Date: Sun, 29 Dec 2002 17:32:25 -0500 From: Writer Boy Subject: rebound - part 16 Obligatory warnings and disclaimers: 1) If reading this is in any way illegal where you are or at your age, or you don't want to read about male/male relationships, go away. You shouldn't be here. 2) I don't know any of the celebrities in this story, and this story in no way is meant to imply anything about their sexualities, personalities, or anything else. This is a work of pure fiction. Questions and commentary can be sent to "writerboy69@hotmail.com". I enjoy constructive criticism, praise, and rational discussion. I do not enjoy flames, and will not tolerate them. That said, we now continue. *** April acted as if nothing at all was out of the ordinary as she walked into the loft, stepping over to Justin and wrapping her arms around him. He looked at me over her shoulder, his eyes peeking around the side of her brown hair, with a completely surprised and perplexed look on his face, like he knew who she was but couldn't place her in this context. I understood, since I wasn't expecting to see her, either. There was something else in his expression, though. He looked a little uncomfortable, and I realized that he was feeling a little uncertain now about he and I, knowing who April was to me. I understood that, too, since I'd been pretty uncertain about he and I all along. "Justin, I asked how your visit was going," April said, smiling, as she pulled back from him. "Cat got your tongue?" "It's, uh, fine," Justin answered, looking at me imploringly again as I shut the door. April followed his eyes, and then skipped back across the room to hug me. I stood woodenly, not rally responding, as she wrapped her arms around me, and she pulled back. "Chris?" she asked. She caught something hardening in my face. "You're not still mad about having to hang out with Justin, are you?" "When did you get back in?" I asked, stepping back, not answering her question. "My plane just landed," she answered carefully, her eyes darting back and forth between the two of us. Did she really, honestly think we wouldn't be mad that she had vanished for days and couldn't even be bothered to return a phone call? I knew she had a selfish streak sometimes, but the past few days just took the cake. "Chris?" "And how was Florida?" I asked sharply, crossing my arms. Something hurt flashed across Justin's face. "It must have been awful with the phones not working there all week." "OK, I see that you're mad that I didn't call," she began, holding up her hands. "But really, I can explain." "You were in Florida?" Justin asked, his voice rising. Oh, shit. "I flew all the way here, because I needed you, and you were in Florida? I could have gotten in my car and driven to wherever you were, and you never told me? How could you do that to me?" I was pissed, and I figured Justin would be mad that she hadn't called him, either, but I didn't expect this, and I should have. I was used to April sometimes being impulsively selfish, to her being interested only in getting her way. Justin wasn't used to that, and wasn't expecting it. He wasn't just mad. He was betrayed. "Justin, Chris was supposed to tell you," April began, turning toward me, but Justin was having none of it. His face flushed as he stepped toward her. "I needed you!" Justin yelled. April stepped back, and even I was surprised. Justin had such a temper sometimes. "I needed to talk to you, to someone who would understand, and you weren't here! Where were you?" "Justin, I," April began, her face blanching in shocked surprise. "I thought you were my friend!" Justin squeaked, his voice breaking. He turned away, swiping at his eyes with the back of his hand. "I thought you were my friend. I thought you understood. I thought you understood about my friends, what they mean to me. I thought you were my friend." "Justin," I said quietly, putting a hand on his shoulder. He was shaking, and April just watched. I bet in her mind she thought we'd just laugh about this, that we'd just chalk it up to April being April and that we'd move on, but she hadn't realized when she left how badly Justin was hurting. I wasn't sure if I wanted to slap JC, or Chris, or April, or if I just wanted everyone to get in a line somewhere in front of me so I could run down it with my palm out. "Calm down for a minute, please, ok?" "I'm sorry," Justin said quietly. He turned back around, his cheeks dry but his eyes glistening. I couldn't believe that I'd defused him so fast, and wondered if it had been my words, my touch, or both. April just continued to look surprised, her mouth hanging open, and she looked even more stunned when Justin turned to her. "I'm sorry I yelled at you. I just, I don't understand. I needed you, needed to talk to you, and you said you'd be here, and now Chris says you were in Florida the whole time? Why? Why did you do that to me?" "I'm sorry," April said, looking