A YEAR LATER

Forgiveness was all I was after which I couldn't accomplish in the past year , the only man I'd ever loved was stone hearted , he refused to forgive me my one mistake , a mistake I made in a rush hour , Chris , how could you be so cruel and deny us the happiness we deserve , my story began when I was 16 , when I met that deadly handsome Norwayan vision ( Chris ) , we made a band among with 2 other guys , Mark and Paul , me and Paul had became friends from day one , for Mark , me and him were cool with each others , but not very close But for Chris , I fell for him from the first moment , it was like we were soul mates , one divided in two , he did the same for me but we were too shy to tell each others , then one day we were sleeping together in the same room , he were drunk , then he confessed me his love , I did too mine and we ended up making love .

Next day he just forgot everything about the night of bliss we had , he was in love with me I knew but he was too much shy and scared that even my attempts to tell him my love ended up in a failure , then he had an affair with a handsome and famous guy , I was jealous but I couldn't do anything about it , my hands were chained , so I just stayed still waiting , then he came one night to me telling me he loves me so I put him in a choice , he chose Jeff to my surprise , I was broken hearted , in pain , desperate , when only one man stood by me , gave me love , compassion , this man was Justin , he was too good to be true , at this point I thought that love isn't as important as having someone to wake up with in the morning , so I went at it and we had our first date , we went to Chris wedding , it was very harsh on me but I bearded it and when I thought I was over him , he dumped his man and expected me to leave mine too just to make it with him , and I admit I made a mistake turning him down , but at that time it felt right .

But instead of working it out he dwelled in it  , so suddenly it was all my fault , everything now is my mistake , oh god this previous year was unbearable , he was either avoiding me or making me feel guilty , I tried to apologize to him I tried to make it up with him , but he always refuses me , he shut me out , didn't wanna listen to my reasons , but I was determinant to win my man back so one day I had an idea that I thought it could help , I chose a song , a famous one for Shania Twain that I used to love too much , went to the studio secretly , got it recorded and toke the cd and put it among his cds with a dedication written on the cover of the cd saying " Christian , my love , the only man I'd ever loved , I tried and tried , didn't seem to make it with you so I made this one for you , I wish you could forgive my one mistake that I'll regret for the rest of my life with love , Ben "

" I'm sorry for everything I said , and for anything I didn't have the chance to say , when things get so complicated , I stumble at the best muddle through , I wish that our lives could be simple , I don't want the world , only you , oh I wish I could tell you this face to face , but there's never the time never the place , oh I hope that letter will have to do , I love you "

I used Mark for the piano and I recorded  the song , I waited till he could have the time to get it , listen to it , I waited for a day or something then went to his room in the hotel we were in this time , before I knocked on the door I found my cd thrown in the garbage , I went furious so I didn't enter and I took off  , I went to the nearest bar which was a gay bar , I knew it was a mistake , I'm now a well known guy and I should never do such a stupid and ridiculous stuff but I went there anyway .

Next morning I woke up with a guy next to me in bed , I went crazy like" oh my god  who the fuck are you ? " I asked furiously , " oh  Ben , hon , I'm Steve , you picked me up from the bar yesterday , remember , I did the dirty dancin on the stage , you and me had sex the whole night long , Beny are you ok ? " he said to my surprise.

And the worse came next , a minute later Steve was in my bathroom getting dress , then the door knocked and when I went to answer it , I found a smiling Chris  on my door , " morning champ , where were you last night " he said as leaning on me giving me a kiss on my forehead leaving me clue less about why that change while he's thrown my cd last night , so I asked him , " Chris  , you'd thrown my cd in the garbage so what does that have to say to me , that you didn't care for me the way i cared for you , so why the heck have you came to me chillin this morning " I said

" what the heck are you talking about ? , I haven't thrown your cd in the garbage , the only thing I'd thrown yesterday was Michael Jackson's cd , which is a piece of shit that had to be thrown in the garbage , so where did you got that idea from " Chris said

" huh ??!! , you didn't throw it away ? " I asked felling how stupid I was

" yeah Ben , it was the most romantic thing that ever happened to me , Ben , I love you , you're my man , I want to you to be my husband , will you ? " he asked me

" oh Chris , I'll love to ,  you're my only dream came true " I said and kissed him on his lips but he broke the kiss as he saw Steve coming out from the shower naked , " oh no , no , gosh , not again , not anymore , no Ben , you didn't do it again , but I had to knew you'll do it again , anyway thank you for curing me from my ridiculous obsession with love " he said as he ran away leaving me alone with Steve , Oh my god , what am I to do now , he'll never knew that it was nothing , he'll always think I'd cheated on him , oh god , I'm lost .

TO BE CONTINUED
Wish you guys like that new look of my story , I think it needed this change , anyway , I think there'll be one or two more chapters before I end it permanently , thanx 4 all you guys that mailed me , I'll love to receive more Emails from you guys .