Date: Mon, 26 Jun 2000 01:51:52 EDT From: SaetanSaDiablo@aol.com Subject: One More Try: 5 and 6 Okay, I know it's been awhile since my last posting. That's because I've been busy trying to get myself ready for a trip I'm taking. I'm going to write a little bit more ahead in the following chapters so that as soon as I come back from Tampa, I'll just have to post. Okay? Uhm, you know the drill: Don't read this if you're under 18. All material herein is from the author's mind. Any resemblance to anyone alive or dead is purely coincidental. (Especially those cute guys who dance and stuff) I want to thank KB! Thanks dude, you've been the greatest. You're one of the few people who put up with me. ;) Thanks! Lauren! I love you sis! ;) You know I do. Terrie, I love ya chick! Thanks for being there. You too, Jenn! Thanks! I appreciate everything you've done for me. Adrian, I'm there for ya man. I always will be. Barbara and Jenn, can't wait to see you guys when I'm in Tampa! We still up for checking out the old highschool? Story time! ::dances:: Good stories: Lucky Me, Studio in the Country, Brian and Me, Far From Home (In the gay/College directory) and My Surprise Romance! :) Keep it up you guys! One More Try By: Corrado Bottieri He must've taken my choking for some kind of disapproval, because he looked down and started to explain how he'd leave and never come back if that made me feel better. I started to cough a lot harder and he looked up at me. Reacting swiftly, he pulled me up into a standing position and placed himself behind me. Before I knew it, he had me in the Heimlich Maneuver position, and started to perform it on me. It was unsuccessful until the third time when the paper clip dislodged itself and went flying out of my mouth. He fell back and I fell right next to him, my head landing on his chest. We lay there motionless for a time, the only sound were our hearts and my ragged breathing. "Thank...you." I said as soon as my breathing returned to normal and I was able to speak again. I turned over and looked into his green, sparkling eyes and smiled. "Thank you," I said softly. "Don't expect more, but here," And I kissed his cheek. "Now," I rolled over on my stomach and locked my gaze with his, "Let's talk." The tone of my voice surprised even myself. I stood up and sat on my bed; he sat next to me. "Tell me." I stated. "Everything." He sighed and looked into my eyes. "Allright." He said. "I'll tell you." And he did. He told me everything. Everything about how while he was growing up and how he knew he was gay, and how he met the first guy who took advantage of him. Kevy Boy's Flashback: A short-haired youth of about twelve to thirteen, with a bad Ringo Starr haircut sat on a porch in the middle of Nowheresville, Kansas. His piercing green eyes set out to survey the endless grassy field that was his backyard. The tall trees in the far distance proved to be the barrier of the forest. He stood up and graciously walked out into the field, ever so graciously. He would occasionally stop and gaze back at the house as if he was afraid someone would come after him, or as if he was leaving something or someone of great importance behind. All of a sudden he heard a loud bang. He knew instantly what it was: His father was home. Not wanting his father, or any other relative to find him, he ran. As fast as his young legs could carry him, and maybe even a little faster. He kept running and running. He didn't even stop when he reached the barrier to the woods. His slender legs and youthlike torso didn't expire as quickly as an adult's would. He had the energy to run continuously for quite a long period of time. Finally spotting his target, a small grassy hill in a clearing in the middle of the woods, he forced himself to run faster. The faster he reached it, the faster his problems would disappear. Or so he thought. As soon as he reached the grassy hill, he threw himself on it, and at the same time, threw himself to the mercy of the small woodland creatures. Could this picture have any more sorrow? A small boy weeping on a grassy hill. Reflecting on the past, and on his new feelings. But the young child was so confused. He was only twelve, maybe thirteen after all. And having to deal with the problems of growing up, as well as his newfound sexual orientation, he had a lot to deal with at such a young age. As the years progressed, our little elfin child grew into a strapping young man. He still had that bad hair cut, but he was growing up. He dealt with his orientation by hiding it in the back of