

	So we went to the dealer and wheeled and dealed him.  We drove away
from the lot in a fully loaded, brand new (5miles on odometer) 2001 jeep
Cherokee.  A half hour later we drove off the Cadillac lot in a brand new,
fully loaded jet black Escalade.  We pulled up to where the Mustang and
Jeep were parked.

"Okay so Brian can drive the 'Stang to Tucson and we'll keep in contact
with the cells." Howie said.

	We got out and into our respective cars and hit the road.  I-10 is
a long stretch of highway from Phoenix to Tucson.  We messed around with
our new toys and I think the guards were slightly annoyed seeing as how
there were three of us and just one of them vehicle wise.  We got back to
Tucson at 10pm and pulled into my mom's house.  I had called from Phoenix
to say we were coming so Scott had cruised over to get the twins and stayed
to see what we got.  Mom, Scott, the twins, Sel and Dom all came out
together.

"Oh my!  You got two!" Mom said.

"Let me guess, the Jeep is Craig's and the Escalade is Howie's." Scott said
with a smirk.

	Everyone laughed at that and checked out the cars.  After letting
both my sibs test drive both, we grabbed baby boy and headed back to our
casa.  We got into the house and while Howie let Lucky out, Brian and me
got Dom ready for bed.

"Its cool, you know.  We've been having fun and been able to distract
ourselves from what happened." I say as we walk out of the nursery.

Brian smiled,"And I plan to distract even more tonight.  Can I use your car
to go meet Jordan?"

"You called him?!" I asked.

"yeah on the way back.  He wants me to meet at his place."

"Bri, I am SO proud of you." I say and hug him and we go down the stairs.

"Your so proud of him for what?" Howie asks from the kitchen.

"He got a date!" I say.

"Bri, just be careful." Howie says as he comes out of the kitchen.

"I know, use protection."

"And make sure no reporters catch you"

	Brian took off and one of the cars followed him.  Meanwhile Howie
and me went up to our room.

"So babe, feel like a real family now?" he asked as he lay on the bed.

"What do you mean?"

"We got the house, the family cars, the baby, the dog and each other." he
said with a smile.

"Yeah it does feel like a family."

	I crawled onto the bed next to him and curled up to him.  We fell
asleep almost immediately.

	The next week went by without too much hassle.  It was a daily
thing to see two cars in front of the house with different guards in them.
Halfway through the week we had worker in the front of the house building a
wall with a gate.  This way no one would be able to just walk up to the
front yard without us knowing first.

	Dom was loving having both his daddies at home.  He was supported
himself in a push up position when he was on his stomach.

	We heard from Nick and AJ on a daily basis.  Aj was loving England
and his time there with Drew.  He was seeing the sights and falling in love
more and more.  While Nick was finding that living with someone is not as
easy as it looks.  He and willa were getting into it everyday.  He had
taken to sleeping on the couch on a nightly basis and was reconsidering
living together.  We invited him out to Tucson anytime and he sounded like
he was ready to accept.  And then there was Kevin.  No one had heard from
him since the meeting.  He wouldn't return any of the messages we left on
his cell or email.

	And Brian.  Brian was doing great.  Jordan and he had a very
physical relationship and were becoming good friends in the process.
Jordan had told me he really like Brian, but at times felt like brian was
ready to be a couple.  Brian confided the same to me.  That he was having
fun, but wanted to announce his love to Jordan.  I warned him off of it.
Sometimes you just had to be together for more than a few weeks.

	So far the reporters were not too much of a problem.  Our guards
were working well for us in keeping them away.  Along with the fact that
Jive issued a press conference invite to them all.  We would all be
attending a conference on the 20th.

	Then it was valentine's day.  I awoke that morning to a bed of
roses.  Rose petals were all over the bed.  Then Howie walked in with a
tray of breakfast.  He sat there and we fed each other.  Then we went into
the bathroom where he drew a bath for us.  We soaked in the tub for an hour
using the bubbles and salts I had picked up.  Brian and Dom were with the
family for the day so we had the entire house to break in with new
positions.  After a few hours of intense sex we took a breather and
exchanged gifts.  I gave him the bracelet and he gave me diamond earrings.
Instead of going out, we opted to make dinner ourselves.  Which worked out
well and we were able to fool around while the other was preparing
something.  And of course Howie was able to bend me over and fuck me while
the meat cooked in the oven.

