Date: Thu, 30 Mar 2000 23:43:59 -0800 From: Zeo Subject: NSync Love Pt17 "Hey Loyal Reader, this is Jay, from within the story. I begged my friend Mano to let me end up with Joey, and here I am a year later, and he finally did it :) but all kidding aside, I know this is the last installment of it, but I think he deserves real credit for what he's written. I remember when I first read Part 1, it totally blew my mind away. I was so nervous getting up the courage to just send him a message. I remember using his email to hunt him down on icq. and man am I glad I did. He has become one of my strongest and best friends in the world. He has touched my heart in so many ways. He never gives himself enough credit, yet he deserves so much. Man, I'm getting all emotional now, so I say, read the last part, and drop him a quick note to say "Congrats" Always and forever, I love you Manolito Jay ----------------------------------------------------------- "I'm so excited that the tour is gonna go through so many cities," Brian happily said in the car. "Haha," Kevin laughed, "All you want to do is go shopping." "Me?" Brian exaggerated, "You're the one who disappears during the day and when we leave, there's an extra suitcase floating around." "Last time it was yours," Kevin bellowed out. "Yeah yeah...I know you do it too." "Well it doesn't matter. We'll be visiting more cities this time around." "And prolly be stuck in a hotel or something," Brian sighed. "You're right, but there's one good thing about the tour," Kevin smiled. "Oh? What's that?" "We'll be in San Francisco for two days. Mano can give a tour of the city. Even better, we can go shopping." Brian faked a small laugh and smile. "That would be sweet." "Yeah...sweet," saying under his breath. They chatted for a bit before seeing the familiar residence and parked the car in the driveway. "I wonder how Mano is doing?" Kevin asked. "He's prolly sleeping or something," Brian replied not caring. "You're prolly right." Both of them stepped out of the car and headed toward the front door. "In any case, I should practice the new songs lined up as well as getting packed." "Good idea," Kevin agreed, "I should do the same thing, remember last time when we didn't pack till the last day." "Heh. Yuppers, we almost missed the concert. We'd better not do that again." Kevin unlocked the door and entered with Brain following closely behind. Kevin sniffed the air a little, "Smells good in here. I wonder what Mano was doing." Brian sniffed a little too, "Smells ok." "Hey Mano," Kevin called out, "Whatcha making?" There was no response. "Mano?" calling again and walking toward the kitchen area. As he walked toward the kitchen area, Kevin saw the vegetables diced in their bowls as well as beef laying on the table. The stove was on with a pot simmering on top. As he got closer, he noticed something was out of the ordinary. Upon closer inspection he was shocked to see my body sprawled along the floor with chopped onions, and vegetables strewn everywhere. He quickly knelt down and checked to see if I had hurt myself. "Mano?" Kevin whispered worriedly, "Mano...please...can you hear me?" "Uhhh..." I moaned out a little. "Please be all right?" Kevin hugged me. I slowly opened my eyes a little, "Kevin?" The look of relief washed over Kevin's face, "Thank God you're ok." "Mmmmm..." I groaned a little, "Where..." Kevin leaned over to pick me up and I wrapped my arms around his neck. He gently picked me up and carried me onto the sofa. "What happened?" I inquired. "You...Don't remember?" Kevin replied equally puzzled. "No...The last thing I remembered is that I was going to put vegetables in the pot and then everything blacked out." Kevin placed his hand on my forehead, "I think you've been moving about too much. You should get some sleep." A small frown formed on my face, "But I didn't get a chance to finish." "What were you doing?" Brian asked. "I was gonna make some chili." Kevin chuckled, "You always knew how to surprise me." "Yeah..well.." I sorta blushed, "It's the least I can do considering that you have to put up with me till I get home." "What do you mean `put up?'" Kevin asked puzzled, "You know that it's always nice to have you around. I don't get to see you much anymore." I looked down on the floor, "I know, but I didn't want to see you like this, being sick and all." His eyes lovingly looked into mine and kissed me on the forehead, "You need some more rest." I nodded and he helped me up. I half leaned and half stood as we walked down the hallway to the room. I managed to crawl into bed and drifted quickly into sleep. Kevin stood at the doorway for a few moments looking at me. Brian glared at Kevin from across the hallway and went to his room. The guys were lounging at a table in the mall talking and eating their lunch. The main focus of the chatter was the upcoming tour and all of the other