Date: Thu, 31 Aug 2000 22:06:02 EDT From: Jessica Taylor Subject: Picking Up the Pieces Chapter 1 Disclaiers and Such... This does not in any way, shape, or form imply anthying sexually about the characters involved in this story, namely the Backstreet Boys. They could be... they might not be, who am I to say for sure? The characters of Zach, Amy, and Kyle are not real people either, just figments of an overactive immagination. If you're under 18... why are you here? Tisk, tisk, tisk you really shouldn't be. Same goes for if you are offended by homosexual relationships, why are you here? It's also my first time submitting something to Nifty... so don't be too harsh. We all stumble when we first learn to walk. Email is: Midnight_Violet18@hotmail.com for any hate mail, praises or anything else you could think of. And now... Picking Up the Pieces (of a Shattered Life) Chapter 1 Life is a delicate thing. Love lives are even more precious. So can someone tell me why God has decided to fuck me over royally? Wait...I had better start from the beginning. Then maybe you'll understand where I'm coming from. I had just gotten into New York literally seconds before I decided to surprise my boyfriend. Zach and I had been together for months. Nick and Zach, Zach and Nick, the guys were about to punt us out a window we were so sweet to each other. Zach hadn't called me in the last month, and even though I had been pretty busy with promotional stuff and all that crap that comes along with a new album, I was concerned. We hadn't gone two weeks without talking to each other. So hence the surprise visit. Going to the apartment address I knew by heart, I went to Zach's loft, avoiding at all possible confrontation with anybody. As I knocked on the door, I heard a shuffle, a scream of "I'll be right there!" and a girl's giggle. "That's weird. Zach doesn't talk to that many girls that he actually invites back to his place." I thought as I waited impatiently and now with curiosity for Zach to open the door. "One more sec--" Zach said as he opened the door and poked his head out. His green eyes widened in surprise when he saw me. "Nick...I didn't expect to hear from you today, much less see you." "Well I just got in a few minutes ago, and when my boyfriend decides to not talk to me for a month, I decide to take matters into my own hands and see him." I said, smiling slightly. "Oh... sorry about the not calling thing." He said, running his fingers through his short brown hair. Uh oh, Zach only did that when he was nervous. "Zachy! Come back here!" I heard the same girl who had giggled yell. "Who's that?" I asked him, now trying to get into the apartment and see who this mystery girl was. "Nobody." Zach was still blocking the doorway. "Zach. Come back to bed." A woman said as she rested her head on Zach's shoulder. It was plainly obvious that she was wearing nothing under a sheet. Then she noticed me standing there, shock starting to appear on my face. Who the fuck was this woman screwing with my boyfriend? "Hi. I'm Sarah." She said with a cheerfulness that was completely intoxicating and suffocating me at the same time. "Who is she?" I asked Zach, tears forming at the corner of my eyes. So sue me, I'm a softy when it comes to my relationships. "She's my...girlfriend." Zach said softly. I knew that Zach was bi, but it would have been nice if he had at least told me before I had made complete fool of myself by coming here that he had a girlfriend now. "So she's your girlfriend? Thanks for NOT TELLING ME WE BROKE UP!" I yelled, anger and heartache blurring my vision. "How much longer were you going to wait to tell me? Huh? Another two damn months?!?" "Nick let me explain..." "No don't fucking start. DON'T EVEN FUCKING START ZACHARY JAMES OWENS!" I yelled at the top of my lungs as tears blurred my vision and I started backing away from him to the stairs. "Just don't fucking start apologizing." I said softly as I opened the door for the stairwell forcefully and started running down the steps, never turning back. And now here I walk, my head bent down low, shuffling my feet, wondering what went wrong and why God has decided to fuck me over. I mean what the heck did I do that pissed him off so much that he decided to screw up the one thing that was actually going good for me in my hectic life. I mean being in a relationship when you're in the public eye 24-7 was hard enough, try doing it when you're gay. I've know that I was gay for about 5 years now, and when I finally got up enough nerve to tell the guys, J was fine with it, since we all knew that he was bi anyway, and Howie took a little bit to accept it, but he was fine with it within minutes. Brian and Kevin were another story. It took some mighty long convincing from AJ and Howie that I wasn't Satan, or doomed to hell because I was gay and they were going to come with me along for the ride since they knew me. Finally Kev and Frick were fine with it, in fact nowadays we joke about it more than