	After a romantic candlelit dinner we retired to the family room and
spooned on the couch as we watched sappy love movies.  We fell asleep like
that.

	The time then flew.  We were all nervous about the conference and
the meeting we had prior.  On the 18th the guys, minus Kevin flew in to
Tucson to stay with us.  The next two day the four of them spent together
in Howie's office going over stuff.  I left them to themselves and spent
time with Dom and my family.  Tried to get Britney but suddenly she was
incommunicado as well.

	On the morning of the 20th as we were preparing to leave for the
airport she came over and asked if we wanted her company.  She looked down
but I think the guys chalked it up to their sitch.  Myself I knew something
was happening with her, but at the moment just didn't have the time ask.

	We boarded a private jet for California to the Jive home office.
We arrived at the airport and were met by Jeff.  He escorted us to the
Hilton where we check into our rooms and then were escorted to the office.
It was almost the same set up as before.  A board room with the execs on
their side of the table and Kevin already seated.

	We sat down with Jeff between Kevin and us.  As soon as we were
settled the exec started.

"I know this has been a rough couple of weeks for you guys.  But I commend
you on the way that you behaved.  No further incidents did make things
easier.  We have been hit with a lot of public opinion.  Fans, non fans,
religious groups you name it, they mailed or called us.  Our first thought
of course was to take Howie out of the group, but then we realized that its
not just him.  They are looking at the group as a whole.  And if we took
Howie out then we are supporting this negative stereotype.  We have come to
the conclusion that Howie stays in the group.  But on terms.  Right now you
guys are in high competition with Nsync.  There are so many groups that
want to be number one and all it takes is one slip like this to make you
guys a thing of the past.  To work past this your going to have to give one
hundred percent.  We are extending the US tour and the European tour.
Public appearances are going to be doubled.  We need to get you guys out
there and back in the top slot.  No personal time off anymore."

"So in other words we have to agree to these rules if we want to be a
band?" Brian asked.

"Which brings us to another point.  As Howie has already proven with his
marriage and child, the public has not been accepting of the homosexuality.
Therefore, Brian and AJ, you are under strict rules.  No liaisons on the
road, no gay bars, nothing that could cause further controversy." the exec
said.

"Yes.  If you cannot agree to these rules, then I am afraid gentlemen that
the Backstreet Boys will no longer be a group.  We understand it's a hard
decision but you need to decided.  We have stayed silent long enough.  We
have scheduled a press conference in the morning, you have til then to
decide."

	We sat there in shocked silence.  The guys all exchanged looks as
Kevin stood up and silently walked out.

"Lets go to the dining room and get some food and talk." AJ said.

	I gave Dom to Jeff and we headed down to the dining room with
Britney.  We sat at a secluded table.  Britney and Howie on either side of
me.  Nick, AJ and brian opposite us.

"Its such bullshit that they are putting these demands on you guys.  Who
are they to act like parents?" Brit asked.

"Lets see, they own us." Brian said glumly.

"And then there's Kevin.  Who knew that all this time he felt like that?"
AJ asked.

"Umm, I did." Nick said.

"WHAT?!" Brian yelled. "You're my best friend and you knew my cousin felt
that way about me and never said anything!"

"Brian, I never said anything because I didn't want to hurt you.  You guys
don't understand.  Kevin doesn't like it, but he still loves ya'll.  We're
his little brother.  Right now he is reacting to this badly, but I think we
should give him a chance to speak.  Cause lets be real, this is our
livelihood at stake here.  We're a group, in it together right?  That's
what we always said.  Together forever?  Kev freaked, I almost did too.
But I knew that someone had to keep it together."

"From the mouths of babes..." AJ joked.

"Serious, we need to think about it.  Like it or not he's a part of the
group.  He's always been there for you in the past, even when he didn't
agree with it.  Guys, he was a part of your wedding.  You got together with
his blessing.  He didn't like it but he wanted you to be happy.  Its just
now your happiness conflicts with success."

"Nicky, you make a great argument, but I can't talk to him right now.  What
he said in there hurt.  If he loves us so much how could he say that?"
Brian asked.

	The waiter arrived with our food and we started to eat.

"You know, I think that you guys will be fine.  Fan reactions
notwithstanding, it will blow over and maybe even help sales." Brit said.

"Your right.  Right now the big thing is this, are you three willing to
give up your freedoms for the group?  Cause as much as I want us to stay
together, I don't think its fair that you guys have to do that." Nick said.

