Chapter 10

EMAIL ME!!! pseud0nym@edsamail.com.ph

"Do you know that it's impolite to enter a room without knocking?" Nick said with irritation in his voice. I was rendered speechless. My mouth was still hanging with what I saw. I just never expected it. Wait, actually I have thought about it earlier. I just didn't thought that they'll be at it this quick. 

I have no idea what's happening with Brian. I couldn't process anything at that moment. It was too shocking. "Say something!" Justin shook me trying to snap me out of my little moment. His eyes were showing worry. But the scene just replayed in my mind. Justin and Nick were sitting on the couch making out like there is no tomorrow.

"Congratulations?" I said in small voice. The two were grinning like crazy and held hands. "So I guess this means that you're a couple?" I asked rhetorically. Why did I ask that? That is so dumb.

"Duh!" Nick said. I saw that coming but nevertheless, it was good to see them finally happy and for a selfish reason as well. I now know that Brian is all mine... no more single best friend with a hidden crush on him. Oh wait, what on earth is Brian thinking with this new revelation? He was very silent in all that was happening, I think coz I was way out of it.

When I looked at Brian, he was also grinning and a look of relief came to his face. Do I sense that he was having the same feeling with my friendship with Justin? Well, it does make sense and everything. All is in good shape.

"Come on Marty, let's leave these two lovebirds alone. I think they were interrupted earlier." Brian said dragging me out of the door while the two looked at each other shyly blushing. Ah! Young love. I feel so old in this love thing. And I never thought that Brian would be so supportive with their relationship especially with his hesitant answers earlier. 

I looked back at the two who was walking back to the sofa to prolly continue the interrupted important session that was going on. "For the record, we knocked on your door. You were just too distracted." I said as I closed the door. Brian laughed at that but I didn't catch Justin and Nick's reaction.

We walked to our room holding hands. It was very much comforting holding hands with the person you love. It's this kind of moment that I enjoy the most. There was no hiding from the inquisitive press or to those 14-year-old Brian's wife wannabes. "I told you they would make a good couple." I said to Brian as he tried to open the door.

"Yeah yeah. As usual, you're right." Brian sighed out. We did our routine and just settled on the bed snuggling. I wasn't tired yet. It was a good day actually even though it was tiring as hell. It must be around 2 am already.

"Marty, do you love me?" Brian asked me out of nowhere. What on earth brought this about? This is so weird of Brian. I looked at Brian and he was just staring at me. I was trying to read him through his eyes and what I saw was love and a tinge of fear.

"Of course sweetie. I love you very much." I said to Brian truthfully. Brian smiled at me warmly and he averted his gaze away from me. "What's wrong Bri? You can tell me anything." I said.

"Everything is perfect. I'm just so amazed with you and wondering how I could be a lover of a man who is so perfect." Brian said to me while playing with my hair. Me? Perfect?

"Bri, I am not perfect. Not in a long shot. I have many demons that I'm facing inside and I do commit mistakes, lots of mistakes. And don't ever think that I'm greater than you because I find you as an equal. We have our shares of blunders and good stuff and those are the things that make us unique and love each other more." I looked at him again. Now, he was looking at me as well.

"You know, you haven't told me anything about what happened before we met." Brian said to me. I immediately tensed. Am I ready to tell him everything that has happened in my most miserable time of my life? I haven't told anyone fully what happened then. Not even Richard knows the whole story. "Don't think that I'm forcing this on you. Take your time if you're not ready." Brian rubbed my back trying to comfort me. He prolly felt the change. But I have to this sooner of later and NOW is always that right time or I'll just procrastinate this again.

"Don't worry Bri. One way or another, I have to spill everything to you and I think I can manage to tell you what happened then." I said to Brian. "I live originally in California with my family. There's my mom, Nina, my dad, Charles, and my younger brother, Alex. You might say that we were very much happy living together coz there were no problems with us. Money wasn't a problem in our case and my parents were always there when we needed them.

"I myself was very much satisfied with my life. I have tons of friends from school and almost everything. Almost because I know there was something off about me. I knew that I was gay. I think I have always known that I wasn't attracted to girls since forever. I was already 18 then when I decided to tell the family that I'm gay. Alex accepted it and fully supported me and said that he'll always love me but my parents were a different case. My mom was going in hysterics and the most frightening part was that my dad wasn't reacting to anything. I locked myself into my room and the next thing I knew was that my brother told me that they wanted me out of the house. I was thinking that why is this supposed to happen?" I was also bawling in the hotel room. Brian was hugging me tightly and trying to sooth me with his words but this has to be brought out. 

