Date: Mon, 2 Jan 2006 19:37:13 +0000
From: Mike Rich <gridlinked@gmail.com>
Subject: Paranoia Chapter 6

Disclaimer:

The following story contains sexual content and deals with homosexual
relationships.
It is not for people under the legal age.
If you are offended by the contents of this story, or it is illegal in your
location to view this type of material, leave now.
This story is fiction and is not intended to imply anything about the true
sexuality of the celebrities mentioned or any personal knowledge about
their private lives.


Any comments can be send to gridlinked@gmail.com


Chapter 6


It had been so long since he had to get ready for a party. The last one he
had gone to was when one of Rick's friends had thrown a Luau kinda thing.
Here he was now, looking at his closet trying to find something to wear
that wouldn't say "I'm alone".  He had time, Tommy would probably take two
hours getting ready.  Thank God Nick wasn't here or who knows when they
would leave.  Andrew still didn't know what was going on between the singer
and his nephew, but somehow he didn't think even they knew. It had been 5
days since the funeral and A.J. seemed to be getting along great with the
baby.  Andrew hadn't seen Kevin once after that, and he knew the singers
were going to Florida by the end of the weekend. Alicia had called him
stubborn a lot these past few days, but he knew he was right. It was
Kevin's fault, he had been the one that didn't let him talk.  Actually
Andrew was more worried about Tommy and Nick. With the singer leaving he
wasn't sure where that left the two.

"Hum... the blue one." He said to himself when he finally picked out a
shirt.

He got dressed and was looking good. The blond hair was spiked in all
directions, and he had shaved. He was wearing a blue shirt and some plain
dark blue jeans. He put the leather jacket on and made his way to the
living room. To his surprise Tommy was there grinning at him.

"Looking good, what took you so long?" He asked amused.

"Shut up!" Andrew said smiling at his nephew. Yeah, maybe this wouldn't be
a bad thing, getting out, seeing people, no, he decided that it was
definitely a good thing.




Nick met with Andrew, Alicia, Rick and Tommy at Alicia's apartment per
previous arrangement. They were to go together wile the rest of the Band
took the limo. This way Nick would get them in.  They were all in Alicia's
car, driving to the club where the party was being held. Andrew was in the
front next to his ex wife. She looked gorgeous. She always did, but somehow
he didn't think he had ever seen her more beautiful.

"Can you stop staring Andrew i am trying to drive."

"Cant help it honey, you look amazing."

"She sure does." Rick said agreeing with Andrew.

"Well i appreciate it but just quit it, it creeps me out." Alicia said
making them all laugh.

They got to the club at 10. The night outside looked good. The sky was
cloudy but the temperature, for January, wasn't all that bad. They got in
rather quickly, but with Nick Carter with you, Andrew didn't expect to
wait. As soon as they were in Andrew stopped to look at all the
people. There were just so many.  The club was big, at the very end
alongside the wall there was a bar. In the middle taking most of the club's
space, was this huge dance floor, well, he imagined it was there, you
couldn't see it with all the people.

"Isn't this great?" Alicia yelled over the loud music. Andrew looked at
her, yes, she was stunning. She had wore her red dress. He had always loved
that dress. It had a low back, so she looked much taller. It just fitted
her so well. And with her long dark hair and the green eyes, she just
looked too good to be true.

"Yes honey, its great, come on lets dance." Andrew grabbed her hand and
made his way to the dance floor.

A quick look back told him that Nick, Tommy and Rick were going to meet the
guys. He followed them with his eyes until they stopped at the bar. There
he saw him. Kevin, standing there with Brian and the rest of them.  He
continued to make his way to the middle of the dance floor with Alicia who
was all smiles. They were turning some heads in the crowd, but he knew it
was all her. They wanted her, all of them, how could they not.  At the bar
he saw Nick point to the group where he and Alicia were, and then it
happened. Kevin turned to see where Nick was pointing at. Andrew met his
eyes. From the distance he couldn't tell what Kevin was thinking, so he
just grabbed Alicia and started dancing.  The lights were flaring to the
beat and people were jumping all over until the next song came on.  Sway.
And so they did.  People were a little phased by the change but Alicia
never missed a beat. They grabbed each other and started dancing. Round a
few steps, they swirled all over. She could put those Pussycat Dolls to
shame.  People were starting to give them space. Andrew knew why.  She was
just that good.  They danced, the whole song, until they finished with her
in his arms smiling.  Alicia was happy. Andrew though that the only way to
top this moment for her, would be for Ben to be here.

