Chapter 20

EMAIL ME!!! pseud0nym@edsamail.com.ph

As expected, tour has begun. I was back in work mode, so that means, no more fun in my life. It has been a week already and I was really feeling the stress. I was still the tour's music director and alongside that, I was teaching the guys the choreography for my song. I wish I never gave it to them. 

The last notes of the music played. It was another finished concert. Thank God. I really can't stand the screaming anymore. Mental note, buy earplugs. I am actually missing my sound booth where it's so far away from the screaming. But, I am technically in the band, so I am also on the stage absorbing the screams of the teenies. I talked to the band for a while congratulating them for another amazing performance and their tolerance for the noise. Then, I went to the dressing room of the guys to see them; okay, it's more of seeing Brian.

I opened the door seeing them sprawled at the couch. "Tired?" I asked them rhetorically as I closed the door. The guys just sighed and I think I didn't have to ask that coz they looked so tired. I approached Brian and gave him a kiss at his lips. "You were good there." I said to him. He smiled weakly at me.

"I'm so tired and so soar already. I think I'm too old for this." Brian complained. I knew that already. Brian wasn't enjoying anymore. Maybe during the early times of their career, Brian enjoyed performing. Who wouldn't? But I guess Brian has been too jaded already with all the things that have happened in his life. I know that he wants to settle down. But who was he to end the careers of his brothers?

"I know sweetie. But y'all get 3 days rest as you record in the studio, right?" I asked remembering their schedule. They were about to record My Type of Music and then the week after this, they'll be performing it first.

"Yeah. I'm excited with that." Nick chimed in. "Everything is being too routinely. We need a change." He added. I guess that was true as well. I mean I was feeling the boredom already of doing everything over and over again. It was sorta like Nietzsche's eternal recurrence. 

The PA's head pop in the room. "You can leave now." He said and left at once. These PA's are not too social. How on earth did they become PA's? Anyway, the guys picked up their duffle bags and we headed to the waiting limo that would bring us to the hotel. Finally, we can rest our wasted bodies.

"Have I told you that I love you this day?" Brian said to me as we laid our bodies on bed. 

"Yeah. When you woke up earlier." I smiled at him. "Come on, let's sleep. I'm so dead beat tired and my ears are still ringing coz of the screaming girls." I said as I nuzzled closer to him. Brian spooned me and I could feel his heart beat in his chest. "I love you." I said as sleepiness took me over.

Dreams are so strange. I could remember vaguely my dream but I know that it was about my parents. Why did they have to show up once more? It's been so long already. 

I opened my eyes; it was morning already. The clock read 10am. I guess I was really tired. I mean almost 12 hours of sleep? I think that's a record already. Brian was still asleep, as usual. I dunno why, but I always wake up first whether on tour or during the break. 

I wiped away the sleepiness in my eyes and enjoyed the view in front of me. How did I ever deserve such a wonderful guy? I can just watch him forever and never get tired of watching. Sorry for the cheesy moment but that was what I was feeling. 

I dunno how long I watched his chest go up and down or how he shifted slowly from left to right like he was looking for something. But I enjoyed the solace in that moment. Slowly, he showed some signs of waking up. His eyes fluttered open and when he saw me, he smiled at me. "Mornin'!" He said with a southern drawl in his voice while stretching out. When he wakes up, the southern accent always comes out. 

"Good morning." I said to him and gave him a light kiss coz God knows how awful my mouth tastes right now. I haven't brushed my teeth yet. 

"How long have you been watching me?" Brian asked me as he scratched his scar on his chest. The scar. The scar that almost took him away from the world. The scar that reminded me that Brian is so fragile. No more of those things in mind. 

"I dunno. I woke up around 10 and it's almost eleven now." I shrugged. "You know, you look so cute when you're sleeping." I said with a giggle. 

