t h e R E F O R M A T I O N
If you are under 18 or not of legal age in your country, please don't read on. If you couldn't accept themes in the likes of homosexuality, please don't read on. This is a story concerning gay males having intimate relationships and is considered FOR ADULTS ONLY due to its sexual theme and contents. BUT if you really like this stuff, please don't tell others.
Everything in this story is purely FICTIONAL. Or it's not true!!! Even if this story involved the Backstreet Boys, NSYNC and a fictitious character, all that happens here is fictional... again, it's not true. I don't know anything about their sexuality, as far as the world knows, they're straight as an arrow so I dunno if they're gay (but I do have my speculations) or not but I wrote this out of freedom of speech and my love for these guys and slash fiction. I don't own or know the Backstreet Boys and NSYNC personally. I do know that Brian Littrell is married with Leighanne Wallace (rolls my eyes), Justin Timberlake is attached to Britney Spears, and JC Chasez has a girlfriend named Bobbee, so let's just assume that the aforementioned relationships doesn't exist. AGAIN, it's NOT TRUE!!! but don't we all hope that it's true... hehehehe...
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"Bri, lemme sleep some more." I said as I slapped the hand nudging me. Even though the bed wasn't comfortable, sleep is sleep. And I want more sleep.
"He's worse than JC." Someone chuckled. Wait a minute, that's not Brian. My mind began to start working. Brian is in Orlando and I'm sleeping in a bus. My eyes popped open and I saw Nick and Justin looking at me smiling.
"I heard that!" JC shouted from the kitchen. That made the two bursts into fits of laughter. It made me smile as well. I stretched my cramped body in the small bunk.
"Where are we?" I asked the two.
"Only 5 more minutes before the hotel. Lance thought that it's better to wake you up now than later." Nick said as he extended his hand helping me sit up. I guess I sat up too fast coz my head connected to the low 'ceiling' or whatever you call it. The point is that it hurts. "Ouch!" I squirmed in pain as I held my head trying to seize the throbbing that I was feeling.
"Not our fault. But we've been victimized by that as well." Justin said to me as he tried to stifle his laughter. I don't think he's doing a great job. I slipped out of the small cubicle still holding my aching head and headed to the kitchen to get some ice so that it won't swell that much.
Once I reached the kitchen, I heard the two laughing loud. I rolled my eyes. "What happened?" Josh asked. I pointed to my head and it's like he realized it already. "There's ice in the freezer." He said pointing to it.
"The Backstreet bus has a higher ceiling." I mumbled to myself as I placed the ice on my head. I sat beside JC who was eating a sandwich. He offered me a bite and I accepted happily. It was peanut butter and jelly. Good enough. "So are you gonna tell me what's going on with you three?" I asked him as I returned the sandwich.
JC looked at me nervously. "Um, I think it's best if the three of us are the ones who are gonna tell you when we are ready." He said apprehensively and he took off. So I was left alone in the kitchen of the bus. I scared Lance already yesterday and now Josh. I think he's gonna share this to Nick and Justin and they would avoid me as well. Oh well.
The bus went into a stop. I guess we are in the hotel. I walked to my bunk and took my things. Lance, Nick, JC and Justin went ahead of me so I was left with Joey and Chris. "I have no idea why they are such in a hurry to go up." Joey said to me scratching his head.
"I do." I said as I walked beside them. Chris and Joey looked at me waiting for the answer. "But I won't tell you." I said with a goofy grin pasted on my face.
"What's the point of telling that you know and then you won't gonna tell." Chris pouted. It was so cute of him but not cute enough for me to spill everything.
"They might tell you in the future. Be more observant and you'll see." I said with a wink. The two were left in confusion. I think they'll pick it up sooner or later.
"Tease." Joey said childishly. I just laughed at him.
Once inside the room, I left my luggage by my bed and stripped off my clothes. I guess I'm really tired because when I laid my body to the soft and very comfortable bed, I dozed off to sleep immediately.
The phone started to ring. Who would call in the ungodly hour? My hand crept to the handset and placed it near my ear. "This is your wake-up call." A chirpy girl said. I hanged up the phone. Why do they have to be so happy in the morning? I dragged myself to the bathroom and did my business... that means taking a piss and removing the sands from my eyes. I looked at my reflection. "I'm thin. Brian's not gonna like this. He's gonna smother me again." I said thinking at how Brian mother hen me almost every time. Some of the things that I miss about Brian.
What the heck! I took my phone and dialed his. "Hi!" I said to him.
"Hi yourself." Brian answered.
"I'll be back tomorrow." I informed him. I picked a wifebeater and a pair of shorts. I'm just going for breakfast in whoever's room.