"So I left. I have no idea where I would go at that time. I slept on the streets for 3 days not knowing where I could go. It was one of the most difficult experiences of my life and I won't forget that. An old lady rescued me from the streets. She was so good to me and treated me as her own. But I know I couldn't live there myself. She was struggling just to put food on the table and with me there, I know that it was tougher for her. I called the person whom I know could understand me the best, my grandmother, Tina." I paused reminiscing the vivid picture of Grandma in my mind. She was a very cool grandmother and prolly one of the best friends I had in my life. "Without a doubt, she took me in. I told her beforehand that I was gay and she didn't bat an eye. It's like, 'So? Do I care?'. From then, I entered college through her help but that didn't last long because she died after a year due to a massive heart attack. Again, my life turned upside down and this was worse than before because there wasn't any Grandma that could save me, it was just me." I never remembered anything from the funeral even if I was there. I guess I wasn't really myself when the funeral took place.

"Can you still go on or do you wanna rest?" Brian said to me. I think I saw a tinge of pity in his eyes.

"I'll finish this." I said to him leaving no room for arguments. "That's where Rich tried to put everything on his own hands. I've known Rich before everything and he's the first I guy I came out to. He is also the one who stood by me in my depression phase. He brought me to parties and even used drastic measures to cheer me up by making a fool of himself already. It was a difficult time and the college pressure was too much. I snapped. I withdrew from everything in my life and reinvented myself. And that's where the geeky guy came from. I graduated with my two degrees but I didn't pursue any of the careers at hand and just stayed in the small café. And I met you that changed me back." I concluded my story with a smile in my face. Brian kissed the top of my head.

"Why did you change back?" Brian asked weakly. I paused thinking of the best and most honest answer for his question. "You don't have to answer if that's intruding too much." Brian said noticing the silence.

"Bri, my story is for you to hear. My life is yours. There's no such thing as intruding too much here. I was just trying to place into words how important you are in my life. I guess that's it. I found something or someone to live for. I've been in so much misery for ages and I think I deserve a little happiness in my life. You are my joy and my rock." I said to him as I stared straight at his soul. Tears were streaming down his cheeks. I never imagined that it would affect him this much.

"I love you so much." Brian said as he embraced me like I was his lifeline. Prolly I was for him but surely Brian is my lifeline. I have no idea what would happen if he's not with me anymore. Erase that thought. I looked at the two blue spheres that Brian possesses and got lost in it. I kissed Brian as passionate as possible. I needed reassurance that Brian was indeed there for me and not just a figment of my wild imagination. 

"Let's rest. I know that your lil storytelling drained you plus our little trek earlier. Hell, I'm tired myself." Brian said. I couldn't have placed it better myself. I snuggled closer to Brian and off I slept.

The sun's rays were hitting my face. And that wasn't a good thing to sleep with. I tried to move but there was this big mass of weight on top of me. Brian. And something hard poking me at my thigh. Brian... again. I tried my best to push him to the bed and away from the 'Marty bed' because I really have to take a piss. I was successful on pushing him over and he didn't even wake up. Pop stars and sleep.

I rushed to the comfort room and eased the tightness in my bladder. After that soothing thing, I walked to the mirror and gazed at myself. I looked at myself. It was all me there on the mirror. The same brown hair was there. The same blue eyes were there. Actually, the same me was there but why do I get the feeling that I'm different. It's like something heavy was lifted from my back.

Then I remembered last night. It was really stressful but it was all worth it. I guess that me sharing my past to Brian was something that has caused the change. I have no more secrets. Oops... I mean fewer secrets that I have but sooner or later, I would tell Brian all of my secrets.

"Marty?" A voice broke my little reverie. I guess my Brian just woke up. I walked back to the bedroom to see my beloved.

"Hi sweetie! Just took a piss there." I said to Brian as I approached him and kissed him at the lips. "Good morning." I said to him chirpily.

"Someone's happy." Brian said. I just nodded profusely agreeing with him. I was really happy. "I guess we don't have much to do today right?" Brian inquired. Are they doing anything this morning? Nope I don't think so. So I nodded. "Nice, then we can have a nice long bath." I raised my eyebrow when he said 'we'. It would be our first bath together. Strange because we've been a couple for weeks but we haven't even seen each other butt naked. This is gonna be good.