"Its easy for me I think, I mean I don't hook up on the road anymore and I
really haven't needed to go to bars since I met Drew." AJ said. "So its not
sacrificing anything."

"I guess, I can say the same.  The only thing that affects me is no
personal time.  That means while on tour they aren't going to let me see
Craig and Dom." Howie said.

"I think we can work them coming to see us into that D." Nick
said. "Brian?"

"Its easy for you guys.  You have someone.  I don't .  Going out is how I
can find someone and now that's being taken from me.  I hate that.  But, I
don't want to lose the group.  You guys are my best friends and I am living
my dream.  I guess my love life is a sacrifice I have to make, right?" he
responded.

"I think this is crap.  You guys make them money hand over fist and they
make these kinds of demands.  That sucks!  You should really get your
lawyers involved with this." I said.

	We heard someone clear their throat and turned to see Kevin
standing there with Dom in his arms.  Howie jumped up.

"What the hell are you doing with my son?" Howie asked and took Dom.

"Easy D.  Jeff had to leave and asked me to bring him up here.  I've been
talking to Jeff since the meeting.  Guys.  I'm sorry."  Kevin said.

	They all looked at him.  I felt bad for the guy.  I walked over to
him and put my arm around him.

"Kevin, I understand where your coming from.  Its hard to accept our lives.
But you say you love the guys right?  Like brothers"

"You too Craig.  I love all you, it tears me up inside to know that my best
friends are going against everything I was brought up to believe in.  Its
pitting my beliefs against my love."

"Kevin it's a struggle for us as well.  We were brought up in the same
church, you don't think it tears me up to go against everything I was
taught.  I can handle the church turning away from me, but please don't
take my family too." Brian said in tears.

	Kevin went over to Brian and held him close.

"I would never turn my back on you.  I just...I was scared.  This is my
life.  My dream and because of choices made by others my dream might get
taken away.  I handled it wrong and I apologize.  I know that to stay
together you guys have to make a lot of sacrifices and I don't know about
Nick, but if you guys agree, I will put myself with the same restrictions
you have.  I won't go out.  I won't take time off.  I'll be with ya'll."

"I was thinking the same." Nick said. "Why should you guys get punished so
we can have our dream.  We're all for one right?"

"Yeah.  Cause we can do this.  Screw the execs, we're family and nothings
going to break that." AJ said

"As long as I can see my family I'm good." Howie said.

"Then lets call those execs back to the board room and lay out a deal."
Kevin said.

	Within a half hour the guys were back in the room.  This time I was
outside with Britney.

"Why do you think they left you out?" she asked.

"I don't know Brit, but I'll be honest, I' m scared."

"Of what?  The guys are good now.  They'll get a deal."

"I'm not so sure.  I just have this bad feeling." I said.

	After two hours of waiting and having Dom and Brit fall asleep on
me, the doors opened and the guys came out.

"What happened?" I asked.

"Well, we agreed to not publicly be gay.  As far the public is concerned I
am the only gay man.  The others are straight.  We get breaks in between
touring and appearances to see our families.  You, Dom and Drew are allowed
to visit us on tour.  As long as things are discreet we can go out and have
fun." Howie said.

"We get our dream, with catches." Brian said.

"Now, we should get to bed.  We got a press conference in the morning."
Kevin said.

	Britney had already got a room for herself while Dom and me were in
with Howie.  We got to the room and put Dom in his car seat and got into
the bed and just held each other.

"I just want you to know.  I was ready to walk way from it all tonight.
You and Dom are my life.  Music is a backseat.  Push comes to shove you two
are the most important things."

	I just held him and nodded.  It scared me to think that if someday
it came down to it that Howie would walk away from the band.  But at the
same time it excited me to know that he loved us that much to give up
everything to be with us.  We fell asleep until the wake up call came.

	We awoke with a feeling of apprehension.  We dressed and dropped
Dom off with brit.  We met the guys at the elevator and rode down in
silence.  The limo picked us up and we headed to the conference.

	We arrived and found the same execs from the previous night.  They
explained that Howie and I would be brought out and asked questions and
then the guys would come out.

	We were seated and the press came in.  Howie and I in the middle
with Jeff on my side and Howie's agent on his.  The questions started and
Jeff fielded them.  There were a lot asking Howie about how long he's
known, what his family thought, how we came to have a son.

