Date: Wed, 17 Nov 1999 10:17:21 PST
From: Jason Clarke <jaclarke@hotmail.com>
Subject: Ryan and Lance - Part 4

This story involves members of the bands NSYNC.  I am in no way implying
anything about the sexuality of any of their members.  This is purely a
fictional story.  Enjoy!

Please send any comments and/or suggestions to jaclarke@hotmail.com (ICQ
#7964029)

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Ryan and Lance - Part 4

Ryan stood in front of the four NSYNC members speechless.  Saying his name
shouldn't have been too difficult a task but at that moment, Ryan just
couldn't do it.

"Who is it?" Lance could be heard yelling from upstairs.  When there was no
answer, he came out of his room and looked downstairs.  Seeing five people
standing at the front door, not saying anything at all, Lance rushed
downstairs to make the necessary introductions.

"Hi guys, what's up?"

"Just wanted to know if you wanted to go clubbing tonight," Joey answered,
his eyes still fixed on Ryan.

"Yeah, we haven't gone clubbing together for too long," Chris chimed in.

"Nah, I think I'll stay in tonight.  Have a few things that I want to do."

"You sure?" JC asked.

"Yeah." Realizing that Ryan was still standing there in a very awkward
situation, Lance decided to begin the introductions.  "Guys, I'd like you
to meet Ryan.  And Ryan, that's JC, Chris, Joey, and Justin."

"Nice to meet you, Ryan," they all said in unison, then each proceeding to
shake Ryan's hand.

"Likewise," Ryan replied, still recovering from his shock.

"So, you a friend of Lance?" Chris asked.  Ryan could've swore that there
was a tone of suspicion mixed in with the question.

Lance could sense this too and moved quickly to take control of the
situation.  "Yes, Ryan is my friend.  Geez, Chris, what kind of a question
is that?  I mean, why else would he be here in the first place?"

"I suppose that was a stupid question," Chris said, blushing a little.

"Hey, I wouldn't expect any less from ya," Lance teased.  Chris moved to
mess up Lance's hair, but the blond singer moved away just in time.
"You're asking for it if you mess with my hair."

"I'll get you, Scoop, just you wait."

"Well, I guess we'll get going, Scoop," Justin finally said.  "We'll chat
later."

"Sure thing.  Have fun guys."

"We will.  Nice meeting ya, Ryan," JC said as the guys headed for the car.

Lance closed the door and was about to head back upstairs when he noticed
Ryan still standing there, looking at the ground.  Lance walked towards
Ryan and said softly, "everything okay, Ryan?"

"I'm sorry, Lance."

"For what?  You sure like to say sorry a lot, don't you?" Lance remarked,
trying to cheer Ryan up, though without much success.

"For making you stay home with me instead of going out with the guys."

"Ryan, you should listen when I speak.  I told the guys that I wanted to
stay home because there were things that I wanted to do, meaning I am
staying here with you and Scottie, not because I have to but because I want
to."

Ryan was overwhelmed with emotion.  He couldn't believe that someone could
be so good to him, someone who barely knew him, not to mention a famous
celebrity.  As these thoughts swirled in his head, he could feel a few
tears streaming down his face.  Before he knew it, Lance handed him some
kleenex.

"I know you've had a rough day, probably many rough days.  I can't even
imagine what you and Scottie must have gone through."  Then Lance placed
his finger under Ryan's chin and lifted his face so that their eyes met.
"But listen to me, Ryan.  Things are going to get better now, I'm going to
make sure of it."

Ryan could not help but smile.  He could feel Lance's concern for him, a
feeling that he had not felt in a long time.

"What're you smiling about, Mister?"

"It's just the way you said that.  You sounded like you meant business."

"I did, Ryan.  That's one thing you've gotta know about me.  When Lance
Bass says he's going to do something, he's gonna get it done.  Now you get
yourself upstairs and take a nice, hot shower.  I put some clothes on your
bed.  After that, we'll head to the mall."

Ryan obediently followed Lance's instructions.  Halfway up the stairs, he
stopped and turned to face Lance.  "What about..."

