Date: Sun, 06 Jun 1999 01:42:30 -0700 From: Zeo Subject: N Sync Love Pt.10 ** The long awaited segement is finally completed. Here it is and I ** hope all of you like it. ** Comments, suggestions, rants and raves: ** Mail: zeo@sfsu.edu AIM: Zeo M ICQ: 31565736 Chapter 19: Choices "What are you talking about?" Jerry looked at me oddly. "Lance wrote me a letter and says that the sketches I drew for them about their next video are going to be used," I slowly said. "What!" I nodded my head, "Yeah...they want more input from me so I'll be going to Florida for about 10 days." "When are you leaving?" Jerry sounded excited. "Saturday." "Saturday? That's two days from now." "I know. I still have to clear this with Scott. You think he'll let me go." "I don't know, but it's worth a shot," Jerry encouraged me to go on. "Ok..I'll tell him after my shift's over." "Why don't you tell him now?" he asked. "Now?" I replied dumbfounded. "Well yeah! Nothing is going on, so why don't you ask?" "What if he's doing something right now?" trying to make excuses. "I know what you're trying to do," eyeing me, "Just go in and tell him. It's no big deal." I took a deep breath, "Okay...I'm going." I got off the chair and looked at Jerry for a moment and then headed out the door. It was a pretty short walk to Scott's office, but it seemed like to take hours just getting there. The next thing I knew, I was standing in front of Scott's door and just staring at the wood. I snapped back to reality and slowly knocked at the door. "Come in," Scott said from the other side. I slowly turned the knob and opened the door. "Hey Mano," he said surprised, "Have a seat." I took a seat in front of his desk. "What's on your mind?" he said while looking over some papers. "Well..I was just wondering if..." I started to say. He stopped reading and peered over the top of the pages, "You're not quitting are you?" "No..no..it's not that," I quickly spoke "Then what is it?" putting down the papers. "I was wondering if I could have the next couple of weeks off?" A small bit of silence lingered in the air, "Well..this is short notice..." he spoke. "Yeah I know. I understand if..." I stopped as he stared at me. "As I said, this is a short notice, but since we aren't going to get anything big until the end of July..." My eyes widened, "Really?" He nodded, "Sure..It's not a problem. If you don't mind...what's the occasion?" I thought of something to say, "I'm visiting relatives down in Orlando. I recently got a letter from them and I haven't seen them in years," I completely lied. "Okay..not a problem. Have fun then," he nodded his head and resumed reading the report. I got off the chair and left his office. Once the door was closed I started to jump from excitement. I was thrilled to be able to go to Orlando and meet up with the guys. I was also thrilled that I get to have direct input on what the next video is going to be. I was totally hyper. I thought that I ran from his office to the other one where Jerry was waiting, but in fact, I walked really fast. I flung open the door and Jerry looked up. "He said yes didn't he," giving me a smile. "You got that right," I beamed back, "I'd better hurry up and finish my rounds so I can get ready for the trip." "Hold on," slowing down the pace, "You've still got two days till you leave. Take your time. You don't want Scott to be up in your ass cause you made a mistake in the reports." I sighed, "Yeah...I suppose, but I don't care." "You're hopeless," he laughed. "Guess I am." I bounced back downstairs and everybody looked at me as if I was on drugs or something. They were in total shock that I changed from a grumpy ass to a guy who's just bouncing all over the place. I was conversing with the employees and cracking jokes when no customers were around. It was like a party just sprung out of nowhere. I did the usual routine of counting the money, checking inventory, and logging people off. Time was flying and the next thing I knew, my shift was over and I was driving back home with a huge smile on my face. I raced back home, not breaking any laws of course, and bolted quickly into the house. Grabbing the suitcase I used before, I quickly packed the clothes which I was going to use while in Orlando. Neatly and methodically, I arranged all the clothes in the case. Once done I plopped down on the couch to catch a breather. Wondering what's on, I picked up the remote and surfed through the channels. Mindless things were flashing across the screen. Infomercials, scantily clad women, typical shootings passed by as I went from channel to channel. Then something caught my eye. "Hi, I'm Kurt Loder with MTV News," I stopped at MTV, "The new pop sensation, N Sync, has taken a small break from their busy tour to start work on their next single," my eyes grew wide as I strained to hear every word the announcer was saying. "In a recent interview with JC and Justin, here's what they have to say about their upcoming single as well as other tidbits of their lives." I was practically bouncing up and down, eagerly anticipating the sight of JC. God how I missed him so much. "We took some time off from the tour so we can get our next video up and running," JC answered. There was something different about him. He didn't looked quite right. I did notice the scraggly beard he was growing as well as the small moustache. I was a little bit thrown off because it wasn't like him to look like that... "We won't start yet until Monday," Justin continued, "We still need to discuss a few things before we can start," I smiled knowing what he was talking about. "Off the topic," the interviewer spoke, "Everyone is dying to know if you guys are dating?" JC answered rather quickly at the question, "Well, I don't know about the rest of the guys, but I'm currently seeing someone. Sorry ladies," giving that smiled that I used to like.... "Well...I'm still single," Justin replied with a half-hearted laugh. Enough. I clicked off the TV and sat there on the couch. I couldn't believe what I just saw. JC admitted that he's seeing someone else, but wait...Could he be talking about me? Or was it some other chick like I was lead to believe. One thing's for sure, I loved him and I'm going to get to the bottom of this no matter what it'll cost. That pretty much ruined my day... For the next two days, I was overly excited during work and everyone wondered what happened to me. Somehow, everyone knew that I wasn't going to be working for the next two weeks. They tried everything to make me talk, but I didn't say a word. I have this philosophy that my personal life should be kept personal and that I'll only share it to whomever I want to share it with. The only person who knew where I would be going was Jerry. I trust him a lot...He's like a big brother. Fun to be around with, but I digress. The day flew by and it was Saturday morning. My flight leaves in an hour or so and everything was ready to go. I made sure that I had the tickets with me and the suitcase as well. I shut down everything in the house and opened the door. To my surprise, Jerry was waiting for me in his car. I walked over to the window and we started chatting. "What are you doing here?" with a puzzled look on my face. "I'm here to take you to the airport," he answered nonchalantly. "You don't have to," I replied. "It doesn't matter, I'm here now