Date: Mon, 20 Dec 1999 16:47:43 -0800 (PST)
From: tumbler99@yahoo.com
Subject: "'N SYNC Savior - Part 18"

Note: This is a complete work of fiction.  I am not implying that any
character within this story is gay or bisexual.  This is just my fantasy,
so let me have it!!!  I'm planning on making this a continuing plot, with
twists and turns and everything else thrown in.  So please, don't be afraid
to send any comments my way.  Since I've never been to New York I may need
a little help with some scenery and stuff.  Please e-mail me at
tumbler99@yahoo.com


'N SYNC Savior

Chapter Eighteen

	Chris was moving in to help, but there was nothing else to do.
Joey grabbed Justin's arm and they started running back to the blanket as
Lance pulled out his cell to call the limo.  After hanging up he looked
over at me and heard JC whisper, "please, don't do this again Matt.  I need
you here with me.  Please.  Please.  Please."  He reached out his arm and
stroked JC's shoulder as more tears streamed down his face.
	"I can't lose him, Lance.  I just can't."
	"I know buddy, I know.  And you won't.  All he did was faint; he'll
be okay in an hour or so."
	"But I couldn't move.  I couldn't move."  His voice dropped into a
whisper as they continued walking, each thinking their own thoughts,
wondering what was going to happen next.

	We quickly made our way back to the hotel as the guys sat quietly.
Justin watched JC as he stroked my hair and whispered in my ear.  Lance sat
quietly with his eyes closed as Joey looked anxiously out the window.  As
we pulled back up to the hotel, Justin moaned out loud.
	"Not again...." he whispered.
	"People have already seen Justin.  It doesn't make a difference
anymore."  Everyone looked up at Lance as he spoke with his eyes closed.
"There were plenty of people at the park and I think I even saw a camera
appear as we were leaving.  If we walk in there with Matt, it won't change
a thing.  People are going to find out about it sooner or later."  He heard
Chris speak up quietly.
	"He's right guys.  We'll just have JC carry him like he did out of
the park.  Our friend fainted and we're taking him back to the hotel.  No
big deal, right?"  The question was there, but no one bothered to answer.

	Adam sat on the couch as he waited for me to come to the phone.
His palms were sweating and his heart was throbbing in his chest.  He knew
he shouldn't have left.  He knew he shouldn't have followed his dream.  He
should have known something like this would have happened.
	"But you couldn't have known, so quit beating yourself up.  How
were you to know that Matt would see him again?  You couldn't have known
that.  So just shut up and wait until he gets on the phone."

	The doors were opened as the screams filled their ears.  Somehow
the girls must have known they were coming back.  The crowd was larger than
it had been when they left and JC wasn't sure he was going to be able to
get through.  He held me tighter as he started walking briskly through the
crowd.  Chris and Joey led the way, keeping the girls away as much as they
could.  The security guards were doing a good job of helping, but Lance
started to get nervous as he felt a bout of claustrophobia overwhelm him.
	"We're not going to get out of this one.  Doug is going to be so
pissed off."
	The girls began clawing at Justin and Lance cried out.  He normally
wouldn't have done that, but the way the day was going, he couldn't hold it
in.  He reached for Justin's shoulder as anger overwhelmed him.  The fans
were really beginning to sicken him.  First, there was the awful mob that I
had experienced the previous night.  And now, once again, they weren't
letting us get through.  No matter how much money they spent on the group's
CD's and posters, it would never make up for the lack of privacy that came
with the job.  As much as it sickened him, he knew the end was coming soon.
Much sooner than anyone would think.