back and forth between the two of us. "Justin, I didn't, I don't know, I just thought that it was, you know, nothing big. I didn't know you were so upset. Chris didn't tell you where I was?" "I said you were out of town with Derek's mother," I said. "I don't think I ever said you were in Florida. Justin, I was trying to cover for April a little bit. I didn't think it would matter to you where she was." "It's ok," Justin said, shaking his head. "But I told you JC and I broke up. I told you. I needed to talk to you, needed to talk to someone who would understand and who I wouldn't have to explain it all to. Why did you leave?" We were still standing by the door, and I figured we needed to sit down and try to calm everyone a little. Sure, the voices were lower, but Justin was still upset, and April was finally starting to realize that she had really screwed up this time. My hand still on Justin's shoulder, I nudged him toward the living room, and he began to walk slowly. April noticed, her lips pressing into a line, but answered Justin's question instead of saying anything. "Justin, I don't mean this in a bad way," April began as we sat, she across from us and Justin and I sharing a couch. Justin reached out along the cushion for my hand and I let him take it, knowing he needed the support, even though I saw April staring at our linking fingers. She faltered for a second, frowning, but continued. "But you and JC break up a lot. You fight, you call me, and it's always the end of the world." Justin winced, squeezing my hand, and inhaled sharply. I was a little surprised, too. Was Chris right, after all? Was I Justin's new pawn in a game that had been playing for a while? April realized how she sounded, and doubled back a little before Justin could say anything. "I know the fighting hurts you, Justin," she said quickly, still staring at our hands. "I didn't mean for it to sound, you know, trivial, but you guys fight all the time. Once a week you have some horrible screaming match with JC, and yes, I do talk to you about it, but, honestly, Justin, how was I supposed to know this time was worse?" "I told you I broke up with him!" Justin said, shaking his head. "I thought you'd be here to listen to me, and instead you were just, you were. What were you doing? What were you doing for this whole week while you were gone?" "Justin, it wasn't a whole week," April said, squirming uncomfortably. "What were you doing?" Justin asked again. His voice was sharp, harsh even, in a way that I hadn't heard him use before. "What were you doing that was so important that you couldn't be here for me after you promised, promised me, that you would be?" "Justin, Derek's mother broke her foot," April began, but Justin cut her off. "And you sat in the hospital the entire time?" Justin asked. When he and I had argued, it had been very loud, and almost hysterical, with the screaming and the hand waving like a big gay catfight. This, though, was quieter, with Justin more direct. His eyes, for the first time since I'd met him, were completely closed off and unreadable, but his tone made it obvious that he was furious. "You stayed right by her bedside?" "No," April answered finally, looking down. "Look, Justin, I'm sorry, ok? I went to Florida with Derek for a little mini vacation, and it was really selfish, and I broke a promise to you, and all I can say is that I'm sorry. I can tell that you're pissed, and I know what promises mean to you, and how important they are. I wouldn't have done it if I knew that this time was so serious, but I really though I was leaving you in good hands with Chris. I thought that talking to him, to someone else who's gay, would be really good for you. I'm sorry I hurt you, Justin." "Why didn't you call me?" Justin asked, looking down. A little of the anger had drained out of him, but he was still holding my hand tightly. "I called you like ten times. Why didn't you call me?" "I was wondering about that, too," I added. My voice was level and neutral. I felt bad that April had to come out and admit she was wrong, even if I thought she needed to, but I also thought that Justin and I deserved to know why she couldn't pick up the phone at least once to call one of us back. "Both of us called you, April." April shifted on the couch, extremely uncomfortable now. I knew that I probably shouldn't help Justin put the screws to her, that it was basically ganging up on her, but I was pissed at her, too. She had screwed up, and had treated both of us rather cavalierly. I realized how old I sounded thinking about it, but she needed to take some responsibility for her actions. "I wanted to, um, I thought it would make you talk to Chris," she answered, looking at Justin. Her voice sounded brittle, and her eyes were ticking back and forth between the two of us. "I knew that you guys would like each other, but you're both just so damned stubborn, and then you both called, and