The next thing I know was that the two of us were stripping the little attire we have from sleeping. I from a shirt and a pair of boxers and Brian from a wifebeater and boxers as well. I have seen Brian's scar many times already and every time I see that little incision on his chest. I just feel so down. It was like before everything, I could have lost Brian. Change of topic. Too sad for a perfect day. Then, we were buck-naked. The beautiful form that Brian possesses mesmerized me. It wasn't like those body-builders or even Kevin's but it was firm and toned. I would say... just right. And it's not that small either... also, just right.

"Wow, you're beautiful. You should flaunt your body more. It's very good." Brian complimented. I haven't been working out for years and that was so nice to hear. Or is he just biased? Anyway, like I said earlier, I need a workout and I need it fast or I wouldn't keep up with all of these hyper pop stars. I blushed at his little compliment.

"You're more gorgeous." I said to him softly.

We held hands and walked inside the bathroom. The door closed behind us. It was just Brian and me inside the little bathroom in nude. I twisted the knob for the shower and adjusted it for the right temperature. You know, not too cold and not too hot. I looked at Brian looking at me intently. I reached out my hand and he took it. I pulled him under the spray of the water. We just stood there looking at each other while the water continued flowing down our body.

I took the soap and massaged Brian's chest. The suds were showing after a little rubbing and his nipples are standing straight. I mean also the muscle down there was also hard and standing, so to speak. I was nervous. This would be our very first intimate moment and I don't know what to do. "Just let the moment take us to whatever." Brian whispered to my ear as he took the soap from my hand and lathered it to my chest. This was such a wonderful experience. An experience that I can live with forever.

"Bri..." I moaned out. Brian's lips pressed into mine. It was pure passion that was driving us to whatever we were doing. I opened my mouth and welcomed his frisky tongue. Brian was rubbing my back with the soap and it was really soothing and amazing. I groaned. My hands were trekking around his body. It was like I was trying to memorize every contour, scar... I mean everything about Brian. It started on his neck then to his chest and his scar. I could feel the beat of his heart behind the scar. He's alive and that's what's important. My hand trailed down to his stomach. It was not too hard and not too soft... just right. My hands were trembling at the moment coz I knew that inches away was his manhood. 

I gathered all the strength in me and touched it for the very first time. I could feel the heat emanating from the purplish head of Brian's penis. The head was soft but underneath it was his hard rock shaft. I have no idea what is the length of his phallus but I think that we have the same size. I began to rub the shaft. Brian moaned. The only encouragement I need to go on. My hand went up and down his shaft trying to bring him the carnal pleasure I could give him. 

The words of Brian just kept me focused. Those short "Marty...", "I love you baby" and so on kept me from not chickening out but gave me the courage to go on to the next step. 

I knelt down to the point that his dick was in front of my face. I stared at it closely trying to take a picture of it in my mind. I looked at Brian eyes closed. My mouth inched closer to the head of Brian's penis and licked it. It throbbed and a gasp escaped Brian's mouth. Brian's penis went deeper and deeper in my mouth until it reached the gagging point and I withdrew a little to take it deeper again. "Oh my God!" Brian cried out. I bobbed slowly trying to savor the unique taste of Brian's penis and the clear precum that was oozing out of Brian's dick. "I love you Marty." Brian moaned as he held my head stroking it. I moved quicker and quicker until I could feel his muscles tensed. "I'm cumming Marty." Brian cried out and I tried to swallow all the shots of cum his dick was ejaculating. 

The taste was different but I was loving every drop of it because it was Brian's. Cheesy as it sounds, Brian is the most delicious ever. I continued to suck Brian until his penis went limp. I pulled away from his penis and he helped me stand up. Brian looked at me with the afterglow evident on his face. "Thank you." Brian said and kissed me. We broke the kiss and we finished our bath with his protests because he kept on saying that he wanted his turn but I kept telling him that we can do it next time. 

We dried each other and walked to our bedroom. "You owe me." Brian pouted. I just smiled at him and looked for an appropriate attire for myself. Once satisfied of my choice, I looked back at Brian who didn't budge from the edge of the bed and has the cute pout.

"Bri, we'll do it later." I said to him and kissed his pouted lips. At first he was responding but when I let my tongue touch his lips, he welcomed it wholeheartedly. "I promise later." I said and wore my clothes welcoming the new day.

