Date: Wed, 12 Dec 2001 03:32:55 +0800 From: Dane Javier Subject: The remains of being human Prologue-Chapter2 Author's Notes: FYI, Nsync isn't really Nsync in this world because this story is an AU. Disclaimer: I'm not responsible for any form of slander that maybe come upon any of those mentioned in the story because its all fiction. None of this is true. The Remains of Being Human By Dane Prologue: Vampire. An archaic monster that scared superstitious fools for centuries. Nowadays, the modern human being doesn't believe in these beings of the night and their animalistic need to survive on the living blood of people. Ironic, really, that despite all this disbelief in their existence there is a wide fascination with them. In most Gotham-like cities, there are minorities in society that dedicate themselves to living as much like the fabled bloodsuckers. To a degree, they inspire men and women to unbridle their sexuality and to smash their repression through various fetishes and kinks. It's really funny to think that some people are more 'vampire' than the myth itself. Any vampire would have to give thanks to writers like the Irish master of Victorian Horror, Bram Stoker, and the Philosophical Gothic Queen, Anne Rice. They gave the monster a soul, thus making them look more like what they once were, human. They also gave personality to them. As a result, vampires, at least in the pass 150 years of literature, were conceived as beings that are not necessarily villainous, but also searchers of unattainable redemption. Modern man doesn't see them as the dirty and malevolent devils haunt the wilderness, but entities that try to live among side their prey, living in human society as beautiful ingenues. A total far cry from the old stereotypes of old Europe. And forget about those notions about holy water, garlic, and other so-called defenses against the undead. Please, who thought of those things must have been brought up in some asylum. Vampires have no weaknesses, well, except maybe the heat of the sun and that of fire. Only the most basic of nature's wrath can kill a creature of the night. At least, that part of the myth is true. The reputation of the vampire is both envied and feared. It's like being a dictator who rules with an iron fist, or an emperor who slaughters his enemies. It's a terrifying analogy, but it true. Another thing is that is true, at least to most people in the world, is that vampires don't exist. A figment of literary imagination. A Boogie Man used to scare little kids at bedtime. A folk legend of the Slavic race. I laugh at this because I know for a fact that vampires are real. Why do I know that, you ask. It's because I, Justin Randall Timberlake, am a real vampire. I'm glad for these paradigm shifts of recent history. It makes living as a vampire more bearable and safe. I'm giddy at the mere thought of it. Now I don't worry about the weaknesses and disease that comes with growing old and weary. I fly over vast distances, bend metal bars with my bare hands, run faster than the fastest thing on earth, see with unique vision, and read minds. If I only have the power to freeze things with my breath then I can say that I'm Superman. Want to hear my story? Want to know how I became a vampire? Well, listen carefully, young mortal, because you will have quite night ahead of you. Chapter 1: I guess I had what you mortal's called a very charmed life when I was among the living. I had a typical American upbringing for one who was born in the last quarter of the 20th century. I have wonderful parents, who divorced when I was 11 and remarried to different spouses when I was 13. Like every teenager at that age range, I was undergoing changes, that I was going through puberty like everyone else at the time. A cookie cutter life in a dysfunctional 90's fashion Oh wait a minute, silly me! I bet some of you are wondering what the hell do I look like, huh? Well, to say the very words that my Sire, that's Joshua, or JC to me, said 'you look like one of God's angels'. I was honestly touched when I heard that compliment, any other time I would have smacked anyone down for saying that. It became such a cliche growing up. As you might guess, yes, I do fit the description of an angel. The blond curly hair. The expressive sapphire eyes. The tall, slim, and muscular built. The graceful movements. The talented voice. The body of a brickhouse. Yadda yadda yadda... There goes my ego, but then you can't really blame me for vampires are vain and inherently beautiful beings. It's part of our dual nature of being human and monster. It's rare to find someone like us who isn't beautiful in his own way. Anyway, back to my teen years. In junior high, I was hated by most of my classmates for my good looks. Sounds like a backlash of Lisa 'Left-Eye' Lopes. Never a day would pass when not one guy would insult me, degrade me in some way. I got into my fair amount of fights because of what I look like. I never really suffered through the usual acne breakouts, sudden growth spurts, and awkward stages. I grew gradually into the steady metamorphosis, and for that reason alone I was despised and wanted at the same time. My situation at home