"Aaw, thanks." Brian said as he sat on top of me. "You know, it's been so long since we get to relax. I think I'll really make the most of this down time." Brian said suggestively. Fuck the morning breath, I flipped him so that I was on top of him and he was underneath me. I grabbed Brian's head and gave him a passionate kiss. Brian was telling the truth, it has been too long already.

I could feel his erection poking at my thigh. "I see that you're happy to see me." I said to him when I groped his dick and gave it a slow stroke. I guess he was enjoying it because he was moaning. I returned my attack at his lips. This was really different from our past encounters in bed coz this feels more animalistic. More on wild passion. 

My lips trailed down to his neck sucking a part near his ear where I know that he loves. "Ungh..." Brian moaned. More encouragement! I think there was a hickey already there and I giggled a little.

"I think I left a mark." I said to him but he didn't answer. My lips moved to his right erect nipples. I suckled at them like it was the most important thing in my life. It was so close to his scar but I tried to dismiss the thought that pertains to his scar. My tongue followed a faint trail of hair that leads to his penis. His dick.

It was one of the most spectacular think in the world. It's head was of a light purplish color and a little engorged with the amount of blood that has flown there. The shaft was so hard and erect. I might say that it was around 7 inches but I am not sure. I guess perfect would just sum up his penis. 

My lips closed in to the head of his dick. "Mart!" Brian moaned out as I toyed with the head of his penis with my tongue. I know that he loved that. I could taste the precum that was flowing generously in his piss-slit or whatever you call it. I can't explain the taste but I am sure that it's quite distinct. Slowly, my mouth slid down to the shaft taking half of his shaft inside my mouth.

Brian's hands were on my head playing with my hair that I've kept a little long but not too long like Kevin's or Howie's. I could feel the heat pulsating from Brian's penis, especially the throbbing. I bobbed my head trying to suck the life out of his penis. "Oh my Jesus!" Brian said as he gripped at my hair a little bit stronger. He was close, too damn close.

I sped up my motion and sucked harder at his penis trying my best to bring him to his climax. "Uungh!" Brian moaned as his body tensed and really grabbed on my hair and I was pushed down to the length of his penis. Spurts of cum flowed out of his penis and I could feel it hitting the back of my throat and the throbbing was really strong. Really, I can't explain how Brian's cum tastes. It was a little sweet but not like sugar and again, it has it's own distinct taste with it that is so unexplainable. Brian's hands loosen from his hold on my head and the throbbing stopped as his penis started to soften from my mouth. After he finished cumming, I pulled away from his dick and kissed him.

"That was good." Brian said to me with a grin. "And the best part is that I'll be returning the favor." Brian told me.

"Well, that would be later on because we'll be late for lunch and we have our session in the studio by 2:00pm and it's nearly noon already." I said I untangled myself from his hold.

"Do we have to?" Brian whined. 

"Yes sweetie. I'll shower now and you ask the guys when we'll meet." I said as I entered the bathroom. I could hear a little shuffling from the room and heard him pick up the phone. I went to the shower booth and adjusted the knobs for the right temperature that wouldn't scald me or freeze me. 

"We'll meet at 12:20 at the lobby." Brian shouted from the room. 

"Okay!" I said as I soaped my body. Well, it was so good to finally be with Brian again. I know that I've missed that when we took our little break or whatever you may call it. Still, I don't know what happened with his relationship with his family? Will he be like me with my parents? 

I washed away the soap from my body and step out of the shower. "The shower is free!" I shouted as I faced myself in the mirror. I was dripping wet from the shower. But what do I see? I still see the same self that was disowned by my parents. I can still see the hurt and the shame.

"Are you alright?" Brian asked worriedly. I didn't notice that he has walked in the bathroom already. 

"Bri, what do you see when you look at me?" I asked still staring at my reflection in the mirror.

"I see the person that I love. I see the perfections and imperfections that make your whole being. I see you Marty that always try to please others before yourself, a very selfless person. I see a beautiful person with loads of talents that he tries to hide." Brian said as his snaked at my waist pulling myself closer to him.

