t h e R E F O R M A T I O N
If you are under 18 or not of legal age in your country, please don't read on. If you couldn't accept themes in the likes of homosexuality, please don't read on. This is a story concerning gay males having intimate relationships and is considered FOR ADULTS ONLY due to its sexual theme and contents. BUT if you really like this stuff, please don't tell others.
Everything in this story is purely FICTIONAL. Or it's not true!!! Even if this story involved the Backstreet Boys, NSYNC and a fictitious character, all that happens here is fictional... again, it's not true. I don't know anything about their sexuality, as far as the world knows, they're straight as an arrow so I dunno if they're gay (but I do have my speculations) or not but I wrote this out of freedom of speech and my love for these guys and slash fiction. I don't own or know the Backstreet Boys and NSYNC personally. I do know that Brian Littrell is married with Leighanne Wallace (rolls my eyes), and Justin Timberlake is attached to Britney Spears, so let's just assume that the aforementioned relationships doesn't exist. AGAIN, it's NOT TRUE!!! but don't we all hope that it's true... hehehehe...
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"Brian is missing." Alex said as he returned the handset. His face was clouded by a little surprise that actually shocked me. I thought that he hates him already.
"What?!" I exclaimed. "Where on earth will that guy go? I mean I just left him there last night. Why will he go out? Didn't he know that it's very unsafe for him to go out alone. What if something happens?" I was babbling already. Worry has that effect on me.
"Martin, calm down." Alex said as he pressed his hands on my shoulder stopping me from pacing around. But I wasn't calming down. I just have to know where he is. Was it something I said to him? I hope not because all I did was to be very honest to him. Nothing else. "I'm gonna help find the prick." I guess Alex still has a little grudge with Brian, but he's helping to look for him so that's a good sign.
"Me too." I said quickly as I fished for a shirt. I was worried sick. I don't know where he would go and if something would happen to him, it would be because of me. I don't think I can handle that burden of guilt. I picked up my phone by the counter and pressed my speed dial for Brian. All I received was his voice telling me to leave a message. "Bri? Where are you? We're all worried sick already! Call me or whoever. Please." I pleaded.
I looked at my watch and it was around 7:00 am. Alex and I rode the elevator in silence. I was wishing that the elevator would go faster but it just hummed on and the fact that there are lots of people leaving and entering the elevator was really testing my patience. Finally, we have reached the lobby and I walked to the front desk immediately. I know that these people take note who comes in and who goes out. "Did you see Brian Littrell pass here?" I asked the girl stationed there. She looked at me quizzically but she prolly recognized me as part of the entourage of Backstreet Boys so she smiled to me.
"Yes he did. I think he went out around 1:00am but he hasn't returned yet." The girl said scratching her head like she was trying to remember it. I thanked her and walked out of the hotel. Once out, I looked at the left and at the right? The streets were already busy. Where on earth can he be? I got my cell phone out and dialed Kevin. "Any news with Brian?" I asked once he answered.
"I'm looking around the streets now but there's none yet." Kevin told me.
"I'll try to reach him again by his phone." I told Kevin and hung up. Again, I dialed Brian's number but it was received by his voice mail once again. I left a message for Brian in his phone and tried to think hard where he would go.
I was getting frustrated already. Someone touched my shoulder and it was Alex. "Calm down. He'll turn up when he's ready." Alex said to me knowingly.
I just removed his hand from my shoulder. "I can't calm down. He's out there alone and God knows what could happen to him in this city." I told Alex a little panicky. I hate being out of control and being left out.
"What good will it do if you just stand here and bitch?" Alex asked me that made me shut up. "Instead of thinking of many 'what if's' in your overly imaginative mind, why don't you start thinking where he would go coz you're the only one who knows him good enough." Alex told me.
I started to think about it. Where will Brian go if he's sad or depressed assuming that he is? A memory came back to me. Brian told me once that when he needs some time alone, he goes to somewhere secluded and very close to nature. Is it the park? "Come on." I grabbed Alex's hand and hailed a cab. Once the cab parked in front of us, the two of us went in. "Please bring us to the nearest park." I instructed the driver and we drove off.