We walked towards Kevin's room to have breakfast and really see what's gonna happen with the day. All we know that we aren't busy. That's it. Kevin is still the schedule master. We walked in the room and saw the five eating breakfast. My attention went to Nick and Justin who were feeding each other. "Look at the two. They're worse than us." I whispered to Brian who bellowed in laughter that made the five guys in the room snap their attention to us. I just used my innocent look and walked inside.

Brian and I sat first in the loveseat with no apparent reason. It just sounds so comforting at the moment. "Oh. My. God." AJ shouted breaking the peace of the room. We all looked at AJ who was staring at Brian. I looked at Brian quizzically. What on earth was that? "Someone got lucky." AJ said with a grin. My eyes bugged out hearing AJ's words and when I looked back at Brian, he was blushing like hell. Guilty as charged. How on earth did he know that?

The others were grinning now while looking at us with mischief in their eyes. "There's breakfast." I said weakly trying to break the attention they were giving us. I am so embarrassed. I don't think it's gonna work coz their grin got bigger. "Okay. Brian was the one." I said out of exasperation that made Brian's mouth drop. "What? It's the truth!" I said to him. The others were rolling in laughter.

I pulled him out of our comfortable position and walked to the cart to finally eat. "I'm so hungry." Brian said to me. The others snickered. Why? Then it hit me. 

"Pull your head out of the gutter." I said to them in a serious tone. But I know I couldn't hold it and a smile traced my face. I just shrugged it and waited for my boyfriend to finally stop putting MORE food on my plate while lecturing how food was important for a person.

"Yeah, you need the energy." Justin chimed in that made me groan and blush. This is gonna be a long day. Is it 'Brian/Marty-bash' day?

"I think you know that the best sweet lips." I shot back to Justin with a very irritating smile on my face. You know that smile that is so fake. Justin just looked at me with a shocked expression and the others laughing with my comeback. "Thank you very much." I said bowing.

Brian and I returned to our spot to start eating this pile of food, and when I say pile, it is a big pile. "What's on the agenda for the day?" Brian inquired Kevin while shoveling a spoonful of bacon in his mouth. Kevin took out his palmtop and looked at our schedule. 

"Not to busy. Just a magazine interview later at 3pm in my room and then we prepare for the move to next venue tomorrow." Kevin said. It's really not busy. Thank God. Then, by some accident of fate, Bill entered the room. Bill stared at me that could kill. "What is it, Bill?" Kevin asked Bill.

"Nothing much. I just wanna talk to Mr. Johnson here." Bill said with a smile. Smile? That's the worst smile in the world. So fake.

"What is it?" I asked Bill while thinking of how to fit the remaining bits of food in my stomach.

"I have talked to your lawyer, Tom Pears. Just wanna double check it." Bill told me. The others frowned wondering prolly why on earth I have a lawyer. Double check it?

"Everything that happens to me is being noted by Tom. So what he says is what is true to me. No more, no less." I told him with the last words with a hint of sarcasm. Sarcasm. I haven't used that since... I have no idea. Too long already.

Bill eyed me not believing what I said. "What he said was just so unbelievable." Bill said to me. Now, I was deeply insulted. I'm trying to control my temper and I knew that Brian was trying to keep it cool as well with the tightness of his grip on my hand.

"What is exactly that he said that is SO unbelievable?" I said sardonically. I was giving him the death stare and I hope that he gets the message because I was so near of being ticked off with his smug attitude.

"You have lots of assets and everything. It's just so unlikely for you to work for this tour and having Brian as a boyfriend." I think Bill doesn't really like his job in this tour. Now, I was ticked off with the boyfriend comment.

"I'm here because I was offered a job. Even if I'm the fuckin' richest man in the world if I want to work in this tour, I will. And what on earth is wrong with me being Brian's boyfriend?" I shouted at Bill. "Do you think that I was just attached with Brian because of his money. For fuck's sake! Of course not!" I told him bluntly. The others were eyeing Bill so badly. I think that's enough... not. "And Bill, don't cross my path coz I could inflict pain with just one call. Believe me." I said to him seriously. I think that's it. 

Bill looked so scared with my little threat and walked out of the room hurriedly. "He didn't even say goodbye." AJ said sarcastically. That just broke it. We were laughing after that.

"What on earth was Bill talking about with the assets and everything?" Nick asked me curiously. I guess they deserve to know. I sighed thinking of how to say it.