bands that were going to open for them. Britney was there goofing off as usual. "This is great!" Britney cheered, "You guys are going to go all over the place." "Yup," Chris snickered, "More chicks to check out." "Hahaha," Joey bellowed, "You wish." "Na...I'll manage," smiling at Joey. "While you guys have all the fun," JC started, "I'll sleep most of the time." "Don't be such a wuss," Lance nudged, "At lease have a tour of a few cities while you're there." He kinda drooped down a little, "Depends if I'm not tired all the time." "You just work too much," Justin replied, "Need to relax sometimes." During the conversation everyone noticed a bit of uneasiness in the air. Whether everyone noticed it or not, no one wanted to bring it up. The night before, JC stormed out of the house without telling anyone where he had gone. The next morning, he was back in Justin's house watching TV. Of course Chris and Justin didn't want to make things worse so they acted like nothing had happened. Lance had his own reasons for being uneasy. It was getting more and more difficult to hide his feelings for JC. Every time he joked with JC, he would stop for a split second to see if anyone noticed. It was frustrating that he couldn't just be open to everyone. Secrets is what he hated the most. There was a bit of silence lingering around the table after the conversation of what to wear and the new fashions were exhausted. Looking around, Joey decided to resume the chatter. "So..." he started, "Any word from Mano yet?" As if he was stung by a bee, Chris flinched and looked at Joey as if he was crazy. "Nope," Lance replied, "Haven't heard from him yet." "I talked to him earlier in the morning," Justin said. Eyes turned toward him except JC's. "How's he doing?" Joey asked curiously. "He's doing real well," Justin replied, "Today's gonna be his last day here in Florida." "Really?" Chris echoed. Justin nodded, "Yeah...So he planned for all of us to go out and do some shopping." "Doh," Lance said, "Chris and I have to go to the studio and finish up the tracks." A small frown formed on Joey's face, "I have already made plans and it'll be hard to get out of." Justin sighed and then looked at JC, "How bout you, JC? Wanna do some shopping?" Not really looking at anything, "I'm a bit beat, I'll pass and get some more rest." Justin sighed again, "I'll go with ya Just," Britney beamed a smile at him. He looked up at her, "Cool," and flashed a smile back, "You'll love Mano...he's a nice guy." An almost indistinguishable frown formed on JC's face...but it was only for a brief moment. Everyone else had a small smile, thinking of the things they did with Mano. "Are you gonna be ok going out?" Kevin asked. "Yup. I'm not gonna do anything strenuous...just a bit of shopping." I replied. "Heh...Shopping is strenuous," Brian joked as he looked at Kevin with an evil grin. "Yeah yeah yeah," Kevin blushed a little. "Be back here at 7...the plane leaves at 9 and you don't want to be late." "Ok" I acknowledged, "I have everything packed already so it won't be a problem." "Good. So...do you need a ride before I go to the studio?" "Na...Justin is going to pick me up." "Ok...see you later," Kevin said and gave me a deep hug. Brian just walked out the front not sticking around for this mushy stuff. I smiled back and watched Kevin close the front door. It wasn't even 30 minutes when I heard the door knocking. I opened the door and Justin and Britney were there smiling. "You ready?" Justin asked. Britney smacked him on the back, "How rude!" Justin and I giggled. "Oh sorry bout that," Britney made a face. "Mano...she's my best friend, Britney. Britney Mano." She gave me a hug, "Hi how are you doing!" in a friendly voice. "I'm doing good. I hope I can buy something before I have to go home," I replied. "I'm sure there's something to buy," Britney reached out and pulled on my arm, semi dragging me to the car. "How come Just never told me about you?" she asked giving a look towards Justin. Kinda being stuck in a corner I shrugged my shoulders. "Hehe, I heard good things about you so I'm sure it's no biggie," beaming a smile at me. The drive to the mall was an interesting one. Justin was driving and was taking his time with it. I knew he was doing it on purpose, but I guess it was so that Britney could talk to me and get to know me better. Brintey asked me all sorts of questions ranging from where I lived, to what my plans are in the future to my favorite color. I was a bit quiet at first, but after a few questions and her cheery disposition, I was talking up a storm. I think Justin was getting annoyed with the chit-chat and took the short way to the mall. "Where should we start?" Britney went out of the car first, followed by Justin and I. "I dunno," I shrugged. "Hmm," Justin thought, "How about that new sport store that opened up." "Yeah," she agreed, "That's a good place to