"You think he's in a park?" Alex questioned me.
"Honestly, I don't know but it's just a gut feeling." I answered. The rest of the ride was spent in silence. I was too worried to talk and I just kept on looking outside hoping that I would spot him there walking and unharmed but there was none. After a few minutes, the cab stopped.
I paid the fare and walked out of the cab immediately. I scanned the area. The park was almost an open lot except for a patch of trees by the side and the few benches lined up near the paved ways. I started to walk around the park looking left and right hoping that I would see him there. After around 30 minutes, Alex and I still can't find Brian. "Maybe he's not here." Alex told me.
"I guess." I said sadly. The two of us were about to go back to the street when I saw a lone figure under a tree. I stopped walking and stared at the guy. He was wearing a ball cap but I can see the faint sparkle of his blue eyes. It's Brian. "Call them and tell them that I found him." I threw my phone to Alex and sprinted to where Brian was.
Once I was near him, I just walked trying to catch my breath and trying to compose myself ready to talk to Brian. I was a few paces away from him when he noticed me walking at his direction. He smiled faintly and that encouraged me to go to him and my little anxiety inside diminished. "I know that you're the only one who can find me." Brian said as I was close to him already.
I sat beside him. "The others are worried sick with your disappearance act." I informed Brian.
"I'll just apologize to them later." Brian said nonchalantly like it was nothing. "I just need some time alone to think with what we talked last night." I don't know what to say to him.
"What's there to think about?" I asked cautiously.
"There are lots actually. I'm thinking about if ending our relationship was really the answer. I'm thinking about how important you are in my life." Brian said looking at me. "And do you know what answers I reached?" Brian asked me.
"No." I said almost a whisper.
"I realized that I really love you so much that it hurts sometimes. I realized that I couldn't be away from you." Brian told me. "But I realized as well that we don't really know each other that well. We know lots of things about each other but maybe the fact that we were never friends first makes it difficult." I can see where he was going. I guess we aren't in the point where we are 100% comfortable and trusting to each other like best friends do.
"I understand." I told him as I nod.
"Martin, don't ever think that I don't wanna be with you because God knows how much I want to be with you forever. Our time together was the most fantastic time in my life but if we really want to make it together til the end, I think we need to start as friends first before going on the next step." Brian said looking at the group of guys passing by. "I can see myself with you til I am old already but I don't know if we would last that long if we would always argue and fight like what we had. And being away from you is the last thing in my mind."
I thought hard about what Brian said. It is 100% sure that I am IN love with Brian but I guess if we end up in these petty arguments that would split us up, I think this would be for the best until we are in that point where we are very much comfortable with each other.
"I guess this is for the best." I smiled at him. "It was a nice experience being with you Bri. And prolly someday, we can have that again. Maybe better than what we already shared." I told him as I reached to touch his hand. Brian looked at my hand and held it.
"One final kiss before we become just friends?" Brian said to me. I looked around if there are people that might catch us kissing. There was none. It was like destiny wanted this to happen. I leaned to him until our lips pressed. Oh that lovely soft pink lips. I know that I am gonna miss those but if this is for the best, then let it be.
I broke the kiss and stared at him. "Always remember that you are the only guy that I will love then, now and forever." I said to him as a tear escaped from my eyes. Brian wiped it away.
"I will and remember that I'll love you too. We'll be together again someday." Brian told me as he wrapped me in a tight embrace.
This is the end of our little time together as Brian and Martin, the couple. I know that Brian and I would end up as very good friends. We have become an amazing couple and now that we are just friends, I'll just have to cherish this and let our relationship grow back. The two of us stood up from where we are and walked to where Alex was standing waiting for us. "You two ready?" Alex asked.
"Yeah." I said putting my arm on Brian's shoulder as we headed back to the hotel. Alex was eyeing me with curiosity. I know that he has a million questions that he wanna ask and when we get back, the guys are gonna be asking us too. "We'll talk later." I whispered to him in the cab. Alex just nodded and smiled at me.