I knew you just got off on the wrong foot. If I called, I thought that, well, that you guys would just whine to me, and I thought that if I didn't call back, it would make you talk to each other. I knew you could be friends, if you just, you know, if you both just got over it. And it worked, right? It all worked out for the best, didn't it? You guy are friends, just friends." Oh, shit. I seemed to be thinking "oh, shit" a lot lately, but I think that moment really did qualify. I heard what April was saying, but Justin didn't seem to catch it. "You just used us," Justin said flatly. He was still holding my hand, and I could feel him slumping weekly. "You pushed us around to make us do what you wanted us to do. That's not right. We're not your toys. We're not, I just, I can't believe you did that. I can't even yell at you. I don't know, I don't even know how I feel. I can't believe you could be so selfish, and that you lied to me this much, just so you could go to Florida." Justin stood and walked over to the kitchen, reaching into the cabinet for a glass and pulling the bottle of juice from the refrigerator. I could tell by the way he was holding himself, his spine ramrod straight, that he was hurt, but that he was trying to keep it inside, and that told me how much his friendship with April had been hurt. Justin wouldn't allow himself to feel hurt in front of her, and when he spoke again his voice was strained. "I would have flown you to Florida if you asked," he said, almost whispering as he poured himself a drink. "I would have done that for you, and you wouldn't have done this to me." "Justin, I know it was wrong, and I said I'm sorry," April said again. "I told you, I never meant to hurt you, and I know it was bad. I don't know how else I can apologize, but, you know, it all worked out, right? You guys are friends now, just friends. You're just friends, right? You guys?" Justin turned from the counter, ignoring April, his bright blue eyes finding me. He was waiting to see what I would say, waiting to see if I really did care about him the way I said I did. After he'd just been betrayed by April, I could see how he might be having some trust issues. Between April, and Chris, and all the rest of this, I thought I was having the longest day of my life. "Chris?" he asked quietly. I could see, even from the couch, that the juice in his glass was moving as his hand shook a little. "April, there's something Justin and I need to tell you," I began, watching the way she folded her arms. I wasn't telling her anything she didn't already know, even if she didn't want to admit it yet. "Justin and I have been doing a lot of talking this week. I guess, you know, that part of your plan worked out really well. We've, um, something happened at Justin's hotel, and Justin came to stay with me, here, and we got a lot, um, a lot closer." Justin walked over, standing behind my couch, watching April. I realized that I was a little nervous, and I reached up to find his hand near my shoulder. I threaded my fingers through Justin's again, reassured by his touch and hopefully reassuring him as well. I didn't want to hurt Justin, but I didn't want to hurt April, either. Or hurt myself. "Justin and I have, we found out that we have feelings for each other," I said finally. Justin squeezed my hand, and I glanced up to see him smile a little as he stared down at me. "Feelings," April repeatedly dully. "You have feelings. What kind of feelings?" "We, um," I began, faltering. Her eyes, her brown eyes that were just like Matt's, were glaring at me, drilling into mine. It was like Matthew himself was here, looking at me. "I care about Justin. I care about him a lot." "And I love Chris," Justin said simply, as if that was all there was to it. "We're together, April," I said, squeezing Justin's hand back. "Justin and I are together as of, um, well, as of today." April's face locked, sliding closed like a garage door. You could almost hear it clattering down as I watched her eyes water but her jaw set. Her hands clenched into fists as she continued glaring at me and at Justin as well, as if she couldn't decide who to be madder at. "You're together?" she asked icily. "You're a couple. You care about Justin. You love Chris." "April, I know it's a shock," I began, as Justin circled back around the couch to sit by me. "I mean, it was a shock for me, too, to feel this way, and to act on it." "To act on it?" April asked, standing, her voice suddenly shrill. "You acted on it? Did you fuck him?" Justin shrank back into the couch as she spat that at him. I stood, but she stood as well, mirroring me. "It's not like that," I said sharply. "It's not?" she asked, staring pointedly at my neck. Damn it. Had everyone seen those hickeys today? Why couldn't Justin keep his mouth to himself? "How could you do this? How could you do this to Matt? You've only known him for what? Four or five days? How