wasn't even the picture perfect thing that most people would think I have. After endless arguments of my parents over me, my mom decided to leave my home state of Tennessee to live in sunny Florida and bring me along, after a long custody battle, for the ride. Needless to say, I loved the change of environment. Orlando suited me. The friendly people with their joie de vivre practically fueled the wonderful weather of the city. It hardly ever sleeps, and, yes, Disneyland was right around the corner. It's here that my luck happened to change from the pre-adolescent traumatic to the stuff that every teen dreams of. Midway the fourth year of high school, I was discovered. There's a story there too. It also happens to be the first time I met my Sire. My mom decided to open a nice cozy cafe along the Boardwalk, and was almost instantly embraced by the local community. It was named 'Blue Eyes Cafe' after her favorite fruit-blend tea that she buys from a specialty store back in Memphis. It became a hit with the locals, and business has been booming ever since. Sometime around late January, in my senior year, the first of a series of events that affected my life, and now my un-life, happened. I have to admit though that being an only son can suck a lot of the time. There are times when I would be forced by my mother to close up shop for her when she was invited to some party or something along with Paul, my step-dad. That was one of the reasons why my parents divorced. My dad, Randall, couldn't take the social lifestyle of my mom, Lynn. Anyway, it was on one of those nights when I was closing up the cafe that it started. I have an amazing voice. People would say that is where my real talent lies; I believe them. I was singing to my heart's content, sweeping the floor and wiping the tables as I did this. A few passers-by would curiously look through the windows to see who was singing and would clap in appreciation when I finished a song. As it was late, I took my time so I sang as if there was nothing else left for me to do in this world. I was sipping on my cup full of Lemon Honey tea over the nearly wiped counter when I felt something different. Looking around in the dark sitting area and in the well-lit back kitchen, I saw nothing was wrong. Shrugging my shoulders, I began to sing a little classic song that my parents used to dance to when we used to have parties in our old house. With lithe movements, I grab a Fedora, that happened to be used in display on a hat rack that my mom bought at a flea market for decor, and did my imitation dance of Fred Astaire. I skipped out to the middle of the floor and started to dance and sang in sync with that old, familiar George and Ira Gershwin song, using the broom as my partner. I knew that people could see me but I didn't really care all that much. Our romance won't end on a sorrowful note, Though by tomorrow you're gone; The song is ended, but as the songwriter wrote, "The melody lingers on" They may take you from me, I'll miss your fond caress. But though they take you from me, I'll still possess: The way you wear your hat, The way you sip your tea, The mem'ry of all that-- No, no! They can't take that away from me! The way you smile just beams, The way you sing off key, The way you haunt my dreams -- No, no! They can't take that away from me! We may never, never meet again On the bumpy road to love, Still I'll always, always keep The mem'ry of -- The way you hold your knife, The way we danced till three, The way you've changed my life -- No, no! They can't take that away from me! No! They can't take that away from me! I know it sounds campy but I grew up on musicals, okay. I used to love it when Gene Kelly would dance and parlay with Cyd Charisse in 'Sing in the Rain'. That barn-raising dance in 'Seven Brides for Seven Brothers' was a masterpiece, and that clever scene of Fred Astaire in 'The Barkleys of Broadway' with all those props he freestyle with. It was because of these old musicals that I begged my parents to send me to dance lessons when I was 7 years old. Just give me an opportunity and I would probably out-dance all those popstars out there. Now there's irony if I ever thought of it. I'll tell you why later. As I was doing all these elaborate movements, I noticed a man outside the cafe. He was tall and looked a little lanky. He had dark wavy hair and intense blue eyes that seem too radiant in the dark. The man looked about 20 at least, 25 at most. The dark, shimmering suit that he wore made his appearance mysterious and monumental. The high cheekbones and the perfect nose made him seem so impossibly, unrealistically handsome. Such beauty stunned me. All I did was blink and the man was gone. 'What the fuck was that?' I thought. Shrugging, taking the dark-haired man outside as a hallucination. I went back to my business of cleaning-up and continued to sweep up the floor. After placing all the cleaning tools into a closet in the kitchen and checking if the backdoor was locked, I switched off the lights. 'At least I'll be home in time to see 'Party of Five' when it starts,' I thought to myself. Crossing the sitting area, I felt a draft. 