	"Hello," I whispered into the phone.  I was still drowsy and sleepy
from the afternoon and I wasn't able to think straight.
	"Oh my God, it's really you.  I was watching the news and I heard
what happened.  And then I called as soon as I could and I talked to Justin
and I was so scared and I couldn't believe...."
	"Adam.  Shut up.  Just take a breath and chill out."  I smiled as I
thought of what Adam probably looked like down there in Florida.  I could
picture his furrowed brow and pursed lips.  He was probably shaking like a
leaf as he sat there and listened to me.  "It was bad....I won't lie about
that.  But it's over.  I think I was just a little overwhelmed because I
wasn't expecting to see him.  Who would have guessed that he would have
been there, you know?"
	"But Matt, you fainted.  It's not good that you let it affect you
that much.  I think it means that it's affecting you more than you
realize."
	"Adam, I love you for all you've done, but trust me, it was just
the shock.  It wasn't anything like this morning, so I know...."
	"What do you mean this morning?" he interrupted.  "No one's
mentioned anything about this morning."
	I took in a quick breath as I planned what to tell him.  "Um, well,
lets see.  After you left, we were leaving the airport and I realized that
I was at the same exit.  Um....and we kind of relived the afternoon."
	"You what?  I can't believe JC let you do that.  Matt, I can't
believe...."
	"Adam, please just calm down.  We just followed the same path.
Believe it or not I actually remembered the mistakes that I made the first
time and I got lost in exactly the same way."  I let out a laugh as I tried
to ease the situation.  "But the crazy part was when we went into the
alley."
	"You didn't," he whispered.
	"Yeah, umm....actually we did.  It was really unusual, because I
actually went through the rape again.  I could see him, Adam.  I could feel
him and I could smell him and I hated it.  I almost hated it more than the
first time."  I took a breath to control my emotions.  "But Josh was there.
Josh was there for me and he helped me through it."
	"Are you all right, Matt?  That's all I need to know.  That's the
most important thing right now."
	I could sense his sincerity and I loved him for it.  "I am.  I
fainted this morning, and I fainted when I saw Mark, but I'm all right.  We
came straight to the hotel and I've been sleeping through most of the
evening.  God," I paused, "I don't even know what time it is."
	"It's 10:05 down here.  It took me awhile to get a hold of Justin's
phone."  I could hear a smile behind his voice and it brought one to my
face also.
	"Well, I've been sleeping since it happened then.  We got into the
hotel somehow.  I think Josh said we just went through the lobby and tried
to do it as fast as possible.  Oh my....What about Doug?  I just know that
he's going to be really angry at me."
	"Don't you worry about that.  From everything you've told me, you
didn't do anything wrong.  If you brought some publicity to the guys, then
he may be a little angry.  But knowing Lance, he'll think of some way to
make it good publicity.  You didn't ruin anything; I guarantee it."
	"Thanks Adam.  You don't know how much this means to me.  Just a
week ago I was sitting in my room, listening to their CD, and now....here I
am...."
	"I know.  It's crazy, isn't it?"
	"Yeah.  I almost feel like I'm in a whirlwind.  But at the same
time, it's almost like I'm in a time warp of some sort.  Everything's
crazy, but everything's going pretty slow too.  Maybe it's because I'm so
happy I don't want things to end.  But I know they will."  I whispered the
last part and I don't know if Adam heard me.
	"Matt, that's life.  When things in your life change, it always
feels crazy.  But, it IS your life now, so get used to it."
	"But don't you see?  I don't think you're right - I don't think
this is my life.  I'm just a 17 year old guy from Kansas.  What right do I
have to be hanging around 'N Sync and dating Josh?  That's not my life.  My
life is mathematics and friends and movies and e-mail and normal things.
Not concerts with songs sung for me and afternoon fainting spells in the
park."

