Date: Tue, 16 Apr 2002 21:31:28 +0000 From: Suma L Subject: Pinball Wizard 9 Hi. Here it is. Um. It's not the greatest, but I gave it all I had left. --SumSum ---Sumacumlaude@hotmail.com ----Other N'Slash @ my site -- www.geocities.com/SumSumLovesYou Disclaimer - This story is filled with sin and fornication. Oh, my! If you're religion does not allow you to read such literature, don't read this. You probably wouldn't like it anyway. If homosexual themes offend you, don't read this. I don't know N Sync, (although I wish I did) and I don't know if they're gay or not. Fiction, people. F-I-C-T-I-O-N. I made it up. This is an AU - Alternative Universe fic ---Chapter 9 I picked up the phone and felt for the numbers. 123-456-789-*0#. They were all intact, but I sure didn't feel that way. My stomach felt nervous, and my fingers trembled as I pushed the buttons. Ring. Ring. Ring. 'Oh, duh.' I realized, 'he's probably at his family's home today.' Ring. 'I'll leave a message.' I thought to myself. Ring. "Hello?" I about jumped a mile when I heard him answer the phone. "Hi... It's me.. Um.. Lance." My voice shook, and I KNEW he could hear it. "So, I guess you opened my card?" "Yes." "That's good. Lance, I..." "Yeah?" "I love you a lot, and I realized last night when I went home that I love you enough to let you go..." My heart dropped to the pit of my stomach. "I want you to be happy, whether it's with Joey or Justin or even Chris. So, I think it's for the best if I let you go. What I said in the card, part of it's true now." "What made you change your mind?" I was hurting. I could feel it. All morning I'd contemplated on calling him, and for what? To get my heart broken? Bullshit. "I just thought about how you were acting last night. I was hurting you just being around you. I could feel it." "That's not the way it has to work." "I know that, Lance, but I love you enough to let go." "Oh..." "I have to go now, I have family stuff." "Okay..." "Goodbye, Lance. I'll call you up some time." "Goodbye, Josh..." I hung up the phone and began to cry. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Justin rubbed my tears off my cheeks with his fingers while I recounted the phone conversation to him, a week after the incident. "And it was just like.. like he didn't even WANT to get back together!" I sniffled, and wrapped my arms around myself. "I know... I know... I've talked to him, and he's starting to act distant." He sighed and rubbed my shoulder. "You still love him don't you?" With a scoff, I replied, "DUH!" "Point taken. Um... Have you thought about looking for someone else?" "I don't WANT anybody else!" I threw my hands up, and slumped down on the couch. "He's letting me go. He let me go. He LET ME GO!" Hysterics. I was making myself crazy. "What do you want to do, then?" "Take me to his apartment." Justin didn't say anything in response. He was probably looking at me like I was crazy. "Um.. why?" "Just take me there." I was adament about it because I had just formulated a plan! "Please. Now." "I guess... so.. .okay, let me get my keys." ~~ Ten minutes later, we were standing in front of the door to his apartment. "Justin, go. I can do this on my own." I said firmly, and reached over to pat his arm. "Okay, I'll just be outside." Footsteps thudded away from me. 'Here goes nothin." I thought. With a shaky hand, I knocked three times on the door. It was quit for a few minutes, and then I heard footsteps approach the door, and it opened. "Lance!?" JC sounded completely shocked. Perfect. I reached forward, grabbed for his shirt collar, and pulled him towards me. "You said you loved me enough to let me go." I whispered, and slid my other hand up to stroke his cheek. "But maybe I'm not willing to let you go." When my lips hit his, I kissed him harder than I ever had before, and it felt SO GOOD. I missed this. I missed being able to taste him. Forget everything I ever thought before. Where Joey was fun and new, Josh was GOOD and he was REAL. His face felt soft in my hand. When he started to kiss back, I knew he was mine. Or, atleast that's what I thought he was doing. He pulled away, and I was left there with my mouth hanging open. "Lance, would you like to meet AJ, my roommate." I shook my head and started to back away from the door. Footsteps heavier than JC's came closer. "I... I have to go." Justin was in the car, I'd just go back to him. This was a mistake. A BIG mistake. "No, Lance, WAIT!" I