'Funny, I locked up the backdoor.' Turning back into the kitchen and saw that padlock on the door firmly set. Dismissing it as part of that weird vision at the window, I turned around, but was suddenly faced with that same man from outside, who stood now, impossibly, right in front of me. 'What the?!?!' Oh, those amazing eyes. There were blue, almost gray, under my scrutiny, and seemed to pierce my very soul. What seemed like an eternity drove me insane with anticipation; how can he be here when I locked up all the doors? Without a word of question, he leaned in with those perfect lips of his and kissed me, with me suddenly tensing as if the wrongness of the situation. Again, my mind just had to think 'What the?!?!'. Abruptly, to my surprise at the time, my inhibitions were let loose and I was sinking into the kiss. It was almost as if a switch was turned in myself and I instinctively responded to the kiss back with passion. That same passion only increased as he moved away from my lips and locked into my cerulean eyes. It was mesmerizing, that smile he gave then he moved down to taste me. My limbs were weak and held on to him like he was a life preserver, all because he nibbled on my earlobe. My breathing hitched with every new wonder that this beautiful man had in store for me. He licked on my collarbone. One pinch on my nipple as he removed my shirt. That tasting of my chin as he moved towards my left ear. 'Mine', he whispered, and I could have done virtually anything he would have asked if he could make me feel this way forever. Down he moved to my neck with his sensual tongue, then a sudden sharp pain before in passed out from ecstasy. Somehow, hours later, I found myself in my bedroom with my mother sitting right beside me and my step-dad hovering above her, looking down on me with concerned eyes. She said that when she tried to wake me up for breakfast, she found me with a 101.3 degrees fever and very pale skin. One neighborhood doctor came and said that I would be fine in a week's time. She recommended plenty of rest and liquids. I tried to recall over what happened to me last night, but mostly a blank came to mind. Chapter 2: The next chapter of my life can only be described as very 'Dickens', very much like 'Great Expectations' except without the unpleasant sister and the spiteful spinster. Throughout high school, I've gained, sometimes I wonder about that, the popularity that was out of reach to me before. I became the ideal student (Most popular student, Class President, MVP in basketball etc.) Boring stuff. What really made me proud is the music I make. Say what? First, he's a dancer, a basketball player, a singer, and now he's a musician. Is there anything that I can't do? Sue me. I have talent. Anyway, I sing lead for this band that everyone said was good but, basically, go nowhere. We named the band 'Fifth Wheel', sort of an insight to feeling like you're disposable and useless, very Grunge. So here we are in my basement, members of my band, various friends and other people that I hardly know aside from bumping into them in the hallways of Dr. Phillips High. Now, I want to focus on four people here in this room for a while. With me included, we were the 'Fab Five' of Dr. Phillips High. Me, Lance, Christina, Joey and Britney. Let me back down some history. I met Lance first. He was my neighbor who, like me when I was in Tennessee, was an outcast. He looked girly and soft. It was no wonder that everyone wanted to be mean to him. That summer before the school year started, we made a vow to re-invent ourselves since there was no one to help us. Neither of us wanted to return to what we were once were. Now, if you were to see Lance Bass, he still had that effeminate look about him underneath that rough goatee and blonde streaked spikes. If he was soft looking before, now he's toned and very appealing to the eye. Christina Aguilera, or 'Chrissy' as what we like to call her, decided to join us in our little project ever since she overheard our game-planning in the mall one time. Now, let me mention first that she's my 'twin'. We have similar backgrounds so we both know what it's like to suffer because of our looks. She had her long golden hair while I had my corkscrew curls. Needless to say, without her help we would have failed miserable. She's short and loud, but she's one smart cookie. Both her and Lance are my Joe to my Pip character. Our plan was simple. A little change of appearance, some do's and don'ts in our wardrobe, and a bit of change in the way we lived our every days. It worked, just a little too much as I could say. We quickly became an 'A-list' crowd with the addition of Britney and Joey. After an amazing first week, in which we managed to wow our new classmates with ease, we met Britney Spears, a vivacious girl from Louisiana with honey locks and hips that could move. Being new to town like me, we quickly assimilated her into our little circle. She's an Estella with more personality, and less likely to frost you over. Our group wouldn't be complete if it weren't for the dramatic way of how we meet Joey Fatone. First, he bumped my car and bent my fender. Next, he tried to hit on Chrissy and got slapped in the process. Later that