	On that one we agreed not to pull Dom into it.  His mother was
something we would tell him about when he was older.  This was not
something we wanted him reading about in the papers.  Howie didn't go into
detail, just stating that Dom was our son.

	I got questions about bringing Howie into the gay community.  If we
would be active spokespersons.  How we were going to raise our son.

	Then the guys were brought out and they were asked if they were
gay, what their views on homosexuality were.  To this Kevin took lead and
told them that they were totally accepting of it and it didn't change
anything about us, we were still the same people.

	After it ended the execs told us that it went well.  The guys had a
show rehearsals starting in two days and things would continue on as
normal.

	We sent the day in groups.  Howie, Dom and myself in our room
spending some time together.  Britney went with AJ and brian to shop.
Nick's brother Aaron was in town so they went to a game.  And Kevin spent
time with his fiancé.

	 The tour being reinstated to start in March, the guys had a lot of
rehearsals to get back into the groove.  Howie and brian came back to
Tucson for one night and the next day were going to have leave for the
tour.  Brian went to Jordan's, Dom with my parents as Brit disappeared the
moment we arrived and Howie and me went to our room.

	I helped Howie pack up his stuff so he wouldn't have to in the
morning.  When we were finished, Howie went to the bathroom to shower and I
undressed.  When he came back in the room I was laying naked on the bed
waiting for him on my stomach.

	He came over to the bed and ran his hand up my leg until he reached
my ass.  He used both hands to massage it.  Then he pulled in close and
started to rim my hole.  I gripped the blankets and arched my back as he
went deeper into me with his tongue.  He turned me over and went down on my
throbbing cock.  Engulfing the entire shaft he bobbed it while playing with
my lubed ass.

	He looked up at me with his mouth around my cock.

"Babe, I want you in me so bad.  Fuck me please?" I asked.

	Without a word he dropped his robed spit on his hand.  Rubbing it
into his cock he looked down at me with a smile.

"I love you baby." he said.

"I love you too." I said and raised my legs into the air.

	He knelt to me and grabbed my legs and pushed me up so my asshole
was flush with his cock.  He leaned forward and entered me all at once.  I
gasped and then he was on me, kissing me deeply while he pounding in and
out of my ass.  I could hear his balls slapping as I felt his tongue
exploring my mouth.

	I pushed him back and without letting go of his cock, sat atop him
and starting to ride his cock.  He groaned and wrapped a hand around my
cock as well, jacking it to the rhythm I was setting.  I tightened my ass
around his cock and he started to groan and arch his back.

"Babe, I'm cumming." he moaned.

"yeah baby, shoot it up my ass." I said as I pound my ass against his
torso.

	He groaned one final time and with a fluid motion flipped me onto
my back and pounded his cock into my ass as it released its hot load of
cum.  As soon as I felt the first spurt, I lost control of my cock and
started to shoot across my chest.  For a minute we shot our loads and then
Howie collapsed on me panting.

	We just held each other for a while as our cum cooled and congealed
between us.  His cock grew soft and slipped out of my ass with a pop.  We
both laughed and kissed again.  We stood and went into the bathroom to
shower each other off.

	We got into the shower and as the steam started to rise, lather up.
I took the loofa sponge and worked the soap into his chest and arms.  Then
I knelt and did the same to his legs and finally his cock.  Hanging there
limply it was still impressive and as I cleaned it, it started to rise.  I
stood and turned Howie around.  I worked the sponge into his back and then
down to his legs.  Then I massaged his ass cheeks.  Giving into temptation
I parted them and stuck my tongue into his ass.

	He moaned and leaned into the wall, pushing his ass against me.  I
rimmed the perimeter of his hole with my tongue til he moaned for me to
stick it in.  I tongue fucked his ass while I gripped my rock hard cock and
pumped.  Spitting on my hand I lubed my cock and stood.  I put the head
right at his hold and slowly pushed.  Howie pushed back and engulfed me.

	I put my hands around his waist and started to pump his ass with a
rhythm.  The hot water falling upon us reminded me of the waterfalls on our
honeymoon.

	Howie met me with every thrust.  I reach around and gripped his
cock and started to pump.  I leaned forward and whispered into his ear "Cum
with me".

	He started to moan and I rammed into his ass faster and gripped his
cock tighter.  His ass tightened around my cock and I saw cum shoot against
the wall and I lost it.  Blew a fresh load up his ass while slamming in and
out.

