Chapter 14

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After the few words that came out of Justin's mouth, an uncomfortable silence enveloped the room. It seemed that time stood still. No one wants to open their mouths to say something. It was like they froze in a reaction with their mouths opened. Justin just sat beside Nick quietly trying to draw some strength. Nick was holding his hand tightly. It was a sight to behold between Nick and Justin. They were truly in love. Love.

"Since when?" Lance decided to broke the silence enveloping the room. Even when the silence was broken, the tension among the NSYNC members could be felt. Lance was just looking at Justin intently. If this goes on, Justin could have grown a hole somewhere. I have no idea what's going on in their minds but I just hope that everything won't be in chaos.

"Me being gay or me being with Nick?" Justin asked. What on earth was that? Is he acting stupid or what? 

"Both." Lance answered icily. Uh-oh. Do I smell trouble brewing here? I hope that they won't argue about this. That's the last thing I want to see, hostility among a group of friends.

"Well, I've known that I was gay even before NSYNC. I think it was in the MMC days, but I'm not that sure. I just didn't show it to y'all because I thought that it wasn't that important. JC and Martin know that I am gay though." Justin looked at JC. Would he spill it as well? Will he confess that he's gay as well? "And I'm just with Nick a few weeks back." Justin said squeezing Nick's hand. They looked at each other lovingly and smiled. Love. 

"Why didn't you tell us?" Chris asked. I couldn't sense if there's any hurt there. Justin didn't answer. I think it's time for me to intervene.

"Excuse me. Well, I just wanna share what I think about this knowing Justin for so long." I paused looking for any acknowledgement. Chris just nodded. "Even though that I've just met Justin personally a few weeks back when a very saddening thing happened to him." I looked at JC stealthily to see if he's gonna be affected. He was. I think he flinched when I said that. "Anyway, I think that it's a natural reaction for him to not tell y'all until when he's ready even though that I've told him to tell y'all lots of times." I eyed Justin. He just looked away. I hate to say I told you so... but I told you so. "He's afraid of your reaction because you are his family. He's just playing a lot of what if's in his mind and touring with all of you isn't helping." I finished.

"Is this the reason?" Joey asked Justin. I think it is the reason because this was already raised in our chats a lot of times even if I didn't know that it is the Justin Timberlake.

"Yeah. I was just thinking that y'all prolly would hate me when you discover that I am gay. I just can't accept a rejection. That's the most painful thing for me." Justin said. Again, I subtly averted my eyes on JC. He flinched again. I guess he's feeling it now.

"You know, I don't think that the issue here is you being gay. I think the thing that we are pissed off is that you couldn't trust us. We've been together for years now and you think that you couldn't trust the 3 of us? And why must JC know and we don't?" Chris asked. They are really evil in this. I mean I don't know if JC is ready to come out to them but if I were Joshua, I would.

"Well, JC has been very close to me and he's..." Justin was stumbling with words. It's really difficult to conceal a truth to your friends.

"Because I'm gay as well and Justin was my boyfriend." JC said out of nowhere. This is very interesting now. Justin was shocked that JC came out. Nick was looking at Justin and JC, shocked as well. The other three were shocked as well.

"You two were boyfriends?" Lance gulped. The two just nodded shyly. "What has the world become?" Lance said rhetorically. Someone decided to knock on the door.

"Come in." I said. The door opened and Mel, their publicist peered in with a big smile on her face. I've seen her before and she's so cheerful every time I see her.

"Guys, we have to go to your hotel now. The limo is waiting." She said and closed the door again. The others rummaged for their things and placed it in their knapsacks. Then they filed out of the room. I walked to Justin and gave him a big hug.

"I'm so proud of you." I said to him. Justin smiled at me but I know that this drama isn't over. I could feel that there is some sort of a part 2 in the hotel... maybe even in the limo.

Once inside the limo, no one talked to each other. No small talks. Nothing. Only the hum of the car could be heard. Even Nick wasn't talking, he was just looking into space. I nudged at him and he looked at me quizzically.

"What's the matter?" I whispered to him.

"It just came as a surprise. I never thought that JC was his..." Nick trailed off.

"Shush! Don't dwell on the past. Just think that you are his boyfriend now. The past belongs to the past and you belong to the present and possibly the future." I assured him that Justin would be with him. I think he's jealous or something. Probably, insecurity... same as Brian's problem. 

Nick nodded and smiled. He reached out for Justin's hand and gave it a squeeze reassuring that he is behind Justin all the time. Justin smiled at him and lay on his chest until we reach the hotel. I was observing how the others would react in this act of affection. JC averted his gaze to the streets. Joey was looking at Justin and Nick with a grin. Lance decided to pull out his phone and call someone. Chris was dozing off.

The limo stopped. We have reached the hotel. I looked at Justin who was already sleeping peacefully on Nick's chest while Nick was stroking the curly hair of Justin that has already grown a bit. "Just carry him. Today is too much for him already with all the drama. And he looks so peaceful like that." I said to Nick who nodded happily. The others filed out of the limo and left the three of us. Is it just they are tired or is it that they have a problem? "Nick, go ahead. I'm going to the bar. This day is just so tensed. I need to wind down." I said to Nick and walked to the bar leaving the two still inside the limo.

