Date: Tue, 05 Oct 1999 21:26:13 EDT From: "Paul (The Town Tramp)" Subject: Rock Bottom (Gay/Celebrity/Boy Bands) Rock Bottom By Paul Note: This story does not imply anything about the sexuality of Brian Littrell or Nick Carter of the Backstreet Boys. If you are under 18 or are offended by homosexual literature, then you should go away now. Thanks for all of the responses to Chapter Two. For those of you who have asked about the plot, I have two storylines worked out and I will choose one that I will follow. Both are filled with romance, drama, action, and of course, gratuitous gay sex. Enjoy Chapter Three. Chapter Three: Brian sat in the driver's seat of his black Mercedes convertible. Nick sat in the passenger seat, still with his hospital bracelet hanging around his wrist. It had been two days since Nick's preliminary evaluation, and Dr. Locke had finally signed the papers to release Nick from the hospital. He had determined that Nick was no longer a suicide risk, and had started him on 40 mg of Prozac, a large dose of the anti-depressant drug. The radio was on, and "Hold On" by Sarah McLachlan came on: Hold on, hold on to yourself, for this is going to hurt like Hell, Hold on, hold on to yourself, you know that only time will tell, What is it in me that refuses to believe this isn't easier than the real thing? My love, you know that you're my best friend, You know I'd do anything for you, My love, let nothing come between us, My love for you is strong and true. Nick turned down the radio. "So, where are we going," he asked, slightly happier than he had been, but not anywhere near his normal self. "Back to my new apartment," Brian said. "The conditions of your release were that you would be in my custody. So, for the next little while, you're going to be staying with me." "So, you moved out of yours and Howie's and Kevin's place?" "Yeah," replied Brian. "I moved in yesterday. It's a nice penthouse suite. I'm sure you'll enjoy it." Nick paused for a second while thinking about life in Brian's penthouse. Over the last few days in the hospital, Nick had grown more and more attracted to his friend. Nick had gone over every second of their closeness when Nick told Brian he loved him, and he cherished how that closeness made him feel. When he was close to Brian, Nick felt healed and loved, because he knew that Brian genuinely cared for him, and even loved him. They reached their apartment building, and Brian turned into the driveway. They went into the underground parking lot, parked the car, and got on the elevator. Nick carried a bag of his things that he had at the hospital, and looked up at the ceiling of the elevator. It was at that moment that he realized that he was outside of the safe environment he had been in since he woke up. Even though his surroundings were so drab and depressing, the hospital had been so safe as he knew that there was nothing he could do to himself. Even though he didn't feel like killing himself at the moment, Nick realized that he could kill himself on the outside if he really wanted to. Brian sensed Nick's anxiety, and rubbed him on the shoulders. Brian had also been thinking about what was exchanged between them when they were so close that day. Nick had said that he loved him. Brian wondered if that mean that he loved him as a friend, or if he loved him as a lover. As Brian had been thinking about Nick a lot, he was beginning to realize that his love for Nick was not limited to friendship, and very much was becoming a mixture of romance and attraction. The bell ringed signifying that they were at the top floor. The doors slid open, and Brian and Nick exited the elevator. The walked a few steps to the door, at which Brian took out his keys and unlocked it. The door opened and revealed a vast, luxurious penthouse. The floors were of hardwood and the windows towered to the ceiling letting vast amounts of natural light in. There were many plants and trees throughout the apartment. There were several sitting areas with crushed velvet and leather furniture. There was an iron staircase to the upper level which led to the two bedrooms which overlooked the rest of the suite. Nick dropped his bag on the floor by the door. "Nice place, Brian," Nick said. "You have such good taste that I'd swear you were gay." Brian bit his tongue. "Well, I knew that I'd have to live with your criticism, so I decided to do it right." Brian sat down on one of the crushed velvet couches, and motioned for Nick to sit beside him. Nick crossed his legs and looked toward Nick. "Why didn't you ever tell me you were gay," Brian asked. "I don't know, Bri. It's not you, because I didn't tell anybody else. It's just that I met Justin, and we were together so long and then it ended, that I never really had to tell anybody else." "Who is Justin?" Brian asked in a lower tone. Nick paused for a moment. "I really can't tell you, Brian. It's really not going to make a difference if you know who he is or not. He's just an ex-lover." "Shouldn't he know what happened, Nicky?" asked Brian. "Well, Bri, I don't know why. I mean, you haven't told the rest of the boys, or my parents, so why should he know?" "Well, you mentioned him specifically in your note, and..." "What I said, I believe," Nick started, "is that he is not to be blamed or that it's not because of what happened with him. Anyway, if he knew, he'd probably try to make contact with me and I really don't want that to happen right now." "Okay," said Brian. "Whatever you want, Nick." Nick paused and looked into Brian's eyes. "So, what is there to do around here." "Here, specifically," Brian began, "nothing much. The satellite system hasn't been installed yet. However, there is a master stereo that has speakers going throughout the whole suite." "Cool," said Nick. "Why don't you put it on?" Brian stood up and turned on the CD player. He pressed play, as he already had some of his CDs in there. "Black Balloon" by The Goo Goo Dolls began to play, with it's powerful lyrics and it's hypnotic tune: Baby's black balloon makes her fly, almost fell into that hole in your life, But you weren't thinking about tomorrow, 'Cause you were the same as me, but on your knees. A thousand other boys could never reach you, how could I have been the one? I saw the world spin beneath you, And scatter like ice from the spoon that was your womb. Coming down the world turned over, and angels fall without you there, And I go on as you get colder, or are you someone's prayer? Nick turned to Brian who was now sitting with him on the couch. Nick tapped Brian on the shoulder to get his attention. "Can you switch songs, Bri?" Nick asked. "That one has a very personal meaning." "Sure," said Brian, and he walked to the CD player and selected another song. Sarah McLachlan's "Good Enough" came on: Say your glass is empty, it's a hell of a long way home, Why don't you let me take you? It's no good to go alone, I never would have opened up but you seemed so real to me, And after all the bullshit I've heard it's refreshing not to see... Brian saw a tear start to roll down Nick's face. Brian got up off the couch, and grabbed Nick's hands. He pulled him so he stood and hugged Nick long and hard. Then, Brian put his hands around Nick's waist and started to dance with him. Nick understood what was going on and put his arms around Nick's shoulders. Then, they looked into each other's eyes. Their faces grew closer, and then their lips touched. They opened each other's mouths into a kiss. What will become of this kiss? Find out in Chapter Four. E-mail comments to thetowntramp@hotmail.com.