"Do you know what I see when I look at myself?" I asked. "I see a very scared boy that was so hurt and so torn apart when his parents disowned him. I see shame in there when people knew that I was gay. I see disappointment there because I failed to please the wishes of my parents that I be a straight guy and not a faggot." I cried. I have no idea how did come up but I think it's about the dream that I got about my parents. 

"Marty look at me." Brian said to me. Well, it was more like a command to me. I looked at him; drowned in his deep blue eyes. "I'm sorry that you ever felt being disowned by your family. But you know what? I feel more sorry for your parents because they really don't know who the real Martin is. They don't know that you are very talented and loving and selfless person. You have a good soul in that beautiful body and don't ever feel shamed with what you are. That's the one lesson that you've taught me." Brian said to me as a tear dropped from his face.

"I taught you?" I asked him confused because I don't remember anything like that.

"You taught me that love does exist even if we are gay. I buried all the bigoted teachings that I learned from the past and lived for love because I know that God created me this way and I'm not sin. God doesn't create any vile creatures." Brian said to me. I embraced him tight. Brian just knows when to say the right words at the right time. 

"I love you very much." I whispered to him.

"I love you too." Brian said as he wiped away the tears that have fallen from my eyes. "But the guys won't love us if we're late. I still have to bathe." Brian chuckled.

"Okay." I said to him as I walked out of the bathroom to dress up. I guess Brian is right. Well, Brian is always right. I know that for a fact.

Well, we weren't late when we reached the lobby. Actually, AJ wasn't there yet. He must be finding the 'perfect' attire that would shock the world even if we're gonna just eat then go to the studios to finally record. The elevator chimed and AJ walked out with a grin pasted on his face. "Ah, my loyal fans." AJ said to us. We just glared at him.

"Loyal your ass. We should have left you 10 minutes ago. We should have met here by 12:20 and it's nearly 1:00!" Kevin exploded at him. AJ looked like a confused lost puppy being scolded. "Come on and let's go. We've wasted enough time in waiting for AJ." Kevin headed out of the lobby to the waiting limo; and it's in the truest sense of the word.

We thought that we wanted something Chinese for the day and we let the driver drive us to where he thought was the best. I tried to observe each and every one of the guys while in the limo. AJ was very quiet. Well, I guess that Kevin's scolding had affected him. On the other hand, Kevin looked like that he's gonna explode any moment. He just looked so tensed and fidgety. The other three was 
'normal'. Brian and Nick were playing around and acting like toddlers in the limo while Howie and I talked about life.

"Anyone special in your life?" I asked him.

"I wish." Howie sighed. "You're so lucky that Brian is with you always. It's very hard to maintain a relationship when you're always in the road. One way or another, you'll just drift apart and eventually, break up."

"Come on. You must have found someone special out there." I pushed more. I know that Howie was hiding something. It was something he acted when he answered me. His eyes were shifty and he kept cracking his knuckle like he was trapped or something.

"Really, there's none." Howie said with a weak smile.

"Marty, stop teasing Howie." Brian said to me slapping me at the shoulder playfully. Nick just laughed. The limo stopped. I guess we're here now.

The driver of the limo picked out a good restaurant. The people in it were scarce and it seemed that the people there didn't recognize the guys. The food was really amazing. I think it's the best Chinese restaurant we ever went but I guess the only setback is that it's so hard talking to the people there because they only spoke Chinese.

The air while we ate was a little somber. AJ and Kevin were still keeping to themselves. I never thought that AJ would take it too deeply. I just have to talk to him about that. My phone began to ring.

"Marty here!" I said to the phone. Kevin was trying to talk to the waitress so they can bring the bill.

"Justin here! How are you?" Justin said cheerfully. I could hear a little shuffling in the background.