When we returned to the hotel, the guys were all waiting on the lobby. Once they saw the three of us, the Boys walked to us relieved to see Brian safe. "Thank God you're okay!" Kevin exclaimed as he wrapped Brian in an embrace. Alongside with that face of relief was a look of confusion with the two of us smiling at each other.
"Of course I am." Brian grinned at them. "I'm sorry for running like that but I just have to clear lots of stuff in my head." Brian apologized to them.
"Just don't do it again." Nick said as he gave Brian an embrace as well. "So are you two together again?" Nick asked a little hopefully. I know that Nick wants us to be together again the most. I guess he's still feeling a little guilty about it.
Brian and I looked at each other and smiled. "Nope." Brian and I said at the same time then giggling. I could sense that the others were getting confused with the mixed emotions we were displaying. First, we were ready to kill each other and now we are giggling together like high school girls.
"We decided to just remain friends." Brian told them. I think they didn't know what to say coz they just nodded hesitantly. On the other hand, Alex smiled at me and acknowledged it. I guess he's thinking that we made the right choice here.
"Enough with this melodrama shit. Group hug!" AJ shouted as he and Howie joined the embrace. It's one of the moments that I wished that I have a camera with me. This is definitely a Kodak moment. After a few seconds, they broke it up and we went upstairs to finally eat some breakfast. I guess Nick was really hungry already.
"Can't this elevator hurry up?" Nick whined as he watched the numbers lighting up. I just have to snicker coz Nick was just acting his old childish ways. He just glared at me. "I'm still a growing boy and I need to eat."
"I'm not saying anything." I acted defensive. The elevator doors opened and Alex and I stepped out to go to our room.
"You don't want to eat upstairs?" Kevin asked as he held the doors from closing. I looked at Alex and he was giving me this pleading look that he really wanted to be with the guys.
"I wanna take a bath first but I'll follow. Go take my brother." I said as I pushed Alex in the elevator and the door closed. I didn't move for a while trying to absorb what just happened earlier. It would surely look weird coz I was just standing along the hallway staring at nothingness.
How does it feel to be officially single? I wasn't feeling any different actually. Maybe the fact that Brian and I decided it together and there were no hard feelings left made everything good. Well, we aren't closing anything yet but decided to explore first as friends. I must admit that our relationship was really a spur in a moment.
I can still remember seeing him enter the cafe in a ball cap and pair of eyeglasses. Then, that night, we decided that we want a relationship. Man, it was only hours since we first met and we made a relationship already. That was surely quick. Yet, the two of us know that it was love at first sight. We didn't fall out of love and I think the two of us are doing this because we really love each other. It's kinda weird. Trust me, I'm a little confused as well.
I guess we want to relearn each other so we can really stand the test of time. What good does love have if the two of you can't survive a day without arguing? And that might lead to a fall out and a very miserable life afterwards. Brian is a spectacular guy, no doubt about it but there are stuff that still bothers me and I know for a fact that my nosiness sometimes gets on his nerves. The best thing to settle it, just stay friends and learn to stand each other. If you can be together as friends, surely, you can be lovers as well.
Enough of this, I'm feeling a little uncomfortable already. I haven't taken a bath yet since the concert and I'm the stickiness in my skin is really awkward. It was an easier time for me coz I'm not worrying about Brian anymore. I guess at the back of my mind, I'm trying to deny the fact that Brian and I are officially not together. I think that's expected already.
After that wonderful bath, I walked to the next floor to meet the Boys. Now, where are they gonna eat? Kevin. I knocked at his door and opened it. I heard the guys laughing out loud already. "Anything I missed?" I asked as I entered the room.
"None." Brian said in a straight face. That was truly a lie. One, two, three... he was laughing his ass off. I eyed Alex suspiciously and I realized something.
"You didn't!" I said to him, it was more shouted. Alex just gave me this cheesy grin. He did. "What story did he tell you guys?" I groaned. I walked to the cart piling up different bits of food that looked nice to eat.