so might as well." I agreed and he popped the trunk so that I could stuff the case in. Once secure, I stepped into the passenger side and we were off. "Nervous?" "Yeah...a little." "How so?" I couldn't tell him that I was nervous to see JC, "Well, I'm not sure what to expect with the video concepts and all." "Don't worry, you'll do fine. Besides, they can always make up their own stuff. Just enjoy your vacation." I smiled, "Know what? You're right. I'll just hang out and spend some time with the guys. I haven't seen them in a while." "That's the spirit," he laughed, "Just as long as you don't do anything stupid or anything." I laughed a little, "I won't." During the 15 minute ride to SFO, we talked about what I think I was going to do. Of course I had no idea so we threw everything around. Ranging from directing the thing to being in it. I doubt that I was going to be in the video. Even if I was going to be in it, I was going to turn it down. Never did like cameras. Soon enough, we were at the airport and he parked along the curb. "Well," Jerry spoke, "Have fun and I'll see you in two weeks." "Don't worry, I will. See you later," I said and stepped out of the car and pick up the suitcase from the trunk. I stood at the curb, turned and waved at Jerry. He smiled and waved back. I turned around and stepped towards the double sliding doors. During the weekends, the airport is busy and today is no exception. As I walked towards the appropriate gate, I passed by all sorts of people. None of them were interesting, but a few caught my eye. I shook that out of my head for my heart belonged to one person. Approaching the gate, sounds of people talking in different languages, children running and screaming, and the buzz of the speakers echoed through the area. I stopped to look at a couple who were deeply in love and my stomach started to turn. I knew why, but I ignored it. Fifteen minutes till departure, the plane was beginning to be boarded. I handed them the ticket and I surprised that I would be flying first class. `Lance went all out with this one,' I thought to myself. This was another first. I get to sit up front with the large, roomy, and comfortable seats. The steward helped me put the suitcase in the overhead compartment and I sat back down when we finished putting it away. Slowly the plane began to fill with passengers. The usual noises of people talking about their flight as well luggage being put away resonated throughout the plane. It was a mixed bunch, but mostly nothing that I would ever be interested in. The good looking ones were too far back in the plane for me to see, but that didn't matter. I slouched into my seat and fastened the seat belts. The typical in-flight demonstration of how the seats can be used as a floatation device and such came and went and soon the plane was rolling into position. Planes were never such a problem, just the occasional popping of the ears which bothered me the most. To counter this annoying thing, I usually chew some gum and no more worries. The in flight movie was pretty boring. I don't remember what it was because I fell asleep before it started. Lunch wasn't there either, I was too tired to eat. I guess all of the excitement going to Orlando left me a little bit drained. When I woke up, the seatbelt sign was flashing prominently. I never left my seat and never bothered to unbuckle it. Soon enough, the plane started to bank and make the landing procedures. Everything slowed down and the next thing, the wheels were rolling on the runway and the plane came to a slow stop. We were given instructions to unbuckle our seatbelts and the people in first class were giving the go to get out first. Ah, the wonders of first class. I slowly walked down the ramp which connected the terminal to the plane not knowing if Lance was going to be there. At the end of the tunnel, this airport was busier than back home. I stepped out a few feet from the exit to prevent people from crashing into me. I slowly scanned the area and I didn't see Lance anywhere. Some welcoming committee. I grabbed a seat and put my case in front of me. I looked out through the windows and let out a small sigh. `Guess he forgot,' I thought to myself. "Are you just gonna sit there all day?" a deep voice echoed from behind. I immediately recognized it and quickly stood up and turned around. It was Lance giving me a big smile as well as some other person whom I didn't recognize. I didn't care and gave a deep hug to Lance and he returned the hug. "I thought you were late?" I asked. "Me? Late? Never," he replied sarcastically and we both laughed, "Oh Mano, this my friend Jay." We shook hands, "Nice to meet you," I said. "Nice to meet you too," he replied shyly, "Lance told me a lot about you." "Oh really?" cocking an eyebrow towards Lance. Lance just looked around not making eye contact and then smiling, "All good I hope?" "Well..." The three of us laughed, "That's okay. I can take the abuse." "Come one, you know we love you." "Yeah, yeah. I know you guys do. So where to now?" "I dunno. Want to get something to eat first?" "Good idea. I didn't get a chance to eat on the plane. Any suggestions?" Jay spoke up, "There's this nice Italian restaurant we passed by on the way here." "That sounds like a good place," Lance responded. "They serve all sorts of pasta and stuff like that," Jay explained as we walked towards the exit. "Do they have vegetarian stuff?" I asked. "I don't know," Jay thought, "But they probably do." I looked at Lance for a minute and he looked at me. He could see my puzzlement on my face about Jay and then he looked away. "Ok...sounds good," I said to Jay, "Say Lance, does any of the other guys know that I'm here?" "They know that you're coming, but not sure when you'll be here. Everyone is excited, especially Justin." "Justin?" I asked surprised, "What about JC?" trying to sound not so excited about the answer. "JC? I don't really know. He's been going with Stephanie for about a week now and we really haven't hung around him much." "Oh...I see," I replied and Jay quickly glanced in my direction, "So, are we ready to go get some lunch?" "Yeppers," Jay replied and Lance nodded his head. We walked towards Lance's car in the garage area. I put my suitcase in trunk and hopped aboard. Jay was sitting in the front while I took the back seat. I had a pretty good idea what was going on, but I'll talk about it where it's quiet. The drive was quick as the restaurant was fairly close by. It was a pretty good looking place. The outside walls were of a tan rock-like material which gave the feel of the old west. The large windows were slightly tinted and shined softly in the sunlight. We entered in and everything was sort of dark. It wasn't completely dark, but pretty dim. It made the whole place look bigger. Lance asked for a table for three in a far corner and we waited about 10 minutes to be seated. It wasn't too crowed, but since we wanted a specific place, it took a little longer. Once seated we looked through the menu. Lance ordered some lasagna minus the mushrooms, Jay decided to get some seared beef on angel hair pasta and I ordered the seafood combo over pasta. All three of us also ordered Sprite for drinks. We handed the waiter our menus and chatted a bit about the place. "This is a nice place," I commented, "I should go out more often." "You're