start. Then we can work our way down the place." "Uh...I don't think I have enough money on me." Justin and Britney laughed. "I told you he's cool," Justin remarked and smiled at me. "You're right," she agreed and I just quietly blushed. It's been almost 3 hours of non stop window shopping and Justin and I were getting hungry. Britney on the other hand was too energized going from store to store to stop. "Brit," Justin got her attention, "Mano and I will be here getting something to drink." "Okies," she replied, "I'll be in this store real quick to pick some earrings." Both of us sat down at the nearest table. "She's full of energy," I giggled. "Yes she is," Justin replied, "Wait till she sees a sale." I busted out laughing. We just sat and took a sip of our smoothies watching people walk back and forth. There weren't that many people in the mall, but enough to see that the place wasn't completely dead. A couple walked by holding hands and I watched them walk down the escalator. I looked away and just stared at the table. Justin saw what I was watching and was thinking of what to say. "I feel like that sometimes," Justin said taking a sip of his drink. I looked up with a puzzled expression. "Sometimes I wish I had someone there by my side. Someone to hold onto and care for," he gave a sigh. I looked back down and took a sip of the drink. "But I won't let that stop me from hanging out with my friends...talking with people...being with people I care for." I stopped sipping and looked up. Justin had a smile on his face. He had one of those faces that when he smiled, you couldn't help but smiling back. "Yeah..." I finally replied, "I guess you're right. I shouldn't be worried with such things." "I can't say that it isn't hard because I haven't gone through what you went through, but just know that I'll always be there for you if you need me," Justin gently put his hand on mine. I smiled back, "Thanks." He removed his hand and continued to sip at his drink. "So," I said, "Where do you think we'll end up next?" "I don't know, but prolly we'll hit every store before the day is through," he laughed. Justin looked over and quickly got my attention, "Look over there." I looked around, "Where?" He pointed, "Over there." It was a store sorta far away from the table, but I saw it, "Yeah...what about?" "Watch a minute." I watched for a bit and nothing was there. I was about to say something when I saw that familiar hair do and goatee. "Is that Joey?" I asked. Justin only nodded. `Joey said that he couldn't make it so why was he here?' Justin thought. As we watched Joey for a bit, someone else came out of the store right after. Jay came out of the store with a bag in hand. Both of them were talking, but of course we were too far away to know what they were saying. "Cool," I said, "Joey and Jay is here let's call them over." Justin put his hand on my arm. I looked at him puzzled and continued to watch. It was like in slow motion. The people that were walking by seemed to disappear, though there weren't that many to begin with. Jay looked and the sweater that was in his bag and smiled quite happily. Joey looked around fairly quickly and as quickly as he looked around, he gave Jay a kiss on the cheek. Jay jumped back and looked at Joey. They just stared at each other for a minute or two and Joey realized what he did and took a step back. He turned around and slowly started to walk away as if he regretted what he had just done. Jay was looking at him, still in a daze, quickly went after him and put his hand on his shoulder. Joey stopped walking and turned to face Jay. They looked into each other's eyes and slowly their mouths began to move. They were talking quite a bit and slowly walked away. Justin and I just stared at what just happened. "Do you think?" I started. "I think so," Justin finished, "But I'm not sure what's gonna happen." "Should we talk to Joey or Jay about what we saw?" "I don't think that would be a good idea," Justin responded, "A lot of things happened when Chris and I talked to JC about you. I paused for a minute. "I don't want that same thing happening again." "I see," were the only words I could get out. A few moments later, we saw Britney exit a store and she started to talk about all the things she saw. Justin and I laughed about how excited she was. But in the back of my mind, all I could really concentrate on was on Joey and Jay. I knew that Lance wasn't really into Jay, but this is something different. I let it go for now, but it will come up again soon. As we were leaving the mall, Justin's cell phone rang. After a few `Yup's and `Ok's, Justin hung up. "Who was that?" Britney inquired. "It was Chris and Lance," Justin replied. "Oh?" I was curious, "What'd they say?" "Chris said that they finished early and wanted to meet us at a park near here." "That's cool," Britney said, "And we have plenty of time before