could you just, just, with my friend?" "April, it's not like that," I said again, weakly. "It wasn't just, it kind of." "It just happened," Justin said, standing. "Neither one of us planned it, and Chris tried to fight it, April. It just, we did what felt right, and this is." "It didn't just happen!" April snapped at him. "You want to talk to me about friends? I can't believe you came here and, and just, just seduced my brother in law! What kind of a friend are you?" "Stop yelling at him," I said, stepping between them. "It wasn't all Justin, April. I told you, I care about him. I care about him very much. I still love Matt, too, I do, but this isn't about Matt." "Yes it is!" April said, almost in tears. "How could you do this? How could you do this to Matt? Don't you have any respect for him at all? For who he was? For what he meant to you? How could you just, just hop into bed with Justin? And here! Here, in the same bed, in the loft, in the store! Do they know?" "Yes," I answered. "Yes, Michelle and all the rest of them know, and they don't have a problem with it." "Well I do!" April said, turning. She stomped toward the door. "I do have a problem with you just throwing Matt away, like he didn't mean anything. I can't believe you'd do that, Chris. I thought you still loved Matt. You promised him that you'd love him forever. I'm just glad he's not here to see this." I slumped, feeling stabbed. I knew it was a low blow, I knew that she was shocked and hurt, but what she was saying was so close to what I'd been feeling all week. I felt everything welling up inside of me again, all the guilt and the pain and everything else, and then I felt Justin's chest against my back. I was leaning back on him, and he had his hands on my shoulders, steadying me. As fast as I'd felt guilt, I felt something else, too, and I called out to April's back as she walked toward the door. "You're right," I said, watching her jerk to a stop. "I did promise to love Matt forever, and I do. I also care about Justin. I care about him, April. It doesn't matter how long I've known him, or what I don't know. I care about him, and I'm with him. Matt isn't here to see this, but if Matt was here, this wouldn't have happened. This isn't cheating on Matthew, April." "It's not being faithful to him, either," April said, turning back to me. "This is wrong. This isn't what Matt would have wanted." "You don't know that," I said, shaking my head. Justin hung back, out of the family discussion. "You don't know what Matt would have wanted, and neither do I. I do know that Matt wanted me to be happy. Matt wanted me to be happy, and to feel loved." "He also wanted you to love him," April said stubbornly. "And I do love him, April," I said, shaking my head. "I still love Matt, but I can't spend the rest of my life grieving for him. I can't do that. It's not healthy, and it's not what Matt would want." April shook her head. "I don't want to talk about this anymore," she said, opening the door. "I'm going. You two, you do whatever the hell you want." I couldn't say anything else, and I didn't think I should stop her. I'd said everything I felt, to her, to Justin, to Chris, and to myself. I watched her leave, feeling Justin behind me, and I wondered if it was the last time I would see April for a while as the door closed loudly. I looked around, at the walls, at the pictures of Matt and I on the shelves, and I wondered again if what I was doing was wrong. It couldn't be, though. I couldn't mourn Matt by dying along with him, by refusing to live because he wasn't here. It wasn't right, and even if we didn't know exactly what Matt would have wanted, I knew he wouldn't want me to be alone. I turned and found Justin behind me, waiting, and I wrapped my arms around him, drawing him close to me. His strong arms folded around me as well, pulling me against his chest, letting my head tuck into the crook of his neck where it met his shoulder, and we both sighed. "It's ok," Justin murmured, holding onto me. "It's ok, Chris." "I know," I said, holding on. "Are you all right?" "Yeah," he answered, holding onto me. "Yeah, I think I'm ok. Are you? Do you want to talk about it?" "No," I answered, and felt him tense a little. I pulled back, not out of the hug, but just enough so that I could look up into his face, into those blue eyes again, seeing the concern there. "I mean, yes, I'm ok, and no, I don't want to talk about it. I told you before, I'm tired of talking for tonight." "OK," Justin said, nodding. "I'd rather do something else," I whispered, leaning forward to kiss him squarely on the mouth. Justin jumped a little, surprised, and then I felt him leaning into me, kissing me back. I hadn't taken the initiative yet, any of the times that we had done anything, and it caught him a little off guard. Based on the way he was attacking my mouth, though, my advance was certainly not unwelcome. Justin's tongue darted