'Yeah mom would have loved that.'

Alicia hugged him wile the group of people around them clapped.

"Honey?" Andrew started "Can we go get a drink?"

Alicia just nodded smiling. They reached the bar where a mix of moods could
be seen.

Tommy was smiling a big smile. Nick just smiled with him. Rick was giving
him an odd look. A.J. was looking at his drink. Howie just looked at
Alicia, Brian was looking pissed, and Kevin...

'Kevin?'

"He's gone" Brian voiced over the music that had turned loud and jumpy once
again "in the middle of your show."

He let it sink in. 'Dam it' "Where did he go?"

Brian's face turned more calm "Back to the Hotel" He said, and after a
slight pause "room 3012."

"Thank you" Andrew said, and he then turned to Alicia. "Ally, can you
forgive me if i leave you here with these guys?"

Alicia just smiled "Men! You are all the same, of course not sweetie, go!
Here take my car, we'll catch a cab."

He didn't even bother discussing it with her, he knew there was no
point. So he just grabbed the keys, took one last look at Rick and left.




'OK Buddha one last time, i need your help, OK? Please make him listen.'

He had driven all the way to the Hotel where the guys were staying at, he
didn't know how he hadn't been stopped once by the police because of the
way he was driving. Anyway, he decided it wasn't exactly his fault, after
all he had just driven 5 times if we were counting this one, in all of his
life.

He was just standing there looking at the door to the 3012 room. Oddly
enough the body guards hadn't given him any trouble. He just stared at the
number a bit more, as if doing so could make what he was about to do,
easier.

Finally he gave up hope for an easy way out, he just had to do it.  He
knocked once and not even with that much strength. But once was
enough. Soon the door was being open by a sad looking Kevin.

"What... are you doing here?" Kevin asked, clearly surprised.

"Well" Andrew started saying, "I thought that maybe it was time i took
another shot at explaining myself, and maybe this time I'll be lucky enough
not to lose my audience."

Kevin looked down, and without looking up, opened the door fully and
motioned Andrew in with his hand.

"Well I'll get right to it" Andrew said not wanting to waste time in case
Kevin changed his mind and stormed out of his own room "You said you liked
me and i said i liked you. I also said i couldn't be with you and you then
stormed off. So i guess that left me with the question of how much you like
me if you wont even listen to me."

"No... what? No, i like you a lot." Kevin was speaking as fast as he could
"I was just upset, it got to me."

"Yeah well, i don't see why i had to be the one making a move again but no
matter." Andrew said. He was upset.  Upset about the fact that he did like
Kevin, a lot, he just wasn't sure if Kevin liked him or thought he liked
him. He turned around to face the window. New York was below him. All the
lights on the tall buildings, all the cars always roaming the streets, even
the people at this time of the night, it all made it really feel like the
City never did sleep.  He turned to face Kevin once more and saw him
looking at him, tears running down his face.

'Oh no!'

He didn't even think, he just closed the gap between them and threw his
arms around the taller man. Kevin just hugged back.

"I'm so sorry Andrew, I'm just so sorry." Kevin started saying between
sobs.

Andrew forgot he was upset at that point. His man was crying, he just
wanted him to stop.  For awhile they stood like that, just hugging. The
light from the buildings outside was the only thing keeping the room from
total darkness.  Andrew gently pushed Kevin back and motioned him to seat
on the bed, he then knelled in front of him and put one hand on his knee.

"OK, Kev, just let me talk and after i am through you'll decide what you
want to do OK?."

Kevin just nodded, a single tear still going down his right cheek.

"When i said no, i never meant "no i don't want to be with you!", there is
a lot to consider here OK? I wish it was simple, and i could just decide to
be with you and try to make it work but i cant." He looked at Kevin who was
just trying hard to see a silver lining. "I like you Kevin, a lot, i do,
but i also have a son. Things aren't simple when you have children. I mean
look at me" Andrew said standing up "I am 23, i look like i am 18 and i
should be the one saying "Please take me Kevin.", but i cant. I have
Ben. And i love him more than anything.  He is my life, and i need to make
sure that i make good decisions. My life affects his." Andrew stopped a bit
and looked at the ceiling. "My heart tells me to go for it, with you, but
my brain doesn't let me" He looked at Kevin again.  "You have to give me
time, so that my brain can catch up to my heart. Those moments you talked
about?  In Paris? I was so happy when you mentioned them because it made me
feel like my feelings weren't lost on you.  But i cant build a relationship
on just two moments of my life, not when i have Ben. I need to know you,
you need to get to know me, that's the only way this will work. I know that
Ben wont even remember the first two years of his life, but he is starting
to get to an age from where he will remember things when he gets older. I
just want to make sure that his first memory is of a happy home." Andrew
watched Kevin's face turn to one of understanding.