turned around to walk back down the stairs to the first floor, but completely missed the first step while still maintaining a hold of the rail. My foot twisted, making me turn all the way around, and then I felt my should give a painfull pop. I used my other arm to regain my balance, and then crumpled on the step, holding my shoulder. It was out of the socket, I just KNEW it. "Lance!" Josh yelled, and thudded his way to me. He reached out and grabbed my good arm. "Are you okay!? Oh my god... You caught yourself, right?" "YES." I said loudly in my 'annoyed' voice. My entire right arm was throbbing. Pain.. Pain.. "Should we get you to a doctor?" "No! Justins outside. I'm going to just go with him. He'll take me." It took all my strength to get up while trying to balance with one arm. "Okay..." He sighed, and then I felt his hand on my lower back. "But I'm going to walk with you to Justin's car." "Fine." I growled, and let him guide me down the stairs. "Look, Lance, I think you got it wrong." "Got WHAT wrong, because it's obvious that you've moved on quickly." It came out more like a statement than a question. "AJ's my ROOMMATE, Lance. NOT my boyfriend. I couldn't afford this place myself, I had to find someone to live with. AJ's straight. I asked you if you want to meet him because he was watching us the whole time.. I.. I thought it would be weird for you, you know, ...if someone was watching us the whole time and you didn't know it." I felt.. SO incredibly stupid, that I wanted to scream. It's like, when you're listening to those movies where someone is about to do something really really embarassing and stupid, and you KNOW they are, and it's like you can't listen to the scene because it is SO embarassing? Yeah. That would be what just happened. Only it was to me. And I had to hear and go through it all. Oh... GOD.. JC began to laugh a little, and then I soon did too. "Lance, I'm so SORRY that all this happened. I really am. I want to be with you again if you want to be with me. I hate living alone, or um... with AJ. He's messy." "I'm messy too." "But I like to clean up after you." I smiled, and I was sure that he was too. He reached out and wrapped me in a hug. I cringed in pain when he held me a little too tight, and the pain in my arm about killed me. "Oh, god! I'm sorry! I forgot for a second! Let's get you to a doctor, okay?" I nodded, and let him guide me all the way to Justin's car. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "So, what's going to happen now?" Justin asked me, once he and Josh had moved the last of the boxes into the house. "The groups on hold, I guess." I sighed, and tugged at my shirt. It just wasn't fitting right that day. "Obviously. There really ISN'T a group anymore, you know? Joey... Lance, I'm not even sure I know what Joey's doing anymore." "His own thing." I smiled at the thought of Joey being... Joey. "Yeah... Chris has started this little design group for clothing. I think he's totally quit on us." "Good for him. We'll just have to keep in touch." "Well, what about ME?" I turned to face him, and reached for his hand. "Justin. You're a great singer. You'll find your place, trust me. You'll make it on your own." "What about you?" "Me?" I'd never really thought about what I was going to do. I'm a mooch. I live off JC and my parents. "I'll be Josh's muse. Help inspire him to write." I grinned at the thought. Muse. Sex. Mmm. "We're going to work on fixing our relationship. Be what we were before, but better." "I hope things go well for you guys." "Oh, they will. We're meant for eachother." Justin laughed, and then gave me a hug, remembering to hug lightly on my right side. "So, I'll call you when I get back from Florida?" "Sounds good. Have a good time, Just. I'll miss you." "I'll miss you too." I pulled him in for another hug, sort of a one armed one. "I'll see you when I get back.. Bye, Lance." "Bye, Justin." Footsteps left the couch, and the front door thudded. "Lance!?" JC's sweet voice called from the upstairs. "Yeah?" I yelled back. "Come up here, baby! Let's unpack!" With a knowing grin, and I started to head upstairs. I guess I learned my lesson. When somethings good, don't take it for granted. I've never been a good one with morals, and 'what we have learned today, children,' but for once, I understand. Anyway... Now comes the sex! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ End. Have a good day. :)