"Don't worry about Scottie, I'll keep him entertained."

Ryan smiled and continued walking upstairs.  He went back into his room,
grabbed the clothes that Lance set out for him and headed for the shower.
He spent a minute or so admiring the huge bathroom.  It was so elegantly
decorated, so beautiful, just like the rest of the house.  He turned on the
shower and felt the hot water massage his body, a feeling that he hadn't
experienced for a long time.  He couldn't hold back his tears any longer as
he thought back to the events of the past year.  He remembered Lance's
promise that things will get better now.  For some reason, he believed
Lance.  "Yes, things are going to get better now," Ryan said to himself.

Meanwhile, down in the living room, Lance and Scottie engaged in a game of
Mortal Kombat.  Scottie was so into it and was beating Lance quite handily.
His laughter could be heard all the way upstairs.

"I won again, Lance!"

"I know!  You're too good, Scottie."

"I like you," Scottie said as he smiled at Lance.

"Thanks, Scottie.  I like you a lot too!"

They continued playing a few more games and Scottie was in the midst of
slaughtering Lance again when Ryan walked in.  Lance turned around to see
Ryan standing there smiling at them.  The blond singer was taken aback by
the sight before him.  It seemed that Ryan became a different person...he
looked even more beautiful than before.  Lance noticed Ryan blush a little
and realized that he had been staring.  A little embarrassed, Lance tried
to change the subject.  "So, feel better after the shower?"

"A lot better, thanks."

"No problem."

"So, ready to hit the mall?"

"I'm ready whenever you are."

"Well then, let's go!"

The drive to the mall was lengthened by heavy traffic.  Scottie had again
fallen asleep in the back seat.  There was silence in the car but it wasn't
an awkward silence.  "Scottie seems to really like you," Ryan finally
commented.

Lance smiled but kept his eye on the road.  "He's so adorable."

"And so are you," Ryan thought to himself.  He quickly suppressed that
thought for fear of embarrassing himself in front of Lance.

The rest of the trip was completed in relative silence, broken occasionally
by brief conversations.  Upon arrival at the mall, they had little trouble
looking for a parking spot since crowds were sparse at this time of the
day.

"You want to get something to eat first?  I'm kinda hungry."

"Okay."

The three of them made their way to the food court.  Ryan was just
beginning to wonder how he was going to pay for the food when he felt
pieces of paper in his pant pockets.  He placed his hands inside and took
out two fifty dollar bills.  Before he had a chance to ask Lance about it,
he noticed that the blond singer had already gone to the other end of the
food court.

After they had each gotten their food, they found a seat at a table
overlooking the first floor of the shopping centre.  "I borrowed a hundred
dollars from you for lunch," Ryan finally said.

"What hundred dollars?" Lance asked with the most innocent face.

"The hundred dollars in my pant pockets."

"Now why would I have a hundred dollars in your pant pockets?" Lance was
fighting hard not to laugh, but looking at Ryan's comical mix of
frustration and confusion was almost too much.

"But you...you put it there."

"I did?"

Ryan's eyes suddenly lit up, as if he had just figured out something.  A
smile emerged on his face.  "Thanks, Lance."

"For what?"

"I get it now."

"You're confusing me, Ryan," Lance said, still pretending to play dumb.

"Don't play dumb with me, Lance.  I know what you were up to."

Lance only smiled and continued eating.

They spent a few hours in the mall, getting new clothes for Scottie and
some for Ryan.  Lance got a pair of jeans and a pair of running shoes for
himself.  They were all tired from all the walking and they headed back
towards the car, each of them holding several bags.

They drove home and Ryan helped Scottie set up his room.  After that, Ryan
came downstairs to find Lance in the kitchen preparing dinner.  Ryan
quietly walked up to Lance, "So you can sing and cook as well?"

"As a matter of fact, yes," Lance replied with a smile, "although I'd
prefer singing to cooking anytime."

"Smells good."

"Pasta okay with ya?"

"You bet!"