feel uncomfortable about it. Relationships were a tricky thing though. In the last five years, I have had about half a dozen boyfriends, Zach lasting the longest at 8 months. I had thought that maybe Zach and I were gonna finally work, since we seemed to click so well, but I guess I was wrong on that count. Another strike out in the relationship department for Carter. Finally noticing where I was, and remembering Kevin yell to me where we were staying, I redirected myself towards the hotel, knowing where to go since we had stayed there before. I decided to take the long way there, giving me more time to wallow in my self-pity. Sure wallowing in self-pity was bad for you, even made you feel more depressed, but try being me at this moment and you'll understand why I want to wallow. Eight months... eight months with the man who I thought I was going to be with for eternity... only to find out that he left me for a better fuck from a girl. That really, really sucks. Bumping into a few people on the street and muttering a few quick "I'm sorry"s I made my way to the hotel. I went straight for the front desk, bypassing some of the fans that actually managed to find our hotel and sit outside. I didn't want to deal with them right now. "My friend left me a key for the penthouse on the 34th floor with the front desk. Would it be possible for me to get it?" I asked one of the people working behind the desk. "What's the name of your friend?" the woman asked, booting up the computer to check the guest list. Damn what alias does Kevin use? Starts with a K... "Kyle Roberts." I finally remembered it. "Okay sir," the woman said seeing Kev's alias in the registry, "here's your key." She gave me an extra copy of the penthouse key. "Thanks." I said as I pulled my cap further over my bloodshot eyes. "Your welcome." she said with a pleasant smile. I went to the elevator and swiped the card through the slot to allow access to the penthouse suite. Pressing the 'Close Door' button, I leaned back against the mirrored wall of the elevator and took a few deep breaths, trying to compose myself somewhat. Finally I heard the ding of the elevator reaching its floor and the 'swish' of the elevator doors opening. Walking down the hall, I swiped the card through the electronic keycard attached to the lock on the door. I opened the door and yelled, "Hello! Anybody home?" Just then AJ came down the hall from the kitchen. "Hey Nick, Za...wait a sec, where's you hip attachment Carter?" he said jokingly, but that just got the tears started again. Does anyone know what the point is in composing yourself when you cry minutes later? Stupid Bone. Knows exactly what to say to make me feel like shit. Gotta add that one to the list of his numerous damn talents. "AJ just shut the fuck up." I said through my tears as I ran to the bedrooms and into the first open door, which thankfully was empty at the time. I closed the door with a slam as I ran to the bed and fell onto it, crying forcefully into the pillow. ********** Kevin was sitting at his portable keyboard playing with some chords for a song he had been tinkering with for a while. He knew that he wouldn't be interrupted for a while because Nick was with Zach, Howie and Brian were visiting their girls Amy and Leighanne, and AJ wanted some quality 'veg' time in front of the TV. So he figured it would be a perfect time to, hopefully, finish the song. That's when he heard Nick yell and a few minutes later a rather violent door slam. 'Damage control time. Wonder what the heck happened this time.' he thought. Kevin put down his pad and pencil on top of the keyboard and left his bedroom. Walking down the hall he heard rather loud sobbing coming from Howie's room, which he assumed was more than likely Nick. Going into the common area, he saw AJ standing there with a confused expression on his face, and an unopened bottle of beer in his hand. "What'd you do this time J?" Kevin sighed. "I didn't DO anything. All I did was ask Nick where Zach was, since Zach didn't come in with him. Then he started crying and ran into D's room." "Crap. Tell me they broke up." Kevin shook his head in his hands. "I'll go see what I can do." He turned around and walked over to Howie's room. He lightly knocked on the door, but the only thing he heard was the muffled sniffles from Nick. Grabbing the doorknob, he quietly opened the door to the room. "Nick?" The only response Kevin got as he stepped further into the room was more muffled cries as Nick cried harder into the pillow. Kevin walked over to the bed and sat down on the edge, gently rubbing Nick's back. "Nicky? Wanna talk about it?" he said as he continued to try to soothe Nick. ********** Well that's chapter 1, tell me what you think. I hope you liked it... but hey ya can't please all of the people all of the time. If you do actually think it's good then another chapter should be out in the next few weeks. Till then, this is Jess saying Adios. (Never told you I was a girl did I...)