"Really?" Brian said excitedly. "Do you want me to pick you up?" Brian asked me. That's a very good offer but I don't think that's good yet.
"Nah! I'm with Nick anyway with the guys so we'll just gonna be together when we go there." I said to him. "Bri, like I said yesterday, I'm not sure if there's gonna be an 'us' again. I'm thinking hard about it."
"What's so hard to think about? Isn't it enough that we love each other?" Brian asked. I guess he really hates our situation. I can sense a little bit of irritation in his voice.
"Bri, there are lots of things that we have to consider. Backstreet, your fans, your family and many more." I said to him as I slipped on the pair of shorts. "I'll call you later. I'll just have breakfast with the guys, okay?" I told him trying to end the call.
"Okay fine. Love ya." He said and I replaced the handset. I sighed. Maybe the guys would be a big help. If Lance is the 'Kevin' of this group, breakfast must be there as well. But where on earth is Lance's room? I walked out of my room and looked left and right. I don't wanna knock at each door and ask where so I decided to get my own breakfast and see the scenery wherever I am at the moment. I took a button shirt but left it unbuttoned. Mobile phone, checked. Keys, checked. Wallet, checked. I guess I'm ready.
I walked to the elevator and waited til it reached the first floor. I'm really hungry. Where on earth will I eat? I walked to the front desk and saw the receptionist scribbling something. "Excuse me, just wanna ask where I can get a good breakfast here?" I asked her politely with a smile.
She smiled at me wider. "Um, check the café a block away. I love to go there and they serve a very good omelet." She said to me. I thanked her and walked to the place she's talking about. It wasn't so hard to find because it's the only establishment that sells food in that block.
I went inside and sat on a booth. There weren't too many people eating. I think that's good. A petite lady prolly in her late 30s approached me. "Gonna order now?" She asked.
"Yeah. I heard that the omelet is good so I'll have that and a cup of coffee please." I said to her politely. I even added a smile. But did she appreciate that? No. She just rolled her eyes and left me. Maybe it's the time or she's having a PMS or something.
The good thing is that service was quick coz she returned with my cup of coffee and omelet after a few minutes. It looks yummy to me and it tastes delicious as well. Gotta thank that girl. I ate in silence coz I think it would be weird if I were talking with no one around me. I wasn't hurrying or anything and I think I was even toying with the food. I just don't wanna go back yet. I feel so normal here.
Alone wallowing in my solitude. Back in the hotel, I have so many concerns. Actually, it isn't my problem but having a very nosy nature, I take the concerns as well. I just can't change old habits. Now, I guess it's the perfect time to think about where I stand with Brian. Should I return to him or not? Like I said, my heart screams that I should be in Brian's arm right now but I'm just not too sure when it comes to the mind. And prolly, my overactive imagination is also adding to it. Just too many what-if scenes playing in my mind.
Maybe the more appropriate question is, is it worth to take the risk? That's a thing to ponder on. I finished my breakfast and returned to the hotel. I walked to the receptionist to thank her profusely because of the place she recommended. When I did, I also learned that I have a message. It's from Nick saying that he went with the guys in their job today. So they left me. Not even a call?
I guess I felt a little hurt. If they don't want to be with me, why can't they tell it to me? When I don't like something about them, I tell it to their faces. Are they afraid that I might get hurt? Guess what, I'm hurting right now. I came here to be with people, not being left alone. I don't like this one bit. I went to my room and packed. I dialed my house's number. "Hi Rich! Marty here." I said to him as I took the clothes from the dresser.
"Marty! What's up?" Rich said.
"I'm coming home there and then I'll pack up for my tour. Just wanna inform you that. Bye." I said as I pressed the 'end' button in my mobile phone. I just can't carry a good conversation in this mood. I might snap at him and I don't want that to happen. Once packed, I carried my bag to the receptionist and paid the room with my card.
"Sir, your room has been paid already." The girl said glazed with confusion.
"I know. I want to pay for it. Just refund it or whatever and tell them." I said to him. "By the way, can I leave a message for either Nick or the guys?" I asked. She already knows that I'm a part of the NSYNC group. She nodded to me. "Tell them that I'm going home because this is not what I went here for." I said to her.
She returned my card and I headed out. I hailed a cab and instructed the driver to bring me to the airport. I booked my flight back home using my cellular phone. Once there, I paid for my ticket and waited for my plane to board. My mobile rang. I looked at the caller ID... it was Brian.
"Hi Brian!" I said to him.
"Caller ID? Anyway, just got curious when you said you were with the guys." Brian said to me.