	JC was pacing Lance's room while I was on the phone.  He was
nervous and excited and scared and happy.  But the one thing that was
shining brighter than all the others was the fact that he was in love.  If
he even had any questions before today, they had been answered.  The
thought of losing me scared him to death.  And the fact that he couldn't
move when I was in trouble scared him even more.  "What would have happened
if Lance wouldn't have been there?  What would have happened if his head
would have hit the ground?  What would have happened...."
	"Don't think about things like that, JC."  Lance had walked in the
room and immediately knew what was going on.  "Everything turned out all
right, so lets leave it at that.  You got scared and you couldn't move.  So
what."
	"No, Lance.  I'm sick of you saying that.  I couldn't move when my
boyfriend was in trouble.  That IS a big deal and I'm afraid I can't just
leave it alone like you can.  What happens the next time?  Huh?  What
happens the next time?"
	The pure emotion from his voice scared Lance.  He backed away a
little and stood by the dresser.  "I don't know, JC.  I didn't realize it
was scaring you this much."  Silence filled the room as they stared at each
other.  "But don't you see?  It doesn't say anything about you.  It doesn't
mean you're weak, or that you don't love him, or that you wouldn't do
anything for him.  It just means that your reaction time was a little slow
and you were completely taken off-guard.  A lot of people would have done
the same thing in your situation."
	"But you didn't," he whispered.  "You were the one who caught him."
	"And I grew up on a farm with a lot of horses.  A lot of horses
that got wild and threw us off of them.  I got really good at moving away
fast and moving in even faster if I needed to catch someone."  A smile
crept up on his face as he continued.  "And anyway, we all know I'm faster
than you!!"
	"Lance, it's not funny."  JC was defeated.  The life was obviously
gone from his eyes and Lance knew he needed to sleep.
	"You're right.  But do you want to make it up to him?  Do you want
to prove that you'll do anything for him?"
	His eyes lit up as he moved in closer.  "Of course, Lance.  Of
course I want to."
	"Well....then go to him.  Go to him right now and let him know how
you're feeling.  And take him to bed and hold him all night.  Show him that
you're there for him, that you love him, that you'll always be there for
him.  He'll understand everything; I know he will."  JC slowly looked away
from Lance as he thought through the moment.  And without another word he
slid across the room and out the door.
	With a smile on his face, Lance stripped out of his clothes and
laid down on the bed.  Reaching for the alarm, he suddenly remembered they
were on vacation.  He made sure the button was in the "off" position as he
reached for the lights.  The room darkened as his eyes closed.

	JC opened the door to my room quietly as he slowly slipped in.
"What right do I have to be hanging around 'N Sync and dating Josh?  That's
not my life.  My life is mathematics and friends and movies and e-mail and
normal things.  Not concerts with songs sung for me and afternoon fainting
spells in the park."
	He stood by the wall as the breath was pulled from his lungs.  "Oh
my God.  What did he just say?"  The world began to spin as he grew dizzy.
"He doesn't love me anymore.  He's just been using me this whole time."

	I turned around on the bed and saw JC standing by the wall.  I
could see the pained expression on his face and realized he had heard some
of my conversation.  I didn't know how much, but it didn't matter.
	"Adam, listen, I appreciate you checking up on me, but Josh is here
right now.  I'm really tired and I need to get some more sleep."
	"I understand Matt.  Let him know I said hi."
	"Will do, buddy.  And seriously, thanks for all you did for me.
We'll talk more, probably tomorrow.  Someone here has your number, don't
they?"
	"Yeah, don't worry about it.  Lance will get you set up."
	I let out a laugh, "yeah, I'm sure he will.  Goodnight, Adam.
Don't worry too much."
	"You have a goodnight too.  But I will worry, and there's nothing
you can do about it."
	"Don't I know that!!"

	Justin was staring at the ceiling as he saw the shadows meshing on
the walls.  His mind was reeling and he wasn't sure what exactly had
happened today.  The morning had just been awful, saying good bye to Adam
and watching me relive the rape.  And then, just when he was starting to
have a good time, the guys had to go and make that stupid comment.  And of
course, he had to blow it out of proportion.  "But, thanks to Matt, you
figured it out.  Everything's a lot better now, isn't it."  He had to agree
with himself as he felt his eyes close.  Sleep was slowly taking over as he
continued to think.  "But I can't believe that was Mark.  I can't believe
we actually saw him while we were there."  His thoughts were slowing as he
drifted farther to sleep.  "But I can definitely see why Matt was attracted
to him.  He was a hot guy...."
	And sleep took over.