Mano has to go." I nodded, "Let's go." "The park is really close, I don't think we need to drive." "That's cool with me," I agreed, "I like to look at the scenery." "Okies," Britney agreed, "Can we put this stuff in the trunk before we headed out." Justin nodded and Britney put all the things she bought into the car. I was surprised that she didn't buy all that many things. It was probably just a set or two of clothes and they were practical ones at that. Not those showy shirts that is so uncomfortable that you have to take it off the minute you got inside. "I'm glad that I can see Lance and Chris before I leave today," I said while we walked down the street. "Yeah," Justin started, "I thought they were gonna miss out on you cause they have to do work." "You know them," Britney added, "They'll hurry up if something is real important that they can't miss." She turned towards me, "And you must be that important," beaming a smile at me. I blushed pretty hard, "Na." "Hehe," she giggled, "And modest too." Justin put his arm around my shoulder, "Just the way we like him," beaming a smile at me as well. I blushed even harder, "Shouldn't we hurry up to the park?" I failed to changed the subject. "Haha. Ok, ok," Justin was getting the hint, "Enough total embarrassment for one day." I sighed a little, "Good." "Don't get too smug," Britney said, "It would be enough from us, but not from the rest of the guys." "Uh oh." Justin and Britney laughed. There were few cars going to and from the mall. The sun was shining high in the clear blue sky. Birds were flying everywhere and it was one of those Kodak moments. Justin wasn't exaggerating that the park was near. In fact, it was right across the street. It seemed it took longer to get there because we were taking our time to get there. As we neared the park, I saw two people sitting at a table talking to each other. I knew at once that it was Lance and Chris. Lance turned towards us and waved. Britney waved back and we hurried our way to the table. "Hi guys," Britney said. "Hi Britney," Chris said, "Hiya Mano." "Hey Mano," Lance said as well, "How's it going?" "Doing really good," I replied, "We just finished shopping and I'm really glad that I can spend with you guys." "Nope," Chris said and I looked at him puzzled, "Lance and I are glad that we can spend time with you." Lance nodded, "Yup, after you leave, we may not be able to see you much anymore." "Oh?" I looked at Lance and then at Justin, "How so?" "We are starting up our new tour and we won't be able to do much," Chris said plainly. "I see," sounding a bit disappointed. "So, let's make the most of what we have," Lance smiled at me. I smiled back, "Yup, we'd better make the most of it." "What did you guys have in mind?" Justin asked. Lance and Chris thought about it for a while. After thinking about it for a bit, Chris kinda frowned, "I have no clue." "Yeah, me either," Lance added. Justin looked at them and at me and Britney, "It is a nice day out, how about a picnic?" "A picnic?" Britney questioned, "We don't have any sandwiches or stuff." "So?" Justin replied, "7 Eleven is just right around the corner and we can have a picnic right here." I smiled, "Actually, I wouldn't mind a picnic." "Then it's settled," Chris said, "After we buy some food, let's all chow down." "Cool," Lance agreed, "You guys get the food while Mano and I pick a spot." "Hey no fair," Brintey whined. "Come on," Justin tugged at her. I giggled at the sight. "We'll be back right quick," Chris said and I nodded. Lance and I walked a bit into the park and found a small grassy hill. "This looks good," I commented. Lance nodded his head. Both of us took a seat on the grass and looked out onto the street. There weren't that many cars about, but it didn't matter. The day was perfect and the weather was still warm. The wind blew a gentle breeze and the trees rustled gently. Neither of us said anything to each other for a bit. "So," both of us said in unison. We looked at each other and laughed. "You first," Lance said. I nodded, "So...how's everything going with you?" "Doing ok," he replied. "That's cool. How about you and Jay?" He didn't say anything at first, "Well...we parted ways." "Oh?" "I thought about what you said at my house," Lance looked up as a few cars rolled down the street, "A couple of days ago I decided to stop pretending." "So you told him and called it off?" "Heh," Lance snickered a bit, "Actually, he was thinking the same thing as well." "Really?" "Yeah, Jay said that he thought he would be happy cause he was finally had someone, but I guess it just didn't click for him either." "I see." "So we both agreed to still be friends and just leave it at that." "That's good that it still worked out." "Yeah...I guess," Lance sighed. I looked at his face. Though all I could see was the side of his face, I was still able to see the sadness in his eyes. "JC's