day, Joey sideswiped Lance as he was running late for his class. Britney was introduced to him in Basic Theater and managed to 'chew the fat'. After a more sedated introduction, he was welcomed into the fold with open arms, even if he did still had to pay for my bent fender. Everyone would notice that he is the 'joker card' of the group mainly because he's not blonde and slim like the rest of us. He has a good beard that never grew wild and chocolate eyes. The glint of perpetual mischief matched well with his ever-changing hair color, which only served to attract people from miles around. One Artful Dodger whose everyone's best friend. As the years passed, we became to envy of the entire school. How is that for a little 'change'? In our senior year, each of us carved a niche so we basically controlled the school. We were school royalty. I was captain of the basketball team, and its MVP. Britney became head cheerleader. Chrissy ended up as class valedictorian. Joey became the school 'player' and all-around best actor in the drama club. And Lance was the head of Yearbook and Honors Society. Now here in my basement, I'm playing with my band, 'The Fifth Wheel', with Lance at Bass (How funny is that) Chrissy at vocals, and me in lead guitar. I also sing vocals. Britney and Joey were on the run down couch staring. Britney was looking at me because I was her beau at the time, and Joey at Lance. (He's Bi and has been pining for Lance since he first met him. Lance is oblivious to the whole thing) Other non-mentionables were seated and sprawled all around the place, listening to what has to be the last practice session we have before Spring Break before the boys will split and head out for Key West while the girls went to New York with Britney's family. As Chrissy and I sang our duet, I studied my friends and made a mental note to find some to level some down time with them before the division of the sexes. One thing as I looked upon my own little clique of friends is that I really don't know how we got dubbed as the 'beautiful ones'. Sure I'm angelic to look at but if you look closely I don't really have that clear of skin and I'm blind as a bat unless I wear contacts or my high-grade glasses. Britney is a 'heather' and she admits it, she just tends to wear loose jeans and men's shirts alot. Lance is still growing into his looks, as days pass he's starting to look hotter and hotter. (In the corner of my eyes sometimes, I would see Joey drool whenever we would go swimming or sunbathe on my roof.) Chrissy was waifish and looked like she doesn't eat. Contrary to that idea, she could give you a run for your money in a pie-eating contest. Yep! We are just regular freaks of nature, but then that's just normal for being a teenager. Chrissy snaps me out of my musings and asks for what the last song that they were going to practice before parting ways. I said 'Kryptonite' by 3 Doors Down. We did that song down and were asked for an encore by some of the Peanut Gallery in the place. We complied with 'Lump' by the Presidents of the U.S.A. 'So are we set for leaving later?' asked Joey as he helped in cleaning up the basement after most of the 'Klingons' left. It was still early but I knew that us guys plan to leave almost the same time as the girls' early morning flight, as in 5 in the morning. 'Not really. My stuff is set out but I still have to pack them,' replied Lance as he helped me place the drum set into a storage cabinet. 'Just remember that we will pass by your place at 3:30 and then head out to Britney's house before we hit the road. Just be packed and awake by that time or I will personally have your ass.' Oh Lance! If you only knew how much Joey would want that. 'How about you, Juju?' I really hate that name! 'I'm set and packed. I just have to spend some quality time with my maternal unit at the cafe and do a set before hitting the hay early. Hey baby!' I said as I leaned in and kissed Britney on the cheek while she perused the latest fashions of some 'Vogue' wanna-be magazine. She looked up and smiled then continued on her focused task. 'So Chrissy, what are you going to bring over later for our last hootenanny before we part of a week?" Christina, sweet Christina, all smiling amiably and innocent-like even if I knew that she was far from it, tilted her head in thought from the overstuffed chair she was sitting on. 'I'll see if I can bake a quick batch of brownies tonight. My cousin Jason gave me some weed the other day as an advance birthday gift since he's leaving next week for England.' Who would believe that the class valedictorian happens to be also one of the school's biggest potheads? 'Sweet', exclaimed Joey and me as I shoved the last of the instruments into the closet. Soon, all of us were out of that musky basement and filing ourselves out of my house. Lance went to his house next door, with a forlorned Joey looking on. Chrissy and Britney went across the street to Chrissy's house, leaving me with Joey. He didn't really make a move to leave as he continued to look at Lance's house. 