right, this is a nice place," Lance looked towards Jay and gave him a smile, "We should go out more." Jay looked back and smiled, "Well, I don't go out often enough." "You should...I'll give you a tour of the city one of these days." I looked at both of them, "So, how long have you guys been going out?" I said bluntly and quietly. Jay snapped his head in my direction and froze, "Well...uhh.. ummm." he stuttered out. Lance laughed, "We been together for a little over two weeks." "That's good," I calmly replied, "Told you there was nothing to worry about and everything was going to work out find." "Yeah you were right," Lance smiled. Jay looked at us with astonishment, "You knew about this?" "Yep," I smiled at Jay, "I knew all along." Lance nodded in agreement, "Mano helped me out a lot during that time. I owe him one." "You don't have to do that, but there is one thing that I want to ask though." "Which is?" Lance cocked an eyebrow. "Have you told the rest of the guys?" I said calmly. Lance looked at me, then looked at the table with his head hung low, "No," he replied softly. "I see...Don't worry about it though. When you're ready, I'm sure you'll tell them," I tried to soothe Lance. Jay wrapped his arm around Lance's shoulder and comforted him a little. "Thanks," Lance said, "It's just that I've wanted to tell them so badly, but I'm scared to do so." "Like I said, don't worry about it. When the time comes, you will." Lance raised his head and smiled, "I'm sure it will come. I believe you." "Good...now where's the food," I complained. Jay and Lance laughed and we started talking about everything. The food finally came and we all dug in. It seems like all of us were a tad bit hungry and devoured the meal within a few minutes. Dessert wasn't that bad either. We had the best tasting chocolate mousse cake this side of the coast...so far. When lunch was over, I pulled out my wallet so I can pay for my part of the meal. Lance shook his head and paid for it instead with his card. I wanted to pay him back, but he is as stubborn as I remembered he is. I gave up when I knew that Lance wasn't going to budge and he smiled back winning the debate. We filed back out of the restaurant and into the car. It was a beautiful spring day in Orlando. Many cars were on the road because it was a nice Saturday afternoon. In the neighborhood where Lance lived, there were kids playing on lawns, dads cooking on the grill, and moms pushing their strollers on the sidewalk. It was like a Kodak moment. Too bad I didn't bring my camera with me. We pulled into Lance's driveway and the house looked very cool. Much better than my house for sure. I grabbed the suitcase from the trunk and followed Lance with Jay by his side. I was suspicious of Lance's motives, but I will have to talk to him when he's alone. Lance opened the door and I stepped in. Before I went in all the way, I noticed a pile of shoes in the corner near the door. I knew why they were there. I slipped off my shoes and placed it with the others. Lance and Jay did the same thing. It was a very spacious home. The ceiling was quite high and ended with a skylight. A fireplace was situated in the center of one of the walls. On the mantle were numerous pictures of Lance, his sister, mom and dad. What a wholesome family. Above the mantle was a print of the Last Supper. Now I understood why Lance was in anguish back in San Francisco. He must have grown up in a very religious place. I don't blame him one bit. "Mom!" Lance called out, "Mom, I'd like you to meet someone." A few minutes later a petite woman with sharp features entered the living room area. "Hi honey," she hugged Lance, "I didn't know you were coming by this early. Hi there Jay. How are you doing?" "I'm doing fine thanks," Jay smiled at her. She turned to look at me and gave a large smile, "Why hello there sugar. Lance told me you would be staying. How are you Hon?" I blushed a little, "I'm fine thank you. Nice to meet you," I reached out to shake hands. "Oh there will be none of that," she gave me a hug and quick peck on the cheek, "You don't have to be so formal around here." "But I'm a guest..." I started to argue. "Nonsense," she spoke up quickly, "As long as you're going to stay in this house, you're part of the family." I didn't really know what to say, "Thank you for the hospitality." "Don't mention it sugar," she smiled at me, "Oh, Lance honey, I'll be doing some work so I won't be home later tonight. Will you be okay till then?" "Yeah. No problem mom," Lance replied. "Well I'd better going now. Good-bye Hon and to you too Mano." "Good-bye," I sheepishly replied. She smiled once more and headed out the door. I let out a loud sigh. Lance laughed, "Never knew you were that nervous." "Parents always make me nervous," I explained, "You have a nice mom." "Thanks. I'll show to your room," Lance led the way and I followed him up the stairs. "Your family knows that I'm staying here for 10 days?" I inquired. "Yep. I asked them a while back and they were cool about it." "That's pretty cool," as we entered a guest room, "This is nice." "Sorry for the lack of furnishings. Well, this is where you'll be staying while you're here." I put my suitcase down and turned to Lance. I gave him a deep hug, "Thanks for everything." "No don't thank me," he replied and broke the hug, "I should thank you for being such a good friend." I blushed, "Awe shucks..." Lance giggled, "Well, umm, I'm going out with Jay for a little while. Are you going to be all right by yourself?" "Of course I'm going to be all right," I rolled my eyes back, "You two have fun." Lance smiled, "Okay, see you in a bit." He turned around and walked out the door. I could hear his footsteps while he walked down the stairs as well as some mumbling. The front door opened and then close. Alone once again. No matter where I go, I would always be alone. I sighed and opened my suitcase. I took out the basic stuff like a mirror, toothbrush, and some other stuff. I placed them on the dresser so I could have access to them later. I was curious how Lance lived, so I decided to get a self tour of the house. On the second floor, there were a few other doors in the hallway. I can only imagine that they were the bathrooms, bedrooms, den, etc. Nothing was really interesting up here so I took a look downstairs. Everything was neat and in its place. There was also a piano against the wall near the fireplace. It was a black baby grand which was maintained very well. Family pictures showing Lance as a kid decorated the top of it. He looked so cute. I wandered about and found myself in the kitchen area. Again everything was spotless and in their proper places. A few pieces of paper were stuck onto the refrigerator. Probably some grocery list or something like it. I was feeling a bit tired from the plane trip. It was likely due to the time difference and I would have to get used to it for a while. As I walked back up the guest room, I noticed all of the religious objects which decorated the walls. It wasn't like every where I turned there was a religious symbol, but there was enough to notice. I really felt bad for Lance and why he would be afraid to come out. One side, he's being told that being gay is wrong, and on an other side, it's okay. He must have been torn between the two. I'm happy that he has figured some things out, but