I sat on one of the stools and ordered a drink for myself. I was rubbing my temples while waiting for my drink. It was really one heck of a day. First, I was dragged out of my solitary confinement in my house, then I meet NSYNC and being part of the drama among them. I should have stayed in bed. The bartender gave me my drink and I drink it very slowly until I feel sleepy.

"Can I join?" Someone asked beside me. I looked at the source of the voice... it was JC. I just nodded and sipped on my drink. He ordered his drink when the bartender passed by. "So, you are the guy that Justin told me about." JC told me. Again, I nodded. "I guess you really don't like me, huh?" JC asked again. Isn't he an annoying piece of thing?

"Yeah." I told him bluntly. "Can you give me a reason? Coz I can't find any logical reason why a person wouldn't want Justin. I think he's the sweetest person in the world, except my ex-boyfriend. And seeing Justin alone bawling in his house when you broke up with him isn't really helping." I told him. Come on JC. Answer me.

"Honestly, I still love him very deeply. I was surprised that he has moved on that fast." I froze. I didn't expect to hear that he still loves Justin. "I know you'd ask why I broke up with him. I made a mistake of sleeping with a guy when I got drunk and I thought that I don't deserve Justin's love." JC was in tears now. The cold front that I was showing was crumbling. I touched JC's shoulder and gave him a hug.

"I can't say that everything would be okay with all of you. Justin is still under a lot of pain from the break up. Try being honest with him, he deserves to know the complete truth." I said to him while still comforting him. I think that the people around us were already looking at us. "I think it's time for us to go up." I wiped away the tears from JC's flawless face. I paid for our drinks and we trekked to our rooms.

"Mart?" JC asked from his door. I looked at him. "Can you stay with me for the night? I really need someone right now." JC pleaded. 

"Sure." I closed the door again and walked to JC's. His room was similar to mine except that it was a little untidy. What's with pop stars' rooms? I closed the door behind me and walked to the bed. JC was stripping and honestly, I was attracted to JC. Maybe not to the same level as my attraction with Brian but I think this would do. I need someone right now.

I stripped to my boxers and laid on the bed beside JC. It was pitch-dark in the room. No light, but pure darkness around us. "Tell me your story." JC said to me as he nuzzled closer. Should I or shouldn't I?

"I broke up with my boyfriend because I think that it's for the best. We are in two different worlds and I don't think that he's ready to come out right now." I said to him trying to be inconspicuous as possible.

"Another famous pop star?" JC asked. I didn't answer. I don't want to lie to Josh but I think that he already knows. "You don't have to answer me. It's really painful to break up something wonderful especially if you still love the person. Every time I lay myself down on the bed, I always look back at that night I broke it off with Justin. It was the most painful thing that I have done in my whole life especially when I told him that I don't love him anymore." JC was crying at this point. I can just empathize with JC. The pain knowing that your love one is down and crying is because of you.

"Let's stop this drama. Let's just sleep and try to do this one day at a time." I said to JC. JC laid his head on my chest and I embraced him tighter to my body until I fell into sleep. It might not be Brian, but I think this is the next best thing.

It was one of the best sleeps I ever had in my whole life. Maybe it's the fact that I have someone lying beside me. Maybe it's the lips that are pressed to mine.

Wait a minute. Lips pressed to mine?

I opened my eyes but it was still pitch-dark. I have no idea what time is it but it must be around 3am. I tried to push the person kissing me. "What are you doing?" I asked pissed off once our lips parted. There was silence. I stood up and opened the lights. I gazed back to the person lying on the bed, JC. "Well?" I said to him.

"I dunno. It just happened." JC said. The moments when I was with JC flashed back to me. The extra friendliness he was showing to me when Justin introduced us. The extra effort of pulling me in the conversations. He is attracted to me. 

"Jayce, I don't think this is what we really want." I said to him knowingly. As far as I'm concern, I only want Brian. And knowing JC, it's just Justin.

"But we have to move on, Marty. I can't have Justin coz he's with Nick already. And you broke up with your boyfriend. We are single here. We aren't cheating here." JC said to me. I think it's more of a pleading than of explaining. But those words are shaking my resolve. "Can you give 'us' a chance?" JC said softly with a weak smile.

I still can't answer. I know for the fact that the relationships we were in are over. He's right. I am single. But the bad thing is that I still love Brian. "JC, I don't wanna hurt you by having a rebound relationship. Coz for me, I am still in love with my ex." I tried to explain my part.

"Mart, I'm not asking you to marry me. I'm just asking you to try a relationship with me. It might not last but I think we are entitled of trying it out." JC argued with me. He's good. JC does make sense. I turned around from him and closed the lights. My mind was still racing with different things, but I think I know my decision in this already.

I walked back to the bed and kissed JC. "Let's sleep." I said to him and hugged him closely to me. JC's hand snaked around my waist and that's how we slept. Intertwined together to a future filled with uncertainties. But like JC said, at least we are trying.



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