	"Josh?  Will you come sit by me?"  He slowly nodded, but I could
see the pain shadow his face.  I knew he had heard the last part of my
conversation at least, and I knew he would have questions.
	"Now, I don't want you to misunderstand me, and I don't want to
misunderstand you, so...."
	"Matt, don't you see?  You don't have to explain yourself.  I mean,
what right do I have to ask questions about...."
	"Josh, hush my love.  Please, just listen to me."  My finger was on
his lips as I felt his head fall.  "Josh, I really do love you.  And if you
love me, even just a little bit, then you have every right to know exactly
how I'm feeling.  You have every right to ask me questions."
	"But...."
	"But nothing.  Because I love you, I want you to understand me.  I
want to understand you too.  Now I know you heard my conversation.  I need
you to realize that I didn't mean it the way you heard it.  I'm so glad I'm
here; I'm thrilled actually.  But it isn't my life.  Stuff like this
doesn't happen to me."
	"Why not?  Why can't you just accept that sometimes great things
happen to you?  Sometimes things happen that you don't think should - but
they do"
	"Because it's not my life.  You don't realize how boring I am
compared to you.  I haven't done nearly as much as you have."
	"Oh boy, I can see exactly where this conversation is going."  He
started to laugh as he leaned in for a kiss.  "And I'm going to stop it
right now."  We kissed again before he continued.  "But before I do, I want
you to know that you're wrong, and I'm right.  And I'm going to prove it
tomorrow morning after we wake up."
	Pulling me in closer, he rolled over on his back.  I was once again
on top of him as we started making out.  I felt his hair in my hands as his
tongue slipped into my mouth.  His body felt wonderful under mine, but I
knew we weren't done talking yet.
	"Josh, please...."
	"No, I understand what you meant now.  I really do.  Now please,
lets just go to sleep and hold each other.  I want to show you how much I
love you.  I want to show you that I'm going to be there for you forever,
no matter what happens."  He kissed me once again.  "But right now I just
want to sleep with you in my arms.  Please?"
	He gave me his puppy dog eyes as I let out a chuckle.  "You sure
know how to get me to do whatever you want, don't you?"
	"I would hope so," he smiled.
	"Fine.  As long as you know that I love you just as much as you
love me.  And I don't want to leave yet.  Honestly, I don't want to leave
ever."
	"So don't.  Just stay with me forever."
	"And how will that work, exactly?"  I asked quietly, already
drifting off.
	"Well, we can start by...."
	I silenced him with a kiss as I stroked his chest.  "Just lie with
me Josh.  Show me how much you love me, please?  We can talk about
everything in the morning."
	"Wow, that's such a great idea.  I can't believe you thought of
that.  All by yourself even."
	"Oh hush!!"
	His arm was wrapped around my shoulder as I nuzzled his neck.  His
fingers slowly trailed up and down my arm as he hummed in my ear.  The
darkness enveloped us as I felt myself drift away.

	The alarm went off at 6:30 as Lance shot up in his bed.  "What?
How did that thing get set?"  He reached over and turned it off as he sunk
back under the covers.  He was grumbling as he tried to find that perfect
spot again.  The rustling that his body made covered up the footsteps that
were approaching his bed.  His eyes were closed as he tried to fall back
asleep, so he didn't see the young man stare at him.
	Mark stuck his hand in his pocket as he rearranged himself.  He was
staring at the young blond in the bed and he was starting to get excited.
Ever since this afternoon in the park, he couldn't get the man's body out
of his mind.  And the way he had yelled....
	"Oh god, that was such a turn-on.  But no one yells at me without
some repercussions."
	He slowly slipped off his shirt as the young man finished moving
around.  Quickly slipping out of his jeans he walked around to the side of
the bed.  He knew he would have to start this right.  If Lance got one yell
out, then it was all over.  He had to make sure he kept this hot one quiet.
	He sank into bed quietly as he moved closer to Lance.  He moved his
body around to spoon him as he slowly reached his hand around for the
mouth.  He felt the anger well up in his body as he started to breath
harder.  He clamped down over Lance's lips as he moved on top of him.
Lance's eyes shot open as he tried to let out a scream.  Mark sneered as he
moved his face in closer.
	"You humiliated me in front of my girlfriend and you made me look
like an idiot.  And your hot little body has made me very excited.  So now
you're going to get what you've been wanting for years.  You're going to
get the one thing that you've been scared of getting forever.  And I'm
going to give it to you."

	I started thrashing in the early morning as a dream took over.  I
don't remember exactly what was happening, but I do know that Mark was in
it.  But he wasn't attacking me anymore.  I had JC and everything was all
right.  But there was someone, someone new this time.  I started moaning in
my sleep as I slipped out of JC's arms.