his head, hoping it would never show itself. He buried himself in religion with his cousin, and found himself growing up quite unexpectedly when his father died. The boy, now known as a man, has gotten himself a great career, and even is engaged for the second time in his lifetime. Though he truly did love her, it wasn't Love, just love. He loved her more as a sister, or as he loved the rest of the guys he worked with. But he could not bring himself to end it with her, so he kept up with the charade. Until finally, one evening, he met Damien. Something triggered at the back of his mind. Everything seemed too natural with Damien, so calm and centered. He felt something toward Damien that he had never felt toward his fiancee. And so, he spent as much time as he could with his Prince Damien. And when Nicholas did what he did with Damien, he realized something, something that had been hidden away for years, something that he didn't remember existed, a part of himself that he locked away. The part that would eventually lead him to his Prince, and the key to his Prince's bedroom. (So to speak.) And soon, ever so soon, will he be truly happy. - - - - "I know what it's like," I said as I placed my hand over his shoulders and hugged him close. "It was hell hiding my sexuality from my parents and even my closest friends. But unlike you," I chuckled softly, "I've always known that I was bisexual." I shrugged and he looked directly into my eyes. "You mean, you're...?" I nodded and chuckled. "I mean, I am...duh." I said grinning. "I'm surprised you didn't put two and two together. I was acting a little...pink...these last few days. Eh, just so you know," I started, "I'm not always this quirky. Just when I'm in mixed company that I don't know too well." He smiled but it was so brief that if I hadn't been looking for it, I wouldn't have seen it. "Management called earlier." He said softly. "Today's Tuesday right?" "Yeah," I replied. "The fourth of April." He nodded as he let that register. "We have to leave Thursday, the sixth." As soon as the words left his lips I turned and looked right at him. "We have to go back to Orlando," I looked at him harder, "For some photo shoot thing we have to do." He sighed, "I love the job, but it just interferes so much with our personal lives." I wondered what he meant by 'personal lives,' but I didn't read into it. I smiled and gave him an interesting one-armed hug. He smiled the smile that set my nerves on fire, and then he stood up and walked out. Just like that, no 'see you later' he just up and left. I sighed and leaned back on my bed, feeling the familiar pain of my back. I made a mental note to get that checked before the week was out. I stood up and walked down the stairs slowly into the living room. Afraid of the interrogation that I was going to receive. It was quiet, too quiet. And just as I turned the corner to see where everyone was, Kelly jumped right on my back and dragged me down to the floor. "There he is!" I heard someone shout, "Get 'im!" Someone else said. "Kelly, get off." I said grumpily. "You'd like that." She said as if nothing had ever happened. I rolled my eyes and stood right up, with her on my back. She yelped and grabbed onto my shoulders and I gave her a piggyback ride. "Get off me, Kel." I said with a light yawn. My energy resources are down to...nil. I started to walk while she held on to me and I mumbled something. She let go and turned me around. "Damien," she said, I had noticed that the rest of the guys, all except Nick, were standing behind her. "Its back isn't it?" I turned around and walked towards the couch. "I don't know what you're talking about." I stated simply. "The pain in your back, its back, isn't it?" I sighed and nodded. "Damn you," She said softly, "Why didn't you tell me?" "I just thought about it a few minutes ago. That's one of the reasons I'm so damn grumpy." "You should get that checked." Nick said as he came into the room. "No one asked for your opinion." I snapped. I didn't think about what I said and as soon as I realized what I said, I turned crimson. "Look, Nick, I'm sorry. I get grumpy when I'm in pain." I grunted a little and then trudged over to the couch. "Yeah, can you imagine him during his period?" Kelly quipped. "It's like Brittany Spears before her boob job: Bloody Mary with steroids. I thought about that for a moment and then bust out laughing. Everyone else followed when it appeared that I was in a better mood. I wasn't though, I was still in terrible back pain. ---- "Does it hurt here?" I felt