"Great!  Should be ready in a while."  Ryan took a seat by the kitchen
counter watching Lance prepare the food.  "So, is everything okay with
Scottie's room?  Anything else he needs?"

"Everything's great.  He loves it." After a pause, Ryan continued. "I just
want to say thanks again, Lance.  You don't know how much you've done for
Scottie and I."

"You don't have to thank me, Ryan.  I haven't really done all that much.
But in any case, you're very welcome."

Ryan just sat where he was gazing at Lance.  He couldn't believe how
quickly things have changed.  Last night, he left Scottie in their 'home'
at the alley to search for food, only to almost lose his life to three
thugs.  Now, only 24 hours later, he was sitting in a huge house, metres
away from one of the hottest singers in the industry, a celebrity with a
heart as big as the ocean.

As the three guys sat down to dinner, they ate in relative silence,
occasionally broken by Scottie asking Lance a question or with a comment on
how good Lance's cooking was.  The events of the day had worn Scottie out
and Ryan took him up to bed early.  Scottie fell asleep as soon as his head
touched the pillow and Ryan could only smile at how peaceful Scottie
looked.  "Sleep tight, Scottie."  He shut off the lights and headed back
downstairs, where Lance was doing the dishes.

"Scottie's asleep already?" Lance asked as he was drying the dishes.

"Yeah, he's dead tired.  Hey, Lance, you did the cooking, so the least I
can do is wash the dishes."

"It's okay, I'm almost done anyways.  Why don't you help me put those
dishes away?  It goes in the right cabinet."

Ryan did as he was told as Lance finished up what he was doing.  Lance
turned to face Ryan and with a genuinely concerned look he said, "Do you
wanna talk about it?"

Ryan knew deep down that this moment was to come eventually.  He hesitated
somewhat, fearing that telling Lance the truth would jeopardize their
friendship.  Sensing the reluctance, Lance said softly, "Don't worry about
it, Ryan.  You can talk whenever you are ready.  You don't have to do it
now.  Come on, let's go watch some television."

"Wait, Lance."  The young singer turned to face Ryan once again.  He could
see the expression of pain on his face and his own heart ached at seeing
this.  "Please understand that this is very difficult for me, but I think
you deserve to know the truth."

"Ryan, you don't have to..."

"No, Lance, it's okay.  I think it's time that I came to terms with my
past."  They walked into the dimly-lit living room and sat down on the
couch.  Ryan took a deep breath and began telling Lance about his past.

"I grew up in an upper-middle class family.  We actually didn't live too
far from here, maybe about fifteen minutes north of here.  After Scottie
was born, my mother left, leaving my father to take care of the two of us.
About a year later, he remarried.  My stepmother was really good to us,
treating Scottie and I like we were her own.  We lived a pretty normal
life...my dad worked at a bank and my stepmom worked at a medical office."

Lance listened intently as Ryan spoke.  He could hear Ryan's voice getting
softer and would occasionally crack with emotion.

"Then, one night about a year ago, I was staying home with Scottie.  My dad
and stepmom were at a party.  At around midnight, a phone call came." Ryan
paused as he struggled to remain composed.  He could not, however, keep the
tears from streaming down his face.  "A man on the phone told me that my
parents were in an accident...and that...both of them didn't survive..."

Lance could feel the pain and sorrow as Ryan spoke.  He could feel tears of
his own forming as he listened to Ryan.  He reached over to hold Ryan's
hand and he could feel Ryan's hand gripping to his own for support.

"A few days later, some lawyers came to the house and said that because of
some contract that my dad had signed some years ago, the house was no
longer ours.  Apparently, my dad had some unpaid debts and they had to
liquidate our assets to pay for them."

"So what happened?  They just threw you out?"

"You could say that."

"Didn't you have any relatives in town?"

"Yeah, and I actually knew them pretty well.  But after they found out
about my dad's debts and all, they pretended that they didn't know me.
They didn't want anything to do with me..."

"How could anyone do this??" Lance said, totally bewildered at Ryan's
revelations.