"Forgot to tell you that I'm with NSYNC but I'm returning home to pack some more things for the tour." I informed Brian. "By the way, I might not be with Nick when I return there. He might need a ride or something." I can't believe I still have the concern for him.
"What happened?" Brian asked me. So, I narrated to him the story minus the time when I thought about him and the unanswered question. "I think Nick and I will have a little chat later. I can't believe he's that insensitive." Brian said with a tinge of anger in his voice.
"Don't bother. It's just a mood I guess. I'll get over it somehow and I don't want to give any problem to you. God knows that you have enough problem already." I said to him. The PA announced that my plane is starting to board. "Hey Bri, I'll call you back okay? Love ya." I said to him and ended the call. The last two words were said absentmindedly. I think my subconscious is working up. Anyway, I'm off for home.
I unlocked the door of my house. It's still the same. Nothing has changed. "Rich! I'm home!" I shouted as I dropped my baggage on the floor. No one seems to be at home.
I closed the door and started to separate the things that I'll bring and leave with what I brought. I did shop there in California and this is still a lot. Once in order, I brought the things that I will leave up to my room and placed them in my closet. Rich has a new wardrobe again. I dunno why I shop and shop but I don't get to wear them. This time, I think I learned my lesson with luggage. Don't bring too much coz you're gonna accumulate more stuff and it's more difficult. So I just brought a few casual clothes that I recently bought and one for formal occasions. Add my laptop and my fresh midi keyboard. I'm all set.
I carried the bag carrying almost everything downstairs coz the keyboard won't fit in the bag. Then Rich entered. "Hi there." I said to him.
"Won't be staying long?" He asked while giving me a tight hug.
"Nope. I'm flying for Florida later but I guess I can spare a few minutes with you." I said to him with mock arrogance.
"I know, I know. You're up there already, it's so hard for you to keep up with little people like me." Rich played along. Then we laughed. "It's good to hear you laugh again." Rich said.
"It is good to laugh. Been too much heartache before. I guess it's time for a little more joy in my life." I said as I sat on the couch. "Any prospects for you?" I asked him intrigued with his love life.
"Nada. I think this house is jinxed." Rich joked. "Anyway, everything okay with you now?" He asked me with concern in his voice.
"As good as it gets. Brian and I are trying to patch everything up but I'm still thinking if it's right for me to be with him again." I sighed.
"What's to think about? You are happy with him. Stay where you are happy." Rich said practically. He's the pragmatic type. Always go what's easy for you.
"If it's that simple. I have to mind his career as well. I don't think I can bear if he loses his career because of me." I told him my biggest obstacle in getting back with Brian.
"You just have to have a little more faith in people around you. And I think that if Brian is not giving any shit with his career, why are you taking the problem. If it's okay for him to fuck his career just for you, be flattered coz that means he really is in love with you." Rich said to me. He did make sense and made all my pessimistic thoughts disappear. I guess I'm underestimating people... again.
"Good one there. Makes thinking easier for me. Thanks." I said to him. I looked at the clock and it read 4:00pm. "It's getting late. I guess I have to fly back to Florida." I said to him.
"Come on. I'll drive you." Rich said as we walked to the car. The drive to the airport was filled with jokes and stories about what has transpired in our lives. It was the old Rich and Martin relationship before all the hiatus that happened in my life. That means, before I came out to my family.
In no time, we reached the airport. The two of us said our goodbyes and I went in to the airport; I'm going back to Orlando. My phone rang and it was Brian again. "Hi Bri! I'm in the airport now heading there." I said as I handed my card to the airlines I reserved in to get my ticket.
"Are you sure you won't need any ride? I can drive up there later." Brian once again offered. It was really tempting. I haven't seen Brian for ages.
"Nah! I'm okay. Like I said, Nick might need it more than me." I said to him as I smiled to the girl that gave me my ticket and card back. I walked to one of the waiting areas until my ride has been called.
"Where are you staying? You still don't have a house here. You can stay in my house. I have plenty of room." Brian asked me. Should I take it or not?
"Bri, don't take it the wrong way but I just don't think that it's right in our situation now. Let's give each other some space first to sort everything out coz we'll be cramped in a bus again for God knows how long." I explained to him. Deep inside, I wanna take the offer but I guess my mind is controlling my speech.
"Okay. But the offer stands anytime." Brian told me. "So how's Rich?" He asked me.
"Same old funny guy. Nothing new." I said to him. Then the PA announced my flight to Florida. "Bri, my flight is being called now. I'll see you tomorrow okay?" I told Brian.
"Sure. See ya." And that was it. I'm going to Florida.
