Date: Sun, 1 Apr 2001 16:49:52 EDT
From: SweetAngel472023@aol.com
Subject: 'No Way Out'   Chapter 2

'Starting Anew'
Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Not real. FICTION. I completely made this story up, and I am not
implying anything about the sexuality of anyone involved. Oh, and if you're
too young to be reading this or if you're homophobic (in which case you
shouldn't even be at the gay male boyband archive) please leave.

Hello there. Here is the second chapter of my story. I have nothing
intelligent and/or witty to say, so I'll just go right along with the story.
Enjoy!
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    Justin started to hear commotion in the back of the bus earlier than
expected. He wondered who it was that had gotten up so early. He didn't have
to wait long to find out. Just a few moments later, Joey appeared in the
kitchen, clad only in boxers, and his hair sticking out in all directions.

    "Morning. Didn't expect to see you up so early." Justin greeted his
bandmate. Joey grunted some sort of reply then proceeded to fix himself some
coffee. In the morning, he couldn't function before he had had some coffee.
Ten minutes later, after he had taken his first sip of the brown liquid, he
was finally able to reply to Justin.

    "Morning to you too. And it's not that early." He said. Justin looked
surprised.
    "I'm beginning to think that you are actually not having a hangover. Why
is that?" Joey dramatically rolled his eyes.
    "I don't always get drunk. Besides, we spent most of the time talking
about you." As soon as it was out, Joey started cursing himself silently. He
really had the great talent of putting his foot in his mouth at all the right
moments.

    Justin was slightly taken aback.
    "Why were you talking about me?" There was no point in even asking the
question. He knew very well why they would have a meeting about him.
    "Because you have been...different lately. And we are all worried about
you, to say the least. And we are trying to figure out what we could do to
help you." Joey explained. Justin sighed. He didn't want his friends worrying
about him, but he also wasn't ready to just tell them what had been bothering
him. He slumped back onto his seat and covered his face in his hands.

    ** I love them. They are all such great friends to me. More like brothers
actually. But I can't just tell them. Or can I? Why not tell Joey? I'm sure
he would like to listen and help me out. But I can't tell him. I'm too
cowardly to tell him. I'm going crazy, aren't I? It's like I am a prisoner in
my own mind. I want so badly to tell someone how I feel about Josh, but I
just can't. And I even know why.

    Telling someone would make it final. I wouldn't only have admitted it to
myself, but also to some real life person out there, and somehow I feel that
that would make my feelings irreversible. That it would give them extra
weight. And I don't want that. I want to keep them to myself so that I can
pretend that they aren't even there at all. **

    "Just, are you okay?" Justin sighed. Hearing the worry in Joey's voice
made him feel incredibly guilty for keeping to himself.
    "Please, you have to talk to someone. I know that I have a reputation for
not being able to keep secrets, but you could talk to Josh. I mean, you guys
are so close, and he's worried sick." At the mention of JC's name, Justin
flinched and felt the tears welling up in his eyes. He jumped up from his
seat and raced to the bathroom, locking himself in. He couldn't afford to
have a breakdown in front of Joey. That would only lead to more questions.

    Joey refilled his coffee mug and went back to the sleeping area of the
bus. Lance and Chris were still asleep, but JC was sitting on the edge of his
bed, stretching.
    "Morning babe." Joey greeted him.
    "Shh, Chris is already awake." JC hissed. Joey turned to check if the
curtain at Chris's bunk was still drawn shut, the leaned forward and placed a
quick kiss on his boyfriend's lips.  JC grabbed Joey, pulled him into the
bunk and drew the curtain shut.
    "And now I want a real good morning kiss." He whispered with a smirk.
Joey didn't have to be asked twice.

    Even though he had never said it and no one had ever asked, they all knew
that Joey was bi-sexual. They had not been surprised the first time they had
seen him take a male fan up to his room at night. Somehow they had even
expected it. It was just the kind of person Joey was. The wild child of the
group, he had to do everything.

    It was only natural then, that JC came to Joey when he began to question
his sexuality. They spent endless nights talking about everything.
Eventually, one thing led to another and one night they ended up making out.
Not long after, they confessed their feelings for each other.

    It was because of Joey's constant urging that JC finally came out to the
group when he became more comfortable with himself. By then, they were
seriously dating. But it was still too early to say where their relationship
would lead them, so they kept quiet about it.  Now they knew that it was
real, but they didn't know how to explain it to the others. What would they
say, how would they react?

    Justin was sitting on the cold bathroom floor, hugging his knees to his
chest. He could feel the hot, salty tears make their way down his cheek and
dripping on his bare arms.

    **I think I really am going crazy. Heck, I'm probably crazy already. I am
making way too big of a deal out if this. I should just talk to him. What's
the worst that could happen? I mean, he's my best friend. He won't hate me
for this. And maybe, if I am lucky, he even returns my feelings.

    Ok, I'll talk to him. I will! This has been going on way too long already
anyway. Tonight, after the concert, I'll go to his room and I'll tell him. **

    Satisfied with the decision he had reached, he pulled himself off the
ground. As he saw his reflection in the mirror, he winced. The face looking
back at him had bloodshot eyes rimmed with dark circles, standing out against
skin that was so pale it seemed almost transparent. The cheeks were tear
streaked and he looked incredibly tired and worn out.

    With a sigh he turned on the faucet and splashed the cold water onto his
face. Today was going to be the last day of misery. Starting tonight, he
would transform himself back into the Justin he used to be.

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Aahh...the plot thickens. Will Justin talk to JC? Will he find out that JC is
dating Joey? Tune in next time to get all the answers.
Take care
j