it's going to take time for him to fully accept. I'll just have to wait and see. I finally reached the room and I crawled into bed. The bed was nice and warm. It felt just right. I didn't know why, but it did. I was soon fast asleep. I woke up a few hours later and saw that the windows were dark. I looked at my watch and it was already 9 o'clock. I must have slept like a log. Now my stomach was growling again and I knew that I had to make something. I checked the fridge earlier and there was nothing to eat, but plenty of food to make something. I trudged back downstairs into the kitchen area. I don't think I'll ever get used to going up and down stairs. Not only it used more energy, but I could fall down and hurt myself...Oh well, guess I have to get used to it for a few days. While heading towards the kitchen, I could hear some sort of muffled noises. The closer I got, the louder it became. I couldn't make it out. When I reached the kitchen, I turned to see where it was coming from. To my surprise, it was Jay and Lance. Both of them were in a tight embrace, feverishly kissing each other. `Okay...that's it,' I thought to myself, `This has got to stop.' It was so tacky it wasn't even funny. Making out in the kitchen...sheesh. It looked like they didn't notice me because they were too busy being into each other to care. I quietly went over to the drawers and slowly opened it. I found what I was looking for and pulled out a knife. I closed the drawer, but it made a slight noise. Jay and Lance jumped away from each other and spun in my direction. They were scared stiff when they saw me with the knife. I turned towards them slowly and took a small step. "Uhh...Mano...Wh..what are you doing?" Lance stuttered. "What does it look like I'm doing?" I calmly said and took another small step. "Mano...don't overreact," Lance pleaded, "I..err we didn't know that you were down here," I took another small step. "Please Mano," Jay started, "I can explain...It just happened." At this point, I was basically toe to toe with Lance, his face full of fright. "Could you two move away from the fridge?" I calmly asked. Their jaw dropped, "Oh...ahem...yeah, okay," Lance sputtered out and slinked away as well did Jay. "Thanks," I said. Lance and Jay looked at each other and astonishment and watched me get some vegetables from the shelves. I turned to look at them, "What?" I asked, "I'm making myself something to eat. Is it okay?" Lance laughed, "Of course it's okay. Sorry, I was thinking of something else." "Like what?" I cocked an eyebrow. "Nothing...It's stupid. Nevermind." I shrugged my shoulders and proceeded to cut the ingredients. "Lance," Jay spoke, "I guess I should be going now." Lance wrapped his arms around Jay's waist, "So soon." "Yeah, I have to work early tomarrow so I prolly have to sleep early." "Okay, I understand." Lance gave Jay a kiss on the lips and escorted him to the front door. I could hear the door open and the car's engine starting. Once Jay went on his way, Lance closed the door and returned to the kitchen. "You gave us quite a scare," Lance joked as he took some juice from the fridge and poured some in a glass. "Me? I knew what I was doing. I don't know about you two," I defended myself. "Yeah, I know. We should be more careful." "No I don't mean that," taking a bit of the chopped salad. "What do you mean exactly?" taking a seat in front of me. "You know what I mean." "No I don't," starting to sound angry. "Okay, let me ask you this...Is this love or lust?" "What are you talking about?" Lance starting to sound pissed. "Do you love Jay or lust for him?" I calmly asked again. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" "Last time, you told me that you loved JC. Now, you're getting yourself involved with Jay as well." "Look Mano, that was then and this is now. I love Jay and that's final," Lance stood up and put his hands on the countertop. I sighed, "You can lie to me, that's fine, but you can't lie to yourself." "I'm not lying." I was getting annoyed with his stubbornness, "Okay..let me put it in another way. This is what you want." I got out of the chair and walked towards Lance. His back was turned towards me and I gently, but firmly, wrapped my arms around his waist. Lance jumped at what I was doing. "This is what you want right now, isn't it?" I whispered in his ear. Lance didn't say a word. He put his hand over mine. "You want someone to hold you, to be there when you are feeling lonely. That's what you want." "But I love Jay, don't I?" Lance said softly. I released my hold and slowly turned Lance around. I looked into his light green eyes, "Possibly, but I can still see JC in your eyes. I'm not sure if you still love him or not." Lance frowned a little, "I have to think about what you said. I probably need someone to be there by my side." "Remember, there will always be people here to help you. Don't you ever forget about that." "I won't. I promise." "Good," I smiled back at him, "I still have to get used to the time change, so I'll see you tomorrow then?" "Sure, I think the guys want to do something with you tomorrow as well. They're dying to see you again." "Yeah," I laughed a little, "I'm sure they are." I put all the dishes in the dishwasher and I headed back to the room. I turned off the lights and plopped onto the bed. Staring at the ceiling, I remember what Lance went through. He cried in my arms confessing that he loved JC for all these years. He was afraid of telling him because it might damage their friendship. But now I'm in love with JC and what am I going to tell Lance? I just told him not to give up...I'm a fickle person. I also thought about JC with his girlfriend. What is going through his mind? I just don't understand it. He loved me, but he doesn't seem to show it at all. Well, I'll just have to see tomorrow when I meet up with the guys. Chapter 20: Reunion Dawn broke through the windows and I could hear the birds sing their morning tune. I slowly opened my eyes and adjusted a little to the light streaming through the windows. I yawned and sat up on the bed. After stretching a little, I hopped off the bed and searched through the clothes I brought. Today would be a casual day. I picked out a pair of khakis, a grey shirt and flannel as well. I grabbed my toothbrush and clothes and headed for the bathroom. It was nice because it was right across from my room. The house was pretty quiet. I would have imagined that someone would be up and about eating breakfast or something, but not a trace of sound was to be heard. I entered the bathroom and closed the door. The first thing I did was to brush my teeth and then run some warm water through the shower. Once the water was flowing, I stepped in and melted under the warmth of the water. I started to relax under the water and almost drifted back to sleep, but I caught myself and finished the shower. After drying myself off, I threw on the clothes I picked and fixed my hair. Once satisfied, I headed out towards the kitchen. Again, no one was around, so I decided to make some pancakes for breakfast. It was only 9, but the morning was beautiful...not a cloud in sight. I was kind of lazy to make the batter from scratch, so I looked around for some powdered mix. Lucky for me there was some mix in one of the cupboards. I took the box and just added some milk and an egg. Mixed