As usual, the flight was very uneventful. I think I slept the whole flight but it wasn't that much stressful for me. I can't believe it's my second plane ride for the day. I walked to the baggage thingy to wait for my midi keyboard to arrive. After getting it still in one piece, I went out to find myself a ride, but it found me. Brian was standing there with his ball cap and eyeglasses. Stubborn prick. He walked to me and removed his eyeglasses. "I just can't help it." Brian said sheepishly.
"How about Nick?" I asked him.
"I think Kevin is gonna pick him up later. He took a later flight than you and I don't wanna deal with him now." Brian explained. What more can I do but nod.
"Thanks." I said to him shyly. "You look tired and thin." I told him my observations. It wasn't much but I can see the difference in him.
"Look who's talking?" Brian shot back. I guess he had me there. I just smiled at him. We rode his black Benz and were off. But to where? "Please accept my offer. I wanna talk with you before we face the music again tomorrow." Brian said in his sad puppy look.
"Okay fine. You know I can't say no to you especially with that look." I said to him with a smile. He returned it bigger. Is that possible? But when he smiled at that moment, he just exudes joy. It was good seeing him really happy again.
"So where on earth did you get that piece of contraption?" He asked me pointing at the keyboard. The two of us are gonna have fun.
As he parked his car in his spacious garage of his mansion, our light conversation halted for a moment. Actually, I'm more nervous. I know that we talked already but we'll have the real talk now. And I dunno what to do. Brian immediately took my bag even with my dispute to that idea. Still stubborn. I picked up my keyboard and headed in his house.
I was really amazed with his house. It has a country feeling to it, like the one back in Lexington. But this has a more modern and minimalistic touch to it. Actually, it looks comfortable with the visible space that could be seen. Or in simple terms, it spells out Brian all over it. "Nice crib." I complimented him.
"Thanks." Brian said to me as he closed the door behind him. I was still standing there not knowing what to do. It is his house and I'm just a guest here. "Don't feel cramped in here. Think of it as your home as well." Brian said with a smile. Did those words have double meaning to it? Foreshadowing perhaps? I have no idea.
I walked to the sofa and sat there. It is very comfortable. "Bri, thanks for having me in here." I thanked him for the millionth time already. I just feel so gracious for having Brian.
"Don't mention it. Well, we went here to have a talk, so let's talk." Brian said to me. That was quick and blunt. Just how I like it. "Have you thought it over?" He asked me.
"Before anything else, I just wanna apologize for inflicting pain on you. I think I can't ever forgive myself for hurting you back in Lexington." I said to him in the verge of tears. He held my hand and squeezed it. When I looked at him, his eyes were fill with love. I sighed. "For you question, I have thought for it for a certain time. And Rich did give me a kick ass advice back home. I guess I'll gonna give it a try." I said to him coyly. Brian leaped from where he was seated and jumped at me.
"Thank you thank you thank you!" Brian kept repeating. And after a week of hiatus in our relationship, our lips met once more in a passionate kiss. The kiss we were sharing was more of hunger for the lack of it for the past week. I guess the saying absence makes love fonder is correct. Is that the right saying? Anyway, I'm still kissing Brian. I have really missed those lips and the emotions that I feel when I kiss him. I feel so complete.
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Hey there y'all!
I can't believe I have chapter 17 out already! Well, I did say that I'll try my best to bring something out. I think this is a good Christmas gift for everyone. Brian and Marty are back together but I still have lots of things in my twisted mind that I wanna play with here in this series.
Please vote for NSYNC/BSB for the MTV Asia Awards! Both are up for Best Pop Act and Best Video! Either of the two would be good, but I am suggesting NSYNC more! *LoL* We could also vote for them in the People's Choice Award! Anyway, NSYNC is also nominated in the AMA's! Hurray for them! A big congrats for NSYNC's win in Billboard Awards.
A big 'HI' to the people in the Nifty Boyband Chatroom! They are so nice, especially Dru, CJ, Duckie, Clive... and the list goes on. Wanna say hi to my friends Byron and Reggie who have helped me with their support and their friendship! Finally, a big thank you to David, without him, we won't be reading any of the best slash fics in the world!
PLEASE!!!! Send me feedbacks... I'm a feedback addict! I so love those feedbacks. Short, long, good or bad, or just whatever... drop me a line okay? Addie is email@example.com. EMAIL me. If you have any problem with the HTML thingy, please tell me. And I also got the Yahoo Messenger thingy so that's also good so we can exchange IM's or something. The ID is pseud0nym2001. A BIG BIG BIG BIG 'Thank you' to all of you who have emailed! :-)
these are a few of my faves in the archive that inspired me to write and I hope you like them as well:
... these are a few of them but there are lots more... trust me.