Andrew knelt down again in front of Kevin and spoke in a caring tone. "I am
not asking for time apart, i never wanted that. That would take us
nowhere. I want time together, but i need you to be my friend through that
time until my brain catches up. Please Kevin..." Andrew had said
everything, now it was up to Kevin he knew.  He looked at the handsome man
and tried to discern his reaction. To his relief Kevin smiled.

Kevin stood up and helped Andrew do the same. As soon as they were both
standing Kevin hugged the smaller man.  "I'm sorry" he said "I was just so
sad when you said no, and then i though about Alicia and Rick, and i...  I
know I'm not ugly, but i know i cant compete and..."

"Hey hey" Andrew interrupted hugging Kevin tightly "Why do you think that?"

"Just look at them, they are nice, they are both funny, and they are just
the most beautiful people i ever saw, they're perfect."

"So why are you hugging me and not one of them?" Andrew asked

Kevin pushed him enough so he could look at him in the eyes. "What do you
mean, i don't like them, i mean i do, they're nice, but you know what i
mean, i like you!"

"So what makes you think i would chose them again?" Andrew just wanted
Kevin to understand.

"I... don't know" Kevin responded pushing Andrew back against his chest.

"Well, according to you i had perfection twice, and i can tell you right
now, if you haven't noticed, it didn't work out" Andrew said with a hint of
laughter in his voice. "Look, i like you, you like me , lets leave it at
that."

"OK" was all that Kevin said.

"So we're good? Can we try and get to know each other first?" Andrew asked
finally breaking the long embrace.

"Yes definitely." Kevin responded with a smile. "can i just ask for
something?" He continued with a hint of mischief in his voice.

"What?" Andrew said enjoying the change of mood.

"Can i get a kiss to hold me until your brain realizes that i am in fact
the one for you?"

Andrew just smiled. He leaned in on Kevin again and, slowly, the man bent
his head a little so their lips could meet. First just the lips, then
Andrew felt Kevin's hand on his back pushing him closer wile his tongue
tried to get his lips to open up. Giving up any resistance he just enjoyed
it. their tongues met and for one single moment they both knew how the
other one felt.

Outside it had started raining, first slowly then more heavily and the few
people on the streets ran for cover.  A car had stopped, bumping slightly
on another one. Soon New York spirits were rising even in the rain. People
shouted and cars honked. On the Hotel restaurant a waiter dropped a trey
full of dishes on the kitchen floor, making an already mad restaurant
manager, even madder. But both men on the room 3012 were oblivious to any
of that. They were each kissing their man, and who cared about the world?




They had just gotten to the apartment, both Tommy and Nick were
exhausted. Tommy could sense Nick had something on his mind. He had been
distant all night, yes, something was definitely up.  Together they reached
Tommy's bedroom. Nick made his way to the bathroom and without a word
closed the door.  Thomas just reached for the bed and sat there, waiting.

A few minutes later Tommy saw a boxer brief wearing Nick coming out of the
bathroom.

"We need to talk." Nick said with a serious tone.

"OK" Yeah they needed to talk, Tommy knew, but now? 'Damn it.'

"OK, well, why don't i start" Nick said as he sat down on the bed next to
the younger man "I am not going to pretend that either one of us doesn't
know what is happening here. We both like each other and we both don't want
to take the first step, i think for different reasons. OK so far?" He
asked.

"Yeah, yeah... hum... yeah" Tommy just stuttered.

"I like you Tommy, i really do, and i guess i am just wondering where we
were going with this..." He trailed of.

Tommy kept waiting for Nick to continue but when he didn't he realized that
it was his time to talk... about his feelings.

'I know i am gonna mess this up' "Look Nick i like you, but I'm not sure
I'm gay, so i don't really think we should..." But he didn't have time to
finish, Nick was getting up looking defeated.