past my lips, pushing its way inside, pressing against my own as he let out a little whimper. I slid my hands up his back, feeling the swell of his breathing and the strength of his shoulders, and I let one trail up to rub the back of his head. Justin's famous buzz cut was starting to grow back in, and his hair was soft under my hands. Each time I touched him, cradling him, pulling his head closer to me, he let out a different noise, a whimper or a sigh, which I'd noticed the last time he and I had been together. It was a quirk, but an utterly attractive one, because it made me want to touch him more and more, to hear how else he would react. I pushed Justin back toward the living room, toward the couch facing us, and his feet shuffled backward as we continued kissing. When the back of his knees hit the couch, he started to sit, and I grabbed the bottom of his shirt, pulling it off as our faces pulled apart with a wet sucking sound. He wasn't wearing an undershirt, and I got to watch all of his muscles sliding and moving together as he lowered his arms, grabbing the front of my shirt and pulling me back down to him. I bypassed his mouth, dragging my face down the side of his jaw and along his neck, swiping my tongue over him. His pulse throbbed under my lips, and I scraped them over his collarbone, letting him feel a little tiny slide of teeth. He groaned, and his high pitched sighs changed to loud whimpers, almost pleading, as I fastened my mouth around one of his nipples. "Chris," Justin squealed, twisting, pushing himself back into the couch. "Oh, Chris, oh." He wasn't exactly verbose, but I could deal with it. I dragged my mouth across his chest, feeling the light dusting of hair scattered between his pecs with my tongue, feeling the bunched muscles just underneath the skin. I felt the vibration of his lungs and voicebox, and the low strong thump of his heart, beating in his chest beneath my mouth. His arms ran up and down my back, and he tugged lightly at my shirt. I leaned back, allowing him to pull it off, and then I dropped back down, closing my lips around the hard bud of his nipple. It was stiff, like the one I'd been working on, and each time I ran my tongue over it, teasing the rigid point with just the tip of my tongue, he let out another squealing noise of pleasure. His hands tangled in my hair now, gripping it, and he mashed my face to his chest as I drifted slowly back and forth from one nipple to the other. While he was distracted with that, I dropped my hands to his belt, unhooking it. Once I had it out of the way, I unbuttoned his pants, fighting with each one. Why couldn't he just have a zipper like normal people? He continued to sigh and whimper as I licked my way down his abs, circling his navel with my tongue as I spread the flaps of his jeans. His cock, covered in the white cotton of his briefs, throbbed in front of me, framed by the edges of his pants, and he let out a bellow as I dropped my mouth to it. I sucked at him through the briefs, feeling his hips rising as he pushed himself toward me. His cock was hard, straining against his plain shorts, and I let saliva wash out of my mouth, pressing it through the material and soaking him. "Chris," he panted, eyes closed, tossing his head from side to side, sucking in great gasps of breath and whimpering them back out again. "Chris, Chris." While he was distracted, I tugged his shoes off, tossing them aside. He was hot, with his tanned torso and straining muscles, the cords in his arms bunching as he let go of me and gripping the couch, fingers digging at the material. I looked at his cock, plainly visible through the wet briefs, the head dark pink, wide and spongy, capping his shaft. I'd touched it before, had it in my hands and used them to pleasure him, but I hadn't held it in my mouth yet. He'd done it to me, but I had yet to return the favor, and now I wanted to. As I continued to suck and chew at him through the material, I hooked my fingers into the waistband of his briefs, and rolled them along with his pants down his legs. He lifted up automatically, letting me slide them over the curve of his firm butt, and finally I had my boy naked and panting on the couch in front of me. His cock was throbbing, jutting out from his dark amber pubes, glistening with moisture. As I watched, leaning forward again, a bead of precum leaked out from the head, shining for a moment before it slid down his shaft, rolling past the ridge of his cockhead. Justin's eyes were open again above me, staring down, squinting and narrow, and his mouth had fallen open as well, his pink lips glistening with spit. His face looked needy, and wanting, and I let my breath fall over his cockhead as I paused, my open lips right above him. "Please," Justin whimpered, holding the cushions of the couch tightly. "Please, Chris." "Please what?" I asked, smirking. Sometimes it was fun to tease. "Please," Justin