"Fine. How's your little ménage trois?" I asked Justin playfully. "Oops... I forgot that 1/3 of the household is here." I said with a chuckle. Brian looked at me with confusion written on his face. I mouthed that it was Justin and he just nodded and returned chatting with Howie.

"Lovely! You don't know what you're missing!" Justin answered me with a laugh. "JC said that he never thought that one can do wonders with 3 pairs of hands." Justin added that made me choke with the water that I was drinking.

"I don't think I need to hear that and I'm happy with Brian, thank you very much!" I said trying to maintain my composure. The others were already looking at me quizzically. I covered the mouthpiece. "I'm talking with Justin and JC." They just nodded at me, except Nick.

"You're talking with my guys? Gimme the phone!" Nick demanded and the next thing I knew was that I was clutching the air and no more phone at my hand. He snatched away the phone from my hands.

"Hey! I was comparing notes with Justin!" I joked that made Brian's eyes bulged out. I just gave him a grin. Nick just dismissed me and talked with his 'guys'. 

"Are we ready to head out?" I asked trying to feel the void of silence on the table.

"Come on. The studio is waiting for us." Kevin said leading the way out. 

"I'm gonna chat a little with AJ okay?" I whispered to Brian and when he nodded, I smiled at him and walked beside AJ. AJ looked at me with his sad eyes. "Everything okay?" I asked him.

"Yeah. Never been better." AJ said with a grin. 

"Really?" I asked sarcastically. AJ just looked at me and shrugged. His earlier confident grin turned to a weak smile. "It really hit a sore spot?" I asked him knowing that he is aware of what I'm talking about.

"Just a little but I'll be okay in a few." AJ said to me. 

"If you want to talk, I'm always available." I said to him patting him on the shoulder.

"Thanks. I might take your offer later." AJ answered me. We entered the limo and Brian immediately looked at me with questioning eyes. I just mouthed 'later' and he nodded. 

The trip to the studio was quieter except with the voice of Nick still talking with his boyfriends. "Are we that bad?" I asked Brian to me that just laughed at me.

"I think they're the worst!" Brian said. 

"I heard that!" Nick said from his little corner and then resumed talking about how they love each other. 

After a few more minutes in Nick's rambling on my phone, we've reached the studio. All of us immediately stepped out of the limo wanting to escape the cheesiness of Nick. "Please smack us if we ever do that in front of you." I groaned from the cheese overload.

The six of us entered the studio and we got acquainted with the people that work there. New people around; that means no public display of affection for Brian and I and no more phone call with Nick. "Come on! Let's start." I said finding my place in the booth.

It was my first time as a producer but I won't say that I loved doing it. Actually, it was a little boring and with your song repeating over and over again; it just starts to get overwhelming. By 4:00pm, I decided that we are all enough for the day. There's still tomorrow and I think I've got everything in control. 

All of us returned to the hotel wanting to shake off the boredom and the excessive ringing of the song in our minds. Once in the elevator, I talked to them about what we're gonna do tomorrow. "Tomorrow would be lighter than today. We'll just do a little more recordings then it's all up to me so y'all are free the day after tomorrow." The guys cheered at my declaration.

"I'll go with you." Brian offered me.

"Bri, it would really be boring there. Just have fun with the guys coz I know that you really need more time relaxing. Remember, we're back on the road on Friday." I said to him. It was more advantageous for me coz I know that I'll just get frustrated of seeing someone you love but you can't touch him. So, he's just a distraction for me there.

"Okay, if that's what you want." Brian said kissing me on the lips.

"That's what I want coz I love you and I don't wanna bore you." I cooed him. Howie smacked me at the head. "Why did you do that?" I asked him feeling the dull pain at the back of my head.

"You were acting gooey already. You said that if you acted that way, we'd just smack you." Howie said with a grin on his face. We all exploded in fits of laughter.

EMAIL ME!!! pseud0nym@edsamail.com.ph