them rather quickly and made enough batter for a few cakes. I wasn't that hungry. Hey, I ate twice in a row yesterday. After cooking and eating breakfast, I cleaned the place up. It was another lonely day for me, nothing was going to change. Being bored out of my mind, I headed towards the living room. On the coffee table, there was a note. It read that Lance had to go to the studio for a little while and will be back in an hour or so. Okay, I think I can manage while he was gone. I picked up the remote and started to surf the channels. Gee, I felt like part of the family a little bit too quickly. Using their stuff like it was my own...Oh well. About twenty or so minutes passed before there was a knocking at the door. `Who could that be?' I thought, `Should I answer it?' The knocking continued again. Well, if I am going to be part of the family, I might as well answer the door. I got my butt off the couch and headed for the door. I reached for the knob and slowly turned it. When I opened the door, I almost started to cry. "Mano?" JC's voice echoed through the doorway. I gave a small smile, "Hi JC." There he was in the flesh. I couldn't believe my own eyes. Everything about him was the same as I last remembered. The only exception was the rough beard he was growing as well as the thin moustache. "We thought you were coming today and we thought it would be a good idea to pick you up." I didn't say anything. I instinctively stepped towards him and gave a deep hug. He tried to hug back, but it was weak. He broke off rather quickly. I stepped back and looked at him puzzled. "Wha...what's the matter?" I softly said. JC was searching for an answer, "Umm..I don't think it's a good idea out here in the open." "Y...yeah. That's right. I'm sorry, I forgot," I apologized, "It's just that I couldn't stop thinking of you after you left." "O..oh. Umm..I couldn't stop thinking of you either," he softly spoke. "Want to come in?" "Umm..no it's okay," he stuttered again, "I stopped by to see if Lance was around." "Oh..." I was crushed, "Well, he left a note saying that he's at the studio for an hour or so." "Well it doesn't matter," JC spoke up, "Since you're here, guess the guys can spend more time with you," he smiled at me, "We can call Lance and tell him that we're at Justin's." "Sounds great," I smiled back at him. I quickly slipped on my sneakers and made sure the door was locked. JC lead me to his jeep and we both hopped in. I wanted to be close to him, but every time I was right next to him, JC would change directions. What was going on with this guy? Soon enough, we were on the way to Justin's house. I was really excited to see the guys again, but my attention at the moment was with JC. The ride was a very quiet one. Neither of us spoke during the 30 minute trip. I was unsure if he felt the same way as I do, so I didn't dare to speak. We would occasionally start to talk about the video, weather, what we are going to do, but nothing serious. It wasn't even a long conversation. It took about the whole of 5 minutes each topic and the answers were short and concise. I stared through the window looking at JC's reflection. Thinking the whole way what had gone wrong. Was it me? I didn't know what the answer was let alone the question. It was probably my fault for not calling him in the first place. I could tell that he was confused and unsure of himself. Maybe I pushed him too far? I dunno.... At the end of the ride, I woke up from my daydreaming and saw Justin's house come into view. JC parked the jeep on the driveway next to Justin's car and he shut off the engine. We hopped out of the vehicle and headed towards the door. "The guys are going to flip when they see you," JC said as he unlocked the door. "I'm sure they will," I replied. JC opened the door, "Just, Chris, you here?" he spoke loudly. "Yeah," Justin replied equally loudly, "What's up JC?" "Come here for a sec," JC motioned me to enter the house. Justin walked down the stairs, "What is it J...." He looked down and saw me at the door. His eyes bulged wide and ran the rest of the way. He quickly gave me a deep hug and a large smile. "How're you doing?" I laughed. "My God," Justin commented, "When did you get here?" "I got here yesterday," I said. The three of us walked over to the couch to talk. Justin sat next to me while JC sat on the other one. "Yesterday?" replying quizzically, "Lance told us you were supposed to be here today." "He wanted to surprise everyone," I smiled. "He did one hell of a job," Justin smiled back. "I'm gonna call Lance and tell him to meet us here," JC got up and pulled out his cell. "Good idea," Justin said, "Now we can think of something to do than to wait at the airport." JC walked towards the dining area and proceeded to dial Lance's cell number. "Got any ideas on what we're gonna do?" I asked excitedly. "I dunno yet," Justin thinking of something to do, "How about a little clubbing?" "Clubbing in the middle of the day?" "Yeah. There are a few clubs that are like that. Since it's early, maybe the clubs aren't too full." "Sounds like a good plan to me," I agreed, "So it's just us six who's going?" "Not sure, but probably Jay, Nathan and Steph are going to come as well." "Oh ok...um...who's Nathan?" I asked. "Huh? Oh that's right. You've never met him have you?" I shook my head, "Let me introduce you to him. Nathan!" Justin yelled. "Yep," he yelled back. "Could you come down here, please?" "Sure. Be right there." I cocked an eyebrow at Justin and he laughed at me. I was beginning to get awfully suspicious. Only a couple of minutes passed by when Nathan came down the stairs. A rather tall person, with short blonde hair and bluish eyes. He stopped and sat next to Justin. "Mano, I would like you to meet Nathan. Nathan, Mano," Justin introduced us and we waved at each other. "So this is Mano that everyone is talking about," Nathan spoke in an annoying tone. I just smiled at him. "He's a good friend," Justin defended me and put a hand on my shoulder. I saw Nathan's reaction to that. He was obviously displeased at the sight. "So you're here for the new video?" Nathan leered over a little. "Yeah, wild isn't it," I semi-laughed. "Yeah...wild," Nathan echoed back. Nathan turned to look at Justin, "So Just, what are we gonna do today?" "Well I thought that all of us could go clubbing for a while and then get some lunch when we're done," saying what he told me. "That's cool. Can't wait to dance with ya," Nathan smiled. "Yeah...well, I wanna dance with Mano," he turned to look at me and I blushed a little, "Never did tell us if he could dance," smiling evilly. "Well, didn't Joey tell you that I could dance a little?" I tried to change the subject. "He did, but I want to see it for myself," smiling at me. "Then who am I gonna dance with?" Nathan complained. "I'll dance with you some, then I'll dance with Mano," Justin reasoned calmly. "Okay, no biggie," I said though I really wanted to dance with JC. "What's with all the yelling," Chris bellowed from the stairs, "Did I miss anything?" "Why don't you come down and see," Justin replied. Chris went down the stairs and stopped when he saw me. It was like another rerun of Justin. "Mano!" he said. "Hiya Chris," I beamed a smile. "I thought I usually make the grand entrances," he joked, "Guess I was wrong," I laughed with him. "Guess Lance