a sharp pain in my back. "Yes! You son of a fucking bitch!" I screamed at the doctor. Kelly started to laugh even harder and I growled at her. "Not funny." "How about here?" The doctor asked as he pressed a little to the left. And also a little too hard. I jumped up and my head hit the food tray and sent jello flying into the wall. I started to scream obscenities at the dick and he backed away. Finally, I calmed down a little, well, enough to where I wasn't flying around and spitting every obscenity I could think of. "Asshole!" Was the last thing I said before Kelly gagged me. "Sorry, Doc, pain makes him grumpy." Kelly said softly, "And the fact that all his friends voted for him going to a doc." She shrugged. I bit her finger and growled. "Never stick that hand by my mouth again, who knows where it's been." I grumped. "It's perfectly allright. He has good reason. He's got a pinched nerve." The doc stated. I turned and looked at him. "I could'a told you that." I said softly. He nodded. "I'm going to prescribe for you some medication, I would like for you to take them." I glanced at him. "I mean it." "Fine, fine." I said grumbling. "Good!" The Doc smiled and walked out of the room. I turned on my side and glanced at Kelly. "Pain relievers?" I mouthed. She smiled. "They'll be good for you." She said with that smile on her face, "I mean, after all, the guys won't know the difference. You doped up on pain relievers or you straight." I snorted. "They'll never see a straight me." I said, I totally didn't think about the pun there. "You got that right." She played innocently. No weapons nearby, damn, guess I'm stuck with pillow. "Ow! What was that for?" "Nothing." I said, playing innocent. The guys left on Thursday for the photo shoots in Orlando, and after many threats of losing my most prized possession, I consented to go to the hospital about my back. They were, after all, worried about me. Right? So, I went on Saturday. I didn't want to go at all but Kelly had her big muscled friend come over and throw me in the car while I was asleep. (I'm a very heavy sleeper) So, here I was, lying on a hospital bed and getting fucked every which ways and what ways. "When are the guys getting back?" I asked while the doctor was away. "Next week, Friday I think." Kelly said softly, it was obvious that she missed Brian even if he was going to be gone for only a few days. I nodded, "I've gotten used to having them around. So tell me, how did you meet Brian?" I asked, finally asking the quest that I had wanted but just never had the chance. "Uh, remember that concert I went to a while ago?" I nodded, "Well, I got backstage tickets and I met them then...and we just kept in touch." "How come I never knew?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. She shrugged. "How can I help it if you're slow." She asked, punching my lightly in the arm. "It's a wonder how I survived living with you. You're a disaster waiting to happen." I grumbled. She giggled. "Eh, it's not my fault." She said softly. She smiled cheerfully and jumped out of her chair, "C'mon," she said a little too chipper like, "let's get you those meds and then get you home. Deal?" I nodded. "Deal." So, off we were! The doc came back, explained how I was to take those meds and that they would last for a week until I could get the prescription filled. I just smiled and nodded and agreed with everything he said. I wanted out of there and I wanted out now! After about putting up with him for three millennia, we left. Kelly smiled at me as we stopped by McDonalds to get me a drink and some light food, (Large fry, arch deluxe and a large soda) so I could take the pill. On the short ride back from Middletown, my pill started to take affect. I didn't know what he gave me but it was working pretty damn well! "Hey, Damien?" Kelly asked. It took me a second to respond. "Yeah, babe?" I replied. She laughed and shook her head. "Can I ask you a question while you're doped up on steroids?" She asked, raising an eyebrow but keeping an eye on the road. "Shoot." I replied. "Okay, two." I nodded, "One, what did that Doc give you?" I sat back in my seat and tried to read the label on the bottle. I squinted my eyes and groaned inwardly. "I can't read this. Blurry vision. Pull over." I ordered softly. I felt the car slowly halt to a stop and then Kelly grabbing the bottle out of my hand. After a few minutes I heard her swear under her breath. Then I heard her mumble 'Orphenadrine citrate.' After she repeated it a few times she growled. I recognized that growl. "He's