"Well, when my grandma died she gave made me the heir of everything she owed. And she wasn't that normal coz she's very rich." I told them a bit of my past. I know they're gonna bug me about my threat. "And with my little threat there. Well, let's just say that my grandma had lots of connections that she passed to me as well." I explained. They just 'ooh' and 'aah' with my little explanation.

"Marty, what are we gonna do for the rest of the day?" Justin asked. I saw the sudden hurt expression in Nick. I guess Justin sensed it as well. "Nicky, I can't be seen by the reporters here. It's just too much for the time being and even my buddies back home don't know that I'm here." Justin tried to explain. Nick agreed but I know that he was really hurt. 

"It's just 11am now. How about we go shop?" I asked Justin. Justin's face just lit up with the word shop. Another shopping freak. Nick was pouting because I know how he loves shopping and he can't go. The others were groaning with it. "What? Shopping is a very important task in life." I said to them that made them burst into fits of laughter.

"Come on Marty! The mall waits." Justin said excitedly and we went off after a short goodbye to the guys and a little cooing of Justin to Nick. I guess our shopping adventure was pretty similar to Nick. We raided each mall but the difference is that Justin was really helping me with the outfits. He really has a good fashion sense and what he suggests are pretty wild but it was good... really good. Brian did suggest that I show my body more right?

We were in the A&F store when his celfone rang. Justin answered it and from what I saw, I think it's not good. Justin's high suddenly dropped once he said hello to the phone. My wild guess is that it's JC. I walked him to one of the fitting rooms so that in case there would be a scene like a shouting match of something.

"Jayce, I am okay now... Do you really think that I would just lock myself in a room and pity myself coz you left me? I guess you don't me too well..." With what I'm seeing, I guess Justin has indeed moved on from his relationship with Josh. "You know what? Fuck you! I'll just see you in the next tour." Justin said and ended his call. Justin sighed and looked at me with a weak smile.

"So? What does he want now?" I asked him.

"Well, he was checking on me because he feels SO guilty that he left me. He thinks that I would be wreck." Justin said mockingly. I think it's okay for him to have moved on but I see that the relationship that he shares with Josh has been ruined... badly.

"Just, he still cares for you. I know you broke up badly but always remember the years you spent being friends. Don't let this get in the way of your friendship, okay?" I said rubbing his shoulders. Justin just smiled at me.

"I want to shop more and I saw this outfit which is so perfect for you." Justin said dragging me out of the dressing room. Here we go again.

The two of us returned to the hotel with loads of bags of different names. We were still in the lobby and with Justin's disguise; I know that it won't be too much of a problem. And who would expect a guy from NSYNC in the Backstreet Boys' camp right? I called Brian while I told Justin to call Nick so they could help us bringing all of the stuff. After a few minutes, they were down with Nick sporting a big smile and staring at our bags.

"What did you buy for me?" Nick said excitedly.

"Let's get this all up first or your fans will eat us alive." I said to both of them hurrying them to enter the elevator. Once inside the elevator, which was so filled with bags, I gave Brian a kiss. "I bought you lots of things." I said to Brian and he smiled weakly. Something is wrong again. I could feel it.

Brian and I walked to our room carrying all of the bags I have bought. Once inside the room, I started to inquire. "What's wrong Bri?" I asked him worriedly. Brian was fidgeting and it seemed that he was nervous.

"You know, you should watch what you're buying. This is too much." Brian said. I know this wasn't it but I'll answer this for now.

"Don't worry about it. My accountant always takes note of everything. And, I still have lots of investments so this isn't too much." I said to him reassuring that it wasn't a problem. "Now, tell me the REAL problem." I said to him with a smile. Brian smiled weakly again.

"Well, I told my parents about being gay. They were okay about it." Brian uttered. That totally calmed me but I know that there's a next or Brian wouldn't be glum. "And I told them about you." Brian said that made me nervous as well. "They want to see you." Brian said with a smile.

"Oh. My. God. What am I gonna do? Where? When?" I was hyperventilating already. This wasn't the problem I was expecting. It's too much. Parents of Brian and me. What if they don't like me? What if they want me to break up with Brian?

"Calm down. We'll see them together in two weeks time during our break okay?" Brian said calming me. Two weeks. Thank God. "Come on. Let's go to bed, show me what you bought tomorrow and you did promise." Brian said with a grin. How could you resist that?

EMAIL ME!!! pseud0nym@edsamail.com.ph