	Mark reached down with one hand and removed Lance's boxers.  He
could feel the warm flesh under his hand and he got even more excited.  He
felt the anger well up as he lifted up Lance's legs.  He pushed his head
close to the tight hole as he let out a laugh.  "Oh yeah, you're ready for
this.  You've been dying for someone just like me to take you and make you
a man."
	He pushed in hard as Lance grabbed his arm and pulled it away
roughly.  He let out a scream as he started crying out.

	The scream ripped through the walls and sank right into my ears.
My eyes opened quickly as I felt my heart quicken.  I jumped out of bed as
JC looked around wildly.
	"What's going on Matt?  Where are you going?"  He was groggy and
was mumbling his words.
	"I heard something.  I think it was Lance."  I ran out the door and
down the hall, trying to remember which one was his.
	I reached for a knob and turned it, seeing a thrashing body on a
bed.  I quickly sprinted to the side of the bed and saw Lance's face
twisted in pain.  I reached for his shoulder as I tried to shake him awake.
I jumped up on the bed and lifted him up to face me.  His eyes shot open as
he let out another scream.

	Justin threw open his door as he saw me run down the hall.  I was
only wearing my boxers and for a second, his mind started drifting.  But
then he realized something was wrong.  He started following me as JC met
him in the hall.
	"What the hell is going on, JC?  I'm getting worried about things
all of a sudden."
	"I don't know, Curly.  I honestly don't know."

	"Oh my God, Matt.  He was here.  I could feel him holding onto me
and forcing himself on me.  I could feel him...."  The sobbing took over as
I pulled him in for a hug.  I stroked his back as my own shoulder became
soaked.  I could hear Justin and JC at the door, moving in quietly.
	"Lance, just calm down.  It's all right.  It's over now, whatever
it was.  Please, just calm down."
	The sobbing continued for a few minutes, but I could tell he was
starting to breath a little slower.  I felt his head gain more weight as he
pressed into me harder.  And suddenly there was nothing.  I felt him stop
as he drifted off to sleep.  I slowly laid him back down as I turned to
look at Justin.
	"I think he had a bad dream.  But I'm not sure.  He said something
about Mark in here....with him....in that way.  But there's only one way to
make sure it was a dream and not real.  And I'm not sure if I'm the one who
should do it."
	"What do you mean, Matt?" JC asked.
	"Someone needs to check him....down there....and see if he's been
touched."  I looked over at them in all seriousness, so they would know I
wasn't joking.  JC paled considerably, but Justin stepped forward calmly.
	"I can do it.  I've seen him in the shower anyway, so what
difference will it make?"  He tried to laugh, but it came out very feeble.
	I crawled off the bed and made my way over to JC, who immediately
enveloped me in his arms.  We both turn our backs to the bed, to give Lance
the privacy he deserved.  Justin slowly sat next to his friend and then
gently rolled him onto his side.  Grabbing hold of the boxers, he slowly
slid them down on Lance's thighs.  Peering quickly, he saw firm, white butt
that had a thin layer of blond hairs covering it.  There was not a bruise
in sight, nor any blood dripping from a tear.  He let out the breath he was
holding as he stared a little longer.  I finally broke his concentration
when I called out to him.
	"Justin?  Is he...."
	"Oh, he's fine.  It was just a dream after all."  He quickly pulled
up Lance's boxers and as he moved off the bed, slipped the comforter up to
his neck.  Lance made a little sound as he reached for his exiting friend.
Justin sat back down and rubbed Lance's back as he slowly stopped moving
around.  He looked up at us with a frown on his face and fear in his eyes.
	"I'm sure he'll be all right, but I'm worried guys.  Why would
Lance have a dream with Mark in it?  He wasn't the one...."
	"Justin, just stop right there."  JC interrupted, trying to save my
feelings.  I rubbed his back lovingly, realizing exactly what he had done.
But how was I supposed to let him know that he didn't need to protect me
from everything?  "We all saw Mark today.  And if Lance is feeling at all
emotional about what's been happening, which we all know he is, then it's
not surprising he had a dream about it."  He sat down on the side of the
bed and let out a sigh.  "We'll just wait until tomorrow when he wakes up,
okay?"  He looked at both of us with a question in his eye, "okay?"
	I just nodded as I leaned into him.  Justin moved around on the bed
to get comfortable, making sure he kept body contact with Lance.  JC and I
curled up together as our eyes closed.
	And sleep took over once again.

To be continued....