can make real good surprises," I commented. "He sure can. I'd better keep a closer eye on him from now on," he kidded and we all laughed, "So the big question is...how long are you gonna stay?" "Well taking into account for yesterday, I have nine days to go." "Nine days!" Chris gasped, "That's not nearly enough time. Well, guess we gotta cram everything in those nine days. What do ya say Just?" They exchanged an evil grin, "Count me in." "Uh..I'm not sure if I can keep up with you guys," Chris and Justin laughed, "But I'll try," I smiled at them. "Yes!" Chris exaggerated. "Then it's settled," Justin spoke up, "All of us are going to have a good time clubbing and then grubbing down on something to eat." "Good plan," he agreed, "Now we just gotta wait for everyone to get here." JC walked back into the living room, "They're on their way. I just phoned Lance and Joey and they are heading straight here. It'll take about 10 minutes or so." "Cool. I can't wait to hang out with you guys again. I miss our adventures," I giggled. "So do we," Justin giggled as well. Nathan was looking a little bit annoyed now, "Let me get ready then," he quickly stood up and went upstairs. Once out of sight, I bluntly said, "He doesn't like me, does he?" "Don't worry about him," Justin said, "He gets a little suspicious of everyone." "Yeah, don't worry about him," Chris backed him up, "You'll get used to it." "Oh okay," I replied, knowing that I'll have a long week here. "If he gets too annoying, I'll take him out for ya," Chris winked. "Remember, be nice," Justin interrupted. "I was just kidding," Chris put up his hands in defense. I giggled and shook my head a little. The rest of the guys soon followed in the laughter and we chatted about my life back home. I understood that they didn't want to talk about their lives cause to them it must be boring. Hearing the same old questions and answering them over and over again. Just talking to the guys was refreshing. I felt very comfortable and relaxed with them. The one thing that bothered me was the fact that JC and I never made eye contact. Whenever I looked at him, his eyes would wander around or look at the table. Also, while I was looking at either Justin or Chris, I could see JC looking at me from the corner of my eye. This was way too confusing for me. Conversation promptly ended when Lance, Jay and Joey came by. "MANO!" Joey called and gave me a bear hug. "Hey Joey. You're killing me," in a wheezing voice. "Oh sorry," he released me and everyone laughed, "Guess you know I missed ya huh?" I laughed, "Guess I do," I quickly glanced at Lance and Jay, "So, you guys ready to go have some fun?" "Sure do," Joey chipperly said, "I need a break from work." "Yep," Lance spoke, "We all do." All of us gathered to the coffee table. "We gotta wait for Nathan first," Justin said. "OK," Chris spoke, "Which club are we going to? Any suggestions?" Everyone thought for a while, "How about the new club in the city?" Jay spoke up. "Which one?" Joey replied. "It's called Roxie," Jay replied, "I think it's 21 and over though so I guess some of us can't get it." "Don't worry about that," Joey continued, "We can usually get people in without a problem." "Cool, thanks," Joey smiled at Jay and he returned a smile. "After dancing, we're all going to eat right?" I changed the subject. "Yup, but we'll decide later," Justin said. "Cool." Nathan came back down the stairs dressed nicely. He dressed too much like Justin. "K guys, let's go," Nathan said. "Looks like we're gonna be using the van," Chris said. "Shotgun," Nathan quickly said right after. "No, Mano should get shotgun," Justin said and Nathan frowned a little. "Naa..it's okay. Nathan can have it," I said with Nathan looking up at me curiously. "All settled?" Joey said. Everyone nodded and headed towards the van. Justin took the driver's seat and Nathan quickly hopped into the front passenger's seat. Lance, Jay, and Joey sat in the middle seats, where Jay was in-between them. I, on the other hand, was sitting in the very back next to JC and Chris. Just sitting next to JC made my heart race, but I couldn't do anything because the whole crew is in the same friggin place. Any obvious motion and we would get be grilled for it. No. I could never do that to him. JC must come out to them when the time is right...so must I, sooner or later. Everyone we taking to everybody else. Nathan was chatting with Lance and Justin. Jay was talking with Joey and Lance, but was talking with Joey more. Of course Chris was talking to me for some time, but I didn't get to spend as much time as I wanted with JC. Justin drove at a constant speed through the freeways. Justin took his time getting there. It was prolly because the whole gang is back in action and he really needed a break from the hectic schedule. Or maybe he was just a slow driver? I don't rightly care. Just as long I get to spend time with friends, we could have just stayed at Justin's house and rented a movie. You know...a Blockbuster night. As we entered the city, people and cars were moving about. Justin deftly navigated through the mass of cars and ended up at the club's garage. We stepped out and headed for the entrance. Lance and Justin talked to one of the managers there and within a few minutes the gave us the go ahead to enter the place. Inside was very large and spacious. There were 3 floors each with their own music going on. Everyone decided to go to the second floor since they were playing dance/techno/pop music. Joey quickly scanned the area and found the group a large table. We headed in that direction and Chris ordered a few drinks. Of course they were non-alcoholic and I made sure of that. We talked a bit and watched the other people in the club dance. Lights were blazing everywhere and the music was pumping out very good dance music. "This place is nice," Chris commented, "Good pick Jay." "Yeah...very good pick," Joey added. "Thanks," Jay replied. "Let's stop chatting around and get moving," Nathan stood up and tugged on Justin's arm. "Sounds like a good idea," JC agreeing with Nathan, "Let's get moving." Justin looked kinda shocked at JC's comment, "Okay..let dance." Lance and Jay looked and smiled at each other as they got up. All of us left the table and started to mingle with the crowd. JC, Chris, and Joey found some chick to dance with them. I felt a little depressed that he didn't want to dance near me. I shrugged it off and dance with other people in the club. I was having a really good time just mingling and dancing with a bunch of people. After a while, Justin stopped dancing with Nathan and headed towards my direction. "Hey Mano," he puffed out, "Wanna dance?" "Sure," I replied. We started dancing to some techno beats and he was impressed at some of my skills or lack thereof. Out of the corner of my eye, Nathan was evilly staring in our direction. Getting really fed up with this, I decided to be real blunt with Justin. "Hey Justin," I said and he looked at me, "What's up with Nathan?" "Nathan?" giving a puzzled looked, "Why, what's wrong?" "Seems like he totally want to stick a knife in my back cause I'm dancing with you." "Oh that," Justin giggled. "Huh?" "Well you see, Nathan's gay." "Now I get it...He has a crush on you, right?" "Yep." "Do you feel the same way?" I asked plainly. Justin stared at me for a second not knowing