panted, apparently unable to say anything else. Maybe he was having a mental meltdown. "Please, Chris." "OK," I said, leaning forward. I let Justin's cockhead slide into my mouth and held it there, pursing my lips around it. It was big, like the rest of him, what you'd expect from someone with size thirteen shoes, but not so much so that I couldn't cope with it. As soon as my mouth closed around him, my tongue lapping at the sticky, salty fluid that continued to pulse put of him, he threw his head back, gasping for air. His fingers now twisted the couch in a white knuckled, frozen grip, and I was glad that they weren't still tangled in my hair, because he'd be ripping it out in clumps at this point. He was gasping again, letting out whimpers that were almost yelps, and I slowly swallowed his shaft, letting him push into my mouth. It had been a long time since I gave a blowjob, but, like riding a bike, it wasn't the kind of thing that you forgot how to do. "Chris, Chris," Justin panted, his voice breathy and insubstantial. My hands were on Justin's hips, holding onto him, and he let go of the couch, trailing his hands lightly up my arms. When they reached my shoulders, he kneaded them a little, but mostly just caressed them, stroking them over my skin. Contrary to my brief fears, his touch was light, caring, and his hands crawled over me to nestle in my hair as he began to thrust lightly into my mouth. I gripped his hips, sliding my hands under him, and grabbed his clenching ass, pulling him into me as I jammed my face down on him. I bobbed quickly, swallowing him over and over, washing my tongue up and down his shaft as it moved through the tight ring of my mouth. Above me, he continued to moan and whimper, and I looked up to see sweat breaking out on his forehead and glistening on his chest. We went on like that for a few more minutes, but Justin was too worked up to hold out for longer than that. Before I knew it he was thrusting into my mouth hard, all of his muscles locked and rippled as he panted my name and gasped for air, and then I felt him tense. His knees, on either side of my shoulders, squeezed together so hard I thought he might crush me, and he gasped my name again as he shot into my mouth. I swallowed, hard, trying to keep up with him, but some of it still leaked out, a hot thin trickle running down the side of my chin. I pulled slowly off of him, sucking lightly, making sure he was clean, and when his cock finally popped out of my mouth I gave the head a soft kiss as it smacked down onto his abs. Even that light touch was enough to make him squeal again, but it was softer, less urgent, and his eyes opened lazily as I raised myself up above him, my hands on either side of his shoulders. He leaned forward, and I thought he was going to kiss me, but instead he ran his tongue up the side of my face, licking up that thin stream of his own cum before he settled his lips onto mine. I kissed him, not the bruisingly hard ones we sometimes had, and when we pulled apart he smiled at me, his hands on my back. "Chris," he whispered, his hands on the sides of my head, holding it in front of him. "Yes?" I asked, waiting to see if he was going to say something or if he was still locked into only being able to pant my name. "Please," he began, repeating it again. "Take me into the bedroom and make love to me. Please?" "Sure," I answered, kissing him again. I took his hand, pulling him up off the couch, and he stepped out of his jeans and briefs before he followed me toward the bedroom. When we got there, he undid my belt and helped me out of my pants as well, stopping frequently to kiss me on the mouth, or the chest, or the cock. When we were both naked, I laid him down on the bed, and he watched me quietly as I went to the dresser for the lube from the other night. Justin had added a pile of condoms, throwing them in there, when he'd unpacked his suitcases finally, and I fished one out. Turning back to the bed, I saw him spread out before me and sucked in a sharp breath at seeing him like that, seeing his tanned body contrasting against the bright white sheets. I took Justin from behind, my chest scraping his back, my mouth crawling over his shoulders as my hips drove me into him. He writhed under me, twisting the sheets, before I slid my hands down the tops of his arms to lock my fingers through his. Before it was done, he came again, all over the sheets, panting my name, and when I finally finished I collapsed on top of him, totally spent, letting him wriggle out from under me. He cleaned us up with some tissues, and did his best to mop up the wet spot before kissing me and folding himself around me. The two of us drifted off the sleep together, resting against each other, able, for the first time all day, to forget everyone around us and just concentrate on each other, pretending that no one else mattered. Too bad it couldn't last. *** To be continued.