got you doped up on Norflex!" That meant absolutely nothing to me. "What?" I mumbled. "Norflex. Also known as Orphenadrine citrate." She repeated. "I know that, what's got you so worked up though?" I asked, curious. It takes something of importance to get Kelly riled up. "Does he have any idea what happens when you take your Glucophage pill and then this?" She hit the steering wheel, hard. "I know you Damien, and I know that this is going to drain you. It'll also kill your kidneys." She said furiously. "Drain me?" I asked, my curiosity piqued. "Yeah, when you mix these two prescriptions it can cause CNS depression." She sighed, "I'm not too familiar with that. But this'll make you really sleepy and slowly destroy your kidneys." I was awake now...even if I wasn't before. "It'll do what?" I asked. She smiled, "It'll inhibit the ability of renal capillaries to exchange ions." She lost me again. "Uh huh." I was gone. "You're kidneys'll cease to function." She said bluntly. I nodded. "Oh." I said not quite understanding. I was a bit groggy. She sighed. "Thankfully, the prescription is only for a few months. If you mix these two for a few years...you'll start having problems. Nothing to worry about." I grunted; it was nice to feel safe. "So, what do you think about Kevin?" She asked hesitantly. "What do you mean?" I replied quite innocently. "I saw you checking him out!" She said like a little schoolgirl. I grinned along with her. "I feel like we're back in highschool, and that we're drooling over some guy." I said as I baited her. "Eh, Kevin's cute but not my type. He's too tall, now Brian on the other hand..." She smiled knowingly, "He's a hottie. Not too bad in bed, either." I laughed. "I don't need to hear about how well your boyfriend is in bed." I pointed out. She laughed. "Yeah you do, you might learn something. I especially love the sound he makes when he comes." I blinked. "You do?" I started to play with my shoelaces. She drove on. "Yeah, it's a cute sound...it's like an, 'Unnnh yeah.'" She smiled, "Kind of like the sound you make." I froze. "Kelly!" I said gawking. "I thought..." "Yeah yeah, I told you I walked in on you and Jason...you just never pay any attention to me." She whined a little bit. I laughed, "Good." I said softly. "I'm going to sleep, wake me up when we got home." She nodded. "I'll wake you." She said just as I started to nod off and she pulled onto the freeway. We made it home in no record time with just one or two stops. I remember opening my eyes and watching Kelly pump gas. I just groaned and rolled over. I was tired. My lack of sleep since Kevin was gone was beginning to creep up on me. And the pills weren't helping any either. I'm going to be irritable for awhile. As soon as we got home, I stumbled inside and collapsed on my bed. I heard Kelly shout faintly that I was insociable and that I would rot in hell. That was the last thing I remember before blacking out. ---- "No, Dad. No!" A small child yelled. "Don't hit her!" His voice was calm, demanding. But the command sounded strange coming from a child who looked no more then twelve. When in reality, he was only eight. She screamed at the father as his hand was deftly gaining speed and finally made sickening contact with the side of her face. The only sound was the sickening clap of skin against skin and then a crack as bones were bent and broken. Blood poured out of her mouth as she stood up and ran out the front door. "Don't say anything." The big, burly man said as he glared down at the young child. "Or you'll be next." The giant disappeared into a room with the strong willed woman and left the young child on the ground, weeping uncontrollably. He let out a small shriek as yelps of pain are heard from behind the door. He could only imagine what was happening to his mother. ---- "Damien!" Kelly screamed, "Damien!" She screamed into my ear. I jumped awake with a start. And for a second, I felt like I was nine again, and back in my bed. And I started to scream and I curled up on a corner in the bed. "No, daddy, don't hurt me." I cried softly. Kelly slowly crawled on the bed and toward me and hugged me close. "No, it's okay." She said softly, "Sissy's here. It's okay, Dam...you're going to be just fine." She kissed the top of my head and realization settled in. I blushed furiously. "I'm sorry." I said after the tears had dried up and there was nothing left to come out. "I'm sorry." I said again. She just kept kissing my forehead and rocking me. "Rocks can break too." She sang softly. "I've seen it, I've