"Its fine, i understand" The singer started saying looking out the window
that faced Central Park "I didn't think you would want anything it was
mostly just hope you know? But yeah, you're not gay i understand... i
better go" He started going to the bathroom when Tommy reached for his arm
and turned him around.

"NO!" he said it with such desperation in his voice Nick just stood there
perplexed. "Please Nicky don't leave.  I like you, a lot. Its just that, i
don't want to hurt you. If we start something and then it doesn't work
out... i just don't want to hurt you because of my lack of experience,
understand?" He stopped and looked at Nick who was just standing there, a
tear starting to make its way down his cheek. With one finger Tommy caught
it. "When i saw you on the park in Paris, standing there on the other side
of the fountain, snow falling everywhere, i just wanted to take your pain
and put it all on me. I need you to understand something" He said raised
Nicks chin with his finger and looking into his eyes "I don't have any
doubts of how i feel about you, i just have doubts of how i feel about
being with a guy."

And then Nick understood. "Then we'll take it slow, Tommy, please just give
us a chance, if you like me and i like you, please lets try." Nick was
begging, and Tommy just couldn't stand it.

"How do we do this?" Nick immediately smiled.

"Well, hum... oh OK, well, you could come with us to Florida when we leave
on Sunday, because of the baby A.J.  asked for a vacation so we could use
that time to get to know each other." Nick said hopeful.

"I cant Nicky, i have school, i cant just miss my classes" Nick's face
immediately fell "but, but, we could meet on every weekend, i can fly there
or you can fly up, OK?"

"Yeah OK" Said Nick feeling happier "Yeah that would work" He then just
hugged Tommy, who hugged him back.  "Tommy?" started Nick still hugging the
young man.

"Yeah?"

"Can you hold me tonight?"

"Of course Nicky, you don't have to ask, i would have done so anyway."
Tommy pushed Nick back tenderly and started to take off his clothes. Nick
just stood there admiring the heavy built 18 year old.  Together they went
under the covers and snuggled.

"I love you" Tommy heard Nick say when he was almost falling asleep. He
wanted to say it back so badly he knew that was what he was feeling, but he
just couldn't. Instead he just snuggled closer.




Ben was asleep. He had been for an hour now. Alicia was just checking on
him one last time before turning in herself. The sitter had done a great
job, Ben seem to love her, well, Ben seemed to love everyone.  Alicia
smiled to herself. Then she heard the knock on the front door.

'Its 2 am, who the hell knocks at 2 am?'

She closed the door to Ben's room and went to the entry hall. Looking
through the spy glass she saw Rick, dripping wet.

"Rick?" She said as she opened the door to let him in.

"Hey Ally" said the man with a small smile "Can i come in? I need someone
to talk to."

"Rick" She started closing the door after the man had gotten in "Its 2 am."

"Yeah... yes you're right, sorry, i'll go..."

"No" she said quickly, something wasn't right "No you wont, i just want to
know whats happening."

Rick looked down and when he looked back at Alicia, she noticed that rain
wasn't the only thing running down his face. "I really lost him didn't i?"
he asked crying a little.

"Who honey?" Alicia said in a soothing tone.

"Andy. What was i thinking? I had the perfect guy and i let him get away
because of a guy that doesn't even love me."

"What are you talking about, i though you were happy with... Will was it?"

"Yeah, Will, it didn't work out Ally. And i know that now its too late and
i don't intend on messing things up for Andrew and Kevin, you know i
wouldn't."

"I know." She did too.

"I just miss him i guess, i miss the way he made me feel."

"Me too, honey, me too, come on, lets get you out of these wet clothes
before you catch a cold and i have to listen to you be Nasal for the next
two weeks."

Rick smiled a little and let himself be taken to Alicia's bedroom.




Alicia woke up with a start.

'Ben!'

She ran out of the bedroom and into Ben's.

'Oh thank God.'

Ben was there, sleeping peacefully smiling at something only he could see.
Alicia felt relieved. Everything was OK with her world.  After kissing her
son, she slowly made her way back to her room, and when she crossed the
doorway she stopped.

"OH SHIT!"



Well, it seemed a good place to stop, i hope you're not mad about the
cliffhanger but i should post the next chapter in a day or two.  I hope
you're still enjoying the story, like always any comment or critic is
welcomed.

gridlinked@gmail.com

All the best

Mike