free," I just blurted out. Lance turned and looked at me with a puzzled look. I looked at the grass, "JC's available if you're still looking for someone." "I don't understand what you're saying," Lance said. "You may or may not had suspicious or ideas, but JC's bi," I said looking back up at Lance. "What?" saying in disbelief, "You must joking right?" asking trying not to be upset. "I'm not trying to hurt you or anything, it's a fact that he's bi." It took a while for it to sink in, "H...how would you know?" I looked back at the grass and took a deep breath, "I...went out with him." Lance looked at me still not knowing what I was saying, "Chris and Joey went out with..." "No you don't get it...I dated JC," spelling it out to him. He sat there staring at me dumbfounded. I nodded my head, "Yeah...I dated him." After regaining his senses, "I see...Um...this might sound rude or something, but how far did you get?" I kinda smiled, "A kiss..." "A kiss?" echoing in disbelief, "Is that it?" "Yeah...that was it." "And that's how far you guys went?" "Yeah...I was stupid..." "Huh? What happened?" "I..." I was struggling for the words, "I pushed him too much...I made him run away..." Only the wind that passed between us made any type of noise. "I was stupid...in a hurry and I screwed everything up." "Why...why don't you get back with him?" asking concerned. "No. I'd only make things worse. It was my selfishness and stupidity that messed things up. I don't want JC to go through everything again." "I see." I looked at Lance seriously, "But you...you could prolly make it work." "What? Me?" "Yeah. You've known him a lot longer than I have and you're probably the only person that he would talk to about anything." Lance thought about it for a minute, "No no no...I'll never work. I'll just screw things up like I always do." "Not with JC," I replied confidently, "I know how much you love him. It will work." He looked at me apprehensively, "Are you sure?" "Right now he needs someone by his side. And you're the one." Still hesitant, "I don't know." "Don't worry about that," putting a hand on his shoulder, "Don't rush like I did. You have a lot of time so it'll be gradual." "Well..I...I'll think about it." "I guess that's better than saying no," I smiled a bit. "Heh. A lot of things to take in at once." "Yeah...I know that feeling." After a few more minutes of chatting, we saw the guys walking up the street carrying a few plastic bags. They saw us and went to the small hill Lance and I were sitting. Britney pulled out a plastic mat and spread it out across the grass. It was large enough to put all the sandwiches, drinks and plate on. Everyone grabbed a sandwich while I snacked on fruit. Brintey wondered why I wasn't eating like everyone else and Justin explained that I was a vegetarian. It wasn't all bad, Justin knew and pulled out a veggie sandwich he got before they left the store. The rest of the day was so relaxing. People were walking on the sidewalks and we joked about how they were dressed. The sky shifted from a bright blue to a bright orange. About 30 minutes before I had to go back to Kevin's house, there was a silence in the air. It wasn't awkward or anything, it was one of those moments where everyone thought about all the things that happened. I remember the day when all 5 of them showed up at my hotel to take me out and do stuff. I also remembered the times when all of us were hanging out without a care in the world. But the event that is in my mind the most is when I first looked into JC's crystal blue eyes. That is something I can never forget. As the old saying goes, time waits for no one, and soon enough it was time for me to go. Chris and Lance went to their cars and said that they'll be at the airport to send me off. Heh, I guess they really wanted me out of their hair. Justin and Britney were going to be there as well. Justin also said that he'll try to call JC and Joey to see if they can make it as well. "So how was your day?" Kevin ask as I walked in the door. "It's the best yet," I beamed a smile at him as he hugged me. "So glad to hear it. I guess it's time for you to get back home." "Yeah...I guess," I sighed. Kevin put his hand on my shoulder, "Don't worry, you can always call me," he pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket. I smiled, "You'd better have your cell on or else you'll have hell to pay." He laughed, "Don't worry about it. It'll always be on for you." "Thanks." My bags were already in the living room ready for me to pick it up. I didn't really bring that much considering how long I was staying. I only brought my backpack and 1 other carry-on luggage. Never did like to carry a lot of things when traveling. That was just me I suppose. Slowly the time came and I was off to the airport. Kevin and I talked a bit during the drive, but it wasn't really anything to mention. Brian kept quiet