"I think it's not story. It's stories." AJ said. Again, all I can do was groan. God knows how many embarrassing stories Alex knows about me. We were really close back and I guess til now we are.
"Don't worry, I haven't told them yet about the camping trip." Alex said that made me spun around and I gave him a death glare.
"Just try." I threatened him.
"Oooh. Camping trip." Nick chimed in. "One time, at band camp..." Nick mimicked the girl in the American Pie movie.
"You know. That part fits you." I laughed that was followed by the others leaving Nick blushing. Well, he did say it. "And for you." I pointed at Alex. "One more word from you about me and I'll gonna show them your picture. You know, THAT picture." I told him raising my eyebrow for emphasis. Alex's eyes bulged out.
"You don't have it." Alex said to me.
"I do. It's just in my wallet. Wanna see?" I said pulling out my wallet but he held my hand.
"Okay, I'll shut up!" Alex conceded that made me smile at him. I know that this certain picture was gonna shut him up. I think it's his most embarrassing picture and when I saw it back at home then,
"You are no fun." Nick said in a fake pout crossing his arms like a 5-year old kid.
"Well, what if I ask the other guys to share some of your moments?" I said to him that made the pout disappear and he shot the guys a pleading look.
"This is gonna be fun!" AJ said with a mischievous grin. "We were still in Europe..." AJ started.
"Let's all forget about the embarrassing moments and let's just talk about other stuff!" Nick interrupted AJ. With his blushing face, all of us laughed at him. "That's right, laugh at me. I'm sure that Justin and JC are gonna kick your asses when they hear that you're all being mean to me." Nick said childishly with a pout pasted on his face.
"Oh please! That mop head and that broomstick?" I said defiantly.
"Hey! Those are my boys!" Nick retorted. The two of us joked some more until Kevin shut us up with his patented glares. "He started it." Nick pointed at me with a pout.
"Did not!" I answered him crossing my arms.
"Did too!" Nick answered back.
"Why won't you two shut up and act your age. Your banters are getting to my nerves." Kevin said holding his temples.
"Aaw, sorry to disturb your silence, Gramps." I said dramatically that earned a glare from Kevin.
"I heard that a sign of getting old is a low tolerance with noise." Nick said knowingly. Kevin averted his eyes to Nick that shut him up.
"Sometimes, I just don't know what to do with you two." Kevin told us shaking his head.
"Be thankful. I think Marty has toned down." Alex noted. "He's worse before!"
"I wasn't! I was a perfect angel." I said to him with a smile pasted on my face. The others just looked at me uncomfortably, even Brian. "I was!" I added. But did they listen? No. They just snickered at me. All I can do was pout.
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Hey there y'all!
That's Chapter 24. This chapter was kinda unexpected. Actually, I was gonna make Brian and Martin a couple again but a reader made an amazing suggestion. That's why Brian and Martin are now sorta singles. :-)
By the way, I have another story here in Nifty. I just uploaded it alongside this, it's entitled What I See. Well, it's kinda different coz it's a JC story! Yep, I'm on my JC moment so I am so loving every bit of Mr. Joshua Scott Chasez.
A big 'HI' to the people in the Nifty Boyband Chatroom! They are so nice, especially Dru, CJ, Duckie, Clive, Jayson... and the list goes on. Wanna say hi to my friends Byron and Reggie who have helped me with their support and their friendship! Finally, a big thank you to David, without him, we won't be reading any of the best slash fics in the world!
PLEASE!!!! Send me feedbacks... I'm a feedback addict! I so love those feedbacks. Short, long, good or bad, or just whatever... drop me a line okay? Addie is firstname.lastname@example.org. EMAIL me. If you have any problem with the HTML thingy, please tell me. And I also got the Yahoo Messenger thingy so that's also good so we can exchange IM's or something. The ID is pseud0nym2001. A BIG BIG BIG BIG 'Thank you' to all of you who have emailed! :-)
these are a few of my faves in the archive that inspired me to write and I hope you like them as well:
... these are a few of them but there are lots more... trust me.