what to say, "No I don't." "Oh okay. Just asking," I resumed my dancing. We danced for a bit longer and as I was going to ask JC if he would want to dance with me, I saw him having a good time with a woman. He got a look at me and then looked away rather quickly. My heart sank. Guess it was true...he doesn't love me anymore. I told Justin that I was going to sit for a bit and get something to drink. I walked back to the same table and ordered a Sprite. I stared at the glass and swirled the ice with my straw. I didn't feel like being here anymore. Everyone was having a good time except me...why was JC avoiding me like this? Why couldn't he say that it was over? This got me even more depressed. As JC was dancing, he saw me sitting alone at the table over the woman's shoulder. He felt something at the pit of his stomach. His heart sank at the sight of me looking down and he knew why. JC couldn't bring himself that he was attracted to other guys and that he fell in love with one. He shook that thought out of his mind and concentrated with dancing. We stayed at the club for about a couple of hours and everyone was pretty tired...except me. The all agreed that it was time to get back home and get some rest. I think that everyone was too tired to go out and eat. Being not tired, Justin asked me to drive them home and he would tell me the way. In order to do so, Justin had to sit up front with me. This really ticked Nathan off and he sat in the back and sulked during the trip home. Well, to my relief, I managed to drive everyone back to Justin's house in one piece. Everyone trudged out of the van and headed inside. I was stopped by Nathan who wanted to talk to me alone. He looked at me jealously, "Don't get too close to him," he warned in a low tone. "Huh?" I looked at Nathan, "What are you talking about?" "Like I said, don't get too friendly with Justin." "Eh? Why's that?" I questioned. "Look, Justin is mine and you better not get in the way," getting defensive. "Okay, okay," I gave in, "He's yours. Sheesh." "Better be," he snapped back and I rolled my eyes away. I walked back in the house and noticed that everyone was flopped on the couch. Nathan scooted next to Justin on one of the bigger one and sorta snuggled next to him. I made a small smile, but made sure that no one saw me. "You guys look wasted," I commented as I sat down on the floor. "Yeah," Chris said, "But it was pretty fun." "Yeppers," Jay agreed. "Sorry we couldn't go out for lunch," Justin apologized. "Hey no biggie," I replied, "You guys are pretty tired and it's understandable. I've still got plenty of time." "Yeah..I should get you back to my place," Lance said. I looked at him for a second, "You look pretty tired. Why don't I just wander around while you rest?" "You sure?" Lance asked. "You have to drop off Jay as well and I don't want you to fall asleep while driving." Lance laughed, "Haven't slept once while driving." "But still," I semi-argued, "I don't want to take that chance." "Hey, I've got an idea," Joey perked up, "I'm not that tired, so why don't we get something to eat while these guys are napping?" I looked at Joey then at Lance, "Sure, why not?" Joey smiled, "Okay then. Lance, are you going to be here in a couple of hours?" "Probably still be around," he replied. "Cool," Joey said, "Ready to go?" I nodded, "I'll see you guys later." "See ya," Justin answered back. Joey and I left the house and hopped into his car. "Anywhere is particular?" Joey asked as he started the car. "Well...I don't know anything about this place so why don't you pick for me?" "Hmmm..okay. I know this cool little cafe where we can eat." "Sounds fine to me," I agreed. We drove for a bit and ended up at the cafe. It was a quaint little place with a very cute atmosphere. We were seated in the corner of the place. I guess that Joey wanted to talk to me or something, I didn't quite figure it out. Quickly glancing through the menu, we ordered our afternoon meal. I wasn't quite that hungry, so I opted for some soup and salad. Joey got the baked chicken special and some appetizers as well. "It's good to see you again," Joey said. "It's good to see you too," I smiled at them, "Things have changed while I was gone." "Yeah," he sighed, "They have." I cocked an eyebrow, "What's the matter Joey?" "I umm..." he started to stutter out. "Come on," I encouraged him, "You're my friend. You can tell me." "I don't know if you want to be if I told you," looking through the window. I was completely puzzled, "What? What can be so big that I won't be your friend?" "I was in...." then mumbled off. "Huh?" He looked at me straight in the eyes, "I was in love with you..." I sat there feeling a bit overwhelmed or was it numb? I couldn't tell. "You...were in love with me?" I questioned back. He dropped his head down, "Yeah...I was...Now you're gonna get up and walk away..." "Huh? What makes you think that I'll walk away from a friend?" He looked back up at me and saw me smiling at him, "You're not angry at me?" "Angry? Why would I be angry?" I questioned. "Well...I know that you're straight and the thought of another guy falling in love with you might gross you out," he replied. `If you only knew,' I thought to myself. "It doesn't gross me out," I said, "I'm actually kind of flattered, but I've got a question." "Sure..go ahead," Joey hesitantly said. "Are you bi?" He thought for a minute, "Yeah..I suppose you can say that. I guess I'm attracted to guys and girls." "Okay, just wondering." "Is that it?" he looked at me surprised. "Yeah...Is there something else I should ask?" "Yeah...I mean no...well I don't know," he said in confusion. I giggled a little, "First time telling this to another guy." "Well...yeah..." Joey blushed a little. "Don't worry about it. You're still the same person I know before you told. I'm not going to think different because you happen to be bi. Besides, I am honored that you shared something this personal with me." He smiled back at me and I saw his face fill up with energy again, "Thanks Mano. You know don't know how much that means to me." "I can guess," I smiled back at him, "So...who do you like now?" "Wha..what?" he stumbled for words, "What do you mean?" "Well you said that you were in love me so that means you like someone else now...who is he?" "Umm..Promise that you're not going to laugh or say anything?" he softly spoke. "Don't worry. I won't do any of those." "Okay..I trust you...Well, I really like Jay," Joey blushed a little again. "Jay? As in Lance's friend?" I asked. He nodded in response, "He's so fun to be around with and all. He makes me feel really happy." I giggled at his comment and he looked at me oddly, "Never knew you could get any happier." "Whatever," he snickered back. "Still...found a way to hook up with Jay yet?" "I dunno, I'm kinda scared to ask him. He's always hanging around Lance you know." "Oh I see...You haven't told any of the other guys yet right?" "Yeah...but why should they know. They don't have to." "But you basically go with them everyday," I started to give my reasons, "It wouldn't be fair to them or to you if you kept such a big secret from them." "I suppose...but what if they won't accept it and distance themselves from me?" he sounded concerned. "They won't," I assured Joey, "They are your best friends. I doubt they will turn their backs on you on this