'Say, you want to join me at the cafe? I'm making it into an early night, after all.' I offered. Joey sighed and nodded nonchalantly. My concern gave way to my first priority of getting to the cafe; where I'm due to perform in one hour. Rushing Joey into the passenger side of my banged-up SUV, I revved up the car and left our quiet suburban 'hamlet'. All throughout the 20-minute ride to the Boardwalk, Joey remained silent and a little sulky. I parked and tried to strike up a good conversation as we walked to the cafe. Tired of being blatantly ignored, I took direct action and tripped him, sending him into the wooden walkway with a loud thud. How he managed to look embarrassed and annoyed at the same time, I don't know. 'What the hell was that for?' he snapped at me, blushing, while wishing the people who saw what happened to just disappear. I grinned and helped him on his feet. 'Now that I got your undivided attention, will you tell me what is wrong with you? Is there something on your mind? I don't really appreciate it when my friends ignore me so they could wallow in their own self-imposed misery. Now tell me what's going on or I will have to beat it out of you with that Drag Queen's platform shoes,' I candidly threatened as I pointed to a particularly flamboyant cross-dresser who can give RuPaul a run for her money. Joey winced at the sight of those 6-inch platforms. 'Okay,' he said with resignation. 'So what's bothering that bowl of spaghetti that you call your brain?' I asked with as much humor that I could muster to lighten up Joey's disposition. 'It's the usual, and then some,' he answered. The 'usual' meaning Lance. I guess it was Lance's fault to begin with as why Joey is like this. During our sophomore year, the three of us went on a road trip to Lance's aunt back in his old hometown of Clinton, Mississippi. We were to spend a week there before classes began. During our stay there, we decided to camp out in a nearby watering hole. To cut a long story short, Joey woke up and went out to take a piss in the early morning. Lance was already out and decided to skinny-dip in the watering hole. Joey saw him and has been dreaming and scheming to get Lance to notice him ever since. What he saw in the pasty white ass of Lance, I don't want to know. Ever since the day that Joey told me about his new quest, I wished him all the luck in the world to get into Lance's pant. Frankly, at the time, I didn't even know if Lance was gay or straight. I guess that's what you get for being one of those people who prayed a lot and acted like an old priest some of the times. I thought about Lance as a person who never really showed his sexuality at all. I guess that's one of the allure that Lance has other than his bright, expressive green eyes and his sensual low voice. I guess also that Joey was attracted to Lance because of his calming nature, he could quell out a storm with his presence alone. Then I've done something that I usually never would take seriously. I thought of Joey and Lance as a couple, and amazingly, the thought wasn't repulsive. If Lance was water, then Joey was fire. Polar opposites that surprisingly match, if Lance would only give Joey more than the time of day. 'What do you mean by 'and then some'? Don't tell me you are contemplating something like suicide, are you?' 'Jesus No! It's just that I've been thinking about a lot of things. Lance happens to be one of the main components. These past few months have really opened my eyes, so now I'm really confused.' 'Anything specific you want to talk about?' 'No, just give me some breathing space so I can think about all this and then I'll tell you about it.' I simply shrugged my shoulders and gave a reassuring smile to Joey. We stopped in front of the Blue Eyes Cafe and entered to the animated banter of the Sunday crowd. All around were young people in casual and relaxed fashion. There were none of the usual high-on-caffeine customers that I see on the weekdays nor the Avant Garde Fashionistas that dwell on the special concoctions during the few hours before closing time. Just everyday people that need to relax and unwind. And I'm the one to help along with that train of thought. I greeted my mom and grabbed my special in-house guitar from the back. Joey placed himself at the bar and started to hit on this college girl from out of town. I smiled at Joey's ability to get easily distracted. Weaving through the seated patrons, I got up on the slightly elevated stage and tuned my guitar. I gave my mom the cue and she turned on the small halogen lights above my head. A few clapped at their recognition of me, and I waited for them to silence themselves. 'Hello,' I greeted. 'Welcome to the Blue Eyes Cafe. I'm Justin and I'll be playing for you tonight as per requested by my mother over there.' I pointed to my mom and made her blush. 