"So Scottie and I wandered the streets and eventually we found an alley
where he would be safe.  During the day, I would go and...and...beg for
money on street corners and would use it to buy whatever I could for
Scottie to eat..." Ryan's sobs got louder as he retold his story.

"And you did that for a whole year?"

Ryan nodded.  "Sometimes Scottie and I would go for a day without food and
as I got desperate, I started to shoplift food so that he won't starve.
Luckily I never got caught."

"So who were those people in the alley earlier today?"

"I was out begging for money this morning and apparently the corner where I
was begging belonged to this gang.  They wanted me to pay them some sort of
rent for begging on their territory.  I didn't have money on me, and so I
ran.  No matter how fast I ran they were still behind me...so eventually, I
saw a window open and I just climbed in.  At around the same time, you were
coming home.  I was afraid that those thugs would find me if you yelled, so
I..." Ryan stopped again as he looked shamefully at Lance.  "I'm so sorry,
Lance.  I never meant to..."

Lance pulled Ryan into a hug.  "Don't worry about it.  It's okay."

"After I left the house, I tried to make my way back to the alley to get
Scottie but the thugs cornered me into the alley...and that's when you
found me."

Lance was touched by Ryan's story.  He had lived a relatively comfortable
life all his years and had no idea of what it meant to have to live on the
streets.  "I can even begin to imagine what you must've gone through...but
Scottie is so lucky to have a brother like you.  But like I said earlier
today, you don't have to worry about living like that anymore...the worst
is behind you...things are going to get better...you've got to believe
that, Ryan."

"I believe you, Lance, I really do.  I know we've only known each other for
less than a day but I already know that I can trust you.  And things have
already gotten better.  I mean, for the first time in a year, Scottie can
sleep peacefully tonight.  And I've found someone who has shown the biggest
heart I've ever seen." Ryan gazed at Lance as he spoke those last words,
and Lance blushed a little at the comment.

"Ryan, I want you to know how much it means to me that you've shared such
personal feelings with me.  Just know that no matter what, I'll be here for
you and Scottie."

"Thanks, Lance.  Thank you so much."

"You've had a rough day.  Why don't you get some rest?  We'll worry about
tomorrow when it comes."

"I think I'll do that," Ryan replied.  He got up and gave Lance a hug.
"Thanks for being a friend, Lance," he whispered into the singer's ears
before heading up the stairs.

Lance sat in the living room for a little while longer, trying to digest
all that Ryan had said.  "I've got to find a way to help Ryan through
this..." he thought.  As he sat on the couch thinking about the day's
events, images of Ryan and Scottie were suddenly replaced by images of
Eric.  "No! Leave me alone, Eric!" Lance's mind screamed for help, but
there was little that he could do.  The scene from the previous night
replayed over and over again...Lance saw Eric in bed with the guys...he
could feel himself being grabbed and being forcibly kissed by Eric...and
Eric pushing him to the ground like a piece of garbage.  "Why?  Why?" Lance
whispered.  "I loved you, Eric...why?"

Lance finally regained enough control of himself to walk upstairs.  As he
got to the top of the stairs, he could see Ryan's door open.  He decided to
check in on Ryan to make sure everything was okay.  As he got to the door,
he could see Ryan trembling...violently.  Lance rushed inside to see what
was wrong.  Ryan's face was ghost white and he looked like he was freezing,
even though the house was actually quite warm.  "What's wrong, Ryan??"
Lance was panicking, not knowing what was happening.

"Please...I need it..." Ryan was incoherent and Lance had trouble
understanding what he was saying.

"What is it?  What do you need?"

"L..Lance...please...get...me...the...ne...needle..."

"What needle?  Where is it?" By now, Lance was in hysterics.

"In...the drawer..."

Lance ran over to the dresser and opened the drawer.  He looked inside as
gasped.  Inside the drawer were a needle...and two packet of white powder.


...to be continued....

Hope you enjoyed this segment.  Let me know what you think!!

As always, I'd love to hear any comments/ideas/questions.  Please e-mail me
at jaclarke@hotmail.com (ICQ #7964029)