little thing." "You're right, but...." he trailed off. "You're not ready to tell them, right?" I finished the sentence. Joey nodded his head in agreement, "I'm scared to tell them right now." "Well take your time," I tried to calm him down, "Your secret will be safe with me. You have my word on that." "Thanks Mano," Joey beamed a smile, "Thanks for understanding." "Anytime Joey," I smiled back at him, "Now...where's the food. I'm starving," I joked and both of us laughed. Finally the food arrived and both of us had a good time. We talked about all sorts of stuff during the late lunch. I asked him questions about what kind of guy he likes and all of that stuff. He felt weird at first, but then loosened up considerably and chatted away. Joey was surprised how open I was to him being bi. Little does he know that I'm gay and in love with JC...or I hope I do. We talked and ate pretty much for a long time. Well a couple of hours is pretty long eating at a restaurant. It was almost 7 when I noticed the sky beginning to shift colors from blue to a hazy orange. Joey's phone quietly rang and he swiftly answered it. He was talking to Lance and informing Joey that he had to take Jay home. Joey ended the conversation and relayed the message. The bill came and Joey was nice enough to pay for it. I felt awkward not being able to pay for my own stuff, but I understood. We left the place talking all the way to his car. We talked about clothes, cars, guys and gals. I stayed away from conversation about the group because I didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable about his situation with them. The drive to Lance's house was a nice and pleasant one. I laughed, he laughed and both of us had a good time. We arrived at Lance's house and I said my good-byes to Joey. I exited the vehicle and walked towards the door. I knocked a couple of times and the door swung opened. Lance's mom opened the door and welcomed me in. I turned around and waved Joey good bye as well as she. I entered the house and did a little bit of light conversation, telling her what I did and where I went. I was quite happy to be talking to someone about my adventures without the hysteria associated with the guys. I was feeling a bit tired and decided to get a quick nap. I walked back to my designated room and plopped on the bed. Soon I was fast asleep. It wasn't but an hour later when I awoke. "Hey Mano," Lance whispered in my ear. I just moved a little. "Mano," he whispered again. I just tried to brush him aside. "Mano," Lance said, "If you don't wake up I'm gonna French ya." That got me up, "Alright, alright, I'm up," I groggily said. Lance giggled, "I see you don't want to be kiss by me then." I giggled as well, "Well it wouldn't hurt," I stared at Lance's green eyes. "Oh please," he exaggerated, "You have morning breath." "Me? It's not morning yet?" I complained. "Whatever. Besides, you look really cute sleeping there," I blushed and he giggled. "Enough of that," I said seriously, "What's up?" "I got a call from Chris earlier and he wants to do something with ya in about an hour." "Do you know what he's planning on at this late in the day?" "Nope," Lance got up off the bed, "He just said that he's picking you up so you'd better get ready." "Okay okay. I'll get ready." "Good. I'm gonna go and work with your schedule and ours. I think you are going to be in the studio with us tomorrow to discuss the video." "Oh okay. Not a problem," I said as I got out of bed. Lance walked out of the room and headed towards the dining area. I closed the door and looked through my suitcase for something to wear. I grabbed my long-sleeved shirt and a pair of slacks as well. I replaced the ones I was wearing and put on the new set. Went to the bathroom and did the usual things. Once out, I went down to the dining area and chatted a bit with Lance about tomorrow. He said he was gonna make a few phone calls and make sure that the times are right. We talked about 15 minutes or so when there was a knocking at the door. I got up and opened it to see Chris standing there with his jean shorts and shirt smiling at me. "Hey Mano," Chris smiled at me, "Ready to go?" "Yep, I'm ready," I smiled back at him, "Were are we off to?" "You'll see." "You know," I commented, "I hate it when you guys do that." "I know," giving me an evil smile. We hopped into JC's jeep and headed to where ever Chris was taking me. Chris drove for quite some time. During the drive, we talked about all the stuff that he's seen and done, not to mention all the girls he attempted to date. "Okay..enough with the secrets," I said, "Where are we really going?" "I'll tell ya," Chris gave in, "We're going to the beach." I laughed, "That's cool. Wasn't expecting it. Nice surprise." "I knew you'd like it." Chris continued to drive and we chatted a bit about things in general. When we finally arrived at the beach, it was so beautiful. A soft breeze stirred the air while the full moon was hanging just above the water's surface. This was a sight to behold. I hopped out of the car and scanned the area. Not a soul for miles in either direction. Chris led me into the sandy area of the beach and I sat on the soft sand. Chris scoured the area a bit for some dry drift wood and piled them near us. He took out a box of matches and tried to start a fire. I giggled to myself cause he couldn't get it going. I helped him out and finally a nice cozy campfire was blazing in front of us. "This is a really nice place you picked," I commented, "It's relaxing." "Thanks, I'd knew you like it." "It's not everyday that I get to have a campfire on the beach. Too bad we don't have marshmallows to munch on." "Oh. Hold on a second," Chris quickly got up and headed for the jeep, "Here ya go." He handed me a package of the large marshmallow, "This is so perfect," I replied. I looked around for some sticks and found two with the perfect length. I cleaned one of the ends as best as I could and put the tips in the fire. "Why are you doing that?" Chris asked as I burned the tips. "To kill off the bacteria on the edges. So we don't get sick." "Ah good idea," he understood, "Never would have thought of that." Each of us put a marshmallow on the end and put it near the fire. I can see the edges of it turn a brown color and made sure to not to burn it. I laughed when I saw Chris' get burned. I guess it was his first attempt to do one of these things before. I removed the burnt one and put in another one in it's place. I showed Chris how to roast one and he succeeded. "Can I ask you something?" I asked nibbling at my mallow. "Sure." "Why'd you bring me here? There's more to it than an open campfire. I know you better." The cracking of the flames was the only thing that sounded, "Can I ask you something personal?" "Sure. You know you can." Chris looked me dead in the eye, "Are you gay?" I was surprised at his question, "Does it matter if I'm gay or not?" "Yeah...it does," he looked down. "Oh I see then," I too looked down at the sand, "Yeah I'm gay..." Again the only thing that can be heard were the sound of the waves crashing against the shore and the cracking of the flames in front of us. I never knew that Chris didn't like gays...I guess I was right on my assumption. The next thing I knew, Chris leaned over and gave me a peck on the cheek. I snapped my head up and looked at him......