felt it." "Thank you." I turned around and hugged her. "Thank you, Kelly. I love you, sis." I said hugging her a little tighter. "Love me a little less." She mumbled as I squeezed the very breath out of her. I smiled at her and slowly crawled off of my bed. "While you were comatose," she said grinning, "I went out and bought some candy. But for after dinner, want some?" My stomach growled in response. She laughed loudly and grinned, "I'll take that as a yes." I slowly got out of bed and changed while she was right there. It never bothered me before, it sure as hell wasn't going to bother me now. She smiled as soon as I was ready and pushed me down the stairs. "C'mon!" She urged, "I'm starving." I laughed and ran with her as she pushed past toward the kitchen. "Well?" I asked. "Where's dinner?" My stomach growled again. "Hold your horses, it's in the oven. Give it..." She checked her watch and then the oven, "fifteen more minutes." I smiled at her. "Until then, let's talk!" "About what?" I asked rather suspiciously. "Kevin." She stated. "Who?" I asked, playing innocent. "Oh, you know, Kevin Richardson, the boy band member who stole your heart and whose heart you stole. The guy who wants to pour syrup all over your body and lick each part deliciously slow?" Oh. Him. "Oh! That Kevin." I furrowed my brow, "Really? He wants to do that?" I squirmed in my seat at her nod. "Wow, I knew he liked guys but I didn't think he liked me." "Yeah, well, you've been helping him in more ways than one." She gave me a small, sad smile. "How so?" I asked, my curiosity piqued. "It isn't my place to say...but you two need each other." I laughed. "We do?" I asked. "Destiny, fate, love, whatever you want to call it..." I groaned, I never believed in fate. "Just remember that he likes you, don't hurt him." I nodded slowly and walked over to her by the oven and gave her a hug. "Thank you." I said softly, "I'll talk to him." She nodded. "Good, now! Considering they won't be back for a few days, let's enjoy the quiet time." I raised my eyebrow. "Oh?" I asked. She was brewing something, nasty little bitch. "Yeah." She said grinning, "We're going to talk." Uh oh. "About what?" I prodded. "You." She smiled devilishly. "And Nick." I groaned. "I am NOT talking to you about Nick. I'm surprised the little shit didn't tell you what happened. I'm sure he's proud of it." I said with a little more venom than I had intended to. "Damien." She said cautiously. "Don't Damien me." I said furiously, "Do you want to know what happened? We started to talk when he kissed me." She blinked. "He kissed me. And you know WHY I'm so furious?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. She shook her head. "Because I didn't like it, that's why. He's everything I want in a man." I sighed, "And I didn't like it." "Damien," She said softly. "You're human. You're entitled to a little pleasure. Why do you feel so guilty?" "Because I don't want him. I don't know why, I just don't!" I roared. "He's every thing I want, everything I need, but he means nothing to me, and I don't know why." I sighed softly. "Kevin's another story." "Oh?" She asked. I nodded. "Kevin's cute, smart, intelligent. He's..." I sighed, "Everything I don't want. I'm not used to feeling things for men like him. But...I like him." "You like him?" She asked, her eyes betraying her tone. "A lot." I added. I glanced at my watch and mumbled. "It's only six?" I whined. "I've gotta call the mother tomorrow. And John...I promised him I'd keep in touch." She smiled. "John's a good kid." She said as she stood up and walked over to the oven to get dinner out. I glanced at it as it came out of the oven. "You sound like you're forty." I said in response to what she said and then sniffed the casserole. "Smells good." She sniffed the casserole. "It does smell good. Want some?" I nodded and went to the cabinet to grab some plates and then to the drawers to grab some forks and knives. She blinked at me. "It's a casserole, not steak. You don't need knives." I just sat down and waited for her to serve the casserole. My stomach kept growling and I started to feel the infamous hunger pains. While I was eating, we were tossing insults back and forth. Finally, I finished what I was eating, took my glucophage pill, and walked back into my room. I was catching up on all the hours of sleep I'd ever missed. I was going to be one miserable camper when I woke up the next morning...but I didn't care. I was tired. So all I did was strip down and crawl into bed. And with that, I was asleep in seconds.