'If there is anything that you want to hear, please, don't hesitate to write it down and send it over. If I can play it, fine. If I can't, well, sorry.' A few people chuckled and I began on the first song. We rode all night across an endless desert We had no moon to light our way And though a billion stars were slowly turning We lacked the consciences to pray Our horses running like devil chasers Those feet they hardly touched the ground Yes, I'm familiar with the gray wolves howling But I'm certain I never heard this sound Devil to pay On judgment day Would Jesus strike me down If I should pray This cowboy song Is all I know To bring me back into your arms Your distant sun Your shining light You'll be my dark star shining tonight I've been the lowest of the low on the planet I've been a sinner all my days And I was living with my hand on the trigger I had no sense to change my ways The priest asked if I'd embrace the resurrection To suck the poison from my life Just like an existential cowboy villain His words were balanced on my knife Devil to pay On judgment day Would Jesus strike me down If I should pray This cowboy song Is all I know To bring me back into your arms Your distant sun Your shining light You'll be my dark star shining Tonight Every night Every night All my distances afar This cowboy song Is all I know To bring me back into your arms This cowboy song This cowboy life I'll be your dark star shining Tonight (Words and music by Sting) The people gave me a huge appreciative round of applauds. I grinned and let the euphoria wash over me like a drug. I peered into the bay window and saw that the night was getting closer by the minute and I still had at least a dozen more songs to sing. By around the tenth song that I've sung, only the low fading orange light of dusk settled on the horizon and the new moon glimpsed itself to start another cycle. The music I provided helped to allay some of the stress that these people felt. Not all of them could take a vacation like what I was doing to do. I searched for familiar faces and found a few. Some sophomores that dote on my every movement in school. Some batch mates that come here to meet up. And a few teachers I knew from the faculty. These were the people that greet him in the morning and would eventually get their faces here, whether to work in a quiet corner or to simply sip on the delights of a good cup of coffee. It makes me happy knowing that someone out there loves seeing me perform. I faced the door and my breathing suddenly stopped. Luckily, I just ended a song. The Man came inside. The Man that I forgot had existed. The one came into my life all those months ago when I thought that he was just a mere hallucination. This must be a dream because the Man is here. Shaking myself into reality, I forced myself to calm down and tried to avoid the man's piercing gaze as he placed himself at a table directly in front of me. He wore a simple gray turtleneck sweater with black jeans. His eyes, still as powerful as I all of a sudden remembered, held steady as I tried to compose myself. His face was neutral and expressionless, though I could see the slight worry lines on his forehead that I recognized as signs of brooding. Suddenly, my mind started to race, as if it was trying to find something to show, something to give that man. It hit me quite suddenly, I could just sing something to him, sappy as that idea could be. Time for some subliminal suggesting. Take me now, baby, here as I am Hold me close, try and understand Desire is hunger is the fire I breathe Love is a banquet on which we feed Come on now, try and understand The way I feel under your command Take my hand, come under cover They can't hurt you now Because the night belongs to lovers Because the night belongs to lust Because the night belongs to lovers Because the night belongs to us Have I doubt, baby, when I'm alone Love is a ring on the telephone Love is an angel, disguised as lust Here in our bed 'til the morning comes Come on now, try and understand The way I feel under your command Take my hand, come under cover They can't hurt you now Because the night belongs to lovers Because the night belongs to lust Because the night belongs to lovers Because the night belongs to us With love we sleep, with doubt the vicious circle turns, and burns Without you, I cannot live, forgive the yearning burning I believe in love too real to feel, take me now, take me now, Take me now Because the night belongs to lovers Because the night belongs to lust Because the night belongs to lovers Because the night belongs to us (Song by Patti Smith; cover version by the 10,000 Maniacs) I closed my eyes during the last couple of notes of the song and let the world pass as I tried to remember my memory lapse. Looking up in front of me, I noticed the man was gone. Twice this guy left me in the dust and it both unnerved me and excited me. I finished with one last song and approached Joey who somehow convinced the girl with the revealing top that he was some guy who owns the Virgin Megastore in the mall. Rolling my eyes, I dragged him out of there and said goodbye to my mom. On the ride back, Joey forgot, for the moment, his woes with the 'Lance Situation' and cracked a few jokes. I, on the other hand, half-listened and thought about my second encounter with the man with the sad face. Since Joey's house was two houses down from Christina's, I dropped him first so I could get to bed early. After pastrami sandwich and a dose of Benadryl to sedate me, I was out like a light. (Don't follow this, kiddies. My dad was a General Practitioner of medicine and would do this if just to get me to sleep at night.) TBC...