as usual. I really wanted to tell him that there was nothing between us, but I suppose he wouldn't believe me anyway. The light was gone from the sky and the stars were out. It was just a beautiful night, really breathtaking. Just as I last remembered the airport, but this time it was a bit busier. Probably more business people were flying, who knows. Kevin and I walked to the proper gate there were the guys waiting for me. I looked at everyone and there was something missing in the picture, "Where's JC?" I realized who was missing. Everyone turned and looked at everyone else and shrugged, "We don't know." "I called him up and he said that he was going to be here," Justin explained. Honestly my heart sank, but I understood, "Well...guess it's time for me to say good-bye." I walked over and hugged Kevin first, "It's really good to have seen you again." "And you too," he hugged me back harder. I broke away from the hug, "Tell Mom that I said 'Hi' and that I love her." Kevin smiled, "Sure will." Brian perked up, "Mom?" he whispered. I looked at Lance and gave him a hug, "Take care now." "I will. Don't worry about me." "Remember what I said," I pointed at him. He laughed, "I won't forget...I promise." I smiled, "Good." Before even turning around, Joey gave me a bear hug from behind. Everyone laughed at the sight. "I'm gonna miss you too," I said after he let me go. "Don't crash into anything," he joked. "Heh...I'll try not to break anything." I turned to Chris and he extended out his hand. We shook hands and he pulled me into a hug, "Hope everything goes good for you." "We'll see," I replied. As I pulled away from his hug I noticed someone standing behind him. I knew instantly who he was. I pulled away and walked past Chris. Everyone looked at who I was walking to. It was him, standing next to a column near a plant. Trying to hide himself from everyone else, but not really. I slowly walked up and stopped a bit from him. It was really awkward just standing there looking at the ground. I couldn't get my voice to say anything. "Well," I finally say, "Guess this is good-bye." "Yeah," JC replied, "Guess this is it." No more words needed to be spoken, we looked up at each other's eyes and slowly drew to an embrace. It wasn't as jolting as with the other guys, JC's hug was very soft and gentle. I knew it would never work out between us. I pulled away a bit. "I'm sor..." JC started to say. "No don't be," I cut him off, "It was my fault." I whispered in his ear, "And besides...there's already someone here that loves you even more than I do." JC looked at me puzzled. I slightly turned my head to catch Lance out of the corner of my eye. JC looked quickly at him and then back at me. I nodded with a smile. Then I broke away and returned with the rest of the guys. Justin was the last one to say good-bye. "It's been real fun having you around," he said kind of shyly. "I've had the time of my life," I replied with a smile. Another awkward moment came, though I dunno why. "Good luck with the tour and with everything," I said to break the silence. "Thanks. Good luck to you as well." Step in and gave Justin a hug. It was strange of him to step back slightly, but not enough for anyone to notice except me. He didn't hug me very hard. It was as if he didn't want to say good-bye. I slowly broke away from the hug and looked at Justin in the eyes. Then it hit me. "Could it be you..." I quietly whispered. Justin blushed and looked back down. I felt so horrible. All the things that Justin did for me and I was completely oblivious to everything that he was doing. "I'm so sorry...How could have I been so blind," I regretfully whispered. He placed his hand on my shoulder and slowly shook his head no. I sighed, "Now I really wish I wasn't going." "No...maybe it is for the better. After all the things you've went through, I don't want to make more of a mess." Those were the words I told Lance being repeated back to me. The one person who was there for me all the time was the one I missed and took for granted. I felt ashamed, guilty, lonely, stupid all at once. Justin looked into my eyes again, "Maybe one day..." I made a small smile, "You kissed me...didn't you," I whispered. Justin just smiled and I smiled with him. After everything was said and done, I boarded the plane once again. But this time it would be my last time. Looking through the window, all I could see was the airport. Then it slowly shrunk to a little building and then finally into a dot. Once over the clouds, everything disappeared. ------------------------------ This is the last part of the story...and it's for real this time. Took a long time to write this last one cause I couldn't figure out how to finish it. Much love to James, Josh, and JT for everything. I'd also like to thank Jay, Kevin and Scoop for a lot of things as well. Nathan...where the heck are ya =P Take care. 50728719