	We rinsed off again and exhausted, fell asleep as soon as we hit
the bed.  We awoke the next morning to the alarm clock.  Howie got dressed
in sports shorts and a muscle shirt and went to go pick Dom up from my mom.
I went down the hall and knocked on Brian's door.  He opened fully dressed
and smiled.

"Breakfast?" I asked.

"Yeah, let me tell you about last night." he said.

	We went into the kitchen where I started mixing waffle batter.
While Brian sat on the counter talking.

"It was amazing Craig.  I went to Jordan's and the sex was more intense
than ever."

"Yeah it tends to get like that when you know your not gonna have it for a
while." I smiled.

"Totally.  And then we talked.  I told him that I know he doesn't want to
get together and he told me that he knew I wanted to.  While he's not ready
to commit, he told me that he does have feelings for me.  Its just hard
because the scheduling and all.  I don't know how you and Howie do it.
With one of you being on the road it has to suck.  But at least I know that
it wasn't just sex with him.  He wants to call me."

"Cool Brian.  I am happy for you."

	Howie got back and we had breakfast together one last time.  He
played with Dom til he fell asleep.  He put him to bed and came back down
to the living room where Brian and me waited with the bags.  He hugged me
from behind.

"I love being in the band, but I loved being a home guy." he sighed.

"I know babe, one day. Here I have something for you." I said.

	I reached over and grabbed an envelope from the couch.  He put his
arm around me and I showed him the pictures I had taken during this time.
There were a lot of him playing with Dom, feeding him, laying on the floor
doing pushups and Dom tried to, and the best one, Howie laying on the floor
asleep with Dom on his chest sleeping as well.

"Baby, these are awesome." he said with moist eyes. "I love you and can't
wait til I am home with you again."

	The limo pulled up and honked.  I went out with the guys and helped
them load.  Then Howie and me embraced and kiss.  One of those kisses from
a Hepburn/Tracy movie.  We let each other go and smiled sadly.  He got into
the limo and pulled away.  I looked across the street and saw the car with
Chad and Armand in it.  I smiled and waved and they nodded back.

	I went back in the house and sat in the family room with a sigh.
Lucky came up to me and licked my hand.  I looked at him sadly.

"He's gone again, but he'll be back boy."

	I listened to the monitor and could hear dom breathing deeply.  I
got up and walked around the house.  I went down to Howie's office and
walked around the desk and sat in his chair.  The room smelled like him,
much like his closet did.  I looked around at all the pictures of the
Backstreet boys and smiled.  I know that in my heart I never wanted them to
break up but at the same time had a small hope that they would and me and
Howie would get that normal life.

	The phone rang and I jumped to answer it.  I grabbed the extension
on Howie's desk.

"Hello?"

"C-craig.  I need help."

"Britney?"

"Come over...please." she sobbed and hung up.

	Freaking I ran up the stairs and grabbed Dom.  He awoke and looked
at me then smiled.  I grabbed his diaper bag and Lucky's leash.  Hooking
him up I went out the front door locking it.  I set the alarm and went down
the walk to the gate.  Armand rolled his window down.

"everything alright Mr. Bingham?" he asked.

"Just fine, going down the street to visit with brit." I said with a fake
smile.

	I closed the gate and walked down the street towards brit's.  I was
worried bad but couldn't show it to the guards.  I thought back to the
previous weeks.  Not answering her call's and acting weird.  I only hoped
that nothing bad had happened.

	I got to her house and found the door unlocked.  I walked in and
called for her.  No response.  I let go of Lucky and he ran to the next
floor.  I chase after him and found him in Brit's suite.  He was licking
her tears.  She sat on the floor next to her bed sobbing.  I knelt down and
put my arm around her.

"What's wrong?" I asked as the sobbing slowed.

"Oh Craig its horrible."

"Is your family ok?  Did something happen brit?"

"They...they're fine.  I don't know how their going to be after they find
out though/"

"Britney what is it." I asked.

	She looked up at me with a tearstained face.  Dom reach for her
with a smile.  She smiled at him and took his hand in hers.  She smiled
awkwardly.

"I'm pregnant."

To be continued....

Thanks for all the emails, its nice to know that you all enjoy reading it
as much as I do writing it.  Keep it coming, love reading them and
responding to them.  Stay tuned for the next part...Cj